Long Way Home (2025) s01e03 Episode Script

1
[theme song playing]
[Ewan] Across 20 years,
and three incredible adventures,
we've traveled to some of
the farthest flung corners of the world.
This is us on the road, Charley.
This is us on the way, man.
Yet we've never properly explored
the countries on our own doorstep.
- Okay, here we go. Into Europe.
- [Charley] Let's do it.
So, we're spending
the summer riding a spectacular loop
through 17 of our closest neighbors.
[Ewan] Starting at my house in Scotland,
we'll cross over to the continent,
travel up through the Nordics,
and into the Arctic Circle,
down to the Baltics before winding our way
through the Alps and across France,
returning home about two months later.
[Charley] And we're gonna throw
caution to the wind
by doing the journey
on temperamental 50-year-old bikes
that have been given a new lease of life.
[Ewan] My bike's making a funny noise.
[bike clangs]
[Russ] Riding alongside them
on a third motorcycle
are cameramen Claudio and Max.
And the guys will also be taking
personal diary cameras.
[David] Russ and I will be following
with a small crew and two electric trucks.
Only meeting up
with the guys when necessary.
[cheering]
[Ewan] So, this summer,
Europe is our playground.
- Wow!
- [blowing]
[Ewan] And we're gonna follow our noses
and see what we find on the open road.
- [Charley] Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, shit!
- [tires screech]
You okay?
[Ewan] When I felt the bike go, I thought,
"I've got this, I've got this."
And then I didn't.
[Charley] Okay, yeah.
[Ewan] I think I saw the curb
and I just felt like I could pop up on it.
I could see fuel on the road, glass
I could hear the glass break
when it broke.
[Charley] You okay?
[Ewan] I just was on the ground suddenly.
Just such a horrible feeling, isn't it?
[Charley] As I saw that crash happening,
I'm thinking, "Oh, my god.
Please don't let anything be broken.
Please, for his sake."
So all these things were
flashing in my mind.
[Ewan] I felt it on my hip. I think
I might be a bit bruised there later.
[Charley] Yeah.
[Ewan] It doesn't look like a raise.
It just looked like a flat edge.
Just annoying.
Oh, look.
Should we just pop into that garage?
Oh, what a day we've had.
I didn't see that curb.
- It looked like it was flat to me.
- [Charley] Yeah.
Otherwise,
I would have never popped up there.
- [Charley] You see
- Or I would've slowed down much more.
I just lost control.
Just started wobbling like that and
[blows raspberry]
[Charley] It's just like being stuck
in a rut, you know?
- Yeah.
- It's exactly a rut situation.
- Oh Oh.
- [Ewan] Had a little, uh
A little crash.
- Had a little spill.
- [Charley] Little tumble.
- Oh, man. Oh, okay. Are you okay?
- [Ewan] Yeah.
- Yeah. No, I'm fine.
- You seem good.
[Ewan] So how come that's bent.
[Charley] Maybe your foot or something.
- Oh, maybe.
- [Charley] Maybe, I don't know.
- [Russ] Mate, you all right?
- I'm fine. Yeah, yeah.
- No, I'm good.
- Oh, man.
- That's horrible.
- It was horrible.
Horrible 'cause I dinged up my bike.
That's the horrible thing.
- But are you are you physically okay?
- [Ewan] Yeah, yeah.
Just riding along, and I was like,
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
Then I was on the ground
and then I was like, "Ah, Jesus."
And then immediately I just thought,
"Oh, no. I've killed my bike." You know?
I thought maybe that's the end
of the trip on this bike.
[groans]
Just annoyed.
["Feel It in Your Soul" playing]
[Ewan] Oh, dear. It's such a bad feeling
when you crash a bike.
Just feel so stupid.
It's like, uh, instant regret.
Oh, there you are.
[Charley] I was super impressed with Ewan.
He just back on his bike and carried on.
And pretty lucky as you get.
[music continues]
[music ends]
[Ewan] A week ago,
we left my home in Scotland
and now we're in Southern Denmark
about to cross into
Europe's biggest peninsula,
Scandinavia.
We're heading up through Sweden,
into Norway
and hopefully getting some camping done
in amongst the fjords.
[Ewan] I think I just wanna point my bike
in a direction and see what happens.
It reminds me of what is was like
to be a boy, I think.
When we would go out on our bicycles,
and I loved that.
There's this freedom and, uh, fun
that we don't experience very often.
[Charley] Before we leave Denmark,
we're making our way
to the outskirts of Copenhagen.
[Ewan] We're gonna visit
our friends at UNICEF
'cause they have their largest
distribution center in the world here.
[Charley] Both Ewan and I are
UNICEF ambassadors and very proud to be.
[Ewan] UNICEF has been an important part
of my life since we did Long Way Round.
For the last 20 years,
I've been all over the world,
visited projects that UNICEF support.
- Hola.
- Hola.
Hola.
Welcome to the largest
humanitarian warehouse in the world.
[Ewan] So we're right next
to the port here.
[Gisela] Yeah. We a part
of a tax-free environment.
- [Ewan] I see.
- [Gisela] So the goods come here,
they don't go into Europe,
they go straight into the warehouse.
And from the warehouse,
they go to all over the world.
[Ewan] Everything that we've seen
around the world
all the big boxes,
comes through this huge center.
- [Charley] Oh, my. Holy
- [Ewan exclaims]
This is unbelievable.
- Look at the size of it. Oh, wow.
- [Charley] Look how far down it goes.
[Gisela] We need to be ready
when an emergency hits
- to ship the supplies for children.
- [Ewan] Yeah, yeah.
[Charley] It's amazing
what you guys do here. And the scale
All of this is a gift
from the government of Denmark.
This whole warehouse,
with all the robots, the technology,
- everything that you're seeing.
- That's really amazing.
I love watching the robots.
It's something very strange
by watching them work.
[Gisela]
Watch out for the forklifts, yeah?
- [Ewan vocalizing]
- [Charley chuckles]
- Wow, look at that.
- [laughs]
- [Charley] Such ballet.
- [Ewan] That's nice.
[worker] So this is the packing line
that you are seeing here.
Today we can try to pack
some of the components
of the early childhood development kits.
The wooden toys and the notebooks.
- And this goes
- [worker 2] Right there.
- There.
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Just like that.
[Charley] It's just that it's funny to see
where it all actually comes from.
It's very cool.
Don't stop. Keep it going.
I'm suited to repetition, you know?
- I can do it.
- [worker 2] Yeah?
I could do it for hours.
I'd be very happy.
[Charley chuckles]
What I love about this one here,
it does 40 students.
- So 40 children will get schooling.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're amazing.
[worker 3] Right there.
It's just like a motor bike. That's down.
Okay. We're used to this being fast.
And that being slow.
- No up and down.
- [Isaac] Yeah.
- [exclaims] That one was a win, mate.
- Oh, that one went a bit quick.
- You got it, yeah.
- Well done.
- Okay.
- Thank you very much.
[chattering]
- [Ewan] Fantastic. Yes.
- [Charley] Oh, well done, guys.
[Ewan] It's one of the proudest things
I've ever had in my life
is being associated with UNICEF.
To see the other end of it,
that huge warehouse was extraordinary.
Wow, it blew my mind.
[Charley] We going all the way around
this roundabout, Ewan?
[Ewan] Yeah.
The center stand was dragging
into the ground on the roundabout.
[Charley] I think that accident has done
more damage than we thought.
- You had mentioned about your
- [Ewan] Oh, yes. This side.
- [Charley] The stand. Yeah, I can see.
- This side.
Maybe the thing that you put your foot on
has bent up a little bit.
Maybe that's what's stopping it.
[Ewan] I think we need to put it
on the center stand
- and then torque the bike to the left.
- [Charley] Oh, I see. Yeah.
[Ewan] Denmark and Sweden are joined
by the Øresund Bridge,
which is a whopping five miles long.
[Charley]
We're about to go over the bridge.
[Ewan] That is the bridge
from the series The Bridge.
["Hollow Talk" playing]
[Ewan] Here's the music, come along!
Here's the bridge up here.
- [Ewan vocalizing]
- [music continues]
- Charley!
- [Charley] That's amazing, isn't it?
[Ewan] Whoo-hoo!
So I guess the border is in the middle
of these two pylons, right?
Uh, Denmark is the first pillar
and Sweden is the second one.
Goes back to the beginning ♪
[Charley] Welcome to Sweden.
[Ewan] Hello, Sweden.
Whoo-hoo!
[music continues]
[Charley] We've heard of
this local motorcycle club.
Hopefully these guys will be able
to help fix Ewan's bike.
How was the trip over the bridge?
Coming over the bridge,
singing the song [vocalizes]
- So good.
- [chattering, chuckling]
- Is it yours?
- [club member] It's mine.
What is this, the 350?
- No, it's a Moto Guzzi Nevada from '96.
- Okay.
- It's a 750. Yeah.
- 750? Oh, wow.
- God, It looks like the little one.
- But I just recently remodeled it.
Well, you've done it.
You nailed it. It's brilliant.
- Looks great.
- Love the color of the petrol.
- Thank you.
- [Charley] Wow.
[Ewan] This bike is my everything.
It's the only way for me to get through
this trip is on this motorbike.
- Two or three issues.
- [mechanic] Yeah?
I smashed this light and it pushed
this bracket slightly back.
- So you can see it's slightly bent back.
- Yeah. If you just maybe take
- a rod, and just try to Yeah.
- Yeah. Pull it back?
Got it? [strains]
Oh, hang on. One, two, three. There.
[Charley] There's
nothing small about this bike.
- You know? [chuckles]
- [laughs]
- Should I do it?
- [Ewan] Do it. Go on.
- [all chuckle]
- If I break it, I won't buy it.
[Ewan] Give it a clout. Yeah, that's good.
I'd say that's it.
- One more for good luck.
- [Magnus] Yeah, one more.
It feels better. It works.
- Good.
- [all chuckling]
Thanks. And the only other thing is,
do you have some air for my back tire?
- Yeah, of course.
- That's it.
[Charley]
I love what these guys are doing.
If anybody has a problem,
they help each other out.
[mechanic] Awesome, thank you.
You need to sign the wall here
as well, Ewan.
They all have a place to be. They go
on rides, they go on adventures together.
Same as horse riding or cycling
or whatever it is.
So people, they usually do it together
'cause of friendship.
And that's what's so nice
about the biking community.
It's the same of all those
at any community, really.
Sharing something that you all love to do.
["Floating in the Afterglow" playing]
- [Charley] That was fun.
- [Ewan] Yeah, really nice.
[Charley] I have to say,
Sweden is just beautiful.
Nice going through peoples' farmyards.
It's really pretty.
[Ewan] Now we've got my bike fixed up,
I think we should spend a bit of time
getting ourselves fixed up.
[Charley] We're going into the woods.
And to get naked.
I'm promised it's a Swedish tradition.
[Ewan] Oh, look at this.
- I'm Ewan.
- I'm Camilla.
[Ewan] Nice to meet you, Camilla.
- This is Charley.
- Charley. Hi.
So we have this tradition here,
so we have this large kettle of water.
- You can also mix one of the scrubs
- Okay.
and then you can go out
in the forest and stand naked there.
[Charley] Mmm.
[Camilla]
So this is fresh birch tree leaves.
So you just take, like, a pinch of this.
Uh, the same amount of sugar
and then you have
- the same amount of oil.
- [Ewan] Okay.
So you don't really need any soap
if you have the birch tree.
- No?
- Okay.
- [Ewan] Okay, here we go.
- [Charley] Do a bit of a grind.
[Ewan] Here, you do the sugar.
[Camilla] Mix nicely.
- [Charley] Good action.
- [Ewan] Thanks, man.
- It's all in the wrist, innit?
- [Charley] In the wrist, yeah.
Once we finish this, we'll turn blue
and with these hats we look like Smurfs.
[laughs]
- [Charley] Same amount of oil.
- [Ewan] We made it very nice.
So we use this in here.
- No, outdoors.
- No. Outdoors.
Inside is the soap.
Oh, inside is soap. Okay, I knew that.
- Perfect. Yes.
- I was just making sure you knew.
That's for That's for Charley
to put his genitals in a little bag.
- Genital. [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Oh, yeah. Genital.
This is really hot.
In here I'll wash my body
with some spine soap.
I don't think you get
to watch that bit, Claudio.
- [Claudio laughs]
- [Ewan] That's private.
[Charley] Your fans are gonna be
so disappointed in you.
[sizzles]
[sizzles]
That's not a tick, is it? There.
[inhales sharply]
No.
- [Charley] Oh.
- [groans]
[both laughing]
- Ow. It's really sharp as well.
- Ow. I'm really stupid.
[Charley] Why is it so low?
[both muttering, laughing]
Let's have a look at it.
See if there's a mark.
- Ooh. Ah, yeah. Looks like a little mark.
- A little egg coming up.
[Charley humming]
So we're doing the
the cold-water plunge now.
[yelps, blows]
[groans]
[yelps]
[whimpering]
- [panting]
- Okay. One more?
One more, one more. That's Okay.
Okay, that's plenty.
[breathing heavily]
[gasps]
- Okay. Okay.
- Very good.
Okay, Claudio, I'd like to ask just
for a little mod
Are you going to Are you waist to up?
- [Claudio laughs]
- Are you above the waist here?
- [Claudio] Yes.
- [Charley] Yes. I'll make sure.
[Ewan] Oh, no.
[Charley] Basically, we're rubbing
sugar and oil on our body.
[Ewan] Now
Simply not coming off.
[laughing]
Totally not coming off.
- Okay, right. So, what-what's next?
- [Ewan chuckles]
[Charley grunting]
- I'm just coming. Hold on one sec.
- No, Charley.
[grunts]
- Totally doesn't come off. Look.
- [Charley mutters]
I'm suddenly feeling quite naked.
[both chuckle]
- You are naked, that's why.
- [Charley] Oh, God.
[chuckles, mutters]
[Ewan] We just left the, um, sauna.
It was very fun and just scrub-a-dub-dub.
[Charley] Manly. I think we were
quite manly about the whole thing.
[Ewan laughs]
[Charley] That was great.
I feel so much better.
But I am starving.
[Ewan] Oh, yeah.
This is awesome. [chuckles]
[Charley] Come and help yourselves, guys.
[food sizzling]
It's funny, we so often don't really know
what we're turning up to.
And what we were told about this place was
that it was sort of quirky place to stay.
[chuckles] It's really awesome.
[chef speaking Swedish]
- [chattering]
- [in English] We'll do a little taste.
- Mmm.
- [chef] Tastes good?
- Got it?
- Perfect.
[people chattering]
[rooster crows]
- Hey, man.
- [Ewan] Hey, man.
- How are you.
- Good. You?
- Get back to work.
- You brewing more coffee?
[Charley] That last brew was,
like, three o'clock.
- [Ewan] 3:30.
- [Charley mutters]
[Ewan] Well, I've got my big paper map.
We could get the map outside
on that table.
There it is, the map pad.
[Ewan] Claudio. Morning, how are you?
Today's, uh
- [Claudio] 150?
- It's not that much today.
So we're up
We're somewhere up, uh, up around here.
Hamp Halmstad.
- I think we're about there.
- [Claudio] Mm-hmm.
[Ewan] And today we gotta go up
through Gothenburg to up to about here.
And then there's some coastal stuff
where we meet the lady.
The seaweed lady and the singer, I think.
[engines starts]
[Charley] I think we go up that way,
I think.
[Ewan] You'd think we might get
a bit of sunshine in June,
but this weather is awful.
[Charley] Pretty brutal by the forecast
for the next number of days.
[Ewan] You experience the elements
in a real way on a bike.
[Charley] Probably the worst
wet day we've had.
It's just pummeling down.
Do you wanna stop?
[Ewan] Okay, let's find a coffee
coffee place.
[Charley] Okily dokily.
- What's that place?
- [Ewan] Should we have a go?
[Charley] Yeah. Looks like a coffee place.
Please have coffee.
[Ewan] Looks like an ice cream place,
last thing we need.
- There's no coffee.
- [Charley] No, no coffee.
[Ewan] Strawberries.
Mmm.
Very nice. Is that your Volvo?
Wow, it's low.
So it had just come back into fashion?
Yeah, they are popular
among the young ones.
- [Charley] Yeah.
- [indistinct]
- [indistinct]
- [vender] Yeah.
[Charley] And what does that mean?
Does that mean you're a learner driver?
[vender] Yeah, it goes really slow.
- Thirty kilometers an hour.
- [Charley] Uh-huh.
- Thirty kilometers an hour?
- [vender] Yeah.
[Charley] Oh, I see.
And how old are you?
- Uh, 17.
- Seventeen.
But you can start to drive
when you are 15.
- When you're 15?
- Yeah.
How come it only does
30 kilometers an hour?
Because you can take a license for it
when you are 15.
Oh, and then the engine's
restricted or something.
- Yeah.
- [Charley] It has a little box on it.
- Yeah. Yeah, a little box in the front.
- [Charley] To stop you.
Oh, there's speakers.
Look at the size of your speakers.
Oh, so you can only take one person.
So you're not allowed to have
anybody in the back?
- [Hugo] Yeah.
- [engine running]
Oh, wow!
Look at this.
- [Hugo strains]
- [Charley chuckles]
[Swedish pop music plays]
I can feel it in my whole body.
- Just be careful.
- [Charley] Be careful with your ears.
You wanna have hearing after 22.
It's useful.
- Huh? What?
- [Ewan] What did you say?
[Swedish pop music continues]
Here's two of these, uh,
teenager-y guys. Look.
And they all have these huge stickers
on the back.
Whoo-hoo!
So cool.
Surprisingly, Sweden has the most islands
of any country in the world.
And people's live here
are intertwined with the sea.
We're heading up to a fishing village
on the west coast.
[Ewan] So we're gonna meet this lady who,
uh, forages from the sea.
And she collects different kinds
of seaweed and
[stammers] makes meals out of them.
Hopefully it's stopped raining now
or it's gonna dry up, I hope.
[Ewan] I just get such a lot of pleasure
out of seeing the different landscapes
and being in them.
And then the other side of that
is the people who live there
and the people you would
never otherwise meet, you know.
[Charley] I think she's out here, I think.
There she is. Oh, lovely.
- [Ewan] This is beautiful.
- [Charley] Oh, wow. This is stunning.
- I can see why you like it so much here.
- Yeah.
I-I love the
It's a very nice, uh, archipelago here.
It's so narrow and so, uh, sheltered.
- And we don't have any tiding water
- [Ewan] Oh, wow.
and no strong cu currents.
I was thinking that we can look
at some seaweed
- and forage a little.
- [Charley] Okay.
It contains a lot of trace elements
and antioxidants, uh
- Is that right?
- [Linnéa] Yes, it is.
And, uh, after that we can cook.
- So
- Do you cook only with seaweed?
- Uh, well no. [chuckles]
- No. No, no, no, no.
No, I don't.
- [inhales sharply, stammers]
- Seaweed salad.
- Seaweed salad. Yeah.
- I like a seaweed salad.
[Ewan] Okay, here we go.
[Linnéa] The water is about
15 or 16 degrees.
- Oh.
- Ooh [chuckles]
[inhales sharply]
[Linnéa] So here we have rockweed.
You can eat the tips of it.
Okay. Can you eat them raw? Like just now?
Yeah, you can eat raw.
Let me try it.
Tastes like the sea.
This is a saw wrack.
Anti-everything.
Anti-aging, anti-inflammatory.
Ooh, I like the anti-aging.
This is gutweed. [sniffles]
And, uh, you will eat with, uh, plate raw.
So we're going to do that with cod.
[Ewan] Where should we leave
our wet things? Here in front?
- Here? Okay.
- [Linnéa] Maybe you can hang it here.
Okay.
[Linnéa] I think we'll cook inside.
- Yes. Yes, definitely not outside.
- Not outside.
- I don't think outside is is
- [Linnéa] No.
- it's not quite the place to be.
- [Ewan] No.
[whistles] That's nice.
I used to be a librarian.
And librarians are very good
with learning things by themselves.
- [Ewan] Mm-hmm.
- [chuckles, inhales sharply]
- [Ewan] You're a librarian mermaid.
- Yeah.
- Very nice. Yeah, that is beautiful.
- That's a beautiful word.
- [Charley] Love fish.
- Mmm.
- Well, I like all food. Anything really.
- Uh, me too.
- [chuckles]
- [Linnéa] Mmm.
W-What's the most, uh,
strange thing that you have eaten?
- In Mongolia we ate sheep testicles.
- [Linnéa gasps]
[chuckles]
[chef] Would you like to eat nuts?
Nuts?
Oh, my Lord.
[Charley] And, uh, that was boiled in a
in a big cauldron of 200 of them.
- [Ewan] I ate mine.
- You-You ate yours.
- I-I didn't manage to finish mine.
- Oh.
It went in, it came back.
- Oh.
- Mine were nearly came back, yeah.
[both chuckle]
[Charley] I'm looking forward to
tonight's entertainment.
[Linnéa]
The musicians should be here soon.
[cutlery clattering]
[Linnéa] Everything needs
to be ready at the same time.
The fish and the the seaweed
and nothing will get burned.
This will be a light meal but, um,
it will be good.
This is mine.
You can have the salad.
[chuckles]
[dog barking]
- Hello. Heya.
- [musician] Hello. Hello.
I'm Ewan.
- Felicia. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Sorry. Nice to see you. Pleasure.
- Nice to meet you.
- Do you live in the van?
Yeah, we start our van adventure now
- for the summer.
- [Ewan] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Where are going to go? Do you know?
[Felicia] A little bit everywhere.
We're on a spontaneous
mus musical adventure.
- [Charley] Mm-hmm.
- Like a
Yeah, play wherever we go, kind of.
- That's nice.
- [Felicia] Yeah.
[Charley] We've had the odd spontaneous
adventure ourselves.
[Ewan] Are you hungry?
- [Felicia] Yes.
- Here look, we just we just made these.
[Felicia] Ooh. [chuckles]
- [Ewan] You come from Costa Rica?
- [Daniel] Yeah.
- Oh, really?
- Costa Rica? Ah.
And this is your first day in Sweden.
- [Linnéa] Ah.
- Your first day in Sweden?
- Wow. Oh, my God.
- [Ewan] That's so funny.
- Oh, wow.
- [Ewan chuckles]
- Holy moly.
- [Ewan] It's like this everyday.
[Charley] Because you guys have had some
food, you're gonna have to play for us,
- as they say.
- Yeah, for everyone.
[Charley] How lovely.
[singing in Swedish]
[Charley] That is powerful.
- [gasps] Wow.
- [Felicia chuckles]
- You sing it beautifully. Lovely voice.
- Absolutely beautiful.
[Charley] Ewan's extremely musical.
Me and my wife play ukuleles
for my son a lot.
[playing "Tonight You Belong to Me"]
I know, I know ♪
You belong ♪
To somebody new ♪
But tonight ♪
You belong to me ♪
- [Daniel] Ooh. You did good.
- [Ewan chuckles]
- [Ewan] Very nice.
- [Charley] Ooh. That was lovely, Ewan.
- [Ewan] Thank you.
- [Charley] It was lovely.
[Charley] It was delicious food.
She was so nice.
I-I really, really enjoyed her company.
And an amazing cook.
This couple came, one guy from Costa Rica,
he was really nice and and she was local.
And they sang a couple of songs for us.
They sang for their supper.
They sang [stutters]
perfect beautiful songs.
And Ewan got the little ukulele out
and and sang a really wonderful song.
Really, really ni He's so talented
and I love his voice.
[Ewan] Good morning.
Good morning, everyone.
Had a bit of a homesick day yesterday,
missing my girls
and Mary and my old man.
This morning I woke up
I thought I was on a boat.
[sniffs] I couldn't remember
where we were going or
why I was on this boat.
Anyway, we're not on a boat.
So we're in this area here.
And so today we're gonna cross up
in to Norway.
Go up, then cross over here,
I think south of Oslo.
- I've owned this bike for about 12 years.
- [clanging]
And I just have learned
by doing this trip,
to look after it better.
I'm removing my center stand aid,
because every time I go 'round
a left-hand corner,
I'm sort of dragging the center stand
on the just on the roundabout.
But it's a not a nice feeling,
so I I'm just taking it off.
[Charley] And I'm really helping out here.
- Charley's helping. He is
- I don't think he could do it without me.
[mutters]
- [Ewan] He's moral support.
- Moral support.
[Ewan] Oh, hang on. Hang on.
[clattering]
Hang on.
Just give it a wiggle, mate.
Give it a wiggle.
- Yeah, yeah.
- [groans]
- [groans]
- Your fingers okay?
Yep.
Oh, yes. Well done.
[Charley] Okay. [grunts] Ow.
- [Ewan] Ooh, shit. You okay?
- Yeah.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Probably, um, taken about three kilos
off the bike, yeah.
- Thank you, Charley.
- Pleasure.
Father's Day today.
Mary drew that of Laurie,
which is rather nice to look at.
My little boy who I miss like crazy.
The girls who I miss like crazy.
- Father's Day today.
- I know.
- [Ewan] Oh, wow, look at that bridge.
- [Charley] Double, double bridging.
- [chuckles]
- [Ewan] It's so beautiful.
[Charley sighs] We're heading up
to Norway for a bit of adventure.
[Ewan] I'm up for it which is nice.
[Charley] Norway is the seventh country
on our trip.
And the port of Horten is where the
Norwegians built a lot of their warships.
[Ewan] Let's go see some submarines.
[Charley] Here is the submarine.
I think we should just park it
right in front of it.
I sailed from '77 to '85. Eight years.
- I've been Captain for four of them.
- Oh, wow.
- [Ewan] Wow, okay. During the Cold War?
- [Jorgen] Yeah.
[Ewan] This submarine has seen
active service in the North,
where Norway shares a border with Russia
in the Barents Sea.
An area of water that's
still heavily patrolled to this day.
[Jorgen] So, this this door, of course,
is added on.
[Ewan] Okay.
Wow. This smells like an old Lancaster
or something.
- It smells like an old war plane.
- [chuckles]
- [Jorgen] Yeah. So
- [Ewan] Yeah. Oh, wow.
Periscope, of course.
- I'm seeing Richard Harris.
- [Jorgen chuckles]
[Charley] Oh, yeah.
"No one hates"
No, no, that's Jack Hawkins.
- "No one hates this war more than I do."
- "More than I do."
Oh, it would be easy to bang your no
[groans] just done it three times.
Down periscope.
[Jorgen] Batteries.
Ninety tons. Lead acid.
- [Ewan] Ninety tons?
- [Jorgen] Ninety tons.
- Is it the whole length of the submarine?
- Yeah. Basically, yes.
[Ewan] And it's done electric
so that it's silent?
[Jorgen] The important thing
is to maintain the silence.
You can hear all the other boats
[imitates ping]
and then [imitates pinging]
when they come closer.
- [Charley] Like in the movies.
- [Jorgen] Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
[Ewan] Yeah, you talked to us
about patrolling near Russia.
Is that something that's
still happening today with
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
The Russians need to, let's say,
to make sure that they have control in
in what they see as their backyard.
And this backyard is where
actively where we are patrolling
- it's it's their backyard and it's our
- [Ewan] Yeah.
- it's our front yard. [chuckles]
- [Ewan] Right.
[Jorgen] Torpedo room.
So this would be to launch agents.
- [clicks tongue] Oh.
- Oh.
- They would crawl in there?
- They would crawl in. Two or three guys.
- [chuckles]
- [Ewan blows]
And we would fill it up
Fill the tube up with water,
get the pressure even and open the
[stammers] the front hatch
and they would swim out
and do-do-do their thing.
[Ewan] Can I?
Oh, no way.
[Jorgen] Should we take him out
and put you in?
- No, sir. No. No.
- [Jorgen, Charley chuckles]
- That is not acceptable.
- [Charley blows]
[Ewan] You'd have to lie in there
while it filled up with water?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- In the dark.
- In the dark.
- [groans]
[Charley] I tell you, I just slowly just
started to get a little kind of, you know
- [Ewan] Claustrophobic in there? Yeah.
- Yeah, a little bit.
- [Charley] Take us home, Captain.
- [Ewan whistles]
[Ewan] I got a splinter in my bum.
Do you want me to have a look? [chuckles]
- We'll do it later.
- Maybe in the tent later.
- With the tweezers.
- [chuckles]
After our tick check.
- After our tick check, yeah. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
Tick checks are important.
- Nothing's not a laughing matter.
- Nothing.
- Same as testicle checks.
- Yeah.
You should always well,
you should, shouldn't you?
- Check your testicles. Yeah.
- 100% you should.
[Ewan] There's something
very familiar about Norway.
It feels like Scotland.
[Charley] We're gonna see
if we can camp here.
Ewan absolutely loves camping.
[Ewan] Not the actual act of camping,
but just the freedom
that it gives you, I like a lot.
[Charley] I'm the one
that's most reluctant camper.
Let's go this way.
Oh. Sorry.
Gonna go that way
'cause that's the pointy end.
Max, before that goes up,
will you just hold my tent?
[Charley] I need that little bit of
encouragement more than than Ewan does.
[grunts] So Okay, yeah.
- Claudio.
- [groans]
[Charley] When you're camping,
wet and cold is difficult.
It's my pillow for my weary head.
There we go. That's it.
I'm ready.
- So there's posh pork and beans.
- [pot boiling]
Orzo pasta bolognese.
"Seal and leave stand for 15 minutes.
Stir again. Enjoy."
Okay.
[phone ringing]
[Charley] That's my agent
trying to chase me down, Ewan.
- [Ewan] Yeah. Yeah.
- I'm not around. Okay?
[ringing continues]
[Ewan] Okay, everyone just relax.
[blows]
[strains] Just relax.
Now
There we go. Look.
[ringing continues]
[Charley] Hey, Anouk!
How are you? [chuckles]
[Anouk speaks indistinctly]
A very good daughter phoning to say
- [both] Happy Father's Day.
- [Ewan] Ooh, my love.
We're having such a nice time
on the trip, you know.
My wife, um, slipped these in my pannier.
It's Father's Day today.
"For your favorite oldest
and youngest daughters.
We miss you lots and hope
you are having the most amazing time.
Can't wait for you to get back.
Love you, miss you. Come home safely.
Love Kinvara and Doone."
Oh, my water's boiling already.
- Look at that, Charley.
- [Charley] Yeah.
- [Charley] With your little billycan.
- [Ewan] Didn't take long.
Anyway, we're making dinner.
Will you call me when you get to
Where you going? Where are you going?
- Oh, shit! My water just fell over. No!
- Oh, no.
- [Charley chuckling] No.
- I just spilled my all my boiling water.
Oh, no, look.
[Charley] Oh, no!
I'll call you back. Okay, Anouk.
- [Anouk] Okay.
- I love you.
That was so annoying.
Okay, I'll do some more.
I better start again.
- Have we got more water here?
- [Charley] Yeah.
- [can hisses]
- How many bottles did you put in?
Oh, I just think this is
I think this is sparking lemon juice.
Here, look. You bought it.
Go [groans]
Oh, yeah.
[Ewan] Our first night in Norway
and look where we are.
We are in paradise.
The sky here was, um, blue skies earlier,
so that's sort of coming our way,
that weather.
And those you can see over the hills here,
it's not looking too
not looking too rosy.
But, oh, my God, what a spot.
[thunder rumbling]
[rain pattering]
[Charley]
So, it's one o'clock in the morning.
It's raining quite hard.
[rain continues]
It's very noisy.
[snoring]
I can hear some snoring next door.
[chuckles]
Try and get some sleep.
[snoring continues]
[engine whining]
[sputters, stalls]
[Charley] Ooh, that's close.
[Ewan] That's the starter motor.
And sometimes they get just get stuck
and you have to hit it with a hammer
or a stone.
Of course, yeah.
Hey, do you wanna do you wanna hit it?
And then, uh, I can do the starter.
- [Charley] You ready?
- [Ewan] Yeah.
[engine whining]
[engine sputters, starts]
[revving]
[Ewan] I think when the times are hard
with Charley and I,
we really are there for one another.
Ah, she's alive! She's alive!
[Ewan] These bikes are amazing.
They're just mechanical.
You can fix anything on them.
[Charley] It sounds like a bag of bones.
It sounds like, "I am not happy today.
I don't like the camping.
I wanna go to a hotel."
[Ewan] It's a bit comedic,
the Scandinavian summer holiday.
It's almost like a running joke now
that we're about to go and
cue the rain.
We're gonna make our way up
into the Norwegian mountains.
To what we've been told is epic scenery.
[Charley] Wow, that river is big.
The amount of water in that.
We've got about 130 miles
of wild mountainous roads ahead of us.
To get to the isolated village
of Lysebotn.
[Charley] Until this road was built
about 40 years ago,
the only way you could get there
was by boat.
[Charley] It's just like Scotland
but with a little bit of amperage.
[Ewan] How dare you.
[Charley chuckles]
As I said it I didn't mean it. It was
- [stammers]
- Suggesting that Scotland needs ampt.
- Anyways.
- I-I was just I was just overexcited.
[Ewan] It's absolutely beautiful.
We're up quite high and it's quite chilly.
[Charley] Ooh. Look at this.
[Ewan] Very pretty. Very beautiful.
[Charley] This is it. This is why we came.
Twenty-seven hairpins.
[Ewan] Ooh, boy. Here we go.
[upbeat music playing]
[Charley chuckles]
Scary on these tires.
Oh, I love it when the roads get twisty.
- [Ewan] Oh, yes.
- Whoo!
[Charley] All right!
[Ewan] Glad I don't have
that center stand anymore.
So beautiful.
[Ewan] I know this
is an amazing spot for bikers,
but I also hear it's a popular spot
for adrenaline junkies too, Charley.
Now you can see where they jump from.
Look, up there.
[Charley groans]
God. Gives me the heebie-jeebies.
[Charley] So, apparently a guy in a
wingsuit is about to jump off that cliff,
fly through the air and smash through
that polystyrene sign.
[diver] Jumping in 30 seconds.
[crew] Jumping in 30 seconds. All right.
[crew chattering]
[crew 2] Get ready to jump.
- Do you see him on the edge?
- Yeah. Yeah.
[Ewan] I wish I'd brought my glasses.
Where is he?
- [stammers] Is he right at the top?
- [Charley] No, yeah.
- You didn't see him?
- I just said that I did.
- Charley, don't
- [chuckles]
Is he wearing dark blue?
[chuckling] No. I have no idea.
- [crew member] All right guys. Showtime!
- Okay.
Three, two, one.
[Charley] Oh, there he goes. Oh, my God.
- I've lost him. Oh, there he is.
- [Ewan] There.
- It's unreal, isn't it?
- Oh.
He's coming right for us, Ewan.
[wingsuit whining]
- Oh. [chuckles]
- [crew chuckling]
[upbeat music playing]
Wow!
- The accuracy of that.
- [chuckles]
[diver exclaims]
That was awesome! [chuckles]
- [applauding]
- Whoo!
- Whoo. Oh, my God.
- Oh, my gosh.
It's really like watching humans fly.
- Wow! That was over in a flash. I mean
- That was really amazing. Yeah.
Oh, my God.
[Charley] Do you still get nervous
stepping off?
Every single time, I'm fearful.
Yes. And I use the fear to be sharp,
to be awake.
The adren Adrenaline keeps me, like,
focused on what I need to do.
So, I There's target there,
I need to smash this target.
[Charley] It was quite extraordinary.
You could've put your hand up
and touched him, he was that close.
[Ewan] A human being flying towards us.
It was insane.
My brain couldn't quite figure it out.
[Charley] We don't have to
go back up the mountain.
The best way to join the road again,
is by ferry.
Then we can carry on
into the wilds of northern Norway.
Our first fjord boat trip.
- It's gonna be cool days.
- [Ewan] Yeah, it'll be great.
[Russ] Just over a year ago,
you had the idea of this route, Ewan.
And now you're doing it.
It was a red line on a map.
[Ewan] Absolutely spectacular scenery.
I've never been in a boat trip like it.
I really get a lot out of
seeing how beautiful the world is.
And feeling like it belonged to us.
Like we were part of it
and we had a right to be there.
[engine whining]
[engine whines, sputters]
[crew member] Do you think
you got a problem, Charley?
[engine whines, sputters]
Come on, baby!
[engine rattles]
[Ewan] The bike did get
very wet yesterday.
[engine starts]
[Ewan] Here we go, guys. It's snowing.
Oh, it's really snowing!
- [Charley] All we need.
- [chuckles]
[Ewan] My arse is so numb.
[Charley] I mean, come on, Norway!
[groans]
[Charley] Every kind of weather
under the sun.
Well, happy Midsummer, Charley.
- Happy Midsummer to you.
- [Ewan] Thanks, man.
Oh. Oh, oh, oh.
You all right, Charley?