FUBAR (2023) s01e03 Episode Script

1
[tense music playing]
I have a heart condition.
- And I'll be a
- Hey, we'll figure this out.
- It'll be okay.
- [Roo] Will it, new girl?
From here, it looks like
the train's gonna radiate our nuts.
Au contraire, mon frère,
don't make that move.
I have to cut power to magnets.
The train will drop from the tracks
and detonate like a dirty bomb,
destroying your country's ability
to grow food.
I'm no farmer,
but I'm pretty sure famine's bad.
My wife and son are asleep
five minutes from here.
I have to derail it
before it reaches Nur-Sultan.
- Our friends are on that train.
- Screw everyone else.
We're in the path of that soul train,
so I have a vested interest
in stopping it too, just not this way.
You are not inspectors.
You could be with terrorists.
We're undercover CIA.
Then show me your identification.
Do I really have to explain
"undercover" to you?
- You move, I'll shoot!
- Then my hand will fall on the switch.
[tense music playing]
I have an idea, but it's dangerous.
More dangerous than an out-of-control
nuclear bullet train?
Good point.
If cooling the magnets
speeds the train up,
then warming them
would slow it down, right?
If I could just
pump something hot in there.
- That's what Donnie's thinking.
- Nuclear sludge. It's warm.
Yes. Open the window to the tanker car,
I'll go up, grab the hose,
and feed it through.
No. The train is going too fast.
It will blow you off.
If I don't try, we could all die.
Well, if you do try,
you'll definitely die.
We can't do nothing.
I might have a plan.
[tense music continues]
If we move real closely together,
this should work.
I can't believe you brought these.
Thought we could use them in our downtime.
Okay, here's the plan. I go outside,
and you anchor me
through the aluminum roof.
I'm half your size.
Less surface area for the wind to grab me.
I can't let you go out there.
- Chief, only Emma's way works.
- What could possibly happen?
She could fly off and hit the rock
at a hundred miles an hour.
There's a downside,
but we need to get this done.
I can do this
but I need your help.
[tense music playing]
[grunts]
[grunting]
[grunts]
I'm almost there.
- This thing is all over the place.
- [Aldon] You have to wrestle it down.
We're running out of track fast.
- Just be careful.
- [Emma] Dad, I can't reach it.
You gotta let me go so I can leap for it.
No, that's too big of a risk.
If I don't get this thing,
we all die anyway.
I said no.
When I was little,
you used to toss me in the air
and then catch me.
You never missed.
I trust you.
I missed once.
You bounced off the ottoman,
and your mother was really pissed off.
I don't wanna be that guy,
but ticktock, Luke.
Dad, I did what Dr. Pepper said.
I asked you for help.
Now it is your turn.
You have to listen to me.
Please, just let me go.
[straining, grunts]
[grunts, groans]
[grunts]
[dramatic music playing]
[grunts]
[grunt]
[straining]
I got you, baby.
I got you.
You gotta pull the hose
back into the conductor's booth
and attach it to the fuel valve
next to the nitrogen tank.
[Tina] It's uniform with the tanker valve,
so the hose should fit into place.
[Emma breathes deeply]
Flip the pump switch next to it.
- Magnet's already warming.
- We have steady deceleration.
[Emma] We're slowing.
[triumphant music playing]
I think we did it.
I think we did.
[exhales]
It's stopped. It's over.
- You're not part of this, Borat.
- Yeah, you're not part of it.
[light rock music playing]
But the bottom line is,
we didn't catch Boro,
and Boro didn't get what he needed.
So, for now, a tie is as good as a win.
What are you, my daughter's soccer coach?
I want Boro on a plate.
Also wanna know how Kazakhstan
almost turned into a nuclear wasteland.
- Oh, uh
- A technical glitch.
Static on the comms.
We misheard the number of valves to flood.
Really?
Get some rest while you can.
I've already got a dozen operatives
sweeping every digital signal
on the planet looking for Boro.
Once we get a bite,
you're off the sidelines.
[computer beeps]
[Luke sighs]
Appreciate you covering for me.
I appreciate you
listening to me on the train.
[exhales]
It wasn't easy letting you go like that.
Never has been.
All surveillance of Donnie stops,
or I narc you out to Dot and Mom.
Right.
Hey, Barry,
shut down Operation Don Juan.
And I googled "cuckolding."
I owe you an apology.
[Barry] Copy that.
Satisfied?
For now.
If you don't mind, I need to make a call.
[door closes]
[grunts]
Sit
Butt.
Hey, hey!
You're, uh, already back at the office?
Hey. Um, yeah, I should be done
in the next few hours.
Look, I was thinking about
this whole Nana Pat situation.
I know you hate being lied to,
especially by somebody who loved you,
but maybe she lied to you
because she loves you.
I mean, she didn't have much, right?
Then she gives you this clock
and tells you this whole story
because she knows
it's gonna make you happy. And it did.
Until I learned the truth.
Exactly. Maybe the truth is overrated.
I mean, maybe lying isn't always so bad.
That's the exact opposite
of everything I teach my students,
but, uh, yeah, I guess I could
cut Nana Pat some slack.
Cool.
Hey, um I was thinking
maybe we could play
some of those Lee Fields songs
and, I don't know have a wild night
sanding and staining that clock.
I bought some top-shelf wood stain
from the hobby store down the street.
Is that Russian?
The guy said it's the best.
All right. That sounds good.
I'll make up a cheese plate.
I love you.
And that is no lie.
- I love you too.
- [knocking at door]
Hey, Roo and I are gonna go grab
a "post-save the world" lager. You in?
I I can't. I have plans.
[Aldon] Next time then.
I mean, after what you pulled off today,
I'm sure there'll be
other opportunities for celebrations.
Amazing work, seriously.
Ciao, bella.
[door closes]
[door closes]
I put the table saw in the garage.
You could have held onto that.
No one but you ever needs it.
I don't have any room for it.
Um look
I don't need the table saw.
It's just that Donald is the first guy
that you've gotten serious with,
and so it's really weird
when another man has family dinners
with my family.
So if you ever have
an extra spot for me at the table
I would love to get an invite.
How about right now?
I can throw
some leftover lasagna in the oven.
I would love it.
Good.
[sinister music playing]
[groaning]
Boro.
Hello, William.
You may have escaped Guyana,
but you can't escape me.
- [groans]
- Shh!
Let me explain.
You had a job interview yesterday.
[groans]
I hope it went well.
Anyway,
you were leaving the building
A man got out of a truck.
And we sprayed you with chloroform, and
here you are.
[whimpers]
Now, I assume you'd like to go home
to your wife and child?
Oh, please.
Well all you have to do
is tell me everything you know
about Finn Hoss and Danielle DeRosa.
What did you learn
when you were all betraying me together?
I I don't know.
I
[whimpers] I don't know.
What did they say?!
[tense music playing]
What did you hear?!
Where were they going?!
I don't know! We were being shot at!
- What did they tell you?!
- Nothing!
They were arguing. I couldn't hear.
He called her Emma!
[music ends]
- Emma?
- Yeah.
Finn called her Emma.
And she plays the violin.
I heard him say something about
her hurting her violin arm.
Emma. Violin.
That's all I know, Boro! I swear it!
[William whimpers]
Okay.
Emma.
Violin.
Good job, Will.
Cut off his leg,
in case there's something else he forgot.
[William] No!
[William screaming] Wait! No! Please!
No!
[saw grinding]
This man said his name was Finn Hoss.
He said he was my father's friend
and my friend.
All lies.
He murdered my father.
He's an evil man
intent on doing evil things.
He's dangerous,
and he needs to be stopped
before he hurts others.
The only way this will happen
is if you help me find him.
What I have told you and this photograph
is all I have to go on.
[tense music plays]
Finn Hoss is affiliated
with an untrustworthy American
who goes by Emma and plays the violin.
All we know
is "Emma"
and "violin."
Find her.
Find Finn.
Whoever does
gets one million US dollars.
[music intensifies]
[music ends]
["The Fish Aren't Biting Today"
by David Allan Coe playing]
Take the jib sail down ♪
[Luke] Hey, Rooster. Come on, have a beer.
- [Roo] All right.
- [Luke] Live it here.
- Come on, let's celebrate.
- Earned this.
- [Aldon] Let's go.
- You too.
- Hey, cheers.
- Hey.
To Boro laying low and licking his wounds
after a resounding defeat.
- Hear, hear.
- Hey. Cheers.
- [Roo] Cheers to that.
- Cheers.
And to the Tally-Ho.
- What's that?
- You're standing on her.
It's a gesture to win my wife back.
- You think that one through, chief?
- It's a British call to action.
To move forward.
It's the Tally-Ho.
Uh-oh. Shit.
I just had it painted on this morning.
At least the princess isn't here
to go tattle to Mommy.
I invited Emma.
But Carter's probably
keeping her busy scrapbooking.
Oh, you really
Like, you really hate this guy, huh?
Is he, like, super handsome,
or rich, or something?
Yeah, or something. That's right.
Sir, this is amazing.
Twice the size of my apartment. [chuckles]
Oh, thank you.
First of all, I like that "sir" stuff,
so keep it up.
Second, come on, grab a beer.
What are you waiting for?
- Thank you. [chuckles]
- We're celebrating here.
Why'd you invite the NSA stooge?
She did good work on the train job.
I figured she'd wanna see a cool boat.
- [Luke] It's not a boat. It's a ship.
- [Roo] Ew.
- You have a crush on her.
- What?
You wanna get naked
and push your stuff together.
No. She is a co-worker.
Then why is your right temple pulsating?
You're sweating through
your Transformers t-shirt.
It's Voltron.
If you had a heart monitor on,
it'd be buzzing like a bee's butthole.
Okay, you're right. Just keep it down.
[phone chimes, vibrates]
- Is that a text from your boyfriend?
- Mm.
Boyfriend? [scoffs]
No, I'm single as a dollar bill.
[chuckles]
- Good.
- This is a bot alert that I set up.
Just for you, or maybe you wanna share?
Uh, well, I set up an algorithm
- [Roo] What?
- Use your outside voice.
[clears throat]
Uh, well I set up an algorithm
to search social media, news articles,
even classifieds
that might be just tangentially related
to anything associated
with radioactive material,
nuclear hardware, Cesium-137.
Anything that could be Boro
poking his head up.
Smart thinking.
Thank you, sir.
Well, I got a hit on a news story
about a Moldovan scientist
who was kidnapped in Ireland.
His research focused
on repurposing radioactive waste.
Could be a coincidence.
Could be a lead.
- How long will it take to figure this out?
- Couple hours.
Cruise is over.
Okay.
- [Tina sighs]
- Hey
Good work.
[exhales] Thank you.
I'm so nervous. He's a legend.
You know, I can grab Emma on the way
if that makes things easier for you.
No, that's okay. I will pick her up.
We need to talk anyway.
- Right, good idea.
- [Luke] All right.
But you're my ride,
- and I gotta change shirts before work.
- Oh
- Roo made me gut the fish.
- I'll give you a lift, stinky.
Come on. We gotta go.
[moans]
And remember, guys, I'll see you
at the car wash in two hours.
- [Roo] Okay.
- [Aldon] Great.
And I love you and your auntie ♪
More than
Triple-decker double-cherry pie ♪
And I love you and your auntie ♪
More than all the birds
That fly up in the sky ♪
[soft instrumental music playing]
You're a good doobie.
- How's Romi?
- She's good. She's good, yeah.
Motrin's brought her fever down, so
Good.
[Carter sighs]
Uh, yeah, Oscar texted.
His MyAisles' meeting's running late.
Oh, it's fine, I don't mind.
I love looking after her.
And it is good practice.
- Oh, for us?
- Yes. Oh yeah.
[spluttering] Right. Not for right now,
but, you know, sometime.
[chuckling] Yeah, that'd be crazy.
[splutters]
It'd be crazy for right now, right?
Or or that'd just be crazy?
Because, like, you
You always said you wanted kids.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, in theory.
But [sighs]
lately, I've [chuckles]
I've been thinking about families
and how easy it is to screw them up.
Ye Yeah, it is.
But why would ours
Our Ours wouldn't be screwed up.
No. No, it'd be great.
- It's just
- Yeah.
We're putting the cart before the horse.
We're not even engaged. [chuckles]
No, um, but we will be soon enough, right?
And then, you know,
we're gonna want a family,
so, like, it can't hurt to talk about,
you know, how we'd wanna raise kids,
where we'd wanna raise them,
some sort of work-life balance.
What do you mean work-life balance?
Oh man.
Uh, just the balance
between work and life.
You know, uh
[whispers] Shit.
Okay, we've both got jobs, right? Okay?
Yours takes you away a lot.
Sorry, I'm confused.
Are you saying that
you aren't sure that I could be
a good mom because I work?
No. No, no, no. God, no. No.
I'm just saying that personally,
uh, I think I benefited from having
my mother at home when I was a kid.
- Unreal.
- What?
If the roles were reversed,
if I was a teacher and you had my job,
no one would even ask you
if you could handle it.
It would just be expected
that I would stay home with the baby.
Okay, that's That's not what I'm saying.
It's what you insinuated,
even if you don't realize it.
Let's not do this, okay?
We don't need to fight, um,
or whatever this is.
I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry.
I just, um
You're right. You're right.
We're not even engaged.
- [door opens]
- [Luke] Knock, knock.
I'm sorry I'm disturbing.
I just wanted to check
if Emma is available for lunch.
Maybe at this new burger place
at the car wash.
Sure, Dad. If if Carter's willing
to keep an eye on Romi.
[smacks lips] Of course.
Yeah, I'll stay home with the baby.
- Were you eavesdropping?
- No.
I was just coming to pick you up.
Can't I see my own daughter
in my own house anymore?
Hasn't been your house for 15 years.
Tell this to my mortgage payments.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey. Perfect timing.
Look at this.
Who's the schlepper? Oh, it's Donnie.
- Hey, Luke. Emma, hi.
- [Luke] Yeah.
Hey, I have good news. I got the Oden.
- Your ship?
- Here.
[Tally] Wow.
It's Wow.
- Wait until you go out on it.
- [Donnie] I wish.
But I can't. I got an ear thing.
Get seasick very easily.
Oh, that's okay. I didn't ask you.
That's a very sweet offer,
but work's crazy.
HR is overwhelmed downsizing.
It's terrible.
Good people losing their jobs
Yeah, the firings are rough.
I keep telling her she'll get used to it.
- That's what I'm afraid of.
- But, Tally, you're kind, you're caring.
If anyone can make the co-workers
feel that there's still hope,
that things will work out
even in the darkest hours,
it's you.
You have a big heart.
Even when we ended our marriage,
you still made me feel that there's hope,
that things will work out.
I guess. Kinda.
And things did work out for you.
You're okay.
[gentle piano music playing]
Not yet,
but I still have hope.
- Okay, cool. Shall we go?
- Yeah.
Bye-bye. [chuckles]
You good, yep?
Bye, Donnie. So good to see you.
[door opens]
- [sighs] I'll be just a minute.
- All right, bud.
Oh, wow! Dude.
Bartholomew Putt died today
of terminal celibacy.
He is survived by millions of toys
and zero girlfriends.
They're action figures.
They're vagina repellent.
- I choose not to bring women here.
- Mm.
This is my Batcave,
my Fortress of Solitude.
Well, if your goal's solitude,
mission accomplished.
The only person that would be
turned on by this is Santa.
What is this?
I'm an aspiring oboist.
Good move.
Nothing drops panties like a woodwind.
- I'm getting a clean shirt.
- I'm just busting your chops.
Come on.
Listen, if you want a shot with Tina,
you gotta ditch all this stuff,
even if it just barely helps your odds.
"Never tell me the odds."
Han Solo.
- [winces]
- What did I just say?
Now go get changed.
And if you put on something
with a hobbit or something like that,
you'll get a fresh one.
Okay.
I'm doing this for you, okay?
I'm just trying to get some V for your D.
So just for the record,
I'm 100% on board
with the
"Don't have children with Carter" policy.
You were eavesdropping.
I'm a spy. Of course I eavesdrop.
I didn't say
I don't wanna have kids with Carter,
I just said I think we should wait a bit.
I love Carter very much, okay?
The CIA side of my life
is a little chaotic,
but he's he's steady
and and predictable.
Steady and predictable is something
you want from your accountant,
but not from your life partner.
Your mother still is the most exciting
and the most challenging person
that I've ever known.
You need to find somebody that can
stimulate your mind and your heart,
not some nerd that wants to do
artsy-crafty stuff with you.
Hey, I like doing artsy-craftsy stuff.
It's soothing.
Do I sometimes wish
he was a little bit more adventurous? Yes.
But You know what? Why
Oh my God, you're the last person on Earth
I should be discussing
relationship stuff with.
I just watched you beg Mom
to get on your little boat
like a lovesick schoolboy.
One, it was just a casual invitation.
Two, it's not a boat. It's a ship.
Okay, well, that ship has sailed.
The kidnapping Tina stumbled onto
was of Moldovan applied physicist,
Dr. Karl Novac.
He was in Ireland on a goodwill tour
to pump up Moldovan scientific prowess.
First blush is,
disappearance seems insignificant.
But Dr. Novac authored a scientific paper
outlining a novel process
to extract and augment
fissile nuclear material
from nuclear waste.
So Boro grabbed Poindexter
to salvage something useful
from that little bit
he got from the train?
- That's the theory we're going with.
- But Boro basically kidnapped a chef.
I mean,
he still needs his kitchen utensils
to make his radioactive dish.
If we can figure out
what that hardware is,
maybe we can get to it first
and then catch Boro.
Possibly. But there's a speed bump.
We've only ever seen an abstract
of Dr. Novac's paper.
The official scientific research
explaining the extraction process
was blocked from publication
by the Moldovan government.
Instead, they labeled him a national asset
and moved him to a government dormitory
with a handler
to protect him from spies and IP theft
and prevent defection.
- The whole dormitory's air-gapped?
- No Wi-Fi, no landline, no way to hack in.
Except for this.
That's why we have Air-hopper.
It's an app that can suck
all the data from any nearby hard drive.
It's camouflaged in a shell
of a popular game Jam Slam.
But how is the team
supposed to get past security
to get into the dormitory
to even use the app?
The only way to get in is to be invited
by someone who lives there.
Fortunately, Novac's handler,
Nika Stalinovich, lives at the dorm.
So she will have to invite home
someone from our team.
Pooh Bear.
[chanting] Pooh Bear! Pooh Bear!
Pooh Bear! Pooh Bear! Pooh Bear!
What the hell is Pooh Bear?
Aldon's Pooh Bear on account
of all the honeypots he collects.
Gross.
Pooh Bear! Pooh Bear! Pooh Bear!
- All right, knock it off.
- Sorry.
Sorry, boss.
Stalinovich will have all
of Novac's research on her computer,
so Aldon will
Pooh Bear.
use what little charm he has
to access her dorm
and download the paper using the app.
That should lead us to Boro's next move.
Great.
So, what does this lucky lady look like?
- [Dr. Pfeffer clears throat]
- [all] Boo.
[chuckles]
[clears throat]
There are no known photos of Nika,
as government handlers
are kept clandestine,
but I put together
a very interesting psych profile.
[Dr. Pfeffer clears throat]
Nika Stalinovich is a mid-level manager
suffering from low self-esteem
due to Novac's kidnapping
during a tour she signed off on.
Standard operating procedure
after such an incident
usually means the retraining
of all government handlers.
That would mean
a full day of re-education in a hotel,
The Bad Buffet.
[clears throat]
Luckily for us, just down the street
from the hotel is a bar.
After hours of public humiliation,
our backer, Nika,
will make her way across the street
where she will drown her sorrows
in some plum brandy.
So if Dr. Pepper is right,
the bar's our way in.
Pfeffer, like in "Michelle."
Dr. Pepper's theory
on Nika's state of mind
should make her open and vulnerable
to my very unique brand
of romantic persuasion.
Your plane leaves in 12 hours,
as Nika's retraining finishes in 24.
I'll make sure there's a friendly asset
standing by with transpo for you.
Okay, get going everyone.
- Let's go.
- [Roo] Okay.
[sinister music playing]
Is everything in place?
Just waiting for a few shipments.
These are daisies. I asked for dog rose.
Yeah, but daisies are in season.
I will get the dog roses.
Excellent.
I want it all to be perfect.
[music ends]
[Luke] You're gonna be checkmated
in no time.
- That's for sure.
- Seriously, Dad?
Could you have requisitioned
a more unflattering outfit for me?
Well, you can't be Aldon's backup
if everyone in the bar is hitting on you.
About time you got a taste of it.
They always make me look like
a Baltic washerwoman.
Yeah, I should probably get ready too.
I gotta have the right bait
to reel in the fish.
- [scoffs]
- Speaking of which,
I'm a little worried about
this "no photo of Nika" thing.
Everybody thinks
you always land a rainbow trout,
but every now and again,
a sea robin just plops on deck,
- or a blobfish.
- [laughing]
Don't laugh at that.
Quick question.
Did you participate
in one of these missions
when you were married to Mom?
- Did you ever have an affair?
- Oh!
I never once had an affair
while I was married to your mother.
Well, that killed the mood.
[door closes]
- I could've been indecent.
- You are indecent.
The way you speak is disrespectful to me
and every woman
you have seduced in the line of duty.
You know what? You're right.
I was just trying to be funny. It wasn't.
For the record, I respect women a ton.
Yeah, sure you do.
Hey, I'm just straightforward about sex
on or off the job.
I treat women as equals, okay?
We all have needs, right?
I make offers with physical engagement.
If it's a yes, then great,
we'll both have a fantastic time,
because I'm really, really good
at intercourse.
But if it's a no,
then hopefully we become friends.
- What's more respectful than that?
- So many things.
First of all, your order of operations,
sex first, then maybe friendship?
Clearly women have one function
in your book.
- Roo and I are best friends.
- Roo is gay.
You guys are buddies
because sex is off the table.
I've had sex off a table, on a table,
and under a table at a Sur La Table,
and no, the irony isn't lost on me.
Bottom line,
honeypotting isn't easy, okay?
It's an art and a science.
No, it's an excuse for
arrested development frat boy bullshit,
and you know it.
[door closes]
[percussive music builds, ends]
[gentle music playing]
Green light. Cameras are in place.
[Barry] Pool chalk,
operational.
Eraser,
operational.
Salt shaker,
operational. [slurps]
[car horns honking in distance]
[Luke]
People are filtering out of the hotel.
Retraining must be over.
We'll alert you
if we see anyone who could be Nika.
[Emma] Hope she has no sense of smell.
Caught a whiff of Aldon.
He's like a category four
Drakkar Noir tsunami.
Pop culture in Eastern Europe
is 30 years behind the US.
They're into Zima,
'90s emo rock, and Drakkar Noir.
Nika's gonna love it.
And if she doesn't?
Simple.
Shock and awe.
[Luke] We may have a hit.
Tall blonde, appears to be
coming out of the retraining.
Man, Aldon's got a horseshoe up his ass.
[Aldon exhales, chuckles]
I have the best job.
[in Romanian] Anya. What'll it be?
[in English] Well, that's a negative
on Nika Stalinovich. Damn it.
[in Romanian]
Thanks for ruining our day, Nik.
- [in English] Did he just say Nik?
- Could Nika actually be a Nik?
Nik is a very common name
in this part of the world.
[in Romanian] You're a real goatfucker,
Stalinovich.
[in English] Tell me there's a lot
of Stalinoviches in this region.
Apparently, Nika Stalinovich was a typo.
Our target is Nik A. Stalinovich.
- Shit.
- Shit.
- Shit.
- This is hilarious.
Hang on, don't panic.
- Okay, he's definitely straight.
- How do you know?
Well, he didn't want any of this.
- We have to pivot. I'll take the lead.
- [Luke] Absolutely not.
- We abort now.
- On what grounds?
On the ground that I carry a photograph
of her in pigtails in my wallet.
Wallet photos? How old are you?
- I can do this.
- [Aldon] Damn right you can.
Get to the bathroom and de-frump yourself.
I'll be back in a minute.
No, you shut it down. I'm senior officer.
Then you know it violates protocol
to abort a mission
for any reason other than imminent death
or severe bodily injury
to an officer or civilian.
You may experience severe bodily injury.
I will not let my daughter
do the honeypot.
This isn't a honeypot, it's a honey drop.
She just talks to the guy,
gets him to take her back to his place,
uses the hopper to record the data,
and then she's off with her pants on.
At worst, there'll be some heavy petting.
Luke, she is a good officer.
Let her do her job.
And I'm gonna go do mine.
Hey, ladies.
Let's make a deal.
Okay, good. That's already an improvement.
- Try these.
- Where'd you get those?
Just a little help from some friends.
[Emma] Got it.
- Yep.
- There you go.
Let me give you my shirt.
Nothing sexier
than a woman in a man's shirt.
Do not take off your shirt.
Aldon might still get a honeypot.
Luke, the shirt you gave her
looks like something from
the Little Women Abstinence Collection.
That's it. I'm coming in.
Bad idea. You cause a commotion,
Nik gets nervous and leaves.
- Play it cool.
- [Luke] Oh, shut up, Barry.
It's your fault that she's
in this situation in the first place.
You should've never
let the CIA recruit her.
My fault? You think the CIA
would've recruited her
if her last name wasn't Brunner?
This is your fault.
[groans]
I need a break from hearing people argue
about who's at fault for decisions I made.
That's a good idea.
Okay.
Here you go. I'm sorry for the sweat.
- And just leave a few buttons open
- Yeah, okay, I got it.
- I know how to look hot.
- My bad.
- You okay?
- I'm fine.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
Uh-huh. Look, it's just us here.
Look, truth?
- I don't always love doing this, okay?
- [scoffs]
Sometimes it's weird and creepy
or just awkward and unpleasant.
A lot of times,
it leaves me feeling pretty awful.
[speaking Swahili]
[in English] That's
"be with me, my darling" in Swahili.
I've said that in three dozen languages
and, uh, never once meant it.
So yeah, laughing with the gang
can sometimes make it easier,
but if you don't wanna do this,
we can find a workaround.
End of story.
It's not that. It's
I I've honeypotted
once or twice before. It's just
It sounds stupid, but I
I've never so much as kissed anybody
since I've been with Carter.
I've never been unfaithful.
You're not being unfaithful.
You're simply doing your job.
Now I can't say I've ever been
in your exact position before
because I've never been
in a real relationship,
but you should know that
what you're doing is for Carter
and all the other
schoolteachers out there,
and their students, parents, podiatrists,
and everyone else in the world.
Because stopping Boro means saving lives.
You're doing nothing wrong, Emma.
[somber music playing]
It's actually good advice.
Yeah, shallow waters run deep, right?
Okay, I'm gonna airdrop you
the Jam Slam app.
- [phone beeps]
- There you go.
All right, you look great. You ready?
- Yeah.
- I'll be in that booth if you need me.
But you got this.
- I know.
- Oh, one last thing.
You can't ask Nik back to his place.
He has to invite you.
- Why?
- We don't wanna raise any suspicion.
And women like you never have to ask.
They only get asked.
Okay, you're on in one.
Game face.
[door closes]
Look at that. New outfit for Princess.
What a surprise.
[tense music playing]
[in Spanish] Bad night?
[in Romanian] I don't speak Spanish.
Romanian? Russian?
[in accented English] Uh, some English?
I know English, yes.
[chuckles] Oh.
Then I'll ask again, bad night?
Well, my co-workers and boss,
they blame me for something
that wasn't my fault.
Oh. [sighs]
I know what that's like.
Your boss interfering with your work,
even if you don't need their help.
even if they're out-of-touch,
overbearing know-it-alls.
Seriously?
I mean, what did I do to deserve this?
She is the worst, right?
I mean, we should just dump her
from the squad,
go back to when I started out, you know?
Just you and me, Luke and Roo.
Team Loo.
[imitates crowd cheering]
Can I buy you a drink?
At least one.
[Aldon] You've got him hooked.
Now reel him in.
Mimic his body language.
It'll make him feel like you're in sync.
Thank you.
So tell me about yourself.
- [phone vibrating]
- Well, there's not much to tell.
[Emma on voicemail] Hi, it's Emma.
Leave me a message. [beeps]
Hi. It's, uh, it's me.
Um, yeah, I don't know.
I feel terrible about our argument,
and
[voicemail] If you're happy
with your message, press one.
If you'd like to delete your message,
press two.
Message deleted.
My employer expects so much from me,
but then they put me up
in this tiny hotel with no hot water.
You should see my place.
The only unit in the complex,
with beautiful climbing white wisteria
around the window sills.
You can smell them through the glass.
Bingo, that's enough info
to find our lover boy's apartment.
We're not going anywhere
as long as she's with that creep!
Come on, Aldon ain't that bad.
[Aldon] Emma can take care of herself.
I'm watching her six
if things go sideways. Go recon.
[tense music playing]
Guard's got a HK416 series.
Ah, there. White flower bullshit
around the window.
It's gotta be Nik's place.
That flagpole right across from it?
- Can you make that shot?
- It's geometry.
I can make that shot
with your eyes, old man.
The guard will hear the rifle crack,
and a silencer would affect accuracy.
Barry, hook me up.
Already searching for buildings
with appropriate sight lines.
Tina, text me current wind speed
and humidity readings.
Best candidates seem to be
the fifth-floor window
of a hospital a half a mile away.
On my way.
Oh, what department's the fifth floor?
Are you messing with me?
All right, I gotta go to a supermarket
to get a hot water bottle
and a can of oxtail soup.
- I'll be back soon.
- Okay.
[both laughing]
Good job, you're a natural.
Time to close the deal.
[in Romanian]
Why don't you ditch this loser
and have a drink with some real men?
Come on, guys, don't be like that.
Or what?
You gonna get us sent
to some more retraining?
Shit.
[man grunts]
[in Romanian] What the hell?
My bad.
Let me dry you off.
["Song 2" by Blue playing]
[Aldon grunts]
Woo-hoo ♪
When I feel heavy metal ♪
Woo-hoo ♪
Go.
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
I just hate all this macho nonsense.
[both grunting]
- Want to get out of here?
- I'd love to.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah ♪
[Aldon grunts]
Yeah, yeah ♪
[mouthing] Thank you.
Oh, yeah ♪
Be careful. That's an original Kelvin.
Final delivery has arrived.
[Boro laughing]
- [tense music playing]
- [sighs]
It's perfect.
[in Romanian] I need a doctor.
Like everyone else here.
Take a seat.
- [whimsical music plays]
- [telephone rings]
Dear Lord.
Get her to Gastroenterology now!
[Roo panting]
[exhales]
Sorry for the dirty squirties.
[guard in English] ID.
What is the purpose of your visit,
Miss Flores?
Business or pleasure?
[chuckles] It isn't business.
- [Emma chuckles]
- [Luke sighs]
All good.
She's heading inside.
[exhales]
- Roo, what's the holdup?
- [Roo] Cut me a break.
There's a whole quart of goulash
up my crack.
[Barry] Better hurry, Roo.
We can't find a CCTV feed in the hospital,
so I have no eyes on the hallway.
Please. This whole country
is socialized medicine.
It'll be hours
- before some quack comes in here.
- [door opens]
[gasps]
What's up, doc?
[tense music playing]
[Emma] You weren't lying.
The flowers are beautiful.
And that flagpole,
how patriotic.
Looks brand-new, not a mark on it.
Everything okay?
Yeah.
Why can't I hear Emma on comms?
There seems to be interference.
Let me see if I can boost the signal.
I'm gonna get her.
That's it, and that's all.
[Roo] Negatory, boss.
Guard's got a PKM, 650 rounds per minute.
You'd be Swiss cheese.
Barry, can you get a connection?
I'm cycling channels.
- Anything?
- No.
Doesn't make any sense.
It's like we're sealed off.
Or maybe they are.
When Dr. Novac was nabbed in Ireland,
the Moldovan government
must've boosted security in the dorms
with a digital Faraday cage.
- A what cage?
- [Tina] Faraday.
A digital mesh
that no signal can even get through.
That's why we can't hear Emma.
I doubt she can hear us.
She's flying blind.
That's why Roo
needs to take the damn shot.
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Listen, Dr. Zhivago, either I bash you
in the head until you're out cold,
or you inject yourself
with 40 cc's of night-night.
There you go, sleepytime tea.
Put it in you.
Come on.
[tense music playing]
Getting in position.
[window squeaking]
[Roo] I'm working my angles.
You mark the spot, boomer.
[whirring]
Did you hear something?
No but I would love to.
What do you have that would set the mood?
Just the thing.
And we have video.
This is my favorite song.
["Lightning Crashes" by Live playing]
Lightning crashes ♪
And audio.
'90s emo rock. [chuckles]
- Called it.
- [engine starts]
We have eyes and ears
on everything but the bedroom.
[Luke] We don't need the bedroom.
She collects the data
and get the hell out of there. That's it.
falls to the floor ♪
[Barry] Emma's doing a great job
of getting data from Nik's laptop,
but the Faraday cage
won't let that data be sent to me.
I have no idea if she downloaded
Dr. Novac's research paper
or his grocery list.
Look, I know Emma.
She's not gonna leave before she knows
for sure that the job is done.
The only way she knows that
is if she gets our confirmation.
- So we must turn off the cage.
- [Tina] I'd advise against that, sir.
If they went through the trouble
of setting up that cage,
they definitely put an alarm on it.
Shut it off, the alarm sounds,
and then the dorm goes into lockdown.
Emma got past the guard
with her credentials,
but she'll get busted
if they do a deep dive.
Hold on. [snaps fingers]
You said the Faraday cage
is like a digital mesh, right?
- Mm-hm.
- Mesh comes in all sizes.
Tight like a screen door,
or loose and more revealing
like a sexy crop top.
And the point is?
The cage requires a ton of power,
meaning it'd have a dedicated line.
We tap into it, we can dim the power
without cutting it off.
We weaken the mesh
so we can get our comms through to Emma
without tripping the alarm.
The mesh is there
but provides no protection.
Exactly.
[Tina gasps]
Found the power line.
Now it looks like they dug a trench
and ran a conduit
to an electrical tower several miles away.
If it's standard PVC,
it won't be that deep,
so you should be able
to easily compromise it.
It's only ten yards west of you.
- Found it.
- [Barry] Get digging.
You'll need two holes, six inches apart.
[Nik clears throat]
[Nik] Here you go.
Thank you.
[Nik clears throat] Yeah.
- Salut.
- Salut.
[Nik chuckles]
Mm.
[grunts] You're so aggressive.
[car door closes]
Start digging the second hole.
Yes. Okay.
This is very uncomfortable.
I took her to see the Jimmy Neutron movie.
Man, she's a good kisser though.
I don't need to hear all this crap.
Is Emma in position?
She's in a position.
Is she close to Nik's device or not?
[Barry] From what I can see,
she just downloaded the last device
in the room,
but until that cage is down,
I have no idea what she got us.
[Nik] Whoa, whoa. Sorry.
I am, how do they say,
all of the thumbs, huh? [chuckles]
[Emma chuckles]
Oh,
I think you knocked your phone off the
What is this?
Jam Slam?
[tense music ends]
I've heard of it,
but, uh, Western games are frowned upon.
Your phone sent you a memory.
Who is this?
That's my brother.
[splutters] He's a little slow.
Uh, why in English?
[crickets chirping]
He lives in Boston now.
There's a special school for him there.
Huh.
- I'm gonna freshen up.
- Oh yeah.
I'll just play for a bit while I wait.
Oh, okay.
[exhales]
I'm sorry, Carter.
Seriously?
[Luke] I found the PVC pipe.
Okay, we can see the power lines.
Now what?
[Barry] You need to create a resistor,
a metal arch.
Place its two ends into the hole
so that they touch the power line.
Where are we?
- I need a spare tire and an antenna. Now.
- Got it.
Here we go.
All right, grounded, and ready to connect.
Sounds like my Tinder profile.
[electricity buzzes]
[Barry] Success.
Faraday cage weakened,
data is being accessed,
signals are coming in and out of the door.
Uncle Barry, where have you guys been?
Did we get Dr. Novac's research?
Sorting through the data now.
Uh, grant applications, expense reports
[woman moaning]
Oh boy.
Why do I hear hanky-panky?
Um,
Nik has an assortment of spanking videos.
- It's getting hot.
- Gross.
- What? The antenna is getting really hot.
- [Barry] You're still holding on to it?
It has thousands of watts
running through it.
- Let go.
- [Luke] I can't.
The holes are too big.
If I let go, it tilts,
and it sets off the alarm,
and Emma goes to the gulag.
Let go, man.
It's starting to smell like Whoppers.
No, I'm gonna hold on to it.
That's it, and that's all.
Come on, help me pack the holes.
Hate to pile on, guys,
but we've got bigger problems.
Nik's gotta be
some kind of video game prodigy
because he just reached level seven.
You gotta stop him
before he beats level seven.
After that, the game facade ends,
and it reverts back to spy software.
What? Why?
The app takes up lots of gigs.
We only had room for a few levels.
[Aldon] Emma, listen to me.
You gotta make him
not wanna look at that game.
Shock and awe.
Shock and awe.
What's shock and awe?
- Fluff me.
- What?
That is shock and awe.
[Aldon] Oh.
[Emma] How's the game going?
It's
Great job, Emma. Just hang tight
till we figure out our next move, okay?
[Luke] Almost done?
- I can't hold on to it much longer.
- [Aldon] I got you. I got you.
[Roo] Hold on.
- [Aldon] We're packed pretty tight here.
- [Roo] Got it.
We're ready to give it a shot.
Okay, Barry, give me good news.
Connection is stable,
but we still need Dr. Novac's paper.
Nik must have a hard copy somewhere.
Probably in a safe?
[Tina] Statistically, most people
keep safes in their bedroom.
No, no. No way.
Shall we take this to the bedroom?
Yes.
How's Princess supposed to find
a hidden safe in the bedroom
with Nik in there?
[Nik grunts]
- [whimsical music plays]
- [Nik grunting]
[Nik] Yes! Yes! Yes!
- No!
- [Nik] Yes!
No! No!
[Nik] Oh yes!
Yes! Yes!
[Nik moans]
New wainscoting.
What did you say?
- I didn't say you could talk.
- Okay.
Since when do Soviet-era block buildings
get makeovers?
It's gotta be the facade for the safe.
Knock the guy out and break in.
Then if he wakes up,
he knows he's been robbed,
tells his superiors, word gets out
that Novac's handler's been ambushed,
Boro finds out,
he knows that we're onto him,
pivots, he's gone forever.
Just stay tight, sweetie, okay?
We're gonna come up with a plan.
Emma?
Emma?
Barry, is the cage up again?
No.
Um it appears Emma has removed her comms.
Communication has unilaterally been cut
just like she did in Guyana.
Why would she take out the comm?
Um
Hm
Why would Emma take out the comm?
[suspenseful music playing]
[suspenseful music continues]
[whispering] I found the safe.
Nik's out cold.
Please tell me that you poisoned him.
[suspenseful music ends]
[exhales]
The paper, I've got it.
[gun cocks]
[tense music plays]
Who do you work for?
[closing theme playing]
[closing theme ends]