Tom Goes to the Mayor (2004) s01e02 Episode Script
WW Laserz
0
Jefferton alive
Hi. I'm the Mayor,
and my door is alays open for you!
Jefferton alive
My name is Tom Peters,
and I'm full of ideas.
Community spirit!
Hi. How are you?
Shopping!
Food!
Free to be, being free ♪
Jefferton alive
You smell like poop.
How many pleats do you have in those stupid pants?
You're kind of short for a man.
You kind of look like my friend's dad.
His porn smells like salmon.
I'm just here
to see the Mayor.
OK, gentlemen,
here's my plan.
Sit back.
Try to use your mind.
Close your eyes
and turn your imagination on.
Picture what
I am looking at right now.
A giant éclair covered
in delicious chocolate-flavored sauce.
But there's a surprise inside.
A monkey!
OK, well, if I can make a small point here.
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but you had a year
to come up with a plan
to use the educational grant money?
Right.
I'm just not sure
where you're headed with this.
You know,
we're going to lose this money
at the end of the month
if we don't act now.
I'm sorry.
Tom Peters.
Mind if I pop in?
I'm on an important call.
Come on in.
City Council, this is
Tom
- Tom Peters.
- Hello, Tom.
I just wanted
to see if you received my e-fax.
I can come back later
if it's not
Renee, did we receive an e-fax from a Tare
TigerTellTigerTa
Tom Peters.
It's just about
a new restaurant idea I had.
It's a theme restaurant that would celebrate history.
A restaurant?
Interesting.
And history?
Now that has potential.
No, no, no. Hold on a minute.
I'm not sure I understand here.
City Council,
can you hold on?
Yes, we'll hold.
OK, Tom. Go.
Well, the good news is
I recently stumbled into a small fortune
of World War II memorabilia.
There's all these great online auctions
that have tons of priceless
memorabilia and artwork.
And I get on there at night and I just sell and buy
and trade for other things.
And in the end,
you know, you end up with
some World War II stuff
or whatever.
- Terrific.
- Yeah.
So, I drew up some plans
for a restaurant I'm calling,
for the time being, at least,
General Patton's Grill.
That's great, Tom.
Yeah, just using all the artifacts that I purchased.
It looks like you have some sort of portfolio there.
City Council,
can you please hold on?
As far as I know,
we're still holding.
- Let me take a look.
- Yeah.
These are just some sketches of the design of the restaurant here.
Let's open up to the first page
Tom, that looks delicious!
I think that's a salad.
We had our designer put that in there, first page.
Wonderful.
There you go.
You can tell right away.
Tom, that looks like you have some chicken fingers
and a couple of strips of mozzarella.
Well, actually, to be honest with you,
those are french fries.
But, we'll, you know,
have steak fries
and curly fries
most likely, so
City Council, can you please hold on a couple minutes?
That's fine.
Holding, still.
OK, Tom, go ahead.
This is cool.
This is, actually
We want to put the restaurant on hydraulic lifts
so we can really simulate that feeling of being under siege, being in a battle.
Oh, Tom.
- Yeah.
- I really love it.
That looks like a toy soldier!
Well, not really.
That's a veteran of World War II.
Actually,
this particular picture is a model.
But our idea is to have him come in
and tell war stories
and connect with the children,
and, you know
serve pizza.
I'd like to dine at that restaurant
This sounds like a good idea for the educational grant.
You think you can get it running
in two weeks or so?
Fair enough. I could start on it pretty much right away.
Great. I love it!
Tom, one last thing.
I'd like you to work with
my nephew Terry on this one.
Yeah. He's studying World War II in class right now
and honestly I think
he'd be a lot of help.
OK.
- Tom.
- Yes?
Treat my Terry like an angel.
I love pizza
with pepperoni
and sausage
and marinara sauce
and parmesan cheese
and bread sticks.
- Is that Terry?
- Yeah, that's Terry.
I hate my hands.
Are there bats in here?
Have you ever had soda?
Your head looks weird.
I live in a house with
a back door and a front door.
Hi. I'm Tom Peters.
It's nice to meet you.
This car is tiny.
You have an ugly neck.
Well, here she is.
I farted in your car.
What is this, a toy car?
This project sucks.
This has always been
a dream of mine for weeks now.
My dreams
have come true ♪
Straight out of 1942
Storm troopers there,
GI's here
A world at war ♪
And I've captured it here ♪
In my decor ♪
To teach and to dine ♪
A menu full of delish ♪
A history lesson ♪
In every dish ♪
No
You've got it all wrong ♪
If you wanna have fun,
you gotta give 'em skee ball ♪
The world's longest one ♪
Lasers and animated mannequins
that sing and tell jokes
Vat's the deal
vit the hotdogs in die bun?
Ein farted.
I'm not so sure ♪
If I could sing a response? ♪
What about video games?
Free pizza when you win?
Virtual reality cyber games? ♪
Tokens, lots of tokens,
can't have too many tokens
Trade them in
for cash and prizes
No, Terry,
this isn't right, Terry.
Come on, justlet's
We're using Federal
Education grant money here.
Would you stop it?
Would you please stop spinning, Terry?
My inhaler!
Thomas.
Tom, boy.
Tom?
Tom, are you OK?
It's OK. I'm going
to hold up your head for you.
I think I hit my head.
Where am I?
What time is it?
Well, I've been keeping you in this dumpster for weeks now.
I found this vest on a hobo and put it on you to keep you warm
because you've been
way too tender to move.
OK.
What's that smell?
What you're smelling is the cat food.
I've been coming by at nights to feed you
and since you're unconscious
I would take a dollop of the wet cat food
and stick it in your mouth
and then move your jaw up and down like a chewing motion.
But in that process some of the cat food
fell out onto
your lips and your face
and hardened a little bit
in your hair and your shirt.
OK, right.
Come on, now.
Don't worry. I'll carry you over.
I think I have BM in my pants.
What's going on with the restaurant?
Tom, don't worry about it.
Terry took your idea and ran with it.
And I think you're going to be
pleasantly surprised.
- Shirt!
- Isn't it wonderful?
Tom, let's get you cleaned up.
You got a lot of work to do.
On September 23rd,
we stormed the beaches of
Bull's-eye!
Terry!
- Where have you been?
- I'm not sure.
- What's going on here?
- We're almost done.
I've been testing
the sound system and the lasers.
- What about my ideas, though?
- What?
My ideas!
The World War II history!
I need you to set up the kitchen.
We've got no food or nothing.
- What?
- Tom, get in that kitchen!
Ladies and gentlemen
Welcome to WW Laserz.
The show's about to begin!
Please hand your pizza topping cards
to the nearest veteran.
And now, the legends of World War II Doo-Wop Singers!
Laserz
Pizza party.
Come on, everybody,
everything's all right
We're doing it together,
rock and roll tonight
Come on, pizza party,
we're having so much fun
Party, party, party,
this party's so much fun ♪
Come on, everybody,
everything's all right
We're doing it together
rock and roll tonight ♪
Come on, pizza party ♪
Hurry up on that food, Peters!
All right, I've got
the pizzarinos in for 90 seconds
then I can swap out the skinners
for 30 seconds to defrost
Thomas!
Tom!
Tom, there you are.
What's that wonderful smell?
Oh, that's just,
microwaving
I'd love to sit here and talk about your cuisine and how you're making it
but we have
a huge problem out there.
And friends,
friends, friends ♪
Error, error, error
I didn't see any
I don't understand what they
the point they're making.
I don't know
what they're trying to say here
Tom, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Ladies and gentlemen.
Once again, the legends of the World War II Doo-Wop Singers!
Well, I'd just like to say
I'm not entirely comfortable in this outfit.
And, you know, historically,
I think we kind of missed the mark here.
I know that
we'll get through this ♪
Because we are such good friends
Let's have some pizza pie
'Cos we're just a pack of goofs
Let's stop the fighting
and hold hands
Together
let's have some fun
Check this out!
Jefferton alive,
Jefferton alive
Alive
- Bull's-eye!
- Yeah!
Jefferton alive
Hi. I'm the Mayor,
and my door is alays open for you!
Jefferton alive
My name is Tom Peters,
and I'm full of ideas.
Community spirit!
Hi. How are you?
Shopping!
Food!
Free to be, being free ♪
Jefferton alive
You smell like poop.
How many pleats do you have in those stupid pants?
You're kind of short for a man.
You kind of look like my friend's dad.
His porn smells like salmon.
I'm just here
to see the Mayor.
OK, gentlemen,
here's my plan.
Sit back.
Try to use your mind.
Close your eyes
and turn your imagination on.
Picture what
I am looking at right now.
A giant éclair covered
in delicious chocolate-flavored sauce.
But there's a surprise inside.
A monkey!
OK, well, if I can make a small point here.
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but you had a year
to come up with a plan
to use the educational grant money?
Right.
I'm just not sure
where you're headed with this.
You know,
we're going to lose this money
at the end of the month
if we don't act now.
I'm sorry.
Tom Peters.
Mind if I pop in?
I'm on an important call.
Come on in.
City Council, this is
Tom
- Tom Peters.
- Hello, Tom.
I just wanted
to see if you received my e-fax.
I can come back later
if it's not
Renee, did we receive an e-fax from a Tare
TigerTellTigerTa
Tom Peters.
It's just about
a new restaurant idea I had.
It's a theme restaurant that would celebrate history.
A restaurant?
Interesting.
And history?
Now that has potential.
No, no, no. Hold on a minute.
I'm not sure I understand here.
City Council,
can you hold on?
Yes, we'll hold.
OK, Tom. Go.
Well, the good news is
I recently stumbled into a small fortune
of World War II memorabilia.
There's all these great online auctions
that have tons of priceless
memorabilia and artwork.
And I get on there at night and I just sell and buy
and trade for other things.
And in the end,
you know, you end up with
some World War II stuff
or whatever.
- Terrific.
- Yeah.
So, I drew up some plans
for a restaurant I'm calling,
for the time being, at least,
General Patton's Grill.
That's great, Tom.
Yeah, just using all the artifacts that I purchased.
It looks like you have some sort of portfolio there.
City Council,
can you please hold on?
As far as I know,
we're still holding.
- Let me take a look.
- Yeah.
These are just some sketches of the design of the restaurant here.
Let's open up to the first page
Tom, that looks delicious!
I think that's a salad.
We had our designer put that in there, first page.
Wonderful.
There you go.
You can tell right away.
Tom, that looks like you have some chicken fingers
and a couple of strips of mozzarella.
Well, actually, to be honest with you,
those are french fries.
But, we'll, you know,
have steak fries
and curly fries
most likely, so
City Council, can you please hold on a couple minutes?
That's fine.
Holding, still.
OK, Tom, go ahead.
This is cool.
This is, actually
We want to put the restaurant on hydraulic lifts
so we can really simulate that feeling of being under siege, being in a battle.
Oh, Tom.
- Yeah.
- I really love it.
That looks like a toy soldier!
Well, not really.
That's a veteran of World War II.
Actually,
this particular picture is a model.
But our idea is to have him come in
and tell war stories
and connect with the children,
and, you know
serve pizza.
I'd like to dine at that restaurant
This sounds like a good idea for the educational grant.
You think you can get it running
in two weeks or so?
Fair enough. I could start on it pretty much right away.
Great. I love it!
Tom, one last thing.
I'd like you to work with
my nephew Terry on this one.
Yeah. He's studying World War II in class right now
and honestly I think
he'd be a lot of help.
OK.
- Tom.
- Yes?
Treat my Terry like an angel.
I love pizza
with pepperoni
and sausage
and marinara sauce
and parmesan cheese
and bread sticks.
- Is that Terry?
- Yeah, that's Terry.
I hate my hands.
Are there bats in here?
Have you ever had soda?
Your head looks weird.
I live in a house with
a back door and a front door.
Hi. I'm Tom Peters.
It's nice to meet you.
This car is tiny.
You have an ugly neck.
Well, here she is.
I farted in your car.
What is this, a toy car?
This project sucks.
This has always been
a dream of mine for weeks now.
My dreams
have come true ♪
Straight out of 1942
Storm troopers there,
GI's here
A world at war ♪
And I've captured it here ♪
In my decor ♪
To teach and to dine ♪
A menu full of delish ♪
A history lesson ♪
In every dish ♪
No
You've got it all wrong ♪
If you wanna have fun,
you gotta give 'em skee ball ♪
The world's longest one ♪
Lasers and animated mannequins
that sing and tell jokes
Vat's the deal
vit the hotdogs in die bun?
Ein farted.
I'm not so sure ♪
If I could sing a response? ♪
What about video games?
Free pizza when you win?
Virtual reality cyber games? ♪
Tokens, lots of tokens,
can't have too many tokens
Trade them in
for cash and prizes
No, Terry,
this isn't right, Terry.
Come on, justlet's
We're using Federal
Education grant money here.
Would you stop it?
Would you please stop spinning, Terry?
My inhaler!
Thomas.
Tom, boy.
Tom?
Tom, are you OK?
It's OK. I'm going
to hold up your head for you.
I think I hit my head.
Where am I?
What time is it?
Well, I've been keeping you in this dumpster for weeks now.
I found this vest on a hobo and put it on you to keep you warm
because you've been
way too tender to move.
OK.
What's that smell?
What you're smelling is the cat food.
I've been coming by at nights to feed you
and since you're unconscious
I would take a dollop of the wet cat food
and stick it in your mouth
and then move your jaw up and down like a chewing motion.
But in that process some of the cat food
fell out onto
your lips and your face
and hardened a little bit
in your hair and your shirt.
OK, right.
Come on, now.
Don't worry. I'll carry you over.
I think I have BM in my pants.
What's going on with the restaurant?
Tom, don't worry about it.
Terry took your idea and ran with it.
And I think you're going to be
pleasantly surprised.
- Shirt!
- Isn't it wonderful?
Tom, let's get you cleaned up.
You got a lot of work to do.
On September 23rd,
we stormed the beaches of
Bull's-eye!
Terry!
- Where have you been?
- I'm not sure.
- What's going on here?
- We're almost done.
I've been testing
the sound system and the lasers.
- What about my ideas, though?
- What?
My ideas!
The World War II history!
I need you to set up the kitchen.
We've got no food or nothing.
- What?
- Tom, get in that kitchen!
Ladies and gentlemen
Welcome to WW Laserz.
The show's about to begin!
Please hand your pizza topping cards
to the nearest veteran.
And now, the legends of World War II Doo-Wop Singers!
Laserz
Pizza party.
Come on, everybody,
everything's all right
We're doing it together,
rock and roll tonight
Come on, pizza party,
we're having so much fun
Party, party, party,
this party's so much fun ♪
Come on, everybody,
everything's all right
We're doing it together
rock and roll tonight ♪
Come on, pizza party ♪
Hurry up on that food, Peters!
All right, I've got
the pizzarinos in for 90 seconds
then I can swap out the skinners
for 30 seconds to defrost
Thomas!
Tom!
Tom, there you are.
What's that wonderful smell?
Oh, that's just,
microwaving
I'd love to sit here and talk about your cuisine and how you're making it
but we have
a huge problem out there.
And friends,
friends, friends ♪
Error, error, error
I didn't see any
I don't understand what they
the point they're making.
I don't know
what they're trying to say here
Tom, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Ladies and gentlemen.
Once again, the legends of the World War II Doo-Wop Singers!
Well, I'd just like to say
I'm not entirely comfortable in this outfit.
And, you know, historically,
I think we kind of missed the mark here.
I know that
we'll get through this ♪
Because we are such good friends
Let's have some pizza pie
'Cos we're just a pack of goofs
Let's stop the fighting
and hold hands
Together
let's have some fun
Check this out!
Jefferton alive,
Jefferton alive
Alive
- Bull's-eye!
- Yeah!