Frauds (2025) s01e03 Episode Script

BERT: Any bright ideas
how we can make some money?
IN SPANISH:
You are here to meet Celine?
10 million's a lot of money.
Stealing a painting's a lot of work.
I took you in
when no-one else wanted to.
What happened?
I was about to offer her
the opportunity
of a lifetime -
she never changes.
I'm leaving, Craig.
You can't leave me, Jackie.
You'll never guess
who's legged it to Spain.
Bilal, that gambler
who owes us 100 grand.
Lost him.
It's not 100 grand,
but I'll get you the rest tomorrow.
Good. Cos if you don't,
I'll break your bastard fingers.
I wanna go out with a bang.
BERT WHISTLES
Drive! Shit, I said drive!
Oh, my God! A gun, Bert! A gun!
We've discussed this.
You just need to hold your nerve.
'Easier said than done
when she's living under my roof.
'I found the letters
to my daughter.'
'If you kill me, she'll hate you.'
You take me to her now.
Ah!
Look, if you just let me
I was making sure
she wasn't a loony.
I didn't want her to hurt you.
Oh, yeah, you did it for me.
Course you did,
you fucking basket-case!
Sam.
Shut up!
Here?
What are you playing at?
That's her?
She served us the other day.
Stay there!
You move out of this car,
and I will not be responsible
for my actions.
OK.
SIGHS
Caitlin. I know you don't know me,
but can we talk?
Yeah. You were here
with Bert the other day.
Have you got the jewellery?
What? No.
Has she got you working for her?
Yes, we're working together.
You mustn't do anything she asks.
When we were here, if I'd known,
I would have said.
Said?
Look, there's something
you need to know.
I'm your mum.
I'm sorry.
It's just
not what I was expecting.
I've thought about this moment
a million times.
I can't believe
I just blurted it out.
But I needed you to know.
I wanted to find you.
But if if this isn't what
you want, I totally understand.
I thought about finding you.
But I didn't know if you wanted me.
Who were they? The family that
Religious nuts.
I hate them, and as soon
as I could get out, I did.
I'm so sorry.
When?
I
..feel like I need to explain.
I was really young.
I didn't have any family support.
I thought you were going
to a better life.
Well
how could you have known
what life I was going to?
Yeah.
How long have you been
in contact with Bert?
We wrote a few letters,
and I visited her a couple of times.
A year, maybe.
A year?
PHONE VIBRATES
Fuck off, Bilal.
PHONE VIBRATES
Jesus.
Yes, Bilal?
Just checking
everything's all right?
'You two were proper battering
each other.'
Everything's fine,
it was just banter.
I need my advance.
I haven't signed you
to my record label, Bilal.
You're helping me rob a painting.
Sorry.
'Look, you told me
it would take a month to paint.'
And right now, we've just shy
of that, so I need you painting.
And like I said, sorry,
but I need my money.
SHE SIGHS
'Your birthmark.'
Yeah. I don't like it.
It makes you you.
I kissed it
the first time I held you.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be
I don't WANNA be too much.
WOMAN: Venga!
Si. I'm sorry. I need
I need to
Of course.
SIGHS
The jewellery.
The jewellery? No.
I can't let you do this.
If it's money you need, I can help.
You think you can buy me off?
No, no. That's not what I meant.
It's just
the people we're dealing with
are dangerous.
The people I deal with every day
are dangerous.
I live in a bedsit
with a pimp on one side
and a drug dealer on the other.
I've already got a buyer
lined up for your jewellery,
this is nothing.
I've had to do so much worse.
I can help you. Let me.
I don't want your money.
I wanna make my own, OK?
I always have and I always will.
Not with us.
If anything happened to you,
I would never forgive myself.
Then this is not gonna work
for me.
I needed you when I was a kid
not now.
Shit.
Look, Sam, I know this
DOOR CLOSES,
ENGINE STARTS
Caitlin, the jewellery.
She is my mother? Why the fuck
didn't you tell me it was her?
I was just making sure
that you were both ready.
Woman: Come on!
I feel I've got to run away
Into the heart of me
Argh!
A girl could give you
And that's not nearly all.
PHONE BUZZES
AND BEEPS
MISS TAKE: 'Roberta, it's Mother.
'I'm sorry I reacted badly.
Can I see you tomorrow, maybe?'
I told you, you can't just turn up
at this house.
We're out in the wild now.
You never know
where you might find me.
Maria says
you still haven't paid her.
Nurse Maria? She can wait.
She's the reason
you're here and not in prison.
No, I'm the reason
I'm here and not in prison.
Now, now. That's a shitty attitude
for a good girl.
Oh, what you gonna do? Spank me?
SHE CHUCKLES
I thought we were playing.
I'm worried you have a short memory.
You promised to cut me in
on something big.
Hope I wasn't being used.
No, I meant every word of it.
You might think
you can fuck with Maria,
but you can't fuck with me.
Oh, but I like fucking with you.
SHE CHUCKLES
SHE SIGHS
Here.
I was gonna keep it,
but give it to Maria.
She can sell it.
It's worth more than I owe her.
SIGHS
Hello?
You can't ignore me forever.
I fucking can.
I just wanted her to be
the fantasy that was in your head,
and then she rocked up
and she was a bit rough.
Rough?
Nothing can just be mine, can it?
Not even finding my daughter.
So why didn't you find her, then,
hm? I'll tell you why.
Because real people are
grey and messy and complicated,
and that scares you.
No, it doesn't.
And I did try and find her,
and you know that.
Great (!) And now you've met her.
And she isn't rough. She's kind.
Right-o.
But you didn't give me
a chance to find out for myself
before you got your claws into her.
You do not involve her in this!
She wants to be involved.
No, no, no, no, no.
She wants to belong -
that is very different.
That is projection!
Did you tell her what the job is?
No, because she needs
to prove herself first.
She has nothing to prove to you.
You stop this,
and let her get on with her life.
What is her life?
Slopping out microwave paella?
Do you not want more for her
than that?
What, so she ends up like us?
What's wrong with us?
This life!
That is what is wrong with us!
This is why I put her up
for adoption in the first place.
And now she's right
in the middle of it all.
She won't end up like us,
she IS like us.
She's just like us!
Do not compare my daughter to you.
I was comparing her to you.
You stay the fuck away from her.
She would be set for life
with a one-and-done,
and we need somebody
that we can trust.
And all you have to do is guide her.
I know what you're doing.
What, giving you
the opportunity to be a mother?
No, being a conniving fucker.
I'm done.
And you're done with Caitlin.
Yeah? What about Celine?
What about her?
What's she gonna do, shoot me?
Yeah, probably.
Cancer buys you one more night.
And then you can fuck off
and die somewhere else.
DOOR CLOSES
Fuck.
Roberta.
I can only apologise.
I found the news of your illness
very difficult.
I didn't handle it well. I'm sorry.
Can we move on from it?
Yeah.
Yeah, I was wondering
if I could come and stay with you
as I get less able to care
for myself?
No? That's not the kind of moving on
you're talking about, is it?
That is not true.
You are gonna need real help.
And if it is what you want,
I'll be there for you.
CHUCKLES
Wiping my arse?
OK, thank you.
This thing that
you wanted to talk to me about,
Mateo said
it was a huge opportunity.
We could have fun together,
couldn't we?
Like the old days.
Yeah, we could.
How much are we talking?
Money?
It's all you've ever really been
interested in, isn't it?
Well, at least you're consistent.
Me?
You cleared me out,
and you took off with that girl!
Still lying to yourself about that?
I don't remember
you returning the money.
You took
my mother's half of the club.
It was mine.
Yeah, I know about it,
and I knew about it at the time,
but I was a kid,
and your name was above the door,
so I didn't say anything
cos I knew you'd twist it.
I took what I was owed.
What YOU were owed?
What about what I was owed
for having you being dumped on me?
You took the only thing
that ever truly belonged to me
when you should've been
looking after me.
Why should I have to be
looking after you?
I'm not your mother!
Fuck you and your shitty club
and your shitty half-lived life.
Cos I'm gonna make a mark,
and you're gonna have
fuck all to do with it.
I sold the club! I rent it!
Everything is gone!
'This is Bert. Leave me a message.'
Look, I want to start your painting,
but only because I'm a good boy
Only because I'm a professional.
Erm So I need my money now.
Thank you.
BIRD SQUAWKS,
WINGS FLAP
PHONE VIBRATES
COCKEREL CROWING
SIGHS
PHONE VIBRATES
Yep?
JACKIE: 'I need funds
for the equipment, Bert.
'I need to see that canvas today.
'I thought you wanted me
to start building, but'
But what?
'This is for the job.
I'm not in Tiffany with your Amex.'
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, I'll get you some money
as soon as I can.
DOOR OPENS
I've got to go.
BERT SIGHS
COUGHING,
RETCHING
BERT VOMITS
KNOCK AT DOOR
Hi.
Hey.
Caitlin, hey.
I'm sorry.
Can we start over?
Yeah.
There's so much
I wanna ask you about your life.
I should have been there for you.
Well, we're here now.
Yeah.
I really can help, you know.
Sold the jewellery.
Well done.
UNZIPS BAG
Your cut.
I'm really good at this -
convincing people
to do things for me, hustling.
Please let me in on the job.
Did you plan this with her, this
little visit, to fuck with my head?
No! Why would we?
Sorry.
I wanna be more involved.
And you don't want Miss Take.
We need another capable pair
of hands.
You really don't understand
the risks involved,
the people involved.
I don't care. I want in!
And you want out,
so what's a girl to do?
Cos the thing is, I'm doing this,
I just need help.
SIGHS
Then it's me,
but she stays the fuck out of this.
If I stay the fuck out of this,
I stay the fuck out of this.
BABY CRYING
MAN AND WOMAN ARGUE
IN SPANISH
ARGUMENT CONTINUES
GLASS SMASHING
SHE SIGHS
BABY CRYING
SIGHS
PHONE VIBRATES
Hello?
'It's me - Viros.'
I can't really talk.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry
for how I was the other day,
and I wanted to see how you were.
I'm worried.
'Is Bert cooking something up again?
'You can tell me. I can help.'
Erm
'Actually, I
'No.'
You were right.
I shouldn't have come to see you.
Look, I need to find
my own way to deal with this,
and talking to you
will just make it harder.
I'm sorry.
DISCONNECTED TONE
BERT: Sam! Time to pay the forger!
COCKEREL CROWS
PHONE VIBRATES
Yeah, Jackie?
'Am I meeting you there?'
Yeah, we're on our way.
What are you doing?
Just making all this happen.
Jackie wants to meet Bilal.
Did you know Caitlin had left
her adopted family?
She's better off without them.
She could have had me!
And she's got you now.
Instead of building
a relationship with her,
I'm keeping her at arm's length,
dealing with all this shit.
We don't know
who she sold the watches to,
and we don't know if that's gonna
come back and bite us in the arse.
Why do I even have to think
about this?
Look, when you gave her up,
it was the right decision,
so why the big Madonna act now?
What do you know about any of it?
I know everything, because
I went through it all with you.
I found her for you.
But go on, you give me shit for it.
Look, we've got a great plan.
Jackie's on board.
We're gonna have more money than God
in a month's time,
and Little Orphan Annie
will be all over you like a rash,
and then you can pick up
where you left off,
so how's that for you?
You're a prick.
Thank you. Shall we?
BEEPING
ENGINE STARTS
Look, we're doing this,
whether you like it or not.
Not.
The forger needs paying,
and the last time he saw us,
we were knocking seven bells
out of each other.
Yoo-hoo! And she can sniff
a kick-off within 50 paces,
so could you please present
a united front?
Could you please go
and fuck yourself?
Where's this artist, then?
Should I put my best voice on?
Never met a child prodigy before.
METALLIC CRASH
What's that?
INDISTINCT SHOUTING
MAN: Come here, you prick.
I don't need you any more.
I need my money!
BILAL: Get off me!
Where is it?
Mate, stop it! Stop it!
Stop pawing at me!
Stay down. Stay down.
Get down!
You haven't got my money,
so you're coming with me.
I'm not lying.
You are.
You've had enough time.
What the fuck's going on?
BILAL WHIMPERS
They can pay you
the money they're paying me.
What?
What are you paying him?
In there, is it? How much?
I said how much?
100 grand!
Fucking hell!
Why are you worth so much to them?
I told you, I'm a painter.
You're a bellend,
that's what you are.
I might not look like it,
but I am a painter.
And who are you, might I ask?
What, haven't you told 'em?
Tell 'em, Bilal!
He's a moneylender.
Shit.
I prefer venture capitalist.
It's a bit more you know.
And what's he to you?
I'm forging for them.
Are you? What do you forge?
Everything.
Statues, paintings
Shut up, Bilal!
What about money?
All right, Mr Monopoly.
CHUCKLES
It's funny, that, yeah.
That mouth got you
in trouble before, has it?
Yeah. Has yours?
JACKIE: Don't pull any dick moves.
All right.
Try anything
and I'll smear his bollocks
up and down this patio.
BILAL: No, please.
I mean it.
I'll shoot him right now.
Yeah? And I'll do the same
to your little friend.
What, that little friend?
Deegs, what the fuck?!
Give him the gun
or I'm gonna shoot him
in the head.
And then you'll have
a head to clear up.
SHOT MAN MOANS
Gun!
Fuck!
GROANS
And the money!
Argh!
That's it.
Right, you three stay here
and be good girls.
Little boy genius works for me now.
Come on, you.
Don't fucking die on me.
Shit. Where are they taking him?
SIGHS
Come on, try hopping.
You can go in the boot.
Shut up.
It hurts! I'm bleeding.
Shut up, you dick.
PAINED GRUN
CAR ENGINE STARTS
Fuck's sake!
Now what?
How we gonna find them?
What are you doing here?
Who's she?
Someone that I'm working with.
My daughter.
You messy pair of bitches.
I've just seen the guys
you're looking for drive off
with your bag of money.
Which way?
Who is he,
the guy stuffed in the trunk?
He's an art forger.
Without him, we can't do the job.
What is the job, exactly?
We've talked about this, Caitlin.
And I never got an answer.
Where do you fit in?
JACKIE LAUGHS
Which way did they go?
I know exactly which way,
cos I put a tracker in the bag.
Why on earth would you do that?
To follow us, see what we're up to,
cos she's not stupid.
I'll come with you,
tell you where they're going,
you let me
in on what you're planning.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
OK, then.
Let's go get him!
We'll take my van.
What's this?
Driving Miss Daisy?
BLUES ROCK
ON CAR STEREO
We come off
at San Pedro in 20 minutes!
Thank you, Caitlin.
So
So
What was it like, growing up?
Was it hard for you?
It's only hard
once you know what easy is.
You think it's normal.
What was it like, leaving a baby?
Awful.
But I didn't have a choice.
I was so young,
and the life I was living,
there was no place for a baby.
So, why not get another forger?
He's the forger we need
for the job that we're doing.
What is the job, then?
I know you didn't get on
with your family,
but did she at least show you love,
your mother?
The job? I'm gonna keep asking
until you tell me.
What did you think I'd be like?
I didn't know.
I just wanted you to be you,
whatever you turned out to be.
This is me.
I don't know how to say this.
I wanted the best for you.
When I was pregnant with you,
I wanted you to have the world.
To grow up get educated, travel.
Do you think maybe you were mourning
those things for yourself?
Because you didn't get to do them?
What you did do, though,
was take your talent and applied it
to your circumstances,
which is exactly what
I'd like to have the chance to do.
I would really like
for us to work together.
SIGHS
OK, not far now.
The car stopped at a hotel.
Are you sure they're here?
There's the car.
They put him in the trunk.
Enjoying your little family outing?
If you mean spending time with
my daughter, then yes, thank you.
JACKIE: Need to get it open.
I can do that.
Poor guy. That's a lot of blood.
Shit. The state of this.
Carl Deegan. Deegs, to his mates.
He's a racketeer from Bradford.
He's a lovely guy, by all accounts.
Let's hope the forger's in one piece
and not dead in the boot.
Shit, Bilal.
Shall we go get him?
I don't want you going in.
I got us here.
I appreciate your concern,
but I'm involved.
So either you let me,
or I do it anyway.
Yeah, look,
we need to get the forger back
cos we can't do this without him,
and the person standing
in the way of that
has clapped eyes on all of us
except Caitlin,
and he's robbed all our cash
so sorry, but we need her.
I don't like it.
Yeah, we know that.
So, we know he's up there.
No. We know the money's up there.
Looks like it's in the penthouse.
She's right.
Correction, we assume
he's up there with the money.
So, shall we plan and get prepped?
OK, the plan is, we locate Bilal,
we distract Deegs for long enough
to get Bilal in the lift
and out of there.
We need to be in communication
at all times.
Sam and I stick together.
Caitlin,
you're on your own up front.
SIGHS
All I've got to do
is say the line.
OK? He's gonna fall for it.
You saw the car.
It's covered in blood.
What other choice does he have?
Jackie, man the van.
Get ready to go on my say-so.
Roger that.
Look, this job is off
if we don't get him out of there,
so are you with us or not?
Well, I suppose we'd better see
how we work as a team.
BELL DINGS ONCE
RAPID DINGING
IN SPANISH:
Lo siento!
BERT: Gracias.
WHISPERS: Be careful.
IN SPANISH:
So, I've been looking
for places out here
to put my earnings from Bradford.
You know, a nice little cash
operation here on the coast.
I've come up with a belter - gyms.
CHUCKLES
Well, they're a licence
to print money, you see.
But I don't need a licence now,
do I?
I've got you to forge money for me.
LAUGHS
Well, you don't have a dog
and bark yourself.
These gyms are just the beginning,
love.
INAUDIBLE
Right.
What's going on?
I've got to move my car.
Is this about that lad who got hurt?
Cheer up, you slag. He's fine.
I rolled him
out the car outside the hospital.
This is Rocky, by the way.
Eh? Tough as old boots,
aren't you, Rocky?
Come on, then!
CHUCKLES
You try anything, and he'll
marmalise you.
SIGHS
JACKIE: Good work, Caitlin.
Deegs is in the lift.
'Copy that. I'll be out of sight
but close if you need me.'
Sam, Bert,
you've got about three minutes.
'I heard Bilal's voice.
'He's in there,
but there's a meathead with him.'
BERT: 'Copy that.'
IN SPANISH:
Senor?
Gracias.
MUTTERS: Stay cool, Bilal.
HISSING
MUTTERS: Oh, shit.
Girls, are you out of there yet?
Deegs is heading
back into the hotel.
'Shit. We're out of time.
'Plan B, everyone.
Get into position.'
Copy that.
'Copy that.'
Caitlin?
Leave her. Don't blow it.
You sent me on a wild goose chase.
I am so sorry, sir.
There was a mix-up
with the number plates.
Join me for a drink?
You what?
A drink sir.
On the house. As a way of apology.
What, with you?
Your accent is It's very sexy.
Are you French?
HE CHUCKLES
No. No, I'm English.
BERT:
COUGHS
HE GASPS
Come on, then!
Caitlin, are we clear?
Shit!
'I'm really quite thirsty.'
So, that drink?
Another time, darling.
WHISPERS: I'll be waiting.
Don't leave me hanging.
Very forward. I like it.
I'll find you later.
He's coming in, and I stole his gun.
I've got an idea.
Policia.
Oi!
Bilal!
Argh! I fucking knew it!
Come on.
That's them.
Wait! What are we doing?
He'll catch up. We need to
We need to go to the ground floor!
I know what I'm doing! Come on.
Sam, Bert, he's too close behind us.
'We need you.'
OK, Jackie. What floor?
'Five. Floor five.'
WHISTLE
Ah, shit.
Race you!
We're coming down now. Left! Left!
Go, go, go!
DEEGS: Oi!
Go, go, go!
HORN HONKS,
WHEELS SCREECH
Shit!
POLICE RADIO CHATTER
Carl Deegan?
We want to talk to you about
a shooting earlier this afternoon.
We've had an anonymous tip-off.
We need to search your car.
One fucking job!
Come with us.
Come on, then.
Whoo!
LAUGHTER
That was mad!
You're a bleeding liability!
You're not, though -
nicking the gun and planting it.
Come on!
SPANISH POP MUSIC,
LAUGHTER
We don't know
how long the police will keep him,
and the villa's been compromised,
so you're gonna have to stay here
for a bit.
Aye, this'll do for me.
CHUCKLES
You OK?
Yeah.
Today were full-on, weren't it?
Well, never a dull moment.
THEY CHUCKLE
Thank you for coming and getting me.
I know you need me,
but it were just
..nice.
THEY LAUGH
Right, come on.
CLEARS THROA
Whoo!
GENTLE LAUGHTER
Teamwork.
ALL: Teamwork!
Can I just say something?
MUTTERS: Oh, Jesus.
Unaccustomed as I am
to public speaking.
EXHALES HEAVILY
When you came knocking
I thought
"Oh, bloody hell, not these two!'
I know we've had a laugh,
back in the day,
but you were no stranger
to getting on these fellas.
LAUGHTER
Oi-oi!
I was thinking that
life had moved on.
I mean, it had moved on,
it just moved on without me,
and I was in a rut.
And you have given me
I think the official terminology
is "a massive kick up the arse".
THEY CHUCKLE
And I am so here for it.
Cheers!
I'll drink to that.
You lovely lot!
Cheers. Cheers.
Oh, and can I just say,
when that money's in my back pocket,
you won't see me for dust.
Whooo!
MUSIC RESUMES
I can't dance. I can't.
They're pissed.
Well you were right.
On this, at least.
What, Caitlin being like you?
Yeah, but I don't want her
to be like me, do I?
Why not?
I think you're fucking great.
Is there anything else
I need to know?
Anything you've kept from me?
Nothing.
Brownie's honour. I mean it.
Hm, OK, good.
Guess you can unpack your bags.
BERT CHUCKLES
CAITLIN: So
..am I in?
Well, you're not out.
CAITLIN LAUGHS
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You did really good today.
Yeah, I know.
So, what do you think
we should do tomorrow?
PHONE VIBRATES
It's just me and you, then, kid.
I'm working.
Me too.
Yeah, you are.
We need you to crack on.
CALM CLUCKING
CHATTER AND MUSIC
CONTINUE
What you doing? I told you,
you can't just turn up here.
You did, but I'm more interested
in what you're not telling me.
Why the party?
It's just a little gathering
of friends.
Yet you don't invite your old ones?
Something going on,
you're freezing me out.
You were so much more fun
when you were less needy.
I made all of this possible.
I was your number one, now you think
you can tell me when to come and go?
No. I think I can make you come,
and then you go.
OK. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye? So you did use me?
What you doing?
Argh!
SHE WHIMPERS
Shit! What you doing?
What?
You think all your friends will like
to know that you're a lying bitch?
That you haven't got cancer?
You faked it. Mm?
If you do that, you tell them
the truth, then we're all fucked.
SHE MOANS
So let me in, then.
MUSIC PLAYS,
BANGING ON DOOR
SONG ENDS
They're good.
Where'd you get that lamb?
BANGING CONTINUES
Classic, that. It's mine.
Was putting Mr Chicken to bed.
I locked myself out.
Pfft.