A Course Called Ireland (2026) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
1
- Jimmy!
- You see that guy over there
in swimming trunks?
- Good morning!
- That's me, Jimmy. Great to have you
both.
- Beautiful day for a dip.
- Oh, it's fabulous.
- How's things?
- You'll feel so good after it.
Now, you might not recognise me
with my clothes off,
but I used to be
Ireland's Minister for Arts.
Good morning, how are you?
Nice to meet you.
Last summer, I met Bill Murray
when he drifted into my corner
of the world.
- You're getting in the water?
- Nice to
meet you. You're going in the water?
- Yeah. Oh, no, I thought
this was just dress-up.
- No, no.
And before long, I roped him into
my little morning ritual -
a 9am swim in the freezing waters
of the Atlantic.
It's balmy.
He was travelling the country
of his ancestors with his friend
Tom, who wrote a book
about golf in these parts
We had the sense that we were
not only about to do something
very special, but that everyone
was excited for us to be doing so.
- playing some of our
best courses
- Oh!
meeting up with
some old friends
See Bill Murray over there?
I'm going to try and essentially
aim for his noggin.
all while being chased around
by a TV crew.
Mr Cosby. Thanks for that.
As a former minister,
this episode is about something
close to my heart -
our Irish community
and the way we make room for others.
Cheers!
Anyway, settle yourself down now.
Oh!
I'll talk you through what's what,
and you'll get to see
more of me, Bill, and Tom getting
wet in about 25 minutes' time.
SOFT SNORING
What did you do last night?
Last night, we went to Foxy John's.
FOLK MUSIC PLAYS
The music was fantastic.
And then he was inspired to sing.
She's the Star
of the County Down. ♪
HE SIGHS
Up.
HE CHUCKLES
It's all right, man,
I'm hungover to bits.
The lads' plan for the day
was golf at a stunning
links course
on the edge of the world.
But first,
they had to conquer the Conor Pass,
a ribbon of road
carved into the side of a mountain.
- All right, folks, say a prayer.
- Is this scary?
- Yep.
I am not great with heights.
Chris is going to be holding on
to the side of the door.
Whoa! Oh, my God!
It's a magnificent drive,
but just not after a wild night out.
So if you roll over, do you think
you want to have your seat belt on?
I don't think we'd need to worry
about the seat belt either way.
CHUCKLING
Nice and slow!
Nice and slow. Oh, my God.
I think I might just close my eyes.
Wow, look at them all in a row.
Look at that! Wow!
People left this landscape
and ended up in Queens.
Yeah.
And you wonder why Irish people
are angry.
THEY CHUCKLE
Truth is, the boys weren't supposed
to be here in the first place.
They were meant to be heading
to Kilkenny to watch horse racing,
play some golf, and celebrate
Bill's birthday in a week's time.
Surprise!
- He doesn't want to go to Kilkenny.
- What, at all?
- At all.
The lads thought the three-hour
drive would cut into
their golfing time, so the crew
had to abandon their grand plans.
And instead, they headed for
Castlegregory, a home-made
nine-holer
that locals completed in 1990
for themselves and their neighbours.
Wow, that is crazy-beautiful.
Weirdly, it's not in Tom's book,
though. Explain yourself, Tom.
I won't be reading from the book
of A Course Called Ireland
about Castlegregory
cos it's not in it.
There are a few links that I miss
in Ireland, and this is one of them.
So there's a little bit
of guilt and shame coming here.
Good morning. Nice shirt there.
Hello! Who's out there?
Here, here.
So what do you think
of Castlegregory Golf Club?
It's just as lovely
as I thought it would be.
It's really, really
serenely beautiful.
All right, lads, let's have
some fun.
Yeah, Tom.
OK, you're off. Ah, Bill.
- Lovely hit, Billy.
- Bill, you're swinging good, man.
-
- That was a super drive.
Yeah, that was pretty good
for just waking up, huh?
-
- That was really good.
Today was a triple-header between
a quite hungover Bill, a very
hungover Chris, and a teetotal Tom
who was feeling tiptop.
Well done, Tom.
Lovely shot, Tom.
Perfect distance.
-
- Beauty!
Bill was on course to win the first
hole, but then disaster struck.
In my travel bag, there's got to be
at least one putter. There were two.
There should be two, there could be.
Let me borrow this one.
He lost his lucky putter.
- Nice, that's nice, that's nice.
- Get there.
- Oh!
- Bill, is this your putter?
- Well, that is
- a
- putter.
- Is that not THE putter?
- Fuck, no.
- No, that's not the one?
No, I mean, I'll use it for now,
but it's not my putter.
- This has seen some miles.
- Is that not your putter?
- No. But we'll put it in
and we'll see.
- OK.
That's good.
-
- Oh!
-
- Really?! Bill!
- Oh, you got a putter?
- Well, yeah, they think that's mine.
Of course it's not.
Maybe this new mystery putter
would give Bill the magic touch.
Aye!
What did it do? I had my head down.
What happened?
THEY LAUGH
Ah.
This will work.
This is not the putter,
but you know what you could do?
You could put This is mine,
but there's another mine.
I don't know,
I could have sworn I brought it,
but it's A forgetfulness.
- That was a super par anyway.
- I know. OK.
While Bill was distracted
by a missing putter
Oh, you fuck!
Ah.
Ah, no.
it was Chris that was distracted
by a missing night's sleep.
Oh!
Right, go get that one.
Oi!
Stupid game.
HE CHUCKLES
I think I'm too hungover, really.
Got to commit to 'em.
HE CHUCKLES
- Oh, dear, look where that is.
-
- Yeah.
Keep your eye on where it landed
cos he might not find that one
without help.
Stupid fucking game!
LAUGHTER
Never liked it, fucking golf!
HE SNORTS
Despite the morning's commotion,
it all came down to one final
35ft putt from Tom.
Oh, it's so good. Oh!
Holy mother of God!
There is an old Irish saying,
"If you spend all night in the bar,
"you'll make a proper clown
of yourself on the golf course."
- Well done.
- Lovely.
- Beautiful
stuff. Thank you, Anne.
-
- Thank you.
-
- Pleasure.
-
- Well done, well done.
- Well, did you enjoy that now?
- That was great.
- It WAS lovely.
- It was great!
- So you've got to come back
and play it again.
- Well, I shall.
I really enjoyed caddying for Bill.
The Irish people love company,
- they love chatting, they love
forming links.
- You and me?
Maybe Bill is, you know, he's making
connection with everybody.
He's a good guy. You'd know there
was some Irish in him, I think.
What about this town called
Twillmore, or Lattimore,
or something like that?
- Tullamore?
- Tullamore. Yeah.
After the round,
the guys got back on the road again
and headed north towards their hotel
for the night in Ballybunion.
It was Anne said you must
go to that place,
so if you want to go there,
it might be the other direction.
- We're not going. We're only
six miles.
- OK.
- We can go back.
- I'm just saying.
- I know.
- You know me.
-
- Argh!
You know Tom,
he just wants to off-road.
Are we even going to hit it
as far as the water?
We got to get a lot closer,
don't we?
Yeah, we got to
get down on the firm stuff.
It was Chris's last evening
with the lads,
but the Irish are never in a hurry
to say goodbye to good company.
- I feel like we should aim -
have a target.
- Where do we think,
- somewhere before this water?
- Yeah. Take us out, Chris.
Oh, my God, you hit
the hell out of it!
It reached the water - ish!
That was representative of my game
the last couple of days.
Yeah, baby!
The ball exploded!
Oh, it's
Someday I hope my ancestors can
come back here and hit biodegradable
golf balls at these cliffs.
Like they did
in my forefathers' time!
THEY LAUGH
But, no, it's been gorgeous.
Thanks for having me.
Thank you, Tom.
Enjoy the rest of your travels.
- It's going to be terrific.
- It's going to be great.
All right, should we hit one
all at the same time?
- All at the same time,
out into the ocean.
- OK.
A haon, a do, a tri!
Wow!
-
- Oh!
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
I'm worried, Tom.
Here comes the rain.
We'll just make the ferry.
The next morning, Bill and Tom
returned to something resembling
the original plan.
They were heading from County Kerry
to County Clare,
across the Shannon, for a date with
the ancient Irish sport of hurling.
So we're taking a ferry to where?
Up into Clare, to Spanish Point.
Spanish Point?
That's where we're going.
You know, you have,
"Was a historic,"
but shouldn't that be,
"An historic"?
I have There's people for that.
I know you have people for that,
but you got the wrong people.
I guess so.
MESSAGE ALERT TINGS
I got a message that
a record on which I played cowbell,
Pedrito Martinez,
was nominated for a Latin Grammy.
- No way?
- Yeah.
- Congratulations, Bill.
- Thanks.
My first Latin Grammy nomination.
Since I've met him,
all my percussion work has improved.
He's probably my major influence.
HE CHUCKLES
- Centre lane?
- I guess, huh?
- My guy.
- Go right down the centre, see what
he says.
- OK.
- He's aiming at you.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Stop.
- Sorry.
- You need to wait for instruction
before you come out.
- Oh, sorry.
- The guy
- Yeah, the guy who's
standing there is me.
HORN BLARES
Hey, guys.
Onboard, the lads were immediately
recognised by admirers.
Well, at least Tom was.
I'm not sure they even knew
who the other guy was.
-
- Yeah?
Yeah.
By the way,
that's the first sentence
on the first page of the book.
I have people who know
who I am here, so I'm take
So I'm getting a little moment here,
Mr Director.
It is, yeah
- Who is that guy there you were
hanging out with?
- Yeah.
- See, forget him.
- Can we get
a picture with Tom Coyne?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, come on, get him over here.
- Hey, Bill.
- We're in trouble?
- I have some fans.
Could you take a picture this time?
Thanks.
This is my assistant.
- This is my assistant.
- You're
a reader? Well, all right, then.
- Sure am.
- I thought this was my
picture.
- It was supposed to be, Tom.
All right.
In the end, the Tom Coyne fan club
got to spend the crossing with their
hero, gate-crashed by the elderly
individual he was travelling with.
HORN BLARES
Well, that was about as sociable
a ferry ride as I've had.
To be fair, when he's in the mood,
Bill's the world's best
gate-crasher
Let's pick him up
over our shoulders.
THEY CHEER
joining random bachelor parties,
karaoke nights,
busking in the park
APPLAUSE
serving drinks behind the bar
at your local pub,
it's all part of his legend.
But it's interesting to ask
why he's doing it.
Is he a born comedian,
hoping to make people laugh,
a man with a keen appreciation
of his own mythology,
or just someone looking to belong
somewhere for a while?
Whatever the reason,
he's given a lot of people
a magical Bill Murray moment.
But when the lads arrive
at a local hurling match
between the Clarecastle Magpies
and the Tubber Bumblebees,
he didn't feel like becoming
the centre of attention.
- So, Chris.
- Yes.
- OK. I would ask that
you, upon arrival
- Yep.
not begin shooting me.
- Uh-huh.
- That changes the whole tempo
of everything.
- Sure.
It takes all
They go, "Who's that?"
And then I'm fucked.
The more it looks like
a documentary, then you can
come to like you're interviewing
someone on the sidelines.
It just happens to be me, you know?
It'll just make it easier to shoot.
- You won't draw flies, you know?
So it can be more fun.
- Yeah, sure.
So you want me to let you get in?
So, sorry, I had someone in my ear.
You weren't listening to me.
I'm trying to tell him to stop doing
the thing that you didn't want.
OK. Don't start by shooting me.
That fucks the whole thing.
-
- Hollywood Hipster
by Michael Blainey & Peter Blyth
Oh, my God, smacked him in the head
with the stick. This guy's down.
What is going on?
Hurling is sort of like golf in the
air if there was only one ball
and everyone was fighting over it.
Oh!
You get a point for hitting the ball
over the bar
and three points
for getting it under.
There's more to it than that,
but keeping it simple.
So if all that happens way back
there?
Well, you know,
he'd get down for a late hit.
A little bit of a shemozzle
up in the corner. Post-match
In the end, the Magpies won.
- Hope you enjoyed yourself.
- Thanks, Gerry, it was fun.
- Nice to see you. Be careful.
- Thank you. Thank you.
For all of Bill's efforts
to arrive quietly,
the locals were bound to include him
sooner or later.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Over the bar.
- Which bar is closer?
Which one are we going for?
Go on, then, Bill!
CHEERING
- Hey!
- Give that back,
that wasn't very good.
- You can probably see
why they get on so well.
- Ah!
Bill has a knack for joining in.
Did you want to talk to the players?
- Do you want to go meet them?
- Yeah, why not?
- We Irish have a knack
for making room.
- Excuse me,
you looked like you were getting
beaten up the most out there.
But you have nothing
You're not bleeding, really?
- Not really, no.
- Not really?
- No damage.
When it comes down to it,
a magpie's going to beat
a bumblebee every time, OK?
- Yeah.
- In a fair fight.
- Yeah.
- Even fight.
- That's true.
- Unless there's tens of thousands
of bumblebees.
- Yeah.
- Good for you.
- We got it done anyway.
- All right,
cool.
- Cool, thanks very much.
- Go jump in the ocean.
- Enjoy yourselves.
- Go jump in the cold water.
- Enjoy your night.
And look at this, Christy,
this is the president of our club.
- Hello, Presidente.
- You're very
welcome.
- Now, were you a hurler?
- You do any hurling in your time?
- I was a bad hurler.
- You were a bad hurler?
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Could I get a picture with you,
if you don't mind?
- Sure, Muscles.
Come on.
After all that, the director
still needed to quickly get
the entrance shot
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.
the one they were missing
from earlier.
See where the blue door is?
Just go through that and we'll
follow you through. It's fine.
Go through the door
and up into the stands?
Thank you.
- This is cool.
- Ah.
Hey, Bill, you're supposed to
The stairs, just
Never mind.
This is a really nice gym they got.
Give me ten.
Just like this?
- Yeah, just like that.
- What do you do with that?
Well, you can do a lot of things.
Doesn't that feel good?
- It kind of does.
- Walk up the steps.
- We're walking up the steps, dude.
Now we're going to do
a step workout. Action!
OK, just up and into the stand. Just
go through the door into the stand.
Keep going, keep going.
"We all belong here in this place,
at this time."
HE SIGHS
You talk about craic.
- That was fun.
- Good craic.
Hey, I want to go meet
the nicest lady in Ireland.
Would you like to meet her?
- It sounds like this has a momentum
that we should follow.
- Come on
We're not going anywhere, we're just
going right around the corner.
Yeah, I'm excited to see her.
-
- OK, stand by to go, please.
Let's follow on behind Bill's car.
Just as the crew thought
they were back on track,
it was young Tom's turn to go rogue.
When I was doing the book, we stayed
at the Daly's bed and breakfast.
Susan took us in on a rainy,
cold day,
so I wrote about them in the book.
"The fog was up against the glass.
"We couldn't see the sea
or the ferry dock.
"Hell, we couldn't see
the driveway".
But when we arrived at this house,
cold and sopping-wet,
I don't know, she was, like,
the first person on the trip
when I was doing this who,
like, looked after us
with a maternal kind of instinct,
and it gave me
Gave me hope.
- Susan, surprise!
- Oh, my God!
How are you? Oh, my God,
it's so good to see you!
It must be, what, 13 years?
And we arrived here cold,
dripping wet.
What did I say to you?
"Take off your pants."
Remember I said that to you
when you came in the door?
And you're like,
"Oh, my God, what an introduction."
- I want to introduce you to my friend
Bill.
- Lovely to meet you.
- I'm hearing a lot about you.
- Oh,
I hope it's all good, though, Tom.
- Or Bill, I should say.
- There's
a lot.
- This is my daughter Sarah.
Sarah has now taken over
the business.
Nice to meet you.
- So nice to meet you.
- And thank you so much.
So we're doing a trip, and it's
sort of inspired by the trip
- I took back then.
- Fantastic.
- And, Bill, how come you're here?
- I'm lost.
-
- Are you? You couldn't be
lost in a better place,
do you know that?
HE CHUCKLES
- So now can we offer you something?
- What are YOU having?
- A Bailey's coffee.
- OK. Wow, look
at all the colour you've got!
- Yeah.
See, I would have switched them.
I would have put the brown one
over there and then put one
- But that's not brown.
- Well, whatever
that colour is. What happened?
- Here, hold that.
- OK.
- Oh, my God,
- he's rearranging the furniture.
- I just want you to try it.
You're not allowed to do that.
Painting's now changing, Sarah.
- Just letting you know.
- What do you
think, Sarah?
- I think that's better.
- He has a good eye.
- For sure, we
wouldn't dream of saying it wasn't.
I'm going to go see if your room
is just as you left it, Tom.
Look at the cows underneath
the ruin. Isn't that great?
-
- Are they the turs,
are they? How old are those?
- Those towers?
- Yeah.
- Tom?
- How old's that ruin?
- Erm1987.
BILL LAUGHS
I have no idea.
- Sarah, how old is that ruin?
-14th century.
- 14th century.
- We have something small for you
while you're here.
- What?
Well, now, honest to God, I feel you
could have shares in this place.
Absolutely. It's only a token
of appreciation
Oh, thank you so much.
- just so you can remember us even
more.
- Aw.
- Thank you.
We appreciate that.
- Thank you so much.
- That's really kind. Beautiful.
- Your coffee's here, Tom.
- Ah.
- And, Bill, are you ready?
- And for Bill.
- Yeah, I hope.
What makes you
the nicest woman in Ireland?
Really, it's down to being kind
to people.
There's very good nature
in Irish people.
It's kind of gone from generation
to generation, yeah.
It's something we're very proud of.
People visiting Ireland,
that's what they remember the most
is who they met
while they visited here.
- Slainte.
- Slainte.
- And what was it like meeting Bill?
- Well, he's so easy to talk to.
I mean, he's a funny man.
Good coffee?
You make a good cup.
Well, Sarah makes a good cup.
- Do you feel the difference already?
- I feel better.
SHE LAUGHS
The devil's in him, I'd say, 100%.
Oh, yeah, I can see it a mile away.
SHE LAUGHS
- Thank you.
- Very nice to be here
with you.
- Ah, God bless, and hopefully
we'll meet again.
- I hope so, too.
Yeah, but I'll see you
in the movies anyways.
- OK.
- I'll be watching out for you.
Bye, Tom.
- Right, bye-bye.
- Thank you.
Pleased to meet you,
and thank you.
- I'll be back soon, OK?
- Oh, I hope so!
- I will.
- Nice to pop in on old friends.
- She's a sweetie, ain't she?
What a sweetie. Just so welcoming,
and they don't even know
we're coming.
- Is there any better hospitality?
- Yeah.
For those of you
waiting all this time to see me
in my bathing trunks, I've gone
and saved the best for last.
Jimmy!
Back when Bill and Tom were
in Ballybunion, the morning after
they said goodbye to Chris,
that's when we went for our dip.
We were just in a little village and
a wonderful man named Jimmy saw us.
I think he heard we were
staying in Ballybunion for the night
and said,
"Are you going to go swimming?"
And, erm, "No", was my thought.
But he spoke of the benefits of it,
and you've been talking about
wanting to jump in the ocean.
Oh, yeah. Very happy to have
purchased this in a thrift shop.
This is just too nice a shirt.
TOM CHUCKLES
-Does it fit?
- Does it fit?
It's going to fit.
No, I wear this as a marker.
It's a children's small.
LAUGHTER
- It's a beautiful day for a dip.
- Oh, it's fabulous.
- How's things?
- You'll feel so good after it.
- I know, I know.
Where's the swimming team
you promised?
They're over there,
look, in the cave.
Oh, they really ARE in the cave!
They are. Would you like
to say hello to them?
- Hell, yeah.
- Morning, how are you?
- Good morning.
- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Bill.
Nice to meet you.
Welcome to Ballybunion.
Are you getting in the water
with us?
- And, look, "Bali-bunion."
- "Bali", oh, yes.
- "Bali-bunion."
Take your gear off and let's get in
- because the girls will be getting
cold.
- There are a few more coming.
You need one of these?
BILL CHUCKLES
No, I don't think so.
The Atlantic might appear cold
and foreboding,
but around here, we take on
that challenge together.
Woo!
"When you are old and grey
"and full of sleep
"and nodding by the fire,
"take down this book and slowly read
"and dream of the soft look
"your eyes had once,
"and of their shadows."
- Woo!
- Woohoo!
CHUCKLING
"And bending down
beside the glowing bars"
JIMMY JOINS IN
"..murmur a little sadly
how love fled
"..and paced upon
the mountains overhead
"and hid his face
amid the crowd of stars."
Woo!
- Ah.
- Refreshing!
- It's nice.
I love this place, you know?
My earliest memory
was my father carrying me
into the waves right here
on this beach 70-odd years ago.
And now you can find me here
every morning, rain or shine,
with the Ballybunion Dippers.
I'd encourage you to come along,
say hello, and join in.
No place for wimps out there.
No, no, that's right.
BILL LAUGHS
- He was great.
- Invigorating.
Courageous.
Oooh.
It's great. It feels good.
It does.
It's like ice in
Your whole body feels
HE EXHALES
You might get the impression
that Bill and Tom are welcome
because of who they are.
But that's not our way.
We have a saying, "Ar scath a cheile
a mhaireann na daoine."
"We live in one another's shadow."
In other words, life is better
when you do it together.
I think that's one of the reasons
Americans like Bill
and Tom love it here so much.
The golf might lure them over, but
it's the way they're welcomed here,
how quickly strangers
become friends,
- that makes them want to stay.
- Yes, yes.
You know, there's a myth
that all you women just drink
- whiskey as soon as you get
out of the water.
- Tea water!
LAUGHTER
- Jimmy!
- You see that guy over there
in swimming trunks?
- Good morning!
- That's me, Jimmy. Great to have you
both.
- Beautiful day for a dip.
- Oh, it's fabulous.
- How's things?
- You'll feel so good after it.
Now, you might not recognise me
with my clothes off,
but I used to be
Ireland's Minister for Arts.
Good morning, how are you?
Nice to meet you.
Last summer, I met Bill Murray
when he drifted into my corner
of the world.
- You're getting in the water?
- Nice to
meet you. You're going in the water?
- Yeah. Oh, no, I thought
this was just dress-up.
- No, no.
And before long, I roped him into
my little morning ritual -
a 9am swim in the freezing waters
of the Atlantic.
It's balmy.
He was travelling the country
of his ancestors with his friend
Tom, who wrote a book
about golf in these parts
We had the sense that we were
not only about to do something
very special, but that everyone
was excited for us to be doing so.
- playing some of our
best courses
- Oh!
meeting up with
some old friends
See Bill Murray over there?
I'm going to try and essentially
aim for his noggin.
all while being chased around
by a TV crew.
Mr Cosby. Thanks for that.
As a former minister,
this episode is about something
close to my heart -
our Irish community
and the way we make room for others.
Cheers!
Anyway, settle yourself down now.
Oh!
I'll talk you through what's what,
and you'll get to see
more of me, Bill, and Tom getting
wet in about 25 minutes' time.
SOFT SNORING
What did you do last night?
Last night, we went to Foxy John's.
FOLK MUSIC PLAYS
The music was fantastic.
And then he was inspired to sing.
She's the Star
of the County Down. ♪
HE SIGHS
Up.
HE CHUCKLES
It's all right, man,
I'm hungover to bits.
The lads' plan for the day
was golf at a stunning
links course
on the edge of the world.
But first,
they had to conquer the Conor Pass,
a ribbon of road
carved into the side of a mountain.
- All right, folks, say a prayer.
- Is this scary?
- Yep.
I am not great with heights.
Chris is going to be holding on
to the side of the door.
Whoa! Oh, my God!
It's a magnificent drive,
but just not after a wild night out.
So if you roll over, do you think
you want to have your seat belt on?
I don't think we'd need to worry
about the seat belt either way.
CHUCKLING
Nice and slow!
Nice and slow. Oh, my God.
I think I might just close my eyes.
Wow, look at them all in a row.
Look at that! Wow!
People left this landscape
and ended up in Queens.
Yeah.
And you wonder why Irish people
are angry.
THEY CHUCKLE
Truth is, the boys weren't supposed
to be here in the first place.
They were meant to be heading
to Kilkenny to watch horse racing,
play some golf, and celebrate
Bill's birthday in a week's time.
Surprise!
- He doesn't want to go to Kilkenny.
- What, at all?
- At all.
The lads thought the three-hour
drive would cut into
their golfing time, so the crew
had to abandon their grand plans.
And instead, they headed for
Castlegregory, a home-made
nine-holer
that locals completed in 1990
for themselves and their neighbours.
Wow, that is crazy-beautiful.
Weirdly, it's not in Tom's book,
though. Explain yourself, Tom.
I won't be reading from the book
of A Course Called Ireland
about Castlegregory
cos it's not in it.
There are a few links that I miss
in Ireland, and this is one of them.
So there's a little bit
of guilt and shame coming here.
Good morning. Nice shirt there.
Hello! Who's out there?
Here, here.
So what do you think
of Castlegregory Golf Club?
It's just as lovely
as I thought it would be.
It's really, really
serenely beautiful.
All right, lads, let's have
some fun.
Yeah, Tom.
OK, you're off. Ah, Bill.
- Lovely hit, Billy.
- Bill, you're swinging good, man.
-
- That was a super drive.
Yeah, that was pretty good
for just waking up, huh?
-
- That was really good.
Today was a triple-header between
a quite hungover Bill, a very
hungover Chris, and a teetotal Tom
who was feeling tiptop.
Well done, Tom.
Lovely shot, Tom.
Perfect distance.
-
- Beauty!
Bill was on course to win the first
hole, but then disaster struck.
In my travel bag, there's got to be
at least one putter. There were two.
There should be two, there could be.
Let me borrow this one.
He lost his lucky putter.
- Nice, that's nice, that's nice.
- Get there.
- Oh!
- Bill, is this your putter?
- Well, that is
- a
- putter.
- Is that not THE putter?
- Fuck, no.
- No, that's not the one?
No, I mean, I'll use it for now,
but it's not my putter.
- This has seen some miles.
- Is that not your putter?
- No. But we'll put it in
and we'll see.
- OK.
That's good.
-
- Oh!
-
- Really?! Bill!
- Oh, you got a putter?
- Well, yeah, they think that's mine.
Of course it's not.
Maybe this new mystery putter
would give Bill the magic touch.
Aye!
What did it do? I had my head down.
What happened?
THEY LAUGH
Ah.
This will work.
This is not the putter,
but you know what you could do?
You could put This is mine,
but there's another mine.
I don't know,
I could have sworn I brought it,
but it's A forgetfulness.
- That was a super par anyway.
- I know. OK.
While Bill was distracted
by a missing putter
Oh, you fuck!
Ah.
Ah, no.
it was Chris that was distracted
by a missing night's sleep.
Oh!
Right, go get that one.
Oi!
Stupid game.
HE CHUCKLES
I think I'm too hungover, really.
Got to commit to 'em.
HE CHUCKLES
- Oh, dear, look where that is.
-
- Yeah.
Keep your eye on where it landed
cos he might not find that one
without help.
Stupid fucking game!
LAUGHTER
Never liked it, fucking golf!
HE SNORTS
Despite the morning's commotion,
it all came down to one final
35ft putt from Tom.
Oh, it's so good. Oh!
Holy mother of God!
There is an old Irish saying,
"If you spend all night in the bar,
"you'll make a proper clown
of yourself on the golf course."
- Well done.
- Lovely.
- Beautiful
stuff. Thank you, Anne.
-
- Thank you.
-
- Pleasure.
-
- Well done, well done.
- Well, did you enjoy that now?
- That was great.
- It WAS lovely.
- It was great!
- So you've got to come back
and play it again.
- Well, I shall.
I really enjoyed caddying for Bill.
The Irish people love company,
- they love chatting, they love
forming links.
- You and me?
Maybe Bill is, you know, he's making
connection with everybody.
He's a good guy. You'd know there
was some Irish in him, I think.
What about this town called
Twillmore, or Lattimore,
or something like that?
- Tullamore?
- Tullamore. Yeah.
After the round,
the guys got back on the road again
and headed north towards their hotel
for the night in Ballybunion.
It was Anne said you must
go to that place,
so if you want to go there,
it might be the other direction.
- We're not going. We're only
six miles.
- OK.
- We can go back.
- I'm just saying.
- I know.
- You know me.
-
- Argh!
You know Tom,
he just wants to off-road.
Are we even going to hit it
as far as the water?
We got to get a lot closer,
don't we?
Yeah, we got to
get down on the firm stuff.
It was Chris's last evening
with the lads,
but the Irish are never in a hurry
to say goodbye to good company.
- I feel like we should aim -
have a target.
- Where do we think,
- somewhere before this water?
- Yeah. Take us out, Chris.
Oh, my God, you hit
the hell out of it!
It reached the water - ish!
That was representative of my game
the last couple of days.
Yeah, baby!
The ball exploded!
Oh, it's
Someday I hope my ancestors can
come back here and hit biodegradable
golf balls at these cliffs.
Like they did
in my forefathers' time!
THEY LAUGH
But, no, it's been gorgeous.
Thanks for having me.
Thank you, Tom.
Enjoy the rest of your travels.
- It's going to be terrific.
- It's going to be great.
All right, should we hit one
all at the same time?
- All at the same time,
out into the ocean.
- OK.
A haon, a do, a tri!
Wow!
-
- Oh!
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
I'm worried, Tom.
Here comes the rain.
We'll just make the ferry.
The next morning, Bill and Tom
returned to something resembling
the original plan.
They were heading from County Kerry
to County Clare,
across the Shannon, for a date with
the ancient Irish sport of hurling.
So we're taking a ferry to where?
Up into Clare, to Spanish Point.
Spanish Point?
That's where we're going.
You know, you have,
"Was a historic,"
but shouldn't that be,
"An historic"?
I have There's people for that.
I know you have people for that,
but you got the wrong people.
I guess so.
MESSAGE ALERT TINGS
I got a message that
a record on which I played cowbell,
Pedrito Martinez,
was nominated for a Latin Grammy.
- No way?
- Yeah.
- Congratulations, Bill.
- Thanks.
My first Latin Grammy nomination.
Since I've met him,
all my percussion work has improved.
He's probably my major influence.
HE CHUCKLES
- Centre lane?
- I guess, huh?
- My guy.
- Go right down the centre, see what
he says.
- OK.
- He's aiming at you.
- Oh, Jesus.
- Stop.
- Sorry.
- You need to wait for instruction
before you come out.
- Oh, sorry.
- The guy
- Yeah, the guy who's
standing there is me.
HORN BLARES
Hey, guys.
Onboard, the lads were immediately
recognised by admirers.
Well, at least Tom was.
I'm not sure they even knew
who the other guy was.
-
- Yeah?
Yeah.
By the way,
that's the first sentence
on the first page of the book.
I have people who know
who I am here, so I'm take
So I'm getting a little moment here,
Mr Director.
It is, yeah
- Who is that guy there you were
hanging out with?
- Yeah.
- See, forget him.
- Can we get
a picture with Tom Coyne?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, come on, get him over here.
- Hey, Bill.
- We're in trouble?
- I have some fans.
Could you take a picture this time?
Thanks.
This is my assistant.
- This is my assistant.
- You're
a reader? Well, all right, then.
- Sure am.
- I thought this was my
picture.
- It was supposed to be, Tom.
All right.
In the end, the Tom Coyne fan club
got to spend the crossing with their
hero, gate-crashed by the elderly
individual he was travelling with.
HORN BLARES
Well, that was about as sociable
a ferry ride as I've had.
To be fair, when he's in the mood,
Bill's the world's best
gate-crasher
Let's pick him up
over our shoulders.
THEY CHEER
joining random bachelor parties,
karaoke nights,
busking in the park
APPLAUSE
serving drinks behind the bar
at your local pub,
it's all part of his legend.
But it's interesting to ask
why he's doing it.
Is he a born comedian,
hoping to make people laugh,
a man with a keen appreciation
of his own mythology,
or just someone looking to belong
somewhere for a while?
Whatever the reason,
he's given a lot of people
a magical Bill Murray moment.
But when the lads arrive
at a local hurling match
between the Clarecastle Magpies
and the Tubber Bumblebees,
he didn't feel like becoming
the centre of attention.
- So, Chris.
- Yes.
- OK. I would ask that
you, upon arrival
- Yep.
not begin shooting me.
- Uh-huh.
- That changes the whole tempo
of everything.
- Sure.
It takes all
They go, "Who's that?"
And then I'm fucked.
The more it looks like
a documentary, then you can
come to like you're interviewing
someone on the sidelines.
It just happens to be me, you know?
It'll just make it easier to shoot.
- You won't draw flies, you know?
So it can be more fun.
- Yeah, sure.
So you want me to let you get in?
So, sorry, I had someone in my ear.
You weren't listening to me.
I'm trying to tell him to stop doing
the thing that you didn't want.
OK. Don't start by shooting me.
That fucks the whole thing.
-
- Hollywood Hipster
by Michael Blainey & Peter Blyth
Oh, my God, smacked him in the head
with the stick. This guy's down.
What is going on?
Hurling is sort of like golf in the
air if there was only one ball
and everyone was fighting over it.
Oh!
You get a point for hitting the ball
over the bar
and three points
for getting it under.
There's more to it than that,
but keeping it simple.
So if all that happens way back
there?
Well, you know,
he'd get down for a late hit.
A little bit of a shemozzle
up in the corner. Post-match
In the end, the Magpies won.
- Hope you enjoyed yourself.
- Thanks, Gerry, it was fun.
- Nice to see you. Be careful.
- Thank you. Thank you.
For all of Bill's efforts
to arrive quietly,
the locals were bound to include him
sooner or later.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Over the bar.
- Which bar is closer?
Which one are we going for?
Go on, then, Bill!
CHEERING
- Hey!
- Give that back,
that wasn't very good.
- You can probably see
why they get on so well.
- Ah!
Bill has a knack for joining in.
Did you want to talk to the players?
- Do you want to go meet them?
- Yeah, why not?
- We Irish have a knack
for making room.
- Excuse me,
you looked like you were getting
beaten up the most out there.
But you have nothing
You're not bleeding, really?
- Not really, no.
- Not really?
- No damage.
When it comes down to it,
a magpie's going to beat
a bumblebee every time, OK?
- Yeah.
- In a fair fight.
- Yeah.
- Even fight.
- That's true.
- Unless there's tens of thousands
of bumblebees.
- Yeah.
- Good for you.
- We got it done anyway.
- All right,
cool.
- Cool, thanks very much.
- Go jump in the ocean.
- Enjoy yourselves.
- Go jump in the cold water.
- Enjoy your night.
And look at this, Christy,
this is the president of our club.
- Hello, Presidente.
- You're very
welcome.
- Now, were you a hurler?
- You do any hurling in your time?
- I was a bad hurler.
- You were a bad hurler?
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Could I get a picture with you,
if you don't mind?
- Sure, Muscles.
Come on.
After all that, the director
still needed to quickly get
the entrance shot
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.
the one they were missing
from earlier.
See where the blue door is?
Just go through that and we'll
follow you through. It's fine.
Go through the door
and up into the stands?
Thank you.
- This is cool.
- Ah.
Hey, Bill, you're supposed to
The stairs, just
Never mind.
This is a really nice gym they got.
Give me ten.
Just like this?
- Yeah, just like that.
- What do you do with that?
Well, you can do a lot of things.
Doesn't that feel good?
- It kind of does.
- Walk up the steps.
- We're walking up the steps, dude.
Now we're going to do
a step workout. Action!
OK, just up and into the stand. Just
go through the door into the stand.
Keep going, keep going.
"We all belong here in this place,
at this time."
HE SIGHS
You talk about craic.
- That was fun.
- Good craic.
Hey, I want to go meet
the nicest lady in Ireland.
Would you like to meet her?
- It sounds like this has a momentum
that we should follow.
- Come on
We're not going anywhere, we're just
going right around the corner.
Yeah, I'm excited to see her.
-
- OK, stand by to go, please.
Let's follow on behind Bill's car.
Just as the crew thought
they were back on track,
it was young Tom's turn to go rogue.
When I was doing the book, we stayed
at the Daly's bed and breakfast.
Susan took us in on a rainy,
cold day,
so I wrote about them in the book.
"The fog was up against the glass.
"We couldn't see the sea
or the ferry dock.
"Hell, we couldn't see
the driveway".
But when we arrived at this house,
cold and sopping-wet,
I don't know, she was, like,
the first person on the trip
when I was doing this who,
like, looked after us
with a maternal kind of instinct,
and it gave me
Gave me hope.
- Susan, surprise!
- Oh, my God!
How are you? Oh, my God,
it's so good to see you!
It must be, what, 13 years?
And we arrived here cold,
dripping wet.
What did I say to you?
"Take off your pants."
Remember I said that to you
when you came in the door?
And you're like,
"Oh, my God, what an introduction."
- I want to introduce you to my friend
Bill.
- Lovely to meet you.
- I'm hearing a lot about you.
- Oh,
I hope it's all good, though, Tom.
- Or Bill, I should say.
- There's
a lot.
- This is my daughter Sarah.
Sarah has now taken over
the business.
Nice to meet you.
- So nice to meet you.
- And thank you so much.
So we're doing a trip, and it's
sort of inspired by the trip
- I took back then.
- Fantastic.
- And, Bill, how come you're here?
- I'm lost.
-
- Are you? You couldn't be
lost in a better place,
do you know that?
HE CHUCKLES
- So now can we offer you something?
- What are YOU having?
- A Bailey's coffee.
- OK. Wow, look
at all the colour you've got!
- Yeah.
See, I would have switched them.
I would have put the brown one
over there and then put one
- But that's not brown.
- Well, whatever
that colour is. What happened?
- Here, hold that.
- OK.
- Oh, my God,
- he's rearranging the furniture.
- I just want you to try it.
You're not allowed to do that.
Painting's now changing, Sarah.
- Just letting you know.
- What do you
think, Sarah?
- I think that's better.
- He has a good eye.
- For sure, we
wouldn't dream of saying it wasn't.
I'm going to go see if your room
is just as you left it, Tom.
Look at the cows underneath
the ruin. Isn't that great?
-
- Are they the turs,
are they? How old are those?
- Those towers?
- Yeah.
- Tom?
- How old's that ruin?
- Erm1987.
BILL LAUGHS
I have no idea.
- Sarah, how old is that ruin?
-14th century.
- 14th century.
- We have something small for you
while you're here.
- What?
Well, now, honest to God, I feel you
could have shares in this place.
Absolutely. It's only a token
of appreciation
Oh, thank you so much.
- just so you can remember us even
more.
- Aw.
- Thank you.
We appreciate that.
- Thank you so much.
- That's really kind. Beautiful.
- Your coffee's here, Tom.
- Ah.
- And, Bill, are you ready?
- And for Bill.
- Yeah, I hope.
What makes you
the nicest woman in Ireland?
Really, it's down to being kind
to people.
There's very good nature
in Irish people.
It's kind of gone from generation
to generation, yeah.
It's something we're very proud of.
People visiting Ireland,
that's what they remember the most
is who they met
while they visited here.
- Slainte.
- Slainte.
- And what was it like meeting Bill?
- Well, he's so easy to talk to.
I mean, he's a funny man.
Good coffee?
You make a good cup.
Well, Sarah makes a good cup.
- Do you feel the difference already?
- I feel better.
SHE LAUGHS
The devil's in him, I'd say, 100%.
Oh, yeah, I can see it a mile away.
SHE LAUGHS
- Thank you.
- Very nice to be here
with you.
- Ah, God bless, and hopefully
we'll meet again.
- I hope so, too.
Yeah, but I'll see you
in the movies anyways.
- OK.
- I'll be watching out for you.
Bye, Tom.
- Right, bye-bye.
- Thank you.
Pleased to meet you,
and thank you.
- I'll be back soon, OK?
- Oh, I hope so!
- I will.
- Nice to pop in on old friends.
- She's a sweetie, ain't she?
What a sweetie. Just so welcoming,
and they don't even know
we're coming.
- Is there any better hospitality?
- Yeah.
For those of you
waiting all this time to see me
in my bathing trunks, I've gone
and saved the best for last.
Jimmy!
Back when Bill and Tom were
in Ballybunion, the morning after
they said goodbye to Chris,
that's when we went for our dip.
We were just in a little village and
a wonderful man named Jimmy saw us.
I think he heard we were
staying in Ballybunion for the night
and said,
"Are you going to go swimming?"
And, erm, "No", was my thought.
But he spoke of the benefits of it,
and you've been talking about
wanting to jump in the ocean.
Oh, yeah. Very happy to have
purchased this in a thrift shop.
This is just too nice a shirt.
TOM CHUCKLES
-Does it fit?
- Does it fit?
It's going to fit.
No, I wear this as a marker.
It's a children's small.
LAUGHTER
- It's a beautiful day for a dip.
- Oh, it's fabulous.
- How's things?
- You'll feel so good after it.
- I know, I know.
Where's the swimming team
you promised?
They're over there,
look, in the cave.
Oh, they really ARE in the cave!
They are. Would you like
to say hello to them?
- Hell, yeah.
- Morning, how are you?
- Good morning.
- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Bill.
Nice to meet you.
Welcome to Ballybunion.
Are you getting in the water
with us?
- And, look, "Bali-bunion."
- "Bali", oh, yes.
- "Bali-bunion."
Take your gear off and let's get in
- because the girls will be getting
cold.
- There are a few more coming.
You need one of these?
BILL CHUCKLES
No, I don't think so.
The Atlantic might appear cold
and foreboding,
but around here, we take on
that challenge together.
Woo!
"When you are old and grey
"and full of sleep
"and nodding by the fire,
"take down this book and slowly read
"and dream of the soft look
"your eyes had once,
"and of their shadows."
- Woo!
- Woohoo!
CHUCKLING
"And bending down
beside the glowing bars"
JIMMY JOINS IN
"..murmur a little sadly
how love fled
"..and paced upon
the mountains overhead
"and hid his face
amid the crowd of stars."
Woo!
- Ah.
- Refreshing!
- It's nice.
I love this place, you know?
My earliest memory
was my father carrying me
into the waves right here
on this beach 70-odd years ago.
And now you can find me here
every morning, rain or shine,
with the Ballybunion Dippers.
I'd encourage you to come along,
say hello, and join in.
No place for wimps out there.
No, no, that's right.
BILL LAUGHS
- He was great.
- Invigorating.
Courageous.
Oooh.
It's great. It feels good.
It does.
It's like ice in
Your whole body feels
HE EXHALES
You might get the impression
that Bill and Tom are welcome
because of who they are.
But that's not our way.
We have a saying, "Ar scath a cheile
a mhaireann na daoine."
"We live in one another's shadow."
In other words, life is better
when you do it together.
I think that's one of the reasons
Americans like Bill
and Tom love it here so much.
The golf might lure them over, but
it's the way they're welcomed here,
how quickly strangers
become friends,
- that makes them want to stay.
- Yes, yes.
You know, there's a myth
that all you women just drink
- whiskey as soon as you get
out of the water.
- Tea water!
LAUGHTER