The 'Burbs (2026) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Welcome to ashfield place.
Now, I'm Samira. And that's miles.
We really went from
city loft to lawn so fast.
We did everything so fast.
How long has that house been empty?
Twenty years, give or take.
This is a cul-de-sac. People are weird.
You've been keeping tabs on us
through the window, Jimmy Stewart?
Which one of us is the murderer?
Your face.
What's the deal with
that victorian house?
A family lived there.
- They had a daughter who
- died.
- Maybe even
- murdered.
She also keeps asking questions
about the house across the street.
Do you have a periodical section?
I'm afraid that march
volume has been checked out.
It was an all-cash deal.
Those are for the new neighbor.
I just wanna know what
his deal is, don't you?
- Hands where I could see 'em.
- What's happening?
We got a call about a trespasser
at the old Grant house.
- This is lunacy.
- I think we should stay.
There's space in the community
and our family's not gonna
be run out by some racist,
brownie-hating prick.
Goodnight, Alison.
I still wanna be Samira too.
Miles? Miles?
Miles.
Miles! Miles!
Miles!
Miles.
I'm coming, miles.
Miles. No.
Hello, neighbor.
No.
No.
Hey. Hey.
It's okay. You're safe.
I had a bad dream.
Shoo. Shoo.
Okay.
Agnes' dog took a dump
on Lynn's lawn again.
Please, honey.
That man still hasn't
touched my brownies.
- You okay, miles?
- Yeah?
He's too busy being a racist
than putting up no trespassing signs
that point directly at your house.
Please don't get obsessed.
- I'm not.
- Can you blame her?
- The guy called the cops on her.
- Thank you.
Okay. We need to take these down.
We should keep our distance.
He does his thing. We do ours.
We live across the
street from this weird prick.
Let's just leave it at that.
I love the lobster dicks.
Absolutely not.
No. Yeah. The dicks have gotta go.
But why would he move
into a murder house?
- It's not a murder house.
- No one got murdered there.
Seriously, don't believe
those stupid stories
about her parents killing her
and burying her in the basement.
It's so ridiculous.
Who said that?
- What?
- Naveen.
- What's the story?
- There's no story.
- You just referred to a story.
- I know, but it's not
do you think there's truth to the story?
I don't think so.
You don't think so? You don't know so?
I
Where there's smoke,
there's fire and it's burnin'.
There is no smoke 'cause there's no fire
and there's no burning
'cause it's nonsense.
It's a small town myth, nothing more.
You're a good fucking
lawyer, you know that?
- You bet I do.
- And you're an idiot.
We gotta go.
What just happened to me?
I love you and I love you too, little man.
Make sure your mama
doesn't get in trouble
while I'm gone, okay?
Bye. I hate leaving you alone all day.
Exactly.
I can't stop thinking
about the other night.
It's horrible seeing Samira
that scared, seeing Danny.
I fucking hate that guy.
Why is it always like
the biggest douchebag
in high school that grows up to be a cop?
Always. Fuck that guy.
Fuck that guy.
You know, he still calls
me naveen the peen
every time I run into him.
I mean, it does have
quite a nice ring to it.
But you've got Quidditch
bitch which became
- Benedict cumberbitch.
- Benedict cumberbitch, yeah.
He was quite creative.
I was an easy target.
Forgive me for not asking
you this, like, decades ago.
How did you deal with all of that,
you know, being one of the
few non-white kids in our class?
I wouldn't have survived
if I held on to everything
that was ever said
about me or done to me.
You're raising a black son, man.
You kind of realize this
shit goes way further
than anything else.
People are assholes everywhere.
Dannys Dannys everywhere.
Look, dwelling is not
gonna get you anywhere.
New plan. You gotta do what brits do.
Bottle it up and Bury it deep
into the crevices of your soul.
I don't wanna do that, mate.
Not with Samira and miles.
It's not healthy.
Or at least that's what Samira's
therapist told her to tell me.
Do I need therapy?
I mean, extensive.
Okay. You're here and you're committing.
You gotta re-frame and put down roots.
Let this go and move on
for miles For all of you.
Thanks, naveen the peen.
You're welcome, Benedict cumberbitch.
It's my neighbor.
Don't you make a move.
I'll be right back, miles.
Be right back.
May I help you?
I'm Samira. I live across the street.
Gary Lawson. Pleasure.
And I want to introduce myself
so there are no more
misunderstandings.
I'm not sure I'm understanding
the misunderstandings.
You told the cops that
you saw a black person
trespassing on your
property the other day.
- That's what you said, right?
- I'm sorry.
I had I had no idea that was you.
- Well, now you know.
- Yeah.
The house has been sitting vacant.
So, I figured anyone coming around
must be a squatter or a vagrant.
- Well, I'm a litigator.
- Well, look at that.
You know what they
say when you assume?
You're an asshole.
Something like that, yeah.
Just so you know
It wasn't a race thing.
It's usually a race thing.
I assure you
Never mind.
You know what?
I'm not big on sweets.
No problem.
Doing some gardening?
I'm renovating.
House needs a lot of work.
But it has good bones.
Your phone seems to be crying.
Excuse me.
Bye, neighbor.
Somethin' not right about that man.
Remember what I say,
miles, believe women. Okay?
We have instincts, gut, maternal,
killer, basic instincts.
Rob? My goodness.
I thought I locked the door.
Nobody locks their
doors around here, honey.
We do. We're lockers.
What the hell happened out there?
It was the smugness that pissed me off.
I mean, there was no
remorse in his voice, zero.
Not an ounce.
Wow, you are a natural.
It's all muscle memory.
I was always good with babies.
Older kids, not so much.
And teenagers, forget about it.
They wake up one day
and just decide to hate you.
My kids and I fought so much.
I'm surprised they never ran away.
But they adored Marty.
Everybody did.
I wish I got a chance to meet him.
Me too, sweetie.
Thank you. I didn't know how
much I needed the company.
I assume bev Fisher
offers minimal help?
Warmth is not exactly her style.
She's very British.
When we're in the
hospital, she and Don came.
You know, they gave
miles a stuffed rabbit
and told us that they were
going on a cruise forever.
Small favors.
It's definitely a huge favor
that they gave us this house, but
- Yeah.
- That's how they show love,
through grand gestures
and minimal emotion.
But I'm really glad that
Rob didn't turn out that way.
You need your village
And I'm gonna tell them to bring food.
Usually, you have to wait 24 hours
to give one this size, but I
am a Hinkley hero's hero.
It's part of their loyalty program.
Loyalty?
That's what I'm talkin' about.
- Hinkley hills is like
- Thanks.
A community, you know, people care.
They watch out for each other.
Or just watch each other.
A street light'll go out,
it's fixed right away.
There's a pothole, it's
filled overnight magically.
It's like military precision.
It's It's like Disneyland.
Or Singapore,
which I guess is kind of like Disneyland
but with corporal punishment.
Todd, clearly, you have never
gotten in real trouble at Disneyland.
- It's no joke, Todd.
- Okay.
And it is the safest town in america.
Is it? Do you actually
trust the burger place
that claims they have the
best burger in the country?
Well, yes.
Don't move. I'll get it.
Okay. Thanks, Lynn.
- God.
- Who is it?
The evil overlord.
Mickey?
- Agnes.
- Lynn.
- Hi, Agnes.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Hello. My goodness.
Looks like a party.
Are you going to arrest
us for having a nice time?
I would offer you something
but, there isn't enough.
- Samira, dear.
- Samira.
I got a call from my
very, very dear friend,
your mother-in-law, who
gave me the welcome news
- that you and Robert and Milo
- Miles.
Decided to make Hinkley
hills your permanent home.
So, as president of the Hinkley hills
homeowners association,
it's incumbent upon me to tell you
That we're thrilled.
And you are very, very welcome here.
- Well, thank you so much.
- And to give you your
- official hoa handbook
- Okay. -Helpful hints,
bylaws about the way we
like to do things around here.
Okay.
Everything is right in there.
Think of it as your new Bible.
If you don't, fury will reign down
upon the heads of the unbelieving.
If you're referring to the
dispute of April 24th, Lynn,
proper trash disposal and containment
is essential in neighborhoods
with wild land and urban interface.
We are not looking to lure
any unwanted creatures
- Like yourself.
- Let alone
their attendant pathogens
into our environment.
The next global pandemic
is not starting on my block.
I'll leave you to it.
Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am.
I'm sorry. I just really
respond to her leadership style.
If I was a little older.
Todd.
So then Agnes shows up,
like she's watching the whole thing.
She probably was.
She's watching all of the time.
Honestly, you leave your bins out
for more than a day she's on to you.
She's so annoying.
She's get me in so much
trouble when I was a teenager
with my mom, full nerd.
Why? Weren't you like a nerd?
Babe, I was not a nerd.
I was getting in trouble
- all of the time.
- Okay. For what?
Crashing through hedges,
getting lit on hot lemonade in the woods.
I hate to break it to you
but you married a bad boy.
- Come on.
- White boys would act too.
What do you think here? Little boy blu?
Bit on the nose for a nursery?
Yeah.
Slate, eau-de-nil, masculine,
but without an agenda?
Not feeling it.
Kind of blue, that's nice.
- Miles Davis.
- Miles Davis.
- Gotta be that, right?
- It's perfect.
This is great.
Nesting, focusing on our future.
I also met the new neighbor today.
- God.
- Yeah.
What was the asshole doing?
So I just
What?
Shit, shit, shit.
Hello, neighbors.
Hi.
Have a good night.
Enjoy your nesting.
Yup. He definitely heard us.
Did you see his cart?
Axe, lighter fluid, quicklime, the hell?
That's a cart full of murder right there.
Good night brush.
Good night nobody.
Good night mush.
And good night to the
old lady whispering "hush."
I never understood who "she" was.
I was always worried she
was meant to symbolized death.
Rob.
Sorry.
Good night stars.
Good night air.
Good night noises everywhere.
- We did it.
- Yeah.
Are you tearing up?
I just hate goodbyes.
You know, I think I'm getting used
to this suburban silence.
But you know what
I'm not getting used to?
The decorations.
What? You don't like
decorative plates on every wall?
It's the pelicans. They're scaring me.
Am I in a house or a swamp?
Moms and animal
knickknacks, it's insane.
You give them one and
then you blink, and bam,
pelicans everywhere.
I can't wait for this little guy
to have his own room.
So we can draw him
back down and get into it.
Shh.
So
Rob.
What's your deal?
Well, as you can see, most
of my childcare experience
is directly related to early infancy.
I know baby cpr, baby
swim, and all baby games.
I'm almost too good at peekaboo.
Yeah, wow.
It's just very impressive.
If you're concerned about
my age, my references
No, it's not your age.
It's just It's hard to accept help.
I get it, Mr. and Mrs. Fisher.
It's fine. You can call us Rob and Samira.
Okay.
Rob and Samira, nobody
can be you but you.
But rest assured, I am an
excellent mother's helper.
I can help you run errands
and I'll just be an extra
set of arms and ears
so you can sit down sometimes, relax,
and take a shower if you need.
- You're hired.
- When can you start?
Thank you.
And feel free to reach
out to any of my references
for due diligence.
- Michelle Obama?
- Michelle Obama?
You need help with it? Wow.
- No, I got it.
- A pro.
Is that who I think it is?
- No.
- What's happening?
It's Samira, right?
Sorry. I must sound like
a total stalker. I'm Lauren.
My parents live across
the street from you,
the festersons?
Agnes and bill? And I
went to school with Rob.
God, like a million years ago.
We are actually
dinosaurs, it's disgusting.
But it is so
So nice to meet you?
So nice to meet you too?
No. No.
Who is this little lady killer?
That's miles.
But we are trying to stop him
from killing so many women.
You're funny.
I love funny.
Is your daughter as funny as you are?
Well, I appreciate the suggestion
that I resemble Samira in any way,
but actually she's my client.
Rory. We've met.
Ainsley and I are both scouts.
She's the one that beats
me on cookie sells every year.
I beat everyone, not just you.
I'm very driven.
I wish ains had some of that drive
especially on our application
to Hinkley academy.
I'm applying there too.
We just came from core principles
and they do not hold back.
I'm so glad we finally got one here.
You should come with me some time.
I haven't gotten back to working out.
The dreaded fourth trimester.
Have you at least made it to drinkley's?
- It's a resto-bar.
- I don't get out much.
You must.
Drinkley's allows kids. Thank god.
Mommy can't cope without her gin.
Mommy loves her cocktails.
No, I don't. No, I don't.
Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
Let's do a bump.
And, I got you.
We should double date sometime.
You, me, Rob,
my husband Danny,
one of Hinkley hills' finest.
Officer Daniels is your husband?
Aren't small towns just the best?
We'll text.
- Are they always like that?
- Always.
- Ready to go?
- Yeah.
We got to stop one more place.
Judy, you look lovely as ever.
Are those new earrings or you just
look prettier after lunch?
I don't know how to answer that.
Well, I need the regimen.
Anyway, can I take a look
at those Hinkley hills
heralds we were talking about
- the other day from march 2005?
- No, I'm sorry,
they're still not back.
I can tell you, they are officially
- Overdue.
- Overdue?
That sounds like a disrespect
to the whole library system.
- Who would have done that?
- I've already said too much
Confidentiality code.
Okay. Hardcore like hip a a. I see you.
I guess I'll just have to come back.
No, I married fedora guy.
Recovering fedora guy.
Will you still love me if I relapse?
I sure won't. Hey, just kidding.
Babe, are you sure you
don't want me to take miles
with me to wine night?
It's very baby-friendly.
I've got miles on the monitor.
I'm a man who can multitask.
You're so cute.
My god.
You guys need to get a room.
I'm this close to confiscating his key.
I'm here to help clear.
Yeah. Okay. Well, you guys have fun,
but don't get too lit and
forget we had a baby.
Check this out.
I made us a nostalgia playlist.
I love being able to just pop over like this.
I still cannot believe
that you and Megan bought
the house next to my parents.
- It's quite "baby reindeer."
- I told you,
it's because Megan fell in love
with the open floor plan and natural light,
and not because I worship
the altar of Don Fisher,
which I absolutely do.
Doesn't it feel good to
Marie kondo everything, man?
I'm really leaning into
the whole minimalist look.
Because Megan took everything?
Yeah.
But now, I can moonwalk
from any point in my house
to another point in my house
without hitting anything,
so that's, a silver lining.
Can you believe this?
It's insane. How did I get here?
Physically or spiritually?
I'm turning my childhood bedroom
into a nursery for my son.
I have a son.
I always thought
that I'd beat you to having kids but
I never fucking beat you at anything.
Hey, you beat me to getting married
and then divorced.
And having a mustache.
Look at that guy.
- So wispy.
- So wispy.
I feel like my upper lip is pixelated.
Puberty was not kind.
You didn't tell me to shave that?
I think you would have needed
to shave a strong sneeze
and that thing would've gone.
Alison is not in here.
Are you surprised?
No, I
I just
What?
Everyone wanted to pretend
like she was never even there.
She probably just didn't
show up for picture day.
- Okay. Walk with me on this one.
- The hokas are on.
Gary Wilson, retired doctor, bought
what is effectively a rotting house
filled with ghost and secrets.
According to insiders, there's a rumor
that Alison grants' parents killed her
and buried her in the basement.
And then when I confronted Gary,
he said that his house had "good bones."
- Who says that?
- Real estate agents,
architectural preservationist.
Dogs, if they could speak.
Not the way he said it.
- How did he say it?
- Smirkingly.
- Exhibit b.
- What was exhibit a again?
It's the thing about the bones.
Exhibit b, Rob and I saw Gary
at the hardware store buying
what could conceivably be described
as a cart full of murder.
Axes, lighter fluid, and vinyl gloves,
which is shady as fuck.
Exhibit c, I had a paralegal at my firm
pull the records on the
house and apparently,
it was sold to a trust.
Yeah, that's right. That
means that whoever this guy is,
he's trying to hide his identity.
Gary Wilson might not
even be his real name,
which leads me to two
equally ineffable conclusions.
If Gary bought this house
because he's a murder enthusiast
obsessed with the promise
of a dead girl's bones or
He murdered Alison Grant 20 years ago
and had to come back
to Hinkley hills to bask
in the sick glory of
having gotten away with it.
Yes. And he could strike again.
Well, ma'am, thank you, ma'am.
- I rest my case.
- Holy shit.
Yeah, I don't think that makes sense.
I agree that Gary is a certified asshole
but, I mean, a murderer?
- It's
- I mean, you know me.
I will fully climb on to
that conspiracy train.
I mean, strap myself
in, give me some snacks.
- Thank you, Dana.
- I got you, girl.
I trust my gut, and my gut is screaming.
Now that you mention it,
I did see him in the woods
at night and it was a bit odd.
- If Todd says it's odd
- Say more.
- How are there more fedoras?
- I completely forgot
how horrible magazines were
about women's weights back in the day.
Check this out.
"How to get a summer
bikini body in 14 days."
14 days?
No wonder they all went psycho.
Anything fun in there?
Just junk, old cds.
Old cds? Yo.
You think you got some of my old mixes?
I would love to crawl under
the soul of early naveen.
What's in there?
- Nothing.
- You're shrugging.
I know you're being shady
when you're shrugging.
No, dude.
It's her phone.
Why the fuck do you
still have her phone?
I didn't know what else to do with it.
You gotta get rid of it.
- Get rid of it.
- Okay. I will.
Couldn't really tell what he was doing.
I had to give him space
because I was nude.
- In the woods? Go on.
- I was moon bathing.
- I love you, Todd.
- You're such a fucking freak
and I don't want you to ever change.
Say more about Gary.
He was digging a hole.
- How big?
- Hard to say.
I mean, not big but not small.
Person-sized?
Yeah. Could be.
Does anyone smell that?
Is that smoke?
I don't smell anything.
Am I having a stroke?
Other way around.
- That's a whole ass
- fire!
There's fire.
Yes, we have a fire in
the woods, ashfield place.
It's over by ashfield street
near ashfield crossing.
When can you get here?
I don't know, ma'am.
What do you mean you don't know?
Come on, we need urgency, man.
Jesus.
- Lynn, get some flashlights.
- On it.
Okay. We're gonna have to go in.
Wait, wait, shouldn't
we wait for the fire trucks,
let the professionals handle this?
We're gonna watch
our houses burn down.
So you're suggesting for
us to go towards the danger?
Yeah, it's the only way and I'm trained
in this situation, so
follow my lead. Let's go.
Here you go.
What's she doing?
- I don't know.
- Is she okay?
No, she's drunk.
It's further than I thought.
And what's the plan exactly?
What's wrong?
- Yeah.
- Damn trick knees.
It just went out.
- Trick knee? Since when?
- Yeah.
Go ahead in front of me.
And I'll flank the rear.
- Go ahead.
- You'll what the rear?
She's gonna flank it.
- What the hell?
- You okay?
Yeah, I'm good.
Is that Gary?
Mr. Party pants.
- What are you doing?
- I'm simply enjoying
a bonfire on my property,
which you can't seem
to stay off of, can you?
A fire like this, it's a little reckless.
Much like the mother of a newborn
traipsing around the woods at night.
How dare you.
You think you know what
it's like to be a new mother?
Mr. Wilson,
an open flame in this tinder
box with a wind forecast
for tonight, are you mad?
This is a clear violation
- of handbook code 281.
- That's right.
- Right there on paragraph five.
- Yes,
which goes on to state in paragraph six
that a fire pit is
permitted as long as it sits
at least 10 feet away
from a neighboring property line.
He's right.
Please let me know when you expect
to begin your renovations.
With historical properties
like hinckley house,
you need to submit your plans
to the hoa landmark committee
- for approval.
- I'll have everything in order.
I'll give a heads up to the local inspector.
He's a family friend.
Paragraph five.
Bev told me you were a lawyer.
Goodnight, neighbors.
I do hope I won't have
to make any more calls.
Enjoying my bonfire, my ass.
First I'm trespassing, now I'm traipsing.
Hey. How was wine night?
Great. Uneventful. Where's miles?
I just put him down.
- Why do you smell of smoke?
- Gary built a fire pit.
Gary was hanging out on wine night?
- No, he was in the woods.
- What happened?
- There was a little quibble.
- How little of a quibble?
You know, words were
said, things got a little heated.
- Babe.
- It's not like
- we're gonna be best friends.
- No shit.
Don't you think we should
know what he's up to?
Well, isn't it obvious?
I mean, that's why he was
buying an axe and lighter fluid
in the hardware store
because he was building
a fire pit, while also being an asshole.
Being into home
improvements and assholery
aren't exactly mutually
exclusive, are they?
True.
Please, can we move on
from the whole Gary thing
and just try to focus on our family?
Speaking of which,
I've got something exciting to show you.
Okay. Shut your eyes.
I may be giving this
too much of a buildup.
Please make sure I don't hit a wall.
Careful, careful. Right.
Now, it's not exactly a "queer eye" reveal
but it's something ready for
a new generation of fishers.
Okay.
You've put a dent in the place.
Miles Davis.
There was no way I was
painting this whole room
without getting your approval first.
It's perfect.
I'm not gonna lie, it kind
of matches your eyes.
I also changed all of the
locks to keep out naveen.
- I'll get it.
- No.
You've done enough for the night.
I'll go, take him for a walk.
- You sure?
- Yes.
Honey, miles is gonna be
so happy growing up here.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Good job.
We're just gonna say a quick goodnight.
Samira.
What are you doing here?
I just wanted to say thank you
for being there for me the past few days.
Well, I'm happy to be
and I'm happy you're here.
For you.
In case you ever need it.
Well, I'm honored
and humbled by this
symbol of your trust.
And know that if you
ever need someone,
I mean, Rob and I are glad
to keep a key safe for you too.
What a nice thought.
Goodnight, Samira.
Goodnight.
I think you'd like our
new neighbor, Marty.
Goodnight, my love.
The voice mailbox you
are trying to reach is full.
Please try your call again later.
Way to put ash in ashfield.
That motherfu