The Beauty (2026) s01e03 Episode Script

What?
Ariana Grande too? She's like 29.
- Thirty-two.
- God forbid.
Aniston, Naomi.
All the greats got thread lifts.
- I'm telling you, the earlier the better.
- No, everyone's crazy.
Am I?
Shut up. No way.
Two weeks ago, and it's so subtle,
you literally thought
I was just hydrated, no?
Oh. Actually, I thought you looked better
because you dropped 20 on Ozempic.
Finally lost that face fat.
- Thank you for noticing.
- I love you.
Okay, but seriously, no more
slice and dice. Okay?
It's just a little tug, little poke,
and very often, okay?
That's the future of beauty.
Nuh-uh. I learned my lesson with lip filler.
It left fucking lumps.
Look at this.
Britt, my honey. Listen to me.
You're turning 32 next week.
I can literally hear your eggs shriveling
up as we speak, okay?
You need to fix that broke face,
and then you're gonna
be getting so much new dick,
that trash bag Richie will feel
like a distant memory, I promise.
- I'm sad.
- I know.
Was that whore Clara really
that much prettier than me?
- Yes. She was gorgeous.
- Bitch.
- Mmm. Look at this bitch.
- Oh. You.
Sweetie, Harper Rose,
get that tushy up right back out
the door, okay, before Anna sees you.
You know she can't stomach
human weakness, and this is
I can't. I used all my sick days
for Coachella.
I don't get it. Deathly hungover
on Rotgut Rosé. She's still a ten.
- Glowing.
- I'm not hungover, I swear.
Well, you better not be,
or you can kiss
that accessories editor gig goodbye.
Oh, no, sweetie,
not the over-the-counter cough syrup.
- Don't do that.
- You need some amaro or a digestif.
- Good God, is this COVID?
- No, no, no, not COVID.
- Get your aerosols away from my salad.
- I'm okay.
I just got run down. I caught a bug.
But the good news is
I lost another five pounds.
- Jealous. Cough on me.
- Of course.
Everybody's just shedding weight. Jesus.
- Whoa. Honey.
- What is this?
- I'm not liking this. Oh, God. You okay?
- Why are you doing this? Stop it.
Okay. Yeah, I guess drink some water or
Um. Can we
Fuck.
- Water!
- Oh, my God, yeah. There's no way that
- Water.
- What the fuck?
Water! Ah! Water!
- No! No!
- Brittany! Brittany!
No, no.
Oh, God! It's in my eye!
It's in my eye!
So, just walk us through one more time.
We'd love to button this up.
The mayor has
really been breathing down our necks
about robberies in palazzos.
I already told you,
It wasn't a robbery.
Sorry. An assault.
They tried to kill me.
And why is that?
Please, call the DGSI.
Vincent Seraphine can explain
everything to you.
- We got someone on that already.
- We've been here for four hours.
Enough.
Where's the Commissioner?
Yes, we have been here
for four hours, but you have to cooperate.
There are two bodies already.
And if you don't stop with
these shitty games,
you will have many others.
Is that a threat?
If they attacked me like that,
then your people, my partner,
everyone is in danger.
You have no idea what is happening.
We still haven't pinpointed who they are.
Whatever you're mixed up in
Mafia, a sexual thing
you better tell us.
Listen, this is your job.
I get it.
But
you are interfering
You're interfering in
an international investigation.
Yeah Mission Impossible.
Hey!
Get me the fuck out of here!
These fucking
Americans are always arrogant.
And stop with this patriotic bullshit.
Enough.
Let's go.
Never gets easier, you know.
It's like picking your favorite child.
All brilliant and beautiful in their own way.
But I see why chefs are always
drawn to Japanese steel.
The high carbon content creates
an impossibly hard edge,
which allows for a more elegant cut
and severed nerve endings. Like that.
Thoughts?
Come on. Speak up, my man.
I'm not gonna get off if you just
sit there like a sad sack.
What?
You-You thinking something a little
theatrical, right? More Braveheart.
I got you, bro. Don't worry about it.
Before you know it
You'll be on your knees ♪
Yeah.
She's an easy lover ♪
You didn't obey the rules, did you?
I don't get people your age.
Thinking you're so goddamn special,
working from home in sweatpants,
open relationships and sexual anarchy.
Nothing's sacred anymore. It's disgusting.
You signed an agreement.
You were given a sacred gift,
and you show your appreciation
by throwing your dick into strangers
and infecting others.
Better forget it
Oh, you'll regret it ♪
No, you'll never change her ♪
Lesson learned. Right?
Get out quick 'Cause seeing is believing ♪
It's the only way ♪
You'll ever know ♪
Hold, please.
Always impeccable timing, honey bear.
Status update.
Well, I'm staring at a runner prepped
and ready to go if you quit nagging.
Make it quick. There's a plastic surgeon
I need you to go see.
Ouch. You said I was beautiful
just the way I am.
He came in contact with the Venetian runner.
She contaminated at least one
other person we know of.
How exciting.
Yeah. It's in Indianapolis.
Fuck me. Are you sure?
The digital footprints never lie
Hold please.
Fucking hello!
I'm here. Happy as a clam.
At least we got the FBI on ice.
Ah. Not really. There were two more
expirations in Venice.
Well, I tried telling you
I need better help.
Stay focused.
We solve one problem at a time.
Treading water until
the production line gets wrapped up.
We got this. We're good. No worries.
Maybe I should goose the nerds along.
Maybe you should do as you're told.
Turn me loose, let me make a call
to the old Blackwater crew.
You want speed?
Get me mercs with skills. Pros.
- You know how I feel about meeting
- new people.
Well, don't expect masterpieces when
all I get is a goddamn mop and bucket.
So, how are we feeling about
some human sashimi?
Could you please give me a minute?
Take all the time you need,
you fucking asshole,
but I'm going to have dinner
because the filet is getting cold.
And by the way, we have
to talk about Tig. Bad news, I'm afraid.
Tig?
Who the fuck is Tig?
Tiger, our oldest troubled son
that you have so much contempt for,
you don't even remember his childhood
nickname. He relapsed again.
Again.
He's in a methadone clinic in Cleveland.
We're gonna take the plane tomorrow
to be by his side. I've organized it all.
Have fun. I'm going to Capri
with Jeff and Lauren.
They're actually excited about what
I have cooking up, as one would expect.
It is official, then. You are the biggest
monster on this planet.
Every night, I pray for your death.
Feel free to go fuck yourself
while you're fucking yourself.
Could we play some yacht rock?
Hey. Just letting you know
a fresh wire came through.
Should post tomorrow.
Thank you.
He asked about you again.
Jesus Christ. How many times
are we gonna do this?
It's not too late, Antonio.
We could figure something out.
He needs his father in his life.
Yeah, he needs a father. He doesn't
need me. You already know the deal.
As long as I keep the accounts full,
I'm dead to him.
Good news. There's a room
available at the Hilton.
I don't
This fucking guy
- Hello. You've reached--
- Fuck.
Still nothing.
We searched the hotel.
All the stuff is there.
No struggle, nothing on the hotel footage.
We're canvassing everywhere around the bar.
I never should have left her.
Word is, DC is freaking out.
They got a plane on standby.
No, fuck that. They went after me and
they went after her. We gotta find her.
I'm gonna get my stuff from the hotel,
then let's meet.
I had a team take care of that. Follow me.
Both of the guys you killed tested
positive. You've been exposed.
Then so have you.
I'm negative.
That's why I'm keeping my distance.
That scene was a bloodbath.
You're a walking biohazard.
Precaution must be taken.
The fuck is this?
Until we get our arms around this,
we gotta be smart.
You raise hell, we get panic
in the streets. Everything gets fucked.
- No. We don't have time for this.
- We'll find her, okay?
Find her!
My, my, Doctor. Look at the mess
you've gotten yourself into.
Uh-uh!
You don't wanna do that.
What are you, some kind of cop?
Bitch, please. Ugh. These cuts were
clearly made by somebody
with knowledge of anatomy
for easy separation.
So surely the authorities
are gonna be looking
for someone with medical training.
A surgeon, even.
No, you don't understand.
I didn't kill them.
You think I give a fuck?
I bet you even googled how to dispose
of a body, didn't you?
Playing around on the Internet
has turned you into a naughty boy
who's met some very naughty girls.
Is this about Claire?
Who the fuck are you?
Tell me about the marketplace.
Okay. It was on the dark web.
I heard about it from a colleague.
You can buy and sell medical stuff,
body parts, even.
I was curious, so I took a look.
You thought you stumbled
onto a miracle, didn't you?
She was stunning, but I figured she must
be nuts, so I said, "No, thanks."
But you just couldn't help yourself.
She sold you something
that didn't belong to her.
Yeah.
- Oh, fuck. Fuck. I didn't know.
- Fuck.
I swear it was only the one client.
Jeremy, a fucking incel.
He was going to kill me.
- Pinky promise?
- What?
Okay. He did this. He's a fucking psycho.
I'm the fucking psycho.
Certified since 1961. Where is he?
I don't know.
Please. Please, please.
Oh, God!
Do you have any idea what kind
of luxury wasteland this town is?
I mean, look, I was really enjoying
our productive dialogue.
However, if I'm not wheels up soon,
I'm gonna freak the fuck out.
Please help me!
- Do I deserve more than a Hilton?
- What?
Answer me, Doc. Do I deserve more
than the fucking Hilton?
Yes, yes! Oh, my God, yes!
I agree.
People always accuse me of being
a high-maintenance girlie and impatient.
I'm just, like, "Excuse me
for having an aversion
to bedbugs and dry jizz stains," right?
If I'm gonna be doing
the dirty work for these people,
best believe I deserve the best.
Find him, Doc.
Before you lose more than the arm.
Yeah. Oh.
Who's calling your boy?
Who's calling big daddy?
What's up, Doc? Talk to your boy.
Jeremy, hi. Just following up
to make sure you're feeling well
and happy with your Nu U results.
My results, Doc? Oh, these results.
They-They-They are something else.
You did your damn thing. Whoo!
Ooh, you hear that, Doc?
You're still in town?
I was supposed to leave.
Hold on a second. Hold on, Doc.
Flip around. This way. Give me that leg.
You lie there, baby.
Ooh! You got some pretty feet.
You got some pretty feet.
I'm still here, Doc. 'Cause this kitty cat
was talking to me.
Excellent. Let's have you come
in for a quick follow-up.
You, uh, need a second dosage
to maintain the effects of the procedure.
What? Why didn't you tell me that before?
Where are you, Jeremy?
I can even come to you. Please.
You fucking with me. Come over
right now, Doc, 'cause I'm in it.
I'm in this thing like jelly.
Peanut butter jelly time
Peanut butter jelly time ♪
I'm at the Hyatt downtown
till this kitty stops purring.
Hit the home run, hit the home run, hit the
I did what you asked.
You did.
Thanks, Doc.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
We did it. Thank you.
I know. Fantastic new look,
but then, blammo, life just comes
at you real fast, doesn't it?
Get off me.
I like you. Jeremy, as a man
of radical honesty,
I'll just come right out and say it.
I'm a professional eliminator of problems
and my boss has decided you're a problem.
Fuck you. Fuck your boss.
I didn't do shit.
I'm done fucking around with you, Jeremy.
Real piece that Claire bear was, wasn't she?
Yeah. Well, as the saying goes,
if it feels too good to be true.
I don't see any condom wrappers around here,
so I'm assuming that you went
raw dog with this one too.
What was I supposed to do?
She came on to me, man.
You didn't tell her about your little
STD situation, did you?
What?
You're not even the slightest
bit curious as to how or why
or what made you this way?
No. I mean, I was just shocked
she was kind of into me.
Call her.
I'm sure she gave you her number.
Call her.
- Hey, pudding.
- Who is this?
- Who is You don't have my number saved?
- No.
What? It's me, chocolate daddy.
What are you wearing?
You're so sexy.
Well, if I'm so sexy,
why don't you come on up?
If I wasn't home in my bed,
I'd be in the elevator right now.
She said she went home.
You told me you was getting off at 7:00.
I went home early. I feel like shit.
I think I'm coming down with something.
This crazy fever
just, like, hit me out of nowhere.
Well, listen, baby. I got a fever
that only that ass can cure.
- Mmm. Tell you what, I'll come to you.
- Really?
Yeah, I'll come for you.
I'll-I'll bring you NyQuil, Gatorade,
Tylenol, a couple of bananas,
the good homestyle chicken soup,
ginger ale and a Ritz cracker.
- Let daddy do that for you.
- You're an angel.
I'll text you my address.
Chocolate daddy coming for you, baby.
I'm on the way. I'm on the way.
You're a sick fuck, ain't you? Okay, get
your clothes and shoes on. Ticktock.
No, I'm not leaving here without her.
If you test negative, you're getting
on the goddamn plane, Cooper.
This New York thing is fucked.
Look, we will find her.
I'm throwing everything at it.
Let me stay here and lead the team.
Look, I put my nuts
on the line for this thing.
I still got some friends over at Langley.
They put a QRF on standby.
Some real Black Hawk Down shit.
Do you remember what you told me
after my brother got jammed up in Boston
and I wanted to lean on those local cops?
Jammed up? He got hammered
and ran into a seven-Eleven.
What did you tell me?
Yeah, I get it. Too close to it.
I listened. Now it's your turn.
You beat this shit, and we need you here
so we can have all hands putting
together the pieces of this thing.
All clear, sir.
You are five minutes from your destination.
All right, time to pregame.
Yep.
Counterintuitive, I know,
but, uh, you know, just yacht rock
just lasers my focus like nothing else.
Come on, Jeremy. Hey.
Well, it's not far down to paradise
At least it's not for me ♪
And if the wind is right
You can sail away, find tranquility ♪
Oh, the canvas can do miracles ♪
Just you wait and see ♪
Hey.
Believe me ♪
It's not far to never never land ♪
No reason to pretend ♪
And if the wind is right
You can find the joy ♪
Of innocence again ♪
Oh, the canvas can do miracles ♪
Just you wait and see ♪
Believe me ♪
Right here, Jeremy.
Sailing ♪
Takes me away
To where I've always heard it could be ♪
Take the last part.
Come on, Jeremy. Sing the next part.
I don't know this song. So, I'ma just
Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Don't you dare disrespect
Christopher Cross
and try to escape in the middle
of his biggest hit, okay?
- The man has been through enough.
- What the fuck are you talking about?
Christopher crisscross? What the fuck?
In 1980, Christopher Cross
was the shit, right?
Five times platinum.
Five major Grammys.
After all the accolades and success,
what did it get him, huh?
- Je What-What did it get him? Hello?
- No, really I don't know.
Black people don't listen
to Christopher Cross.
- What are you talking?
- I don't know, man.
Put his career in the grave. That's what.
Now, I'm sure you're asking yourself,
how could that possibly have happened?
Well, he got really popular really fast.
And this is in an era without
all the 24-7 social media bullshit.
So, then he starts showing up
to the award shows and red carpets.
And then people really get their first
good look at him, and they're like,
"He's just-just a regular guy."
A little balding, a little fat.
I loved him. Voice of a generation.
But with MTV exploding onto the scene,
shit just only got worse.
You know, it's like, why would you wanna
watch a music video of a real person
when you could be watching a gyrating,
half-naked Madonna, right?
So, next time you're tugging on that
thick, wet, noodle dick
- Stop touching my shit.
- Remember that.
Okay?
World is cruel to people who aren't
beautiful. To normal people.
Fucking cruel.
Learn the fucking words to that song.
Wow.
Nice neighborhood.
Come on.
Come on, Jeremy. Walk.
All right.
There we go.
- I don't think she's home.
- Come on, come on. Ring the bell again.
- All right. Time-out. Corner. Over there.
- What?
Time-out. Corner. Over there.
Stay over there.
Okay.
All right, open up.
Hello?
Hello?
Up the steps.
Hello.
Shit.
What
Enough. Enough!
Come on.
- Brain or heart?
- What?
This isn't a happily ever after situation.
I just saved your life.
And in return, I'm not gonna
spend the afternoon
turning you into a medieval art project.
So, you wanna see it coming
or is that gonna make it scarier?
You know what?
Come on, get up, turn around.
Turn around. Relax.
Thank you for giving me what I deserve.
Stop talking.
I ain't shit. I haven't been
my whole life. I'm just a fucking loser
that had to kill people
to feel something. I ain't shit.
Probably why my Pops left.
So, just come on and give it to me.
Pull it. Pull the fucking trigger, man.
This is the part where people usually
get, you know, really, really desperate
and beg and bargain.
So, come on, Jeremy. Beg.
- Beg.
- Beg for what?
What do you want me to beg for, man?
What you want me to beg for?
I have nothing.
I have nothing, man.
And I spent my entire life
just wanting to feel.
And goddamn it, it felt so good.
So do it. Pull that trigger.
Just go on. Do it now. Pull the trigger.
You can do it. Pull the trigger, man.
You hungry?
- What?
- Yeah.
Well, you made this about
as fun as a sandpaper hand job
and my blood sugar's going crazy.
So, let's get something to eat.
Oh, my God, would you look
at this little slice of heaven?
Dale, since this is my first time
at Applebee's,
would you kindly advise because let me
tell you something, man, I'm torn.
I'm torn between the chicken wonton tacos
and this, this right
this delightful riblet entrée.
Well, those are my two favorites.
Can't go wrong.
Come on. It's a gift.
I'm able to look at any menu
and detect the best entrées. It's crazy.
You know what, can you just give us two
minutes and, um, we'll make our decisions.
Just let us know when our table is ready.
- You got it.
- We'll be right here.
Thank you, Dale.
Where every meal feels like home.
Look, if I wasn't on the clock,
I would be slamming
these spicy marg specials.
This place is heaven.
How much longer are you gonna
be fucking with me, Captain O?
Jeremy, Jeremy, smile. We're having fun.
You try running out of here,
you try one false goddamn move,
and I will liquefy your dick.
- The people behind us are looking.
- What?
Smile. Smile at 'em.
Smile at the people behind us.
- Smile?
- The people behind.
Why is she
Why are they looking at us like that?
You're attractive now.
Gotta get used to it.
She like that.
Yeah, she like that.
That's the queen of spades right there.
The what?
Queen of spades. You d
You a big, fat square.
You ain't never heard of queen of spades?
A white woman who loves sucking,
tugging, rubbing on Black dudes.
Well, specifically BBC.
Big Black--
Cock. Big Black cock. BBC.
That's what it stands for.
Big Black Cock.
- Wow.
- Yeah, that's them BBC's.
And the husband, they like to get involved.
They like to put their phones out,
take photos, videos. But you know what?
She's Mmm. She's bringing me back.
Never forget it. There was this girl.
Butterfly Booty Meat 92.
Never forget it. I drove 17 miles
for her in my mama's car.
I watched the smile fade
when I pulled my hard, throbbing dick out,
just right there ready for her.
She look at me and says,
"Ugh, I thought it might be bigger."
- Damn.
- Bitch, I sent you the photos.
What the fuck? What the fuck is that?
Right. Her fault. Crazy.
Gentlemen, your table awaits.
- I never quite lived up to the fantasy.
- Just keep walking.
You know, without the right dick, I'm trash.
Just keep smiling.
- But not anymore.
- Yeah. You guys look cute together.
Not anymore.
Fuck it.
No. No, keep oversharing. I'm interested.
Before the change,
from what I'm understanding
about your situation, you were
- Not attractive.
- You hated yourself?
I hated the way the world
made me feel about myself.
You know, let's-let's keep it real.
White dudes, light skinned men,
they get more.
More women, more dates,
more attention. More, more, more.
I don't know why I'm not filming you 24-7.
I feel like I'll win a goddamn Oscar.
Complimentary fries for the table.
- Dale, thank you.
- You're welcome. Are you ready to order?
You know what? We are, actually.
Yeah. We're gonna do those riblets.
- Good choice.
- Thank you. Come on.
Why you keep fussing with that thing?
You blow up people for a living.
And you know scars, they are kinda badass.
You focus on the wrong side of my face.
You and me, we have a lot more
in common than you realize.
Oh, shit.
Ooh. Ooh. You-You got it too?
Early adopter. More purified
version straight from the lab.
Highly experimental envelope-pushing gene
therapy using viral RNA technology.
To put it more simply, um,
near complete ground-up turbocharged remodel
of your physical self on a cellular level.
Experimental.
One dose.
One dose of this is the closest thing
to the fountain of youth
any human is ever gonna get.
Which of course comes with
Take Ozempic.
Pharma company is valued at 500 billion.
What do you think this germ's gonna
be worth, huh? One trillion, 500 trillion?
So, then when a yahoo lab tech
steals a trial version,
and he starts fucking
and spreading this shit?
- Now we have a problem.
- Black market.
But the sexual transmission
is, uh-- is more of a bug than a feature.
Like the easy access account prevents
people from wanting to spend money
on the expensive name-brand shit.
And that is poison for a company
who's gearing up for an IPO.
So, then they hire somebody like me.
A consultant.
Right.
To, uh, take care of their problems.
I bet that pays well enough for
these bitches to look past
that Bond villain face you got going on.
Yeah, well, no wonton housewife's kicking
me out of bed, chubby bubby.
Mm-hmm.
That. That right there.
No, you didn't bolt from the maid's house
when you had a chance.
Now, somewhere in that fucked up
bird's nest you got up there,
you saw another opportunity to kill,
and you felt compelled to take it.
You got a real darkness in you.
- You know, my son's a bit like you.
- Your son?
You're like 30 years old.
How old is this son?
I'm 65 years old.
You're a lot like my son, but he's having
a rough go at it right now.
It's not fun to see,
but, you know, fortunately for him,
he has the tools to find his way through it.
But you on the other hand. No, no, no.
You're like one of those dim bulbs
that just step on every fucking rake
that the world has laying around.
Cultivate your anger.
You know, maybe, uh, maybe even get paid
while we're at it, right?
What is this? Some
assassin big brother program?
Think of it as a mutual agreement.
I have needs as well.
What do you need?
A protégé. A killer.
Two riblets.
Wow. Thank you, Dale.
Top marks for speed, my brother.
Big tip, brother.
This guy. Wow.
Dig in.
So, she literally exploded?
Yes.
I looked at the Paris photos.
So much worse than that.
I was outside.
Hear the blast radius was internal.
Encapsulated. You saw the scene?
I did.
Liver temperature ten hours
after incident is 180 degrees.
Holy shit. It's still that high?
Brittany!
Monroe.
What is this?
Condé Nast staffers in the blast range
who instantly tested positive.
Some of them got bodily fluids
in their eyes, their mouths.
Typical mucous membrane transmission.
Viral load levels are all over the map.
- What are we doing with them?
- Awaiting instruction.
Your interview subject is traumatized
but cooperative. So far.
Not positive?
Not yet.