Sanditon (2019) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
1 BIRDS CRY OVERHEAD GASPING BELL RINGING, PEOPLE CHATTERING MAN: Morning.
Fine, bracing day.
I think Sanditon has the healthiest breezes of any seaside town in England.
What do you think, Charlotte? I think if we were anywhere else we could call it a gale, sir.
Exactly, exactly.
But we have no gales here.
Gales are not permitted to blow in Sanditon, are they? Well said.
You see, my dear, I have made a convert.
Ah, Mrs Griffiths and her charges.
They made a charming debut at the ball last night.
And there's Lady Denham.
She certainly enjoyed it, too.
Morning.
Morning.
Miss Heywood.
Looking very well, if I may say so.
Good morning.
It seems you have gone backwards in Miss Heywood's estimation, Edward.
Clara has been spreading false rumours about me, I fear.
"Consider the lilies of the field.
"They toil not, neither do they spin.
" A young lady, I often think, is like a flower.
And looking around me this morning, I see many lovely young ladies.
As it were, lilies of the fields of Sanditon.
There are some lovely English roses.
Pink and white.
And I see among us today one or two more exotic blooms.
And, yes, friends, there is room for them, too, in the garden of the Lord.
And I say unto all you young ladies, you fulfil Jesus's will by simply blossoming .
.
and readying yourselves for the day when you shall be plucked.
You shall Yes.
And now to God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost.
Amen.
Thank you, Mr Hankins.
What a charming sermon.
Thank you, Mrs Griffiths.
And should your young charges need any spiritual guidance, please do not hesitate.
How very kind of you, Vicar.
Good day.
Good day.
What did you think of Mr Hankins' address, Charlotte? I didn't care for it.
I would rather be a toiler and a spinner than a lily of the field.
Why should not young gentlemen be lilies of the field? Hm? That would suit me very well.
I think I could blossom and be admired with the best of them.
Very well.
I will toil and you can blossom.
Each to his own.
As long as there's plenty of buttered toast and port wine, though.
More damn bills.
Miss Heywood's behaviour was very strange this morning.
What did happen with Clara Brereton, Edward? Clearly something's gone wrong there.
I can hardly bring myself to speak of it.
But you will, Edward.
Come, it was your job to seduce her and disgrace her.
She proved too much for me, Esther.
She resisted you? That's only to be expected.
You should have pressed your point to her.
She pre-empted me.
How? She took me in hand.
And quite undid me.
Edward I was as shocked as you.
She is no novice, I can assure you of that.
And when I looked over her shoulder What? Miss Heywood was observing us.
I don't believe she understood what she had seen.
But she was clearly distressed.
Edward, what have you done? Do you realise you could have ruined our prospects? I would like to know what you would have done, under the circumstances.
You were thoroughly outplayed.
She can hardly blacken your character to Lady Denham without blackening her own.
I will deal with her.
CHATTERING Have you a box for Lady Denham? Aye, this one here.
Ooh! Have a care there.
Why, what's in it? I don't know.
But whatever it is, Lady Denham sets great store by it.
What is it, a bomb? CHUCKLES My poor child.
Such ignorance.
Born of poverty and deprivation.
Why, it brings a tear to my eye.
No, my dear.
This is a pineapple.
A rare and exotic fruit cultivated expressly for me by an old friend at the Chelsea Physic Garden.
It will form the centrepiece at my luncheon party.
Luncheon party? What a delightful idea! But then you are always thinking of bringing pleasure to others.
Yes, I know.
And though it is rather an extravagance, I thought we might make an exception to welcome Miss Lambe to our little community.
A luncheon party for Miss Lambe? Mm.
Miss Lambe will be the guest of honour wherever she goes.
No matter where she's from.
"Lady Denham requests your attendance at a luncheon party "and pineapple tasting in honour of Miss Lambe.
" That sounds very grand indeed.
And quite uncharacteristic of Lady Denham.
I wonder what she's up to.
Miss Lambe is a prize well worth the winning.
You will be seated next to her.
And you will present yourself as a serious and eligible suitor.
You are an English baronet of impeccable family.
I am well aware that you have so far frittered away these advantages and used them in pursuit of petty conquests and the sowing of wild oats.
No, no.
Really, you misjudge me.
I do not.
I trust you do understand the difference between the arts of courtship and seduction? I hope I do.
You'd better.
If you don't win her hand, I will be very disappointed in you.
And you don't want to fall out of favour with me, do you? No, Aunt.
You have your work cut out for you.
Once you've secured her hand in marriage, you can tomcat around to your heart's content.
Perhaps our aunt has a point.
Miss Lambe is very rich.
Where is this confounded thing? Ah, Charlotte, there you are.
I came to see if I could be of any assistance.
Bills, invoices, plans, memoranda.
Let me sort them for you.
Would you? I'd be eternally grateful.
I keep meaning to engage an assistant.
Perhaps I could be that assistant.
You see, if we could separate these papers into piles.
Income, expenses, rental payments, bills and so on.
You have an eye for this sort of work, I can see.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Yes.
The future of Sanditon when it's complete.
This will be the square, the promenade along the beachfront.
New shops.
That will be the new terrace.
You approve? Most heartily.
Who's the architect? Myself.
That is to say, er, I use Hargreaves' Catalogue Of Plans.
Look, here.
At first, I'd take the design straight out of the book.
And now I've grown in confidence, I adapt them to suit my taste.
Choose a little of this, a little of that.
Talk it through with my foreman and off we go.
Would you like to see it taking shape? Very much.
Excellent.
Good.
TOM: Yes, very good.
And what of the facade? STRINGER: We're making progress, sir.
And the interiors? The structure should be more than sound by now.
Have you made sense of the latest designs? They are most ambitious.
Yes, yes, excellent.
What do you think, Miss Heywood? I think it's a splendid enterprise, sir.
And only the best materials, of course.
No timber here, except red pine and oak.
With Welsh slate and Cornish stone for the roofs and frontages? Did you hear that, young Stringer? We have a lady architect amongst us.
I've been trying to persuade my father to refurbish his tenants' cottages along modern lines.
Am I right in thinking there'll have to be different roof levels? Aye, miss.
Different roof levels.
And these all? Draw the eye down the hill towards the vista of the sea.
Exactly, miss.
Yes.
Yes, that was my idea, you know.
Was it not? Indeed it was, sir.
Ah, here's my brother and his friends.
Sidney! Gentlemen.
We just came to have a last look before we head to London, Tom.
But we counted on your staying until at least the end of the week.
Lady Denham's luncheon.
Has no need for my presence.
Sidney, I need you here.
And your friends have not yet seen enough to appreciate the town's delights.
You were to persuade your friends to take houses for the season.
You know I'm relying on your associations with fashionable society.
And what of your young ward? My young ward? She will soon settle.
I have a life, Tom, many obligations you know nothing of.
A couple of days, man.
Very well.
A couple of days.
I'll talk them round.
Mr Parker, may I have a word? Our conversation at the party.
I expressed myself badly and I fear you misunderstood me.
I didn't mean to disparage your brother or to offend you.
Indeed, I have the greatest admiration for what you and he are doing here in Sanditon.
You were right to rebuke me and, indeed, I am sorry.
I hope you won't think too badly of me.
Think too badly of you? I don't think of you at all, Miss Heywood.
I have no interest in your approval or disapproval.
Quite simply, I don't care what you think or how you feel.
I'm sorry if that disappoints you, but there it is.
Have I made myself clear? Only, if you really don't care, I wonder that you take the trouble to be quite so offensive and hurtful.
Good day.
It's one of those fellows Sidney Parker brought from London.
Oh, Babington.
We met at the ball.
I wondered when he'd come sniffing around.
Lord Babington, ma'am.
Send him up.
I was just passing, you know, and I thought I might call upon you.
Did you? Mm.
You are looking .
.
uncommonly well.
If I may say so.
You may.
And your hair, if I might be so bold, has such a glossy sheen on it.
There.
You see, Edward? Your efforts were not in vain.
Your brother tends to your hair? Stepbrother.
His father married my mother when we were young.
And, yes, he does.
Well, that is a commission I should happily undertake.
Not a chance, Lord Babington.
Shall I have the pleasure of seeing you at Lady Denham's luncheon party? I suppose.
Well till tomorrow, then.
Oh, Miss Denham? I shan't be put off, you know.
Has he gone? Oh, how I hate your sex.
MRS GRIFFITHS: Miss Lambe? Georgiana? Will you come out? I will not! DOOR RATTLES SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMEN Yes, Parker! Put both shillings on Mr Parker! GRUNTING Yes! Yes! Mr Parker! CHEERING MAN: That challenge goes to Mr Parker! What is it? I am not your slave.
Nobody said you were, but apparently you have to attend.
You're Lady Denham's guest of honour.
To be gawped at and served up for the general amusement.
"Here we have the pineapple and here we have the negress.
"Feast your eyes!" Georgiana, you know that you're worth far more than Lady Denham and all her circle put together.
Yes.
The heiress from the West Indies, rich and black as treacle! Hold her upside down and shake her.
Hear the sovereigns jingle, 100,000! Stop talking nonsense! This is what your father wanted, for you to take your place in polite society.
What about what I want? I'm afraid what you want is neither here nor there.
You have taken me from the one thing that I love.
If you only knew how much I hate this miserable chilly island.
Out.
SIGHS Georgiana.
I can do nothing about the climate.
But as for the rest .
.
you'll just have to trust me.
Courage, Arthur.
Think of the pineapple.
If I can manage it, so can you.
Do you know, the fellows with the sedan chair refused to carry me.
They said I was over the weight limit.
HOOVES APPROACHING Infernal insolence.
As you well know, I'm practically wasting away.
Good God.
I say! Could you possibly take us with you? Can't stop, Arthur.
Save you a seat, Parker! LAUGHTER That wasn't very brotherly.
No.
I swear, the house has grown in size since I was last here.
SOOTHING CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS MURMUR OF CONVERSATIONS TOM: Excellent, excellent.
This is very good of you, Lady Denham.
Very generous and hospitable, to be sure.
And here we all are, waiting for the guest of honour to deign to make an appearance.
I'm sure it's no fault of hers, Lady Denham.
You're looking remarkably well today.
You've no need to butter me up.
And Miss Brereton, too.
What a pretty dress.
Clara.
I told you to stay Mr Arthur Parker and Miss Diana Parker.
Wine.
Wine! Thank you.
I really thought I was about to expire.
And poor Arthur has such a delicate constitution, you know.
But duty calls.
Lady Denham.
You'd think they'd walked from Inverness.
Thank you, thank you.
I I think I shall pull through.
Right.
What a fool that young man is.
Mrs Griffiths, Mrs Beaufort and Miss Lambe.
Edward.
There's your quarry.
Hunt her down.
Lady Denham.
Good day, good day.
So sorry to be late, Lady Denham.
Better late than never.
Slightly better.
Miss Lambe, finally.
Shall we go through to the dining room? Lord Babington.
An honour, Lady Denham.
Miss Lambe, may I have the pleasure? You can stop playing the injured innocent.
My brother told me exactly what happened the other day.
Lady Denham would be surprised to hear about your little whore's tricks.
Where did you learn them, I wonder.
From a man even more depraved than your brother, when I was too young to know a prick from a pencil.
You and I should not be enemies, Miss Denham.
How can we be otherwise when we are competing for the same thing? Money? What else? MURMUR OF CONVERSATIONS LAUGHTER MAN: Excellent, Lady Denham.
A pineapple! That really is the height of fashion.
I thought it might remind you of home, Miss Lambe.
Antigua, was it not? Or some such place.
That ain't no Antigua black.
Me tink you been sold a pup, Lady Denham.
Someone done took you for a fool.
Well, of course, I know this particular fruit was not grown in Antigua.
It was specially cultivated, under glass here in England.
And it is here in your honour, as a mark of respect for your heritage.
Do you understand that? Georgiana.
Of course I do.
I was just pulling your leg.
But in trut', it ain't no Antigua black.
Georgiana, that's enough.
I think you've made your point.
ARTHUR LAUGHS Jolly good.
Well done, Miss Lambe.
Please take your seats.
Edward? Miss Lambe.
MURMUR OF CONVERSATIONS What a very great pleasure it is to be seated next to you, Miss Lambe.
Is it? Why? Well, erm, you know, your, erm your beauty.
Your fascinating background.
And my money.
I imagine that's what you're after.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
Tell me, how do you like Sanditon? For God's sake.
Is that the best you can do? Who is your favourite poet? So, Miss Heywood, any observations on the assembled company? As you have no interest in my opinion, I shan't trouble you with it, Mr Parker.
I'm sure you have one.
Come, share it with me.
Not for the world.
I've endured two tongue lashings from you and I won't court a third.
Save your unpleasantness for someone else.
Or better still, why not try to be civil? Well said.
Perhaps I might.
But not with me, pray.
Mr Crowe, how do you rate Sanditon's chances of succeeding? Miss Lambe, what are your views on matrimony? An heiress with 100,000 must be in want of a husband, I think.
I don't care to be any man's property Lady Denham.
SCOFFS Hoity-toity.
I should have thought someone like you would be quite used to being a man's property.
Was not your mother a slave? CONVERSATIONS FALL SILEN She was.
But being used to a thing and liking it are not the same, my lady.
Oh.
I'm beginning to think you're a very opinionated young lady, Miss Lambe.
What do you think, Miss Heywood? I know young ladies are not expected to have opinions, Lady Denham.
But I think that Miss Lambe is quite right to value her independence, just as you do yours.
Don't you agree, Mr Parker? Miss Lambe is aware of my position on the matter.
No answer from Mr Sidney.
And you, miss, are you still keeping up the pretence that you are not in Sanditon in search of a wealthy man to marry and to keep you? LAUGHS Indeed I am not, ma'am.
I have no thoughts of marriage at all.
And if I were to choose a husband, wealth would not come into it.
Poppycock.
Should not be a good marriage be based on mutual love and affection? Without equality of affection, marriage can become a kind of slavery.
Or an escape from it.
CHUCKLES Miss Lambe's mother would be a case in point.
A pretty young negress catches the master's eye, casts her spell on him.
That's the way the world works.
Ain't it, Miss Lambe? And now here you are, with your 100,000.
A rich prize for any young fellow with a title and a leaky roof.
So, what do you say to Sir Edward? Would you and he not make a pretty match? Really, Aunt You seem incapable of furthering your own interests.
How about it, Miss Lambe? We ain't suited, Lady Denham.
CHUCKLES Good for you.
Well said, Miss Lambe.
"We ain't suited.
" LAUGHS Very good.
May I cut you a slice of pineapple? Mr Parker.
Mr Parker, the pineapple is not yours to cut! Mr Parker! I Mr Parker, would you please put that knife down.
GASPS What's the matter? It's rotten, Lady Denham.
Rotten to the core.
ALL GASP WOMAN: It's alive! MAN: Don't worry, my dear, I'm sure it can be saved.
Mr Parker! No, not you.
Mr Tom Parker.
I want a word with you.
And the rest of you can clear off.
Did you mark that insolent girl? I think that she may have felt offended by some of your remarks.
Am I not permitted to speak my own mind in my own house? And that other girl, Miss Heywood! YOUR guest, Mr Parker.
Too outspoken! And as for your boorish brother Stirring them up, encouraging them.
And then he has the effrontery to handle my pineapple.
I'm afraid I can't be held responsible for my brother's behaviour, Lady Denham.
He is his own man.
He is what he is.
Well, think on this.
I am my own woman.
And I have a good mind to withdraw my entire investment from the Sanditon venture.
I beg you not to consider that.
Without your contribution, we would be in dire straits.
I am very displeased.
I am very displeased indeed! I feel it is my fault.
At least in part.
I felt I had to defend Miss Lambe and nobody else was ready to speak for her.
Except your brother, Arthur.
Lady D is very angry with him as well.
And not so much for anything he said, but for the for the disrespectful manner in which he handled her pineapple.
ALL LAUGH She is an appalling old woman.
But she holds the fate of Sanditon in her hands.
That's the problem.
I couldn't forgive myself if I've put your great project in danger.
I will go and beg her pardon.
My dear Charlotte Really, Charlotte I don't mind.
I will go tomorrow morning.
Goodnight.
BELL CHIMES Good morning.
And what brings you here? The way I conducted myself at your luncheon was regrettable.
And so I humbly beg your pardon, Lady Denham.
Mr Tom Parker made you come, no doubt.
No.
Indeed, ma'am, I came of my own will.
Really? You expect me to believe that? Whether you do or not, it is the truth, ma'am.
Huh! You just can't help it, can you? Help what? Speaking your mind, standing up for yourself.
CHUCKLES What's to be done with you? I am truly very sorry if I offend you, ma'am.
You don't offend me, you amuse me.
I like to tease and provoke.
I expect you thought I was too hard on that young woman yesterday.
But she gave as good as she got, did she not? Come on, Miss Heywood, answer me.
I do think you were very impolite to Miss Lambe.
I gave a luncheon in her honour.
You made a spectacle of her.
You didn't consider what her feelings might be.
Far from home, amongst strangers It was unkind of you.
She has 100,000 to comfort her.
I only speak the simple truth.
What? You insisted on hearing my honest opinion, ma'am.
So I did.
And if I don't like it, it's no-one's fault but my own, you imply.
Well, off you go.
You got what you came for.
And you can tell Mr Tom Parker he has nothing to fear from me.
For now.
If you please, is this the coach for London? It is, miss.
Then may I board it now? Indeed you may, miss, for six shillings.
No-one here's got any objections, have they? I I have no money on my person, I am not in the habit of carrying any.
LAUGHTER Not in the habit? Go on, off you trot.
Please, my banker in London will make sure you're paid.
Banker in London, is it (?) Now I have heard everything! Do you not know who I am? No, I don't.
Who are you? I am Miss Lambe, I am an heiress.
I have £100,000.
Six shillings will do, miss.
Don't you understand? I have to get to London.
Excuse me! Get off! JEERING AND SHOUTING VIOLIN PLAYS JAUNTY TUNE HUBBUB OF CONVERSATIONS How's your pursuit of Miss Denham progressing, then, Babington? Very well.
She professes she wants nothing to do with me.
She's deliciously disdainful.
Saucy bitch.
And you, a peer of the realm.
LAUGHTER I love it.
So, how long before you, er, bring her to heel? "Bring her to heel"? She's not a dog, Crowe, she's a young lady.
She needs to be mastered.
Mind you, I like a bit of spirit in a girl.
Little Miss Heywood, for example.
She's got a bit of spunk about her.
Or Miss Lambe.
The way she stood up to that old witch yesterday, you can tell she'd be a lively handful in bed.
GLASSES RATTLE Don't even think about it, Crowe.
There's no need to take that tone.
I was only saying.
I mean it.
All right.
Understood.
CLEARS THROA But if a fellow might ask without having his head bit off, what's your history with her? I am simply her guardian until she comes of age.
Not a job I wanted and I'm finding it damned irksome.
The girl misses her homeland, hates the climate here And she doesn't care for you.
Pretty much takes exception to everything I say or do.
Still, she's safer here than she is in London.
Anything can happen, though.
Anything can happen anywhere.
True.
Let's have another bottle, hm? Yes.
Bottle! And raise the stakes, shall we? Yes.
BIRDS CRY OVERHEAD Hello? Miss Lambe? Are you all right? Miss Lambe? Miss Lambe? It's me.
Charlotte Heywood.
We met at Lady Denham's.
What is it? What's the matter? QUIET SOBBING It's all right, Esther, I would never have gone through with Miss Lambe, even if she liked me.
We have to dislodge that little interloper Clara Brereton.
She's determined to discredit us.
I just wish this would end.
Believe me, so do I.
And when we have the money, it will.
I think it must be very difficult for you.
I feel something of it myself.
I'm a stranger here, too.
But people don't look at you the way they look at me.
No.
But people do wish you well.
Mr Arthur Parker.
He's a funny man.
But very kind-hearted, I think.
And his brother Sidney.
He's your guardian, isn't he? He doesn't relish that role.
Nor do I.
But being in possession of a fortune means I must be managed.
I'm sure he regards me as an infernal nuisance.
If it's any consolation, I find him very impolite.
And cold, too.
Do you think me very spoilt and sulky? Not at all.
After what you had to endure at Lady Denham's She's a horrid old woman.
She can be.
But I think she means no real harm.
I wanted to stuff her rotten pineapple down her throat.
BOTH LAUGH We can survive this, Miss Lambe.
Georgiana.
Charlotte.
BOTH LAUGH # A man is oppressed with care # The mist is dispelled When a woman appears # By the notes of a fiddle She sweetly, sweetly # Raises our spirits And charms our ears # Ah, the great projector himself.
Mr Parker.
If I might have a word with you, Sidney.
Of course.
Come on, sit down.
Join us, have a drink.
In private.
We'll go and join the young ladies over there.
My apologies.
Well, what is it? I'm anxious to know what progress you've made.
In what direction? TOM LAUGHS Why, in securing tenants for our enterprise, of course.
YOUR enterprise, Tom.
From which you stand to profit richly.
If it succeeds.
You know I depend on your connections.
And when I see you do nothing but carouse Easy, brother, easy.
Men like Babington and Crowe, they can't be bullied into staying, they have to be jollied into it.
You know that.
Sidney I'm beset with worries.
The workmen need paying.
Lady Denham is threatening to withdraw her investment.
I'm at my wit's end.
She has it in her power to ruin me.
While you All right, all right.
Enough.
The promotion of Sanditon is a very delicate business which I'm sure you truly understand.
But I am trying my best for you.
Truly.
That is all I ask, brother.
And I'm sorry to have interrupted your pleasure.
Work, man.
This is how I work.
If you say so.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
If you'll excuse me, I think I need some fresh air and bracing exercise.
Enjoy your rest.
You can exercise indoors, you know.
Good afternoon, Miss Heywood.
It is, Mr Stringer.
It is.
Let's go and paddle.
Come on! I dare you.
Come on, it's fine! Good for you, come on.
BOTH SHRIEK AND LAUGH It's freezing! Miss Lambe! My keeper.
Come here! Where have you been? Where have you been? GIRLS GIGGLING This is most irresponsible of you.
Mrs Griffiths, forgive me.
Paddling in the sea was all my idea.
Don't blame Georgiana.
Come home at once.
Georgiana.
I am surprised at you.
Anyone could have seen you! Bare-legged with your skirts up! At least I was enjoying myself for the first time since I came here.
Enough.
Proceed.
Come along.
GIRLS CONTINUE TO GIGGLE Stop sniggering.
Goodness me, come along! I thought you'd set sail for home.
Here's my parasol? Oh! Move along.
GASPS Oh Miss Heywood.
Am I never to get away from you? Mr Parker, I assure you you're the last person I wish to see.
Yes.
You're right, I spoke out of turn.
Forgive me.
Of course.
Excuse me.
PANTING
Fine, bracing day.
I think Sanditon has the healthiest breezes of any seaside town in England.
What do you think, Charlotte? I think if we were anywhere else we could call it a gale, sir.
Exactly, exactly.
But we have no gales here.
Gales are not permitted to blow in Sanditon, are they? Well said.
You see, my dear, I have made a convert.
Ah, Mrs Griffiths and her charges.
They made a charming debut at the ball last night.
And there's Lady Denham.
She certainly enjoyed it, too.
Morning.
Morning.
Miss Heywood.
Looking very well, if I may say so.
Good morning.
It seems you have gone backwards in Miss Heywood's estimation, Edward.
Clara has been spreading false rumours about me, I fear.
"Consider the lilies of the field.
"They toil not, neither do they spin.
" A young lady, I often think, is like a flower.
And looking around me this morning, I see many lovely young ladies.
As it were, lilies of the fields of Sanditon.
There are some lovely English roses.
Pink and white.
And I see among us today one or two more exotic blooms.
And, yes, friends, there is room for them, too, in the garden of the Lord.
And I say unto all you young ladies, you fulfil Jesus's will by simply blossoming .
.
and readying yourselves for the day when you shall be plucked.
You shall Yes.
And now to God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost.
Amen.
Thank you, Mr Hankins.
What a charming sermon.
Thank you, Mrs Griffiths.
And should your young charges need any spiritual guidance, please do not hesitate.
How very kind of you, Vicar.
Good day.
Good day.
What did you think of Mr Hankins' address, Charlotte? I didn't care for it.
I would rather be a toiler and a spinner than a lily of the field.
Why should not young gentlemen be lilies of the field? Hm? That would suit me very well.
I think I could blossom and be admired with the best of them.
Very well.
I will toil and you can blossom.
Each to his own.
As long as there's plenty of buttered toast and port wine, though.
More damn bills.
Miss Heywood's behaviour was very strange this morning.
What did happen with Clara Brereton, Edward? Clearly something's gone wrong there.
I can hardly bring myself to speak of it.
But you will, Edward.
Come, it was your job to seduce her and disgrace her.
She proved too much for me, Esther.
She resisted you? That's only to be expected.
You should have pressed your point to her.
She pre-empted me.
How? She took me in hand.
And quite undid me.
Edward I was as shocked as you.
She is no novice, I can assure you of that.
And when I looked over her shoulder What? Miss Heywood was observing us.
I don't believe she understood what she had seen.
But she was clearly distressed.
Edward, what have you done? Do you realise you could have ruined our prospects? I would like to know what you would have done, under the circumstances.
You were thoroughly outplayed.
She can hardly blacken your character to Lady Denham without blackening her own.
I will deal with her.
CHATTERING Have you a box for Lady Denham? Aye, this one here.
Ooh! Have a care there.
Why, what's in it? I don't know.
But whatever it is, Lady Denham sets great store by it.
What is it, a bomb? CHUCKLES My poor child.
Such ignorance.
Born of poverty and deprivation.
Why, it brings a tear to my eye.
No, my dear.
This is a pineapple.
A rare and exotic fruit cultivated expressly for me by an old friend at the Chelsea Physic Garden.
It will form the centrepiece at my luncheon party.
Luncheon party? What a delightful idea! But then you are always thinking of bringing pleasure to others.
Yes, I know.
And though it is rather an extravagance, I thought we might make an exception to welcome Miss Lambe to our little community.
A luncheon party for Miss Lambe? Mm.
Miss Lambe will be the guest of honour wherever she goes.
No matter where she's from.
"Lady Denham requests your attendance at a luncheon party "and pineapple tasting in honour of Miss Lambe.
" That sounds very grand indeed.
And quite uncharacteristic of Lady Denham.
I wonder what she's up to.
Miss Lambe is a prize well worth the winning.
You will be seated next to her.
And you will present yourself as a serious and eligible suitor.
You are an English baronet of impeccable family.
I am well aware that you have so far frittered away these advantages and used them in pursuit of petty conquests and the sowing of wild oats.
No, no.
Really, you misjudge me.
I do not.
I trust you do understand the difference between the arts of courtship and seduction? I hope I do.
You'd better.
If you don't win her hand, I will be very disappointed in you.
And you don't want to fall out of favour with me, do you? No, Aunt.
You have your work cut out for you.
Once you've secured her hand in marriage, you can tomcat around to your heart's content.
Perhaps our aunt has a point.
Miss Lambe is very rich.
Where is this confounded thing? Ah, Charlotte, there you are.
I came to see if I could be of any assistance.
Bills, invoices, plans, memoranda.
Let me sort them for you.
Would you? I'd be eternally grateful.
I keep meaning to engage an assistant.
Perhaps I could be that assistant.
You see, if we could separate these papers into piles.
Income, expenses, rental payments, bills and so on.
You have an eye for this sort of work, I can see.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Yes.
The future of Sanditon when it's complete.
This will be the square, the promenade along the beachfront.
New shops.
That will be the new terrace.
You approve? Most heartily.
Who's the architect? Myself.
That is to say, er, I use Hargreaves' Catalogue Of Plans.
Look, here.
At first, I'd take the design straight out of the book.
And now I've grown in confidence, I adapt them to suit my taste.
Choose a little of this, a little of that.
Talk it through with my foreman and off we go.
Would you like to see it taking shape? Very much.
Excellent.
Good.
TOM: Yes, very good.
And what of the facade? STRINGER: We're making progress, sir.
And the interiors? The structure should be more than sound by now.
Have you made sense of the latest designs? They are most ambitious.
Yes, yes, excellent.
What do you think, Miss Heywood? I think it's a splendid enterprise, sir.
And only the best materials, of course.
No timber here, except red pine and oak.
With Welsh slate and Cornish stone for the roofs and frontages? Did you hear that, young Stringer? We have a lady architect amongst us.
I've been trying to persuade my father to refurbish his tenants' cottages along modern lines.
Am I right in thinking there'll have to be different roof levels? Aye, miss.
Different roof levels.
And these all? Draw the eye down the hill towards the vista of the sea.
Exactly, miss.
Yes.
Yes, that was my idea, you know.
Was it not? Indeed it was, sir.
Ah, here's my brother and his friends.
Sidney! Gentlemen.
We just came to have a last look before we head to London, Tom.
But we counted on your staying until at least the end of the week.
Lady Denham's luncheon.
Has no need for my presence.
Sidney, I need you here.
And your friends have not yet seen enough to appreciate the town's delights.
You were to persuade your friends to take houses for the season.
You know I'm relying on your associations with fashionable society.
And what of your young ward? My young ward? She will soon settle.
I have a life, Tom, many obligations you know nothing of.
A couple of days, man.
Very well.
A couple of days.
I'll talk them round.
Mr Parker, may I have a word? Our conversation at the party.
I expressed myself badly and I fear you misunderstood me.
I didn't mean to disparage your brother or to offend you.
Indeed, I have the greatest admiration for what you and he are doing here in Sanditon.
You were right to rebuke me and, indeed, I am sorry.
I hope you won't think too badly of me.
Think too badly of you? I don't think of you at all, Miss Heywood.
I have no interest in your approval or disapproval.
Quite simply, I don't care what you think or how you feel.
I'm sorry if that disappoints you, but there it is.
Have I made myself clear? Only, if you really don't care, I wonder that you take the trouble to be quite so offensive and hurtful.
Good day.
It's one of those fellows Sidney Parker brought from London.
Oh, Babington.
We met at the ball.
I wondered when he'd come sniffing around.
Lord Babington, ma'am.
Send him up.
I was just passing, you know, and I thought I might call upon you.
Did you? Mm.
You are looking .
.
uncommonly well.
If I may say so.
You may.
And your hair, if I might be so bold, has such a glossy sheen on it.
There.
You see, Edward? Your efforts were not in vain.
Your brother tends to your hair? Stepbrother.
His father married my mother when we were young.
And, yes, he does.
Well, that is a commission I should happily undertake.
Not a chance, Lord Babington.
Shall I have the pleasure of seeing you at Lady Denham's luncheon party? I suppose.
Well till tomorrow, then.
Oh, Miss Denham? I shan't be put off, you know.
Has he gone? Oh, how I hate your sex.
MRS GRIFFITHS: Miss Lambe? Georgiana? Will you come out? I will not! DOOR RATTLES SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMEN Yes, Parker! Put both shillings on Mr Parker! GRUNTING Yes! Yes! Mr Parker! CHEERING MAN: That challenge goes to Mr Parker! What is it? I am not your slave.
Nobody said you were, but apparently you have to attend.
You're Lady Denham's guest of honour.
To be gawped at and served up for the general amusement.
"Here we have the pineapple and here we have the negress.
"Feast your eyes!" Georgiana, you know that you're worth far more than Lady Denham and all her circle put together.
Yes.
The heiress from the West Indies, rich and black as treacle! Hold her upside down and shake her.
Hear the sovereigns jingle, 100,000! Stop talking nonsense! This is what your father wanted, for you to take your place in polite society.
What about what I want? I'm afraid what you want is neither here nor there.
You have taken me from the one thing that I love.
If you only knew how much I hate this miserable chilly island.
Out.
SIGHS Georgiana.
I can do nothing about the climate.
But as for the rest .
.
you'll just have to trust me.
Courage, Arthur.
Think of the pineapple.
If I can manage it, so can you.
Do you know, the fellows with the sedan chair refused to carry me.
They said I was over the weight limit.
HOOVES APPROACHING Infernal insolence.
As you well know, I'm practically wasting away.
Good God.
I say! Could you possibly take us with you? Can't stop, Arthur.
Save you a seat, Parker! LAUGHTER That wasn't very brotherly.
No.
I swear, the house has grown in size since I was last here.
SOOTHING CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS MURMUR OF CONVERSATIONS TOM: Excellent, excellent.
This is very good of you, Lady Denham.
Very generous and hospitable, to be sure.
And here we all are, waiting for the guest of honour to deign to make an appearance.
I'm sure it's no fault of hers, Lady Denham.
You're looking remarkably well today.
You've no need to butter me up.
And Miss Brereton, too.
What a pretty dress.
Clara.
I told you to stay Mr Arthur Parker and Miss Diana Parker.
Wine.
Wine! Thank you.
I really thought I was about to expire.
And poor Arthur has such a delicate constitution, you know.
But duty calls.
Lady Denham.
You'd think they'd walked from Inverness.
Thank you, thank you.
I I think I shall pull through.
Right.
What a fool that young man is.
Mrs Griffiths, Mrs Beaufort and Miss Lambe.
Edward.
There's your quarry.
Hunt her down.
Lady Denham.
Good day, good day.
So sorry to be late, Lady Denham.
Better late than never.
Slightly better.
Miss Lambe, finally.
Shall we go through to the dining room? Lord Babington.
An honour, Lady Denham.
Miss Lambe, may I have the pleasure? You can stop playing the injured innocent.
My brother told me exactly what happened the other day.
Lady Denham would be surprised to hear about your little whore's tricks.
Where did you learn them, I wonder.
From a man even more depraved than your brother, when I was too young to know a prick from a pencil.
You and I should not be enemies, Miss Denham.
How can we be otherwise when we are competing for the same thing? Money? What else? MURMUR OF CONVERSATIONS LAUGHTER MAN: Excellent, Lady Denham.
A pineapple! That really is the height of fashion.
I thought it might remind you of home, Miss Lambe.
Antigua, was it not? Or some such place.
That ain't no Antigua black.
Me tink you been sold a pup, Lady Denham.
Someone done took you for a fool.
Well, of course, I know this particular fruit was not grown in Antigua.
It was specially cultivated, under glass here in England.
And it is here in your honour, as a mark of respect for your heritage.
Do you understand that? Georgiana.
Of course I do.
I was just pulling your leg.
But in trut', it ain't no Antigua black.
Georgiana, that's enough.
I think you've made your point.
ARTHUR LAUGHS Jolly good.
Well done, Miss Lambe.
Please take your seats.
Edward? Miss Lambe.
MURMUR OF CONVERSATIONS What a very great pleasure it is to be seated next to you, Miss Lambe.
Is it? Why? Well, erm, you know, your, erm your beauty.
Your fascinating background.
And my money.
I imagine that's what you're after.
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
Tell me, how do you like Sanditon? For God's sake.
Is that the best you can do? Who is your favourite poet? So, Miss Heywood, any observations on the assembled company? As you have no interest in my opinion, I shan't trouble you with it, Mr Parker.
I'm sure you have one.
Come, share it with me.
Not for the world.
I've endured two tongue lashings from you and I won't court a third.
Save your unpleasantness for someone else.
Or better still, why not try to be civil? Well said.
Perhaps I might.
But not with me, pray.
Mr Crowe, how do you rate Sanditon's chances of succeeding? Miss Lambe, what are your views on matrimony? An heiress with 100,000 must be in want of a husband, I think.
I don't care to be any man's property Lady Denham.
SCOFFS Hoity-toity.
I should have thought someone like you would be quite used to being a man's property.
Was not your mother a slave? CONVERSATIONS FALL SILEN She was.
But being used to a thing and liking it are not the same, my lady.
Oh.
I'm beginning to think you're a very opinionated young lady, Miss Lambe.
What do you think, Miss Heywood? I know young ladies are not expected to have opinions, Lady Denham.
But I think that Miss Lambe is quite right to value her independence, just as you do yours.
Don't you agree, Mr Parker? Miss Lambe is aware of my position on the matter.
No answer from Mr Sidney.
And you, miss, are you still keeping up the pretence that you are not in Sanditon in search of a wealthy man to marry and to keep you? LAUGHS Indeed I am not, ma'am.
I have no thoughts of marriage at all.
And if I were to choose a husband, wealth would not come into it.
Poppycock.
Should not be a good marriage be based on mutual love and affection? Without equality of affection, marriage can become a kind of slavery.
Or an escape from it.
CHUCKLES Miss Lambe's mother would be a case in point.
A pretty young negress catches the master's eye, casts her spell on him.
That's the way the world works.
Ain't it, Miss Lambe? And now here you are, with your 100,000.
A rich prize for any young fellow with a title and a leaky roof.
So, what do you say to Sir Edward? Would you and he not make a pretty match? Really, Aunt You seem incapable of furthering your own interests.
How about it, Miss Lambe? We ain't suited, Lady Denham.
CHUCKLES Good for you.
Well said, Miss Lambe.
"We ain't suited.
" LAUGHS Very good.
May I cut you a slice of pineapple? Mr Parker.
Mr Parker, the pineapple is not yours to cut! Mr Parker! I Mr Parker, would you please put that knife down.
GASPS What's the matter? It's rotten, Lady Denham.
Rotten to the core.
ALL GASP WOMAN: It's alive! MAN: Don't worry, my dear, I'm sure it can be saved.
Mr Parker! No, not you.
Mr Tom Parker.
I want a word with you.
And the rest of you can clear off.
Did you mark that insolent girl? I think that she may have felt offended by some of your remarks.
Am I not permitted to speak my own mind in my own house? And that other girl, Miss Heywood! YOUR guest, Mr Parker.
Too outspoken! And as for your boorish brother Stirring them up, encouraging them.
And then he has the effrontery to handle my pineapple.
I'm afraid I can't be held responsible for my brother's behaviour, Lady Denham.
He is his own man.
He is what he is.
Well, think on this.
I am my own woman.
And I have a good mind to withdraw my entire investment from the Sanditon venture.
I beg you not to consider that.
Without your contribution, we would be in dire straits.
I am very displeased.
I am very displeased indeed! I feel it is my fault.
At least in part.
I felt I had to defend Miss Lambe and nobody else was ready to speak for her.
Except your brother, Arthur.
Lady D is very angry with him as well.
And not so much for anything he said, but for the for the disrespectful manner in which he handled her pineapple.
ALL LAUGH She is an appalling old woman.
But she holds the fate of Sanditon in her hands.
That's the problem.
I couldn't forgive myself if I've put your great project in danger.
I will go and beg her pardon.
My dear Charlotte Really, Charlotte I don't mind.
I will go tomorrow morning.
Goodnight.
BELL CHIMES Good morning.
And what brings you here? The way I conducted myself at your luncheon was regrettable.
And so I humbly beg your pardon, Lady Denham.
Mr Tom Parker made you come, no doubt.
No.
Indeed, ma'am, I came of my own will.
Really? You expect me to believe that? Whether you do or not, it is the truth, ma'am.
Huh! You just can't help it, can you? Help what? Speaking your mind, standing up for yourself.
CHUCKLES What's to be done with you? I am truly very sorry if I offend you, ma'am.
You don't offend me, you amuse me.
I like to tease and provoke.
I expect you thought I was too hard on that young woman yesterday.
But she gave as good as she got, did she not? Come on, Miss Heywood, answer me.
I do think you were very impolite to Miss Lambe.
I gave a luncheon in her honour.
You made a spectacle of her.
You didn't consider what her feelings might be.
Far from home, amongst strangers It was unkind of you.
She has 100,000 to comfort her.
I only speak the simple truth.
What? You insisted on hearing my honest opinion, ma'am.
So I did.
And if I don't like it, it's no-one's fault but my own, you imply.
Well, off you go.
You got what you came for.
And you can tell Mr Tom Parker he has nothing to fear from me.
For now.
If you please, is this the coach for London? It is, miss.
Then may I board it now? Indeed you may, miss, for six shillings.
No-one here's got any objections, have they? I I have no money on my person, I am not in the habit of carrying any.
LAUGHTER Not in the habit? Go on, off you trot.
Please, my banker in London will make sure you're paid.
Banker in London, is it (?) Now I have heard everything! Do you not know who I am? No, I don't.
Who are you? I am Miss Lambe, I am an heiress.
I have £100,000.
Six shillings will do, miss.
Don't you understand? I have to get to London.
Excuse me! Get off! JEERING AND SHOUTING VIOLIN PLAYS JAUNTY TUNE HUBBUB OF CONVERSATIONS How's your pursuit of Miss Denham progressing, then, Babington? Very well.
She professes she wants nothing to do with me.
She's deliciously disdainful.
Saucy bitch.
And you, a peer of the realm.
LAUGHTER I love it.
So, how long before you, er, bring her to heel? "Bring her to heel"? She's not a dog, Crowe, she's a young lady.
She needs to be mastered.
Mind you, I like a bit of spirit in a girl.
Little Miss Heywood, for example.
She's got a bit of spunk about her.
Or Miss Lambe.
The way she stood up to that old witch yesterday, you can tell she'd be a lively handful in bed.
GLASSES RATTLE Don't even think about it, Crowe.
There's no need to take that tone.
I was only saying.
I mean it.
All right.
Understood.
CLEARS THROA But if a fellow might ask without having his head bit off, what's your history with her? I am simply her guardian until she comes of age.
Not a job I wanted and I'm finding it damned irksome.
The girl misses her homeland, hates the climate here And she doesn't care for you.
Pretty much takes exception to everything I say or do.
Still, she's safer here than she is in London.
Anything can happen, though.
Anything can happen anywhere.
True.
Let's have another bottle, hm? Yes.
Bottle! And raise the stakes, shall we? Yes.
BIRDS CRY OVERHEAD Hello? Miss Lambe? Are you all right? Miss Lambe? Miss Lambe? It's me.
Charlotte Heywood.
We met at Lady Denham's.
What is it? What's the matter? QUIET SOBBING It's all right, Esther, I would never have gone through with Miss Lambe, even if she liked me.
We have to dislodge that little interloper Clara Brereton.
She's determined to discredit us.
I just wish this would end.
Believe me, so do I.
And when we have the money, it will.
I think it must be very difficult for you.
I feel something of it myself.
I'm a stranger here, too.
But people don't look at you the way they look at me.
No.
But people do wish you well.
Mr Arthur Parker.
He's a funny man.
But very kind-hearted, I think.
And his brother Sidney.
He's your guardian, isn't he? He doesn't relish that role.
Nor do I.
But being in possession of a fortune means I must be managed.
I'm sure he regards me as an infernal nuisance.
If it's any consolation, I find him very impolite.
And cold, too.
Do you think me very spoilt and sulky? Not at all.
After what you had to endure at Lady Denham's She's a horrid old woman.
She can be.
But I think she means no real harm.
I wanted to stuff her rotten pineapple down her throat.
BOTH LAUGH We can survive this, Miss Lambe.
Georgiana.
Charlotte.
BOTH LAUGH # A man is oppressed with care # The mist is dispelled When a woman appears # By the notes of a fiddle She sweetly, sweetly # Raises our spirits And charms our ears # Ah, the great projector himself.
Mr Parker.
If I might have a word with you, Sidney.
Of course.
Come on, sit down.
Join us, have a drink.
In private.
We'll go and join the young ladies over there.
My apologies.
Well, what is it? I'm anxious to know what progress you've made.
In what direction? TOM LAUGHS Why, in securing tenants for our enterprise, of course.
YOUR enterprise, Tom.
From which you stand to profit richly.
If it succeeds.
You know I depend on your connections.
And when I see you do nothing but carouse Easy, brother, easy.
Men like Babington and Crowe, they can't be bullied into staying, they have to be jollied into it.
You know that.
Sidney I'm beset with worries.
The workmen need paying.
Lady Denham is threatening to withdraw her investment.
I'm at my wit's end.
She has it in her power to ruin me.
While you All right, all right.
Enough.
The promotion of Sanditon is a very delicate business which I'm sure you truly understand.
But I am trying my best for you.
Truly.
That is all I ask, brother.
And I'm sorry to have interrupted your pleasure.
Work, man.
This is how I work.
If you say so.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
If you'll excuse me, I think I need some fresh air and bracing exercise.
Enjoy your rest.
You can exercise indoors, you know.
Good afternoon, Miss Heywood.
It is, Mr Stringer.
It is.
Let's go and paddle.
Come on! I dare you.
Come on, it's fine! Good for you, come on.
BOTH SHRIEK AND LAUGH It's freezing! Miss Lambe! My keeper.
Come here! Where have you been? Where have you been? GIRLS GIGGLING This is most irresponsible of you.
Mrs Griffiths, forgive me.
Paddling in the sea was all my idea.
Don't blame Georgiana.
Come home at once.
Georgiana.
I am surprised at you.
Anyone could have seen you! Bare-legged with your skirts up! At least I was enjoying myself for the first time since I came here.
Enough.
Proceed.
Come along.
GIRLS CONTINUE TO GIGGLE Stop sniggering.
Goodness me, come along! I thought you'd set sail for home.
Here's my parasol? Oh! Move along.
GASPS Oh Miss Heywood.
Am I never to get away from you? Mr Parker, I assure you you're the last person I wish to see.
Yes.
You're right, I spoke out of turn.
Forgive me.
Of course.
Excuse me.
PANTING