Off Campus (2026) s01e03 Episode Script

[playing melody]
Janelle Monáe?
Yeah, it's just something I do.
It frees me when I'm stuck.
Keep going.
[continues playing]
You make me nervous.
Why is that?
[orchestral music:
"Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monae]
[piano keys plunk]
[breathing heavily]
[orchestral music: "Make Me Feel"
by Janelle Monae continues]
[buzzing sound]
[panting]
-You can do it.
-Yeah.
I know. I know.
I'm going to.
[panting]
[buzzing sound continues]
Are you almost there?
I'm trying.
Keep going. I can do this.
[sighs] I can do this.
[gasps]
Can you?
[buzzing sound intensifies]
[sighs]
[orchestral music: "Make Me Feel"
by Janelle Monae continues]
[cell phone ringing]
Wellsy!
Hey, I'm on my way to you right now.
Got my flash cards and everything.
Uh, actually, about that.
Uh, I know we're down to the wire,
and I promise I'll have you ready
for Tolbert tomorrow.
-But…
-But?
But I can't meet right now
because I have my first
songwriting session with Justin.
I asked him for help
with my showcase song, like you said.
And-- And he went for it.
Hello?
Did I-- Did I lose you?
-I'm here.
-Okay, are you keeping up?
I'm calling to say you were right.
That's usually where you hit me
with some arrogant reply.
What can I say?
I know my pretentious douches.
There he is.
Okay, anyway, it's impossible
to get a rehearsal space last minute,
but I got one.
So I have to push tutoring to later.
-Five-ish?
-Sure.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, why?
Because you're speaking
in two- and three-word sentences.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
Wellsy, I am thrilled beyond words
that we have accomplished this key step
in Project Lover Boy,
and you are on the road to getting laid.
Excuse me, that's not what this is about.
[scoffs]
Justin is not just some random guy
I want to hook up with.
He is a talented musician who I respect.
And also want to hook up with.
[laughs] Well, yeah.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so nervous.
[exhales]
You're overthinking.
Get out of your head.
You know your shit. Just do you.
Yeah, right. Me.
And by the way,
he may not know it yet,
but you're the real catch.
So, act like it.
Thanks, coach.
Okay, gotta go.
[up-tempo music]
♪Don't worry 'bout the past…♪
Point. One point. Come on.
Come on!
Bullshit.
[air hockey puck clicking]
-Yes!
-No.
-No.
-I win.
Dean Di Laurentis, everyone.
Losing to a girl.
-Sexist.
-How is that sexist?
She is not a girl.
She's a person in a girl's body.
Aw, Dean.
Neanderthals can evolve.
-Sorry.
-You're good.
G, this is Lexi's friend, Zoe.
Zoe? Ahem! Zoe.
Two out of three, okay?
Let's go. Let's go.
Dean. Dean, chill.
Garrett needs to study.
Oh, and I need to live, okay?
This is a living room.
Hey, Dean, Garrett's benched if he doesn't
pass this thing, and then he's fucked.
-Then your whole line is fucked.
-And the season's fucked.
I can't be the number one fan
of a shitty team.
That's so embarrassing.
-Right, guys, I'm trying here.
-Brain fuel flying in, Cap.
We got you.
High in omega-3s,
carb-forward, no keto bullshit.
-Thank you.
-Yes, sir.
-What is that?
-More liquid IV.
I thought you passed on the sponsorship.
Yeah, I did. They DM'ed my dad
some happy family marketing angle.
They want me to do
the whole thing with him.
Wait, sorry, that's it?
-How much money'd you leave on the table?
-Does it matter? It's his business.
Y'all, he's trying to study.
Trust me, no amount of money is worth it.
Yeah, that's why Taco Shack
is the ideal sponsorship.
No strings attached, just carne asada.
[Jules] All I'm saying is cash
is better than tacos.
-Unless you don't need the cash, I guess.
-[Logan] Jules!
What? He knows he's a nepo.
Okay, you know what?
I need to focus. Jeez.
No.
Seriously, dude?
Think he's coming back for that?
I-I mean, it's--
It's just a start, what I have.
It's rough still.
Might totally suck.
It might suck. It might not.
It's a-- It's a process.
Yeah.
[repeats musical phrase]
Yeah, I like this phrase here.
-You do?
-Yeah.
These, are these lyrics?
No. Uh…
-Maybe.
-Maybe?
They're my attempts.
Um, I haven't written lyrics
since high school.
Okay. Can you sing it for me?
Oh, no, I'm-- I'm not a singer. Sorry.
Well, I, um…
I can't read your handwriting.
You know what? That-- That might be fine.
-[both laugh]
-Okay. Uh…
Um…
Why don't you-- Why don't you tell me
what you think the song's about?
Yeah, yeah, sure. Um…
Uh, well, it's a love song, I think.
Um, kind of wanted to use
the cello here like a guitar.
Kind of like
a George Harrison vibe, right?
Um, like a counterpoint to the vocals.
Like they're having a conversation.
Uh, sorry, but the lyrics could be about
like, being in love with someone
who doesn't see you.
And the cello's like, "Hey, I see you.
I'm into you," you know?
Yeah.
Yeah, um, I get where you're circling.
Really?
Mm.
Hey, can I-- Can I borrow this?
Mess around with it a bit?
Yes, please. Of course, take it.
-Sweet.
-Sweet.
[laughs]
Your life is about to change.
-It is?
-Yeah.
Well, I think my life's about to change,
hence, ergo, therefore.
-You ready for life changing?
-[laughs] Okay.
[sighs] You remember that agent
I told you about?
The one that reps Briar Youth Theater
legend Joanna Maxwell?
Mm-hmm.
Well, he came to see
Our Town a couple weeks ago,
and he wants to sign me.
Oh, wow, that's great.
It is! Like it really, really is.
His agency has offices all over the place,
so this could mean film and TV work in LA,
like stage work in New York.
Like, this is everything.
Everything.
What happened to Vermont?
I thought you'd join me there
after you graduate.
My family, my dad's insurance company?
Vermont was summer.
Vermont was the plan.
Vermont was your plan.
Maybe I have different plans.
It's just…
what are the odds?
What do you mean?
I mean, what are the odds
of you actually making it?
In Vermont,
we can build a life together.
-Yeah.
-A great life that's stable and secure.
Oh, yeah, and that is a great life.
-But I--
-And you can still act.
You can do all
the summer stock you want.
You'll basically always get the lead,
which I know you love.
Okay, and what about fall and winter?
Spring?
I guess I just thought
you'd outgrow all this.
Wow.
I didn't mean it like that, Allie.
I meant…
Look, I'm-- I'm getting cold.
Can we talk about this later?
Are you done?
No, I'm not.
Hey, you don't have to lock it.
You can just leave it on the porch.
Or actually, you know what?
I can leave it on the porch.
Hi. Thanks.
[Logan] All right.
What happened to your Subaru?
Oh, my Bluebaru.
[laughs]
How do you know about that?
I fixed it.
Freshman year, you brought it
to my family's garage just off Route 6.
That was you?
That was me. Yeah.
I-I loved that car.
Tragically, she died.
Oh, shit. Sorry.
No, no, you gave my Bluebaru
six more months of life.
I had her my whole freshman year.
That was huge.
Well, if your bike ever needs a tune-up,
I'm your guy.
[laughs] Okay.
No, I'm-I'm serious.
I kind of made a little business
out of fixing things,
doing handyman work,
whatever I can get around campus.
I'm actually currently on my way
to hang Professor Walden's
new widescreen TV for $25 an hour.
-Nice.
-Yeah.
I'm rolling in it.
Well, I'm holding down three jobs
at the moment for…
wait for it…
minimum wage.
Damn! Where's the Bentley?
I love riding my bike.
Keeps me grounded, you know?
Really? Good for you. I'm proud of you.
You're a hockey player.
I thought all you guys got free rides.
Yeah, well, scholarship money
only goes so far.
Can't all be Garrett Graham, right?
[both chuckle]
Anyway, he is studying in his room.
It's the last door on--
On the left. I know.
Right.
All right. Bye.
[door closes]
["Cherry Pie" by Warrant
plays faintly on stereo]
♪Tastes so good
Make a grown man cry♪
♪Sweet cherry pie♪
Garrett?
Garrett!
Not sure how "Cherry Pie" is gonna be--
-[moaning]
-Oh, my God!
♪Sweet cherry pie♪
♪Sweet cherry pie♪♪
[Garrett] Hannah, wait.
[Hannah] You know, locking the door
is a thing that people do.
-I'm sorry.
-Okay, you know,
I plan these sessions for you,
and you're always distracted.
You're at the gym curling or pressing
or whatever, or sexting, or…
Fuck! Actually having sex.
Which, by the way,
kind of blows up our entire story.
-No, it doesn't.
-Yeah, it does.
We're supposed to be a couple.
Yeah, but we're not exclusive.
We talked about this.
Well, I know that nobody would believe
that Mr. I Don't Do Girlfriends
would actually have a girlfriend.
That's not the point.
The point is that you're not
taking us, this, seriously.
Yes, I am. I was studying.
Yeah, studying what exactly?
Okay, no. Actually, don't.
Don't answer that.
Zoe offered to help, you know,
take my mind off of things.
-Loosen up a little bit.
-Oh, my God.
-Please stop.
-You changed the study time.
Yeah, I changed it to now.
And you agreed.
Okay, hold on. Wait.
[sighs]
Okay, I'm sorry.
I want to learn this.
I do. I…
I don't get how there can be
two truths.
Like, shit's either true or it's not.
Subjective, objective.
I mean, what the fuck, Kierkegaard?
Okay, he believed that people needed
to define truths for themselves.
Like, believing in God.
See, this is why I need you.
That actually makes sense.
Yeah, what can I say?
I know my pretentious philosophers.
[laughs]
Okay, look.
I messed up.
Can you please come back inside?
Tucker made salmon.
We can eat, study…
Okay, you have a naked woman in your room.
Oh.
-Shit, I do.
-[cell phone chimes]
Uh, that's okay.
Just give me five minutes.
-What?
-Uh…
Justin has some thoughts
about the song.
All right, well, what about studying?
I'll send you a video on Kierkegaard
that explains everything, okay?
And I'll meet you tomorrow before class.
With your clothes on!
[plays gentle tune]
♪Silent as the eagle strikes♪
♪In a cold and lonely world♪
♪Alone enough for me to ask this♪
♪Alone enough to fear the hurt♪
And then the cello part
you wrote for the pre
actually worked great as a vocal melody.
Then I added another section
before the call and response.
Like, um.
♪What was it all for?♪
♪Hello, hello, pain♪
♪Sinking into your♪
♪Yellow, yellow haze♪
♪Yellow, yellow♪
And then your cello part.
♪Yellow, yellow♪
[hums]
♪Yellow, yellow♪
Something like that.
You-- You just came up with that?
That's your melody.
I just, um…
Just gave it words.
Do-- Do you like it?
Yeah. Yeah, I-I do. I-I really, really do.
I mean, I thought you would. I'm just…
Yeah, I'm really glad you like it.
[both laugh]
Shit, sorry. Damn.
Do you always record yourself?
Well, you never know
when inspiration might strike.
Like, if you see me around campus
with my phone in the air,
it's because I'm recording.
Like, the sound of the wind
or trees rustling.
Or the ceramic clinking at Malone's.
Such a specific sound.
-Such a specific sound, yeah.
-[laughs]
And then you use it?
Yeah, sometimes.
Usually, like, really deep in the mix
when I'm trying to change things up.
Ben Folds does it too,
and Sharon Van Etten.
-Like Billie Eilish and Finneas.
-Yeah, yeah, exactly.
[laughing]
Yeah.
Uh…
Let me, um, send you this file,
and we can riff on it.
Are you a Pro Tools or a Logic girl?
Logic. All the way.
[laughs] Okay.
Sick.
Uh…
Uh, let me actually just…
Shit, it's, um, it's 7.30.
I've gotta…
I gotta go.
-Okay, yeah. Yeah, no problem.
-Yeah.
I'll see you later.
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Cool.
Ciao.
Fuck.
["Scatterbrain" by Emei plays]
[exhales]
♪Dun, dun-dun, dun, dun-dun♪
♪All right, got a lot of friends
That I can't escape♪
♪Sleeping in my head like a Motel 6♪
♪Hold it all together
With a little duct tape♪
♪It bends, it breaks♪
♪Got a lot of dreams
But I let them die♪
♪Ping-pong, drip-drop, oh my, my♪
♪The TV's on, but the noise is white♪
♪What am I doing now?♪
♪God, can I catch my breath♪
♪Not even for a second?♪
♪Chasing Santa Ana winds♪
♪And I obsess♪
♪I slow-dance with the tension♪
♪Can you taste it on my lips?♪
♪I'm so scatterbrained♪
♪For a second, I don't feel the same♪
♪Come medicate me♪
♪I don't sleep at all, yeah♪
♪I've been counting sheep♪
♪I look perfect on the surface
But a nightmare underneath♪
♪I've got anger problems
I say things that I don't mean♪
♪Some people pay for therapy♪
♪I find it in the sheets♪♪
[sighs]
[exhales]
Here, let me send you this file
and we can riff on it.
Uh, we could.
Or…
Or?
♪Baby, don't make me
Spell it out for you♪
♪All of the feelings
That I've got for you♪
♪Can't be explained
But I can try for you♪
♪Baby, don't make me
Spell it out for you♪
♪You keep on asking me
The same questions♪
♪Why?♪
♪And second-guessing
All my intentions♪
♪Should know by the way
I use my compression♪
♪That you got the answers
To my confessions♪
♪It's like I'm powerful
With a little bit of tender♪
♪An emotional sexual bender♪
♪Mess me up, yeah
But no one does it better♪
♪There's nothing better♪
♪That's just the way you make me feel♪
♪Just the way you make me feel♪
♪That's just the way you make me feel♪
♪The way you make me feel♪
♪So good, so good, so fucking real♪
♪Uh-huh♪
♪That's just the way you make me feel♪
Please.
♪The way you make me feel♪
♪Oh, oh, oh♪
♪That's just the way you make me feel♪♪
What do you want, Wellsy?
Wellsy. Wellsy?
S-Sorry, yes? What?
What if she picks Kierkegaard?
I still don't get the two truths thing.
-I'm so screwed if I get him.
-No, you're not.
You know everything on these cards.
I promise.
What if I forget or something, you know?
I mean, Tolbert kind of intimidates
the fuck out of me.
Okay, well, pretend she's a defenseman
from Eastwood coming at you, okay?
What would you do?
Skate away.
Hockey's easy.
Okay, well, if you forget,
just look at me.
Okay? Convince me.
Isn't this fun?
Huh?
Kierkegaard.
-Shit.
-Shit.
Okay, Mr. Graham.
Your topic is ghosting.
Would Kierkegaard argue ghosting
is moral or immoral, and why?
Uh, Kierkegaard would argue
that ghosting someone is immoral
uh, because it is, like, um…
you know, really wrong
to do to somebody morally.
You've got this.
You know, ghosting
might sound like no big deal,
but Kierkegaard would say,
not only is it harmful to the victim,
it is an absolute abdication of selfhood.
Ahem.
While an objective truth
is supported by facts,
Kierkegaard believed
that, as individuals,
we have a shared moral responsibility
to be honest
based on our own
subjective definition of truth.
To suddenly disappear from someone's life
without an explanation is basically
like discarding their humanity.
Ghosting is choosing comfort over courage,
despair over strength.
It is labeling another human being
as unworthy.
And as Kierkegaard himself said,
"Once you label me,
you fucking negate me."
[laughter]
Uh, I'm paraphrasing.
[chuckles nervously]
-[Garrett] Ah!
-[Hannah laughing]
-We did it! A fucking B!
-Plus!
-Don't forget the plus.
-B-plus?
Yeah, you are officially
a professional bullshitter.
-Thanks to you.
-Oh!
Um…
What do you want, Wellsy?
Um…
You can put me down now.
We know how much you can bench.
Shit.
I think Justin saw me.
Uh, yeah, he just waved at you, crazy.
He's walking away now.
What's going on?
So embarrassing.
I think he saw my Justin Kohl playlist.
You have a Justin Kohl playlist?
Okay, don't make it worse.
Are we talking, like,
songs that remind you of him,
or his band stuff?
His band stuff.
And some solo stuff from high school.
Wow, you went down
the fangirl rabbit hole.
Hard.
That is the exact opposite
of everything we've been working on.
-Yeah, I know.
-[cell phone chimes]
Oh, my God.
He wants to know if I'm good.
What should I say? Am I good?
-Nope.
-What are you doing?
You're not gonna respond. Say nothing.
What?
Hey, fangirl.
Start thinking like a fuckboy.
-Ghost his ass.
-Wait.
Didn't you just give a whole impassioned
argument about how ghosting is immoral?
That it's an abdication of selfhood?
That was to get me the grade.
This is to get you the guy.
You want that, right?
[heartbeat thumps]
-Yeah, I do.
-All right.
Then you're stuck with me
because we've only finished half the deal.
And, uh, oh, shit.
Haven't I been completely right
about everything so far?
You are intolerable.
So, you are not going to text Justin.
You are going to put your phone away
and come to Malone's
with me and the guys tonight.
-Tonight?
-You're not working, are you?
-No.
-Okay, so you're coming.
-To Malone's?
-Yes.
-With all the guys?
-We've established this.
-Garrett.
-Hannah.
-Do you know what tonight is?
-Hell yeah, I do.
So, you're going to karaoke night
with Garrett Graham?
And the rest of the team. And you.
If you're free.
Maybe.
Oh.
Oh! My slut top.
Take it.
From my boobs to yours.
What do you mean maybe?
I might stay in.
Stay in?
Allie, you didn't even stay in last year
when you sprained your ankle.
-You bedazzled your boot.
-Yeah.
Just feeling a little meh.
What's going on?
I told Sean I got an agent,
and he got all like,
"But what about the real world, babe?"
I'm sorry, you got a what?
Oh, yeah. No, I got an agent.
-Yay.
-Oh, my God!
You let me go on about my shit
when you have news like that?
Allie, this is everything.
Every fucking thing.
Oh, yeah. It, like, is everything, right?
[gasps]
You're the best.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Okay, screw him.
You're coming out with me,
and we're celebrating you.
I don't know.
It's karaoke night.
You really gonna rob the people
of your talent?
[sighs]
[singing poorly]
♪Take me for what I am♪
♪Who I was meant to be♪
♪And if you give a damn♪
♪Take me, baby♪
♪Or leave me♪
Whoo!
-[Garrett] Yeah!
-Woohoo!
-She's really going at it.
-Yeah, the stage is her happy place.
Hey, who's next?
Someone, please, save us
from Adele Dazeem up there.
[laughs]
♪Lose your head♪
♪'Cause every night, who's in your bed?♪
Whoo!
Wellsy, what you singing?
-Nothing.
-Come on, it's karaoke.
Yeah, well, sober karaoke's no fun.
I'm sober, too.
Game tomorrow.
-Yeah, and what are you singing?
-I don't know.
The guys will pull me up for something.
I'm good, thanks.
-[laughs]
-All right.
♪What's my sin?
Never quit, I follow through♪
♪I hate mess but I love you♪
♪What to do with my impromptu baby♪
♪So be wise 'cause this girl satisfies…♪
You know, you don't have to be sober
if you don't want to be.
-Yeah, well, I don't--
-[Garrett] Drink in public.
No, I know.
But do you want to?
-Want to what?
-Drink.
-I told Allie…
-I will look after Allie.
She's a no-filter drunk.
Gotta rein her in.
I can handle her.
And I will guard your drinks with my life.
I got you, Wellsy.
Do you trust me?
Yeah. Yeah, I-I do.
Okay, uh, I will have a drink.
A "drink" drink.
And what is your "drink" drink of choice?
I don't know.
Well, that is a fun problem to solve.
[upbeat electronic music playing]
Oh.
[shudders]
I think we found your "drink" drink.
Yummy!
[Hannah giggles]
He thought I would outgrow acting.
[scoffs] Like, dude,
I would love to be
ER nurse number two with half a line.
Jon Hamm had one scene in Gilmore Girls.
I know, he's the Mad Man.
I'm like, I get it.
There's no guarantee that I'll make it.
But isn't that kind of
what's exciting about it?
Like, that's why they call it a dream.
But I do love him.
You know? And…
And I know he loves me.
And…
Like, we're supposed to be together.
Oh, God, we've broken up
and gotten back together so many times.
It's, like, insane.
I mean, that's gotta
mean something, right?
That we keep getting back together.
My mom always used to tell me,
"Never give up on love."
Well, that and, "Love your body,"
which I do.
[woman] My mom said the same thing!
Oh, my God, really?
Wait, hold on,
the love thing or the body thing?
[toilet flushes]
Hang in there, girl.
[tap water runs]
[seductive music playing]
JLo.
Maverick.
I've got a boyfriend, you know.
Yeah, no, I heard.
Along with the rest of the ladies' room.
Doesn't sound like
he's gonna last long, though.
Okay, this is supposed to be,
like, a sacred space.
Who the hell hooks up
in the ladies' bathroom anyway?
Sorry. Not you.
You're a sweetheart.
And you're disgusting.
♪Well, I walk into the room♪
♪Passing out hundred-dollar bills♪
♪And it kills and it thrills
Like the horns on my Silverado grill♪
♪And I buy the bar
A double round of Crown♪
♪And everybody's getting down♪
♪And this town
Ain't never gonna be the same♪
♪'Cause I saddle up my horse♪
♪And I ride into the city♪
♪I make a lot of noise♪
-♪'Cause the girls, they are so pretty♪
-No way.
♪Riding up and down Broadway
On my old stud Leroy♪
♪And the girls say
"Save a horse, ride a cowboy"…♪
Good, you're here.
I'll put you and Garrett down
for "Summer Nights."
I know that's a joke,
but I would kill Sandy.
[Jules] I wasn't sold on them at first,
but I can see it now.
Yeah. Sure.
-Hey.
-Oh, Logan!
You fixed my car.
He fixed my car.
You have a car?
No.
Had a car. A great car.
I'm buying you a very special
thank-you drink.
[inaudible]
[laughing] Okay, you're gonna love it.
Hannah has discovered
the piña colada tonight.
-Ooh!
-I only had one…
or four.
Is that what I'm getting too?
Nope.
For my mechanic,
I call this the Bluebaru.
-See?
-Wow.
That looks like wiper fluid.
That might actually be wiper fluid.
It's mostly blue curaçao
with a secret ingredient.
More blue curaçao.
Oh!
I'm so excited. I can't wait.
-Hey, G.
-What's up?
I brought you something.
I thought you were looking
a little parched.
I know. Nepo babies have feelings too.
Sorry if I was an asshole.
-You're always an asshole.
-Fair.
[Garrett] Here goes.
[Tucker continues singing]
♪Everybody say♪
-♪"Save a horse, ride a cowboy"♪♪
-[audience joining and applauding]
This is pretty good.
They just keep sending you those for free?
-Yeah, they still want him.
-[Garrett] They want my dad.
Wait, you guys should just do it together.
I mean, look at you. Best friends.
All right, maybe we'll slow down
on the piña coladas a little.
[Hannah] No, I mean it. Screw your dad.
Do it with Logan.
You could be teammates
spotting each other at the gym.
Or besties wingmanning
each other at the bar.
-Besties.
-Besties.
Am I drunk, or is she brilliant?
No, I'm drunk and you're brilliant.
And I'm brilliant too.
It's not a bad idea.
Thanks, man, but I don't need the charity.
Yeah, you do.
I mean, seriously.
Nobody wants to see
Oldie McOldsfuck has-been, okay?
What's better than
two hot young hockey players?
Three hot young hockey players?
[all] Yeah!
[laughing]
Hannah Wells.
You're up, bitch.
Whoo!
All right, hold on.
Wait, I thought you weren't singing.
That was before I found the perfect song.
[background vocalists]
♪Dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking♪
Oh, shit, Graham.
You know this one?
♪She's my cherry pie♪
♪Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise♪
♪Tastes so good, make a grown man cry♪
♪Sweet cherry pie♪
Whoo!
[all cheering]
Whoo!
♪Listen♪
♪Well, swinging on the front porch
Swinging on the lawn♪
♪Swinging where we want
'Cause there ain't nobody home♪
♪Swinging to the left
And swinging to the right♪
♪Think about hockey, I swing all night♪
♪Yeah♪
♪Come on♪
♪Swinging in the living room
Swinging in the kitchen♪
♪Most folks don't
'Cause they're too busy bitchin'♪
♪Swinging in there
'Cause she wanted me to feed her♪
♪So I mixed up the batter
And she licked the beater♪
♪I scream, you scream
We all scream for her♪
♪But don't even try
'Cause you can't ignore her♪
[background vocals]
♪She's my cherry pie♪
♪Such a sweet surprise♪
♪She make a grown man♪
Whoo!
♪She's my cherry pie♪
♪Put a smile on your face
ten miles wide♪
♪Looks so good, bring a tear to your eye♪
♪Sweet cherry pie♪
♪I, I, yeah♪
♪Swing it♪
♪All night long…♪
Kind of sweet, isn't it?
Seeing Garrett being serious
about someone.
Do you think he's serious?
Everyone on Fifth Line seems to think so.
They get more likes
than anything else I post.
♪Swinging in the bathroom
Swinging on the floor♪
♪Swinging so hard
Forgot to lock the door♪
♪In walked her daddy
Standing six foot four♪
♪Said, "You ain't gonna swing
With my daughter no more"♪
♪She's my cherry pie♪
♪Such a sweet surprise♪
♪She make a grown man♪
Whoo!
♪She's my cherry pie♪
♪Put a smile on your face ten miles wide♪
♪Looks so good, bring a tear to your eye♪
♪Sweet cherry pie♪
♪Sweet cherry pie♪
[cheers and applause]
[Hannah] Swingin'.
[laughs]
[both laugh]
You did good, Wellsy.
Thank you.
[both chuckle]
[turn signal clicks]
[vent air blowing]
[turns vent off]
[inhales deeply]
[clears throat]
You guys, I forgot my purse at the bar.
Your purse with my wallet and keys in it?
-We gotta go back.
-It's closed.
Well, what now?
Next party?
[laughs]
Night, night.
Wellsy?
["Hope Is a Scary Thing"
by Carol Ades playing]
Wellsy?
♪Back of my mind, back of my mind♪
♪I'm a little scared, I'm a little wired♪
♪I don't wanna put my foot down
Right now and stop it all happening♪
♪Back of my mind, back of my head♪
♪You look really nice, wanna share a bed?♪
♪I don't wanna put my foot down
Right now, but it's happening♪
♪Don't kiss me♪
♪'Cause I might end up on the ceiling♪
♪Way too high to ever
Come down to reality♪
♪Back to my sanity♪
♪Guess it's too late for that now♪
♪Hope is a scary thing♪
♪Hope is a scary thing♪
♪I'm flying on temporary wings♪
♪Hope is a scary thing♪♪
I found something to sleep in.
I can see that.
Whoa, whoa.
But I'm a fuck bunny.
A puck funny.
[laughing] No, no.
A fuck bunny. That's it.
You're a drunk bunny.
Come here.
[laughs] Come here.
A fake relationship means
we can fake sleep together.
I don't think it's a great idea.
I actually think it's my best idea.
Well…
[inhales sharply]
Go to sleep, Wellsy.
Hey, you're not gonna remember
any of this in the morning.
[cell phone chimes and vibrates]
Oh, my God.
[upbeat music playing]
-[breathing heavily]
-Can you?
[upbeat music ends]
[door closes]
[breathing deeply]
[sniffles]
Coffee?
Oh, uh…
Thanks.
Morning.
Morning.
You were pretty drunk last night.
How much do you remember?
All of it.
You tried to have sex with me.
Yeah, I-I know.
And now you're bringing me coffee.
Yep.
Okay, are you 100% awake?
Because there's something really important
that I need you to do for me.
Oh.
Okay.
I need you to give me an orgasm.
["Underestimate Me" by Chloe Lilac plays]
♪Uh-oh♪
♪Oh, no♪
♪I think I'm losing all my self-control♪
♪If you stay, I should go♪
♪But if you don't
I think I'll risk it all♪
♪Oh, oh♪
♪No, no♪
♪Oh, oh♪
♪Oh, oh, oh, oh♪
♪No, no♪
♪Don't underestimate me♪
♪I can change your life♪
My friends say fixing you♪
♪Is just a waste of time♪
♪Waste of time♪
♪Call me dear sentimental♪
♪Kiss me at the bar♪
♪At the bar♪
♪Think I'm the happiest♪
♪When I'm within your arms♪
♪I mean, I don't even know
what to say at this point♪
♪Oh, oh♪
♪Oh, no♪
♪I think I'm losing all my self-control♪
-♪If you stay♪
-♪Stay♪
-♪I should go♪
-♪Go♪
♪But if you don't
I think I'll risk it all♪
♪Give you a reason to live♪
♪Baby, I think it's for the win♪
♪Cut all ties with the old♪
♪And I'll give you something to miss♪
♪When the good gets harder to hold♪
♪Throw it all to the wind♪
♪For the win, for the win, for the win♪
♪Don't underestimate me ♪
♪I'm losing my control♪
♪Oh-oh, oh, no♪
♪I think I'm losing all my self-control♪
-♪If you say♪
-♪Say♪
-♪I should go♪
-♪Go♪
♪But if you don't♪
♪I think I'll risk it all♪♪