Squiddly Diddly (1965) s01e03 Episode Script
The Canvas Back Squid
Atchoo!
How can you do this to me?
Sorry, boss.
- Me, your manager.
- Sorry, boss.
You should be in top shape
to fight the Crusher tonight.
You, the Octopus.
World champion.
And look at you.
- All chills and fever.
- Sorry boss.
I bet my last dime on you.
Atchoo!
Sorry, boss.
I just can't do it.
I'm turning in my costume.
- I quit.
- Oh, boy!
Well I find another
wrestler to meet the Crusher.
Ladies and gentlemen,
introducing for your pleasure.
The greatest juggling act
of all time. Slicker, the seal.
Big deal.
A juggling seal.
When they see my big stuff back.
The only seal to juggle
on one tail clipper.
Don't flip at this routine.
Uh-oh.
This is getting a
little out of hand.
- I mean, tentacle.
- Squiddly, get back.
Get off the stage.
I can't.
Oh no!
Okay, so I goofed a little.
Put me down.
Hi, chief.
Glad I bumped into you.
Did you see my last act?
One more goof and it
will be your last act.
Back in your tank and
stop squidding around.
What a sore head.
I'm gonna find someone
who appreciates my talent.
I've hunted all over
town for some guy
to wear this octopus
suit and fight the Crusher.
- This just isn't my day.
- A part day, sir.
Which way is Hollywood?
- That way.
- Thank you, sir.
You see,
I'm gonna be a star.
I heard they need squid actors.
A talking octopus.
Hey, this is what
I call typecasting.
Hey, wait.
Forget hollywood, kid.
I can make you a
star right here.
And I just happened to
have your costume with me.
That's right,
slip it on.
Now how much do you
know about wrestling?
You mean like this?
Yeah, that's the idea.
I thought so and
that's not for me.
I sir. Am opposed
to violence.
Oh. Come now, this
isn't real fighting.
It's all play acting.
Showbiz stuff.
You mean like this?
I wouldn't want to
hurt anyone.
I'm peaceful.
Yeah, another round
of your peaceful tactics
and I'll be in pieces.
And now ladies and gentlemen.
The main event.
In this corner.
The mysterious
Masked Octopus.
Come on, Squiddly.
Shouldn't I take off my robe?
No, leave it on.
It helps your image.
And his opponent
is the world
famous Calamity Crusher.
Hey, how come
he looks so mean?
Oh that's just part
of the game, kid.
You know, play acting.
Put in center of the
ring, gentlemen.
You know the rules.
The crusher don't
work with a referee.
It makes me feel
I'm not trusted.
Rule no. 1 is,
when in doubt,
Cut out!
Hey if this is play acting,
I better read the script.
I've been working
on a new role.
First, we stretch the arm.
Then wrap it around you.
Then give it a pull.
I'm topsing my field.
Relax, Squiddly, relax.
You're all tied up in knots.
I need my manager's advice
like I need a hit in the head.
Hey fella. Don't you ever
get any ideas of your own?
That did it.
I hate violence.
Now I'm really mad.
I'll start with an airplane spin.
Then a body slap.
That's it, Squiddly.
You got him now.
Now for a toehold.
Ouch!
Now I got your
pinned legs and arms.
Yeah?
That's what you think.
This guy's got so many arms.
You think he was
a real octopus.
I thought you knew.
I am a real octopus.
My name is Squiddly, sir.
A real octopus.
Help!
Let me out of here.
You win.
Squiddly! Squiddly!
You were great.
Great!
Come back to Bubbleland.
And I'll give you top billing.
I'll make you a star.
I've made the
big time at last.
Ladies and gentlemen
of Bubbleland.
Introducing our
new star, Squiddly.
Oh this is terrific.
But I wonder what the chief
has in mind for my new act.
Squiddley who is the
world champion wrestler.
We wrestle a challenger tonight.
- Frank, the alligator.
- Yow!
If this is show biz,
I walk out.
How can you do this to me?
Sorry, boss.
- Me, your manager.
- Sorry, boss.
You should be in top shape
to fight the Crusher tonight.
You, the Octopus.
World champion.
And look at you.
- All chills and fever.
- Sorry boss.
I bet my last dime on you.
Atchoo!
Sorry, boss.
I just can't do it.
I'm turning in my costume.
- I quit.
- Oh, boy!
Well I find another
wrestler to meet the Crusher.
Ladies and gentlemen,
introducing for your pleasure.
The greatest juggling act
of all time. Slicker, the seal.
Big deal.
A juggling seal.
When they see my big stuff back.
The only seal to juggle
on one tail clipper.
Don't flip at this routine.
Uh-oh.
This is getting a
little out of hand.
- I mean, tentacle.
- Squiddly, get back.
Get off the stage.
I can't.
Oh no!
Okay, so I goofed a little.
Put me down.
Hi, chief.
Glad I bumped into you.
Did you see my last act?
One more goof and it
will be your last act.
Back in your tank and
stop squidding around.
What a sore head.
I'm gonna find someone
who appreciates my talent.
I've hunted all over
town for some guy
to wear this octopus
suit and fight the Crusher.
- This just isn't my day.
- A part day, sir.
Which way is Hollywood?
- That way.
- Thank you, sir.
You see,
I'm gonna be a star.
I heard they need squid actors.
A talking octopus.
Hey, this is what
I call typecasting.
Hey, wait.
Forget hollywood, kid.
I can make you a
star right here.
And I just happened to
have your costume with me.
That's right,
slip it on.
Now how much do you
know about wrestling?
You mean like this?
Yeah, that's the idea.
I thought so and
that's not for me.
I sir. Am opposed
to violence.
Oh. Come now, this
isn't real fighting.
It's all play acting.
Showbiz stuff.
You mean like this?
I wouldn't want to
hurt anyone.
I'm peaceful.
Yeah, another round
of your peaceful tactics
and I'll be in pieces.
And now ladies and gentlemen.
The main event.
In this corner.
The mysterious
Masked Octopus.
Come on, Squiddly.
Shouldn't I take off my robe?
No, leave it on.
It helps your image.
And his opponent
is the world
famous Calamity Crusher.
Hey, how come
he looks so mean?
Oh that's just part
of the game, kid.
You know, play acting.
Put in center of the
ring, gentlemen.
You know the rules.
The crusher don't
work with a referee.
It makes me feel
I'm not trusted.
Rule no. 1 is,
when in doubt,
Cut out!
Hey if this is play acting,
I better read the script.
I've been working
on a new role.
First, we stretch the arm.
Then wrap it around you.
Then give it a pull.
I'm topsing my field.
Relax, Squiddly, relax.
You're all tied up in knots.
I need my manager's advice
like I need a hit in the head.
Hey fella. Don't you ever
get any ideas of your own?
That did it.
I hate violence.
Now I'm really mad.
I'll start with an airplane spin.
Then a body slap.
That's it, Squiddly.
You got him now.
Now for a toehold.
Ouch!
Now I got your
pinned legs and arms.
Yeah?
That's what you think.
This guy's got so many arms.
You think he was
a real octopus.
I thought you knew.
I am a real octopus.
My name is Squiddly, sir.
A real octopus.
Help!
Let me out of here.
You win.
Squiddly! Squiddly!
You were great.
Great!
Come back to Bubbleland.
And I'll give you top billing.
I'll make you a star.
I've made the
big time at last.
Ladies and gentlemen
of Bubbleland.
Introducing our
new star, Squiddly.
Oh this is terrific.
But I wonder what the chief
has in mind for my new act.
Squiddley who is the
world champion wrestler.
We wrestle a challenger tonight.
- Frank, the alligator.
- Yow!
If this is show biz,
I walk out.