The Looney Tunes Show s01e02 Episode Script
Members Only
Hmm.
- Excuse me, sir.
The country club is for members only.
- Well, I'm a member.
- What's your membership number? - One.
I'm number one.
- One is not a valid membership number.
- Did I say one? I meant two.
- Sir, if you're not a member, I'm going to have to insist that you exit the property.
- Fine.
I don't want to belong to a club That would have me as a member, anyway.
- We don't have you as a member.
And you never will.
- Membership number? - 1673.
- Membership number? - 1673.
Looks like I have a new lucky number.
Fore! No, dummy, 1673! Oh! by warner bros.
Animation Membership number? - 1673, and this gentleman is my guest.
Welcome to royal oaks glen oaks oakwood oaks country club, Or R.
O.
G.
O.
O.
O.
C.
C.
, as us members call it.
- Daffy, how did you get into a country club? - I'm rich.
- No, you're not.
- I'm beloved in the community.
- No, you're not.
- Well, this is a real he said, she said situation.
Now, what do you feel like doing- Golf, tennis, swimming? We've got everything here at the R.
O.
G.
O.
- Uh- "R.
O.
G.
O.
O.
O.
C.
C.
" I'm up for some tennis.
- Not looking like that, you're not.
- Wow.
This place is pretty impressive.
- Oh, we only let in the real hoi polloi, The top philistines, the finest bourgeoisie.
You don't speak french.
I'm sorry for that.
Dickie! Aggie! Hugs, hugs, kiss, kiss.
Wanted to introduce you to my friend bugsy.
Bugsy, dickie.
Dickie, bugsy.
Aggie, dickie, bugsy, daffy, Dickie, aggie, dickie, bugsy.
Daffy- dickie.
Out.
What? Ow! Ace! 30-love! Ooh! Ooh! Hey.
This is ridiculous.
Ace! 40-love! Excuse me.
Excuse me! excuse me! Oh! Hi.
Oh! - Hey, game! Are you ok? - I don't know.
Do I look ok? I think you look great.
I think you look great, too.
Well, I still got it.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
I won the match while you were gone.
should have called time out.
- Then I guess we both won, 'cause I just scored a date with a beautiful woman.
She's perfect.
- Ohh! - Absolutely perfect.
- Can I get you anything to start? I'll have the carrot soup.
- Oh! - 2 carrot soups.
And try not to mix up our orders.
- Oh! ohh.
- I hate to jinx it, but this date is off to a pretty good start.
- You look very pretty.
I like your hair.
- Oh, thanks.
They're my ears.
- How long have you been playing tennis? - My whole life.
It's kind of my passion.
- Oh, sorry.
That's my phone.
Sorry.
Lot of stuff in here.
Makeup, keys, rubber band ball.
Deck of cards.
Stapler.
Flashlight.
Mini fan.
Oh! I like to record my thoughts.
Note to self, clean out your purse.
Oh! Here it is.
Hello? Hi! Oh.
Nothing.
I'm just on a date with a really cute guy.
He's sitting across from me right now.
He's totally looking at me.
Oh, no, wait.
Now he's looking down.
Now he's looking around.
Oh, no! He's looking at me again.
I better go.
Ok.
Call me later.
Ok.
Bye.
Friend of yours? Nope.
Wrong number.
Oh.
Is there butter in this? I'm not supposed to have butter.
I'm allergic to butter.
Oh! No, wait.
It's gluten, not butter.
I'm allergic to gluten.
No, wait.
Not gluten, pollen.
Oh, no.
Wait.
I love pollen.
Is there pollen in this? Can I get some pollen in this? You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't really want carrot soup.
Actually, maybe just one little taste.
Oh! Oh.
That's good.
Oh.
Maybe just one more.
Mmm.
Oh, one more.
Just one more.
Mm.
Mmm! You can really taste the pollen.
Are you going to eat yours? So, what do you have planned for after dinner? How about a movie? We'll just sit together - Watch a movie - Mmm.
- And not talk.
That'll be nice.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
This is so good.
I am so glad I'm not allergic to butter.
Do you like this movie? I love this movie.
Oh, it's so sad.
- Shh.
- But, like, uplifting, too.
- Shh! - It's like a feel-good movie, a sad feel-good movie.
It's funny also, and scary.
Oh! Oh! This is the best part.
Oh, no.
Wait.
This is the worst part.
Oh, I hate this part.
Oh.
I have to pee.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
Watch your leg.
Excuse me.
I love this part! Ooh, excuse me! No, sorry.
Going back.
Excuse me.
Excuse me! Sorry.
Excuse me.
Wow.
That was a good movie.
- And now, your feature presentation.
- So basically, to make a long story short- Wait.
What was I talking about? I have no idea.
- oh, my gosh.
I never peed.
- That was the worst date of my life.
- That was the best date of my life.
Wait.
Didn't I have to do something? Note to self, clean out your purse.
That's right.
no.
Don't answer that.
hi, bun-bun.
It's lola.
Just trying to get ahold of you.
Again.
So, anyway, Call me! If I don't hear back from you in the next minute or so, I'll just go ahead and call you again.
Bye.
- Sounds like she likes you.
You two going out again? - Not if I can help it.
That girl's exhausting.
I mean, I barely said a single word all night.
She just keeps talking and talking and talking.
It's like she doesn't know how to listen.
- sorry.
Were you saying something? Well, I'm off to the club.
There's a mahjongg tournament, And the goldbergs are going down.
you've got email! bun-bun! Ahh.
Lola.
Mmm! How crazy to bump into you here.
Did you get my messages? - Oh, yeah.
I-uh- I haven't been home.
I've just been really busy.
I had to go here, And now, I have to go somewhere else.
- Oh.
I'll give it to him.
We're a couple.
It's pretty serious.
Ooh.
- Beep, beep! Oh, my gosh! We got into a car wreck! Now we have to exchange information.
What! Oh, my gosh.
You like bread? How crazy is that! I like bread.
We're like soul mates.
- I just remembered, I'm lateFor that thing.
- He likes milk, too? Oh.
This is getting scary.
We both like milk! Hi! - Oh! - Oof! - Bun-bun! Help him! Oh, thank you.
Your body looks crazy.
You should do more cardio and less weights.
Oh, thank goodness you're ok.
I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you.
- Lola, I can't see you anymore.
- Say what? - I-I just don't think we're right for each other.
Well Don't cry.
Oh, my god.
No.
- Please.
Please, don't cry.
Why? - Lola, please.
I didn't mean it.
Really? So you want to go out again? - Fine.
- Yay! We're back together, everybody.
We just had our first fight.
But I think we're stronger for it.
I feel very hurt.
Do you feel very hurt? - No.
- See you at lunch.
- Could you drop that thing on me again? every time you see me you earthlings turn and run I don't know what your problem is I'm really super fun I'm a martian not a great white shark I'm a martian I like frisbee in the park come over to my party it's not that long a trip you'll be glad you made the journey for my 7-layer dip I like sharing cheese pizza you see, I'm not so bad do you like little puppies? I make them in my lab I'm a martian I hold for you no ill will a martian does some need a chill pill? my name's marvin, I'm a martian la-la la-la lee, la-la lee lee lou let's share a lemon soda and talk about our feelings but don't insult my helmet 'cause then, I'll hit the ceiling I've got a laser and it's pointed at your planet it's my laser so don't take me for granted I'm a martian boom shaka-laka I'm a martian shaka-laka- Boom.
Pardon me, doll.
Another round of arnold palmers.
Put it on 1673.
Now, ladies, What I'm about to tell you does not leave this table.
Estelle and abe are breaking up.
You didn't hear it from me, But apparently, abe prefers blondes.
Don't get your hopes up, phyllis-natural blondes.
- Hi, estelle.
Give my regards to abe.
Time for plan "b.
" Where is bugs? bugs bunny? You know him? Oh, I know him.
Bugs bunny is the worst man I've ever met! Bugs bunny is a saint.
- That's what he'd have you believe.
Let me guess- you met him on a tennis court? unbelievable.
Let me give you a little piece of advice, girl to girl? If you don't want your heart shattered into a million pieces, You'll break up with bugs bunny today.
- Hey, lola.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh, I'm not.
I just had a very interesting conversation With an ugly woman.
- Ugly? - Very ugly.
But she told me something that has me looking at you In an entirely different way.
Bugs bunny, you Are a bad boy.
I've never been with a bad boy before.
That makes me a bad girl.
meow! - Lola! Over here, darling! - Who are they? - My parents.
It's about time you guys met.
Be on your best behavior, bad boy.
- Bugs.
lola's told us so much about you.
- She doesn't know anything about me.
- see? Told you he was funny.
Oh, he's wonderful.
- Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
You have to end this.
I don't care if she cries.
I don't care that her parents are there.
She's crazy, and this ends now.
And you are not an ugly woman.
Ooh! A mint.
Thanks for the pep talk.
You can do this.
It's like ripping off a bandage.
- I don't know what it is, but it's like we complete each other.
- Ooh! - We're soul mates! Ooh! Yes! - What? - Of course I'll marry you! - Huh? - Ahem.
My daughter's getting married.
To the future mr.
And mrs.
Bugs bunny, And the son I never had.
Bravo! Oh, it's so romantic! Why are we clapping? - One of the club members just got engaged.
- Darling, send the happy couple a bottle of your best bubbly, Compliments of 1673.
- Someone's bucking for club president.
- Well, you know what they say, First comes love, then comes marriage, Then comes lots of bunnies in a baby carriage.
Ooh! Ehh Wait until you meet pepe.
He's the wedding planner for the r.
O.
G.
O.
O.
O.
C.
C.
- Can't you people just say country club? - Lola, mon cherie.
Mwah! Mwah! And this must be the lucky groom.
Mwah! Mwah! Mmm.
So lucky.
So, so lucky.
Your wedding day is the single most important day of your life.
I should know- I've been married 7 times.
Now, I'm seeing an outdoor ceremony.
You should feel the beauty of nature embracing you As you walk down the aisle, The smell of honeysuckle kissing your cheeks As you exchange your vows.
Ugh.
- There won't be a dry eye in the house.
- I'll be crying harder than anyone.
- What's wrong, bun-bun? You don't want a big wedding? Well, we could have a small wedding, Or a wedding on the beach.
Or we could get married in vegas.
Or we could just go down to the courthouse right now! Or - We could just not get married.
What is going on with you? This isn't the bugs I know! Mwah! Love you.
Don't forget, we're having dinner with my parents.
Mmm.
So lucky.
Good game, nakamora.
Sorry about losing my temper on 14.
And for throwing your clubs in the water.
Go buy yourself a new set.
Charge it to 1673.
Ooh! I haven't crashed a wedding in a few months.
- Ahh.
Are you a guest of the bride or the groom? Please say the groom.
- I don't know either of them, But if there's more of these guys, I'll sit wherever you want.
what are you doing here? Did you sneak into the club using Someone else's membership number? disgraceful.
- I didn't sneak in.
This is my wedding.
you're getting married? And you didn't ask me to be the best man? You didn't even invite me! Do not expect a quality wedding gift from me.
We are gathered here today To celebrate the marriage of bugs and lola.
Before we begin, if anyone objects to this marriage, Speak now, or forever hold your peace.
I object.
- What? - I'm sorry, bun-bun.
I know how much you love me, But I can't marry you, Because I'm in love with someone else.
I'm in love with him.
- You know what they say- the eighth time's a charm.
- Will you ever get over me? - It's going to take a long time.
We probably shouldn't talk for a while.
- I understand.
Peppers! So lucky.
So, so lucky.
Bugs bunny.
Dumped.
I've been there, brother.
You'll never get over it.
Let me buy you some golf clubs.
Waiter! Bring this man your finest set of golf clubs, And charge it to 1673! That's my membership number.
Meep meep! Meep meep! Mint? A dollar! - Thank you.
I hate the r.
O.
G.
O.
O.
O.
- Oh-oh, I hate this place!
- Excuse me, sir.
The country club is for members only.
- Well, I'm a member.
- What's your membership number? - One.
I'm number one.
- One is not a valid membership number.
- Did I say one? I meant two.
- Sir, if you're not a member, I'm going to have to insist that you exit the property.
- Fine.
I don't want to belong to a club That would have me as a member, anyway.
- We don't have you as a member.
And you never will.
- Membership number? - 1673.
- Membership number? - 1673.
Looks like I have a new lucky number.
Fore! No, dummy, 1673! Oh! by warner bros.
Animation Membership number? - 1673, and this gentleman is my guest.
Welcome to royal oaks glen oaks oakwood oaks country club, Or R.
O.
G.
O.
O.
O.
C.
C.
, as us members call it.
- Daffy, how did you get into a country club? - I'm rich.
- No, you're not.
- I'm beloved in the community.
- No, you're not.
- Well, this is a real he said, she said situation.
Now, what do you feel like doing- Golf, tennis, swimming? We've got everything here at the R.
O.
G.
O.
- Uh- "R.
O.
G.
O.
O.
O.
C.
C.
" I'm up for some tennis.
- Not looking like that, you're not.
- Wow.
This place is pretty impressive.
- Oh, we only let in the real hoi polloi, The top philistines, the finest bourgeoisie.
You don't speak french.
I'm sorry for that.
Dickie! Aggie! Hugs, hugs, kiss, kiss.
Wanted to introduce you to my friend bugsy.
Bugsy, dickie.
Dickie, bugsy.
Aggie, dickie, bugsy, daffy, Dickie, aggie, dickie, bugsy.
Daffy- dickie.
Out.
What? Ow! Ace! 30-love! Ooh! Ooh! Hey.
This is ridiculous.
Ace! 40-love! Excuse me.
Excuse me! excuse me! Oh! Hi.
Oh! - Hey, game! Are you ok? - I don't know.
Do I look ok? I think you look great.
I think you look great, too.
Well, I still got it.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
I won the match while you were gone.
should have called time out.
- Then I guess we both won, 'cause I just scored a date with a beautiful woman.
She's perfect.
- Ohh! - Absolutely perfect.
- Can I get you anything to start? I'll have the carrot soup.
- Oh! - 2 carrot soups.
And try not to mix up our orders.
- Oh! ohh.
- I hate to jinx it, but this date is off to a pretty good start.
- You look very pretty.
I like your hair.
- Oh, thanks.
They're my ears.
- How long have you been playing tennis? - My whole life.
It's kind of my passion.
- Oh, sorry.
That's my phone.
Sorry.
Lot of stuff in here.
Makeup, keys, rubber band ball.
Deck of cards.
Stapler.
Flashlight.
Mini fan.
Oh! I like to record my thoughts.
Note to self, clean out your purse.
Oh! Here it is.
Hello? Hi! Oh.
Nothing.
I'm just on a date with a really cute guy.
He's sitting across from me right now.
He's totally looking at me.
Oh, no, wait.
Now he's looking down.
Now he's looking around.
Oh, no! He's looking at me again.
I better go.
Ok.
Call me later.
Ok.
Bye.
Friend of yours? Nope.
Wrong number.
Oh.
Is there butter in this? I'm not supposed to have butter.
I'm allergic to butter.
Oh! No, wait.
It's gluten, not butter.
I'm allergic to gluten.
No, wait.
Not gluten, pollen.
Oh, no.
Wait.
I love pollen.
Is there pollen in this? Can I get some pollen in this? You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't really want carrot soup.
Actually, maybe just one little taste.
Oh! Oh.
That's good.
Oh.
Maybe just one more.
Mmm.
Oh, one more.
Just one more.
Mm.
Mmm! You can really taste the pollen.
Are you going to eat yours? So, what do you have planned for after dinner? How about a movie? We'll just sit together - Watch a movie - Mmm.
- And not talk.
That'll be nice.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
This is so good.
I am so glad I'm not allergic to butter.
Do you like this movie? I love this movie.
Oh, it's so sad.
- Shh.
- But, like, uplifting, too.
- Shh! - It's like a feel-good movie, a sad feel-good movie.
It's funny also, and scary.
Oh! Oh! This is the best part.
Oh, no.
Wait.
This is the worst part.
Oh, I hate this part.
Oh.
I have to pee.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
Watch your leg.
Excuse me.
I love this part! Ooh, excuse me! No, sorry.
Going back.
Excuse me.
Excuse me! Sorry.
Excuse me.
Wow.
That was a good movie.
- And now, your feature presentation.
- So basically, to make a long story short- Wait.
What was I talking about? I have no idea.
- oh, my gosh.
I never peed.
- That was the worst date of my life.
- That was the best date of my life.
Wait.
Didn't I have to do something? Note to self, clean out your purse.
That's right.
no.
Don't answer that.
hi, bun-bun.
It's lola.
Just trying to get ahold of you.
Again.
So, anyway, Call me! If I don't hear back from you in the next minute or so, I'll just go ahead and call you again.
Bye.
- Sounds like she likes you.
You two going out again? - Not if I can help it.
That girl's exhausting.
I mean, I barely said a single word all night.
She just keeps talking and talking and talking.
It's like she doesn't know how to listen.
- sorry.
Were you saying something? Well, I'm off to the club.
There's a mahjongg tournament, And the goldbergs are going down.
you've got email! bun-bun! Ahh.
Lola.
Mmm! How crazy to bump into you here.
Did you get my messages? - Oh, yeah.
I-uh- I haven't been home.
I've just been really busy.
I had to go here, And now, I have to go somewhere else.
- Oh.
I'll give it to him.
We're a couple.
It's pretty serious.
Ooh.
- Beep, beep! Oh, my gosh! We got into a car wreck! Now we have to exchange information.
What! Oh, my gosh.
You like bread? How crazy is that! I like bread.
We're like soul mates.
- I just remembered, I'm lateFor that thing.
- He likes milk, too? Oh.
This is getting scary.
We both like milk! Hi! - Oh! - Oof! - Bun-bun! Help him! Oh, thank you.
Your body looks crazy.
You should do more cardio and less weights.
Oh, thank goodness you're ok.
I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you.
- Lola, I can't see you anymore.
- Say what? - I-I just don't think we're right for each other.
Well Don't cry.
Oh, my god.
No.
- Please.
Please, don't cry.
Why? - Lola, please.
I didn't mean it.
Really? So you want to go out again? - Fine.
- Yay! We're back together, everybody.
We just had our first fight.
But I think we're stronger for it.
I feel very hurt.
Do you feel very hurt? - No.
- See you at lunch.
- Could you drop that thing on me again? every time you see me you earthlings turn and run I don't know what your problem is I'm really super fun I'm a martian not a great white shark I'm a martian I like frisbee in the park come over to my party it's not that long a trip you'll be glad you made the journey for my 7-layer dip I like sharing cheese pizza you see, I'm not so bad do you like little puppies? I make them in my lab I'm a martian I hold for you no ill will a martian does some need a chill pill? my name's marvin, I'm a martian la-la la-la lee, la-la lee lee lou let's share a lemon soda and talk about our feelings but don't insult my helmet 'cause then, I'll hit the ceiling I've got a laser and it's pointed at your planet it's my laser so don't take me for granted I'm a martian boom shaka-laka I'm a martian shaka-laka- Boom.
Pardon me, doll.
Another round of arnold palmers.
Put it on 1673.
Now, ladies, What I'm about to tell you does not leave this table.
Estelle and abe are breaking up.
You didn't hear it from me, But apparently, abe prefers blondes.
Don't get your hopes up, phyllis-natural blondes.
- Hi, estelle.
Give my regards to abe.
Time for plan "b.
" Where is bugs? bugs bunny? You know him? Oh, I know him.
Bugs bunny is the worst man I've ever met! Bugs bunny is a saint.
- That's what he'd have you believe.
Let me guess- you met him on a tennis court? unbelievable.
Let me give you a little piece of advice, girl to girl? If you don't want your heart shattered into a million pieces, You'll break up with bugs bunny today.
- Hey, lola.
Sorry I'm late.
Oh, I'm not.
I just had a very interesting conversation With an ugly woman.
- Ugly? - Very ugly.
But she told me something that has me looking at you In an entirely different way.
Bugs bunny, you Are a bad boy.
I've never been with a bad boy before.
That makes me a bad girl.
meow! - Lola! Over here, darling! - Who are they? - My parents.
It's about time you guys met.
Be on your best behavior, bad boy.
- Bugs.
lola's told us so much about you.
- She doesn't know anything about me.
- see? Told you he was funny.
Oh, he's wonderful.
- Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
You have to end this.
I don't care if she cries.
I don't care that her parents are there.
She's crazy, and this ends now.
And you are not an ugly woman.
Ooh! A mint.
Thanks for the pep talk.
You can do this.
It's like ripping off a bandage.
- I don't know what it is, but it's like we complete each other.
- Ooh! - We're soul mates! Ooh! Yes! - What? - Of course I'll marry you! - Huh? - Ahem.
My daughter's getting married.
To the future mr.
And mrs.
Bugs bunny, And the son I never had.
Bravo! Oh, it's so romantic! Why are we clapping? - One of the club members just got engaged.
- Darling, send the happy couple a bottle of your best bubbly, Compliments of 1673.
- Someone's bucking for club president.
- Well, you know what they say, First comes love, then comes marriage, Then comes lots of bunnies in a baby carriage.
Ooh! Ehh Wait until you meet pepe.
He's the wedding planner for the r.
O.
G.
O.
O.
O.
C.
C.
- Can't you people just say country club? - Lola, mon cherie.
Mwah! Mwah! And this must be the lucky groom.
Mwah! Mwah! Mmm.
So lucky.
So, so lucky.
Your wedding day is the single most important day of your life.
I should know- I've been married 7 times.
Now, I'm seeing an outdoor ceremony.
You should feel the beauty of nature embracing you As you walk down the aisle, The smell of honeysuckle kissing your cheeks As you exchange your vows.
Ugh.
- There won't be a dry eye in the house.
- I'll be crying harder than anyone.
- What's wrong, bun-bun? You don't want a big wedding? Well, we could have a small wedding, Or a wedding on the beach.
Or we could get married in vegas.
Or we could just go down to the courthouse right now! Or - We could just not get married.
What is going on with you? This isn't the bugs I know! Mwah! Love you.
Don't forget, we're having dinner with my parents.
Mmm.
So lucky.
Good game, nakamora.
Sorry about losing my temper on 14.
And for throwing your clubs in the water.
Go buy yourself a new set.
Charge it to 1673.
Ooh! I haven't crashed a wedding in a few months.
- Ahh.
Are you a guest of the bride or the groom? Please say the groom.
- I don't know either of them, But if there's more of these guys, I'll sit wherever you want.
what are you doing here? Did you sneak into the club using Someone else's membership number? disgraceful.
- I didn't sneak in.
This is my wedding.
you're getting married? And you didn't ask me to be the best man? You didn't even invite me! Do not expect a quality wedding gift from me.
We are gathered here today To celebrate the marriage of bugs and lola.
Before we begin, if anyone objects to this marriage, Speak now, or forever hold your peace.
I object.
- What? - I'm sorry, bun-bun.
I know how much you love me, But I can't marry you, Because I'm in love with someone else.
I'm in love with him.
- You know what they say- the eighth time's a charm.
- Will you ever get over me? - It's going to take a long time.
We probably shouldn't talk for a while.
- I understand.
Peppers! So lucky.
So, so lucky.
Bugs bunny.
Dumped.
I've been there, brother.
You'll never get over it.
Let me buy you some golf clubs.
Waiter! Bring this man your finest set of golf clubs, And charge it to 1673! That's my membership number.
Meep meep! Meep meep! Mint? A dollar! - Thank you.
I hate the r.
O.
G.
O.
O.
O.
- Oh-oh, I hate this place!