Family Affair (1966) s01e03 Episode Script

1
No, but we expect him.
We got his present.
What?
What?
I mean, you two haven't been out shopping
alone, have you?
It was delivered.
What was delivered?
It's something he doesn't have and anybody
would want.
And it only cost us 78 cents and 29 cents.
But it's worth a lot more.
You'll never get.
Oh, probably not.
Come and see it!
Come and see it!
Thank you.
It's good to be home.
Did we enjoy East Africa, sir?
Well, a little hectic at first.
Everybody was shouting orders in six different
languages, but how's everything with the kids?
Well, you know, sir, rather like East
Africa.
A little chaotic at first, but once we'd made
our position clear, we had no further difficulty.
They petitioned to stay up and greet you,
sir, but we ruled against it.
Very sensible.
Very sensible.
We suggested that they meet you in the
morning, sir.
Why?
All right, you can come out now.
Bye, Uncle Giles.
Bye.
Well, I missed you.
I missed you, too.
We weren't supposed to stay up,
but Mrs. Beasley couldn't sleep.
I know it's rather late, sir, but if you'd
care for a bath
Mrs. Beasley had insomnia.
Now that Mrs. Beasley's seen Uncle Bill,
she can go to sleep.
Uncle Bill!
Hi, Sissy.
Oh, wait a minute.
I got some things from Africa for you
guys.
Now, that's for you, Sissy.
It's beautiful.
And this is for Buffy.
Thanks, Uncle Bill.
What is it?
Well, it's a giraffe, honey.
Giraffe.
He can play with Mrs. Beasley.
And that's for you, Jody.
Thanks, Uncle Bill.
Whatever it is.
Well, it's an ant farm, see?
Real, live, genuine East African ants.
It's just what I wanted.
If I knew there was stuff like this.
Here, Uncle Bill.
Hey, what's this?
For once, it's a present for you.
Oh, wow.
It's a tie.
Oh, a tie.
I knitted it for you while you were in
East Africa.
Nobody ever knitted a tie for me before.
Thank you, Cissy.
It's the nicest present I ever had.
Hey, come on.
Everybody get to bed.
I know I'm sleepy even if Mrs. Beasley
isn't.
Now, go on.
Get out of here.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Night.
Night, kids.
East African ants, Sir?
Now, don't worry about it, French.
If they give us any trouble next time,
I'll bring back an anteater.
What are we going to do?
I don't know.
We never give him anything.
I didn't know he was supposed to.
I thought Cissy was knitting that tie for
herself.
I say 78 cents.
I got 29 cents.
That's almost a whole dollar.
That's a lot of money.
But Uncle Bill already has everything.
Let's ask him what he wants.
No, then it wouldn't be a surprise.
We have to find something wonderful.
Wrap it up and yell surprise.
Okay.
Look, Mr. French, there's Mr. McGarver.
And Rosie.
I bought sugar for Rosie.
Rosie.
Rosie.
Rosie.
Look who's here with smiles on their faces,
sugar in their hands, and hope in their hearts.
Hi, Mr. McGarver.
Hi, Rosie.
Oh, I agree, Rosie.
Very aptly put.
What did she say?
That the sight of you is sweeter than the
sugar.
Oh, enough of this nonsense.
Come along, children.
Goodbye, Mr. McGarver.
Bye, Rosie.
Come see us again soon.
Oh, Mr. French.
A special goodbye to you from the Rose of Killarney.
Let's ask him.
Sure.
He knows everything.
Mr. French, if you were Uncle Bill,
what kind of a present would you like?
Oh, you wish to buy Mr. Davis a gift?
Cissy gave him a tie, and he looked real happy.
We got a lot of money to spend.
But Uncle Bill already has everything.
Hmm.
Well, then, I would say that a gift
certificate would be practical.
I don't know what that is.
I know.
It isn't something I would like.
Well, a gift certificate is the best,
and that is my suggestion.
I know what to do.
What?
Let's watch Uncle Bill and see what he
needs.
Come on.
Hi.
What's on your mind?
Nothing.
Just resting.
Lose something?
Oh, I've never got a pen when I need it.
French!
What are you two grinning at?
You don't have a pen.
You're not so funny about that?
Yes, sir.
We got a pen around
Oh, I think so, sir.
Let me see, sir.
This one was in your gray tweed suit,
sir.
And this one, sir, you left in your suitcase, a special
ceremonial gift pen from the government of Thailand.
And this one One
is enough, thank you.
Uh, yes, sir.
Hey, I gotta get dressed.
He sure has pens.
There's got to be something else.
Oh.
Still resting?
We like to watch you in our spare time.
You broke a key ring.
Thanks, I wouldn't have known.
Uncle Bill?
Huh?
You need a new key ring.
Right, you are.
Now you pick out the one you like best.
Where did you get all those key rings?
Oh, I don't know.
They're all from people that didn't know
what to give me.
Hi, Mr. McGovern.
Wish.
What do we have here?
Themselves.
The two lambs and the English Shepherd.
Now look, you two, you may stay here till
I come out of the shop.
But don't move away from this spot,
you understand?
I'll be watching them, sir.
We got rosier sugar.
I have a lady's thanks to you.
You've made her morning.
It's easy to know what Rosie wants.
She's not like Uncle Bill.
We want to get Uncle Bill a present.
We saved a lot of money.
But we don't know what to buy him.
How much?
78 cents.
And 29 cents.
Woo, a fortune.
If you think of anything, Mr. McGovern,
you can tell us the next time we see you.
Well
There isn't going to be no next time, Tad.
This is the last day here for me and the
Rosa Kalani.
Well, where will you go?
Oh, well, I plan to go in for some new
kind of work.
I haven't decided yet which of several
opportunities I'll be taking.
What about Rosie?
Rosie?
Oh, she'll have a new home.
Where?
Where?
Well, uh, of course, there's no end of
offers for such as she.
I just want to be sure she goes someplace
where she's appreciated.
Buffy, I know.
I know where to get Uncle Bill.
Rosie!
Rosie!
Rosie!
Rosie!
Rosie!
Rosie!
Rosie!
Rosie!
Rosie!
Robbie!
Wow, looks like I caught you right in the
middle of a bank robbery.
I'm, uh, trying to get my money out.
I've got mine.
You gonna spend it?
All of it?
Well, I must have taken you home,
honey.
Oh, I must have taken you home.
It's been a long time to save up that
money.
You sure you want to spend it all?
I'm sure.
Me too.
Well, I guess you saw something you
wanted, huh?
The most we ever wanted anything.
Something I could get for you?
Okay, it's your money.
Uncle Bill?
Are you going someplace?
Yep, I'm going all the way to the mailbox.
I'll be back in a little while.
Then I'll show you what we bought.
Okay.
I bet he likes a horse just as good as a
knitted tie.
Have a good day, mame.
Can't.
bring that thing up here.
Don't you like horses?
I got nothing against horses, but rules is
rules.
Do you see that sign?
Parking facilities for tenants and guests
only.
Right.
Well, Mr. Bill Davis is a tenant,
isn't he?
Mr. Davis?
Sure.
This is his horse.
Now.
His horse?
Mr. Davis?
Rosie belongs to Uncle Bill.
He's very young.
Okay.
Why are you giving me the reins?
A tenant will park your vehicle.
Not me.
Just leave her.
All right, you run along, my friends.
I'll just keep Rosie company.
I'll not be a stay-in.
We've had many good years together.
Now, I'm doing the best I can for it.
I
Goodbye, Rosie Kalani.
Long, long, 90 years.
Bill!
No, but we expect him.
We got his present.
What?
When?
I mean, you two haven't been out shopping
alone, have you?
It was delivered.
What was delivered?
It's something he doesn't have and anybody
would want.
And it only cost us 78 cents and 29 cents.
But it's worth a lot more.
You'll never forget.
Oh, probably not.
Come and see it.
Come and see it.
Well, now, children.
Horse?
That horse?
Isn't she beautiful?
McGovern sold you this?
This?
I mean, but he said he'd wait here for us.
I wonder why he didn't.
Oh, because he's escaped.
He's escaped with the loot.
Don't you think Uncle Bill will be
surprised?
Oh, very.
Ah, ah.
Ah, the criminal left a clue.
His permit with an address.
All right, children, up to the apartment
at once.
Where are you going?
To find Mr. McGovern.
What about Rosie?
Oh, she'll be all right for a while.
She's too old to run away, and
Who would want to steal her?
Off you go, quickly, go on.
All right, all right, I'm coming.
Mr. French, well, now, this is an
unexpected pleasure.
Yes, Mr. McGovern, unless you make complete
restitution, I must turn this matter over to the police.
Restitution?
He says.
Police, he says.
And just what is it I'm supposed to
restitute?
The coins that you took from Buffy and
Jody by fraud?
Whoa, now, Johnny Bully, I've been called
my share of names, but fraud ain't been
among them, and it ain't gonna be as long
as I can still make a fist.
No?
Do you deny the crime, sir?
It was a fair exchange, their money for
the Rose of Killarney.
A fair exchange with unsuspecting
children?
They wanted a rare gift for their uncle,
a man who has everything, and it just so
happened that I decided to part with
Rosie.
No, you took unfair advantage of their
faith in you.
Advantage?
Their small change for the pride of Aaron?
Didn't I give them the carriage as well?
Oh, come, Mr. McGovern, you're not talking
to children now?
All right.
All right, Rosie's not as young as she
was.
Who is?
But I wanted to find her a home,
and when the Tad spoke with her uncle,
he sounded like a man who'd look out for
her.
Oh, come now, Mr. Davis is not running a
home for superannuated horses.
Here's your money.
I know where she'd take it from them,
but I didn't want to spoil the joy the
little ones had in buying a gift for their
uncle.
Yes, well, now, sir, we must ask you to
come along with us and take your horse back.
I'll come and get Rosie, and she's well out of a place
where she wouldn't be loved and they're appreciated.
Mr. McGovern, sir, may we suggest that,
well, there are societies which,
well, they pledge themselves to look after
the elderly animals.
By all the books that's never
been opened or shut, keep
your pity and your suggestions
to yourself, Mr. French.
Rosie and me will make our way.
When can I open my eyes?
As soon as we show you the suprise.
Uncle Bill, you can open up your eyes.
Horse?
He is surprised.
Did you spend all your money on that
horse?
Isn't she beautiful?
Oh, sure, yeah, she's, yeah, she's
beautiful, all right.
Uh, I think maybe we should have talked
this over, kids.
I'm not so sure you're old enough to have
a horse all your own.
Oh, she's not ours, Uncle Bill.
She's yours.
Mine.
You've given us so many presents.
And you looked so happy when Sissy gave
you that tie she made.
We wanted to get you something extra
special.
Something you didn't have.
And you didn't have a horse.
But now you do.
My name is Rosie, the Rose of Killarney.
She's won races.
With other horses.
Don't you like her?
Maybe a horse wasn't a good idea.
Oh, of course I like her.
She's a
She's the best horse I ever had.
Really?
Really.
She's the finest present in the whole wide
world.
Honest?
Honest.
And I'll never forget her.
Oh, sir.
We had hoped to get back before you were
faced with this four-legged disaster.
Oh, French, French, French, you're late
for the presentation.
Yes, yes.
You're now looking at the proudest and
happiest horse owner in greater Manhattan.
Oh, I am?
Uh, uh, we are, sir?
Uncle Bill, this is Mr. McGovern.
He used to own Rosie, but he's going into
another business.
That's how come we're so lucky.
Oh.
Oh, Bill Davis, Mr. McGovern.
It's my pleasure.
You're taken with Rosie?
Oh, completely, completely.
She says the feeling is mutual.
Well, I'll tell you what.
I've got some friends.
Ben's got a farm up near Danbury,
Connecticut.
We'll just send Rosie up there where
she'll be nice and comfortable,
and we can all go visit her on weekends,
huh?
Oh, Mr. McGovern.
Under the circumstances, sir, this money,
it's yours.
Mr. French, a deal is a deal.
I've got a sticker for you right here.
Hi, Rosie.
Hi.
Hi, Rosie.
You know, I always thought the way you
make kids happy is to give them something.
I just found out they're a lot happier if
you let them give you something.
Ah,
they're grandkids.
Say, how are you going to manage without
your horse and carriage?
Oh, now that I know that Rosie will be
looked after, I'll manage.
Health and success to you, Mr. Davis,
and the thanks of Emmett Parnell McGovern.
Well, French, um We'd better find out some
stable around here where we can board Rosie till we can
get a Van to send her up to Connecticut,
right?
Very good.
Well
Ahh so much simpler if only
they'd chosen the gift certificate.
Rosie.
Suprise Mr. French!
Surprising.
Everybody else got presents.
We didn't want you to feel bad.
Cat's are as nice as a horse.
The superintendent said we could have it.
He had all the cats he could use.
Thank you very much, children, but
next time, may I suggest a simple
shake of the hand, or at most,
many happy returns of the day?