Bros (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

1
INSPIRED BY REAL EVENTS
-[crowd shouting]
-[relaxing guitar music playing]
Come on, Nisso.
Hurry up, dude, let's go. He'll be back.
[Nisso] Help me. Push!
[both straining]
-It's hard.
-[groans]
-I'll go first.
-Wait. You're always first. It's my turn.
-Hurry up, Pini.
-I'm stuck.
[Nisso] Stuck? I told you not to eat
that stew today.
[Pini] Shut up and help me!
-[Nisso straining]
-[Pini] Push, damn it! Push me in!
Go!
Go!
[crowd shouting]
[Pini] This is cool.
Like the stadiums in Europe.
Nachum, you idiot.
You're spitting shells on us.
What can I do? They're sunflower seeds.
You should just be glad
I'm not eating pumpkin seeds, you guys.
Pass to Malmilian! You got this!
How's your dad?
In the hospital still. I came from there.
It's all right.
[fans shouting]
Go on, kick!
Go!
-Whoa!
-[fan] Whoa!
[Nachum] Oh, damn, my leg! Ow! Damn it!
You you saved me.
I could have died.
Hey, you really think I'd let you fall?
We're together forever.
Beitar Jerusalem.
Why do you say "Beitar Jerusalem"?
They belong together.
[quirky theme song playing]
BROS
Hey, easy, okay?
Hey, please put it down. Put down the gun.
-I'm going to be a father.
-It's okay.
-It's not him, I brought us.
-I'll shoot you both for trespassing.
Why are you here, boys?
We've got a BMW, look.
-What do you mean? Who wanted it?
-No, no, let's go. We made a mistake.
No mistake. A couple of years ago,
I bought some parts here for my car.
So I thought maybe you might want
If you're not interested,
we'll find someone else.
You think I'm some criminal
who buys stolen cars, huh?
You think we're cops?
Why are you putting ideas in his head?
We're not cops.
No microphones, nothing, I'm clean.
-Show him. Get undressed.
-What the fuck, man.
Why are you undressing me?
I don't have a mic.
If I was a cop, I wouldn't need it.
I'd pull out a gun and shoot you.
-You have a gun?
-Hey, who said a gun?!
N-No. He's clean. Here, look.
Nothing. Show him, here.
Show him your socks! Show him your socks!
He's clean. No gun!
-Clean.
-It's smooth.
You're both just some morons, huh?
Yes, yes, we're both
just a couple of morons. Cool?
Go on, get lost.
-You and your nonsense.
-Let's go somewhere else.
Hell no, I don't want
to go somewhere else.
[gunman] Wait.
What do you guys want?
[softly] How much should we say?
I don't want to say anything,
I don't want to be here.
Hey, look [clears throat]
If you look at the Blue Book
on this model,
this car sells
at the dealership for $200,000.
Fuck you.
I'll give you 30.
A hundred grand.
[Pini] You're haggling with him?
He can pay whatever he likes.
He can have it for free for all I care.
30,000. Be grateful you're leaving
with cash and not a bullet in your head.
-Done.
-We're not done, it's not a game show.
Done?
It's done. It's done.
It's the fair arrangement.
Really. The fact that you've been
negotiating, it's very nice of you.
Say as part of this deal, uh
can you take us home, man?
We're out in the boondocks
and we came in the car.
And if we give it to you,
we don't have a ride.
Leave him alone.
Leave him alone, he's busy.
What the fuck are you bothering him for?
He's not an Uber driver.
It's fine. We're good.
Stay right here, assholes.
Wait.
Would you have a bathroom?
Are you serious?
Eh I have to pee.
He didn't ask you if it was
a number one or number two.
Hold it in, holy fuck.
I'm sorry. So is there a bathroom?
Piss anywhere you want to, okay?
Piss already, go piss!
[unzips zipper]
[urinating]
[zips zipper]
What's fucking $30,000 for this car, dude?
Thirty thousand? It's just the wheels.
Wait a sec.
Why are you running? What's wrong?
Are you really asking me that?
You didn't see that?
The guy put a gun to my brain,
you fucking idiot!
I could have died.
I never would have met my kid.
You kidding me?
That's how these people say hello.
What's wrong with you, huh?
You have a death wish,
jumping in front of guns, huh?
'Cause that asshole fucked us over.
What's 30 big ones?
It's not enough for anything.
It solves nothing, Pini.
What are you proposing?
Don't you hear what I'm saying?
I will not let go of the bar.
When did I say I was giving up the bar?
-So what do we do?
-No idea.
But let's not die here.
Listen, we have to think outside the box.
Even do something radical.
We're both at war now.
Nisso, I won't do something radical.
We do what we can,
and if it works, that's great.
I can't risk my life now.
Do you follow me?
No, right. You can't risk your life.
Let's go see Aharon.
Why Aharon?
Aharon. We'll explain what his bimbo
daughter is trying to do to us right now.
He wouldn't go along with that; he's been
friends with my dad for 50 years.
That's a good idea, speak to Aharon.
Go alone? You're coming with.
No, he's friends with your dad.
He'll listen to you.
Besides, man-to-man is easier.
It's less intimidating.
You're probably right.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
[Nisso] Yeah.
[Pini] Nisso!
[stone hits jacket]
-What?
-Move it!
[Nisso] You could have killed me.
If I wanted to, I would have killed you.
[relaxing music playing]
It's a lovely garden, Aharon, really nice.
[chuckles]
You want a cookie?
[Pini] Ah! I've had three already.
Keep telling me to have a cookie.
You want me to look like a hippopotamus?
So, you understand
what I'm telling you, right?
Why, of course, of course.
Your daughter.
Now, she's very charming. Coral.
I can see you raised her very well.
But you know what it's like,
young folks have no patience.
And we have no problem, I can
give her everything she asked of me,
but you know,
we need a little while to get ready.
We can't give it all to her right away.
We're not moving anywhere. Come on.
It's ten years with you and
I don't owe you a dime.
You people are very good.
Wow, bless your heart.
Listen, we don't need
some contract, do we?
It's ten years,
and I haven't looked at it once.
A handshake on everything, huh?
You and my dad were like brothers, yeah?
Your father ended up the first man
in our bunch who hired a whore.
[Aharon chuckles softly]
What?
Yeah, he had the balls. Yeah.
We each gave him five dollars to have
sex with her and to tell us all about it.
[chuckling]
-I was sure that my mom was his first.
-Hmm
Uh anyway. Aharon, we agreed, right?
And then he became addicted to her.
He fell in love. [chuckles]
Each time he got his allowance,
he'd go to her.
Drop it. It's uncomfortable, okay?
You people are very good, you know.
Thanks, Aharon.
So that's it? We have a deal?
You'll go to your sweet daughter Coral.
And please explain to her
just what's going on.
Easy peasy, okay?
Cookie, my boy?
Now, since the deal is done,
I'll have another.
[chuckling]
Your father ended up the first man
in our bunch who hired a whore.
[coughs]
Aharon, you told me that.
You don't have to tell me again, okay?
[chuckles] Yes, he had the balls.
We each gave him five dollars to have sex
with her and to tell us all about it.
Yeah, fine. I got it.
You know, I think maybe we should
put all we said down in writing.
Draft a little contract?
And then he became addicted to her.
[chuckling]
He fell in love.
Each time he got his allowance,
he'd go to her.
-Say, Aharon?
-Hmm?
Everything I said to you about Coral,
you understood, right?
Coral? Yes.
And she's crawling.
Eight months and she's crawling.
Who's crawling?
Coral.
She's crawling.
Grandpa, would you like something to eat?
God save us.
[Meir] How can I help you?
Do you have those
light bulbs on the string?
-I have all kinds of bulbs.
-No, no.
You know, the small
tiny ones connected by a wire?
-You have a birthday at the bar?
-The match with Beitar. Duh.
Ah, you believe you own the city?
I can't stand Beitar.
[Rotem] Don't be like that.
I was born red, what can I say?
I love basketball, Hapoel.
-This is what you wanted, right?
-Yep. Perfect.
-And I'm billing this with Piniones?
-Yes.
[turning page]
Say, um
when's your groom going to settle up?
Enough with the groom talk.
He's certainly not my groom.
Ah!
That's the problem with your generation.
Once you live with each other,
there's no rush at all.
We had to marry
to leave our parents' houses.
I know.
[sighs] Nisso's sweet.
He came to make you a key
like he was picking out a ring.
I even remember the keychain he picked.
A heart.
Although I did recommend the teddy bear.
It's bigger, it doesn't get lost.
You like the heart, right?
Uh yeah, for sure.
[relaxing music playing]
What do you think?
About what?
The lights.
Um, very nice. You did great.
And how are you?
[Nisso] I'm fine.
You don't look it.
Hmm. You say.
I don't know, it's just that
it looks like you're suffering like me.
So, I don't know.
Is it time to talk about it?
What would you like to talk about?
You had a key made for me?
Uh, what?
I know you had a key made for me.
You know Meir, he doesn't shut up.
What's happening?
Your feet get cold
because of something I said?
Is it because of the lampshade?
Did I do anything weird?
Was I too pushy? What?
Because if it's that,
it's fine, all right?
I thought we were on
the same wavelength, but I guess
my speech or the key thing
flipped you out and you started stressing,
but that wasn't my intention.
I'm okay with both of us
living in our own apartment,
and when you're ready, then perfect.
That's not it.
What is it?
It's not about the key. Forget it.
So, what then?
It's just done, it isn't working.
All right, fine.
I get it, it's not working.
Ah, but you tell me why not?
When did you decide it's over?
-It has nothing to do with anything
-Rotem.
It doesn't work.
We don't have a future.
So forget it.
-Everything is good?
-Yeah.
-Enjoy. L'chaim! L'chaim!
-[upbeat music playing]
[Adir scoffs]
Hey, look up, man.
Sorry, I didn't see you.
Right, how could you, slammed like this?
What's with the screen? Game day?
No, no.
Tonight we're showing Legally Blonde.
-Your place is gonna clear out.
-[chuckles]
That's good.
This could help you.
Slowly, slowly,
but your place always fills up later.
Get the milk off your lips, kid.
This corner has been
our home for ten years.
I'm kidding, guy, respect.
Hey, did you make
an offer for the Buddha Bar?
[sighs] Are you competing
against your own place, then?
No, of course not. I'm opening a bakery.
Anyone with the munchies
will drop money there.
-We want to own this whole block.
-Oh, yeah?
This is a strong group.
Really loaded.
Good for you.
What's up, Pini?
Good. We on schedule?
We're set for tonight?
Yeah, ready for that.
Uh
I just needed to tell you
What is it?
Uh
-You know.
-Should I kill him for you?
I wish. [chuckles]
No. I've got to quit.
Here.
You're not hiding it at all?
That's it? We're in Amsterdam?
Take some.
No, not me.
That's okay, grandpa.
Right, I'm grandpa?
You sit with this bottle of extra fine,
killing us with that smell.
Look, the sun hasn't even set
and his place is filled.
[patrons cheering]
-It's packed at the end of the night too.
-He saw the potential of a dance bar.
[Pini] I went to see the old man.
He is really out of it.
We have a problem, all right?
We have to figure out what to do.
Listen, I got it.
We get rid of Yardena,
break the walls down,
build ourselves a dance bar
and it's adiós, Adir.
She will die in that store.
Forget it, they tried moving her before.
Besides, who really cares about Yardena?
We can't even afford our own place.
Something you aren't telling me?
Rotem is leaving.
It's a big loss.
She's our best.
You and your bullshit.
Lay off, huh?
How can you break up with her?
Who the fuck are, you stupid ape?
Who'd want you?
Yardena came over and she saw the tables.
What a ball buster.
That stupid bitch.
What are you doing?
It won't help.
Don't try to sweet talk me now.
Sweet talk? What do we ask?
One time, this game is historic.
Obstructing what? What's your problem?
You want cash? Really? Cash?
Why do we have to pay you?
Your store is closed!
Oh, wow, you sure have a mouth on you.
Let's go, move this table now.
Okay, we heard you, Yardena.
You, go inside.
-Go inside, you punk. Go on.
-Don't order me around, understand?
I'm leaving this right here, so fuck off!
You've got some nerve.
Go to hell, get it out of here.
What's wrong with you, man?
Shut your fucking mouth. Get inside.
Sorry, Yardena.
Rotem, move the table?
That goddamn bitch!
Fuck.
Why are we even here?
Everything's ready.
I gotta blow off steam.
Let's get to the game.
[upbeat music playing]
[commentator] It's a big evening
in Jerusalem and the feeling is festive.
Wisła Kraków are already warming up
on the field and the stands are full.
Beitar Jerusalem.
This is their big chance
to make it to the Champions League.
You can cut the tension with a knife.
Hey, guys. Hey, guys. A scarf for ten.
Yeah, snack on sunflower seeds,
two for five.
Today we're gonna show
the Poles we mean business.
Let's go Beitar.
-You can't go in with that.
-It's all good, don't worry. Come on.
What the fuck, Nisso? What for?
Come on, we're here to watch the game,
have some fun; don't get us in trouble.
What are you now, Grandpa Geppetto?
Relax. It's fine. You don't know me.
[air horn blows]
Wow, it's so noisy. Pini, can you hear me?
-[Pini] Yeah, I'm right here.
-Ah, 'cause this is great.
-Guess who I ran into in Jerusalem?
-Who?
I ran into Yifat.
We grew up together, uh
You remember her, right?
Yeah, her husband
lived in Jerusalem for years.
[Pini] Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you know, um
and they both live here in the moshav.
She moved here.
They love it so much.
He says it's the greatest thing ever.
Hey, he wants to talk to you.
Only if you cook the kebab
with the lamb fat.
Only if you cook your kebab
with the lamb fat.
[Pini] What, today?
Yes, today.
They're both here in Jerusalem.
-You said Nisso was closing the bar.
-Yeah, Nisso will close.
I'll just head to the bar
to make sure everything's cool.
So go on, get out the minced meat,
chop some parsley.
Awesome, hun.
Wish us luck, my love, okay?
Well, good luck.
-Best of luck. Good luck. Stick it to 'em.
-Destroy 'em.
-All right, kisses, babe. I love you, huh?
-Bye.
They brought all the cops in Jerusalem.
What are you talking about?
They always do.
Just get rid of it.
What, he might press the jewels?
[Pini] Yeah, but look,
he's frisking everyone.
What if he feels your pecker, schmuck?
You got square balls?
Yeah. I'll say it's a defect.
-What's this?
-What's what?
-In your pocket.
-An apple.
-Pomegranates?
-They're not in season.
Let's see it.
-It's an apple, see?
-You can't take that in.
Why can't I take in an apple?
-Have you ever been hit by an apple, sir?
-It's not to throw, it's to eat.
If it was a banana
or some soft little fruit you know.
Is that really it?
So if this apple was soft
and a little mealy, you'd let it in,
but a crunchy apple that you really
want to bite into, that's no good?
You're holding me up.
Either you leave the apple right here
or I'll have you removed.
You're hassling me for an apple?
Guys bring drugs into the stadium.
-Who's bringing in drugs?
-He's just fucking with you.
Throw the apple away, throw it away!
[Pini] I'll be hungry,
and that's your fault.
[crowd chanting "Go Beitar!" in Hebrew]
Get there. Right there!
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
No, no!
[crowd groans]
-Oh, man!
-He's a bitch!
-I can't believe he was so far off.
-He had a kick from a different angle.
-I'll go down there.
-What are you gonna do?
I'll blow this horn
in the Polish coach's ear.
I'll make his mother go deaf!
Oh, my God.
That was so fucking close, man.
We have to score.
Are you serious? Come on.
Do it in the bathroom, dude.
Why? Are we at the Cameri Theater?
We could light a fire if we want.
Unreal.
-What is that, hash?
-Shut up. Don't say anything.
Hey, buddy. What are you doing?
What's up, man?
Kids are at the game.
Adults came too.
Officer, there's somebody there
smoking hashish.
-[officer] Where?
-Next to the kids.
They're gonna bust you. Let's cheer.
-Let's cheer!
-[crowd cheering]
Did you see him?
Go!
Yes!
[loud cheering]
[Nachum] Hey, we won, man!
-[horns honking]
-[crowd clamoring]
[laughter, cheering]
[reggae band playing]
Hagit. Table ten, they've been
waiting half an hour for food.
You should see how swamped
the kitchen is with orders.
Give them a round of shots for waiting.
-Yeah, fine.
-Wait.
Hey, uh, where's Nisso?
He was here before, wasn't he?
-Before? I haven't seen him all night.
-I don't know.
[Nachum off-key]
Witnessed by the stars above ♪
-The dream that is our love ♪
-[breathy notes from horn]
God will always be our witness ♪
-[Nachum] Why'd you stop?
-[coughs] As if. My throat is trash.
You realize I've been blowing
this horn since 9:00 a.m.
and the Polish coach is officially deaf?
I blew it in his ear,
turned the game around.
So you know, because of me,
it turned the fucking game around.
Absolutely. He was confused.
It screwed up his decision making.
You won the game, Yaffit.
-[chuckles]
-Are you being sarcastic?
-Nachum, are you making fun of me?
-No, for real.
It felt as if my hands
were attached to a car battery.
It was a love truck!
-I almost blew the top of his head off.
-Goosebumps like that.
After the second goal, I almost fainted.
-I had to pour Coke on him.
-Yeah, Coke, yeah.
I almost choked on the Coke. [laughs]
-Too bad you didn't, though.
-Why are you being nasty?
A perfectly good Coke
and I have to waste it on Nachum.
My lips were all salty
from the sunflower seeds.
Hey, so where's Nisso? Anyone seen him?
Oh, Nisso, he's probably celebrating.
-Not since that cop chased him out.
-And he's shameless about it.
I could smell his weed the entire game.
You saved him from the cops, Pini.
-Too bad they didn't catch him.
-Don't be like that.
-That's no way to talk, it's mean.
-Forget him, he's a maniac.
He does that to my cousin?
What's his problem, huh?
Think I know what goes on
between two people?
I'm not part of it. They're grown-ups.
Look, look how gorgeous she is.
Dumps her, my ass.
She's dumped a lot of better men.
Come on, we won. L'chaim.
-Cheers, Pini.
-Cheers.
L'chaim.
Go ahead, take a shot.
I don't drink alone. You have one too.
-Are you trying to get me drunk?
-No, the opposite.
I like to see you smile.
-I really shouldn't, but
-[chuckles]
There we go.
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
Whoa.
[sighs]
Cheers.
Cheers, man.
It's so great we won the match.
A tie in Poland and we play Barcelona.
Yeah, absolutely, a tie would be a dream.
Where's Nisso?
I don't know. Making the rounds
on the patio tables, I guess.
If you say so.
[phone beeping]
-Let's do another. Pour it.
-That's enough.
ALMA: WHERE ARE YOU?
-[Rotem] Seriously?
-Of course. One last one.
[Rotem] Take it easy.
PINI: LEAVING SOON
[man] Come on, one more can't hurt.
[animal bellowing]
[suspenseful music playing]
[snoring]
[static buzzing]
[softly] Fuck.
[snoring continues]
-[metal clangs]
-[music stops]
[dogs barking in distance]
[groans]
[man sniffles]
[groans softly]
[suspenseful music resumes]
[dish clatters]
[softly] Shh! Son of a bitch.
What?
What? What did you say?
No, no, not you, the dish.
Go back to sleep.
So did you close after all?
[clears throat]
Yeah, the mess was huge.
Eww. Wow, you stink.
[sniffs]
I'll shower.
The hot water's gone.
I'll sleep on the couch.
[Alma] You realize they sat here
for three hours? They came for you.
It was embarrassing.
Sorry, I
-I'll go in there.
-Go.
[dish clatters]
[Pini softly] God damn it. Fuck!
[lock clicks]
[pensive music playing]
[glass bangs]
[door clattering]
Yardena, that bitch.
[bangs head on door] Ugh!
So many locks.
It's like she has diamonds in here.
It's just old lady dresses.
-[sighs]
-[door clattering]
[wardrobe rattles]
[crashes on floor]
Shh!
[gasps] Fuck you, whore.
Bingo. [chuckles]
[sighing]
Shit. Oh, fuck!
-[arm clatters]
-Steel, steel.
Steel.
Steel.
[screams]
[fire crackling]
[mysterious music playing]