Government Cheese (2025) s01e03 Episode Script

1
[people cheering, laughing]
["One Step Ahead" playing]
[Astoria] A house, two kids, maybe a dog.
No. No dog. Too messy.
[Hampton] Okay, no dog.
What else do you dream about?
I wanna own my own business.
[people cheer]
One day, you and I are gonna
have articles written about us.
"Astoria Chambers,
business owner and woman-about-town,
lists her top restaurants
in the San Fernando Valley."
- "Mrs. Chambers loves oysters
- [laughs]
even though it's like
having the sea cough in your mouth.
But it must be the key
to her success." [chuckles]
I love your laugh.
- Do you like it?
- I love it.
Boys, you each get your own room.
It's exactly what I imagined.
And it's ours.
This is our house?
This is your house.
["One Step Ahead" continues]
I love you, Hampton.
[song ends]
Who's Ronald?
Some guy she's been seeing.
He's nice.
They went to The Martini Bar
on Sherman Way.
It's half-off oyster night.
Half-off oysters at The Martini Bar
on Sherman Way.
[sighs]
- Let's say
- Your oysters.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
we win this day trip.
- Where do you think they'll send us?
- Hmm.
I hope we get to hike
and go stargazing in Joshua Tree.
- Mmm.
- Or Hearst Castle could be fun.
There's a butterfly garden nearby.
This is what I love about you.
What?
You find magic without even trying.
[muffled music playing]
[MC, muffled] Stand up, everybody.
We're on our way to the dance floor
because we are all going to the go-go.
[soul music playing]
[MC chuckles]
[Hampton] Who is this guy?
[MC cheers] Don't be shy.
Yes.
Let me get that flower print top here.
[muffled music continues]
[party guests laughing, chattering]
Oh, talk to me after I get off
at 2:00 a.m.
[muffled cheering]
[muffled music, cheering]
[door slams]
[door rattling]
"Jonah. Arise, go to Nineveh."?
[stranger] Hello?
Is someone there?
I can hear you.
- Hi.
- Hey!
I'm down here.
[groans]
- Hi.
- Hi.
What are you doing here?
[Hampton] Um
I was looking for The Martini Bar.
Their front door was locked.
Huh, that's strange.
I could go for a martini.
I like mine with an onion.
Are you okay?
If you had to assess the situation,
what would you say?
What happened?
There was a squeaking sound
coming from the vent.
I was trying to see what it was,
and my bracelet got stuck.
[groans]
Moral of the story,
don't stick your arm in a strange hole.
Can I call someone?
Believe it or not,
this isn't the first time
someone has gotten stuck in this vent.
New Years' Eve, 1967.
I can't see. I'm sorry.
[stranger groans]
[stranger] Oh, wait, please.
Could you wait with me?
Um
Okay.
[stranger sighs]
Thank you.
What's so important in The Martini Bar?
- My wife's there.
- Date night?
[scoffs] She's on a date
[sighs] with another guy named Ronald.
She's cheating on you?
That bitch.
Well, I did just get out of Chino.
And she didn't find that sexy?
Apparently not.
How much time did you get?
Three years.
What did you do?
Check fraud.
Three years for check fraud?
Well, two years for check fraud, and
time added for other assorted misdeeds.
Oh, she's not cheating on you.
She's still my wife.
If you really loved her,
you would've kept your nose clean
and gotten out in one year,
but you didn't because you're selfish.
- A coat hanger.
- What?
There's one in the powder room.
On the rack. There's
There's one on the rack
in the powder room.
If you could just go.
Uh, okay.
[groans] Thank you.
But please, come back.
Um, sure.
[muffled music continues]
Uh, here you go.
[stranger] Thank you.
Oh.
I hear you, I hear you.
[chuckles, mutters indistinctly]
No.
[stammers] I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming.
I've almost
[strains] Y
Yes! Whoo! Whoo!
[groaning]
Can you hold this?
[groaning and grunting]
I'll be back.
Hi. I'm Edith.
Uh, hi. Hampton.
[sighs]
Friend of mine has
a tattoo just like that.
Oh.
Well, this is henna.
- Maybe it's a sign.
- A sign of what?
That you should consider me a friend.
He died.
True friends are always with us.
Don't worry. He forgives you.
Why would you
How could you
know
that?
[blows] Just popped into my head.
Come on, have a drink with me.
- Uh, I can't.
- Oh, just two minutes.
- I really have to get to my wi
- Oh, please.
- I My wife. My
- Fine, three minutes.
- Okay, five minutes.
- [sighs]
[stammers] You helped free me.
According to every Aesop fable
I've ever read, I now owe you.
Please.
- No, I
- Come on.
[Hampton stammers, sighs]
I don't need anything.
Oh, you do. And I can fix you.
- Fix me?
- Yes.
I come from a long line
of spectacular women who can fix anything.
A stove, a bike, an arm.
I don't need fixing.
Your wife is with another man
and you just got out of prison.
You really need fixing.
- I'll be fine.
- But
what are you gonna say to her?
When you walk up
to your wife sitting at a table
with another man,
what are you gonna say to her?
- [speaks indistinctly] never.
- [chuckles]
I don't know.
Well, come have a seat.
I'll help you figure it out.
- So what do I say?
- Slow down.
I have a process.
Fixing people has rules.
Cheers.
[sips]
- Hmm.
- So my wife, what do I say?
[breathes deeply]
First I'm gonna need you to tell me
the most salient memory of your childhood.
What?
I don't understand how that has anything
to do with Where are you going?
[door opens]
I love red shoes. I always have.
Why, you ask?
Because we didn't have
any money growing up.
I never had anything new.
Then one day my mom came home
with these brand-new shiny red shoes.
And when I put them on,
I thought they were the most
beautiful things in the world.
So, today the most beautiful thing
to me is shiny red shoes.
Get it?
I don't know you,
but so far, you seem not all there.
What if I win your memory?
How can you win a memory?
Oh, well, follow me, kind sir.
[chuckles]
[sighs]
[muffled chattering]
[Edith] Hampton.
Come on.
- Archery?
- Archery.
It forces you to let go
of things you can't control.
Uh, I really just want to get to my wife.
Whoever hits closest
to the bull's-eye wins.
If I win, I get the memory.
- So what do I win?
- What do you want?
Nothing. I I just need to get to my wife.
And do what? Promise her you've changed?
But you've done that already.
You could punch the guy.
Technically assault.
Or you could just go home,
pretend you don't know and live a lie.
Good choice.
[sighs]
[clicks tongue]
Um
I never knew my dad.
My mom remarried when I was eight.
My step-dad was an asshole.
I had a lot of opinions
and he didn't care to hear 'em.
So he shipped me off to gladiator school.
Gladiator school?
Juvie posing as camp. Work camp.
All shovels, no s'mores.
That's awful.
You didn't have anyone to protect you.
Yeah, it was tough.
Made a lot of friends though.
Met Bootsy.
Where was your mother?
My mother, uh
She drank, smoked and cried a lot.
I was so mad at her.
It all makes sense.
Does it?
Yeah.
Try again.
[breathes deeply]
Let me fix you.
You know, you were just a kid.
You had no control over
what happened in your life.
So now you try to control everything.
Whoa.
Stop trying to control everything,
Hampton.
Let Yahweh lead for a while.
Come on. Let's go see your wife.
The bar downstairs used to be
a part of the lodge.
[muffled cheering]
[muffled music playing]
[grunts]
[grunts]
["You're All I Need" playing]
[Edith] Is that her?
She's beautiful.
I know.
I can't lose her.
We used to do everything together.
Now she can barely stand to be
in the same house as me.
You own a house?
This is our house?
This is your house.
["You're All I Need" continues]
[Edith] Does she love it? The house?
I don't know anymore.
[Hampton] She used to say
it made her feel secure.
I've just realized,
I haven't made her laugh since
[both laughing]
I love your laugh.
It's been years.
A tight smile here and there, but
We used to laugh like that.
Can you come over after?
Not tonight.
[sighs]
Hampton?
Yeah.
[sighs] Just give me some time.
["You're All I Need" continues]
[muffled music playing]
[stammers] How can I fix this?
What do I say?
Whatever you say, you have to believe it.
You have to know it's true.
That's why when you tell her,
"Everything's gonna be okay,"
she doesn't believe you
because you don't believe yourself.
Well, it's hard because I found God
when I was in prison
Oh, is that where he's been?
And I've been trying to follow him,
you know, walk in faith.
But it just feels like I'm never
gonna be good enough for Astoria.
What are you scared of?
Everything.
Losing my family,
the Prevost brothers, my drill failing.
Instead of looking at things
as right and wrong,
what if everything just is?
And once you accept
that everything that happens
was meant to happen, then you'll be free.
I want my wife back.
Then just do what you need to do
to protect her.
Um [breathes heavily]
But I
[party guest laughing]
[song resumes]
[song ends]
[engine turns off]
[grunts]
[grunting, panting]
We decided we couldn't wait two weeks.
I don't have the money.
[grunts]
[grunting and panting]
Well, let's see
what your family can scrounge up.
No!
[breathing shakily]
[car door closes]
[line ringing]
[Bootsy] Hello?
Bootsy
I'm in.
[Bootsy] I knew you'd come around, Hamp.
The temple awaits.