Chad Powers (2025) s01e03 Episode Script
3rd Quarter
1
[birdsong]
[Chris] grandest stage
in American sports, Kirk.
A chance for some of that
patented Rose Bowl magic.
Tie game, a chance for one
more play in regulation.
-[birdsong continues]
-[Russ panting]
Stiff arm, huge block!
[Kirk] Oh, my God!
[Chris] Inside the 30, this is insane!
To win a championship, Oregon
[Kirk] Wait a second,
Georgia's picked the ball up.
Did he drop that ball
before he got to the goal line?
Georgia sure thinks he did.
-[crowd cheering]
-[Chris] Georgia is gonna win
a championship in the most outrageous,
improbable, painful way
for Holliday and the Ducks to lose.
[Kirk] We've sadly come to expect this
from Holliday throughout his career.
This is gonna haunt him, really,
for the rest of his life.
Can you imagine the NFL?
As good as Holliday is,
do you want this guy
to be the face of your fran--
[light music playing]
Even for Holliday, this is a new low.
-[players chattering]
-[marching band playing]
[whistle blowing]
[Coach Byrd] Powers!
Powers, right now, come here.
[Chad's voice] Am I goin' in?
Looks like it.
Alright, Chad's time to shine, baby! Whoo!
What are we doin', Coach?
[team chattering]
[Byrd] Come on. Gerry's gotta take a leak.
-Take the cup.
-What-- what is this for?
I don't want anyone to see my ding-a-ling.
Oh, no! What what?
-Why are you squatting to pee?
-It's easier this way.
-Can you stop holding my hand?
-[Gerry] Here it comes!
-Here comes the tee-tee!
-[Russ] Oh, God. It's hot.
-[Gerry sighing in relief]
-It's like sizzlin'.
Just-- just watch
where you're aiming, please.
[Coach Hudson]
Pressure on the next series, got it?
Fellas, what's going on?
Come on, we got the ball!
-Stuff's still coming out, Coach!
-Still coming out, Coach!
Wait, wh-- oh! Well, do a Kegel!
Pinch it off! [clapping] Come on!
-Pinch it, just pinch it. Be careful.
-[Gerry grunting]
Hey, Chad, you're a great backup.
-[whistle blowing]
-[crowd cheering]
Guess we're sticking with Gerry.
This is his urine.
It's weird that you're still holding it.
-It's weird--
-I don't know what to do with it.
Well
-[urine splashing]
-[Russ] Okay.
Thank you.
-Thanks, Coach.
-You're welcome.
You gonna wash your hands?
[crowd groaning]
[triumphant theme playing]
[Sean McDonough] That's another sack
taken by Gerry Dougan.
And, Greg, that's the kind of
home opener it's been
for South Georgia
here at Riverbend Stadium.
Yeah, it's been a slog, for sure.
I mean, down 13-3,
and this Catfish offense
can't seem to get anything going.
-Gerry!
-Come on, come on. Come on, come on.
You okay? Huh?
I didn't know I could get hit
this much and not die.
-Yeah.
-The effects on the skeleton
are long-term.
Don't worry about your skeleton, alright?
Look, we're gonna slow things down.
We're gonna make 'em
play our game, alright?
-TV timeout's almost over.
-Should we pray?
God's not real, son.
Now, you get your ass back out there.
[slaps buttocks]
[announcer]
come back from this time-out,
third down and 10.
You are an incredible motivator
of young men.
Thanks, Coach.
[tobacco tin smacking]
[cheerleaders] Go Fish! Go Fish!
Go Fish! Go Fish!
[crowd cheering, chanting]
[Ricky] Start warming up.
-Why?
-'Cause we're not gonna come back
with this dink-and-dunk bullshit
from Gerry.
-Did one of the coaches say I should--
-I am one of the coaches.
Yes, ma'am.
[Greg McElroy]
If you're the quarterback,
you have to find a way to provide
a spark to this offense.
[Sean] Absolutely.
South Georgia has to come away
with points on this drive.
You see this formation?
Cover 2 Man.
Every time we go twins on third down,
they're giving us this look.
All game.
We can expose 'em. [scoffs]
[players shouting]
-[crowd groaning]
-For fuck's sake.
Fuckin' fuck. Throw the fucking ball.
Do you wish you could play football?
Why do you think I ran track?
Gotta compete somehow.
I bet you won all the races.
[scoffs] Some of 'em, yeah.
Made it all the way to Olympic qualifying.
-Wow.
-But then on the last turn,
I, uh, clipped a hurdle and
fucked my knee, and my attitude.
Didn't ever win again.
Dang it.
Yes, Chad. Dang it.
[cheerleaders] Go Fish! Go Fish!
Go Fish! Go Fish!
Go Fish! Go Fish!
Go Fish!
-Hey, Ricky.
-Yeah?
Did your dad ask you to warm up Powers?
No, but I think he should be warming up.
I think he should stay loose.
Ricky, stay in your own fucking lane.
[cheerleaders] Go Fish!
Gerry's having
a tough enough time tonight.
If he sees you and Sling Blade
over here playing catch,
it could get into his head.
Right, 'cause we're about
to blow this game wide open.
I got an idea.
Why don't you go find me
an empty Gatorade bottle?
-Would you do that?
-Why?
'Cause I need a spitter,
and it'll give you something to do, right?
[drum line playing]
-[normal voice] What are you doing?
-[Danny] What are you doing?
I can see how horny you are
from across the field!
I'm not horny.
[Danny] You are clearly horny
for the coach's PAWG daughter.
You're gay.
How do you know what a fuckin' PAWG is?
It's a "Phat ass white girl."
It behooves me to know.
Obviously,
Ricky's got a chip on her shoulder.
So, exploit the PAWG
to get Chad into the game.
You know,
I think you just like saying PAWG.
[Danny] I do like saying it.
PAWG. PAWG. PAWG.
[Sean] Gerry Dougan trying to capitalize
on this trip to the red zone.
[Greg] Yeah, the way the game
has gone offensively,
the last thing you wanna do is--
[Davis]
Tricia, you can't smoke in the suite.
Uh [scoffs] Well, when you paid
for the Jumbotron, you can smoke anywhere.
[laughing] You didn't write that check.
You may have his money,
but you are not your daddy.
[Tricia chuckles]
Oh, Davis.
We're almost at the end
of the third quarter.
Don't you-- don't you need
to get to the airport?
-Airport?
-Mm-hmm.
Don't you always scoot early
'cause your plane's little engine
takes so long to warm up?
Now, we're comparing jets.
Oh, no. I have a jet.
You have a Sybian with wings.
Probably a woman pilot.
I do not have a woman pilot.
And what's wrong with a woman pilot?
N-Nothing.
Come on. Let's push it!
Gun Double Right, 52 Zig, Omaha.
We need six, Gerry.
[Greg] God, if I'm him, I'm looking
in the direction of Nishan Leonard here.
-Nishan.
-Come on, Nishan, Nishan. Nishan.
[Greg] He floats one over the middle.
[crowd groaning]
[Tricia] Goddamn!
[Sean]
And it's intercepted in the end zone.
Picked off by Ole Miss.
And Sherill runs it back to the 30.
[Greg] That was just
an awful pass by Dougan.
-Fuckin' had 'em.
-What'd you say?
[Chad's voice] Up and at 'em!
Just-- just to myself.
[marching band playing]
Fuck, man!
[high-pitched squealing
over headphones]
I lost radio.
-Me too.
-Yeah?
Straight up bullshit!
Goddamn it, Nishan!
You could've electrocuted us
like a goddamn eel!
Yeah, well, eels ain't electric.
Eels are classically electric!
What, do you ever go to class?
Yo, man, what-- what we talkin' about?
Are we talkin' about the game
-or we talkin' about animal class?
-Hey, hey, hey.
[radio static]
-Check, check, check.
-[static continues]
-Come on
-Okay, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna head out.
Not because my plane engines
-need time to warm up, okay?
-Mm-hmm.
It's just 'cause it's obvious
we're gonna lose.
Yeah. We'll see about that.
[crowd chanting]
Defense! Defense!
[Russ] Hey, Coach?
What's up?
That third down look you saw,
when you said we could
expose their secondary?
What about it?
Do you have a play to expose 'em?
[scoffs]
Yeah.
We, uh, Gun Right, Zip 72.
Aggie Special.
Mm!
Yeah, I don't think Gerry
can make that throw.
Uh, you know-- you know at practice,
Coach Dobbs said I was mentally retarded.
But he said Gerry's physically retarded.
-Okay.
-I can make that throw.
One Gerry can't make, I can make it.
'Cause I think the Catfish,
we need a different kind of retard.
You might think so,
but o-obviously, Coach doesn't.
Nah, I think he'd listen to you.
I mean, think about it.
It's like, inside of your ovaries,
you carry the eggs of his grandbabies.
What are you talking-- w-why?
I mean, he listens to you
'cause he's your dad.
Out here, he's not.
He's not-- he's not my dad,
and I am not his daughter.
But why?
I mean, it's bad enough
that a girl's on the sideline.
Like she doesn't even deserve her job.
Daddy gave it to her.
-Says who?
-[scoffs] Everyone in the stadium.
Everyone in the stadium believes that.
I mean, sounds like
they're just a bunch of re--
You don't need to say it again.
Alright, let's prove 'em wrong.
[Byrd] Rick.
Headsets gone to shit.
Where's the backups?
What?
They're-- they're in the equipment room.
-Alright, can you get 'em?
-Right now?
We're not winning this game without radio.
-Alright, well, maybe--
-Okay.
-Uh yeah, yeah. Alright, I'm on it.
-Maybe we can finish the conversation--
[tense music playing]
♪♪
Oh! Ricky, thank God!
What are you doing down here?
We're in the middle of a game.
I know! And we're getting our asses
handed to us on a silver platter.
Got one of them round things on top,
they lift it up, it's just ass.
Yeah. Well, I-- I gotta get these headsets
-back to the sideline.
-Oh, terrific.
That's where I was heading
till I got lost.
Oh.
Alright, can-- can you be on the sideline?
I don't know, can I?
I I-- I don't really know.
I don't-- I don't know what the rules are.
Oh, well, I-- I-- I don't really know
if I give a shit.
-Oh, God.
-Let's go!
Okay.
[crowd cheering]
[dramatic music playing]
[animated chomping sounds]
You're fast.
I train to one day run from the poor.
[both cheering]
-[stadium announcer] Go Fish!
-[crowd cheering]
Go Fish, come on.
-Why do you keep looking at that guy?
-[Danny] Who?
The backup QB, Chad something.
[Danny] Why are you looking
at where I'm looking?
[Sasha] Ew, are you fucking him?
No. He's fucking me.
He's, like, extremely ugly.
Got the headsets. I got 'em.
Oh, hey, Ricky, we actually
got these working, but thanks.
Oh.
No worries. Just fuck me, right?
-[Tricia] Coach!
-Tricia.
Boosters really shouldn't
be on the sideline.
-And yet, here I am, hm?
-It's the fourth quarter, we can--
Yeah, I wanna know how it's gonna
be different than the other three.
Okay, well, you're gonna find out
with everybody else.
Now, what are we thinking? Rattle 34?
Oh, so we're just gonna punt again, huh?
[blows raspberry]
We don't have to.
Coach.
When they go Cover 2 Man,
their safeties are lining up really wide.
We can attack the middle
of the field vertically.
[Tricia] Oh!
Coach, that's-- that's not a bad idea,
but, um
Gerry can't make the throw.
I can.
Chad can.
He can do it.
I think, honestly, no offense to Gerry.
I think we need a--
a different kind of retard at QB.
I do take offense.
You said that really offensively.
Sweetheart, we're only down ten points
at the beginning of the fourth quarter.
Okay, but you know when
ten points feels like three,
and you also know when it feels like 21.
This feels like 21.
Okay, so you want to switch
quarterbacks in our opener?
-I
-So, if Chad shits the bed,
then you've ruined Chad and Gerry.
I'm not gonna shit the bed.
You've never played
on a stage this big, okay?
It's no fault of your own.
-You could shit the bed.
-Well, you wouldn't even know.
The bed's already covered in shit.
It's Gerry's shit.
You know, the bed's full of turds.
They're falling out,
they're moving their way
into the hallway. No offense.
Everything you guys are saying
is really offensive.
-[whistle blowing]
-Okay, okay.
Now the play clock's going.
Who are you going with?
I am Team Ricky, y'all.
Change can be invigorating.
-Let's just try--
-This is not
fucking play-calling Congress!
-I just want to win, Coach.
-[Tricia] Yes.
[Ricky] I wanna win!
Look, Gerry is our quarterback.
-[Ricky] I know.
-So, drop it, sweetheart.
Holy shit, can you please stop
fucking calling me sweetheart?
Oh, my God, will you get over it?
I call you sweetheart because--
because I'm your dad.
And you're lucky that I'm your dad,
because it's the only reason I indulge
this insubordinate crap!
We're gonna lose.
We're gonna lose, and you're the only one
who doesn't see it. Just like with Wendy.
You're done for the night. Off the field!
-Are you serious?
-Now!
Fuck! Timeout, timeout.
-[whistle blowing]
-[crowd groaning]
[Sean]
And Jake Hudson has to burn a timeout
at the start of the quarter!
[Greg] Yeah, what a disaster.
The Catfish sideline--
[crowd jeering]
Give Gerry the play.
-Ricky's play?
-No.
[crowd continues jeering]
Word of advice on daughters, Coach--
Tricia. Truly
-Mm-hmm.
-you cannot be here right now.
-Yep.
-You need to go.
Folks have been telling me all night
what I can't do.
I want you to know what I can do,
if I have to.
[crowd] [chanting] Fire Hudson!
-Listen.
-[crowd] Fire Hudson!
Fire Hudson!
-Fire Hudson!
-[clearing throat]
-[crowd] Fire Hudson!
-Not now.
Hey, Coach. You alright?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was an awesome interaction,
both personally, professionally,
in front of fucking everyone.
Yeah. I didn't mean for it to go that way.
That wasn't-- that wasn't you.
That was-- that was me.
That was my shit,
that's-- that's what I do.
-[sighs]
-And lose.
I fucking lose and then I just melt down.
And from the jaws of defeat,
I snatch more defeat.
Yeah. Losin' sucks.
Didn't you just start
playing organized football?
What have you lost, Chad?
Enough.
I know what it's like
to just wanna win again.
You might have come to the wrong team.
[sighs]
Jake Hudson talking to his daughter Ricky
who's an offensive assistant
for the Catfish.
The play clock is running
and running and running,
and it looked like they were
totally oblivious to it.
[Greg] And the temperature,
I think, turning up
on that hot seat
that Jake Hudson's on right now
here in Riverbend Stadium.
[marching band playing]
-[calling play]
-[players chattering]
Hey, watch out, watch out!
-[bones snapping]
-Ah!
-[whistle blows]
-[crowd groaning]
[Gerry grunting]
Oh, my God, he came at me so fast.
I honestly thought he was gonna attack me.
Mother father!
[Gerry groaning]
[Gerry continues groaning]
[Sean] So, Gerry Dougan is down.
And it looks like Jake Hudson's
going to have to turn
to the backup quarterback, Chad Powers.
How could Jesus let this happen?!
Chad.
I know--
I know I told you that you weren't ready.
But screw that.
You were born for this moment.
[inspiring music playing]
Try to remember eight-year-old Chad Powers
with the arm of an M61 Vulcan
throwin' footballs through a tire swing.
Every up, every down,
every choice, every mistake
carried you here to this spot.
Where you belong.
Life is a river, son.
Tonight
you become a Catfish.
♪♪
Are you-- are you gonna say
something weird?
[uplifting music continues]
[announcer] In at quarterback
for the Catfish, number 2,
-Chad Powers!
-[crowd cheering]
Powers.
Second down and ten for the Catfish.
[Byrd] Mic check.
We're gonna go Gun, Trips Right,
Wide Left, Smash Bow.
-[uplifting music plays]
-[crowd cheering]
[whistle blowing]
Okay.
It's me now.
Gun, Trips Right,
Wide Left, Smash Bow.
-On one! Ready!
-[players clapping]
[Greg] Chad Powers is a bit of an unknown.
And all we know about Powers
is that he won the backup job
at an open tryout just a couple weeks ago.
[crowd cheering]
Come on, come on.
[Danny] Come on, Russ.
Wide 80! Wide 80, set!
[crowd cheering]
-[Greg] Powers is under pressure.
-Get rid of it, get rid of it!
[Greg] He rolls away from it
as the defense closes in
and he had to throw it away.
-[clapping]
-[announcer] Incomplete pass
[Byrd] Gun, Bunch Left,
Air Fly, 50 Magic.
-[Russ] Ready!
-[players clapping]
[Sean] Powers is looking
at third and long,
and it feels like this game
is hanging in the balance.
-[crowd cheering]
-Attack the ball!
Wide 80.
Wide 80, set!
-[Gary] Powers under pressure
-Get it to Nishan!
[Sean]
Fires over the middle and it's caught!
Nishan Leonard, a big first down.
[crowd cheering]
[Greg] What a throw by Powers.
-[announcer] First down, Catfish.
-There you go.
Okay, let's go, go, go!
[Greg] Hitting the open Leonard in stride.
[Sean] And just like that,
the stadium crowd
-here at Riverbend is right back into it.
-Come on, Chad, giddy up.
[crowd cheering]
[Byrd]
Alright, Chad, we're going Longhorn.
Alright, boys! We're going Longhorn.
We're going Longhorn on one. On one.
-Ready!
-[players clapping]
[Sean] Sometimes the backup quarterback
is the spark a team needs.
-[cheerleaders cheering]
-[dramatic music playing]
[whistle blowing]
Wide 80. Wide 80, set.
♪♪
[Greg] Looking to pass.
And he's gonna take off.
Holy shit!
Unhitch that trailer, here we go!
Come on, Powers. Go, Powers!
Go, go, go!
[dramatic music continues]
[Russ panting]
[crowd cheering]
[announcer] Touchdown, Catfish!
[crowd cheering]
And that's Chad Powers for the--
What the fuck are you doing?
[crowd cheering]
Oh, momma! Oh!
[Sean] The Catfish still down by three,
and the clock is winding down.
[Greg] They gotta find a way
to get the ball back.
[Sean] Ole Miss hands it off to Mitchell.
He gets stopped! And the ball is--
Loose! That's our ball!
That's our ball! That's our ball!
-[whistles blowing]
-[Sean] The ball is free.
I'm not sure who has it.
Catfish ball. Catfish ball.
[crowd cheering]
[Sean] South Georgia
comes away with the ball.
-Fuck yes!
-[Sean] My goodness!
Let's go!
[sighs] Alright.
[Sean] Chad Powers has the Catfish
at the Ole Miss 40,
but it's third and long
and the clock is under a minute.
[Greg] You know Jake Hudson really wishes
he had that wasted timeout back.
[Byrd] Alright, Chad.
Gun, Deuce Right, 50. Charlie Dagger.
Gun, Deuce Right, 50,
Charlie Dagger on one.
-On one, ready!
-[players clapping]
[Greg] Can Chad Powers pull off a miracle.
There it is.
[dramatic music playing]
[players chattering]
[Jake] [on headset]
What's happening, Chad?
[Greg] He's not snapping the ball.
I don't understand what he's doing.
The clock is running!
[Jake] Run the play we called, Chad.
What's happening? Is he having an episode?
-I don't know, Coach.
-Coach, we got 20 seconds, no timeouts.
Alright, easy, easy, easy!
We're going Aggie Special, Aggie Special!
Did he just call his own audible?
What's he doing?!
♪♪
-Is that Aggie?
-It's Ricky's play.
[uplifting music playing]
[Jake] If you ever fucking do this again,
I will kill you.
But right now, win this bitch.
Set!
[Sean] Powers in the gun,
it all comes down to this.
Wide 80, set!
Ah!
[Sean] Lets it fly toward the end zone
[crowd cheering]
-Touchdown!
-Fuck yeah!
Yeah! Let's go!
-Yes! Yes!
-[TV thudding]
-[crowd cheering]
-Yes! Yes!
Oh, my God! Yes!
-Go Fish! Go Fish!
[uplifting music playing]
Who the fuck is that guy!
[uplifting music continues]
[cheering continues]
-[crowd cheering faintly]
-[marching band playing faintly]
Why aren't you celebrating?
I am.
Go Fish.
Go Fish.
["Fishin' in the Dark"
by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band playing]
You and me going fishin' in the dark ♪
Lyin' on our backs
and counting the stars ♪
Where the cool grass grows ♪
Down by the river
in the full moonlight ♪
We'll be fallin' in love
in the middle of the night ♪
Just movin' slow ♪
Stayin' the whole night through ♪
Feels so good to be with you ♪
Spring is almost over
and the summer's come ♪
And the days are gettin' long ♪
I've waited all winter
for the time to be right ♪
Just to take you along ♪
Baby, get ready ♪
[birdsong]
[Chris] grandest stage
in American sports, Kirk.
A chance for some of that
patented Rose Bowl magic.
Tie game, a chance for one
more play in regulation.
-[birdsong continues]
-[Russ panting]
Stiff arm, huge block!
[Kirk] Oh, my God!
[Chris] Inside the 30, this is insane!
To win a championship, Oregon
[Kirk] Wait a second,
Georgia's picked the ball up.
Did he drop that ball
before he got to the goal line?
Georgia sure thinks he did.
-[crowd cheering]
-[Chris] Georgia is gonna win
a championship in the most outrageous,
improbable, painful way
for Holliday and the Ducks to lose.
[Kirk] We've sadly come to expect this
from Holliday throughout his career.
This is gonna haunt him, really,
for the rest of his life.
Can you imagine the NFL?
As good as Holliday is,
do you want this guy
to be the face of your fran--
[light music playing]
Even for Holliday, this is a new low.
-[players chattering]
-[marching band playing]
[whistle blowing]
[Coach Byrd] Powers!
Powers, right now, come here.
[Chad's voice] Am I goin' in?
Looks like it.
Alright, Chad's time to shine, baby! Whoo!
What are we doin', Coach?
[team chattering]
[Byrd] Come on. Gerry's gotta take a leak.
-Take the cup.
-What-- what is this for?
I don't want anyone to see my ding-a-ling.
Oh, no! What what?
-Why are you squatting to pee?
-It's easier this way.
-Can you stop holding my hand?
-[Gerry] Here it comes!
-Here comes the tee-tee!
-[Russ] Oh, God. It's hot.
-[Gerry sighing in relief]
-It's like sizzlin'.
Just-- just watch
where you're aiming, please.
[Coach Hudson]
Pressure on the next series, got it?
Fellas, what's going on?
Come on, we got the ball!
-Stuff's still coming out, Coach!
-Still coming out, Coach!
Wait, wh-- oh! Well, do a Kegel!
Pinch it off! [clapping] Come on!
-Pinch it, just pinch it. Be careful.
-[Gerry grunting]
Hey, Chad, you're a great backup.
-[whistle blowing]
-[crowd cheering]
Guess we're sticking with Gerry.
This is his urine.
It's weird that you're still holding it.
-It's weird--
-I don't know what to do with it.
Well
-[urine splashing]
-[Russ] Okay.
Thank you.
-Thanks, Coach.
-You're welcome.
You gonna wash your hands?
[crowd groaning]
[triumphant theme playing]
[Sean McDonough] That's another sack
taken by Gerry Dougan.
And, Greg, that's the kind of
home opener it's been
for South Georgia
here at Riverbend Stadium.
Yeah, it's been a slog, for sure.
I mean, down 13-3,
and this Catfish offense
can't seem to get anything going.
-Gerry!
-Come on, come on. Come on, come on.
You okay? Huh?
I didn't know I could get hit
this much and not die.
-Yeah.
-The effects on the skeleton
are long-term.
Don't worry about your skeleton, alright?
Look, we're gonna slow things down.
We're gonna make 'em
play our game, alright?
-TV timeout's almost over.
-Should we pray?
God's not real, son.
Now, you get your ass back out there.
[slaps buttocks]
[announcer]
come back from this time-out,
third down and 10.
You are an incredible motivator
of young men.
Thanks, Coach.
[tobacco tin smacking]
[cheerleaders] Go Fish! Go Fish!
Go Fish! Go Fish!
[crowd cheering, chanting]
[Ricky] Start warming up.
-Why?
-'Cause we're not gonna come back
with this dink-and-dunk bullshit
from Gerry.
-Did one of the coaches say I should--
-I am one of the coaches.
Yes, ma'am.
[Greg McElroy]
If you're the quarterback,
you have to find a way to provide
a spark to this offense.
[Sean] Absolutely.
South Georgia has to come away
with points on this drive.
You see this formation?
Cover 2 Man.
Every time we go twins on third down,
they're giving us this look.
All game.
We can expose 'em. [scoffs]
[players shouting]
-[crowd groaning]
-For fuck's sake.
Fuckin' fuck. Throw the fucking ball.
Do you wish you could play football?
Why do you think I ran track?
Gotta compete somehow.
I bet you won all the races.
[scoffs] Some of 'em, yeah.
Made it all the way to Olympic qualifying.
-Wow.
-But then on the last turn,
I, uh, clipped a hurdle and
fucked my knee, and my attitude.
Didn't ever win again.
Dang it.
Yes, Chad. Dang it.
[cheerleaders] Go Fish! Go Fish!
Go Fish! Go Fish!
Go Fish! Go Fish!
Go Fish!
-Hey, Ricky.
-Yeah?
Did your dad ask you to warm up Powers?
No, but I think he should be warming up.
I think he should stay loose.
Ricky, stay in your own fucking lane.
[cheerleaders] Go Fish!
Gerry's having
a tough enough time tonight.
If he sees you and Sling Blade
over here playing catch,
it could get into his head.
Right, 'cause we're about
to blow this game wide open.
I got an idea.
Why don't you go find me
an empty Gatorade bottle?
-Would you do that?
-Why?
'Cause I need a spitter,
and it'll give you something to do, right?
[drum line playing]
-[normal voice] What are you doing?
-[Danny] What are you doing?
I can see how horny you are
from across the field!
I'm not horny.
[Danny] You are clearly horny
for the coach's PAWG daughter.
You're gay.
How do you know what a fuckin' PAWG is?
It's a "Phat ass white girl."
It behooves me to know.
Obviously,
Ricky's got a chip on her shoulder.
So, exploit the PAWG
to get Chad into the game.
You know,
I think you just like saying PAWG.
[Danny] I do like saying it.
PAWG. PAWG. PAWG.
[Sean] Gerry Dougan trying to capitalize
on this trip to the red zone.
[Greg] Yeah, the way the game
has gone offensively,
the last thing you wanna do is--
[Davis]
Tricia, you can't smoke in the suite.
Uh [scoffs] Well, when you paid
for the Jumbotron, you can smoke anywhere.
[laughing] You didn't write that check.
You may have his money,
but you are not your daddy.
[Tricia chuckles]
Oh, Davis.
We're almost at the end
of the third quarter.
Don't you-- don't you need
to get to the airport?
-Airport?
-Mm-hmm.
Don't you always scoot early
'cause your plane's little engine
takes so long to warm up?
Now, we're comparing jets.
Oh, no. I have a jet.
You have a Sybian with wings.
Probably a woman pilot.
I do not have a woman pilot.
And what's wrong with a woman pilot?
N-Nothing.
Come on. Let's push it!
Gun Double Right, 52 Zig, Omaha.
We need six, Gerry.
[Greg] God, if I'm him, I'm looking
in the direction of Nishan Leonard here.
-Nishan.
-Come on, Nishan, Nishan. Nishan.
[Greg] He floats one over the middle.
[crowd groaning]
[Tricia] Goddamn!
[Sean]
And it's intercepted in the end zone.
Picked off by Ole Miss.
And Sherill runs it back to the 30.
[Greg] That was just
an awful pass by Dougan.
-Fuckin' had 'em.
-What'd you say?
[Chad's voice] Up and at 'em!
Just-- just to myself.
[marching band playing]
Fuck, man!
[high-pitched squealing
over headphones]
I lost radio.
-Me too.
-Yeah?
Straight up bullshit!
Goddamn it, Nishan!
You could've electrocuted us
like a goddamn eel!
Yeah, well, eels ain't electric.
Eels are classically electric!
What, do you ever go to class?
Yo, man, what-- what we talkin' about?
Are we talkin' about the game
-or we talkin' about animal class?
-Hey, hey, hey.
[radio static]
-Check, check, check.
-[static continues]
-Come on
-Okay, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna head out.
Not because my plane engines
-need time to warm up, okay?
-Mm-hmm.
It's just 'cause it's obvious
we're gonna lose.
Yeah. We'll see about that.
[crowd chanting]
Defense! Defense!
[Russ] Hey, Coach?
What's up?
That third down look you saw,
when you said we could
expose their secondary?
What about it?
Do you have a play to expose 'em?
[scoffs]
Yeah.
We, uh, Gun Right, Zip 72.
Aggie Special.
Mm!
Yeah, I don't think Gerry
can make that throw.
Uh, you know-- you know at practice,
Coach Dobbs said I was mentally retarded.
But he said Gerry's physically retarded.
-Okay.
-I can make that throw.
One Gerry can't make, I can make it.
'Cause I think the Catfish,
we need a different kind of retard.
You might think so,
but o-obviously, Coach doesn't.
Nah, I think he'd listen to you.
I mean, think about it.
It's like, inside of your ovaries,
you carry the eggs of his grandbabies.
What are you talking-- w-why?
I mean, he listens to you
'cause he's your dad.
Out here, he's not.
He's not-- he's not my dad,
and I am not his daughter.
But why?
I mean, it's bad enough
that a girl's on the sideline.
Like she doesn't even deserve her job.
Daddy gave it to her.
-Says who?
-[scoffs] Everyone in the stadium.
Everyone in the stadium believes that.
I mean, sounds like
they're just a bunch of re--
You don't need to say it again.
Alright, let's prove 'em wrong.
[Byrd] Rick.
Headsets gone to shit.
Where's the backups?
What?
They're-- they're in the equipment room.
-Alright, can you get 'em?
-Right now?
We're not winning this game without radio.
-Alright, well, maybe--
-Okay.
-Uh yeah, yeah. Alright, I'm on it.
-Maybe we can finish the conversation--
[tense music playing]
♪♪
Oh! Ricky, thank God!
What are you doing down here?
We're in the middle of a game.
I know! And we're getting our asses
handed to us on a silver platter.
Got one of them round things on top,
they lift it up, it's just ass.
Yeah. Well, I-- I gotta get these headsets
-back to the sideline.
-Oh, terrific.
That's where I was heading
till I got lost.
Oh.
Alright, can-- can you be on the sideline?
I don't know, can I?
I I-- I don't really know.
I don't-- I don't know what the rules are.
Oh, well, I-- I-- I don't really know
if I give a shit.
-Oh, God.
-Let's go!
Okay.
[crowd cheering]
[dramatic music playing]
[animated chomping sounds]
You're fast.
I train to one day run from the poor.
[both cheering]
-[stadium announcer] Go Fish!
-[crowd cheering]
Go Fish, come on.
-Why do you keep looking at that guy?
-[Danny] Who?
The backup QB, Chad something.
[Danny] Why are you looking
at where I'm looking?
[Sasha] Ew, are you fucking him?
No. He's fucking me.
He's, like, extremely ugly.
Got the headsets. I got 'em.
Oh, hey, Ricky, we actually
got these working, but thanks.
Oh.
No worries. Just fuck me, right?
-[Tricia] Coach!
-Tricia.
Boosters really shouldn't
be on the sideline.
-And yet, here I am, hm?
-It's the fourth quarter, we can--
Yeah, I wanna know how it's gonna
be different than the other three.
Okay, well, you're gonna find out
with everybody else.
Now, what are we thinking? Rattle 34?
Oh, so we're just gonna punt again, huh?
[blows raspberry]
We don't have to.
Coach.
When they go Cover 2 Man,
their safeties are lining up really wide.
We can attack the middle
of the field vertically.
[Tricia] Oh!
Coach, that's-- that's not a bad idea,
but, um
Gerry can't make the throw.
I can.
Chad can.
He can do it.
I think, honestly, no offense to Gerry.
I think we need a--
a different kind of retard at QB.
I do take offense.
You said that really offensively.
Sweetheart, we're only down ten points
at the beginning of the fourth quarter.
Okay, but you know when
ten points feels like three,
and you also know when it feels like 21.
This feels like 21.
Okay, so you want to switch
quarterbacks in our opener?
-I
-So, if Chad shits the bed,
then you've ruined Chad and Gerry.
I'm not gonna shit the bed.
You've never played
on a stage this big, okay?
It's no fault of your own.
-You could shit the bed.
-Well, you wouldn't even know.
The bed's already covered in shit.
It's Gerry's shit.
You know, the bed's full of turds.
They're falling out,
they're moving their way
into the hallway. No offense.
Everything you guys are saying
is really offensive.
-[whistle blowing]
-Okay, okay.
Now the play clock's going.
Who are you going with?
I am Team Ricky, y'all.
Change can be invigorating.
-Let's just try--
-This is not
fucking play-calling Congress!
-I just want to win, Coach.
-[Tricia] Yes.
[Ricky] I wanna win!
Look, Gerry is our quarterback.
-[Ricky] I know.
-So, drop it, sweetheart.
Holy shit, can you please stop
fucking calling me sweetheart?
Oh, my God, will you get over it?
I call you sweetheart because--
because I'm your dad.
And you're lucky that I'm your dad,
because it's the only reason I indulge
this insubordinate crap!
We're gonna lose.
We're gonna lose, and you're the only one
who doesn't see it. Just like with Wendy.
You're done for the night. Off the field!
-Are you serious?
-Now!
Fuck! Timeout, timeout.
-[whistle blowing]
-[crowd groaning]
[Sean]
And Jake Hudson has to burn a timeout
at the start of the quarter!
[Greg] Yeah, what a disaster.
The Catfish sideline--
[crowd jeering]
Give Gerry the play.
-Ricky's play?
-No.
[crowd continues jeering]
Word of advice on daughters, Coach--
Tricia. Truly
-Mm-hmm.
-you cannot be here right now.
-Yep.
-You need to go.
Folks have been telling me all night
what I can't do.
I want you to know what I can do,
if I have to.
[crowd] [chanting] Fire Hudson!
-Listen.
-[crowd] Fire Hudson!
Fire Hudson!
-Fire Hudson!
-[clearing throat]
-[crowd] Fire Hudson!
-Not now.
Hey, Coach. You alright?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was an awesome interaction,
both personally, professionally,
in front of fucking everyone.
Yeah. I didn't mean for it to go that way.
That wasn't-- that wasn't you.
That was-- that was me.
That was my shit,
that's-- that's what I do.
-[sighs]
-And lose.
I fucking lose and then I just melt down.
And from the jaws of defeat,
I snatch more defeat.
Yeah. Losin' sucks.
Didn't you just start
playing organized football?
What have you lost, Chad?
Enough.
I know what it's like
to just wanna win again.
You might have come to the wrong team.
[sighs]
Jake Hudson talking to his daughter Ricky
who's an offensive assistant
for the Catfish.
The play clock is running
and running and running,
and it looked like they were
totally oblivious to it.
[Greg] And the temperature,
I think, turning up
on that hot seat
that Jake Hudson's on right now
here in Riverbend Stadium.
[marching band playing]
-[calling play]
-[players chattering]
Hey, watch out, watch out!
-[bones snapping]
-Ah!
-[whistle blows]
-[crowd groaning]
[Gerry grunting]
Oh, my God, he came at me so fast.
I honestly thought he was gonna attack me.
Mother father!
[Gerry groaning]
[Gerry continues groaning]
[Sean] So, Gerry Dougan is down.
And it looks like Jake Hudson's
going to have to turn
to the backup quarterback, Chad Powers.
How could Jesus let this happen?!
Chad.
I know--
I know I told you that you weren't ready.
But screw that.
You were born for this moment.
[inspiring music playing]
Try to remember eight-year-old Chad Powers
with the arm of an M61 Vulcan
throwin' footballs through a tire swing.
Every up, every down,
every choice, every mistake
carried you here to this spot.
Where you belong.
Life is a river, son.
Tonight
you become a Catfish.
♪♪
Are you-- are you gonna say
something weird?
[uplifting music continues]
[announcer] In at quarterback
for the Catfish, number 2,
-Chad Powers!
-[crowd cheering]
Powers.
Second down and ten for the Catfish.
[Byrd] Mic check.
We're gonna go Gun, Trips Right,
Wide Left, Smash Bow.
-[uplifting music plays]
-[crowd cheering]
[whistle blowing]
Okay.
It's me now.
Gun, Trips Right,
Wide Left, Smash Bow.
-On one! Ready!
-[players clapping]
[Greg] Chad Powers is a bit of an unknown.
And all we know about Powers
is that he won the backup job
at an open tryout just a couple weeks ago.
[crowd cheering]
Come on, come on.
[Danny] Come on, Russ.
Wide 80! Wide 80, set!
[crowd cheering]
-[Greg] Powers is under pressure.
-Get rid of it, get rid of it!
[Greg] He rolls away from it
as the defense closes in
and he had to throw it away.
-[clapping]
-[announcer] Incomplete pass
[Byrd] Gun, Bunch Left,
Air Fly, 50 Magic.
-[Russ] Ready!
-[players clapping]
[Sean] Powers is looking
at third and long,
and it feels like this game
is hanging in the balance.
-[crowd cheering]
-Attack the ball!
Wide 80.
Wide 80, set!
-[Gary] Powers under pressure
-Get it to Nishan!
[Sean]
Fires over the middle and it's caught!
Nishan Leonard, a big first down.
[crowd cheering]
[Greg] What a throw by Powers.
-[announcer] First down, Catfish.
-There you go.
Okay, let's go, go, go!
[Greg] Hitting the open Leonard in stride.
[Sean] And just like that,
the stadium crowd
-here at Riverbend is right back into it.
-Come on, Chad, giddy up.
[crowd cheering]
[Byrd]
Alright, Chad, we're going Longhorn.
Alright, boys! We're going Longhorn.
We're going Longhorn on one. On one.
-Ready!
-[players clapping]
[Sean] Sometimes the backup quarterback
is the spark a team needs.
-[cheerleaders cheering]
-[dramatic music playing]
[whistle blowing]
Wide 80. Wide 80, set.
♪♪
[Greg] Looking to pass.
And he's gonna take off.
Holy shit!
Unhitch that trailer, here we go!
Come on, Powers. Go, Powers!
Go, go, go!
[dramatic music continues]
[Russ panting]
[crowd cheering]
[announcer] Touchdown, Catfish!
[crowd cheering]
And that's Chad Powers for the--
What the fuck are you doing?
[crowd cheering]
Oh, momma! Oh!
[Sean] The Catfish still down by three,
and the clock is winding down.
[Greg] They gotta find a way
to get the ball back.
[Sean] Ole Miss hands it off to Mitchell.
He gets stopped! And the ball is--
Loose! That's our ball!
That's our ball! That's our ball!
-[whistles blowing]
-[Sean] The ball is free.
I'm not sure who has it.
Catfish ball. Catfish ball.
[crowd cheering]
[Sean] South Georgia
comes away with the ball.
-Fuck yes!
-[Sean] My goodness!
Let's go!
[sighs] Alright.
[Sean] Chad Powers has the Catfish
at the Ole Miss 40,
but it's third and long
and the clock is under a minute.
[Greg] You know Jake Hudson really wishes
he had that wasted timeout back.
[Byrd] Alright, Chad.
Gun, Deuce Right, 50. Charlie Dagger.
Gun, Deuce Right, 50,
Charlie Dagger on one.
-On one, ready!
-[players clapping]
[Greg] Can Chad Powers pull off a miracle.
There it is.
[dramatic music playing]
[players chattering]
[Jake] [on headset]
What's happening, Chad?
[Greg] He's not snapping the ball.
I don't understand what he's doing.
The clock is running!
[Jake] Run the play we called, Chad.
What's happening? Is he having an episode?
-I don't know, Coach.
-Coach, we got 20 seconds, no timeouts.
Alright, easy, easy, easy!
We're going Aggie Special, Aggie Special!
Did he just call his own audible?
What's he doing?!
♪♪
-Is that Aggie?
-It's Ricky's play.
[uplifting music playing]
[Jake] If you ever fucking do this again,
I will kill you.
But right now, win this bitch.
Set!
[Sean] Powers in the gun,
it all comes down to this.
Wide 80, set!
Ah!
[Sean] Lets it fly toward the end zone
[crowd cheering]
-Touchdown!
-Fuck yeah!
Yeah! Let's go!
-Yes! Yes!
-[TV thudding]
-[crowd cheering]
-Yes! Yes!
Oh, my God! Yes!
-Go Fish! Go Fish!
[uplifting music playing]
Who the fuck is that guy!
[uplifting music continues]
[cheering continues]
-[crowd cheering faintly]
-[marching band playing faintly]
Why aren't you celebrating?
I am.
Go Fish.
Go Fish.
["Fishin' in the Dark"
by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band playing]
You and me going fishin' in the dark ♪
Lyin' on our backs
and counting the stars ♪
Where the cool grass grows ♪
Down by the river
in the full moonlight ♪
We'll be fallin' in love
in the middle of the night ♪
Just movin' slow ♪
Stayin' the whole night through ♪
Feels so good to be with you ♪
Spring is almost over
and the summer's come ♪
And the days are gettin' long ♪
I've waited all winter
for the time to be right ♪
Just to take you along ♪
Baby, get ready ♪