The Trades (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Is she toast?
Van Halen is finally dead.
She's being towed
in a few hours.
Thanks for trying.
Sorry.
She's "Running With
The Devil" now.
Packed you a lunch.
Whoa!
Here's your tool belt.
Cool.
One of my buckets.
People might think it's
cool or you might get chirped,
we'll see.
Todd.
It's pretty old and shitty,
just like your van.
Jam and cheese,
your favourite.
Yeah, in, like,
grade five.
Thanks though.
Lunch is sacred.
That's when you really
get to know people,
on a personal level.
I'm thinking day one
start a rumour about myself.
That's actually clever.
I'm gonna borrow that.
Oh yeah? What rumour
would you start?
I don't know.
Maybe that I'm a
badass black belt.
Okay, that's not what I
thought you were gonna say.
What'd you think
I was gonna say,
that I won the salmon derby?
No. I thought you were gonna
say that you have a big
A big truck?
A big what?
Nevermind.
Let's drive.
Todd:
You're probably overqualified.
I just work with a Foreman,
couldn't even read.
What?
- Seriously.
His wife wrote all his emails.
No one caught on until
he was asked to take
notes at a meeting.
The guy drew pictures.
Pictures?
Going home to
get some Petey?
Okay.
That guy did
not look so hot.
People that survive in
here are built differently.
Book smarts are
important today.
Yeah.
Street smarts are for survival
once you're sworn in.
Dude, I grew up with
the trades, okay?
I can play ball.
Don't wear make-up.
Make eye contact,
but not too much.
Don't lease a truck after
your first paycheque.
Don't bang a trades guy.
Or piss off a foreman.
How 'bout don't bang
or piss off anyone?
Everyone here is either
raising their kids
or raising their truck.
I think I need to
blend in better.
I suggest more plaid.
Take up fishing.
Ugh!
My lady.
Did Charles say anything
about expectations?
Cuz I'm gonna need
a couple of weeks
to get the lay
of the land.
Jamar:
Call me when
you need help.
Chelsea:
Thank you.
Ah, no cell phones
on the floor.
Oh, thank you, again.
They're
always listening.
It's off.
All good.
Todd:
Can't throw that out.
Fuck.
Classic Bennett.
This the Site Manager's office?
Ah, yeah.
Seems like it's
already occupied.
No. Are you from head office?
I certainly am.
And you must be
Todd Stool.
So not the guy
who's in a coma.
Not yet.
Well, thanks Todd.
I've heard great
things about you.
The German Robot.
Way to be thinking ahead.
Todd:
Who
the fuck are you?
Thank you.
Greetings from
Alberta Oil Country.
I'm Charles Conch,
CEO of Conch Industries.
We're here to learn
from yesterday
to build a stronger
and a safer tomorrow.
Alright, and that douche
nozzle is the owner.
Okay, we'll come
back to that later.
How today works is,
we're gonna do a quiet
walk around of the plant,
get acquainted.
We're gonna come back,
watch some more videos
and you will continue
to shut the fuck up.
And then we're
gonna take a test.
Now, it's an easy test.
Don't worry, in my
forty years working here,
no one has ever
failed this test.
Although, one of you dipshits
might be the first one.
Okay, suit up.
We have to wear
this stuff all day?
Except the harness.
Ah, we, got, ah,
special ones for you
so it doesn't damage the,
ah, the-the-the-the, ah,
you know, the-the-the-the
underground there.
Stop pointing at it.
Right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
We're trying really hard to
accommodate for the ladies,
you see.
We order some
extra-small coveralls
and I hear that they
serve Pinot Grigio
at the union meetings.
Okay. All right.
Anyways, wear that gear
it's gonna save your life.
You wear it in the winter.
You wear it in the heat.
No one said making money was
gonna be comfortable, right?
Unless you're on your back.
Audrey:
You wanna end up on yours?
Todd:
She was all business.
You know
She's hot.
She could be a detective
investigating Bennett's
attempted murder.
Homer. It was an overdose.
She walked in on me
when I was in his office
and there was drugs everywhere
and some weird porn.
Nice.
- Steph: How much?
The drugs or the porn?
Both.
Why were you in there?
I was just cleaning it up.
They're gonna fill it
with someone, right?
Mm-hmm.
Hey Stephanie, what was
it you were saying about
them bringing
out the podium?
Yeah, they're draggin'
it outta storage.
Backwoods:
You see that?
You know what that means?
- Todd: What?
You are getting a promotion,
my man.
Homer:
Ah, I don't know.
This feels like a
false flag to me.
Thanks a lot, Mr. Negative.
Steph:
You know they are
gonna want a photo
and nothing I'm seeing
here is screaming "Boss."
Oh, lady's right,
you stink a little.
You need to go
brush your teeth.
Clean your fingernails, man.
I'm not changing shit.
You're all trying
to hype me up here.
His ears don't
match his head.
Anyway to make 'em smaller?
God, you're right.
- What?
I mean, I don't think we
have time for surgery
but we can remove some hair.
Maybe shape these brows.
Wow, you are
extra oily today.
Backwoods:
Lady's right again.
Holy shit.
Looks like your
forehead's so greasy
my eyes are just
sliding right off it.
Shut up.
But look, I'm serious.
No one's gonna say it,
I'm gonna have to,
you might have to cut off
the old bologna tail.
Not happening!
I didn't want it.
I was wondering
what that stench
Yes, yes, whatever.
Apologies for my,
ah, tardiness.
I had, um, engineering
stuff to do.
So checking the flow rates on
the beer bottles last night?
Alright, just don't
touch anything
smarter people are
working on, Taser.
Backwoods: Hey Medhi.
- Yeah?
Why do they bring
out the podium?
Somebody's getting promoted.
Not reprimanded?
No, no, no.
They don't send head
office for a spanking.
Fucking told you!
Steph:
Fuck. We are gonna
have to clean you up.
Jimi:
Alright, come on.
Pick it up. Pick it up.
Three points of
contact at all times.
This does serve a purpose.
Hey man, when can we smoke?
We're getting paid
for today, right?
You can't and yes.
Boiler coming
up on the left.
Very hot.
Got a condenser
to your right.
Red valve. Very hot.
That's a oil drain.
Whoa! I know you.
Remember I burned you
a CD in high school?
You were going through
a punk rock phase.
Oh yeah. You do know me.
I'm Todd's sister.
Yes, that's you.
I never forget a face. Ever.
Oh.
- Oh these.
We're gonna give your
a bro a makeover
before he gets promoted.
To Site Manager?
So it's actually happening?
He's gonna be head honcho.
Big wig from the city
is here to bless him.
Jimi:
Hey Dewey,
what the fuck?
You corrupting the rooks?
What are you doing?
Leave 'em alone.
Where'd you get those?
You know you have
a whack of shit
you didn't return yesterday.
Oh yeah, you did.
I brought them back.
Oh, you're minding your
own business now, Dewey?
Steph:
Sit your ass down.
Ow!
- Oh yeah.
Go with the grain.
Go with the grain.
Steph:
I'm doing it.
I'm doing that.
Ah!
Careful back there.
Here comes the airplane.
It's pretty
clean back there.
Gimme that! Geezus.
In a circular motion.
Is this not overkill?
What difference is
this gonna make?
I don't need make-up!
Taser:
You do!
That's what you think.
- Haha.
Steph:
Pliers.
Backwoods, hold him.
Backwoods:
I got him. I got him.
Steph:
Hold him still!
Ow!
Steph:
You're disgusting.
Dewer. Hit me!
Bye bye, bologna.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
Gimme those!
Everybody out.
Aw.
Get the fuck out.
Backwoods:
Aw, we were helping. Pussy.
Steph:
Pretty boy. Pretty boy.
Ladders and stairs
are commonly used
in the construction process
to access high up areas.
Charles Conch :
It's crucial to
give my workers
thorough training on how
to pick the right ladder
or the right stairs,
how to set 'em up proper
and how to climb
up safely.
Hey, ah, you're
missing the video.
Am I?
No. Definitely not.
fellow workers to keep
their workspaces clean.
Sweet bucket.
Audrey:
Thank you.
So I've just came
in to say 'hello'.
Looks like you're
all pretty busy.
What trade are you?
Ah, carpenters. Potentially.
If I can make it
through this video.
Always keep the three
points of contact
when you're
climbing up on
Oh, there's Charles.
Stiff as a board.
You know that guy?
Yeah, you could
call him my mentor.
Or my boss.
Ahhh.
I bet you have
another name for him.
Audrey:
Are you, like, in finance
or something important?
Oh, no.
I'm the new Site Manager.
Oh. Are there two
Site Managers here?
No, just me.
Are you sure?
- Positive.
Wow. Okay, cool.
Um, it was really
nice to meet you.
Well, we're in a
non-designated area.
Don't get caught.
When I'm in charge, only
people will push the product.
You people are the product.
Get ready for the
right kind of change.
If it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
Don't be a pussy.
Hey.
Todd, it's not you.
Are you crazy?
No phones in the plant!
Um
Guys, I'm gonna
use the bathroom.
Feel free to continue
the training without me,
but just don't
start the test.
That dude said no one leaves,
so we're not covering for ya.
Can you grab me a coffee?
Two sugars please.
That was fuckin' rude.
Weird.
Steph!
Todd's sister!
I didn't think you'd
go through with it.
Yeah. Surprise.
I'll tell you all about it,
but first I need to find Todd.
Where do meetings happen?
Oh, the meeting's
in heavy machinery.
Just follow the signage.
What's up, guys?
Steph, still breaking hearts?
One at a time.
Yo, you can't be here
on a Visitor's Pass.
Oh no, this is
TaterTodd's sister.
Oh. Good to meet you.
This area's off
limits for visitors.
Rules are rules.
Now, follow me back
to the entrance.
Sorry man, it's a
family emergency!
Marcus:
Really?
No running, man!
I just put up the sign!
Marcus:
And she's quick!
I'll send you
a hundred bucks,
you let me borrow the
suit for a couple days
and I get to pop the hood on
this thing, surveillance style.
You like? You dig?
Oh, look at that!
- Holy shit!
Ready for the new position?
Your neck must be so cold!
Todd:
Here we go!
What the fuck are
you doing here?
Get up there.
- Okay.
Go do it, Todd.
Three points of contact
in the stairwells!
This is bullshit!
I know!
Hey! No running, man!
You know the rules!
Stomp to the death.
Audrey:
Sucker!
What's up John?
Hey, you know my dad!
Marcus:
I can do this all day!
Audrey:
Holy shit, this guy
never gets tired!
Conchie!
How's everybody doing?
I guess I'm gonna have to
get used to doing this
a lot more now.
Hey.
- Thank you.
Good afternoon,
I'm Chelsea.
Ah, wait, sorry.
We have a ritual to
start our meetings.
I thought I was gonna
get it this time.
You can't be in here without
proper eyewear, man!
Gimme those!
I gotta go warn my brother!
Please, Marcus.
Once again, I'm Chelsea.
I was Manager of Oil and
Gas Operations out west.
What we extracted out
there was sent here
and you talented
folks refine it.
Now it's no surprise,
I hope,
that the previous era
under Randy Bennett
fell short of what this
place is capable of.
I wish him a
speedy recovery.
But this plant,
in fact all of you,
deserve better.
Todd.
This refinery should be one of
the most competitive facilities
on the planet.
Thank you, Chelsea.
I really appreciate
someone from head office
showing up to make
this transition so special.
Todd!
Todd!
Todd!
I guess some people are more
excited about my promotion
than I am.
I think you should
let me finish.
And I wanna give a really
big shout out to corporate
for finally promoting
homegrown talent.
Wow! I've never had an
introduction quite like this,
but I'll take it!
Thank you all
for welcoming me
as your new Site Manager
here at Imperial Valley.
Did she say
she's the Site Manager?
You can sit down now.
Thank you.
So I'm looking forward
to getting to know
each and every
one of you.
Backwoods:
Don't worry about it, brother,
you'll get it next time.
Yeah, sometimes I'm wrong.
I don't give a fuck.
Those are the rules.
You leave, you fail.
Then you were
gone when I, uh
When you woke up
from your nap?
If you're done
with your test,
you can fuck off!
C'mon Jimi, I-I was on a
humanitarian mission, okay.
That failed.
Yeah, that's two fails.
My brother just got
honey-dicked, okay.
He thought he was being
promoted to Site Manager
and then they boned him.
Her brother's Todd Stool.
Oh, you're Todd's sister.
Yeah, you have
the same forehead.
Last time I seen you, your Papa
was pushing you in a stroller.
I grew up with your dad.
Went to high school together.
Rode the same bus.
Shit, rode the
same cheerleader.
Wow.
It's an absolute pleasure
to be looking at
Roddy Stool's cumshot.
What the fuck?
Well, I'm-I'm glad my
dad didn't pull out.
You dudes have
a nice chat.
Was that? Did I? Was that?
Was that? Did I
Jimi, I'm just trying
to change my life here.
Oh. Alright.
You've got 20 minutes.
Better get at it Ms. Stool.
And another thing:
Who the fuck is
Chelsea Nakamura?
If I fail, can I apply
for other trades?
Is that, like,
even allowed?
There are twelve other
locals you could hit up.
Yeah, there's
definitely options.
Todd!
Just hold up a second.
There was a lot of
confusion here today.
Oh, you think?
Well, oversight
is to be expected
during transitions
like this.
Well, you just, like, use
the phone or send an email.
Look, I'm sorry if that
I guess today was probably
weird for you, too.
I'm gonna need your
help with this transition.
Now, a good Site Manager is
only as good as her foreman.
Do you see that
being a problem?
Todd:
Well, I guess we'll find out.
Hey, I hope your
test went well.
Audrey:
Oh my gosh.
It's fucked.
Hello?
Todd'er? It's Jimi.
Yeah, I heard about
what happened today.
Hey Jimi, thanks
for calling.
I appreciate it, man.
That was not easy for sure.
Yeah, yeah. That's
not why I'm calling.
I'm callin' about
your sister.
How'd she do?
Jimi:
She smashed her test in
under 20 minutos, pal.
I mean, she squeaked the 70.
But I-I gotta say,
I gotta
I said some weird
shit, you know,
and I might've mentioned
your dad's ballsack
and ejaculation and
stuff and I-I
Todd:
I'm sure it's alright.
She's a big girl.
Jimi :
Anyway, I'm calling to get
the green light from you.
You know you've got the
final say here, pal.
Todd:
Not my call, Jimi.
If she qualifies,
put her in.
I mean, that's how
it happened with me.
I got in on my own
Right?
Don't flatter yourself, kid.
Your daddy put
in some calls.
Of course he did.
Jimi :
What do ya say?
I get her on a permit
and see how she does?
You don't need my permission.
Okay, well that's good because
I already put it through.
Ciao.
- Thanks Jimi.
Well done.
Yes!
I put "D" for every answer.
Hang on.
Listening to the game.
Hey, do me a favour
keep the promotion
fail on the down low.
That is exactly not
how our family operates.
This isn't a pity party.
Let's celebrate you passing.
Even if it was just barely.
But this is it.
You're workin'!
Dad's gonna be stoked.
Auds.
Thanks for trying to save me
from whatever the
fuck happened today.
I got ya.
Love you.
What'd you get?
Pizza.
Rod:
Got more commercials
than game is what I got.
You sell one thing and
you do it properly.
Anyway, what's-what's
the deal?
Is there any news?
Well, it is official
I'm on permit.
Permit?
Yeah.
Well there goes our
discount at Jean Dream.
Oh, I never even
thought about that.
Yeah. Things to
think about, huh?
Oh man.
Seriously. Way to go
that was so good.
Ahhh!
A carpenter!
- I know! I know!
I'm one of you guys now!
There ya go.
Thank you.
You cut your hair!
It was time.
Did you save it
for the scrapbook?
Dad, I'm not ten.
That's too bad, man.
That thing had a good run.
Needed to look
more professional.
I was supposed to get
my photo taken today.
What for?
Oh, look who's here guys?
Ahoy!
Audrey:
What's up?
Backwoods:
Just came in to check
on our boy here.
See how he's doing. Brother.
Roddy, how's you going?
Good, Reggie. Good.
Your old man get
his hip done?
Yep, both. Got the
two for one special.
Oh.
- Reggie: No, no thanks.
Well, cheers to not having
to wear a fucking tie.
Ah, who wears a tie?
It's weird.
What, you guys
haven't told him yet?
Told me-told me what?
It's nothing.
You sure you
don't want any?
No, I'm good.
- It's good.
Actually, you know what?
It is something.
I got leapfrogged
by a corporate MBA
in a skirt and heels.
She breezed right in and
took the Site Manager's job
without ever stepping
foot on the site.
I mean, how is that right?
Seems like no one gets
in on merit anymore.
Look at the crop of apprentices
you've been given lately.
Tell me about it.
We're scraping the bottom
of the goddamn barrel.
Hey now! You do
realize that I'm new
and I don't know
what I'm doing yet.
Everyone except you.
You decided to join the
trades like three days ago.
It took me months
to get in.
And Trade school.
You and everyone else are
just so casual about it.
And the new boss,
Chelsea, is the same.
She waltzes in and it's
gonna take her forever
to understand everything.
I could've started today.
Have you stopped to consider
that maybe you're just not
the right person for the job?
Well, outta respect I'm
gonna take this bad boy, yoink,
and smoke it out there.
Cool.
So you got passed up?
Yep.
Rod:
The little guy doesn't get
in on the boardroom chatter.
Corporate they-they play
in a different field
than tradesmen.
And women now.
Thank you.
Rod:
It's nothing new,
you know,
don't act surprised.
Everyone in that fucking
room saw how surprised I was.
Yeah, I know.
Jimi told me.
Goddamn Jimi.
Look, it's embarrassing.
It is, okay. But come on.
There's worse tragedies, huh?
You kids are so
fucking lucky.
When I started there
was like no work. Zero.
We fought for every hour.
Guys would shovel the
foreman's driveway
just in hopes of getting some
kind of favour from him.
And you, please, don't
be mad at your sister
for having the same advantage
that you did getting in.
Fathers recommend sons,
brothers recommend sisters.
It's easy for someone to walk
in there hand off a resume,
pass a test.
It's your work ethic that's
gonna keep you there.
How many years?
Going on twenty.
Twenty years!
That's a long time.
You're a Red Seal welder.
You know more shit about
putting a crew together
than these people.
If you want the job
in management,
you'll get it.
Besides, it's not like the
plant's going anywhere.
You're right, Dad.
I appreciate it.
Sorry, Auds.
It's fine.
Hey, there is a
raccoon out there.
He just told me
to fuck off.