Haha, You Clowns (2025) s01e03 Episode Script

1
- (PERKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (PRESTON LAUGHING)
Holy cow, look at that.
Mm, sounds like
the Fourth of July!
All right, let's give Cassie
a landing strip, shall we?
Okay, we got
three spicy chicken fajitas.
You want to pass
this down to Duncan?
Careful, the skillet's are hot.
And there should be
a Monterey bourbon burger.
- Yep. Appreciate you.
- Wow.
Damn, Dad. You gonna be able
to finish all that?
Tristan's over here
calling dibs.
(ALL LAUGH)
Okay, do y'all
need anything else?
I think we're good.
- Thanks, Cassie.
- Thanks.
Appreciate you, Cassie.
Thank you.
She's a sweet girl, isn't she?
I really hope she goes back
to get that diploma.
Good call
on the restaurant, Preston.
Ooh, baby, it's spicy.
(CHUCKLING)
I'm already sweating.
Why don't you take off
your bomber jacket?
Yeah, that's probably
a good call.
Wouldn't want--
Wouldn't want to get guac
on my Tuskegee Airmen badge.
How long have you had
that bomber now, Preston?
Oh, what's it been?
I think it's been
about six years.
About six years.
God, how's it been that long?
Our future pilot.
- (SIZZLING)
- Ah! That's smart.
You okay, Duncan?
Ugh! Just burned my wrist
on the skillet.
PRESTON: Here, this should help
with the swelling.
Keep that on your wrist
for the next five minutes, okay?
- Thanks, Preston.
- Good-- Good job, Preston.
- (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (WIND WHOOSHING)
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
(BROTHERS LAUGHING)
- Casa Baja was the bomb, yo.
- (DUNCAN CHUCKLING)
Okay, you're not allowed
to ever say that
outside this house.
- (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- What? Because I'm White?
Preston, you okay?
You look as if
you've seen a ghost.
Preston, you're as white
as a sheet.
My bomber.
Wait, what?
My bomber. I don--
I don't have my bomber.
TRISTAN: Preston, Preston,
you grabbed it
at the restaurant, right?
What?
Y-- You grabbed it
at the restaurant, right?
I-- I don't remember.
- Lexi, call--
- Casa Baja.
Lexi, call Casa Baja.
- LEXI: (OVER SPEAKER)
Calling Casa Baja.
- (DIAL TONE RINGING)
Don't worry, Preston.
I'm sure it's still there.
(DIAL TONE RINGING)
They-- They deal with jackets
all the time.
EMPLOYEE: Hello, Casa Baja.
Um, hi.
We just dined with you
about 30 minutes ago.
Twenty minutes ago.
EMPLOYEE: Okay.
We think we may have
left a jacket.
- Bomber jacket.
- A bomber jacket.
Yeah.
EMPLOYEE:
Okay, let me check in the back.
Uh, gonna put you
on a brief hold.
- (WHISTLE BLOWING)
- (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪
AD VOICEOVER: Wanna cater
your next football party?
We can do that too!
Our delicious tacos,
sizzling fajitas,
- and mouth-watering nachos
- (CLOCK TICKING RAPIDLY)
will make
any game day unforgettable.
- Go, go, go, go--
- (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
EMPLOYEE:
Is it a brown jacket?
That's the one!
- Yes, let's go!
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- DUNCAN: Look at him.
- (SIGHS)
DUNCAN: That's one relieved boy
right there.
(PERKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
DUNCAN: Admit it,
you were scared for a second.
Hey, a real pilot remains calm
under pressure.
I believe you have
a brown jacket
for my brother.
Oh, we should order sopapillas.
You know we gotta
order sopapillas.
Best idea I've heard all day.
And three menus
while you're down there.
- Appreciate you.
- (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- That's not a bomber.
What's a bomber?
So sorry, I'm just gonna peek
behind your son real quick.
Those fajitas
are pretty spicy, huh?
- Dad.
- Can I help you?
Sorry, I'm ju-- I'm just looking
for my bomber.
Just move-- Does he work here?
Cassie, I'm gonna
need my bomber back, okay?
I'm sorry, your what?
Okay, let me give everyone
a quick history lesson.
The US went to war
with Germany and Japan, okay?
- (VICTORIOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- Thanks to the Wright brothers,
the skies became
the new battleground.
That meant pilots
flying bombers and
you guessed it!
Bomber jackets! World War II!
Ring any bells, Cassie?
I think you boys need to leave.
Maybe it dropped
in the parking lot, Preston.
We'll check under every car.
(SIGHS) I'm so sorry.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- CUSTOMER: Ah.
- DORY: Oh,
but they're all delicious.
Which one is your favorite?
I like the raspberry
with amino booster.
Dory!
How am I supposed to contact you
when you're on channel three?
Oh, sorry. One second.
- Switch to two, Dory.
- I thought I was on two.
What's the matter with you?
You got cobwebs up there?
Preston!
You know, you've changed
ever since you lost your jacket.
Well,
I hope you got a jacket, Dory,
'cause you just pulled
freezer duty.
I'll take it from here.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
Sorry about that.
So, the interesting thing
about all these flavors
is that
they're all amino boosters
- to some degree.
- You've changed, Preston.
Tell me that
isn't the best juniper mint
you've had
in your goddamn life.
(AMBIENT BACKGROUND
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I think you look great.
(SIGHS) The hem's all off.
World War II bombers should be
at least two to three inches
shorter than this.
This is not a proper fit.
- I mean,
you said you got your jacket
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
like, six years ago.
I fail to see
the relevance here.
Maybe you're due
for a bigger size.
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(SIGHS) I don't want
to be here anymore.
This is so stupid.
I'm so stupid.
You know, we're all just
trying to help, Preston.
- Do what?
- Can you turn down that music?
- (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
- (WHIRRING)
You've changed.
I want the old Preston back.
You see Casa Baja
has been completely gentrified?
What?
(SOMBER NOSTALGIC
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
We're takin' enemy fire.
- Crocks, at seven o'clock.
- OP, baby, I see him.
PRESTON: Light him up, Crockett.
(RAPID GUNFIRE)
(EXPLOSION)
Whoo! How do you like that?
Nice hit, Crockett.
Beer's on me tonight.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, all right,
but none of that
European pussy shit, okay?
I like my beer like I like--
Crockett! (ECHOES)
(TIRES SCREECH)
(BREATHES HEAVILY, WHISPERS)
Sorry about that.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (KNOCKING IN DOOR)
- (SIGHS) Permission to enter.
Hey, Preston,
how you holding up?
(BLOWS) I've seen better days.
Maybe this will cheer you up.
Tristan and I made
all the badges ourselves.
Oh my God. You guys.
TRISTAN: That's for kicking
our butts every year
at Dad's riveting contest.
(SIGHS) That's hilarious.
And that's for the time
you prevented our house
from flooding the next day.
(CHUCKLES)
The plunger was a good detail.
(CHUCKLES) But for real,
this home would be in shambles
without you, Preston.
Sorry I haven't
been myself lately.
Nonsense.
You'll always be our captain.
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
(BROTHERS LAUGH)
Hey, Preston,
you mind telling me
why there's two police officers
on our doorstep?
(UPBEAT TUNE PLAYING) ♪
- Here you go, officers.
- Thank you, son.
- (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
- So, as we were saying,
we typically don't
work these hours,
but due to the exceptional
nature of events,
we thought it best
to come by tonight.
I'm not sure I'm following.
Does this property
belong to you?
My bomber!
Where on earth did you find it?
(SIGHS) Well, back in September,
we had numerous reports
of items gone missing from,
uh, Casa Baja.
Casa Baja! Southside!
That's the one. (CLICKS FINGERS)
Well, it turns out a fugitive,
possibly needing
to change his appearance
the night of his escape,
had stolen these items.
To cut a long story short,
a stolen vehicle
was spotted
on the 72 this afternoon.
Our officers engaged
this particular individual
in a high-speed chase.
Yes, they talked about it
on the news this evening.
Unfortunately, as these things
sometimes go,
a shootout ensued
with our officers.
Oh my God. Was anyone hurt?
(ICE CUBES CLINKING)
None of our men.
But our suspect will most likely
never walk again.
Let this be a lesson
to you boys.
Crime doesn't pay.
Mm-hmm. Good boys.
Well, the only reason we're here
tonight with your jacket
is because you had
written your name
and address on the tag.
You'd be surprised
how few people do that
with their items.
(TENDER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
CARL: Your mother always thought
of the little things.
She was always looking
after her boys.
She still is, Dad.
I remember the day
you got this bomber.
You saw it in a store window.
- On Beale Street.
- Memphis, Tennessee.
And you took one look
at that sticker price
and said, "Fat chance."
Mm, I believe
Dad's exact words were,
- "When hell freezes over."
- (ALL LAUGH)
Afterwards, we all had lunch
at that tiny little blues joint
just down the street.
Oh my God, that trombonist.
CARL: And your mother
took it upon herself
to sneak back to that shop
and get you your bomber jacket.
Your love of aviation
took flight from that day on.
And it was no surprise
to us all.
Where there's a challenge,
you rise to the occasion
PILOT: Come on, y'all, let's go!
CARL: 'cause you aim high.
- (BLADES WHIRRING)
- CARL: You soar
above the clouds.
And you lift others up
in the process.
(DOOR BELL DINGS)
CARL: And when storms appear
on your radar,
you navigate through them.
And you remind us all
that there's sunshine
on the other end.
(BOMBER PLANE BLADES WHIRRING)
(GIGGLES)
What are you laughing about?
Everything.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
But also nothing
at the same time.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪