Lucky Luke (2026) s01e03 Episode Script

1
[amusing instrumental music playing]
IN HOMAGE TO
MORRIS AND GOSCINNY
[typing]
PUEBLO DE SANTA MEMORIA
23 INHABITANTS 17 GOATS 3 DUCKS
[Louise] Wasn't there a woman with them?
There was no woman.
There was just the four Daltons.
And they were armed to the teeth.
They shot up my wall.
[gun firing]
You sure it wasn't three of them?
It's the Daltons,
there's four of them, not three.
No, that was Averell.
There's Jack, or William.
That was William, or Jack. I never know.
There.
[gun fires]
- Joe.
- No.
- You.
- How--
[whooshing, typing]
- Me? What do you mean?
- The bullet caliber.
It's different from the other ones,
but it's the same
as the one you got there.
Insurance scam?
[sighs] Sorry, Mr. Luke,
but for the Dalton clause to work,
you need all four.
Yeah, to get the insurance reimbursement,
I went all out.
The big one ate a box of soap,
the whole thing.
Mango, olive oil, the most expensive one.
Who does that?
Averell.
It's weird that Joe wasn't with them.
Maybe he kept my mom in the hideout?
No. He'd never let his brothers act alone.
He's in charge. The meanest one.
The smartest one, too.
Which way did they go?
[grocer] North.
But don't tell them I told you, okay?
[crickets chirping]
- [crickets chirping]
- [bird screeches]
- We gotta be closer to spot Joe.
- Okay, we'll cover you.
[tuts] Stay here.
Cover me from right here.
The way he [tuts]
Am I his horse or what?
I feel like he's right.
These men They're out of their minds.
Apparently Joe doesn't chew tobacco.
He chews kittens.
[suspenseful music playing]
[horse brays]
- Hey, guys.
- [all gasp]
[all] Lucky Luke!
[gasps]
Lucky what?
Oh, there he is.
[gun cocking]
[suspenseful music playing]
Joseph Dalton. Good to meet you.
What?
[country western music playing]
CHAPTER III
THE AMNESIAC
Well, can you explain?
- It's the buffalo's fault.
- No, it wasn't that. It was the woman.
The woman you attacked
was on the stagecoach?
Yeah, the fury.
The only one we could hear.
- She was obviously in distress.
- Her kidnappers were in distress.
No, no, it was her kidnappers
who were in distress.
- Thing is, we were trying to rob everyone.
- Yeah.
There was so much screaming,
and commotion
- they couldn't hear us.
- Couldn't.
- And right then is when she showed up.
- She was a goddess.
- One guy tried to strangle her [grunts]
- It was the other hand.
- And she caught him [grunts]
- Kata guruma.
- She threw him off.
- Over her shoulder.
And then she wailed on the next one.
[imitating fight sounds]
Choko zuki.
Kagi zuki.
Ushiro mawashi geri.
- Dislocated him.
- A spinning kick.
- And the third dude [exclaims]
- Kin geri.
- In the balls.
- He's a castrated.
It's 'cause I knew a Japanese guy
in Sing Sing--
Then she tapped her heel
on the ground like this [grunts]
It was a hidden switchblade. [grunts]
- And the cut the two leather things--
- The reins.
She jumped on her horse.
[imitates horse neighing]
[imitates riding a horse]
It's a horse.
- [imitates riding a horse] And rode off.
- Disappeared.
- That's not my mother.
- Then all of a sudden Joe arrived,
- and he shouted, "Charlie!"
- Charlie.
Shit, that is my mother.
How did he know her name, though?
- The thing is--
- We have no idea.
- Well--
- No, listen.
- Yeah--
- It was complete pandemonium after that,
'cause Joe decided
he wanted to chase after her.
Then she was shot at by her kidnappers.
She dodged the bullet, but barely.
Then she ran behind the dune,
she ran fast and disappeared.
That's where Joe got buffaloed.
- Buffaloed?
- Buffalo attack.
- [imitates buffalo]
- Right in the face.
They aren't well marked,
those buffalo stops.
Where did my mom go?
- Well, the thing is
- We don't know.
- The thing is--
- We were too far away.
- The thing is--
- Only Joe could see behind the dune.
The thing is, that up until then,
Joe was in a coma.
So we borrowed the physician
who was there in town.
A doctor.
He's over there.
Hmm.
A desperado of Mr. Dalton's level
suddenly becoming
Honest, considerate, sensitive even?
I see only one diagnosis.
- Redemption?
- Amnesia.
Oh. Really?
The only one who knows
my mother's whereabouts has amnesia.
We'll find her, I promise.
Joe's memory's gonna come back,
we'll make sure of that.
[Louise] Okay.
- [banging]
- [gasps]
[thuds]
[horse whinnies]
Ma always says to fight fire with fire.
Averell [groans]
Did I really deserve
that blow to the head?
[light guitar music playing]
Right. Alright, are you sure
you want him getting his memory back?
Even if it means he returns
to his unholy life
- as a desperado and a scoundrel?
- [Daltons] Yes!
Luke?
To my great chagrin, yeah.
Fine. Then we'll walk him
through his therapeutic process.
By repairing what he was,
he will then accept what he was,
and so he'll remember what he was.
We gotta help him, so be nice to him.
Wait, our only option
is to be nice to him?
Yes. A few more head blows
could work as well.
Ah! Well
- That could also end up killing him, so
- Oh.
Anyway, regarding memory,
you should activate his senses.
All right? Noises, smells, images
Even music. Yeah?
And make sure to include happy memories
you've shared.
Positive moments
Positive moments with Joe Dalton?
Okay
[crickets chirping]
[animal howls]
Charlie!
[gun firing, horse whinnies in memory]
[male voice yelling] Charlie!
[buffalo grunts]
[snoring]
[pensive music playing]
[sniffing]
[reading] "Mata Hari. Marie Bouvier."
What is this?
[sniffs]
[thuds]
[snores]
[Joe] All right, operation repair.
We'll start with the grocer.
We'll repair his store,
and buy cookies from him.
To give to people.
Yeah, and slap those
who don't take a cookie.
Hmm.
- Averell?
- Yeah?
You leave me no choice.
- Am I getting hit?
- No.
See that post over there?
- You're hitting me with it?
- No.
Go lean on it and reflect
on the violence that lies within you.
- No, Joe.
- Yes.
- Joe?
- Yes.
- Joe?
- Yes.
- Joe?
- Yes!
- Joe?
- Do it, please, Averell.
- [sighs]
- Thank you.
It can't be just us three.
We're the Daltons!
There's always four of us.
It'll ruin our reputation.
if you need me, here I am.
- Who are you?
- Who are you anyway?
Well I'm Billy the Kid.
No way, you're too tall to be a kid.
- Well, I grew.
- Billy never had that voice.
- I matured.
- Billy's voice would not have changed.
- Let's not waste time, Willy.
- Billy.
Whoever you are. Willy, Billy.
- I like your mug.
- [chuckles]
Welcome to the group.
Come on. Let's make amends.
Billy Dalton.
[Joe] Come on!
Don't go getting all cocky, okay?
[gasps and breathes heavily]
Oh, my. That's some snoring.
You know why?
It's chloroform.
Look at all this.
Do you see what this is?
Look at it. It's all secret agent things.
Now I'm confused.
[Zee] This woman infiltrated
your establishment
by posing as a lady of the night.
- Never seen that lady.
- That's troubling.
Because I hear she managed
to steal documents from you
that were quite compromising.
Whoever told you that
is completely full of shit.
[Zee] Mr. Oyster,
you've been reduced to a sunbaked head
but still acting cowboy?
I will admit, though,
if I had the trinkets
men adorn themselves with,
leather cuffs, Colt 45s, spurs,
I'd be tempted to do it too.
But all we have to take on the Wild West
is a veil, a fan, and a pocket mirror.
As if petticoats and power moves
were incompatible concepts.
We were forced to develop our own weapons.
[Oyster groaning]
[screams]
[continues screaming]
Okay, stop.
God, stop it.
[screaming]
Stop!
[scream echoing]
I can see right through you.
I know you're lying to me.
Okay, so this woman, she robbed me,
but I was helpless.
She beat up five of my men!
She's not human. She's a demonic creature.
She's a witch!
[Louise] My mom
is all about poems and daisies.
She's into rhubarb pies and bake sales.
Being a spy is not her thing.
Well, nobody uses this for rhubarb pie.
Do you think it's something
she got roped into?
But why?
Did you list on a sheet of paper
everyone involved in this conspiracy?
I thought one sheet with all the names
was easier than one name per sheet.
She took off with it?
Yeah.
The canteen.
Thank you for being truthful.
- Some water?
- Yes.
What are you doing? No, wait
Come back.
Come back!
Please!
Come back!
I know she's in mortal danger!
Hey, calm down.
This shows your mom has resources
if it's all true.
And we'll do what the doc says
so we get Joe's memory back.
It won't work and it takes way too long!
- Whereas Averell's method--
- That's a no.
But it's our only option.
It may disappear if we wait.
Joe could disappear with a head blow.
- Well, Calamity would try it.
- Stop it with Calamity Jane.
Why are you so obsessed with her?
I'm Lucky Luke.
L-U-C-K-Y Luke.
Not one letter in common.
Well, there's the L.
- The C.
- [grunts in frustration]
And there's a Y in there.
[goat bleats]
- [dramatic sting plays]
- We looked everywhere for you.
Looking for me?
Yeah. We're fixing things up.
- Fixing things?
- Yeah.
- [gasps softly]
- [clears throat]
Nobody steps on my foot
and gets away with it.
[suspenseful music playing]
William? [sighs] William, what did we say?
We don't hit people.
It's nice to have you with us,
Willy Billy.
Nobody is at fault, it was an accident,
you just say "Sorry about that."
Uh I'm sorry, sir.
No, not you.
You've apologized your whole life.
He never has. So we start over.
Step on his foot.
No, it's fine--
Do it, step on his foot.
It'll be fine, step on his foot.
[scoffing]
Do it harder.
Is that right?
[muted groaning]
- I'm sorry.
- [Joe] Better. Better.
You know what? One more for the road.
- One more?
- Well, yes, of course.
- For the road?
- That's what we're here for.
Hmm.
[breathing heavily]
[suspenseful music playing]
- [grunts]
- [moaning]
[groans softly]
- Sorry!
- There you go.
You're right, it wasn't so hard.
[Joe] And, William, remember,
if someone slaps your cheek,
turn the other one.
- What are you doing?
- Carving a piece of wood.
- It's hard, huh?
- Not really.
Just get a knife and start carving.
No, I mean it's hard
getting sidelined like that.
I don't like the new Joe.
Old Joe would have hit me,
not replaced me.
We'll get back old Joe.
Because I feel like you're right.
We gotta hit him.
Hard.
- Nah, the others say--
- The others are wrong.
Like them thinking you're the stupidest,
it's not true.
You're just the tallest,
so sound takes longer to get up to you.
I'm pretty sure you are a genius.
[scoffs]
They think I'm stupid?
[exhaling]
[harmonica playing]
[whistling to harmonica]
That sounds so familiar
What does it remind me of?
Jim Two Fingers. Your cellmate.
That's it.
- Him playing harmonica.
- Yeah.
That caught in your head,
didn't it, that song?
Remember that time
I took you all to Fort Brighton?
Oh, wow, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I remember.
The boy kept playing
even though he was handcuffed.
It drove Averell crazy, I said,
"Go on, Jim, keep playing, keep it up."
And Averell was so frustrated
Jim was going for it.
Even you were laughing about it.
It's the only time
we really laughed together.
Yeah.
Oh.
That does bring back some memories.
Well, that's good to hear.
Camping with the brothers.
Riding horses across the plains.
In prison playing knucklebones.
[chuckles softly]
Ah, that rascal Jim.
But even I eventually, I wanted to
give him a smack on the head.
What happened to that guy?
What? Luke? I didn't kill him, did I?
Mmm
Did I? Luke?
I'm sure I didn't kill him, right?
No, Jim's fine. I didn't kill him. No.
We can counter that buffalo
with another buffalo.
- No, buffaloes are too unpredictable.
- So a dead buffalo.
- No good.
- Dead buffalo is very predictable.
- No, that's enough.
- Throw him on a dead buffalo?
- No buffaloes. We're done with that.
- I know what.
Throw a horse--
No, it's in the buffalo family.
Uh
All right. I got it. Listen.
Here we go.
We wait
We help him be a good man,
and that will make his memory come back.
No, wait, that was their plan.
And now I'm stuck.
Me too.
The one who could help us
with ideas is Ma.
I tell you, when Ma has an idea,
it's powerful, but she--
Worse than a buffalo blow.
Come on. Hurry!
We'll get the horses.
Have a long way to go.
I don't understand
where we're going right now.
Ah, okay. Great.
I look away and you take
your buddy's wife or what?
- I'm not your wife.
- We're married.
Oh, you're married?
- Yes!
- No!
- Billy, we have important things to do.
- I imagine.
This moron is famous and a Dalton,
so you're interested.
You're interested?
- Yeah. All right.
- I'm so stupid.
Trying to get Daltonized.
To make you proud. To save our marriage.
I was Daltonized at birth so
Averell, we are just a team,
not a couple, okay?
Of course. But after breaking it up,
I'm like, "Why not?"
You watch your mouth!
Oh, stop!
Your brother has amnesia.
My mother might die.
And you two wanna hook up with me?
How about y'all go to bed together?
Marry him!
You'd become a real Dalton.
And be out of my hair.
Louise!
- [Louise] Averell!
- Yeah.
[grunts]
[moaning]
[melancholy guitar music playing]
ROBBERY
[Luke] Louise!
Louise!
Louise!
- Have you seen Louise?
- Uh, no.
And the reverend needs me to make
50 baskets for the St. Catherine's feast.
It's so weird. I looked everywhere.
- You care about that girl, huh?
- No.
No, it's just that I don't want her
causing problems.
That That's all.
She's restless. It's annoying.
- Mmm. You're worried.
- A little bit.
What if something happens to her?
- What?
- Your eyes.
This worry is not normal.
What are you doing?
It's the same look my father had
when Averell almost got hanged.
- You're worried like a parent.
- No. [scoffs]
- No, I'm not.
- I've got it.
You, the lone hero in a violent world
You have a child.
- She doesn't even know, right?
- [scoffs]
Of course she doesn't know.
How would she, if you haven't
admitted it to yourself yet?
You know, Luke,
of all the horrible things I've done,
what I regret most is what I haven't done.
Words I didn't say to my brothers.
What words?
That I care about them,
and I love them.
[Jack] Joe! Joe!
The villagers! They're insane!
They're beating William up.
- Oh, what has he done now?
- He's behaving.
He's been really nice.
[groans]
- [groans]
- [spits]
[groans]
- Me next.
- I don't even know you!
So what?
[groans]
- [grocer] Well, finally.
- You're here for more?
Come on.
- [gun firing]
- [villagers gasping]
Someone repents
and you beat them up like this?
- Sorry, sorry.
- Aren't you ashamed?
You know what I see? A bunch of cowards!
What my friend means
is that we understand your pain.
For years we've pillaged,
ransacked, and humiliated.
So we're asking you for forgiveness.
And for that,
we need all of you.
Now we ask you
Help us turn this dark page
of our history.
We ask you
Help us break the cycle of violence.
Will you help us?
Help us by not seeking vengeance, no
No, no, no
In the name of justice
and the law.
He's right, we should. Yes.
- Kill him.
- Hang this man!
- [crowd clamoring]
- Okay.
[grocer] And besides, he's their boss.
Whoa! [gun cocking]
No, wait, Luke.
If you really wanna help me make amends
let them.
After all, now, it's the law.
[dramatic music playing]
- [gun clicks]
- [man] Come on, let's hang him right now.
[crowd clamoring]
[woman] Joseph Dalton,
you are sentenced to death
for robbery,
armed robbery,
unarmed robbery,
thievery, first floor burglary,
entryway theft, landing theft,
theft of eggs,
theft of beef legs,
theft of bird legs
- Luke, you gotta do something.
- gliding theft,
night theft, day theft,
- theft of--
- [Ma' Dalton] Joe Dalton!
[all exclaiming]
What on Earth have you done now?
- Ma?
- Ma?
- Ma?
- [squawks]
Where were you?
He needed some shock therapy.
- [grunts]
- [crowd gasps]
I understand your anger, Ma.
But I deserve what's happening.
- [grunts]
- [all exclaiming]
- [grunts]
- [all exclaiming]
- Look at all these townspeople.
- Oh, no. This isn't good.
He's become cute again,
like when he was a kid.
You were right. It's serious.
It's very serious.
Oh, well. Never mind, eh.
Go ahead and hang him then, huh?
[all cheering]
Ma
- Your cake is here.
- Ah, yes.
I forgot about the condemned man's
last meal, that's a thing, isn't it?
Um Sure.
I wanted to make
your favorite cake for you, my dear.
Oh, Ma, you didn't have to.
[suspenseful music playing]
[gasps]
[dramatic music playing]
[singing] Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday-- ♪
[sighing sadly] And
It's not my favorite cake, it's Averell's.
Ah! [laughs]
It could be, yeah, right.
No. Not could be. It is.
Always the same thing.
It happened at my 8th birthday,
my 9th, my 10th.
What does it matter,
there are worse things in life.
- And you can always share it.
- [grunts]
What? Share?
You want Averell having my last meal?
Look, Joe, you're gonna die,
and your brother is sad about it, okay?
So just pull yourself together.
He needs comforting.
[scoffs]
[tense music playing]
[muted yelling]
[tense music escalates]
[blowing]
[Averell] Joe?
- Joe?
- Yeah.
[crowd gasps]
[grunting] It's the old Joe.
Yes. I remember.
[laughs]
I remember everything.
[crowd screaming]
I remember! I remember! I remember!
[screaming continues]
Clever, going back to the mother.
- [people screaming]
- You think I don't remember?
- Well, I do! I remember!
- [man yells]
[screaming continues]
I assure you I remember! Oh, yeah!
- So that's him.
- [Joe] And you, I remember you too!
- That's the real Joe.
- [woman] Other way!
- Should we, uh, stop him?
- [shrugs] Hmm.
- [people screaming]
- [Joe] I remember!
Why don't we wait a while?
Teach them a lesson. Know what I mean?
Ah! I remember! [panting]
I remember
I remember
- [horse whinnies]
- [gun fires]
Charlie! Charlie!
[gun firing]
Charlie!
Charlie?
- [buffalo grunts]
- [groans]
He's been like this for an hour.
We worked hard to get his memory back
and now he won't say a word?
- And my mother?
- I understand.
And Billy, aren't we looking for him?
Listen, I looked for him everywhere.
He must have took off.
He didn't say anything?
Not one word? Even to me?
Uh, no. Why?
- Something between you too?
- What? No
Hmm.
Normally you'd at least say something
if you're teammates with someone.
Mmm. Nah. Folks disappear every day.
Like you, this morning.
Hey, you know, I was worried about you.
Spare me some paternalistic lecture.
[shudders] Uh, okay, first of all,
first of all It's
It's Hey.
It's not a paternalistic thing.
And it's not about lecturing you.
It's
[sighs] It's an apology.
I wouldn't have been worrying
if I had been with you.
As a team.
If I had listened.
You saved our skins, once again.
And, uh
I want to tell you something else.
[hesitates]
- Look, Louise
- I'm your dad.
[country western music playing]
[sighing grimly]