The Audacity (2026) s01e02 Episode Script

1
- Last week, Hypergnosis was
being acquired by Cupertino.
It's not happening.
- I did meet a Danish CFO.
Of course, we used protection.
- What can Hypergnosis do
to help us win our next war?
- We represent America's veterans.
- I told you they were from the VA.
- I need a sexy new client.
- I was in there,
and I saw you take that thing.
- You've been running a magnificent scam
on all your clients.
My company, we harvest your data.
Like how you and your ex-husband
both try to dodge custody of the kid.
Man.
Come on.
- Audio message to Jojo Therapy.
Hey, making sure
you're getting my messages.
Uh, for the next session tomorrow,
I was hoping maybe you could come up with
a list of your, like,
real thoroughbred clients
from your stable.
Super
Super excited about this next chapter
in our alliance.
Yeah, we'll do some spark flinging
and idea sploshing.
OK, text me, unless you're
under something heavy.
Are you?
Uh, kidding, obviously.
It's Duncan.
How are my ketones?
- 0.3 millimolar.
- Ah.
I had too many gojis in my slurry.
I told you.
- I mean, I don't think it's the gojis.
- What the hell?
- Where is my 1 by?
- Oh, um, I don't know.
- My 1 by.
Uh, where's Thelma?
Where's Thelma?
Thelma. Thelma.
The tungsten cube
I showed you yesterday
yeah, remember?
Where is it?
- I don't know where the cube is.
- Did you take my cube, Thelma?
Listen, I
I am not accusing you.
I know it's cliché, but we were
just talking about it.
- No.
- No, Thelma, brain food only.
Fish with the good omega-3
the Atlantic
- It's not
- I did not take it.
- Nova maybe?
- Don't cry.
- Don't do that.
- It's OK.
Thank you. She's OK.
She's crying.
- She's not crying. There's
- She
- She stole my cube.
- Really?
Hey, this is what you want said about you?
- He yells at the help?
- She stole
- Nothing worse.
- Nothing worse? Really?
How about she fucked a Great Dane?
- Run if you're gonna run.
Jamie's task force is this morning.
It's time to think endowment gifts.
Stanford's not taking this one for free.
- OK.
Bah, bah-da-dum!
- Hey, Duncan.
- Hey, Duncan!
- Oh, Jesus, Nena.
- You're paparazzi now?
- Well, you weren't taking my calls.
- I can't find
the stock app on this thing.
- Mm.
- Concerns about your price?
- No.
- Just doing fiduciary hygiene.
- Well, markets are closed today.
- It's Labor Day.
- Oh!
- Well, when's CEO Day, huh?
- But hey.
But some of us are on a deadline.
So off the record, in the lockbox,
any comment on the Cupertino acquisition?
Come on, man!
You started this!
Are talks still going ahead?
What's happening?
- You know, after your
last article came out,
a lot of people thought
it was me who leaked the rumor.
Maybe your lockbox is
in need of rejuvenation.
- Hey, can we stop running, please?
I eat a standard American diet.
Duncan, please!
Duncan, no one knew
that you were the source
- not from me, anyway.
- Good.
And if you want anything else
about me, from me,
you're gonna need to stay
my Deep Throat, OK?
No.
You're my Deep Throat.
- Any way you like it, Nena.
Uh
Audio message to Jojo Therapy.
Hey.
Um, just to say, you could hit me back.
I'm anxious, OK?
Man anxious.
Manxious.
- I want a gun.
- OK, but honey,
they said they caught the guy.
- They think they did.
- Well, ma'am, if you have
any additional information
- You caught a guy, not the guy.
Are you hungry?
Eat something.
My child sleeps down there, OK?
I mean, what if this guy is still
out there lurking, waiting?
You can eat more than that.
See, this is why your tummy hates you.
- Looks like he tried
to break the seal with this.
- That's my "Pippin"!
This is oh, my God.
This is an original
Broadway Cast recording.
Wow, look at that.
Trashed.
I'm sorry, that's just
- You know
- Great.
- He must have come in
through the waiting room.
Yeah, how many times have I
asked Alvin to fix that lock?
I mean, if he won't fix it, I'm sorry,
but what choice do we have but a gun?
- OK, well, true, Alvin, our landlord
we asked him to put an alarm
as well, and we're gonna ask
- He's done nothing.
- OK, but we're gonna talk
to him, obviously, OK?
No gun.
I'm not living in a home
with an instrument of death.
No offense.
- You rent?
- You might not be taking this
seriously enough.
- I think you are being
a little bit irrational,
- to tell you the truth.
- Oh, wake up, Gary.
We work with several ultra-rich clients
I mean, people on the radar of cabals
and cartels and conglomerates.
I mean, you don't think that
that one of their rivals
might plant a listening device
in their therapist's office?
- I don't know.
- I mean, CIA does it all the time.
- The CIA?
- Yes, the CIA.
- OK.
There is a batch of Klonopin upstairs.
It's going to help.
- I don't want a Klonopin, Gary.
I want a fucking gun.
I never get anything I want.
We still have all the old furniture
- from your first marriage.
- Yeah.
- Fine. Fine!
- Well, now, I want a gun.
- I nearly socked Lorraine when
she signed me up to be a whore.
Wynningidea.com
that's winning with a Y,
by the way, like whining,
but more horrible.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, I don't know that site.
- People pay 15 grand to pitch their
"winning idea" to CEO types like me
15 minutes.
But what halfway decent CEO
has 15 minutes to burn?
So basically, it's a parade of shit CEOs
or bored, retired types like me.
It triggered me like a fire alarm at a
at a fireworks factory.
That's how bad it triggered me.
Never again!
- It's OK, Carl.
We we all feel that way,
uh, sometimes.
Horrible people who have no boundaries,
no manners, no integrity,
we we want to lash out.
Sometimes we even fantasize
about hurting
- Yes.
- Them.
- Yes. Amen, sister.
Let's hurt 'em.
- Um, yeah.
But what are some strategies that
that that we could use?
Um, what about our mnemonics?
Stop.
S-T-O-P, stop, yeah.
- That thing?
- Yeah, that's right.
Uh, S, stop.
T, take a step back. O
- Yeah, can I forgive me.
Can I just
the S of STOP is stop.
The acronym is STOP.
But the S of STOP stands for stop?
- Yeah, yeah, that's, um
- that's no, that's right.
Um, S, stop.
T, take a step back.
- Yeah.
- O, observe.
- P
- Yeah.
- Proceed mindfully.
It's just a little thing to remember
for when that anger starts
- The S in STOP is for stop, correct?
I mean, couldn't you people
pretend to dress it up
a little bit?
I mean, slow down, suspend
something!
I can't believe a group of professionals
got into a room and landed on that!
Probably high-fived each other
over it, you know?
I mean, on the face of it,
if I could stop,
I wouldn't need the mnemonic.
If I could stop, I wouldn't
need anger management.
I'm here because I can't stop, right?
- Stop is only the first step.
- Yeah, of STOP!
Of STOP!
- Right, stop.
- Now T
- OK.
- Take a step back.
- Yeah, are you testing me?
Because I think I may fail.
Because I may start
S is for start
T, uh, throwing things.
- Carl.
- A is for at.
- Uh, R is for, uh
- Don't say it.
- I'm gonna say it.
- Don't say it.
- I'm gonna say it.
- Retarded.
- OK.
- And the last T is for therapists!
I am going to start throwing things
at retarded therapists!
Huh? I said it!
- OK.
Oh, for Christ's sake, Carl.
- Just just breathe.
- You breathe!
- But I've seen SAT scores go up 15, 20%
with the right fungal regime.
But there's always
side effects with fungus.
- Yes.
- OK.
- So retest
- Hi.
- With the hitting
and getting the right
- Sure.
- But let's say she hits 1300.
Then we're well within range
for Duke, Carnegie Mellon
- Jamie's going to Stanford.
- No, I'm going to Stanford.
That's me. Sorry.
- Jamison, low-key favor?
Can you try these glasses on?
- Wow! Right, yes.
It's, like, worth 100 IQ points.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- For the interview.
- Yeah.
- And what if we went
a bit radical with her hair?
- Maybe multicolor?
- Uh
- Manifest
- Mm.
- Individuality?
No.
I think she'd look like
a blue-eyed pinata.
I want the first swing.
No, sweetie, I'm kidding.
Let's talk accommodations.
- Dr. Gary?
- Mm.
- Yes.
- A little preview, perhaps?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Um, sorry.
So, uh, as I said, the
Full report promised, but
OK, so boiling it down
to some salient headlines
- Mm-hmm.
- The non-verbal abstract
processing, average.
Um, but Jamison does,
uh, meet the qualifying
diagnostic criteria for ADHD,
but only just.
- So double time.
- Does she get double?
- If you'd like
- A significant number
of applicants will have 200%.
- Right.
- OK, I don't need it.
- I'm not SpEd.
- Duncan. Remi.
You remember Remi,
our admissions consultant?
Remi, will you tell him
what you're thinking
- re the endowments?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- 3 or 4 million to the endowment fund.
Any more starts to look like a bribe,
unless we're talking a new library.
- Isn't strategic generosity
a bit shameless?
- This is all such bullshit!
- Jamie.
- Whoa.
She's upset about being neurodivergent.
- Ugh, I'm not.
- Well, I mean, you're
really just on the margin.
- I'm not!
- You want to have to take the test
twice as fast as everyone else?
- Let's retest. Yeah.
- Jim-Jam.
Just re-take the neuro thingy, OK?
Just do that. I'll take you.
- We'll get cheeseburgers.
- No, no cheeseburgers.
- Yeah, and, like, there's nothing wrong
with being on the spectrum.
I mean
I always assumed you are, with me on it.
And, hey, who among the Silicon savants
aren't a little divergent
in the neuro, right?
Right.
- I mean, that's why
we're so good at telling
the rest of you how to shop
and talk and stuff.
We're on the outside looking in.
- Right, Dr. Gary?
- That's right.
That's, uh, a really
- Interesting perspective on that.
JoAnne never mentioned
that you were on the spectrum.
- Well, why would she?
- No. What?
No, why would she?
That's I'm sorry, I misspoke.
Uh, that's called
a cognitive overload, folks.
JoAnne is my wife.
JoAnne was texting.
- Right.
- And I was talking to you, and I just
Oh, and
- Oh, look, there she is again, right?
Yeah. What a relief.
'Cause I thought she got hit by a truck.
- Uh, no.
- Glad to see your phone's working.
Uh, I'm curious if Gary is aware
of your unusual investment strategy.
Should I ask him?
No, you don't, lady.
You can't cancel on me.
You do not
- Get to do that.
- Hello?
Duncan? Hey. Can I
- Yeah.
- Listen, just to apologize,
it was highly unprofessional of me
to identify you as a patient
in front of others.
- It was
- A violation?
Transgression? Crime?
- No, not a crime, actually.
But she never mentioned
your diagnosis to me ever.
- I've never been diagnosed.
That's Sorry.
We're having quite an anxious morning.
That's JoAnne
- Actually, uh,
I keep meaning to get tested, but, um
- Well, I mean, if you're interested,
that's something I could do for you, sure.
I mean, on the house.
Don't worry.
- Oh, great.
- What are you doing now?
It's Labor Day, Gary.
You wanna labor?
- Uh sure.
Yeah. Today? Sure.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Great. You need the internet?
- No, no, no.
- Great.
- Old school.
- Good.
- Not here. Not here.
I know a great place.
No one will bother us
even if they wanted to.
- OK?
- Yeah?
- OK, so microphones
same as bedbugs.
They burrow down to where it's warm.
Gross, right? Yeah.
Look behind your
couch cushions and chairs.
- And look closely
- Ugh!
- At the fabric.
Even the faucet can make
sneaky hiding places for cameras
as tiny as a grain of salt.
And people, your art,
those paintings, is that pattern
hiding a 3D-printed mic?
And remember, it's only paranoia
in the eyes of soon-to-be-sorries.
And
- What's wrong, Gary?
- You look a little green.
- No, no, no.
You're one of those guys
who really likes to drive.
- I wasn't driving.
It's a self-driving car.
I mean, who knows how to drive
better than a car, right?
- Right, yeah. Yeah.
- You're not a risk guy, Gary?
- Ah.
- Huh? Huh?
- Sure.
- Let me ask you, how are you
with your investments?
You like you like to get
freaky with the Dow?
- Oh, you know, investing is, like,
JoAnne's department, mostly.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
Lili never shuts up about my portfolio.
JoAnne must keep you abreast.
- Right?
- Uh, not so much.
It's like, I do more
thermostats, oil changes
- Yeah. Good.
- That's you want to go?
Right.
- Home sweet home.
Everyone has a smart house, right?
This one's dumb.
That whole thing on top of the house,
that's a Faraday cage.
Blocks all cellular.
- Here, give me yours.
- Oh, no.
I need to have this
right now, if that's OK.
- But no cell phones inside.
Yeah, sure.
- Great. Could use a break.
- Good.
- Great.
- Yep.
The internet's never once
popped its cherry.
I mean, if you need milk,
the fridge won't tell you.
Your phone won't suggest you breathe,
and I guess, if you fall down
and break your leg,
- you're shit out of luck.
- Yeah.
I suppose.
- Let's find out how weird I am.
- All right.
I confuse texture with temperature.
Always, sometimes, rarely, never.
- Like, when I touch things?
- Always, sometimes, rarely, never.
- Maybe with, like, fruit, wet fruit.
You know, like a melon rind.
So rarely?
I fear flowers with thorns.
Always, sometimes, rarely, never.
- Never.
I don't know
wait, so should I?
Mm, rarely. Rarely.
- I feel judged by my clothes.
Always, sometimes, rarely, never.
- Well, sometimes.
I'm sorry, does that count for more?
I have difficulty waiting my turn.
Always, sometimes, rarely
- Always.
- Orson.
- Orson, I need you right now.
I
did you lock the door?
- OK, I have all my passwords
saved here somewhere
on a thumb drive, and I I
I need to change all of them.
- OK, um, uh, hey, what
what if you just give me
the computer password?
Then I can change them all.
- Aren't you smart?
OK, um, it's your name and your birthday.
Uh, did you do the capital O?
- I did the capital O.
- That's not the right date.
- Well, that's my birthday.
- No, it's not.
It
- It totally is.
- It's the 11th.
- No, it's it's the 10th.
This is why you always call me
the day after my birthday?
- I
It's, um it's
it's Halloumi's birthday.
- Halloumi?
- Yeah, our
- she was your dad's, actually.
Um, uh, Halloumi, wiener dog.
We scattered her ashes at the beach?
That that trip that we took
to Knott's Berry Farm
you remember.
Yes, you do. You loved it.
There was that that mine ride
with the animatronic Chinese laborers,
and you wore that little
cowboy hat I got you.
Well, I didn't go there
for me, Orson. Jesus.
You think I had a good time
at Knott's Berry Farm?
Um, why don't
why don't we just do
the fingerprint thing instead?
- Yeah. Good idea.
Um, like this?
- Um, right over here.
This.
Yeah. Thank you.
- Can you hear that? Listen.
Total lack of microwaves.
- Yeah, it's it's a
it's a beautiful house, Duncan.
It was Hamish's, my business partner,
college roommate.
He loved it here.
We co-founded Fahfa.
You remember Fahfa?
- Yeah. Uh, yeah.
A buddy of mine met
his first wife on Fahfa.
And I bought a Subaru on Fahfa.
It was actually my second Subaru.
Got that on Fahfa.
- Nice. Nice.
- OK, so I really gotta get back.
So can you run me to the
- Yes. Yes.
- You remember Hamish?
Hamish was a genius.
Inept, but, you know, he couldn't
- OK.
- He couldn't look people in the eye.
He couldn't
couldn't talk to people.
I talked for him.
Huh.
Dude had a horrible stutter.
Yeah, I would steal his, uh
his shoes, his medication
you know, that kind of thing.
And he'd go,
"Fah-fah-fuck you, Duncan."
And that's how we came up
with the name Fahfa.
- Oh.
- He hanged himself.
- Oh.
- Right above where
you're standing, actually.
- Oh. Fuck.
- Yeah.
You can still make out where
he, uh, carved his goodbye.
"Sorry."
Yeah.
Should have been, "You're welcome," right?
You're welcome.
He he gave me this house,
gave me everything
and a chance to do it on my own.
Yeah.
That's how I bought Hypergnosis.
Whew!
Wish I had a JoAnne back then.
Let's go. OK.
- OK.
- JoAnne deserves so much more.
And I'm not talking about you.
I'm I'm sure you keep her
very satisfied.
And I'm I'm
I mean financially.
- We're doing all right, Duncan.
I appreciate your concern.
- You can call yourself a car, right?
I'm gonna hang back and meditate.
If you just go up the hill,
you'll eventually get service, OK?
- Wait, up up this?
OK.
What was JoAnne texting Gary about?
- Uh, well
- Was it about me?
It was, wasn't it?
It was about me.
- No. Uh, no, it's not.
- It's, um
- OK, what
- She she wants
uh, she wants a gun.
- A gun.
- A gun?
- Yes.
A gun.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- We'll figure it out.
- OK.
Uh, good morning, Bill.
- Morning, Dr. Webb.
- Uh, wondering, what's that?
- That was for Lacy.
Last year, she was one of the ones
who put herself in a Caltrain's path.
- Take it down, Bill,
or else they will all want one.
OK.
- I know what they're gonna say.
Klepto. Pyro.
Psycho.
Probably make a lot of bitches smile
if I unalived myself.
I'm just having too much fun, you know?
Hmm?
What's that?
You got no wisdom to share?
Speak up.
So embarrassing.
Whoa!
Easy!
- Are you nervous?
- Don't be.
You're gonna be great.
Not great.
You don't have to be great.
Just keep expectations
Reasonable.
Here, I say this to my clients.
You know the story of Icarus?
He, um he tried to fly,
uh, too close to the sun,
but his wings melted, and so
he fell down to Earth and died.
But if Icarus flew too low, he'd drown.
The middle, that is where you want to be.
Yep. You're not drowning.
You're not getting burned by the sun.
But, hey, you're flying.
- That's cool.
- OK. Thanks, Mom.
- Love you so much.
- You have no idea.
It won't budge!
- Yeah, there's nobody in there.
- Hi. Name and grade?
- Thank you.
- Hi. Name and grade?
- Hey, how's it going?
- Thank you so much. Hi.
- Hi.
- Uh, name and grade?
- Orson Stern, ninth grade.
I'm new, so
- Uh, Dr. Webb?
- Hmm?
- Uh, this young man
is in the system, but
Hon, it looks like your transcript from
your last school never arrived.
We can't onboard you until we get it.
- My my dad was supposed
to do that.
- Oh, well, can you give him a call?
- Yeah.
Um, he didn't
he didn't answer.
- Why don't you go wait
in the dining hall?
Someone will come find you.
Hi. Name and grade?
- No! It won't budge.
- Hi.
Uh, have a good day.
Yeah, bye, bye, bye.
Um, hey, uh, we should talk.
- There's nothing to talk about.
- Nothing to talk that's
That's emotional distortion
- And if deliberate, um, quite cruel.
- Duncan, I am not doing this here!
- It's fine. That's fine.
- Follow me. Uh, we'll talk.
- No.
- Fine.
Um, when you were insider
trading off your patients
I'm sorry
I'm sorry, your clients.
When you were insider trading
off your clients'
most private and confidential confidences
given to you in strict confidence
according to the rules
of Therapy International
I'm just curious
- Ah! Ah!
- Oh, my God!
- Ah!
- Oh!
- What?
- What the hell was that?
- JoAnne!
- Hello. Can I help you?
- Yes, hello. Hi.
Um, I've been hacked, I think
several purchases of stocks
I do not recognize.
- Oh, dear. Have a seat.
- Thank you.
Um, the sticky part is,
uh, I'm a psychologist.
- Hmm.
- Um, but patients
- well, clients
come for therapy to my home office.
- Ah, working from home
- the dream.
- Yes, it is.
Um, but one of them must
have got my phone and
and found my brokerage accounts.
- OK.
Well, let's see what
we're talking about here.
- OK. Thank you.
- Name?
- Uh, well, I need to emphasize that
the doctor-patient confidentiality thing
is a worry.
I mean, if it was one of my patients,
I I couldn't testify,
um, to it.
- Hmm.
Sounds like a case for our pals
in the fraud department.
They know how to tango
with law enforcement
and all that jazz.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
No. Um, thank you.
Um, no, you see,
at least ten of my patients
could have done this.
So and and five of them
have dangerous, violent tendencies.
I mean, they might do harm to
themselves or their families.
They could come after me.
Could even come after you, Pat.
- Well, why would they come after me?
- Is there a world where
we reverse the trades?
Like, give it back?
- Well, we can't recoup your losses
without a fraud report, I'm afraid.
- I
There weren't any losses,
only profits.
It's an ethical concern.
I can't be making money off my
- my patients.
- Hmm.
Well, you could
you could give the money
to charity, like for psychologists.
- Or I could lose it
to protect my patient.
Make a bad bet, maybe two.
- Muddy it up? Sure.
But I can't advise you to do that.
We have duties, fiduciary ones.
- Yeah, yeah, I get it.
I know what to do now. Great.
Thank you, Pat.
- Now, would you be willing to fill out
a customer satisfaction survey?
- No.
- Can you get a clearer image, Harper?
This it looks like a pile
of laundry on a skateboard.
I'm
- Her phone is off,
so she's probably on to you.
- Did you geo-fix her car?
- Yes, but the signal is very shaky.
I'm only locked in on her telematics.
Like, her car's emergency systems.
- OK.
- Even her tire pressure
monitors send out a beacon.
- Her tire pressure monitors.
Well, there's no hiding with this.
Nice new digs, by the way.
This could be the hub for this project.
What are we going to call it?
Did you come up with a name yet?
- Eye in the Sky?
- Duncam.
- That's funny, but something
a little more grand.
- The Duncquisition.
- That's not funny.
- The Eye of Odin.
- No.
No, Gnodin. Gnodin.
- Like
- Hypergnosis.
- Hypergnosis. Like
- G-O-N?
- No, no G.
- No G.
- Oh, she's on the 280.
And she's getting off.
- Where is she?
OK, where is this?
- Harper, where is that?
- Um
- Why did you turn it off?
- It's just that I've already given you
a 360-degree profile of this woman.
And this is not protecting,
and it's not probing.
It's straight-up stalking.
- We are not s
we're not stalking her.
We are stalking her car.
- Harper, she wants to buy
a gun to shoot Duncan.
- That's right.
- That's right.
This is a life-or-deather.
So now can you just do your job?
- This is not my job.
- This is extra.
- How much do you make?
- 150.
- If I give you two, can we never
have this conversation again?
- I would like to be CTO.
- Wow. Wow.
A threat to my physical well-being
is your cue to negotiate?
We'll discuss at your
next performance review.
Oh, it's now. It sucks!
Just get her back.
- The Eye of Gnodin.
- Eye of Gnodin.
- Can we be quiet in this space please?
- OK.
- The secret to success
take something people already do for free
and charge them for it.
Now you've got a business.
I'm a founder of Brainili.
- What's your winning idea?
- Jesus Christ.
Come on. Come on.
- Work is life.
That's why I launched Defmo,
a reimagined workweek
for your business where days
are numbers, not names.
No more Mondays, no more Sundays,
just pure flow.
- What's your winning idea?
- Morons.
- Now, my alpha men,
consider the king crab.
Its shell can only strengthen
in isolation.
So it is with young men. A
- Wow. Great work, champ.
Worth every penny.
I thought you said no one else
could do what you do.
- Well, her car's off,
and her phone's off,
so I can't track her aura.
Not for nothing, but for
every hour we run this algo,
- we release a ton of carbon.
- Oh, great.
We'll sponsor a penguin.
And if that extra 50K on your pay stub
weighs heavy on your conscience,
you'll let me know about that too?
Wha wha uh!
- The gentlemen from the VA are here.
- No, they're not.
- They're literally right there.
- Come on!
- Throw it like a man!
- Show me what you got.
- Yeah, yeah.
- What the hell?
- It's gonna have a little English on it.
- Oh, I studied English
- It's called backspin.
- In university.
- Backspin!
- What?
- Suck it. Suck it.
- Oh, shit.
- They are playing ping pong,
Anushka, in the office.
I thought I told you to call
off the deal with these bozos!
- I made an executive decision
to plug my ears.
You better roll out
the red carpet for them,
or you're gonna have to
explain to the whole board
how you turned down a quarter
of a billion dollars.
You're not thinking things through.
What do you sell?
- Um, uh, no, the future?
- No, Prince Myshkin, data.
The VA has 16 million
wounded heroes in its files.
You don't think big pharma
would want data like that?
Or life insurance companies
or bloody commemorative coins?
And if those data sales fund the good work
of actually helping people
who really do deserve it,
maybe we can still get to heaven.
Win-win.
- It just feels like, without Hamish,
everyone's looking at me,
waiting for me to just fall on my dick.
- No one is looking at you.
- Oh, that's supposed
to make me feel better?
- What, you want people to look at you?
- Yes!
Yes, I want them to look
and see someone
Awesome.
- Oh, I need some competition.
I played in bases all over the world!
- Ruffage! Jeffery!
Ruffry!
I see you're making yourselves at home.
- Yeah, your offices are epic.
- Yes, thank you.
- Thank you.
- Well, I was thinking maybe we'd start
with single source justification.
Basically, if we can show
the DC bean counters
what's unique about Hypergnosis
- We're unique as fuck.
- Great. Yeah.
- Uh, Harper, Harper.
Uh, this is our new CTO, Harper.
Why don't you give them a look
through the Eye of Gnodin?
Extra carbon for my friends here.
And we'll get that data merged
into our system toot sweet.
- Well, we can have trucks
here in 72 hours
- if you have someone to load
- Sorry, trucks?
- Yeah, a lot of it is still on paper,
some floppy disks too, so
- Yeah, you know,
like when your home movies
are on VHS kind of thing.
I don't know.
This is what the money's for,
huh, to upload and update.
- Paper? Floppy disks?
- What? What?
- She's parked somewhere in Milpitas.
- Do you want me to go?
- No.
No, I'll do it. I'll do it.
- We just need some specs for the
- And we will. We will.
Lucky, this is the wrong way.
Why am I in the Bayfront Expressway?
- Well, we're working on it.
- No. Where is JoAnne?
I'm turning around because of you.
- I am sorry, Duncan.
- Shut shut shut up!
- Duncan?
- Shut up!
Put Harper on!
OK. OK, that makes sense.
I'm going back that way.
- Nice Hummer, asshole!
- Oh, it's an EV, OK?
I'm part of the solution.
Bitch.
Oh, JoAnne, you can't hide from me.
- OK, OK.
Harper says parking lot.
Maybe on your left?
- The parking lot.
- Looking left.
- Right.
- Right, right.
- Looking right.
- OK, try left.
- I don't see her.
- There is nothing here.
- OK.
- Literally, there is nothing here.
- All right, just hold tight.
Should be there. Harper?
Yeah, should be there.
Duncan, can you confirm?
Duncan?
- Uh-oh.
- All right.
Ready for some jokes?
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
- 'Cause poachers cut off his arms.
- Tess, please.
- Organic facial expression
of positive affect.
He smiled. He laughed.
Right?
Just like any teenage person.
- Now he just needs spots
and raging hormones.
- Trophy for you, Xander.
Thank you, Martin.
- Alexander, trophies
are dopamine shortcuts
for those of us with dopamine.
- He's making his own dopamine.
He's gonna be a genuine friend
who listens and responds to teens.
You're in a bubble.
You have no idea what teens
today are going through.
- First chortle.
- Right.
Trophy for Tess if you make it to school
today without incident.
- I don't want to startle you.
- Ah! Ah!
- Hey. All right, hey.
- Calm down.
- Get out!
- Calm down. Calm down.
- Get out of my house!
- I just wanna talk.
- I just wanna talk!
- Gary!
- No, Gary Gary
- Gary!
- He's not he's not here, OK?
The muscle's gone.
He took the car.
Just JoAnne.
Lift up your arms.
- Uh, OK, Duncan, you
you have to stop breaking
into my house like this.
- This is my first time.
- OK.
I I'm gonna call
the police right now.
- No, no.
And I'm
and I'm gonna call Nena Marx
you know, the journalist?
She hounds me for tips all the time.
All I have to tell her is, Nena,
do I have a story for you.
Shrink turns patients' trauma into trades.
Who wouldn't want to click that?
Come here.
Like that. Let's go.
You think you know everything about me.
Well, you don't.
Firstly, that varicose vein thing?
It was just a consultation.
I decided not to go through with it.
- I figured.
You don't always wear pantyhose.
Ugh!
Oh, my God.
- And much more importantly,
that that thing
about Orson's custody,
you have no right to any of it.
But since you've already weaseled your way
into my life, I
I wanted my son.
It's just that
that Ethan told me,
he he promised that
he would look after him
while I finished my degree
and got myself into
lifelong student loan debt
at 8%, so and now
I have a 15-year-old
who has no memory of the little cowboy hat
I got him after he had a shit fit
in the middle of the food court.
So you think you know everything
because you have information.
But information is not insight.
And of that, Duncan, you have none.
Please.
Please. Please.
Don't don't do this.
I mean, is this what you want?
Please.
It was just a little insider trading.
- Sorry. Yeah.
- Thank you.
- So sorry, but you can't
unfuck that bell.
You committed a crime.
And I'm the natural consequence
of that crime.
You are looking at this all wrong.
I'm the best thing that's happened to you
since Mike Abbadelli finger-banged you
at the Turtleback Zoo.
- I Mike what how
- I that memoir
you're writing?
It's still on Note Docs.
- It's like a demon
shat you into my brain.
- How many companies,
how many billions of dollars
have you saved or earned for your clients?
That God, come on.
That's got to burn.
It is Jojo's turn, right?
All I need is just one of your clients,
someone,
someone I could just do something with.
That's it.
And, of course,
someone who's gonna get me.
Carl Bardolph.
- Carl Bardolph?
As in Bardolph's Law, Bardolph?
That that Carl Bardolph?
Oh, wow. Nice. OK.
Oh, OK.
So he wants to get back in the game.
You know, what's his sweet spot,
his open sesame?
Come on.
JoAnne.
I bet he likes it,
people worshipping at his feet.
And does he does he miss it?
The glory days?
Ooh, he's a glory hound.
Yeah, yeah, I'm at his feet,
so he's at my feet.
Yeah? Come on.
Oh, come on.
Always? Sometimes?
Rarely? Never?
- Sometimes.
- Tell me more.
- JoAnne? Sweetie.
- Wow.
Everything OK?
Hey.
You all right?
- Gary, um,
I have to tell you something.
So Duncan Park?
- Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, um, that's on me.
I am so sorry about that.
I
It was a slip.
It was just a slip.
I'm I'm sorry.
I apologized right away.
And, um, then I gave him
a free neuropsych eval.
- You
you did what?
Why?
That man is worth hundreds
of millions of dollars.
And he is the single most vile,
arrogant, incurable
- OK, I see you're still activated.
- No, no, Gary, you have to listen to me!
- OK, OK.
- Can you just let me
- You listen to me.
- May I?
May I, please? May I?
I get it, I do.
Sometimes we become resentful
of our clients.
- Oh, please, tell me more,
Professor Felder.
- Oh, teach me, and mentor me.
- All right.
Sarcasm aside, I know a psychiatrist
who was in a terrible car accident.
He barely survived, broke his neck,
and he lost the use of his legs
and still went back to treat clients.
And I asked him, how do you do this?
How do you sit there and listen
to people's little complaints
after what you've been through?
And the answer was,
suffering is suffering.
- Gary, I was there
when Phil told you that story.
- He was no.
No, you're no, you're wrong.
'Cause Phil was no,
you're mistaken about that.
But the point is that
Duncan Park deserves therapy
as much as anybody anywhere.
He's a human being.
Rich, poor, it doesn't matter.
Can we stop fighting now, JoAnne?
I hate to fight with you.
Yeah?
Anyway, here.
I know that you feel that you
don't always get what you want.
- That's not what I
- I didn't mean to
- It's OK if you did.
I heard you.
- And I wish I could give you a better
Anyway, here.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Silly.
- Silly man.
- Yeah?
- Uh it
Oh, my God. It's
It's perfect.
- Mmm.
- Yum, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- I think this is our new regular.
- Yeah.
I sort of prefer Alpine, but this is good.
- It is good.
- Hey, Dad.
You can't fire Thelma.
- She stole my cube, Jim-Jam.
And you've had so many nannies anyway.
- No, just Thelma, since I was born.
- No.
What about the hot one
when you were young,
with the shorts?
- That was Thelma.
That was Thelma?
- Oh, really? OK.
How about this?
You don't tell Mom about the milkshake,
and I won't
I won't fire Thelma, OK?
- Deal.
And also
- Mm-hmm.
- I can get into Stanford
for real, without cheating.
I don't need all the extra time,
and you and Mom won't have to give money.
- OK. OK.
It is Daddy's money.
And, sweetie, cheating
is doing it for real.
The only real cheating is
when you cheat yourself.
Cheaters never lose.
And losers, they never cheat.
- OK, Dad.
Mmm.
- Think about the sun,
Pippin ♪
Think about
her golden glance ♪
How she lights
the world up ♪
Well, now it's your chance ♪
With the guardian
of splendor ♪
Inviting you to dance ♪
Pippin,
think about the sun ♪
Think about
your life, Pippin ♪
- Days are tame
and nights the same ♪
- Think about the beauty
In one perfect flame ♪
And the angels
of the morning ♪
Are calling out your name ♪
Pippin,
think about the sun ♪
-Ardoff in my sights.
I feel like Jane Goodall about
to shoot a silverback gorilla.
-I'm guessing you're a veteran of war.
- Did you kill anyone?
- Xander
-Until we get his transcript,
he's not our responsibility.
-Duncan Park, hypernosis.
-Zero days since I stabbed someone, Joann.
- Do you hate me that much?
- Yes.
-What happened to your face?
-What happened to yourface?
- Here we go.
- Action.
-I nearly socked Lorraine when
she signed me up to be a whore.
It triggered me like a fire alarm at a
at a fireworks factory.
That's how bad it triggered me.
Never again!
-Bardolph goes to see Joanne
for anger-management purposes.
-He's upset at something.
I don't know if we really know
what that is yet.
To me, some of it's just old-
fashioned generational ageism,
where he's older
and he sees the younger people
screwing things up.
- And she gives him a mnemonic
- S.T.O.P.
- S Stop.
- T Take a step back.
O Observe.
- P Proceed mindfully.
- Yeah.
-It's just a-a little thing
to remember for when that
-The S in STOP is for "stop," correct?
-That was actually bestowed upon
one of my writers,
and she would joke about that.
- I may start
- S is for "start"
- T uh, "throwing things"
- Carl.
-I think it's hysterical
from the point of view
of Bardolph getting so pissed off
on the lack of thought
that went into making "stop"
the first step of S.T.O.P.
Based on a true story.
- Don't say it.
- I'm gonna say it.
- Don't say it.
- I'm I'm gonna say it.
- Retarded!
- Okay.
-And the last T is for "therapist"!
I am going to start throwing things
at retarded therapists!
You're out.
-What was Joanne texting Gary about?
- She wants a gun.
- Agun?
Uh-oh.
-Also in Episode 2,
you have a real ratcheting up
of the Joanne-Duncan dynamic.
-Hi.
-He feels like they were
gonna be partners.
And now she's not returning his calls.
She's ghosting him.
I don't want to startle you
-Duncan breaking into Joanne's house
First of all, it's probably
my favorite scene in the season.
I just love it.
These two actors are duking it out
in a way that's
incredibly gratifying to watch.
-I just have to say, like,
working with Sarah has been
an absolute treat.
You know, it's important, like,
to show up every day to work
and be inspired by the people
around you to push harder
and, you know, be better.
- It was just a little
- insider trading.
-But you can't unfuck that bell.
You committed a crime,
and I'm the natural consequence
of that crime.
-It is the moment when
your character's wants and needs
come to a collision point.
Joanne seemingly gives in.
-All I need is just one of your clients.
-Carl Bardolph.
-Carl Bardolph.
-We know that Carl Bardolph
is violently angry
and does not want people talking to him
and worshipping at his feet.
She does not mention that to Duncan.
That will play out in the next
episode of "The Audacity."