Superjail! (2007) s01e02 Episode Script
Combaticus
Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaah! # Oh, life on the outside ain't what it used to be # # You know, the world's gone crazy # # And it ain't safe on the street # # Oh, we're losing track # # And I know there's only one place to go # # I'm coming home # # Whoa, yeah # # I'm coming home # Aah! Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Ah, spelunking.
There's nothing like the fear of dying to scare away the winter blues, right, Jared? Sir, you know I hate caves! Facing your fears is the only thing that'll put some hair on your chest, right, Alice? I don't know.
I don't have any fears.
Eee! Jailbot, kill! Kill! What do you want from me?! Sir, my hieroglyphics are a little rusty, but I think this is a warning something about turning our souls into the devil's dust if we touch the Oh, this'll look great in my office or as a hood ornament or as the knob on my shifter.
N- o-o-o-o! Aah! Ugh! Ohh! Oh, look the warden discovered a little something-something.
The ancient city of Pamelonia has risen.
It says that this is Pamelonia, an ancient coliseum which provided the most violent and brutally exciting form of entertainment known to man.
This place was once removed by a mystical beastling that aah! Warden, warden! Doctor, doctor.
I have concluded my tests.
My diagnosis is that Superjail is in a state of severe depression.
Perfectamundo! I have just unearthed the cure.
My prescription is Fight city lay dormant for until this Saturday! Fight City we're letting the doors fly open and the wrath of hell blow in! Fight City it's your lucky night, so come hard or don't come at all! Fight city! You hear about Fight City? Fight what? If the warden is opening the ultimate fighting arena Then we will build the ultimate fighting machine.
Welcome to Fight City! Prepare yourselves for an all-out fight to the finish! First prize a warrior's feast of snake hides and blood sausage.
You will also receive a special day of flogging, buggering, and leech treatments at the Fight City day spa.
And finally, the winner will be given the ultimate prize freedom! # If you're stuck in Superjail # # Don't fret # # 'Cause the best is yet to come # # Here's what you get # # You got to fight all through the night # # And do it with all your might # # You got to fight your way to freedom # # You know that's the only way # Yeah! I love you, Fight City! Hey, what the man? I got two more verses.
I won.
I won! Hey, Gary, I won! Uhh.
Aaaaah! Ohh! Aaaah! There's no time like the showtime.
Our little baby is the perfect gift to the Fight City.
# Fight City, what a wonderful town # # Aggression is up, and depression is down # What the! Perfection.
Dominance.
The ultimate in fighting biotechnology.
Combaticus.
Yes, little one, it's you.
Humiliate them.
Ha ha! He's just a little pip-squeak.
Four hearts allow for unparalleled speed and metabolism.
of 6,050 newtons per square meter.
He is an individual cool cat.
A cat who has taken more than nine lives.
That thing's destroying Fight City! Doctor, you need to release our secret experiment.
But but it's not ready yet! It's ready when I say it is.
Now, you do it! Release specimen 7! Forged from the DNA of your Superjail staff comes a creature whose sole purpose is to destroy, whose only recognizable emotion is domination.
Domination.
Specimen 7.
Noble warrior, I am Gore, the war god of Pamelonia.
Your people's excessive bloodshed has finally returned me to my mortal, human form.
I am forever in debt and shall bestow upon thee all of this world's riches as my sincere thanks ohh! What?! Oh, that burns! God! Ugh! Um uh I'm a goner.
I- I am oh, it's go I- I need to sit.
I- I just got to oh, it's it's getting hazy.
I just whoo! I- I don't know wh Oh, god.
I just I just want to I'm just gonna close my eyes for a second here.
I just g Looks like the warden's arena is crumbling like a cookie.
Specimen 7 was a bit Can't teleport.
Systems failure.
Aah! Somebody save me! I'm falling down here! - Help.
- Help.
- Help.
Please help me.
A little help here.
Help us.
Could you uh, I'm looking for help.
It seems four hearts was one too many.
He only had one weakness compassion.
I am the new god of war.
Bow down to Combaticus.
There's nothing like the fear of dying to scare away the winter blues, right, Jared? Sir, you know I hate caves! Facing your fears is the only thing that'll put some hair on your chest, right, Alice? I don't know.
I don't have any fears.
Eee! Jailbot, kill! Kill! What do you want from me?! Sir, my hieroglyphics are a little rusty, but I think this is a warning something about turning our souls into the devil's dust if we touch the Oh, this'll look great in my office or as a hood ornament or as the knob on my shifter.
N- o-o-o-o! Aah! Ugh! Ohh! Oh, look the warden discovered a little something-something.
The ancient city of Pamelonia has risen.
It says that this is Pamelonia, an ancient coliseum which provided the most violent and brutally exciting form of entertainment known to man.
This place was once removed by a mystical beastling that aah! Warden, warden! Doctor, doctor.
I have concluded my tests.
My diagnosis is that Superjail is in a state of severe depression.
Perfectamundo! I have just unearthed the cure.
My prescription is Fight city lay dormant for until this Saturday! Fight City we're letting the doors fly open and the wrath of hell blow in! Fight City it's your lucky night, so come hard or don't come at all! Fight city! You hear about Fight City? Fight what? If the warden is opening the ultimate fighting arena Then we will build the ultimate fighting machine.
Welcome to Fight City! Prepare yourselves for an all-out fight to the finish! First prize a warrior's feast of snake hides and blood sausage.
You will also receive a special day of flogging, buggering, and leech treatments at the Fight City day spa.
And finally, the winner will be given the ultimate prize freedom! # If you're stuck in Superjail # # Don't fret # # 'Cause the best is yet to come # # Here's what you get # # You got to fight all through the night # # And do it with all your might # # You got to fight your way to freedom # # You know that's the only way # Yeah! I love you, Fight City! Hey, what the man? I got two more verses.
I won.
I won! Hey, Gary, I won! Uhh.
Aaaaah! Ohh! Aaaah! There's no time like the showtime.
Our little baby is the perfect gift to the Fight City.
# Fight City, what a wonderful town # # Aggression is up, and depression is down # What the! Perfection.
Dominance.
The ultimate in fighting biotechnology.
Combaticus.
Yes, little one, it's you.
Humiliate them.
Ha ha! He's just a little pip-squeak.
Four hearts allow for unparalleled speed and metabolism.
of 6,050 newtons per square meter.
He is an individual cool cat.
A cat who has taken more than nine lives.
That thing's destroying Fight City! Doctor, you need to release our secret experiment.
But but it's not ready yet! It's ready when I say it is.
Now, you do it! Release specimen 7! Forged from the DNA of your Superjail staff comes a creature whose sole purpose is to destroy, whose only recognizable emotion is domination.
Domination.
Specimen 7.
Noble warrior, I am Gore, the war god of Pamelonia.
Your people's excessive bloodshed has finally returned me to my mortal, human form.
I am forever in debt and shall bestow upon thee all of this world's riches as my sincere thanks ohh! What?! Oh, that burns! God! Ugh! Um uh I'm a goner.
I- I am oh, it's go I- I need to sit.
I- I just got to oh, it's it's getting hazy.
I just whoo! I- I don't know wh Oh, god.
I just I just want to I'm just gonna close my eyes for a second here.
I just g Looks like the warden's arena is crumbling like a cookie.
Specimen 7 was a bit Can't teleport.
Systems failure.
Aah! Somebody save me! I'm falling down here! - Help.
- Help.
- Help.
Please help me.
A little help here.
Help us.
Could you uh, I'm looking for help.
It seems four hearts was one too many.
He only had one weakness compassion.
I am the new god of war.
Bow down to Combaticus.