Smoke (2025) s01e03 Episode Script

Weird Milk

1
["Dialing In" playing]
Telephone ♪
Calling me ♪
Who put all that shit in your head? ♪
Saying things ♪
Telling things ♪
Till you break ♪
Filthy water ♪
Bubbles up ♪
Who put all that shit in your head? ♪
[pen scratching]
[therapist] Difficulty sleeping?
[Calderone] Nope.
Eating?
Like a horse. [chuckles]
How are you feeling about the incident?
Oh, I've processed it.
You shot a man
armed with an assault rifle.
That's a traumatic event.
[smacks lips] Hmm
[scoffs]
That's funny?
No [stammers] it's just I don't
know, the-the whole Stanton thing.
You know, for me [sighs]
personally, it-it's not traumatic.
[sighs]
What is?
[sighs]
Combat.
IED explodes.
A-A guy you-you played poker with
for six fucking months
hemorrhages through his goddamn stomach.
That's that's traumatic.
You want me to sign off on these papers,
I need you to get real with me.
[stammers] I'm being very real with you.
Look, I I shot a criminal
in self-defense.
[stammers] That's the job.
You know, it's-it's
If I have a nervous breakdown every single
time some dickhead pulls a gun on me,
I mean I should go
and check some parking meters.
I see you've worked undercover before.
Yeah. Vice.
Did you know that UCs are chosen
for deficiencies in their psych profiles?
Manipulative tendencies,
attachment disorders,
frequent dissociation.
Any of that sound familiar?
I know what I am.
And what is that?
Michelle?
I'm invincible.
No one can hurt you more
than you've already been hurt.
That the narrative?
[breathing shakily]
I do this one thing really well.
And I'm not looking to be [stammers]
h-hell, I can't be
some well-rounded person.
[breathes shakily] I'm a job.
Job is me.
You will run out of road one day.
[chuckles]
But not yet.
What? You're back today?
[Calderone chuckles]
Psych cleared, board approved.
Did you miss me? I bet
you missed me, huh?
I thought you'd ride the desk longer
for blowing a guy's cock off.
I didn't blow his cock off!
[Gudsen] Mmm, his balls. Whatever.
I can't with you.
I got some domestic
business this morning.
Think you can, uh,
entertain yourself for a few hours?
Yeah. I got some, uh,
work to do on D and C.
What work?
With Stanton out,
we're fresh out of leads.
I'm not easily deterred. [sighs]
Cool. See you later.
[Gudsen] He knows our response times,
the limits on our resources,
how much man power we put on a fire.
Then he cuts our effectiveness in half
by splitting us.
He knows he's in our our sights.
He's laying low.
[line ringing]
Yep, it's Detective Calderone
from Umberland Fire HQ.
You got those incident reports?
Last year, the northern wards.
[person speaks indistinctly]
False alarms.
[person speaks indistinctly]
Yeah, I want 'em all.
[person speaks indistinctly]
Some people call me that.
I prefer "thorough."
Hey, I was clearing out my bookcase.
Found something for you.
- Oh, what's it about?
- Uh, war.
Growing up. Becoming a-a man, I guess.
I'll like it?
You will.
Yeah, um I read it in college,
so apologies
for all the self-important annotations.
[sighing]
Can I help with anything?
That trash is full.
You're throwing these out?
They're just plastic statues.
All your 5:00 a.m. runs,
your strength training, your meets.
It's good to remind yourself
of your accomplishments.
Okay, well if you care about them
that much then you take 'em.
You're upset.
- That's fair.
- No-Nothing about this is fair.
It's tenure track, man.
These positions come up
once every five or ten years,
like I can't [sighs]
It's like being an astronaut
and-and getting called to the moon.
[chuckles] Yeah, Dad,
you're exactly like an astronaut.
[chuckles] Take the book. You'll like it.
[sighs]
["What About Me?" playing]
Oh.
What are you doing?
Cleaning up for Emmett.
You probably shouldn't be in his room.
Oh.
I was just trying to help.
Would you have wanted your dad going
through your stuff when you were his age?
My dad always went through our stuff.
Said it was his house, his shit.
- [music stops]
- [sighs]
Been meaning to say I, uh
I want to be there for you.
For both of you.
[sighs]
Whatever that means. [chuckles]
Why don't you go work on the book?
- Okay.
- I'll finish this up.
- Yeah, okay.
- Hmm.
All right, so call comes in at 7:43 a.m.,
you arrive in the area.
What did you see?
[chuckles] I mean,
this was six months ago.
- Yeah.
- Uh [smacks lips, inhales deeply]
Not much in my notes, but flame probably
caught hold of some debris,
coughed up a bunch of smoke
and died before we even turned up.
No embers?
Burned brush?
I mean, I-I just need
an approximate location.
So are we talkin' over here,
are we more over
Hey, ma'am [stammers] I'm sorry
I I didn't even get out of the truck.
Did you search for an incendiary device?
Yeah, we called in CSI,
roped off the scene,
and me and 15 other
government paid employees
grid searched the whole meadow
for a device that didn't start a fire.
[sniffs]
Looks a little something like this,
but a little burned up.
[scoffs] Okay, so you're looking for
a cigarette butt in a forest?
[Calderone sighs]
Yeah.
Do you obey stop signs?
[breathes heavily]
[Freddy grunting]
[worker] You think they're gonna
make you a manager?
They got socks
they care more about than you.
- [grunts]
- What's overhead?
Uh-uh.
Not the ceiling.
The fucking business concept.
Mmm, don't know yet.
- [continues grunting]
- You should know yet.
I guarantee you all the jagoffs
going for the job know yet.
Can you stop scraping?
Just doing my best.
You think there's a guy
who's staring at the monitor
with a bag full of gold stars
just slapping them on the board
when you give 110%?
I don't think there are stars.
And those cameras aren't here
to watch us do good.
They're here to catch us doin' shit.
Whoa, shit!
Whoa, uh shit.
Fucking put it out, dude.
Fuck. Okay
Move then!
Fuck.
- The fuck is wrong with you?
- [grunts]
- Huh?
- [breathes heavily]
Hey. What are you doing with that milk?
- [scoffs]
- You stole it!
[chattering, laughing]
[passerby] Your milk looks weird.
Can I have a bag?
[chattering, laughing]
[chuckling]
Hey, evidence locker, 230.
Yeah, I might have something.
Give me good news, Steven.
Well, Sacred Ginmill
has a great French dip.
Shit.
Give me the bad news.
The lab won't touch your cancer stick.
They can't analyze evidence
from an unprosecutable crime.
What are you talking about?
I'm investigating a serial arsonist.
Yeah, but that cigarette
didn't start a fire,
and you don't have anything
connecting it to your pyro.
[Calderone] I found a goddamn device
in the middle of a goddamn forest
in the middle of a goddamn county
full of goddamn forests.
And we can't test this goddamn device?
Well
Meet me for a goddamn drink.
And you can whine about it,
and I can pretend to listen.
- How about that?
- [sighs]
Rain check.
I got an appointment.
[line beeps]
[door opens]
- Hey.
- Hey.
How goes D and C?
Umberland has over 200,000 people.
And I've ruled out 6,000 of them.
Deceased?
- [inhales sharply] Babies.
- [sighs]
That's solid police work.
Okay, what's this?
Thought you said
you had something new to show me.
Same evidence, new perspective.
- Huh.
- Hmm.
Ah. Flip 'em over. Never tried that.
[chuckles] Yeah, what's on the bottom?
[sighs]
Recycle triangle code 2
high density polyethylene.
And this?
- [Calderone] Melted debris.
- And this? Huh.
Yeah.
Code 4 low density polyethylene.
Shopping bags.
On all of them.
[chuckles] Okay.
Well [inhales deeply] gotta
be what, over 100 grocery stores
that use plastic shopping bags?
- [mutters]
- Uh-huh.
Is it something unique about these bags?
It can't be a logo.
- Color?
- [gasps] Color.
Hmm, color.
They're burned.
All of 'em.
And according to the lab,
before they were all burned,
they were all black.
[inhales sharply] Huh.
How many stores in the area
use black shopping bags?
[inhales sharply]
Two.
Oh, damn.
- Good for you. Okay, okay.
- [chuckles]
Figure we could pay a visit.
Get to know our local business owners.
Just me and you. What do you say?
[sighs] More than that.
We track it with, uh,
some metal QR codes.
We're not the PD.
They're not gonna approve tech.
I'm the PD.
And I'm dragging your ass
into the 21st century. Come on.
So we just have these clerks
put these metal QR codes
into each one of these shopping bags,
and then we just
scan it when we find it
at the crime scene.
Yeah. That's about right, sir.
- Okay.
- That's how it's gonna work.
Pretty slick.
What are you gonna need here?
I would think, um, 2,000 QR codes at
- At least, you know
- At what?
- three bucks apiece.
- Okay.
So that's 6,000 American greenbacks.
Would think you're gonna
need a little extra equipment.
- Yeah. For sure.
- [Gudsen] Mmm. Five specialty scanners.
Four grand each.
Okay, good.
[inhales deeply]
One question.
Have you been good this year?
Excuse me?
Only Santa can bring you these toys.
We don't have the budget for this shit.
- [laughing] Shit.
- [laughing]
We don't!
[laughing]
Oh, come on!
Don't be mad.
[instrumental music playing]
[clears throat]
[receptionist] Mr. Fasano.
You just follow me.
[interviewer sighs]
[chuckling] Hawaii, last July.
My daughter and I did snuba,
which is like a cross
between scuba and snorkeling.
Absolute blast. [chuckles]
You have kids?
[clears throat] No.
[groans]
So it says here you've been, uh
you've been with Coop's for seven years.
We like to see that kind of loyalty.
[chuckles]
All right. Um
So tell me, what do you like most
about the job, Freddy?
Uh
Customers. [chuckles]
[chuckles] Yeah, well,
that's what it's all about, right?
[chuckles]
Um, well then tell me about your approach
to customer service.
Serve 'em fast. [chuckles]
Well, yeah, sure.
That is the name of the game.
Um, I guess what
I'm looking for is, uh
how do you make them feel welcome
and appreciated at Coop's?
Uh [stammers]
I make 'em happy. [chuckles]
[stammers] And how do you do that?
Give 'em good food fast. [chuckles]
I bet you do, Freddy. I bet you do.
Um
So tell me, why do you
want to be manager?
[breathing heavily]
I wanna be more
for Coop's.
Well, tremendous.
That's-That's great. That's Yeah.
[thunder rumbles]
[Calderone] All right!
Ladies and gentlemen,
from parts unknown,
she is coming in weighing in
at less than a sack of potatoes,
Sophie Calderone!
Oh! Here she comes, here she comes!
- [cheers]
- [Sophie cheers]
She scores!
She kicks it because
she's the strongest person in the world!
And the crowd goes crazy!
[Sophie] And then my shoe came off.
[Calderone] When he pulled you?
Yeah.
On the jungle gym?
No. On the fence.
Hmm.
Well, this Noah kid is a menace.
[yawns] Yeah. He's a meanie.
That too. [chuckles]
Sometimes he's nice, but it's confusing.
Hmm.
Yeah, meanies can be nice, but
nice people are never mean.
[Calderone breathing shakily]
[whimpers]
[knocks on door]
I think that's your mom and dad.
[Sophie] Hmm?
Come on. [grunts]
Here.
[groans] Good girl.
[chuckles]
Rose made me go dancing after dinner.
Now she's passed out in her car.
- [chuckles]
- [sighs]
- Go to your dad.
- [Sophie grunts]
[Benji] Come on.
- [sighs] Well, glad you had fun.
- [grunts]
Yeah.
Guess I'll see you tomorrow.
[Benji sighs]
You're coming?
Yeah.
- [sighs]
- That a problem?
[sighs] She's an old woman.
Mm-hmm.
For me.
Don't. [sighs]
[Sophie] You'll be at my birthday party?
[Calderone]
I wouldn't miss it for the world, baby.
[door closes]
[lock clicks]
[worker sighs] My fucking feet, bro.
[groans]
[sighs] Fuck me.
I cleaned the walk-in.
We are good to bounce.
Wanna get a beer?
Somewhere?
Hello? [chuckles]
I was thinking about earlier.
Well, my dad used to shit on my dreams
when I was a kid.
Like, I-I wanted to be
the fucking Karate Kid, man.
Stupid.
I can't even hold chopsticks.
But if I did that.
Like
the shitting.
That's fucked.
Okay.
It go good today?
[Freddy breathes heavily]
Huh?
[chuckles] That fucking rips, man.
When do you hear?
Second round interviews
are tomorrow morning.
Right, dawg. Well
no matter what, you got some new swagger.
Huh? That's legit. Right?
He said they'll be in touch.
[clears throat] All right, I'm gonna go.
Congratulations.
Lock up, fucker. [chuckles]
[sighs]
[Rose] She's not gonna get out.
It's not like she's in there
for civil disobedience.
People died.
Mrs. Calderone has worked tirelessly
helping other prisoners
find a path to enlightenment
and achievement.
I have little doubt that she will continue
her charitable acts on the outside.
All right. Well, I have no further
questions for our chaplain.
- Anyone else?
- None.
In that case I recommend that we
convene until we're able to get a
[Calderone sighs]
Some people in this room seem
surprised to see you, Miss Calderone.
My family didn't want me here today.
They love my mother.
And, to them, when you love someone,
you want them to be free.
I get that.
I love my mother.
But I don't want her to be free.
My siblings were not
in that motel room, I was.
So they can tell themselves
that our mother wasn't herself
because of the drugs.
But I know she was.
I know she was her true self.
And although my mother's claimed
she's found God and-and-and atoned
You know, taken ownership of her sins.
[sniffles]
Great.
You know, maybe God
got a letter of apology, but I didn't.
[sighing]
I bear her no ill will.
I wish her no pain.
But she destroys lives.
She eats souls.
She's done it before,
and she'll do it again.
[pastor] Is there space in your heart
for forgiveness?
Absolutely, with meaningful penance.
[pastor] And what would that look like?
[sighs] That apology letter for starters.
- [pastor] To you?
- [sniffles] Yes.
But in her state at the time,
she believed she was saving your life.
So, with all due respect,
what does she have
to apologize to you for?
No.
No.
- [inhales sharply]
- Miss Calderone.
No.
[sniffling, sighing]
[grunts]
Open the fucking door. [pants]
[sighs]
[doorbell rings]
[panting]
Coming.
Hello?
Hello?
Hey!
[gasps] What the fuck?
You Hey!
Fuck!
[Gudsen] Yeah, we got this.
All right. See you.
Hi.
[Calderone] What do we got?
[car owner] Wish I'd
gotten a better look.
Ball cap, tan jacket, brown pants,
white, middle-aged.
- He limp?
- What?
[Gudsen] Did you notice
if he walked with a limp?
I only saw him for a second.
Then how do you know he was middle-aged?
Did you see his face?
[car owner stammers]
Uh, I guess the way he moved.
[sighs] It's a beautiful car.
It was.
Ten years ago I saw one new
and I thought, "That is the perfect car."
But couldn't afford it,
so, last year I saw this one.
70,000 miles on her so I said, "Why not?"
Do you recall if the
the guy you saw wore gloves?
I don't I
can't tell if he walked with a limp
or if he wore gloves.
[scoffs] Some witness.
Trust me, you're better than most.
[Calderone] You figure this for D and C?
Different MO.
Same physical description though.
There might be more than one white guy
in the area dressed like a suburban dad.
- I'm just saying.
- [chuckles]
We good for today?
You got a hot date?
Oh, God.
I'm a married guy,
I gotta live vicariously
through my friends.
Oh, so we're friends now?
- Besties.
- [chuckles]
See you tomorrow.
Uh, I'll wait for the tow.
It'll be my pleasure.
[engine starts]
[mouthing words] You and I, besties.
[chuckles]
[partygoers cheering] Happy birthday!
[Benji, Calderone] Happy birthday!
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday, dear Sophie ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
[breathing shakily]
[firefighter grunting]
[no audible dialogue]
[giggles] Thank you, Auntie.
[Calderone] Aw.
Happy birthday, little one.
[chuckles]
[chuckles] Hey, your lady fell asleep
like ten minutes ago.
- Thanks for the help. [sighs]
- Yeah, no problem.
[Benji clears throat]
Yo, what you did at the hearing
was bullshit.
Nah, nah.
I'm not dealing with this tonight.
- [grunts]
- [breathing heavily]
Don't you ever fucking
touch me like that again.
- In your own way
- [sighs]
you're as crazy as
your sisters and Mom.
Why don't you take another drink?
- Keep walking!
- [door opens]
That's your fucking specialty.
[door slams]
[breathing heavily]
[Calderone]
And I'm not looking to be [stammers]
h-hell, I can't be
some well-rounded person.
[Arch] give busywork
to your affirmative action hire
Are you filling out
some kind of quota, sweetie?
[Calderone] I'm a job.
Job is me.
[Harvey] Well, there's not many floors
your elevator can descend, dear.
[continues breathing heavily]
[Steven] Even if you eventually win,
it will be a long runway of losing
[therapist]
You will run out of road one day.
[Calderone] But not yet.
[engine starts]
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