Crookhaven (2026) s01e03 Episode Script

Why is Avery even here? There are
things you cannot know about.
The Nameless are pure evil.
What has Caspian started?
The Leopard.
I would keep this hidden
if I were you.
ISHAAN: All Dhawans go to
Crookhaven. It's our destiny.
The Nameless's calling card.
Calling card?
A penny burnt on one side.
That's why you're here!
You're with the Nameless!
I'm taking you down.
THUNDER CRACKS
TANNOY: 15 minutes till curfew.
Please head towards your bed
or a safe hiding place.
MANDARIN LESSON PLAYS
Jin shen - caution.
Jin shen - caution.
Wei xian - danger.
Wei xian - danger.
Jin ji - emergency.
Jin ji - emergency.
You have completed module one.
Hyah!
Have I taught you nothing?
I I followed the drill.
I I blocked your attack.
I made it to the safe room.
By the skin of your teeth.
What happens if I'm not
here to protect you? Huh?
VOICEOVER: Starting to fear Mum's
never coming back.
But fear's a weakness,
and I'm a Lockett.
We don't show weakness.
We expose it.
So, the Nameless are like this
secret deadly network?
What do they want, though?
Power. Money.
To watch all the world burn.
Why all these questions?
Well, why doesn't anyone stop them?
Cos they're invisible.
The Crooked Network are the only
ones that can touch 'em.
That's why they want to destroy us.
Burnt coins -
you said they leave them at
the scenes of their crimes, right?
I get what this is.
You don't believe Ishaan
was kidnapped.
You think he's one of them.
What, you think I'm one of them?
It's not you.
Or Ishaan.
It's me.
SHE GASPS
You changed my lock again.
Routine precaution.
You're a high-profile target.
Well aware. Mum never lets me
forget. Speaking of
You know better than to ask.
Sorry, I know, mission protocol.
Was there something else, Penelope?
Because I'm very late for
I have serious suspicion
about someone in my class.
HE CHUCKLES
This is a school for crooks.
They're all suspicious.
Focus on staying Most Wanted.
Don't get distracted.
I swear to you, I'd never even
heard of the Nameless until I
You're one of four Merits and
you just so happen to have the
Yeah, I know, all right?
I've been up all night
trying to figure it out,
because there is no way
it's just a coincidence.
INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER
Then how did you get it?
That's the thing.
I don't know.
It was always justthere
..on the shelf with all Grandma's
other knick-knacks.
You need to hide that coin. Bury it.
Because if anyone finds out you
have it, Gabriel
Too late.
Penelope knows.
Oh.
IN BAD NORTHERN ACCENT:
Mr Khan sends his apologies,
but he's been unavoidably detained.
Thus it falls to me, Mr Harris,
to introduce you
to the art of deception.
Who does Khan think he's fooling?
THEY SNICKER
What is deception?
To deceive is to be human.
Everybody lies.
No-one's who
they're pretending to be.
Fact is, all of yous
is wearing a mask right now.
So let's play a little game.
We're going to do a little exercise
that I like to call Full Disclosure.
I'm going to pair you up,
and you've got 48 hours
to study your partner,
find out what they're hiding,
and then you go head to head
in here - my interrogation tank.
Best unearthed secret
wins ten Crooked points.
So, let me get this straight -
you want us to just, like,
dig for dirt on each other?
Cos literally no.
If your revelation
turns out to be a lie,
then the other gets ten points.
Think of it as a high-stakes
game of True Or False.
Mm, still no.
And what's with the woeful disguise?
Glad you asked, Jia.
It's to prove a point.
IN NORMAL VOICE: It's easy to see
past a fake beard or accent,
but truly unmasking someone,
that takes real skill.
Let's deal, shall we?
Let me help, Nicki.
Gabriel's so aggressive.
Here.
You've got Ede.
Thanks, Penelope.
How am I supposed
to interrogate her?
Bro, I can barely speak to her.
Don't sweat it, bro.
I'll be your spirit guide.
You know, chat's my superpower.
40 hours from now you'll be gone,
and my life will be
immeasurably better.
You've got nothing besides a
Burnt coin.
Collusion with Amira.
I told you last night, I've no idea
about the coin. Yeah, I know.
You have no idea. You just found
the coin on Grandma's shelf
with the knick-knacks.
Do better, Avery.
You bugged me!
You're an amateur.
Assuming Grandma's a code name.
Grandma's my grandma.
Seriously, what is your problem?
My problem is that you make
everything so
..messy!
I've got nothing to hide.
But you're going to lose a lot more
than points, Avery.
You're going to be kicked out,
if not locked up.
I can't talk long, Grandma.
I've only got a minute.
Did you get sorted with
that awful Penelope girl?
Um, yeah, working on it.
Grandma, do you know my lucky coin?
The one you lost? Yeah, course.
Did you ever find it?
Um, yeah,
it was just in my other jeans.
Listen, do you know
where you got it?
Why do you need to know that
all of a sudden?
PHONE BEEPS
You have violated Crookhaven policy.
Your call has been terminated.
Why did you cut off my call?!
Loose lips sink ships.
What does that even mean?
Shouldn't you be in class,
my friend?
You knew about the coin.
You an' all. But you said nothing.
No reason to alarm.
Yeah, why am I here?
And don't mug me off
with some made up answer.
Look, the coin is how we found you.
One of our agents saw it
when you picked their pocket.
Well, we soon established
you had no idea what it was.
But, happily, we discovered
your remarkable talent.
That's why you're here.
Sometimes these coins,
theythey get into circulation.
No more to it than that.
Just as imitation is the sincerest
form of flattery,
so the forger must love and admire
the person they are emulating.
DOOR OPENS
Ah, Mr Avery.
Um, sorry, sir, I was
Your excuse serves no purpose.
Now, sit yourself down beside Amira.
Today in Forgery, we are
learning to fake handwriting.
A basic but vital skill
for a young crook.
Good luck in the interrogation tank,
cos I've been practising Deception
since before I could walk.
You're a hyperactive computer geek.
You won't unmask me,
and you don't have a mask.
You say that, but what if my whole
vibe's actually a cunning persona?
What if I was trained by MI6?
THEY SNICKER
Oh, dear.
No, no, no, Nicki.
You have missed her curly
Qs completely.
This is clumsy work.
Sorry, Mr Palombo.
Got to ask, why have you got
such beef with us Merits?
My father raised me to live on the
Crooked values. It's in our bones.
So to think you can just pluck
someone off the street
and call them a crook
..it's a travesty.
Ohhh, I get it!
Hmm.
Daddy issues.
CHUCKLING
Bravo, Penelope!
Indistinguishable
from Nicki's own hand.
Amira and Dodger seem
to be getting cosy.
She finally got the message -
we don't want her.
If there was nothing to hide,
then why did they cut off my call?
What were they scared she'd say?
Maybe they were worried
about what you'd say.
You can't talk crook with a
civilian. That's rule number one.
What's she writing about me?
How do you know it's about you?
Cos she's obsessed.
This is not bad.
Maybe she needs a taste
of her own medicine.
You're right.
I need to find something
I can use against her.
Something she's hiding.
Guard up, baby. Guard up.
Keep moving. Never turn your back.
Don't forget an attack
can come from anywhere.
He puts a foot out of line,
I'll raise the alarm.
But I want those points.
So, for now, I'll watch him
like a hawk, build my case.
That's my girl.
Then I'll offer him up to Dad.
I'll make him proud.
Make you both proud.
Mum?
Who were you talking to?
How'd you find me here?
Did you follow me?
Obviously.
I'm not an amateur.
OK, why are you standing so close?
We're meant to be
shadowing each other.
I got an idea, how about we don't?
Not do Full Disclosure?
Oh, you're the kind of person
who does homework.
Here's the deal.
I can't lie, can't tell when others
are lying, so I'm out.
I like your honesty.
Makes a change round here.
TANNOY: Reminder, all meals today
are vegetarian.
Would whoever held up the butcher's
van identify themselves?
Bro, you're overthinking it.
Just go right up to her,
hit her with an interesting fact,
break the ice.
Before you know it, you'll be taking
her down to chat town.
Look, she's alone.
Seize the moment.
Did you know
..a-a fun fact about
the Fibonacci sequence is
it was first described
in ancient Indian mathematics
as early as 200 BC.
Oh!
If the coin was hers,
why'd you never ask her about it?
Cos it's just a coin.
Does it never get old?
Being Lockett's daughter? Having
to be so perfect all the time?
I don't have to be. I just am.
Thanks to my genes
and intense application.
Why do you only talk about Grandma,
hmm? What about your parents?
She is my parents.
I mean, she's basically just my mum.
What's the deal with your mum?
Cos we know where
your dad is, but
She's away. Working.
Why'd you call your
mum Grandma, hmm?
It's no big deal.
She was older when she got me,
didn't want people
sticking their noses in.
So, you call your mum Grandma?
Come on, Avery, try harder.
Might as well hand me
those ten points now.
Who are your real parents?
She is my real parent.
Biological!
Don't know, don't care.
Liar!
Look at your face.
They didn't want to know me.
Why would I want to know them?
They're your parents. They made you.
Grandma made me!
Let's talk about the real liar. Hmm?
Your dad. Why didn't he want
to tell me what the coin was
when he nicked it from me?
Nicked it?
Mm-hm. That's how he got me here
in the first place.
Disguised as some posh gent.
I mean, not much of a disguise,
to be fair.
Trying to make out like the coin
was no big deal.
You just gave yourself away.
My father would never
recruit himself.
Ask him.
Ask him what he stole from me.
Nothing in his story makes sense.
Nothing in your story makes sense,
so either your so-called
Grandma's a liar or you are.
She'd never lie to me.
In fact, we could call her
right now,
but your dad would just cut us off.
Then it's you.
TANNOY: Would all Crooklings meet
at Mr Khan's interrogation tank
for a Full Disclosure demonstration.
Lickety-split.
The thing about you
..Edgar
..it's all a front.
Behind the ruthless mask
is just a scared kid
that just wants Dad's approval.
Cos you know you'll never
replace his favourite son.
That's what drives
your hatred of Merits.
That's what drives your everything.
You got me.
Michael was a hero.
VOICE SHAKES: He was my hero.
Everyone's hero.
But then he was brutally murdered
by a Merit.
MURMURING
EDGAR SNIFFS
MR KHAN: Huh. He sounds terrific.
Shame he never existed.
My lie detector gauges
the three Ps -
pulse, palms and pupils -
and has a 98% accuracy.
You should have all been able
to spot the key tells of a liar.
The grooming, running a hand
through the hair
..touching his lips,
and the repetition.
Michael was a hero. He was my hero.
Everyone's a hero.
He used the word hero three times.
I can't believe you fell for that.
Genius, Edgar!
Almost fell for it myself!
I don't know why you're crowing.
I'll give you five points
for the deception,
but we're all still waiting
for you to unmask Ade.
There's nothing to unmask.
The closest he's got
to a dark secret
is he once let his twin brother
take the blame
for smashing their mum's
favourite mug.
The Platty Joobs one? That was you?
Feeble effort, Edgar. Dig deeper.
Let's take a break
from Full Disclosure,
and, by way of inspiration,
remind ourselves
of the Crooked Network's
true masters of deception.
Harold Vezmar, a genius who spent
two years undercover
with an Argentinian crime syndicate,
putting them out of action for good.
No
Sorry.
Cedric Goh, who's posed as
everything from a triad gangster
to the Chinese ambassador
to Finland.
Carmen, that's your mum.
Why did Khan skip the slide?
What happened?
Nothing happened.
She's on a mission.
And you're literally the last person
on Earth I'd discuss her with.
Penelope, I was thinking about
Whatever it is, the answer's no!
Got paired with Avery
for Full Disclosure.
Hope you're not asking me
to help with your Deception prep.
I'd never give you
an unfair advantage.
Obviously.
Just wanted to know what you stole
from him when you recruited him.
Who says I recruited him?
He does.
Says you disguised yourself
and nicked something.
Didn't say what.
Who are you more inclined
to believe?
A pickpocket trying to deceive you
or your own father?
Really drew the short straw
with the idiot twins, didn't we?
I'm going to flunk Full Disclosure.
It's hard to find a moment
when they're not stuck together.
SHE SIGHS
They're inseparable.
I wonder
I know that look.
You've got a plan.
Mm.
In 36 hours she's going to tell
everyone that I'm a Nameless spy.
There's nothing
I can do to stop her.
She's a machine. Mm.
A robot.
She doesn't blink.
She doesn't have normal
human feelings.
I can never tell
what she's thinking.
Or writing.
Writing
That's how I'm going to
That's how I'm going to find out
what she's hiding.
What?
Behind the mask.
I need to steal her journal.
She has the same routine every day.
Lunch, training,
forgery practice.
Leaves the journal in her study.
Sorry, dude,
but that lock's unpickable.
So, you got three choices.
One, forget this whole stupid idea.
Two, blow the door off its hinges.
Or three?
Steal her key.
Jia, how hard is it to clone a key?
A five-year-old could
do it blindfolded.
I need you to pick a fight.
With who?
So, I've been thinking, and I reckon
we should call a truce.
I get there are no skeletons
in your closet,
so I'm going to stop digging. Pax?
I don't know what that means,
but I'm down to call a truce.
I've got to say, though, you really
did get me with the whole, like
..dead bro thing.
Hey, if it's any consolation,
I almost believed your story
about working for MI6.
Yeah?
Thanks, man.
I felt so bad for you.
It's nothing.
It's just a limited edition
commemorative bone china mug.
I have a younger brother too.
Wait. You are the oldest, right?
I mean, only by 13 minutes.
I thought so.
You have big brother energy.
So, what's the deal with you
and your brother?
..to have some sort of favourite.
Quit trying to interrogate me!
What is your problem?!
My problem is that you're
a real Merit weirdo
with no respect for
the Crooked curriculum.
At least I'm not a Legacy super geek
who walks around
with a face like her dog
got run over.
Hey, hey, hey! I'm a super geek?
Is that right? What's the problem?
It's so sad how they just degrade
themselves like that, isn't it?
Stay out of it, pickpocket.
Oh, look what we've done, Jia.
Don't.
Let me help you. Here.
It's right back here,
I'm trying to get it.
Listen, I don't need your help,
all right?
I can do it myself. I don't need
help from someone like you.
Oh, so you don't want
What do you mean someone like me?
You know exactly what I mean.
No, I don't know what that means.
Give it back to me, please.
I am giving it. Here.
Here. Can you both just back off?
Hey, guys, why don't we just
all give Penelope some space?
Great idea.
Sorry.
Sorry I called you a weirdo.
I am a weirdo.
I know you'll tell me
to mind my own business,
but where did you learn
to do all of this?
Third generation locksmith.
Dad owns a shop in Toronto.
Awful businessman, average father
..solid locksmith.
Are you sure about this?
Reading her diary, I mean? Doesn't
it all seem just a little bit
Skeevy? Intrusive? Wrong?
Yeah, but she's already been
through my stuff.
Which makes it right?
No, of course it's not right.
But I'm just doing what
I have to do.
She's left me no choice.
To be clear, this is not
an endorsement
of what you're about to do.
LOCK CLICKS, BEEPS
Sorry, Penelope.
I didn't know you were in here.
You can come in.
I won't bite.
I was just going to practise
my forgery.
I made such a rubbish job
of it in class,
especially compared to you.
But then, I can hardly
compare myself
Don't grovel, Nicki. It's demeaning.
Here, grab some paper.
I'll show you.
The trick is to get the spacing
between the words right.
The easiest way to do that is to put
your paper on top of the original.
Put paper
I'm sorry for before.
Shouting.
That's all right.
I get it.
The pressure.
My parents are both master crooks,
but you, how are you meant to live
up to Caspian and Carmen Lockett?
By being the best crook
that ever lived.
You will be.
I'm sure of it.
You'll make them proud.
Your father and your mother.
I'm sorry.
Well creepy.
BEEPS
LOCK CLICKS
SHE SNIFFS
SHE CRIES QUIETLY
Stop crying.
LOCK CLICKS
I'm going to my office.
Reports to write.
Just came to say goodnight,
check all is well.
Why wouldn't it be?
You're clearly in the middle
of something.
I'm really not equipped
to deal with this
..emotional turbulence.
Your mother's better
at this sort of thing.
Except she's not here, is she?!
I have no idea where she is
because every time I ask,
you change the subject!
I don't even know
if she's alive or dead!
I shall leave you
to pull yourself together.
You have five seconds
to explain yourself.
So that's your mission,
to assassinate the head's daughter?
You were trying to kill me.
You broke into my study
and hid in my safe room.
I've literally
caught you red-handed.
You're finished. I'm raising
the alarm right now.
Wait!
Before you threaten me, you might
want to think what I've got on you.
Like what?
Your mum's been
gone for four months.
You've no idea where she is.
You're scared she's never
coming back.
You're scared you'll never
live up to your parents.
You read my journal?
How dare you.
You're starting to wonder whether
your dad's been hiding the truth.
You monster.
Yeah, but this isn't me.
You drove me to this!
This changes nothing.
It's my word against yours,
and I'm an infinitely better liar
than you'll ever be.
You know what?
I'm not going to raise the alarm.
I'm going to wait 12 hours
and expose you in front of everyone.
It's over.
I won.
I'm toast.
I mean, you might as well write
"Nameless spy" across my forehead.
But you're not.
You're no more with the Nameless
than Ishaan is.
I trust you like I trust my brother.
Yeah, thanks, but who's going
to take our word over a Lockett's?
I mean, I need to see my grandma.
Face to face so they can't cut me
off again.
She's the only one who'll tell me
the truth about this stupid coin.
She'll prove I'm innocent.
How are we going to do
that by first period tomorrow?
The last train leaves
Moorheart at
..11:09.
How would you know that?
I just need to sneak past
the gardeners,
cross the lake,
and get through the forest.
You've officially lost your mind.
Yeah, I mean, I should have
just about enough time to get there
and back with
..13 minutes to spare.
I thought stealing Penelope's
journal was bad,
but this is a whole new level.
Yeah, but I mean,
what have I got to lose?
Seriously? I mean it's either this
or I let Penelope hang me
out to dry.
You all right, mate?
Hey, no, I need that boat!
You're not one of us!
Who are you?
All units, we have a red.
Repeat, we have a red.
You stay there.
Intruder on the south shore, over.
Who was he?
Not your concern.
It wasn't Ishaan.
I've seen his picture.
But he had his jacket.
Was he one of them?
One of the Nameless?
I strongly suggest you don't tell
a soul about the encounter.
I guess that depends.
I'll keep it quiet,
but I want to see my grandma,
to talk to her.
Very well.
The sole advantage
of the surveillance era -
we have eyes everywhere.
PHONE RINGS ON CCTV
You go off message
and we'll cut you off.
Cut me off and I'll tell her
everything when I go home.
Hello?
It's me, Grandma.
Oh, hiya, love. I-I can't talk now.
I'm at
Work, yeah, I know. I mean
..I figured.
Listen, I'll be quick.
You never answered
my question about the coin.
You know what, love,
I honestly can't remember.
Look, I-I should get back.
No, wait, Grandma. One more thing.
What do you know about
my birth parents? Who they were?
I've no idea.
Sorry. Th-They never told me.
You're my Gabriel.
That's all I know.
Look, I'd better get back. Bye.
Hope that lays the matter to rest.
PENELOPE SPEAKS MANDARIN
LOCK CLICKS
This came from your mother.
Some of our finest crooks
risked their lives to get it to you.
I hope it lays your fears to rest.
CARMEN: I'm sorry for disappearing
for so long, baby.
Someday I'll explain.
I hope you'll understand.
CASPIAN: But I promise you this
..I'll be home before you know it.
Your proud and loving
..Mum.
TANNOY: Could all Crooklings report
to Mr Khan?
Time for Full Disclosure.
You're still here?
So I am.
But I heard you got caught
last night down by the water.
Must be thinking of someone else.
MR KHAN: Since this is our
final class of the week,
that means this is your last chance
to unmask your opponents and
claim your ten Crooked points.
You claim you can't lie,
yet I find you a total mystery.
So maybe this is
an elaborate double bluff.
Either way, I've learned you're
one of two people in this place
that I genuinely trust.
And I've learned
..deception is definitely
gross and pointless.
DETECTOR CHIMES
Well, thank you
for your honesty, Jia.
The strange thing is, Nicki, well
EDE CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY
..you seem like an open book,
but you rarely give anything away.
I'm a crook.
That's how I was raised.
DETECTOR CHIMES
But you talk about home, but you've
never mentioned where home is.
And that accent
..I don't know,
I just can't really place it.
Me and my boy Edgar here
made a truce. Right, Ed?
Pax. Pax.
That's Latin for peace.
ADE CHUCKLES
Had to accept it was futile.
That you had no hidden depths
to excavate.
It's untrue to say
I give nothing away.
We both spoke about our brothers.
But you've never named yours.
How we both find them annoying.
I didn't say annoying.
DETECTOR BUZZES SOFTLY
My read is someone
whose brain's fizzing with ideas,
but who's stuck with a brother
who's holding him back.
W-Wait a sec, I-I never said that.
DETECTOR BUZZES SOFTLY
Sorry, you're right, Ede.
The words you used were
"reckless and chaotic".
DETECTOR CHIMES
I wrote them down.
HE WHISTLES
RECORDER BEEPS
Yeah, if I'm honest,
I wish Ede didn't have to be
so cautious all the time.
"Sometimes he's more of a hindrance
than a help."
It's like having one arm
tied behind my back.
Where were you last night?
Tried to run away.
Why?
To see my grandma.
DETECTOR CHIMES
What for?
My, um, lucky coin.
I wanted to know how she got it.
Because?
To prove a point.
But you got caught by the shore,
so you never got to speak to her.
I did, actually.
On your dad's phone.
So you got an answer?
She couldn't remember.
And you believe her?
Why wouldn't I?
DETECTOR BUZZES SOFTLY
You just ran a hand through
your hair, touched your lips -
both key tells of a liar,
right, Mr Khan?
Well done, Penelope.
I wasn't lying. I
I honestly can't remember.
I've no idea.
You think she lied to you.
No.
DETECTOR BUZZES SOFTLY
You know she did.
Last night by the shore,
was there someone else?
No.
DETECTOR BUZZES SOFTLY
Why are you at Crookhaven?
Cos your dad picked my pocket.
That's a lie!
I can verify that with confidence
because I was there.
What did he steal?
My lucky coin.
DETECTOR CHIMES
And he stole it from me again
when I first arrived here.
But he warned me to keep it
to myself.
You know I'm telling the truth.
No, I don't.
DETECTOR BUZZES SOFTLY
You know who the real liar is.
Seems like Penelope has failed
to unmask you, Gabriel.
Well, this is your chance
to win ten points.
She collects creepy dolls
from around the world.
DETECTOR CHIMES
Is that it?
Hmm
Hmm.
Well, I'm going to award
five points equally
to Edgar and Nicki.
Congratulations, both of you,
you're our new Most Wanted.
Sorry, Penelope. No hard feelings.
You had me in your sights.
You could have humiliated me.
You could have won the points.
But some things are more important
than the points. Like what?
Like everyone here is lying.
I mean, I thought
I was here because I was good.
You know, cos I deserve to be
a part ofall of this.
But now I am questioning everything.
I mean, your dad. I mean, my coin.
My grandmother!
What did you actually ask her,
your gran?
Where she got the coin.
What she knows about my parents.
Why did you ask about your parents?
Cos you got in my head about it.
Yeah, well, she didn't give you
an answer
and you know she was lying.
So's your dad.
Do you see that now?
Look, I know where we can
get your file.
Why would you help me?
I'm not helping you.
My father, he picked you
for a reason.
A reason he's trying to hide.
And my hunch says that this
all connects.
So we need to find out who you are
and why you're really here.
CASPIAN: I assure you, Minister,
we'll get to the bottom of this.
No-one is to be allowed on or off
the island until we have.
DISTORTED VOICE: There's
a storm coming.
A storm you can't escape.