Breeders (2020) s01e03 Episode Script
No Accident
1
♪♪
- I need a poo!
- I know, darling.
You said that 14 times already.
It's literally all I can think about.
- Can we go there?
- No.
- Why not?
- Because it's a shop
selling designer luggage
and we have no money.
We never go anywhere anyway, so.
- Oi!
- Can I go inside?
- It looks amazing.
- No, it's not amazing.
We need to get home.
Come here or I'll shoot you.
That's murder.
No, this right now, this is murder.
Come on, we need to get home
before Ava has an accident.
I'm gonna poo my pants like a big pig.
Pigs don't wear pants.
Is this where your dad needs to go?
No. Mum, mum, come back here.
Stop wandering off.
We know where we're going.
I know where we're going.
It's just up here.
It's the foot department, for one.
Foot-checking department.
Big old hospital, this.
There's no foot-checking department,
you're just having your ankle
looked at by the physio.
- My mum, your gran.
- Yeah.
Used to have a chiropodist visit.
She was housebound, so this foot fella
- came to the house.
- Mmhmm.
And the priest would
be round to say mass.
Oh, man.
- And the Corona lorry.
- Yeah.
Fizzy drinks.
[PHONE RINGS]
Laundry van for sheets.
[EXHALES]
[MUTTERS] Fuck me.
Hold it in, sweetheart.
Quick, quick, I need to go!
- Hurry up!
- Right.
There we go.
Upstairs, straight to the toilet.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Jellyfish sting is a thing,
but pissing on a bee sting,
that's a whole new territory.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Hey, sweetheart.
Don't worry,
these awful bastards are on their way.
Guys, Ally.
- Ally, these awful bastards.
- ALL: Hiya.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Ava, up you go for a poo.
Shout down when you need wiping.
- Careful on the stairs.
- Okay!
Well, fantastic meal, Mike.
Happy you enjoyed it.
So, Lamb and Flag tonight.
I might need a little help
with the dirty business.
No, no, we've got you covered, mate.
Just no single malts.
All right, agreed. Brandy it is.
[LAUGHTER]
On your way.
- See you soon.
- Oh, no, no, no,
I'll clear that up in a second.
Were those the same men
that were eating lunch
- here yesterday?
- Yeah, a couple of them.
It's nice to give a meal to people.
They're always buying me
drinks down at the pub.
Fucking hell, Michael,
you've used up all the food again.
Why didn't you just call
me when I was at the shops,
'cause I was literally
just at the shops.
Yeah. Well, I have a minor
issue with phone credit,
and with not actually
having a phone any more.
Right. Now have you
found a room yet or?
I'm getting there.
Believe me, I want to be out
of your hair every bit as
much as you want me to go.
I don't want you to go,
particularly, it's just
I need to hear about the
National Insurance thing,
find out what pension money I can claim.
- Right.
- Once I know how much
I'm getting,
I'll move into whatever place
I can afford, as God as my witness.
Okay. I mean, you are
welcome to stay here, obviously.
It's just at the same time, you aren't.
- Does that make sense?
- [CHUCKLES]
We don't want you living
anywhere too shitty.
- I've finished my messy poo!
- You know what I mean.
- [LAUGHING]
- Coming!
Oh, don't forget mum's
babysitting tonight,
so please make yourself invisible.
Mm-hmm.
[SIREN WAILING]
Do you want a tea from
the machine while we wait
for your dad to have his doings seen to?
Can we get a decent
coffee from over the road?
The machine's stuff always
tastes a bit like
- Piss.
- Yeah.
Hot piss, that burns
the roof of your mouth.
I want some nice fair-trade
piss from the caff.
- Do they do tea?
- Yeah, of course they do.
No, I mean do they do it properly
with loose leaves in a nice tea
- [HORN HONKING, SIREN WAILING]
- Mum!
- Oh!
- Fuck!
You just stepped in
front of an ambulance.
Oh, I never!
- You've broke my arm.
- I haven't.
- You've fractured me.
- No, I haven't.
I was saving her life.
- It's fine, mate.
- Dear!
You didn't see the big ambulance?
It don't half hurt.
Well, I'm sorry about this.
Let me take this.
We're gonna have a sit down.
- What, in there?
- Probably in there,
yeah, in the hospital. There you go.
Jesus Christ.
I was with Paul,
just out the front there,
and he went for me.
Grab her, she means, to save her.
He went for me arm, and me stomach.
No, don't say "went for."
I was stopping you getting run over.
If you could let your mother speak,
please, Mr. Worsley.
What? I was
With respect,
I wasn't stopping her from speaking.
I just want to hear what
happened in Jackie's own words.
Yeah, me too.
I'm trying to facilitate that
so we're all on the same page here.
- I'm very clumsy, aren't I?
- Yes, you are,
but don't say that like
I've asked you to say
Don't look at me; look at her.
He hasn't ordered me
to say anything, Doctor.
I'm under no threat
of any more violence.
- "Any more vi" Christ.
- I might ask you
to step into that cubical down
the call, Mrs. Worsley.
I'll have a colleague give
you a further examination
and see if there's any other bruising.
I hope you don't think it's
Paul's fault I got hurt.
We just need to look you over,
give you a bit of an MOT.
This is a kind son, really.
Although he did once smack
me in the face with a spade.
Plastic one, not a
Don't say that, Mum.
Christ, it was tiny and plastic
and for making sandcastles.
It was an accident, I was three.
You could have had me eye out.
He used to love being
all nude on the beach
- when he was a toddler.
- Christ.
Running round with
his funny little prawn
- out for all to see.
- Oh, man.
My colleague will be with you shortly.
Thank you.
Thanks. She really
was about to get run over.
- How's your son, Mr. Worsley?
- My s Luke, you mean?
Yes, he's fine, thanks. How do you
We've seen you before, right, with Luke?
- Yeah. Quite a few times.
- Mm-hmm.
[BABY CRYING]
[SIREN WAILING]
Doctor?
Hi, our baby fell off the sofa.
Yeah, he's hit his head.
We left the room for one second,
- and he slipped off.
- We put lots of cushions around him.
- But
- I'm sure he'll be fine.
- Come with me.
- Thank you.
[LUKE WHIMPERING]
Doctor! He flew out the swing.
I wasn't pushing him hard at all.
He's got quite weak arms, for a man.
- What?
- Come this way.
[SIREN WAILING]
[LUKE WHIMPERING]
Hi, he put his Spiderman
mask on backwards
and ran into the bin.
[CRYING] Ow.
Hold on, mate. It's alright, darling.
Excuse me, mate.
Broken child here, mate.
- Thanks.
- [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
- Ow.
- It's seems like
Luke's right shoulder
has been dislocated.
We were swinging him by his arms.
In a fun way.
Yeah, you know when you each take a hand
and you lift them up and you swing them.
Yeah, no.
Right. Uh, well, Luke is fine,
thank you for asking.
Very well, in fact. Thriving.
Quite the catalogue of accidents.
Oh, I wouldn't say catalogue.
Pamphlet, maybe, a leaflet.
Everyone else in the family well?
Yeah, my dad's here, currently.
He had a fall.
That was nothing to do
with me. [CHUCKLES]
Not that my mum's injuries
are to do with me.
I mean they are to do with me,
'cause I caused them,
but for the right reason.
Well, my colleague will
check out your mum's bruises
and see if any treatment is needed.
[UPBEAT HARMONICA MUSIC]
♪♪
- Paul.
- Yeah, come in.
- Thanks for doing this.
- You're welcome.
Been trying to get a table
at this place for months.
Apparently they do things with scallops
beyond human imagining.
Hi, Mum. There's not much food
but you can give the kids
spaghetti with butter
and Marmite or sardines
and Ryvita, sorry.
- Where is he?
- Who?
Him. Your father.
I smell Green Irish Tweed
cologne and brown leather.
I'm wearing aftershave,
it might be that.
- I just bleached the sink.
- He's here.
Why have you got that
big shit in your house?
- Michael isn't here.
- He is.
- Michael isn't here.
- See?
He's at the pub with his friends
and he won't be back until very late.
Right, I can't be in a house
that man is staying in. Sorry.
- Leah.
- Ugh!
Twat.
[SIGHS]
We'd be on the grilled sea bass by now
if it wasn't for Luke.
Do we need onions?
We need everything. We have no food.
Michael has fed the 5,000 and
3,000 of them had seconds.
What, so are we all having
Spaghetti with butter and Marmite, yeah.
It's that or Shreddies
avec Thai red curry sauce.
I'll order a fridge full of food.
- Tom and Jerry fridge full.
- [WHISPERS] Yes.
Big ham and a shiny roast turkey
and a trifle and a cheese
with massive holes in it.
Luke, Ava, dinner's ready!
Coming!
Oi, slow down, careful on the stairs.
Michael was talking
about moving out today.
Okay, good.
- Do you want him gone?
- Hmm.
Ava, what cheese do you
want from the shop?
Monkey bum cheese.
Right, and if they haven't got that?
She likes Red Leicester.
I don't know if I want him gone.
Most of my life I've been
wanting him to come back.
Luke, dinner's ready!
Luke, down here now, you little sod!
You're already in my bad books.
Coming in a second!
No, not in a second, mate, now.
Quick smart or your
dinner goes in the bin, run!
Hurry! Hurry, hurry!
[PANTING, GASPS]
[THUDDING]
- Ah! [WAILING]
- Shit.
Ah! Ow! Ow!
- [CRYING] Ow!
- All right.
- You're mad.
- No, Ally, I'm serious.
I'm deadly serious.
We can't take him to hospital.
It hurts!
We are taking Luke to hospital.
No! The doctor made it very clear.
They already suspect that we are dodgy.
Now if we go in again with
another injury, another accident
- But it was an accident!
- Ow!
Do you really think they're
gonna take Luke into care?
Yes, yes I do.
Or he'll have to live
with foster parents.
- They'll probably be vegans.
- Oh, Paul.
- He hates chickpeas.
- Just calm down, calm down.
Right, what do you suggest we do then?
Look, if it is broken,
[EXHALES] can we set the bone ourselves?
Okay. How would we know if it was broken
and now would we reset a bone?
YouTube! Everything's on YouTube.
It's how I fixed the toilet.
We could end up permanently
disabling our son!
Yes I know, but it's either that
or "Hello, King Herod, back again?"
Oh, Christ.
Shh. Ow.
[SIREN WAILS]
- [WHIMPERING]
- All right. Come on then, mate.
- Come on, darling.
- Ow!
- Ow. Ow.
- Okay. All right. All right.
- [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
- It's okay, Luke.
We're gonna go in and
get your foot mended, okay?
Yes, yes, listen, mate.
You've got to tell them
that Mummy and Daddy
had nothing to do with this, all right?
'Cause we wouldn't hurt you,
we love you, don't we?
But you were running when
you shouldn't have been.
But you shouted at me to run,
"Hurry, hurry, hurry."
Okay, well I'm sorry about that.
So really it's your fault I slipped.
Listen, mate, if you'd come
down your fucking dinner when
All right.
I'm sorry I shouted.
Don't tell the doctor I shouted, okay?
Just think about what you're
saying if they ask you
- any questions, Luke.
- Mmhmm.
If I don't,
will you shoot me like you said?
- Yeah.
- [SIGHS] Come on.
- It hurts!
- I know, sit back.
Ow, ow.
Ow. [WHIMPERING]
Dr. Dimitrescu?
Ah.
What seems to be the
problem with this young man?
Running when he shouldn't have been?
[FORCED CHUCKLING]
- So, a bad sprain.
- Yes.
A few days off from school.
- Yay!
- And RICE therapy.
Rest, ice, compression, elevation.
Luke should be better soon.
Well, that is a relief.
Yes, that is. Thanks, Doctor.
And I'm going to ask
that someone visit you.
Just to chat about child
safety in and around the house.
Just to see if we can't make things
a little less dangerous
for Luke and Ava.
S I'm sorry, do you mean
the Social Services are gonna visit?
It is the local authority's
children services department
will be visiting, yes.
We're gonna get a visit
from Social Services?
Hmm.
Okay, well thanks, shall we
Come here, mate.
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
♪♪
[SIREN WAILING]
I'm so ashamed.
We've got fucking social
workers coming, Paul.
- No, I know, I heard.
- They're coming around to our house.
I mean that is serious, serious shit.
We need to change
how we are with the kids.
- You mean I need to change.
- No. We need to change.
That's why I said "we" and not "you."
Yeah, but I'm the one that
shouts at them, aren't I?
I'm the rager. I'm Hair Trigger Harry,
I'm the one who made
Luke run down the stairs.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Ally, I'm
I'm not an abuser, am I?
- Of course not.
- I mean I'd never hit them.
Luke's just had a lot of accidents.
Well, some psychologists would say
that nothing is ever really an accident.
I have never beaten you.
An adult shouldn't beat a child,
that's my motto.
Not really sure you
can claim that as yours.
I sometimes smacked you.
Back of the legs, fine.
And your mam hit you.
Women are allowed to hit.
But you were never beaten.
Many thanks.
Though it is a fine distinction.
- No, beating involves a shoe.
- Oh, it does?
Right, that's the UN definition, is it?
Well, a weapon of some kind.
Shoe, slipper, leather belt.
Ideally it's something you can wear
so you always have it with you.
- You don't hit your two, do you?
- No. Of course no.
Non-psychopaths don't hit
their children these days.
I mean I want to sometimes, Jesus.
Of course you do.
Humans have walloped the
living shit out of our kids
since caveman-times.
Right up until Live Aid.
It's only in this last
generation it's all changed.
Yeah, it was always wrong, Dad.
You can't teach right and
wrong through violence.
No?
No, I mean sometimes you can, I guess.
Maybe a swift wallop is better
than taking the iPad away
for a week or no chocolate
for a month or whatever.
It's quicker, but I couldn't
physically hurt my kids.
♪♪
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
♪♪
Do you think I'm
subconsciously hurting Luke?
- Oh, don't be daft.
- No, seriously.
Maybe I want to hit him
sometimes, like I was hit,
but I know I can't,
so I hurt him in other ways,
subconsciously via swings or stairs,
or a dislocated shoulder.
We both dislocated Luke's shoulder.
That's sweet of you to say.
Look, we are, we're in shock.
We just need to get some sleep.
[EXHALES]
Do you reckon they'll
go through the bins?
- See how much we drink?
- I don't know, Paul.
I really don't, 'cause I never been
in a fucking Ken Loach
film like this before.
Ally.
♪♪
Oh, it comes around again, doesn't it?
- What's that, Carl?
- Bin day.
You think it can't be
a week since I last put
the recycling out,
but of course, it always is.
You can't fight time.
- Carl, can we ask a favor?
- Of course, I'll be quiet.
No, no, it's not it's can we
put some of our
bottles in your recycling?
Uh, of course.
Yeah, I've only got an olive oil bottle,
a couple of Nutella jars.
Should be fine.
Thanks a lot. We've got some
People coming round.
Not to inspect us, just to observe.
- Is it the Social Services?
- What?
Why do you say that?
Well it's just sometimes
you shout, Paul.
At Luke and Ava, and people
can hear, neighbors,
and you swear sometimes,
and I know certain people have
thoughts about maybe calling
Are they talking about me?
About whether or not I'm a good father?
Fuckers in this terrace,
are they bitching about me?
Bitching's a strong word,
but probably the right one.
I don't need strangers to
tell me I'm a bad father,
I've got myself and the
Social Services to do that.
- How's your fridge?
- How do you mean?
Well my sister had a
visit when she was married
to a sociopathic narcissist,
no comparison intended,
and she said they checked
the fridge for food,
what your kids will eat tonight,
what they'll eat in the morning.
Well, it's empty, currently.
But we have got another delivery coming,
fuck, right about now.
Hun, we can't let them
see how the fridge is now.
It looks like a fridge
you'd leave by the road.
- Thank you, Carl.
- Good luck.
And if you need a character witness,
tell them to call the Nokia,
number's in my newsletter.
Okay.
[DOOR SHUTS]
[EXHALING]
Hey. What's what's this?
It was in the recycling.
- What's what?
- Hmm?
- Oh.
- Oh?
You're not eligible
for any state pension
because you didn't pay
your stamp for long enough.
- Were you gonna tell us?
- Sure, tonight.
I don't know how this
got in the recycling.
I must have just put it
in there by accident.
Some psychologists say
there are no accidents.
Then they're morons.
So you have no money at all,
and no prospect of any money at all.
I'll find a place.
Don't worry. I'll take a job
Michael, you're 70,
what are you gonna do for a living?
Be the face of fucking L'Oréal?
Now is not the time to deal with this.
I am not having our kids taken
away and replaced by you.
- That is not the plan.
- I understand.
I'll disappear before the
child catchers arrive.
- Fucking hell.
- Where's our shopping,
- by the way?
- Yeah, I know. It's late.
Do you want me to go
out and get some stuff?
No, there's no time,
and then we'll end up
- with two lots of shopping
- [PHONE RINGING]
and it'll look like mad over-caterers
making our kids obese.
- Hello?
- Is that Mr. Worsley?
- Yes it is.
- Your shopping delivery.
Oh right. Supermarket delivery guy.
- Oh.
- It's nose to tail here.
There's an accident up ahead,
so I'm gonna be late.
Very sorry, sir.
No, no, how late? You can't be late.
Oh, it seems like
a pretty major accident.
There's two air ambulances.
Looks like there's
definitely fatalities.
Right, but I do need my shopping.
Don't don't judge me.
If I don't get my shopping
in the next two minutes,
my children will be taken into care.
If you don't get your
shopping in the next
two minutes your children
will be taken into care?
Sounds unlikely, I know, but yes.
Look, is there another of
your vans just a minute or so
from my house who can give
me someone else's shopping?
I don't care what the shopping
is as long as it's food
and not just tampons and clingfilm.
Y you can't have
someone else's shopping,
- Mr. Worsley.
- [DOOR BUZZES]
God, it's the Stasi. They're early.
Fuck you. When my kids
are being diddled in a shed
by some bearded nonce,
it'll be your fucking fault.
- Hi.
- Hello.
BOTH: Hello.
- Do you yeah.
- Please.
Come in.
Thank you very much.
3,000 a month.
Bills included.
Boiler's just been serviced.
It is quite a challenging
house for young children.
Uh, yes, no.
We bought it when we
weren't thinking about kids.
Yeah. Not that we didn't want them.
We did. We do.
They mean everything to us.
[CHUCKLES] Yes.
How old are the children?
Four and seven.
Stair gates seem brand new.
Ordinarily with older children
you don't expect that
We panicked.
They are new. Sorry.
We just we put them in today.
We're scared.
We're scared. I'll be honest with you.
We're fucking terrified,
excuse my language.
We think you're going
to take the kids away
'cause I'm a monster.
Are you a monster?
He's definitely not a monster.
I try hard not to be a monster.
I mean I love those kids.
I don't want them hurt.
I don't hurt them.
But sometimes accidents just happen.
Look at Princess Diana
Although they do,
- sometimes think that
- Tsts-ts.
I'm gonna save you the trouble
of looking in the fridge.
It's a barren fridge.
Although we do actually
have a food truck coming.
I can show you the receipt, on my phone.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, see?
One substitution. A
different kind of ham.
That's fine.
This is obviously a home
where children are cared for.
The number of books, the variety
of clothes, bathroom toys.
It's clearly a very
child-centered household.
Yes, it is, thank you. Thank you.
So, have we passed?
It's not a question of passing.
Right. No. Yeah. But have we?
Uh, we just need to try and
avoid any further accidents
as much as possible in the future.
If we feel there's any
neglect of the children,
and that includes preventable accidents,
we can and will legally intervene.
- Understood.
- So we're sort of on probation.
Well, it could be worse, I suppose.
But obviously it could be a lot,
lot better too.
- Yeah.
- [DOOR BUZZES]
Excuse me.
Just a few details
Um does it come
You just have
if you press, lift, and then
Right.
You know what? I'll just
- Actually safer like that.
- Yeah.
See you later.
Oh.
Shall I bring the bags in, sir?
No, just hand them over's fine.
Cheers.
Sorry for swearing at you earlier.
Go fuck yourself, you little shit.
And we're good with
the ham substitution,
by the way.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪♪
♪♪
- I need a poo!
- I know, darling.
You said that 14 times already.
It's literally all I can think about.
- Can we go there?
- No.
- Why not?
- Because it's a shop
selling designer luggage
and we have no money.
We never go anywhere anyway, so.
- Oi!
- Can I go inside?
- It looks amazing.
- No, it's not amazing.
We need to get home.
Come here or I'll shoot you.
That's murder.
No, this right now, this is murder.
Come on, we need to get home
before Ava has an accident.
I'm gonna poo my pants like a big pig.
Pigs don't wear pants.
Is this where your dad needs to go?
No. Mum, mum, come back here.
Stop wandering off.
We know where we're going.
I know where we're going.
It's just up here.
It's the foot department, for one.
Foot-checking department.
Big old hospital, this.
There's no foot-checking department,
you're just having your ankle
looked at by the physio.
- My mum, your gran.
- Yeah.
Used to have a chiropodist visit.
She was housebound, so this foot fella
- came to the house.
- Mmhmm.
And the priest would
be round to say mass.
Oh, man.
- And the Corona lorry.
- Yeah.
Fizzy drinks.
[PHONE RINGS]
Laundry van for sheets.
[EXHALES]
[MUTTERS] Fuck me.
Hold it in, sweetheart.
Quick, quick, I need to go!
- Hurry up!
- Right.
There we go.
Upstairs, straight to the toilet.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Jellyfish sting is a thing,
but pissing on a bee sting,
that's a whole new territory.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Hey, sweetheart.
Don't worry,
these awful bastards are on their way.
Guys, Ally.
- Ally, these awful bastards.
- ALL: Hiya.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Ava, up you go for a poo.
Shout down when you need wiping.
- Careful on the stairs.
- Okay!
Well, fantastic meal, Mike.
Happy you enjoyed it.
So, Lamb and Flag tonight.
I might need a little help
with the dirty business.
No, no, we've got you covered, mate.
Just no single malts.
All right, agreed. Brandy it is.
[LAUGHTER]
On your way.
- See you soon.
- Oh, no, no, no,
I'll clear that up in a second.
Were those the same men
that were eating lunch
- here yesterday?
- Yeah, a couple of them.
It's nice to give a meal to people.
They're always buying me
drinks down at the pub.
Fucking hell, Michael,
you've used up all the food again.
Why didn't you just call
me when I was at the shops,
'cause I was literally
just at the shops.
Yeah. Well, I have a minor
issue with phone credit,
and with not actually
having a phone any more.
Right. Now have you
found a room yet or?
I'm getting there.
Believe me, I want to be out
of your hair every bit as
much as you want me to go.
I don't want you to go,
particularly, it's just
I need to hear about the
National Insurance thing,
find out what pension money I can claim.
- Right.
- Once I know how much
I'm getting,
I'll move into whatever place
I can afford, as God as my witness.
Okay. I mean, you are
welcome to stay here, obviously.
It's just at the same time, you aren't.
- Does that make sense?
- [CHUCKLES]
We don't want you living
anywhere too shitty.
- I've finished my messy poo!
- You know what I mean.
- [LAUGHING]
- Coming!
Oh, don't forget mum's
babysitting tonight,
so please make yourself invisible.
Mm-hmm.
[SIREN WAILING]
Do you want a tea from
the machine while we wait
for your dad to have his doings seen to?
Can we get a decent
coffee from over the road?
The machine's stuff always
tastes a bit like
- Piss.
- Yeah.
Hot piss, that burns
the roof of your mouth.
I want some nice fair-trade
piss from the caff.
- Do they do tea?
- Yeah, of course they do.
No, I mean do they do it properly
with loose leaves in a nice tea
- [HORN HONKING, SIREN WAILING]
- Mum!
- Oh!
- Fuck!
You just stepped in
front of an ambulance.
Oh, I never!
- You've broke my arm.
- I haven't.
- You've fractured me.
- No, I haven't.
I was saving her life.
- It's fine, mate.
- Dear!
You didn't see the big ambulance?
It don't half hurt.
Well, I'm sorry about this.
Let me take this.
We're gonna have a sit down.
- What, in there?
- Probably in there,
yeah, in the hospital. There you go.
Jesus Christ.
I was with Paul,
just out the front there,
and he went for me.
Grab her, she means, to save her.
He went for me arm, and me stomach.
No, don't say "went for."
I was stopping you getting run over.
If you could let your mother speak,
please, Mr. Worsley.
What? I was
With respect,
I wasn't stopping her from speaking.
I just want to hear what
happened in Jackie's own words.
Yeah, me too.
I'm trying to facilitate that
so we're all on the same page here.
- I'm very clumsy, aren't I?
- Yes, you are,
but don't say that like
I've asked you to say
Don't look at me; look at her.
He hasn't ordered me
to say anything, Doctor.
I'm under no threat
of any more violence.
- "Any more vi" Christ.
- I might ask you
to step into that cubical down
the call, Mrs. Worsley.
I'll have a colleague give
you a further examination
and see if there's any other bruising.
I hope you don't think it's
Paul's fault I got hurt.
We just need to look you over,
give you a bit of an MOT.
This is a kind son, really.
Although he did once smack
me in the face with a spade.
Plastic one, not a
Don't say that, Mum.
Christ, it was tiny and plastic
and for making sandcastles.
It was an accident, I was three.
You could have had me eye out.
He used to love being
all nude on the beach
- when he was a toddler.
- Christ.
Running round with
his funny little prawn
- out for all to see.
- Oh, man.
My colleague will be with you shortly.
Thank you.
Thanks. She really
was about to get run over.
- How's your son, Mr. Worsley?
- My s Luke, you mean?
Yes, he's fine, thanks. How do you
We've seen you before, right, with Luke?
- Yeah. Quite a few times.
- Mm-hmm.
[BABY CRYING]
[SIREN WAILING]
Doctor?
Hi, our baby fell off the sofa.
Yeah, he's hit his head.
We left the room for one second,
- and he slipped off.
- We put lots of cushions around him.
- But
- I'm sure he'll be fine.
- Come with me.
- Thank you.
[LUKE WHIMPERING]
Doctor! He flew out the swing.
I wasn't pushing him hard at all.
He's got quite weak arms, for a man.
- What?
- Come this way.
[SIREN WAILING]
[LUKE WHIMPERING]
Hi, he put his Spiderman
mask on backwards
and ran into the bin.
[CRYING] Ow.
Hold on, mate. It's alright, darling.
Excuse me, mate.
Broken child here, mate.
- Thanks.
- [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
- Ow.
- It's seems like
Luke's right shoulder
has been dislocated.
We were swinging him by his arms.
In a fun way.
Yeah, you know when you each take a hand
and you lift them up and you swing them.
Yeah, no.
Right. Uh, well, Luke is fine,
thank you for asking.
Very well, in fact. Thriving.
Quite the catalogue of accidents.
Oh, I wouldn't say catalogue.
Pamphlet, maybe, a leaflet.
Everyone else in the family well?
Yeah, my dad's here, currently.
He had a fall.
That was nothing to do
with me. [CHUCKLES]
Not that my mum's injuries
are to do with me.
I mean they are to do with me,
'cause I caused them,
but for the right reason.
Well, my colleague will
check out your mum's bruises
and see if any treatment is needed.
[UPBEAT HARMONICA MUSIC]
♪♪
- Paul.
- Yeah, come in.
- Thanks for doing this.
- You're welcome.
Been trying to get a table
at this place for months.
Apparently they do things with scallops
beyond human imagining.
Hi, Mum. There's not much food
but you can give the kids
spaghetti with butter
and Marmite or sardines
and Ryvita, sorry.
- Where is he?
- Who?
Him. Your father.
I smell Green Irish Tweed
cologne and brown leather.
I'm wearing aftershave,
it might be that.
- I just bleached the sink.
- He's here.
Why have you got that
big shit in your house?
- Michael isn't here.
- He is.
- Michael isn't here.
- See?
He's at the pub with his friends
and he won't be back until very late.
Right, I can't be in a house
that man is staying in. Sorry.
- Leah.
- Ugh!
Twat.
[SIGHS]
We'd be on the grilled sea bass by now
if it wasn't for Luke.
Do we need onions?
We need everything. We have no food.
Michael has fed the 5,000 and
3,000 of them had seconds.
What, so are we all having
Spaghetti with butter and Marmite, yeah.
It's that or Shreddies
avec Thai red curry sauce.
I'll order a fridge full of food.
- Tom and Jerry fridge full.
- [WHISPERS] Yes.
Big ham and a shiny roast turkey
and a trifle and a cheese
with massive holes in it.
Luke, Ava, dinner's ready!
Coming!
Oi, slow down, careful on the stairs.
Michael was talking
about moving out today.
Okay, good.
- Do you want him gone?
- Hmm.
Ava, what cheese do you
want from the shop?
Monkey bum cheese.
Right, and if they haven't got that?
She likes Red Leicester.
I don't know if I want him gone.
Most of my life I've been
wanting him to come back.
Luke, dinner's ready!
Luke, down here now, you little sod!
You're already in my bad books.
Coming in a second!
No, not in a second, mate, now.
Quick smart or your
dinner goes in the bin, run!
Hurry! Hurry, hurry!
[PANTING, GASPS]
[THUDDING]
- Ah! [WAILING]
- Shit.
Ah! Ow! Ow!
- [CRYING] Ow!
- All right.
- You're mad.
- No, Ally, I'm serious.
I'm deadly serious.
We can't take him to hospital.
It hurts!
We are taking Luke to hospital.
No! The doctor made it very clear.
They already suspect that we are dodgy.
Now if we go in again with
another injury, another accident
- But it was an accident!
- Ow!
Do you really think they're
gonna take Luke into care?
Yes, yes I do.
Or he'll have to live
with foster parents.
- They'll probably be vegans.
- Oh, Paul.
- He hates chickpeas.
- Just calm down, calm down.
Right, what do you suggest we do then?
Look, if it is broken,
[EXHALES] can we set the bone ourselves?
Okay. How would we know if it was broken
and now would we reset a bone?
YouTube! Everything's on YouTube.
It's how I fixed the toilet.
We could end up permanently
disabling our son!
Yes I know, but it's either that
or "Hello, King Herod, back again?"
Oh, Christ.
Shh. Ow.
[SIREN WAILS]
- [WHIMPERING]
- All right. Come on then, mate.
- Come on, darling.
- Ow!
- Ow. Ow.
- Okay. All right. All right.
- [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
- It's okay, Luke.
We're gonna go in and
get your foot mended, okay?
Yes, yes, listen, mate.
You've got to tell them
that Mummy and Daddy
had nothing to do with this, all right?
'Cause we wouldn't hurt you,
we love you, don't we?
But you were running when
you shouldn't have been.
But you shouted at me to run,
"Hurry, hurry, hurry."
Okay, well I'm sorry about that.
So really it's your fault I slipped.
Listen, mate, if you'd come
down your fucking dinner when
All right.
I'm sorry I shouted.
Don't tell the doctor I shouted, okay?
Just think about what you're
saying if they ask you
- any questions, Luke.
- Mmhmm.
If I don't,
will you shoot me like you said?
- Yeah.
- [SIGHS] Come on.
- It hurts!
- I know, sit back.
Ow, ow.
Ow. [WHIMPERING]
Dr. Dimitrescu?
Ah.
What seems to be the
problem with this young man?
Running when he shouldn't have been?
[FORCED CHUCKLING]
- So, a bad sprain.
- Yes.
A few days off from school.
- Yay!
- And RICE therapy.
Rest, ice, compression, elevation.
Luke should be better soon.
Well, that is a relief.
Yes, that is. Thanks, Doctor.
And I'm going to ask
that someone visit you.
Just to chat about child
safety in and around the house.
Just to see if we can't make things
a little less dangerous
for Luke and Ava.
S I'm sorry, do you mean
the Social Services are gonna visit?
It is the local authority's
children services department
will be visiting, yes.
We're gonna get a visit
from Social Services?
Hmm.
Okay, well thanks, shall we
Come here, mate.
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
♪♪
[SIREN WAILING]
I'm so ashamed.
We've got fucking social
workers coming, Paul.
- No, I know, I heard.
- They're coming around to our house.
I mean that is serious, serious shit.
We need to change
how we are with the kids.
- You mean I need to change.
- No. We need to change.
That's why I said "we" and not "you."
Yeah, but I'm the one that
shouts at them, aren't I?
I'm the rager. I'm Hair Trigger Harry,
I'm the one who made
Luke run down the stairs.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Ally, I'm
I'm not an abuser, am I?
- Of course not.
- I mean I'd never hit them.
Luke's just had a lot of accidents.
Well, some psychologists would say
that nothing is ever really an accident.
I have never beaten you.
An adult shouldn't beat a child,
that's my motto.
Not really sure you
can claim that as yours.
I sometimes smacked you.
Back of the legs, fine.
And your mam hit you.
Women are allowed to hit.
But you were never beaten.
Many thanks.
Though it is a fine distinction.
- No, beating involves a shoe.
- Oh, it does?
Right, that's the UN definition, is it?
Well, a weapon of some kind.
Shoe, slipper, leather belt.
Ideally it's something you can wear
so you always have it with you.
- You don't hit your two, do you?
- No. Of course no.
Non-psychopaths don't hit
their children these days.
I mean I want to sometimes, Jesus.
Of course you do.
Humans have walloped the
living shit out of our kids
since caveman-times.
Right up until Live Aid.
It's only in this last
generation it's all changed.
Yeah, it was always wrong, Dad.
You can't teach right and
wrong through violence.
No?
No, I mean sometimes you can, I guess.
Maybe a swift wallop is better
than taking the iPad away
for a week or no chocolate
for a month or whatever.
It's quicker, but I couldn't
physically hurt my kids.
♪♪
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
♪♪
Do you think I'm
subconsciously hurting Luke?
- Oh, don't be daft.
- No, seriously.
Maybe I want to hit him
sometimes, like I was hit,
but I know I can't,
so I hurt him in other ways,
subconsciously via swings or stairs,
or a dislocated shoulder.
We both dislocated Luke's shoulder.
That's sweet of you to say.
Look, we are, we're in shock.
We just need to get some sleep.
[EXHALES]
Do you reckon they'll
go through the bins?
- See how much we drink?
- I don't know, Paul.
I really don't, 'cause I never been
in a fucking Ken Loach
film like this before.
Ally.
♪♪
Oh, it comes around again, doesn't it?
- What's that, Carl?
- Bin day.
You think it can't be
a week since I last put
the recycling out,
but of course, it always is.
You can't fight time.
- Carl, can we ask a favor?
- Of course, I'll be quiet.
No, no, it's not it's can we
put some of our
bottles in your recycling?
Uh, of course.
Yeah, I've only got an olive oil bottle,
a couple of Nutella jars.
Should be fine.
Thanks a lot. We've got some
People coming round.
Not to inspect us, just to observe.
- Is it the Social Services?
- What?
Why do you say that?
Well it's just sometimes
you shout, Paul.
At Luke and Ava, and people
can hear, neighbors,
and you swear sometimes,
and I know certain people have
thoughts about maybe calling
Are they talking about me?
About whether or not I'm a good father?
Fuckers in this terrace,
are they bitching about me?
Bitching's a strong word,
but probably the right one.
I don't need strangers to
tell me I'm a bad father,
I've got myself and the
Social Services to do that.
- How's your fridge?
- How do you mean?
Well my sister had a
visit when she was married
to a sociopathic narcissist,
no comparison intended,
and she said they checked
the fridge for food,
what your kids will eat tonight,
what they'll eat in the morning.
Well, it's empty, currently.
But we have got another delivery coming,
fuck, right about now.
Hun, we can't let them
see how the fridge is now.
It looks like a fridge
you'd leave by the road.
- Thank you, Carl.
- Good luck.
And if you need a character witness,
tell them to call the Nokia,
number's in my newsletter.
Okay.
[DOOR SHUTS]
[EXHALING]
Hey. What's what's this?
It was in the recycling.
- What's what?
- Hmm?
- Oh.
- Oh?
You're not eligible
for any state pension
because you didn't pay
your stamp for long enough.
- Were you gonna tell us?
- Sure, tonight.
I don't know how this
got in the recycling.
I must have just put it
in there by accident.
Some psychologists say
there are no accidents.
Then they're morons.
So you have no money at all,
and no prospect of any money at all.
I'll find a place.
Don't worry. I'll take a job
Michael, you're 70,
what are you gonna do for a living?
Be the face of fucking L'Oréal?
Now is not the time to deal with this.
I am not having our kids taken
away and replaced by you.
- That is not the plan.
- I understand.
I'll disappear before the
child catchers arrive.
- Fucking hell.
- Where's our shopping,
- by the way?
- Yeah, I know. It's late.
Do you want me to go
out and get some stuff?
No, there's no time,
and then we'll end up
- with two lots of shopping
- [PHONE RINGING]
and it'll look like mad over-caterers
making our kids obese.
- Hello?
- Is that Mr. Worsley?
- Yes it is.
- Your shopping delivery.
Oh right. Supermarket delivery guy.
- Oh.
- It's nose to tail here.
There's an accident up ahead,
so I'm gonna be late.
Very sorry, sir.
No, no, how late? You can't be late.
Oh, it seems like
a pretty major accident.
There's two air ambulances.
Looks like there's
definitely fatalities.
Right, but I do need my shopping.
Don't don't judge me.
If I don't get my shopping
in the next two minutes,
my children will be taken into care.
If you don't get your
shopping in the next
two minutes your children
will be taken into care?
Sounds unlikely, I know, but yes.
Look, is there another of
your vans just a minute or so
from my house who can give
me someone else's shopping?
I don't care what the shopping
is as long as it's food
and not just tampons and clingfilm.
Y you can't have
someone else's shopping,
- Mr. Worsley.
- [DOOR BUZZES]
God, it's the Stasi. They're early.
Fuck you. When my kids
are being diddled in a shed
by some bearded nonce,
it'll be your fucking fault.
- Hi.
- Hello.
BOTH: Hello.
- Do you yeah.
- Please.
Come in.
Thank you very much.
3,000 a month.
Bills included.
Boiler's just been serviced.
It is quite a challenging
house for young children.
Uh, yes, no.
We bought it when we
weren't thinking about kids.
Yeah. Not that we didn't want them.
We did. We do.
They mean everything to us.
[CHUCKLES] Yes.
How old are the children?
Four and seven.
Stair gates seem brand new.
Ordinarily with older children
you don't expect that
We panicked.
They are new. Sorry.
We just we put them in today.
We're scared.
We're scared. I'll be honest with you.
We're fucking terrified,
excuse my language.
We think you're going
to take the kids away
'cause I'm a monster.
Are you a monster?
He's definitely not a monster.
I try hard not to be a monster.
I mean I love those kids.
I don't want them hurt.
I don't hurt them.
But sometimes accidents just happen.
Look at Princess Diana
Although they do,
- sometimes think that
- Tsts-ts.
I'm gonna save you the trouble
of looking in the fridge.
It's a barren fridge.
Although we do actually
have a food truck coming.
I can show you the receipt, on my phone.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, see?
One substitution. A
different kind of ham.
That's fine.
This is obviously a home
where children are cared for.
The number of books, the variety
of clothes, bathroom toys.
It's clearly a very
child-centered household.
Yes, it is, thank you. Thank you.
So, have we passed?
It's not a question of passing.
Right. No. Yeah. But have we?
Uh, we just need to try and
avoid any further accidents
as much as possible in the future.
If we feel there's any
neglect of the children,
and that includes preventable accidents,
we can and will legally intervene.
- Understood.
- So we're sort of on probation.
Well, it could be worse, I suppose.
But obviously it could be a lot,
lot better too.
- Yeah.
- [DOOR BUZZES]
Excuse me.
Just a few details
Um does it come
You just have
if you press, lift, and then
Right.
You know what? I'll just
- Actually safer like that.
- Yeah.
See you later.
Oh.
Shall I bring the bags in, sir?
No, just hand them over's fine.
Cheers.
Sorry for swearing at you earlier.
Go fuck yourself, you little shit.
And we're good with
the ham substitution,
by the way.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪♪