D-Frag! (2014) s01e03 Episode Script

[CHITOSE] This is Fujou
Academy's Game Creation Club.
They nearly got shut down
last year, but the club's
current president, Takao,
rebuilt the club from scratch.
It was revived as the
New Game Creation Club.
Despite having zero
experience whatsoever,
they did an outstanding
job in tournaments
due to their exemplary knack
for working together as a team.
Rumors of their greatness have
spread to schools everywhere.
In other words
we can't win in a fair fight!
Our victory rests
on one thing alone.
Sabotaging production.
The further we're willing to go,
the better our
chances of winning!
No way, we can't do that!
Oh! I've got a
great idea, you guys:
what if we get their
computer soaking wet?
[KAZAMA] Did you not
hear what I just said?
Or even better, we could pack
it to the brim with dirt.
Come on, guys, we're better
than that, aren't we?
Kazama's right. I'm afraid
I can't allow you to do that.
Your methods are
extremely time-consuming
and you'd run the risk of
getting caught in the act.
I have a better solution:
how 'bout we taze 'em?
Hey, I thought you were on
my side! No one's getting tazed!
There's only one way to
guarantee our victory--
by resorting to my firepower!
Ugh It'd be a lot better
if you didn't try to help.
Look, you're the Game
Creation club, aren't you?
Can't you just try to win
with your game-making skills?
I mean, come on.
Let's play fair.
I'm only confident
in my stamina!
But I don't know how
to make stupid games.
The only skill I have is
throwing my weight around.
It's true: those who
can't do, teach.
So, in other words,
you're telling me
you actually suck
at making games.
Yep. We're screwed.
What about you?
[ROKA]
Hmph.
Hey! Look I'm sorry, okay,
but there's no reason to pout.
I'm good at playing
"Super Marilyn."
I can beat the whole
game in under an hour.
If all you can do is play,
then I'm officially revoking
my apology right now!
[ROKA] "Super Marilyn"
happens to be
my favorite game of all time.
It first went on the market to
critical acclaim in the 1980's.
It was the first game ever to
feature a female protagonist.
Marilyn's seductive attack
moves redefined the industry.
Not only was the game fun,
it possessed a flair
of naughtiness that drew in
the eighteen-plus crowd.
To this day, sequels
are still being made!
[KAZAMA]
No one cares!
I'm startin' to think
maybe it would be better
to get it over with
and let them absorb us.
[KAZAMA sighs]
Either way, for now we
can all agree that we need
information on what
they're planning to do.
Without it, there's no
chance of victory.
You people just
don't get it, do you?
Oh, no, we "get it," all right.
We need you to spy for us.
[KAZAMA]
This is ridiculous!
Look! I'm sick of always doing
the dirty work around here!
Can't you see I'm giving
you the puppy dog eyes?
Doesn't that make you
wanna stop being a jerk
and help our team
win this thing?
Hell, no!
Oh, fine! Then whoever loses has
to spy on behalf of the group.
[KAZAMA] Ha! You girls
are dead meat!
[KAZAMA] I never expected
a friggin' chandelier
to come crashing down on me.
Hey. I don't understand,
how come you're tagging along?
You beat me, remember?
What, do you have a problem
with me "tagging along"?
No. It's just after everything
you said back there
Never mind, forget it.
[KAZAMA] That's one way
to get the point across.
[ROKA grumbles]
Roka, you see
anything in there?
Nope, I can't spy a thing.
Hey. On second thought,
why don't you go back?
Breaking and entering
is harder with two people.
I'm not leaving.
Well, why the hell not?
Look at what the
cat dragged in.
Hi. What a pleasant surprise.
Oh, cut the crap, ne'er-do-well!
You have a lot of nerve
showing your face around here
after everything you've said!
[KAZAMA] She does
raise a good point.
[TAKAO]
Whatever.
You wanna come in?
I'll show ya what we've got.
You sure?
You guys really suck.
It's not like showing you
is going to hurt our
chances of winning.
Oh. Thanks.
He's invited,
but you're not.
[ROKA groans]
[KAZAMA] Are you sure you want
me snooping around in here?
Oh, hey there, Yamada.
It's good to see you.
Sorry 'bout what
I did back there.
Ya know, punching you
and all that.
Please. Don't apologize,
I brought it on myself.
[KAZAMA] Whatever you say, man.
Respect all the same.
[YAMADA]
Thanks.
Whoa! Kenji Kazama?
What are you doing here?
[KAZAMA]
Hm?
Well. I suppose I owe you
a big "thank you," don't I?
[KAZAMA]
For what?
Hello, Kazama.
Huh? Oh, hi. Wait a sec,
weren't you a?
[INADA]
Crap!
[SAKURAGAOKA]
Uh Aw, man.
If he finds out I tricked him,
he's gonna punch me in the face!
I gotta get outta here!
Uh See ya later!
On behalf of the entire club,
I'm truly thrilled you're here.
How 'bout a nice, hot cup
of coffee or something?
Sorry, we don't
have any coffee.
[INADA] Don't be silly,
we always have coffee!
[TAKAO] Come on. Do you
wanna see this or not?
Right.
Wow. So this is how you
make games? How does it work?
It's simple. You see this?
If you drag it over here
[INADA] And now he will
fall into our clutches.
Just wait and see.
Pretty soon, those
"tig o' bitties"
will be smackin' him on
the back of his head,
reducing Kazama to nothing but
a pile of flustered man-putty.
When it comes to those gazongas,
she wins every time.
He's done for.
Yeah, well. They are
impressive. But still--
Still what? Don't
be shy, spit it out!
Why don't you
see for yourself?
Whoa! This can't be. No!
His hair is too spiky--it's
repelling her neck knockers!
She can't get her body
bumps anywhere near
the back of his head!
You must be overjoyed.
This means you won't lose him.
Uh Wait.
[TAKAO cries out]
[KAZAMA]
Huh?
[TAKAO trembles]
[TAKAO screams]
[sound of slap]
Get out and stay out!
[KAZAMA groans]
Uh Look. I'm really
sorry about that,
I know you never
intended for it to happen.
No. Please. There's no need
to say anything at all.
In that case, why don't
you join my club already?
What?
Why waste our time with
this duel when the outcome
is painfully obvious
to anyone with a brain?
And besides, maybe if
you were to join,
"you know who" will stop being
so ridiculously stubborn.
You think so?
The only thing
I wanted to do
was try to get my
best friend to smile.
My club against yours
at the festival!
It's not an act! It's me!
I put it together with Chitose.
[KAZAMA]
Hm.
On second thought, maybe
you should duke it out.
[TAKAO]
Huh?
Why not? Nothin' wrong with
a little friendly competition.
Fine! You wish to be destroyed,
who am I to stand in your way?
Whoever gets the most
customers wins. Deal?
[KAZAMA] Deal.
Bring it on.
Crap. I may have sounded
like I'm all hardcore,
but what are we gonna do?
Hey, Roka, what's the
matter with you?
Let's head back. We got a
lotta work to do, right?
Are you okay?
Seriously, what's up?
[ROKA]
Nothing, I'm fine!
[CHITOSE]
Welcome back, you two!
[KAZAMA & ROKA groan]
Did ya have have any luck?
[KAZAMA] Well, it looks like
somebody's having a swell time!
Chitose wrote the scenario
for this game and I created it.
The "Scramble for Porn
Mags in Space" game.
That sounds terrible!
[CHITOSE] It's the Year X, in
the Golden Age of Space Travel.
Having made contact with aliens,
earthlings became exemplars
of interplanetary trade.
Alas, however hard they tried,
one item remained
perpetually out of reach.
Alien porn magazines
were off limits!
Some alien porn mags were
rated for ages 200 and up,
making them impossible
for humans to obtain.
[ALIEN VOICE]
But we wanna read them!
[CHITOSE] That's when the
Porn Magazine Delivery Service
took to the scene.
Braving danger,
they are specialists at slipping
through Space Customs.
This is a game.
A game about
becoming one such
erotic magazine hunter
and carrying your
contraband to the goal!
[KAZAMA]
Uhh
Between the sci-fi framework
and the key words "porn mag"
in the title, this
revolutionary game
will attract perverts
from all over the world!
You're forgetting one
important thing here.
We can't beat them
with a board game.
But this is my
pride and joy!
Look, the story is
inappropriate, okay?
[ROKA]
Hmm
If we wait, maybe I'll
have a better idea!
I'm sure it'll be brilliant.
[CHITOSE] So? Did you
destroy their club or what?
I thought I was just
supposed to spy!
Ugh. Come on. Get real,
you actually think
we have a chance of
winning without cheating?
[KAZAMA]
Why, you little--!
Well. If push comes to shove,
I could use my authority to--
Now that's enough!
[KAZAMA]
Hmm
[SAKURAGAOKA pants]
[SAKURAGAOKA]
Hold up. Where's Kazama?
He already took off;
you just missed him.
[SAKURAGAOKA groans]
[INADA]
Oh, Sakuragaoka!
[FATHER] Fujou Academy
Freedom Festival.
Also known as "FuF." Every year,
this festival is, uh
How should I put it?
It's a typical school festival
that doesn't stand
out in any way.
Yep. That about
sums it up.
If it's so boring, then how
come you dragged me here
when I could be at home
playing video games?
Because I graduated
from this school, son,
and it's extremely
important to me.
Whoa! What the hell?
This chi, it's so powerful.
Hey, Dad, FYI, this isn't
boring, it's awesome!
I'm glad you're
having fun, kiddo!
[FATHER] He's finally old
enough to recognize "chi."
They grow up so fast!
Huh?
Dad. You really
undersold this festival.
Well When I was a little kid,
it was never this exciting!
Well, everyone, the big
day is finally here.
To be honest, I thought
you guys would try to cheat
your way to victory. I'm more
than a little bit shocked
you decided to meet us
on a level playing field.
Actually, I tried my damnedest
to convince everyone we should
enact a sinister plot to
destroy all of your hard work.
But oh, well. The rest of
the club wouldn't have it.
What a pity.
President, hang in there!
[CHITOSE chuckles]
[KAZAMA] Why do I have
such a strong urge
to root for the other side?
[INADA] All right. Let's take
a second to go over this.
The rules of the
competition are simple:
whichever of the two clubs
gets the most customers
is the winner. If our club
wins--and no offense,
but it obviously will--
we will absorb your club.
Oh. It's not likely,
but what happens if you win?
[CHITOSE] Hmm.
If our club wins
Takao's tatas are sentenced
to torture by tweaking!
[TAKAO]
Huh?
A fondling of the funbags?
That's what you're after?
I know the sort of smut
you have your eyes fixed on.
Stop doing that.
It's weird!
Oh, fine, have it
your way. If you wanna
manhandle those mammaries,
by all means, be my guest.
[TAKAO] Did you
just agree to that?
Heh. It appears that
you are the alpha,
also aggresive in
the art of alliteration.
[TAKAO whimpers]
[ROKA]
Now, then
[INADA]
Let the games begin!
[ALL BUT KAZAMA & TAKAO]
Aaahhh
I wish you and your
boobs the best of luck.
Shut up, you pervert!
[KAZAMA]
Hey, what did I do?
That was, like, the coolest
game I've ever played.
Well, I see you're back
again this year.
Yep. Man, I can't
wait to see
what kinda crazy stuff they
come up with this time.
[GUY A] More than anything,
I'm excited about
the glorious feeling
of Takao's silky milkies
smacking me in the
back of the head.
Tell you this much: I hope you
have a crew cut under that hat.
Going into a session with her
and not shaving your head
is a real rookie move.
Whoa, you shave your
head just for this?
Luckily, I'm naturally bald.
[CROWD oohs and aahs]
Hello. Welcome back, guys.
[GUYS gasp]
'Scuse me. You're not
gonna put your boobs on--
uh, explain the game yourself?
Oh, no. Today my classmates
will do the explanation.
[TAKAO]
Huh?
Wow! You have quite
a crowd in here!
What, are you here
to make fun of me?
If you come inside
I'm gonna click this.
I just dropped
by to say hey.
So you're not here
to sabotage us?
I wouldn't do that.
Look. Regardless of what you
might think, I'm a decent guy.
[INADA] You've got some nerve
showing your face around here!
[KAZAMA] Whoa. Is that supposed
to be sexy? Cause, yuck.
You shut your mouth!
[SAKURAGAOKA]
Kazama.
[KAZAMA] Oh, it's you,
from the other day.
Hehe. Yeah, I'm really
sorry about that.
Hey, you look better than
her in that outfit. Wow.
Uh Well Thanks.
Since you brought it up,
this one forced
me to wear it.
I just told you it looked
good, why are you upset?
We're wearing these because
it'll help attract customers.
[YAMADA]
Hello, Kazama.
[KAZAMA] Now that's
going too far!
[TAKAO] So.
Read 'em and weep.
This is the result of my Game
Creation Club's hard work.
Everyone has thoroughly
enjoyed playing
the games we labored
so diligently to create.
[KAZAMA yawns]
[KAZAMA]
True enough.
So tell me, are you ready to
admit defeat? In the future,
we could work together and
make an even better club.
Yeah. It's a nice club,
there's no doubt about that.
But now it's your turn
to come check out
what we've got going on.
Fine, whatever! Even though
it's obvious we've beaten you,
I'll go along with
your little charade.
No way!
Wha What is that?
[KAZAMA]
Isn't it obvious?
It's our Game Creation
Club's Offering.
Inside, well, we stuffed in
as many analog games
as we possibly could.
It was quite a feat!
[TAKAO] But This is stupid.
These aren't even games!
[KAZAMA] Oh, come on,
sure they are.
We just didn't make
them with computers.
The team pulled
several "all-nighters"
to make the decorations.
As long as people have fun
doing it, then it's a game.
That's what she said, anyway.
Though I can understand
how that might anger you.
Yeah. Well Even if
she is right about that
There's a zero percent
chance you were able
to make that giant,
tacky thing without help.
[KAZAMA]
Mmm
Come on, out with it!
Look. To be completely
honest with you
We pulled strings.
You pulled what?
[KAZAMA] We rounded up
the student council
and some other guys
and made them help.
[TAKAO] You're despicable!
And That's cheating!
[CHITOSE]
Actually, it's not.
After all, there's nothing
wrong with taking advantage
of a Club Member's
Assets, right?
[TAKAO] Wearing that
outfit is cheating too!
[KAZAMA] Uh
I wouldn't go that far.
Look at her feet,
you'll think differently.
[TAKAO]
What the?
I I didn't lose because I'm
into sultry bunnies, I swear!
I fell victim to the law
of gravity, period!
So. According to
my calculations,
we beat you fair and square.
Of course people
would flock to this
ridiculous side show.
And I want a rematch!
Please. Your team demanded
the winner be decided
by who had more
customers, not us.
Even if I allow you to
compete with analog games,
these are other people's games,
and they're completely
lacking in originality!
Oh, give me a break, like the
mindless, idiotic games
you came up with are
overflowing with creativity!
At least we made
ours from scratch
instead of ripping
off other people!
We made ours
from scratch too,
and if I were you
I'd watch my mouth!
Yeah. But you--
But we what? Huh?
Spit it out, girlie!
It's just
It's not fair.
[TAKAO cries]
Please don't cry.
I'm sorry that you're upset.
It doesn't matter to
me who wins or loses
this dumb competition.
But here's the thing.
Roka says she doesn't want to
let go of the club she has now.
Look. I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to destroy your precious club.
The truth is, I acted out of
pure rage back then, and I
didn't even stop to consider
the consequences of my actions.
[KAZAMA] That girl can be a real
pain in the butt sometimes.
I hope you can forgive me
for the grief I caused you.
From your point of view,
I can understand
how our club might seem
completely ridiculous.
But Roka has finally found a
place where she feels at home.
And I'm begging you. Please
don't take that away from her.
Would you tell me
where Roka is?
I'd really like to talk to her.
Uh. Well, about that
[TAKAO]
Huh?
[TAKAO] Uh
What is this?
[KAZAMA]
Beats me.
[TAKAO]
You don't know?
[KAZAMA]
I have no idea.
[FATHER laughs]
Before you're sent to hell,
you should know this
You see, my dear boy, I am
your father. It is the truth.
No! I can't believe you're
my honest-to-goodness
biological father who I
haven't seen in fifteen years!
[FATHER laughs]
Do you have what it takes to
slay your absentee patriarch
To kill your own
flesh and blood?
You bet I do!
Geez, you didn't
hesitate at all!
[ROKA]
And cut!
Hey, that was a solid
performance you two just put on.
And bonus points for the whole
"I am your father" thing--
it was commendably awesome.
[FATHER & SON]
Thanks!
It's a game! Wow!
It's bursting with originality!
Oh, hey, you guys,
guess what?
Four different people have
already played this game today
and they all said that they
had the time of their lives!
I'm glad to hear it.
[KAZAMA]
Four whole people came?
Everyone who played put on some
truly astonishing performances!
Takao?
I like your game.
It looks like fun.
Thanks. I gave it my all.
Roka. Are you,
uh, having fun?
Yeah.
Well. That's great.
In that case This round
is over and you guys won.
[ALL]
Huh?
Well, what else can I say?
I admit that your Game
Creation Club is simply
too much for my group
to handle at the moment.
[ROKA]
Uh--!
Hold on.
I'm the president of this club.
So I can't very well join yours.
But if you'd let me,
I would very much like
to be your friend.
And with that said
How about you just quit your
club and join ours instead?
Who the heck do you
think you are?
[KAZAMA]
She killed the moment!
You'll never change, will you?
You're a lost cause.
[SAKURA] Thirsty?
I thought you might be!
Oh. Thank you.
Guess that's one problem
outta the way, huh?
You know,
despite what you say,
I bet you're actually
a nice person, aren't you?
Yeah, you're not a
delinquent at all.
Get off my back.
[students chatter]
[KAZAMA]
Hm?
[ROKA] Hey, Kazama.
Looks like the folk dancing
is about to start. Aren't you
gonna go check it out?
Seriously? What
makes you think
I'd be interested in
something like that?
[ROKA] So what's your
verdict on the FuF festival?
Well I don't know,
I guess it was pretty fun.
[ROKA]
Thank you.
[KAZAMA]
For what?
[ROKA] Come on,
you know for what.
[KAZAMA]
Hm?
[ROKA] I'm grateful that you
joined my club. It means a lot.
Listen, I don't mean
to be a jerk wad.
But it's really hard
to take you seriously
with that thing on your face.
You should take it off.
[ROKA]
You don't like it?
[KAZAMA]
No.
The bottom line is, we failed at
getting rid of that stupid club.
Eh. Roka's only trying
to do the best she can.
I can't really
fault her for that.
But we're still planning
to destroy them, right?
Nah. As long as they change
the name of their club,
I think we can
all get along.
[TAKAO]
What's going on?
[SAKURA giggles]
What're you doing here?
We're very sorry for all the
trouble we caused the other day.
Although to the victor goes
the spoils, as they say.
Or in this case, to the
winner goes the wobblies.
But you held me and
said such nice things
Yes, and I meant them.
And now I'm gonna tweak
those peaks like I mean it!
Rules are rules, after all.
Come on, this is
going too far!
Sorry, but we all
agreed on it,
and now it's my responsibility
to finish the job.
[CHITOSE cackles,
TAKAO whimpers]
[TAKAO screams]
[TAKAO]
I'm outta here!
[SAKURA]
Guys. She took off.
[ATARU] The Legend of the
Heroic Masochist, Ataru!
That's absurd! You want to
use the entire courtyard?
I can't let a single club take
up that much real estate!
Shut your mouth,
fill out the paperwork,
and no one gets hurt.
There is no way I'm gonna
budge on this issue!
I'm sick of you asking me
to do the impossible!
It's not me this time.
Technically, he's the one who
thought up this crazy plan.
[ATARU] What?
Is she telling the truth?
[KAZAMA] Uh
Actually, she is.
I see. So, you're taking
the Culture Festival
really seriously, eh?
Then I suppose it can't be
helped, can it, Kazama?
Being that I'm your best
"bro dog" in the whole world,
it would be uncouth
for me to let you down.
Wow, that's, uh
Thanks, man.
[CHITOSE] Well.
That turned out to be
a whole lot easier than
I thought it would be.
You know what, never mind,
I take back everything I said!
[KAZAMA]
Ataru
Not cool.