Extreme Ghostbusters (1997) s01e03 Episode Script

1
[vandal 1 snickers]
[vandal 1] Shalom, baby.
-[screaming]
-[growling]
Huh?
Kevin?
What the?
Hey, back off! You hear me?
[growling]
[gasps] Get away from me.
[whimpers] Get away from me, man!
[yelling]
[vandal 2 screaming]
[theme music playing]
If there's something strange
In your neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
If there's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
That's right ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
If you're seeing things
Running through your head ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
You know
Busting makes me feel good ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Whoo-oh! ♪
[coroner] The police brought them in
last night.
[beeping]
We've been unable to identify
this substance covering them.
Some sort of clay.
And it's brimming
with ectoplasmic residue.
Try some on your face, Kylie.
Might clear up that pasty complexion.
Look, the chief of staff would be furious
if he knew I called you people.
Oh, but whatever's afflicting these two
is beyond the scope of medical science.
-First, you got to get the clay off--
-No!
[yells]
-I should have warned you about that.
-Yeah. Tiny oversight.
How are you ever gonna pass
if you keep dozing off in class?
Comparative sociology?
How can you stay awake?
Over here! Over here! I'm wide open!
Swish. In your face.
Man. Beat you guys bad.
Yeah, well,
it's only because you had the big guy.
Hey, man, I got 50 bucks says
me and my grandma could wax you stiffs.
Yeah, well, that's easy to say
'cause your grandma ain't around.
Hang on, Roland.
See that guy in the wheelchair?
I'll take him and spot you five points.
All right, mouth. You're on.
My friend here happens to be very athle--
Very flattered.
[chuckles] I'll try not to cost you
too many points, pal.
[funky music playing]
Over here! Over here!
Come on. Come on.
[player 1] Go, go, go!
[players shouting indistinctly]
[player 2] Shoot it! Shoot it!
[player 1] Go, go, go!
[music stops]
Oh, man, nice doing business
with you, gentlemen.
Those boys never knew what hit them.
Guys, meet Garrett.
This is Trey and Charlie.
-Hey, what's going on?
-'Sup?
How you doing?
You two know each other?
Yeah. Spence is from
the old neighborhood,
Brooklyn Heights.
We used to do this for pizza money.
I can't believe
you're still working the courts.
Ah, you know me, G-man.
Anything for the juice.
The juice?
Hello? The adrenaline rush?
Man, is this guy with you or something?
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Guys, this is Roland,
one of my fellow Ghostbusters.
Yeah, well, I'm running late.
I'll see you at the firehouse, Garrett.
Oh, yeah. Later.
So, what you been up to, man?
[Spence] Ah, you know,
little this, little that.
Play a little basketball here and there.
[Roland] I've seen that look before.
You know, the one that says,
"We don't like your kind."
Maybe you're just being overly sensitive.
Garrett wouldn't hang out
with people like that.
Yeah, well, maybe.
I just get a bad feeling from them,
that's all.
So what? You get a bad feeling
when your socks don't match.
-[glam-metal music playing on TV]
-[singer screaming]
[gags]
Hey!
making for a plump, juicy bird
with all the trimmings.
[Eduardo] Give me!
Oh, yeah. This was worth it.
[Egon] Fascinating.
According to my analysis,
this clay sample
you brought back from the hospital
demonstrates pro to-organic properties.
It's alive?
It's growing.
Which begs the question:
Where did this pro to-organic clay
come from?
A pro to-organic hobby shop?
delighting your friends
and relatives with
Especially puzzling was
that the synagogue walls
were found covered with wet clay.
-[singer screaming]
-[Roland] Hold it.
[reporter on TV]
as police continue the search
for the vandals who defiled
this house of worship late last night.
From the Beth Shalom Synagogue
in Brooklyn, this is Nancy Morrison.
Here you go, Slimeball.
Me and my boys got some business
to attend to in Brooklyn.
-Your boys?
[rabbi] Please, we've been besieged
by reporters all day.
We just want to be left in peace.
Do I look like a reporter?
I'm a scientist, man.
We don't want to bother anyone, sir.
We just need a small sample of the clay.
We suspect there may be
some supernatural entity at play here.
[rabbi] Supernatural, you call it?
This is an act of hatred,
an act of cowardice.
They have desecrated
our house of worship.
Rabbi, please, come inside.
I'm starting to see what you mean
by that "We don't want your kind" look.
No, that was more of a
"I've got something to hide" look.
-How come I gotta hop the fence?
-Because
[imitating Eduardo]
you're a scientist, man.
Maybe we shouldn't
be trespassing like this.
[in normal voice] Get a grip, Roland.
We're after a clay sample,
not the Hope Diamond.
-"Because you're a scientist, man."
-[growling nearby]
Eduardo! Look out!
[ominous music playing]
[growling]
[ominous music playing]
[growling]
Oh, man.
[yelps]
No! [yells]
Aim carefully. Don't hit Eduardo.
[weapon powering up]
-[creature howls]
-That ought to slow it down.
For about a second.
Uh, I think we made it mad.
Is it me, or is he getting bigger?
[groaning]
Looks like Mr. Bill
won't be giving us no more trouble.
He melted. It must be a shape-shifter.
Uh, it's moving.
Recalibrate the blaster,
and that thing
turns into a mud milkshake.
I thought I asked you to leave.
[gasps]
You did this.
No. Well, I mean, some of it,
but there was this creature.
An ectoplasmic pro to-organic entity.
We were trying to stop it.
We did stop it.
Stopped that giant mud pie cold.
I want you gone from this place,
or I'm calling the police.
We were only trying to help.
We really are the good guys.
You have to understand,
things are really tense around here.
The rabbi's not only worried
for the safety of the synagogue
but what's inside.
Last week, some ancient scrolls
arrived from Prague,
and to have them damaged
would be unthinkable.
I'm beginning to think
you were right about the rabbi.
[grunts] Ninety-nine.
[panting]
One-oh-one.
One-oh-two.
Ah, the pungent smell of testosterone.
This is a private club.
Yeah, it's okay.
I told them to contact me
when there's some action.
So, what do we got?
Haunting, possession,
demonic desiccation?
We're not sure.
Something made out of clay.
Clay?
This wasn't like Play-Doh clay.
This was clay with attitude.
We're running a spectral analysis
to see what's making it come alive.
Tell you what.
You guys handle the lab-rat stuff.
Call me when the fireworks start.
-You're not coming?
-I can't.
I'm in the middle of a workout.
Fine. If you want the lab rats,
we'll be back in the maze.
What's the point of having a private club
when any of them
can just come waltzing in?
Hey, they may be a little uncool, but
[scoffs] Being uncool
is the least of their problems.
The day they let them in here
is the day you're dunking jump shots.
I'll show you a jump shot.
What say we show Garrett here
a real jump shot?
[sneaky music playing]
Too bad you're stuck in that wheelchair.
You're gonna miss out on a major rush.
Yeah. Poor me, stuck in a wheelchair.
We've been planning this for months.
[chuckling]
Is this guy out of his mind?
Always has been.
Yippee ki-yay!
Whoa! [laughs]
-[Spence] Yeah!
-Yeah! [whoops]
Spence, you have brought us
one truly righteous individual.
What do you say?
The guy's proved he's got the stuff.
Yeah, maybe.
But can he hang
when we really put it on the line?
[woman] A supernatural creature
made of clay.
-I know it sounds weird, but--
-You mean a golem.
According to an old European folktale,
during times of extreme strife,
a kind of clay robot called a golem
could be created
to defend the people in the village
from being persecuted.
But it would never be undertaken lightly
because the golem could become difficult
or impossible to control.
-I remember one story where--
-How many did they make?
Excuse me? It's a fable.
Well, what if it were true?
And what if a golem did exist,
here and now, in New York?
Then the only thing that could stop it
from attacking would be
To wipe out bigotry and hate.
[scoffs] Good luck doing that.
-Ah, enough of this sitting around.
-Whee!
Thought we were gonna
see some action.
[yelps, then grunts]
Hey, dude, you don't like it here?
Go back and hang
with your dumb jock homeboys.
Hey, at least those guys know
how to have fun.
Unlike some people I know.
I'm trying to do
some sensitive repairs here, Garrett.
Fine.
Give me a call when you wanna do
something that requires a pulse.
The clay samples from the synagogue
match those from the hospital.
The entity we're dealing with is clearly
some sort of ecto-based hybrid.
[Kylie] It's called a golem,
a clay statue brought to life by inserting
an ancient scroll into its mouth.
That student.
He said the rabbi just got
some ancient scrolls from overseas.
Come on.
He's not gonna say "I told you so," is he?
I hate it when he says "I told you so."
[Roland] I knew it.
Close enough.
[foreboding music playing]
[Garrett] Sorry I'm late, guys.
Firehouse detail.
Man, you need to cut yourself loose
from that crew.
Are you kidding?
They'd fall apart without me.
So, what's up for tonight?
Tonight we're wrapping up
some old business.
[foreboding music playing]
-What are we doing here?
-A little payback.
For what?
Hey, guys, wait a minute.
Couple of nights ago,
our buddies came around here.
They were sending these clowns
a message and got sent to the hospital.
Covered with clay. Can you believe that?
Clay?
[men chattering, laughing]
Come on, Garrett, let's party!
Party time's over.
I thought you said this guy could hang.
We're just having fun.
Fun? Come on, Spence. This isn't you.
-[yells]
-[laughs]
Your registration's expired, son.
We're confiscating this vehicle.
[Garrett] No! Stop!
[window shatters]
Cut it out, you jerks.
-[laughs]
-[whoops]
[Trey] What have we here?
[both whooping, laughing]
Whoa, check out the soft, gooey center
on this one.
[ominous music playing]
-[clay squelching]
-[yells]
[growling]
Charlie! Get away! Run!
[yells]
-[screams]
-Charlie!
Stop!
Chaim, call the police.
[golem growling]
Oh, yeah. This is a fair fight.
[growling]
[suspenseful music playing]
Stay away. Leave him alone.
Hold it right there, Sandman.
Here's mud in your eye.
What are you doing here?
It's a long story.
Are you all right, sir?
I'm fine.
Then don't just stand there.
Stop that thing.
How? I didn't even believe
such things existed.
Stop! I command you!
I created you. You must obey.
You did this, Chaim?
I was only trying to protect us,
the synagogue, the community.
Stop! You must obey me!
Looks like somebody
failed obedience school.
What's the deal?
The blasters don't work on this thing.
It's a pro to-organic hybrid.
Not purely ectoplasmic in nature.
If you spent more time with the lab rats,
you'd know that.
Guilt-trip me, why don't you?
[roars]
Maybe if we recalibrate the blasters,
we can nail him.
Too late.
He's doing that melting thing again.
This is either a really good thing
or a really bad thing.
We're not losing it this time.
[device whirring]
What was that thing?
I don't know, man. I don't know.
We got to get a couple more guys,
go back there.
Are you crazy?
[ominous music playing]
[growling]
[both yell]
[both pant]
[roars]
How big is this gonna get?
G-man, you gotta stop this thing!
-Do I?
- vote we let Gumby wail on them.
I appreciate the sentiment,
but we're the good guys, remember?
[Roland] The recalibration isn't working.
Everybody outside, now!
Now! Move it! Move it!
Go on. I'm right behind you.
Garrett!
I'm going back in.
Wait.
[coughing]
[Kylie] Are you all right?
Now, that was a rush.
[explosion]
Nothing could have survived that.
Nice going, G-man.
Don't call me G-man.
Only my friends can call me that.
Oh, man. This thing is, like, unbeatable.
Maybe not.
He's looking a tad crispy
around the edges, isn't he?
They gotta be nuts.
[golem roars]
Kylie, wait. We don't know if it's
He is now.
[groaning]
-Guess we were wrong about you guys.
-Yeah.
Guess you're good
for something after all.
I ought to
Nah.
Hey, guys,
we don't want any trouble here, okay?
-Tell that to the cops.
-[sirens wailing]
[somber music playing]
[Kylie] Safe and sound.
Yes, yes. Thank you.
I'm so sorry.
I never meant any harm.
At least
the precious scroll wasn't damaged.
Such secrets
clearly were not meant for us.
We cannot fight hate with hate
or violence with violence.
We must always remember that.
[theme music playing]