Long Way Home (2025) s01e02 Episode Script

1
[theme song playing]
[Ewan] Across 20 years,
and three incredible adventures,
we've traveled to some of
the farthest flung corners of the world.
This is us on the road, Charley.
This is us on the way, man.
Yet we've never properly explored
the countries on our own doorstep.
- Okay, here we go. Into Europe.
- [Charley] Let's do it.
So, we're spending
the summer riding a spectacular loop
through 17 of our closest neighbors.
[Ewan] Starting at my house in Scotland,
we'll cross over to the continent,
travel up through the Nordics,
and into the Arctic Circle,
down to the Baltics before winding our way
through the Alps and across France,
returning home about two months later.
[Charley] And we're gonna throw
caution to the wind
by doing the journey
on temperamental 50-year-old bikes
that have been given a new lease of life.
[Ewan] My bike's making a funny noise.
[bike clangs]
[Russ] Riding alongside them
on a third motorcycle
are cameramen Claudio and Max.
And the guys will also be taking
personal diary cameras.
[David] Russ and I will be following
with a small crew and two electric trucks.
Only meeting up
with the guys when necessary.
[cheering]
[Ewan] So, this summer,
Europe is our playground.
- Wow!
- [blowing]
[Ewan] And we're gonna follow our noses
and see what we find on the open road.
[Ewan] Okay, here we go.
Into Europe. Into Holland.
[Charley] My gosh. Here we go.
Welcome to Holland, everybody.
Ugh, I love a tunnel.
[Ewan] This trip's gonna be so different
from the rest of our trips.
We shouldn't have any pressures
of the extreme A to B of it all.
It can be more loose and slower.
And we'll have more time to meet people
and have more fun.
- More silliness, I should imagine.
- [laughing]
I think it's gonna be amazing.
So far, we've ridden from my house
in Scotland to Newcastle
where we jumped on an overnight ferry
to the Netherlands.
Today, we're gonna check out
a unique local sport
before camping near the German border.
First though, a quick pit stop for lunch
in Amsterdam.
Okay, there's a bicycle.
Wait, and go.
[Ewan] I love this town.
I've always loved this town.
[Charley] Breathtaking, isn't it?
As long as I can remember, I've traveled,
and I still have that burning feeling
of exploring and experiencing
different things.
[Ewan] When you're riding a bike,
you can go and explore the world.
It's good for your soul.
It makes you feel so connected.
[Charley] Are we allowed
to go on the pavement?
[Ewan] We're just here
to get some herring, don't you know?
I'm looking forward to trying them.
I'm starving.
[Charley] Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- [Ewan] Sorry, everyone. Sorry.
- [Charley] Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Sorry [chuckles] Oh, my God.
[Ewan] Can I buy this?
- I haven't used my credit card yet.
- Yeah, you buy this. Yeah, for sure.
- Hang on. Let's see what my pin is.
- You've got it on your phone?
- I've got my pin. Could do it on here.
- On your phone, you don't need it.
- You don't need your pin.
- No need for a pin on your phone.
- [cook] Would you like one or two?
- [Ewan] Two, please.
[Charley] Two, please.
'Cause we're gonna enjoy it together.
[Ewan] Well, there we go. Look.
- [cook] So, it's the traditional herring.
- Yeah.
[cook] It's been prepared in salt water.
So it's raw but it's kind of cured.
- So the outside is a little bit Um
- [Charley] Okay.
Would you like any onion
or pickle on that?
- [Ewan] Pickle, please. A little bit.
- Only pickles? No onion?
- [Ewan] What would you do?
- I would do both.
- [Ewan] Let's have both.
- Perfect.
[Charley stammers] I can't do raw.
My gluten and my phosphorus
is very tricky.
[cook] So we'll do just pickles for you.
- Is that a thing with onions?
- I don't know.
I just burp 'em up. [chuckles]
- Mmm.
- [Charley] Good?
- [Ewan] That's really good.
- [cook] Thank you. Thank you very much.
[Charley] Very good. Delicious.
Really nice. Let's go outside
where we've got more room.
To enjoy it.
This is a huge flower market
that goes all the way down there.
I walked along here with Mary
not long ago.
- Should we have a quick look?
- We haven't got time.
- But, anyway, it's very nice to be here.
- [laughs]
[both chuckling]
[Ewan] Oh, all right,
seeing as we're here.
[Charley] Just blend in, okay?
No one will notice.
[Ewan] Okay.
- [Charley] Would you buy me a flower?
- [Ewan] I would buy you flowers.
- I would.
- Oh, I've got nowhere to put them.
But I like the thought.
I'll keep that in my mind.
Get me Buy me a bulb.
[Ewan chuckles]
Oh, look. There's those big cheeses. Look.
You know when they talk
about the big cheese?
- That's the one they're talking about.
- The big cheese
Yeah, it was here. Should we take one
for camping tonight?
Yeah, let's get a cheese.
Which one do you recommend?
Okay, I have a traditional Gouda
over here
- which is unpasteurized.
- [Ewan] Oh, yeah?
- Let's take that one, shall we?
- That one, yeah.
- [Ritah] Shall we try this one?
- Yes, please. Yeah, let's try it.
Ooh, look at that.
[Charley] Oh, that's the
the wax you're taking off.
- [Ritah] Yeah.
- [Charley] I see.
- You've done this before, have you?
- [Ritah] Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- [Charley] Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
[Ewan] Thank you so much.
- Ooh.
- It smells amazing.
You're in the movies, right?
- I am in the movies.
- [Ritah] Yeah, I knew it.
- [chuckling] So sorry. Sorry.
- [chuckles] It's all right.
[Charley] We'll take one of those. Can we?
[Ewan] Guys, if anyone's interested,
I have the cheese, okay?
If anyone's looking for it later.
Okay, here we go.
[Ewan] I love the excitement
of seeing the world.
I just get such a lot of pleasure
out of seeing the different landscapes
- and being in them.
- [bell rings]
There they are.
Look, here's our first windmills.
[Charley] Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
Wow.
[Ewan] It's just so flat here, isn't it?
[Charley] Yeah, I think most of this
would've been underwater
if it wasn't for the canals.
[Ewan] Okay, let's see
what this crazy local sport is all about.
All will be revealed in a minute.
[Charley] In a minute, yeah.
[Ewan] Hello. Hi, how are you?
- I'm Erika.
- Erika. Lovely to see you.
I didn't realize it was a proper setup.
- [Ewan] Wow.
- [Charley] Oh, look at that. Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- [Ewan] Oh, it's so hard.
- [Charley] Oh, ouch.
[Erika] The furthest jump
in the whole world
is 22 meters and 21 centimeters.
[Ewan, Charley exclaiming]
And what's holding the pole in the bottom?
Rocks. L-L-Little rocks.
[Ewan] I love that it's just unique
to this part of the world, isn't it?
Like, you don't see this
anywhere else, do you?
I've never seen it anywhere else.
It must've come from the necessity
of getting over the canals.
- Well, from field to field. I suppose
- Yeah.
- they just took the stick
- "Go get that thing over there."
"Uh, okay."
[imitates leaping sound]
[Ewan] Look. This young girl here. Look.
Watch, watch, watch, watch.
So mad, eh? I bet you that moment
where you have to
There's a point of no return,
you know, where you reach out.
She looks like she's hurt her leg.
Oh, well, she's strapped it anyway.
- [Erika] It's a bicycle tire.
- [Ewan] Oh, for grip?
- Yeah, yeah.
- For grip. I thought she hurt herself.
[Erika] They also use the spray
for more grip.
- So, like sticky, sticky on your hands.
- Stick on your hands?
- [Ewan] Here we go.
- [Erika] There she goes.
Sometimes they fall in the water.
Does anyone hit the edge?
Is hitting the edge a thing?
- [Erika] There's, uh, foam in it.
- Oh, there's foam.
- [Erika] Yeah.
- [Ewan] I don't know when Charley's
- When are you doing your jump?
- [Charley] My jump?
[chuckles]
[Charley chuckling] Oh, he's in. He's in.
Oh, that's cold.
That is motivation
to get it right next time.
Yeah. Definitely.
How do you start?
What's the first thing you do?
[Daniel] When I was a little kid, I
- I was climbing trees.
- Yeah.
Is that the first thing?
Just to climb a pole?
And then to do it when it's moving
over water.
- [Charley] So you got first place?
- [Daniel] Yes.
Top man! He got first place.
- Right.
- Good man. That's great.
[announcer speaking Dutch]
[spectators applauding]
What an opportunity, eh?
To be able to, you know,
explore our backyard.
You know, all you have to do
is jump on a boat
and you've got the whole of Europe
to explore.
[Ewan] Yeah, absolutely.
[gentle music playing]
It was quite amazing
to watch these young people
throw themselves at a pole
and climb super high up it.
And just something you wouldn't see
anywhere else.
It's the smell of grass
and the evening light.
It's after nine o'clock. Look.
Oh, yeah. Mmm.
[Ewan] Whoo.
I love that about bikes,
that you can smell everything.
It becomes another sensual experience
as you ride along.
Oh, what a spot.
What an amazing place to camp.
[music stops]
- [Ewan] How are you?
- I'm Jaap.
My name is Ewan,
and this is my friend, Charley, over here.
Nice to meet you.
- This is beautiful.
- It is, yes, this is right.
It's the first time I've been so close
to a windmill
- in my whole life.
- You, really?
I'm the miller of this mill.
I volunteer
I, uh I
- I work with this mill.
- [Charley] Wow.
When the water is too high,
then I use it to drain.
- [Charley] So you're pumping the water?
- [Jaap] Yes. Yes.
- [Charley] And it's still working today?
- [Jaap] Yes.
- Can we see inside?
- [Jaap] Yes, come in.
You've never before been in a mill?
- [Charley] No.
- In a mill?
[Ewan] When was it built?
- Uh, 1877.
- Wow.
- [Jaap] Now, you can look up there.
- [Ewan] Can we go up?
I warn you, this is also the way
you have to go downstairs.
- [Ewan] Okay. [chuckles]
- [Charley chuckles]
[Ewan] Look at the edge of the wing.
It's like an aeroplane wing.
Look at that. [exhales sharply]
- [door closes]
- [Ewan] Amazing.
[Jaap] I'm retired and this is my hobby.
This is the best way to spend your time.
- Ah, nice. That's nice. [chuckles]
- [laughing]
[Charley] Well, I think now
we can get our tent up.
- And we can, uh, spend the night.
- [Jaap] Yeah.
[Charley] I mean,
you've got a ground sheet. I don't
I'm not sure I have a ground sheet.
No, that's not right.
[Charley] I don't know
how good this tent, Ewan,
is gonna be when we get a bit colder.
I'm sort of thinking this is quite summery
this this this tent.
Ooh, hello.
[blowing]
I'm a bagpiper.
Nothing to me, this.
This is just, um, like half our 3/4 set.
[crew member speaks indistinctly]
That's it. Look at that.
That's good, isn't it?
[Ewan] Sorry for my morning appearance.
I have to say it was quite
toasty in my sleeping bag,
which I was relieved about
'cause I didn't know.
But what a place to wake up.
[chuckles]
Look up there. Right underneath
the old windmill.
Spectacular.
Spectacular. Spectacular.
No words in the vernacular.
That was a tough old sleep, that was.
It's always difficult the first time
that you sleep in camping
[yawns]
when you haven't done it
for a long time, you know.
I was toasty in my bag. I'm so sorry.
It was my mistake of just not
being into bed properly.
- You know?
- Yeah.
And it was quite cold.
Oh, no. It was cold last night.
It was cold when we arrived.
- [Charley] Fucking cold.
- [Ewan] Yeah, it was properly cold.
I'm looking forward
to this ride today, Charley.
[Charley] Yeah.
After yesterday, we sort of got into
the rhythm of it a little bit, didn't we?
It's not really very attractive.
It's like a gorilla's arse.
But, like, really close to my mouth
all day long.
You know what I mean? That feeling?
[chuckles]
[bike engine rumbling]
My bike need a little waking up.
She's not quite ready for the day
till she's, like me,
had a couple of coffees.
You lead on, Charley.
We're going to your gaff today.
[horn honking]
[Charley] That was a beautiful campsite.
I kind of made a lot of mistakes
as need to be wearing clothes
when I go to sleep next time.
Today, we're crossing the border
into Germany,
heading for the town of Wesselburen
where my late mum was born.
Oh, God. It's such a difference
when the sun is out.
[Ewan] Oh, yeah.
Think we're in Germany, Charley?
[Charley] I don't know.
We're going a lot faster.
Or they are. [chuckles]
[Ewan] I've always ridden old motorbikes.
And this one,
it's a 1974 Californian police bike.
[siren wailing]
Pull over!
No! I don't wanna be arrested.
I haven't done anything!
- [chuckling]
- [siren stops]
What kind of time is it, Charley?
Is it twelve or is it eleven?
[Charley] It's twelve o'clock.
[Ewan] Should we do a lunch?
[Charley] Do we keep an eye out
for somewhere that looks nice?
[Ewan] Yeah, I think so.
Oh, hang on. This looks promising.
- Oh! Oh!
- Is that it? Oh, hello.
There's a little [speaking mock German]
over here.
[Ewan chuckles]
Very nicely done, Charley.
[Charley] I just wanted to get
as close as possible to the chips.
[chuckles] I was hoping
that might be a coffee truck.
[Charley] It looks like an alcohol truck.
[marching band playing]
[Ewan] Hang on. What's this?
Wait a minute. What? Hang on.
What's that all about?
Two days in and we're already
on our second marching band.
[Charley] Look at that.
- Yoo-hoo!
- [cheering]
[playing continues]
[stammering] What is it?
- Like an anniversary or something?
- [passerby] Shooting club.
Basically, every year, they are shooting
out who is the shooting king.
That's cool. Good timing.
- Hello. Good to see you.
- Hello. How are you? Nice to meet you.
- You're the shooting champion? Okay.
- The champion.
- What does this mean?
- Achtung Schützenfest.
- It's a drunk shooter. [laughing]
- It's a drunk.
When you're drunk, you go
- [Ewan] I see.
- [all laughing]
[people cheering]
Day drinking is very normal around here,
he says.
[Charley chuckles] Yeah.
[passerby speaking German]
They will just sit down,
shoot a bit and then, um, uh,
go and have a drink.
- [Marcus laughing]
- Drink and shoot. Good mixture.
[laughs] No, it's good.
- Yesterday we had a big, big party.
- Mm-hmm.
A party so great, as we've never had.
- [Ewan] Oh, really?
- Yes.
- We love it.
- That's great.
- [Ewan] Okay. We're gonna have a go.
- [Charley] Okay. That's a long way.
Charley, you go first.
- And then
- And load it.
[Marcus] And now close it.
[Charley] Okay, out.
- Like this, okay.
- Oh, okay.
[Ewan]
Now, you're at a slight disadvantage,
because you haven't been drinking
for three days.
[gunshot]
Oh.
- What's the feeling?
- Okay. Well, I don't know but
- Oh, there.
- Oh, there! Look!
[all cheering]
- It's yours. [laughing]
- Oh, thank you.
So, that. That's a solid four, basically.
[Ewan] Okay.
- [Marcus] And slowly.
- [Ewan] Yes, sir.
[gunshot]
- [Charley] No, he got it.
- [Marcus] Ah!
[Ewan] That's not bad.
I thought I totally missed it. Okay.
Pretty darn good, that is.
Thank you very much, sir. It was a nice
chance that we came across your party.
And it was nice to see that
you were all having such a great time.
- Thank you.
- Cheers. Thank you.
- Have a nice trip.
- Yes. Thank you very much.
[Charley] That was a very cool setup
they had there, wasn't it?
[Ewan] Yeah.
[Charley] The target practicing
was like in the movies.
[Ewan] I can't imagine
having one attached to a bar, though.
It seems like a disaster
waiting to happen.
But I suppose it's been that way forever.
Yeah.
I've never seen so many drunk people.
[laughing]
[Charley] We're nearly at my mum's
hometown now, just a ferry ride away.
[Ewan] Oh, wow. There it is.
[Charley]
This takes me right back to my childhood,
when we used to visit
the German side of my family.
My mum passed away a few years ago.
And we were very close.
So, visiting the place where she grew up
and spent a lot of her time
is very special to me.
We're meeting my mother's brother's
children, Boris and Erika,
and we're gonna stay with them.
And then show Ewan where Mum
came from and where I went as a kid.
- How often would you come here?
- Not usually often,
but when we did come
it was real, kind of, jam-packed.
- Yeah, holiday time. The fun.
- Holiday time, yeah. Exactly.
[Ewan] Cousins. I always have
such a great time with cousins.
[Charley] Wesselburen. We're here.
[chuckles]
Gosh.
It's been a very long time
since I've been here.
Oh, my God. Everybody is here.
- [horn honking]
- Hello! Hello! Hello!
- [Ewan exclaims, chuckles] Look.
- [Charley] How funny. Hello!
- Good to see you.
- Nice to meet you.
- How are you?
- All right. Boris.
Ewan, nice to meet you. How are you?
- Hi, I'm Erika, cousin of Charley.
- Nice to meet you. Are you well?
So, this is all my mother's family.
All these wonderful people
that I grew up with.
They all looked after me.
I haven't seen this one
for such a long time.
It's-it's quite extraordinary.
- And this is yours?
- This is, yes, it is.
Oh, my gosh. Whoa!
Charley, let's do the next one in this.
Yeah, it's amazing isn't it?
You know what would be good about it,
is when you drive I could have a nap.
Yeah.
- We've gotta take this for a quick spin.
- Mm-hmm.
[engine rumbling]
- Aw, like that.
- That's it.
[upbeat music playing]
So like clockwork. Did you feel it?
- Look at that.
- Just like that.
[Ewan] Whoo-hoo!
- Mom and Dad had one of these.
- Did they?
- That was their first car.
- No way.
- It was one of these.
- [honks horn]
You know, Dad was always
slightly eccentric and you know
Let's go round the roundabout
- and come back.
- Okay.
- [Ewan] D'you remember the film Brazil?
- Yeah.
And Jonathan Pryce drove
a little Messerschmitt bubble car in it,
and I've always wanted to have known one.
- Like the window demister. Look at that.
- Yeah.
- Like a trumpet.
- Nice, isn't it?
- Oh, you'd soon get used to this, yeah.
- Yeah.
[music stops]
- Wow, what a great welcome, Charley.
- [Charley] I know.
All your family. So lovely.
Let me get my dad on the phone.
[speaking German]
- Here we go. Look.
- Hey.
[in German] Dad speaks the best German
in the family, yes?
[Charley] Yeah. Naturally.
- [in English] But Charley
- Yes?
[in German]
Charley speaks the ugliest German.
[all laugh]
[in English] Okay. That's fine.
Thank you for that, my darling.
- That's so wonderful to
- [laughing]
So nice.
Look. And there's Boris with his son.
Look.
- Aw.
- Yeah.
Coming here and meeting Charley's family
has been really special.
It's lovely to see him
with his German side of the family
and meet them all for the first time.
And, uh, now I'm taking this opportunity
to dry my tent out a little bit.
And God, I look like my brother
with my haircut.
I really look like my brother.
Anyway, tschüss.
[engine rumbling]
I've ordered a new helmet.
'Cause this is not great for my sound.
And I'm coming up
- with some really amazing thoughts
- Good stuff.
on the bike, that are not being captured.
So, I'm going full flipped up.
I don't know.
I'm listening to half of them
No, you don't hear half of them.
Or at least,
you don't seem to hear half of them.
This is uncle Jana's tractor.
He'd go down to the supermarket,
where his farm used to be,
where my mum's little house used to be,
um, and he'd collect the beers,
and then he'd go and visit friends
on the way home.
We're just gonna have a quick look
around town now
and see where my mum lived
the last parts of her years.
She had a beautiful little house here.
Okay, right. Let's do it.
This is how I remember my uncle Jana.
But I don't remember the
- [chuckles] I don't remember the fumes.
- Clouds of smoke.
Yeah, I don't remember that.
Well, maybe as a kid I thought,
"Wow, smoke!" you know?
[tractor engine knocking]
The tractor is making me feel much better
about the noise my bike makes.
[chuckling]
This was Mum's little house.
This one here on the corner.
It's tiny inside. It looks bigger outside,
because upstairs, we had this, like,
super steep staircase going up to the top.
Really, really steep.
And there's a pretty little garden
in the back.
There you go.
[tractor engine rumbling]
- Oh, goodbye. See you later.
- See you later. Thank you.
[Charley] I really, really enjoyed it.
So, thank you.
Well, there we go, hey.
- Time to move. [chuckles]
- Nice.
[Charley] It's always nice to reconnect
with family, at the end of the day.
[Ewan] Must be emotional, I'm sure.
[Charley] So, let's head to Denmark.
- [Ewan] Long way Scandy, man.
- [Charley] Long way Scandy.
I've got these headphones
and I wanted to just see how it sounds.
- [music playing]
- Oh, yeah.
[Ewan] We're headed to the Danish island
of Funen,
where we'll spend the night
near a small town called Faaborg.
I think we're stopping here, Charley.
Maybe this is the border.
- Is this Denmark?
- [Charley] Yes, this is Denmark.
I don't think I've ever been to Denmark.
[Ewan] Yeah.
I don't think I've ever been to Denmark.
- [Ewan] Hello. Yeah. We're all right.
- [Charley] Okay, we got the nod.
Nice.
[Ewan] Hey, we're in Scandinavia now, man!
[Charley] Yes, we are!
[Ewan] It's just so different already.
We've come into Denmark
and the landscape's changed.
It's not so flat anymore.
And, uh,
I'm sure there's all kinds of Scandinavian
blood in my heritage if you look back.
So excited to explore.
Ah, this is beautiful. This is beautiful.
[Charley] Yeah. Really, really nice.
[whooping]
[Ewan]
Wow, that was awesome. Good bridge action.
[Charley]
I think we'll cross a lot of them
because Denmark
is made up of hundreds of islands.
[Ewan] Oh, wow.
I just love seeing the change
in the landscape as you go along.
It's brilliant.
[Charley] Well, that's what's so lovely
about sitting on a motorcycle.
Oh, it's a spit of land.
- [Ewan] Well, let's stop.
- Yeah.
[Ewan] Denmark, you're blowing my mind.
You know what it reminds me of, Charley,
of course?
No prizes for guessing.
- [Charley] Scotland.
- [chuckles]
[Charley] Well, well, well.
That air is like a balm or something,
isn't it? Beautiful.
Fancy a dip, Charley?
[Charley] Uh, yeah, sure.
[laughs] It's not that cold.
It's just that it's pebbly.
Charley-bum's going swimming.
[chuckling] Charley, who's idea was this?
[stammering] So how deep does it
Consider that I've actually gone in,
is it just [stammering]
Yeah.
[groans] Oh, my God.
[yelps]
[Charley shrieking, panting]
[grunting] God. Oh, okay.
[heaving]
Ouch. Ouch.
Oh, it's bad on the feet.
Now I don't have to wash these undies.
That is as good as a sort of launder,
isn't it?
Remember we almost got arrested in Egypt?
We were nudie swimming
and the military came along.
- They were really angry.
- They were angry.
[person] It's a military beach,
so the military guys came running at us,
because two white people are naked
in the beach of the military.
- Americans are invading us naked.
- [person 2 laughing]
Whoo!
Yeah, it was like "Okay, now get in.
Okay, now, frolic together. Okay.
- Look, so I can understand it."
- "Dunk him under. Dunk him!"
- Yeah.
- [laughing]
All, right, guys. We'll get the cameras.
In you go.
[Charley laughing]
- Okay, Charley.
- Let's do it!
- That was lovely, Ewan. Nice idea.
- [Ewan] I know. That was awesome.
[Charley]
It was a little colder than I expected.
I couldn't bring myself
to put my head underwater.
[Charley] Okay,
let's find our bed for the night.
It's a bit of an upgrade from camping.
It's so nimble, this bike, I have to say.
- It feels really easy to chuck about.
- Yeah.
Poppies!
[Ewan]
Wow, beautiful poppy field. Holy moly.
Look at that.
Spectacular. Wow.
Oh! Here we go. A left here.
[Charley] This is it here.
- [Ewan] This is it.
- [Charley] Hotel Slot.
This is a very, very, great,
grand entrance to our hotel.
- [Charley] Bloody Nora.
- Wow.
[Charley] Oh, yeah.
[Ewan] Goodness me.
It looks amazing, doesn't it?
- [Charley] Just bonkers.
- Good place for a horror film.
This could be quite spooky.
[Ewan] Shall we have
a bit of a wander around?
Oh, my God.
Yes, a staircase.
[gasps] Holy moly.
[Charley] Quite stunning, isn't it?
Shall we?
Look at this one.
- [gasps]
- [Charley] That's lovely with this light.
- [Ewan] Yeah, beautiful.
- And that ceiling.
[Ewan] What's through here?
[panting]
[Ewan] Oh, my God. It goes on and on.
[Charley] That's for the real
brave of heart.
Ooh, shit.
I got the collywobbles just then.
[Ewan] I did get the collywobbles.
- An incredible property.
- Hello.
[Charley] Look at that view.
[Ewan] Oh, my God, it's lovely.
Look at that avenue of trees
for the drive approach.
It's our first day in Denmark.
Felt pretty good getting here.
The landscape changes,
it starts sort of rolling hills and
You don't see as far anymore
because, like, when the
All those flatlands
in Holland and northern Germany,
you could see for miles, couldn't you?
[Charley] That's what I like.
That rolling hill stuff.
And then riding through those, like,
tree-lined roads
- Yeah.
- beautiful.
We got a new in-ear phone, and, um,
let's see if this new system works okay.
See if he's on the mesh,
Charley, next door.
[knocks on door]
[chuckles] Oh, it opens out.
- Hello.
- Just to check to see if you
- Have you done your helmet?
- Not yet.
- Oh.
- What?
- I've done it.
- Oh, really. Does it work?
- I was gonna come play with you.
- Oh.
Channel 3. Hi, hello.
- Oh, there you are.
- Oh, hello.
- Yeah. Yes.
- Cool. Wow.
[indistinct]
Well, that's pretty good, isn't it?
- Yeah, that's really good.
- I like it.
What a very strange couple of guys we are,
aren't we?
- Chatting away in a big, haunted castle.
- Yeah.
With our helmets on.
- All right then, mate.
- All right, mate. Well, listen
- See you in the morning. Yeah.
- It's really nice to see you.
- And, uh [laughs] I'll see you later.
- [laughing]
- Sleep well, Charley.
- Yeah, sleep well, mate.
- We can actually hear each other
- [Ewan] Through the wall.
- through the wall. [laughs]
- I mean, we'd just sleep in our helmets
and then we just don't need to stop
chatting to each other all night.
I'd just hear your breathing
as I go to sleep.
[both laugh]
[engines starting]
[Charley] Okay, let's do it.
[Ewan] All right, here we go. Another day.
I feel like my bike is so noisy.
Wish it was a bit quieter.
[upbeat music playing]
[Ewan] We're headed east
on the scenic route,
country roads, bridges and ferry crossings
to eventually reach the island of Møn,
famous for its beautiful landscape.
And on the way,
a Danish speciality for lunch.
Oh, yeah, this guy, look.
That could've been a graffiti artist
just pretending to be a roads guy.
Here we are at the smokehouse.
[music ends]
- [Ewan] Oh, smells amazing. Hello.
- [Charley] Hi.
- [server] Hi, Line.
- Line, nice to meet you.
Is this all smoked locally or
- [Line] Yeah, we smoke here.
- Oh, here.
Yeah. We have our own smokehouse
so we smoke every day.
- Really?
- Oh, fantastic.
Is it something we can see?
The smokehouse?
- Yeah, come on.
- [Ewan] This way?
- Come on. Oh, how cool.
- [Charley] Oh, superb.
- Oh, my gosh. Look at that.
- [Ewan] This is the smoker?
- Yeah.
- Okay, when do the fish go in here?
How long ago?
Seven o'clock.
- Oh, this morning, okay.
- Yeah.
The whole oven is full and then we smoke
three, four times every day.
It's a little bit noisy
but I hope it's okay.
- [chuckles] Are you ready?
- [Charley] Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
- [Ewan] Oh, my gosh.
Smells amazing.
[Charley] And what do you smoke it in?
[Line] In some wood.
- [Ewan, Charley] Wood.
- Yeah.
[Charley] Any particular kind of wood or
- No, I cannot tell you. Sorry.
- Okay.
- It's a secret.
- That's a secret.
- Oh, okay. Of course.
- Yeah, exactly.
[Ewan] Beautiful.
- [Charley] We can't wait to try it.
- [Line] Yeah.
- [laughs]
- Now it's lunchtime.
- Okay, great.
- Now is lunchtime, yeah.
- [Ewan] Thank you so much.
- You're welcome. [laughs]
[Charley] Oh, I can't wait.
I've got my fork. [laughs]
- I just walked up with my fork.
- [laughs]
- Oh, my golly gosh, look at this.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Here you go.
- Oh, shrimps, oh
- Thank you so much. Thank you.
- Oh, my God, a lovely rye bread.
- Did you have knives and forks?
- Yes, we have a fork already.
- Thank you very much.
- Oh, my God.
Bon appétit, Charley.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my God, it smells so delicious.
[Charley] It's so delicious.
That's it. Just leave me here, guys.
Enjoy the rest of the trip.
It's been really great fun,
but I'm gonna stay here. Sorry.
[Charley] Oh, Ewan, you've got a bit
of bird poop on here.
- Let me clean it up for you.
- Thanks, Charley.
That's when you know you've got
a really good friend,
- when he wipes the poop off your jacket.
- [chuckles]
- Cool.
- I thought I Thanks, Charley.
That's very funny.
- Well, it's very good luck, apparently.
- It's very good luck.
I don't know who came up with
that nonsense.
Yeah, somebody who just got pooped on,
I suppose.
Okay, off we go.
[rock music playing]
Whoo.
Oh, well, that was that was lovely.
Very, very, very delicious.
[Ewan] I'm burping up smoked fish
all the time now, just so you know.
- [Charley] Oh. [chuckles]
- [laughs]
- Whoo!
- Whoo-hoo!
[chuckles]
I love all these bridges connecting
all these islands.
It's great, isn't it?
Beautiful round here.
I'm having such a good time today.
Just loving it! Loving it.
- Wow, that was awesome.
- Good bridge action.
[music fades]
What timing.
I don't think the isle of Møn
is that far now.
Considering this is a 45-minute ferry,
you know, the food is beautiful. Look!
I don't want to dis Britain,
but on a train in Britain, you know,
you can be on a 9-hour train
and you don't get food anything like that.
Sorry, Britain.
Wow, that's hot. That's hot.
Where should we sit, guys?
Okay, this says quiet.
Look, it's a quiet cabin.
- [shushes]
- Let's not go there.
- Mmm.
- Is it good?
Oh, it's hazelnut.
[Ewan] What tune
are you listening to, Charley?
- I'm listening to Kylie Minogue.
- [laughs]
Do you remember when you introduced me
to her in Moulin Rouge?
[Ewan] Oh, yeah.
We came out of the bathroom
and you introduced me to Kylie and Nicole.
And you said, "This is Charley,"
and then you wandered off.
And they were looking at me
as if to say something, you know?
And this is what I said,
I said, [speaks gibberish]
And then, I walked off.
That was my chance. [chuckles]
- [both laughing]
- [guitar playing]
Right, I think we're here, guys.
[Ewan] The island of Møn.
Here we are. Look at the sea.
[Ewan] Look at this.
It's absolutely gorgeous, isn't it?
[Charley] Beautiful, yeah.
[Ewan] This little island is famous
for its nature reserve
and its white-chalk cliffs.
We're meeting a bar owner who'll take us
out to see them on his boat.
My bike is shaking my hands and feet
to bits today.
I don't know what's up with her.
[motorbike sputtering]
Come on, baby, come on. There you go.
[music fades]
[Charley] Wow, look at this.
- Welcome, you guys.
- Hello. How are you?
- I'm Ewan.
- My name's Ole.
Nice to meet you, Ole. This is Charley.
- Hi, I'm Ivar.
- Hi, how are you?
- Nice to see you.
- Nice bikes.
- Yeah, old.
- Yeah, it should be like this.
What kind of seamanship did you do?
- I was racing sailing boats.
- You're a racer. Okay.
Across the Pacific, across the Atlantic
many times, North Atlantic, and uh
- But one day you have to come home.
- Mmm.
Because if you are
staying out there too long,
you never find what you're looking for,
- because you have to find it at home.
- Yeah, for sure.
[Ewan] And what is this bar?
[Ole] The name of the bar is Klap Hesten,
and it means "Hold your horse."
Take it easy, think twice.
That's the name.
- Nice.
- Cool.
- You see a lot of names here?
- Yeah.
So if you come on a horse, you're allowed
to write the name of the horse up there.
- Yeah.
- And you get a free drink.
And if you come on an old motorbike,
for instance?
Ah, yes, it helps.
- Because those older bikes
- It helps [laughs]
- they look nice.
- Yeah.
You're qualified.
You can be allowed to write your name.
Okay, good. Okay.
[Charley] I'm feeling
terribly under pressure. [chuckles]
That's a nice drawing.
[Charley] My gosh.
- [rider] Hello.
- Hiya.
- Hello.
- That is hilarious.
[Ewan laughs]
Okay. [stammers]
- Enjoy that one first.
- [rider laughs]
There you go, my darling.
Can we have a look for a second?
There we go.
So, is this a common thing to come here?
It is, yeah.
Because we're good friends with Ole
- Yeah.
- and we ride together often.
So, it just came naturally.
Of course, I should go inside.
Of course. I mean, why not?
I'm guessing it's good riding around here.
[Amalie] Amazing, yeah.
We are almost bullet-proof,
so we go near the edge of the cliffs as
well so it's really amazing to just Yeah.
- He doesn't want to stay.
- He doesn't I'm sorry, darling.
I don't have any. No, no more.
Can't have my fingers. No, those are
- [Ole laughs]
- It's like
What he really wants is the gin.
That's what he really wants, you know?
[guitar playing]
[Charley] Those horses coming into
the bar was just hilarious,
as we're feeding them apples
and buying them a drink.
Okay, so we're on the way to meet Ole
who we met in the bar with the horses.
Then we're gonna go out on Ole's boat,
take a look at these cliffs.
On this island of Møn.
It's beautiful down here.
Absolutely gorgeous.
I like this little island.
It's cool, isn't it? Møn.
[Charley] It's a nice name.
[gasps]
[Ewan] Poor Ivar. Ivar, are you okay?
You're gonna get hypothermia
standing there.
Oh, he's going in.
- Ooh! Oh, my God.
- [Charley grunts]
That's over and above.
- Have you got it?
- Yeah. [grunts]
[speaks Danish]
[Ivar]
The conditions are a little bit rough,
so we're just trying to make sure
that we can get the boat out.
[Ole speaks Danish]
Do you think this would be a bad time
to ask where the coffee is?
[Charley chuckles]
Okay, well, the captain's in, well done.
[Ewan] Well done, guys. Thank you.
[Charley] The cliff should be
just around this corner.
[peaceful music playing]
Wow, it's so pretty. My gosh.
Wow, look at it. Amazing.
[Ole] All what you see
was once a tropical seabed.
Ten thousand years ago, ice came,
like a glacier, and took the seabed
and put it up like this.
So, all the white stuff is algae
from the sea dying, falling down.
So if you put your hand on the wall,
it's five thousand years.
[Charley] It's incredible,
that this was all the bottom of the sea,
wasn't it? And tropical.
[music fades]
Amazing.
- Good?
- Yeah.
Oh, it's really nice.
Also, I can taste the transmission oil
- from my hand.
- [chuckles]
- [Ewan] See you, Ole! Take care.
- [Ole exclaims]
- Bit of a dude really, isn't he?
- Yeah.
[guitar music playing]
[Charley] What a lovely morning.
It was fantastic
getting down to the beach.
What a place.
[Ewan] It's so beautiful down here.
I think we'll be in Copenhagen tonight.
[laughs]
- [Charley] Let's do it.
- Yeehaw, let's go.
- [tires screech]
- [thud]
- [Charley] Oh, oh, oh, shit. You okay?
- [motorcycle sputters]
[tense music playing]
Oh, man. Are you okay?
Oh, mate, that's horrible.
Ow!
Oh!