Lucky Luke (2026) s01e02 Episode Script

1
[ominous music playing]
7 DAYS EARLIER
[footsteps approaching]
IN TRIBUTE TO
MORRIS AND GOSCINNY
[Elizabeth] Evil has struck our peaceful
little town of Albuquerque.
Charlie Willow, a devout schoolteacher
and a pillar of our community,
has been kidnapped
under terrible circumstances.
Who did this? Why did they do this?
How did they do this?
I promise every one of these questions
will be answered.
You can count on me, fellow citizens.
As Governor of New Mexico,
I am at your service, as always,
and at the service of justice.
- Signed, Elizabeth Zee.
- [ominous music crescendos and ends]
"Elizabeth" with a "Z,"
and "Zee" with a "Z."
- [compelling music playing]
- As always, I remain
Oh, okay. You're not finished.
the protector of the tired
and oppressed of this nation.
Okay. Send it to the Borderland Herald.
Front page only.
[tense music playing]
I said to be discreet and meticulous.
[horse neighs in distance]
She fought back.
[Elizabeth] So what?
You better fix this, Lieutenant,
or else this whole thing
will blow up in our face
in a very non-meticulous way.
Our project's final date is in 13 days.
Before then, it is crucial
that you and your men capture
and question the schoolteacher.
I need to know what she knows,
who she's working with.
Speaking of which,
have you identified the third person
living here?
- The third?
- [curious music playing]
[sighs]
Her name is Louise.
And based on her book,
she can't be older than 18.
Your target list just got longer,
Lieutenant.
So throw that adobe in a mass grave
and start your search.
[corporal] Okay. I got it all.
Uh, so, for "adobe,"
should I put that in quotes?
Given the fact that it's a bit racist,
and we're not talking about pottery.
Are you still taking notes?
That's not for the paper.
- What we're doing is illegal.
- Oh.
[intriguing music crescendos]
Okay. So where should I stop?
7 DAYS LATER
[rooster calls]
so now, then.
Welcome to
FINAL CREEK
- [chains squeaking]
- [captivating music playing]
[horse grunts]
What?
Can't a guy change his mind?
[captivating music fades]
Haven't spotted her horse.
Hope she didn't skip out of town.
[glass shattering]
- [thuds]
- [Louise grunts]
[upbeat guitar music playing]
[grunting]
- [grunts, thuds]
- Guess not.
[gasps, pants]
[country western music playing]
[gunshot echoes]
CHAPTER II
ON CHARLIE'S TRAIL
[handcuffs clink]
[horse neighs in distance]
[grunts, sniffs]
What happened with her?
Her?
She's dangerous, to herself
and the people around her.
- Did she try to run away?
- Yeah, four times.
But she's no good at it.
This time, she hid in the middle
of a herd of cows.
She was even mooing.
She was almost trampled to death.
So I had no choice. I had to cuff her.
She's uncontrollable.
Another hour with her and I was a goner.
And I survived two Mexican Revolutions,
I'll have you know.
- [horse trotting nearby]
- [clicks tongue, sighs]
Go rest, my friend.
I'll get her under control.
Hey! No one controls me.
No one.
- [upbeat music playing]
- Okay.
[birds chirping]
[Louise] You're real lucky I'm tied up.
Or else I'd knock your teeth out.
Knock your lights out.
Knock your horse out.
You don't know who you're messing with.
You don't know where I'm from.
[Luke] Albuquerque?
[Louise] I don't mean literally.
- [insects trilling]
- [tranquil music playing]
[fire crackling]
Sure you don't want me to untie you?
I don't want your help.
- That's not what you said yesterday.
- Yeah, well, I changed my mind.
You think I'm gonna sit here
waiting for your help all day?
I don't need you.
You don't know the Wild West.
The Wild West doesn't know me, okay?
[sighs]
You still good?
- Staying tied up?
- [Elizabeth] I'm not hungry.
- Plus, there are no veggies.
- Wrong. It's got red beans.
- Yeah, but it's a legume.
- It grows in the dirt, right?
- It's a vegetable.
- [bowl clatters]
[animal howls in distance]
[slurping]
So [grunts softly]
Let's get back to your case.
Tell me about Charlie.
[intriguing music playing]
- Hmm?
- How'd you know my mom's name is Charlie?
- You said so.
- Mmm. But I didn't.
- You did.
- Nope.
Yeah, you did. Yesterday you said,
"We have to go save my mom
whose name is Charlie."
That so doesn't sound like me.
Whatever. Back to the case.
You said your dad wasn't around.
- So I guess there's no, uh--
- No?
No childhood sweetheart or companion.
No banjo player.
- What does that have to do with anything?
- She could've gone to them for help.
No.
The only man in our lives was Toukoum.
- Is he a native?
- Yeah.
But that's not his real name.
I nicknamed him Toukoum,
'cause I "took him" as my grandpa.
But his real name is Broken-Wing.
[intriguing music playing]
I waited for my mom all night.
In the early morning,
I noticed an opening behind the shelf.
[panel rustling]
[intriguing music intensifies]
[ethereal flute music playing]
And I found this behind the bookcase.
You found Charlie's gun in that bag?
How'd you know?
That's the kind of bag
you keep to run away.
Run away from what? She's a teacher.
What else is in it?
Some bullets, a bunch of matches,
uh, a knife.
I mean, it's still a lady's travel bag,
so I'll spare you the perfume,
lipstick, headscarf.
But the most surprising thing in here
is a sheriff's star.
[grunts quietly]
[Louise] I found that in front
of the house the other day.
What's weird is those birds
don't leave here.
Coragyps atratus.
- The black vultures.
- [Luke] Okay.
And how do you know all that?
Charlie overprotected me.
My only friends were my books.
Well, you ought to thank her.
Because now we have a lead.
We're going to Mafia Town.
[adventurous music playing]
[grunts]
[soil rustling]
[bird cawing]
[horses trotting]
[intriguing music playing]
[Luke] The feather you found
belongs to a fence who lives here.
"Scavenger Mary"?
Yeah. She's just like a vulture
with feathers in her top hat.
But Toukoum.
- Do you think she--
- No. She's not a killer.
But she might've seen who did it.
Hang on, Missy. So, listen.
We're gonna question her,
but we'll do it my way.
Calmly, discreetly,
and by staying out of trouble.
My hand's not fully healed.
- Okay?
- Hmm.
[exciting music playing]
MARY THE CARRION'S MARKE
[lock clanking]
[Luke sighs]
"Foreclosure notice. Doug Dogson Bank"?
What is this?
A notice that the bank now owns her store.
What it means is that--
- The scavenger's in jail.
- For fencing?
No. Living in debt.
- We have to talk to her.
- Hey.
It's $100 to see her.
That's the price of a horse.
Those are the sheriff's orders.
- That's robbery.
- I'd be careful, girl.
'Cause insulting a sheriff's deputy
is $200.
Don't mind her. We'll go see the sheriff.
You'll find him in the saloon.
Ask for Doug Dogson.
- The banker?
- The banker,
the sheriff, and the saloon manager.
[curious music playing]
Okay. Thank you.
Hey, come on. [clears throat]
[tense music playing]
Hang on. You're gonna let him
boss us around?
I don't want things to go sideways,
given the symbol on his neck.
What is it? A tattoo? A scar?
He was branded with an iron.
Just like cattle
[sinister music plays]
[slams]
[Luke] Hello, we're looking
for Doug Dogson.
[Doug] Well, then, look no further.
But I'm warning you,
if you're from the Health Department,
everything here is spotless.
- [blows air]
- Perfectly legal, and sheriff-approved.
I bet it is, given the number of deputies
who help you enforce the law.
That's a nice collection.
Ah, those.
FORECLOSURE
NOTICE
Those are my pride and joy.
Some people display their diplomas,
I show my foreclosures.
Mr. Dogson's a humanitarian.
An educated investor.
Oh, and let's not forget
to mention his good looks. [laughs]
Are they as good as his whiskey?
Five dollars a shot?
That's four too many, right?
You, what do you think?
Oh, well Well, you know better than me.
- [stirring music playing]
- Exactly. [chuckles]
Well, then, a round of $10 shots
for everyone.
[customers cheering]
[tense music playing]
- Paid for by you.
- [customers laughing]
Me?
Yes, with pleasure, sir. Of course.
[ragtime piano music playing]
[glass clinks]
Here's to Doug Dogson.
[sighs]
You know, before he got here,
this town was financially ruined
because of all the bank robberies.
In total, we lost $2,130.
Ah-ha, let me guess,
Dogson shows up with $2,130
and opens up a new bank.
Hey, how did you know that?
Hey, blabbermouth,
- stop your chattering.
- [tense music playing]
- You're disturbing the customers.
- Hey.
[revolvers cocking]
[hammer clicks]
Don't worry about it.
It's such an honor
to be strangled by a man
- who's so successful.
- [Luke] I think he got your point.
And I think he's willing
to pay me good money to keep on going.
- Isn't that right?
- [muffled grunting]
[gulps]
[muffled groaning]
[chuckles] For that much,
he can swallow his tongue.
- [muffled groans]
- For that much, let go of him.
It's gonna take more than that
to stop the long arm of the law.
Like, for instance, your shiny Colt
that you're just itching to use.
[groaning]
[tense music crescendos]
[sighs sharply]
[revolvers clatter]
[Alfred gasps, thuds, and coughs]
You know, both your belts
are pretty nice, too.
[sighs]
[tense music fades]
[sighs sharply]
We have to go see the mayor.
If anyone can restore authority
in this town, he can.
Hey, Louise, you listening?
WANTED LOUISE WILLOW
DEAD OR ALIVE
Yeah. The mayor, town authority
and all that.
- Okay. Let's go.
- No, I think I'm gonna stay here.
Because Because, well,
if we leave the horses alone
given what's going on,
I bet they'll get impounded.
- Okay.
- [Louise] Mmm-hmm.
- You stay put.
- Yep. Promise.
I'll just be here if I'm wanted.
I mean, needed. Why wanted?
'Cause wanted can mean
so many different things
to all sorts of people.
Huh.
[exhales]
[curious music playing]
Mr. Mayor, you're the only one
who can unite the citizens.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Help them defend themselves
against Dogson and his swindling methods.
It's all legal. That's the catch.
They were broke. The only bank in town
dishing out loans,
charging sky-high interest rates.
As a result, he made
all the indebted vendors go bankrupt.
He bought their stores for a dollar,
so he owns everything
and controls the prices.
And those who don't pay go to jail.
But if he hadn't robbed the bank,
no one would be broke.
Yes, I know, but we've never
been able to prove it.
And since the current sheriff
won't investigate himself
You're right, this won't be simple.
But now, Mr. Mayor, we better get going.
My thoughts exactly.
[horse neighs outside]
- Hang on. You're not leaving, are you?
- Of course not. Heaven forbid.
[jovial music playing]
[inhales and sighs]
EARLY ELECTIONS
VOTE DOGSON
[paper shredding]
[gun cocks]
[Billy] Don't you dare move.
That's right.
[chuckles] Surprise.
Hell, I don't know
what's keeping me from
from putting a hole in-- [gasps]
[Luke] You got a .38 behind your head
- [Billy gasps]
- and another one in your back.
- Your turn.
- [breath trembling]
- Who are you?
- [voice shaking]
[mumbling indistinctly]
Billy the Kid?
Luke?
[groans softly] Ah, dang it!
I was fooled by the bottle trick again.
What are you doing here?
- Nothing bad.
- Nothing bad?
- You almost killed my--
- Fellow partner.
- Trainee, you mean.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I wasn't gonna pop her.
She's my wife.
- What?
- Well, yeah.
Mrs. the Kid.
[bottle shatters]
JUS
MARRIED
[Luke sighs]
You got married to Billy the Kid.
- Yeah, real quick.
- Whoa.
I was looking for my mom.
I had no horse. I was in a hurry.
I ran into him in a small town.
Didn't know who he was.
So when I saw that he liked me,
I said, "Hey, let's get married."
He said, "Okay, let's get married."
So we got married.
He got really drunk to celebrate.
And I took off with his horse.
- That seems normal.
- No, it's fine.
- This happens.
- What are you talking about?
- You saying this doesn't?
- You don't
- You're right.
- Yeah.
Kind of. But that's not even the problem.
The problem is he's
the worst desperado in history.
No need to worry about that, Luke.
I'm not the worst.
And not a desperado either.
I was a child star, but now,
I'm nothing.
What happened to you?
Puberty, man.
It messed me up good.
The acne, the groin pains,
and zero muscle mass.
I sounded like a bullfrog.
No one recognized me anymore.
I was no longer the Kid.
Just Billy.
So, just now, when you said
my full name
[sighs] I almost cried.
[melancholy music playing]
I've I've been doubting myself lately.
I have asthma and a bunch
of other weird stuff.
I was released for good behavior.
[sobbing] And I fell in love.
And then I filed a complaint
for the horse.
I filed a complaint.
[crying]
[Luke sighs]
[patting]
[bird cawing]
[Luke] It's time.
- First Dogson, then Scavenger Mary.
- [rattling]
You two stay here.
Luke.
Luke, where are you going?
I'm gonna run for mayor.
We'll need everybody to beat him.
That's how we'll get Mary out of jail.
Why don't we just shoot 'em all?
Hey, my mom's in danger.
Do you wanna save her or not?
Do you? Do you wanna save her?
When you provoke people,
when you steal things,
when you act before thinking?
The truth is you're not trying
to save her.
You're pretending to be a cowboy.
So let me do what I have to do,
and you, you listen to me,
and you find a way to get rid of him.
Citizens, today is a great day
for our beautiful democracy
to fully and freely express itself.
Let us rejoice in this wonderful
opportunity you've been given
to anonymously cast your vote for me.
[chuckles]
However, should anyone wish
to initiate a debate,
they may come forward
and join me on stage.
[apprehensive music playing]
I'd like to initiate a debate.
[all murmuring indistinctly]
And I think I'll initiate it
from right here.
Go ahead.
[clears throat]
- Citizens of--
- Speak up, sir. We can't hear you.
[laughs] But please, continue.
[chuckles nervously]
- Citizens of Of Maf--
- And citizenesses!
[Doug] That's right, of Mafia Town.
Exactly.
Go on. [snickers]
- [bird screeches]
- [dogs barking nearby]
Billy?
I wanted to tell you that I--
Well, I love you, too.
No, that's not it.
I wanted to say I'm sorry
for running off like that.
Oh.
Did you find my note?
"Sorry about the horse.
"Sorry about the wedding."
This is the worst goodbye note
ever written.
The thing is, I'm looking for my mom.
She was kidnapped.
I don't even know if she's still alive.
[wistful music playing]
Every second that goes by,
she's a step farther from me.
Waiting around makes me wanna scream.
And so I took your horse.
And what does that look like, a mom?
Because I didn't really get to know mine.
I don't know other moms, I only know mine
And mine is
[dreamy music playing]
[chuckles]
Billy, wanna go stick up someone with me?
[both chuckle]
[tense music playing]
[Doug] That's a bunch of nonsense.
I'd like to point out
that my opponent's speaking time
has almost run out.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I only have one thing to--
- [tense music intensifies]
- [people outside shouting indistinctly]
One thing to say
[hesitates] which is--
[guitar strings hitting out of tune]
[Doug] In the face of such eloquence
[tense music continues]
- let's vote!
- No, you can't vote yet.
[Doug] Step right up and cast your vote
for Doug Dogson.
That's right.
Keep moving. Very good.
It's democracy in motion.
[intense music playing]
[clicks]
[inhaling and exhaling]
How's your asthma attack? Is it finished?
Yeah, but I wanted to rob someone
not free the competition.
- Okay, let's go on three. One, two--
- Wait, hang on a second.
- On three or on 13? 13 is not bad.
- [footsteps approaching]
- It gives us time--
- What are you two doing?
I told you to stay and get rid of him.
Get rid of who? Let me do that.
[Louise] What about you.
Weren't you supposed to win the election?
- So?
- [Luke] So, change of plans.
How many are there inside?
- Hmm?
- [sighs]
- [chuckles]
- [clicks tongue] Move.
[stirring music continues]
[chattering indistinctly]
[exhales]
[stirring music intensifies]
[revolver cocks]
[gun firing]
- [bullet ricocheting]
- [man 1 screams]
- [bullet continues ricocheting]
- [man 2 groans, thuds]
- [thudding continues]
- [man 3 groans]
- [man 4 screams, thuds]
- [object clattering stops]
[upbeat valiant music playing]
Wow, you Lucky-Luked them.
[Mary] Lucky Luke?
- You're freeing us?
- [Luke] Hi, Mary.
The others are in the back.
You take care of her.
- [valiant music ends]
- [sighs]
We figured if we knocked her out,
she'd be easier to carry.
Oh, you mean as opposed to
when she's awake and walking?
- [dog barking in distance]
- Hmm?
Hey, it's my first jailbreak.
And Calamity Jane always knocks out
the people she kidnaps.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Maybe she doesn't need to make them talk.
[clicks tongue]
[Luke sighs]
- Guess she's dead.
- No, look, she's breathing.
- You can be dead and be breathing.
- Sure.
Okay. And the prisoners, what about them?
They locked themselves in their cell.
They're too scared of Dogson.
Okay. So even free, they're not free.
- We have to stop Dogson.
- What about my mom?
- The point is to save my mom.
- Okay, so what do you wanna do?
- Wanna knock her out again to wake her up?
- Mmm. [chuckles]
Okay, Billy
[sighs]
What?
- Uh, we're gonna need your help.
- Yes!
[grunts and laughs heartily]
I'm sorry.
[exhilarating music playing]
[footsteps approaching]
[Luke] Money. Bags.
- [guns cock]
- Two minutes.
[gasps]
Nice. Direct, not too many words,
so he can't recognize you, Luke.
[man] Lucky Luke?
- Never heard of him.
- Have you become a desperado?
[Louise] No. But you're becoming annoying.
[man] Everybody stay calm.
I'll get the money.
[Billy] That was a good bank robbery line.
Two thirty-three, 234.
235 out of 235 votes.
Doug Dogson wins by an absolute,
absolute majority.
- [all cheering and applauding]
- Yay!
Thank you. Thank you very much,
my friends.
I would like to applaud my opponent
for his vain attempt to
Where did that little weasel go?
Find him.
[tense music playing]
[Luke] Perfect.
Now, keep it loose in the hips.
- [tense music intensifies]
- One, two, three, four--
[gun cocks]
Would you kindly turn around, Luke?
- Real slow.
- [apprehensive music playing]
[gun whooshes]
[Luke] Would you kindly
look in your holster?
You're fast, Luke.
- [cork squeaks]
- [alcohol sloshes]
[upbeat music playing]
[Luke] Can I buy you a drink?
A dollar won't even buy you
a shot of whiskey here.
Well, the dollar's not to buy you a drink,
it's to buy your bar.
Hey, did you guys hear what he just said?
[all laughing]
Yeah, I might be a bit short,
but that's normal.
'Cause I bought your horses,
all your weapons, and all your men.
I even bought new teeth for one of 'em.
You're all alone, Doug.
And where did you find the money for this?
I went to your bank.
- [grunts]
- [guns cock]
Like he said. We bought all your weapons.
I'll report you to the county,
to the state, to the Supreme Court.
You're a bunch of crooks!
You're thieves.
- You're a bunch of crooks!
- [door rattles]
[shouting indistinctly]
[cheerful music playing]
Come and get your foreclosures!
[people cheering]
[sighs]
Thank you.
Wait, what?
You're welcome.
I mean, it's kind of
It's new to me to hear that.
- I like it.
- [chuckles politely]
He's right. Thank you.
No, wait. Don't let go.
Oh. I wanna thank you, too.
You don't like thank you too much, do you?
I usually leave before that.
We're already late. Let's go.
- The three of us?
- No way.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We're not taking him with us.
Look how cute he is.
There, all by his lonesome.
Under one condition.
You're responsible for him.
- You won't even notice him.
- I won't feed him.
- I won't clean up after him.
- Mmm-hmm.
It's funny. It sounds like you're talking
about a puppy. [chuckles]
- Pardon?
- Hey, I don't mind at all.
I'm flattered.
[chuckles]
[sighs]
Thanks for getting me out of jail.
But as for your claim,
I'm sure it's some kind of judicial error.
That bracelet belongs to my mom.
- Huh.
- You stole it from her.
No, I found the beads on the ground.
On top of it, the string is mine,
you know.
I found your feather on my front porch.
- [sighs]
- Mary?
[sighs] Okay, you're right.
I was scavenging in the area.
I heard a gunshot and yelling,
and by the time I got there,
I saw a stagecoach
pulling away with a woman bound inside.
That's when I saw the bead on the porch.
You didn't go into the house?
No, 'cause there was
a trail of beads on the road.
She was dropping them to be rescued.
Well, I was doing my job as an outlaw
and followed them all the way
to the frickin' boonies.
But that's where I saw
the stagecoach again.
It was stopped. Halted.
- That's a good thing, right?
- Eh, it's not that great, really.
- A gang of bandits was robbing it.
- Which bandits?
- [tense music playing]
- [horse neighs in distance]
[gun fires in distance]
[sighs]
They were dressed in yellow and black,
and they were four.
[curious music playing]