The Celebrity Traitors (2025) s01e03 Episode Script

1
This programme
contains some strong language
19 celebrities arrived to play
the ultimate murder mystery
These dastardly Traitors,
we've got to find them.
..all in the hope of winning up to
£100,000 for their chosen charity.
Oh!
Three Traitors were chosen
THEY LAUGH
..before they were given
a deadly task.
"Tonight you must murder
in plain sight."
"Rub your hands with
the poison pollen"
"..and touch the face of the
Faithful you want to murder."
You've got a bit of hair
in your face. Oh, thanks.
I feel awful.
And as the killing season began
SHOCKED GASPS
That is flabbergasting!
..suspicions continued to grow.
Tameka, I sensed a real change
in your behaviour.
The overreaction wasn't to the word
"Traitor" from you,
it was to the word "Faithful".
At the Round Table,
before and after,
you had an impeccable poker face.
But who will be the first to
be banished at the Round Table?
I voted for Kate.
Kate. Niko.
Niko, I've wrote your name down.
This is The Celebrity Traitors.
# I'm seeing red
# Nothing can stop me now #
So, a vote count.
Three for Kate, three for Niko,
two for Tameka, one for Tom.
Stephen, who do you believe
is a Traitor and why?
HE SIGHS
I've written down your name, Niko.
With very little conviction
and very little evidence.
I would have had
even less conviction
writing anybody else's name down.
That's the best I can do for you
and I'm very sorry.
Joe Wilkinson.
I put you, Tom.
That's only cos I thought
you'd be cracking at it. Sorry.
Celia.
I've put Charlotte,
because I can't imagine
that anybody would think
the nation's beautiful songstress
would ever be a Traitor,
but she just might.
Jonathan, who do you believe
is a Traitor?
Well, I don't know if I believe it,
but the name I've written down
is Niko.
Umyou gave a great defence
and that,
but I think you are smart enough
to do a double bluff,
then a triple bluff
and play that brilliantly,
so I very much hope I'm right,
but that's why I've put you down.
Charlotte.
So, I believe Niko is a Traitor.
I think that you would be
absolutely excellent.
Clare.
Niko, I have also written your name
down and I want you to take it
as the biggest compliment,
cos I think you would be
a cracking Traitor.
David.
I've put down Niko,
not because of the events of today
but because of suspicions I had
from the first day.
Tom.
I've also put Niko.
I think you'd make a great Traitor.
And, finally, Nick.
Um, Niko, yeah.
You're absolutely brilliant.
Niko,
you have received the most votes.
Please come up here and join me.
Niko, you have received
the most votes
and you are banished
from the castle forever.
Please revealare you a Traitor
or are you a Faithful?
First things first,
I just want to say,
can't believe I'm out so quickly,
but it's been an honour getting
to know every single one of you.
You're all great people.
I can now reveal
that this whole time
I've been honest
..and I'm a Faithful.
Oh, no!
How stupid are we? Seriously.
How did that happen?
It was, like, more than half of us.
Niko!
# Zombie, zombie #
Players, today you managed
to lose two brilliant Faithful.
And I'm afraid
matters are only going to get worse.
The Traitors
will murder again tonight
and this time it will be swift.
God!
So, you might want to sleep
with the light on.
Poor Niko.
I'm kicking myself.
I'm so disappointed.
I think we should at least consider
what he said about being set up,
or just that we are idiots.
I'd be lying if I didn't tell you
that I did feel bad for Niko.
I do think he's very smart
and he's funny.
He really was really impressive.
If I wasn't a Traitor,
I think he would have swayed me.
Oh, God!
Oh, my gosh!
That felt awful, didn't it? Yeah.
They've set him up, though,
ain't they? Yeah.
I can't believe it!
Everybody turned against me.
I was so mortified!
If it happens again next time,
I'll make a really big point.
Yeah. I've got your back.
I was so shocked, I thought
we'd got our first Traitor.
I really did believe it,
but we were so wrong
and we lost someone who, I think,
would have been brilliant
at playing this game.
Earlier on when we were in the car,
you mentioned two names
you had heavy suspicions of, but
you didn't mention in there. Yeah,
because when I was in there,
I was swayed by Niko
and I regret
going with herd mentality.
I wish I'd spoken up about Kate.
So you think possibly Kate,
out of those two? Yeah.
It has been surprisingly
frustrating, this game,
being able to find the balance
of saying what you want to say
to try and find Traitors,
but then at the same time
remaining as Faithful as possible
that you don't get
put on the chopping block.
Sotonight's going to be
a rough night.
I've watched a lot of Niko.
My kids are obsessed with him.
Cos it was getting to the
I know I voted for him,
so I'm chicken as well, but I didn't
know who else to go for!
I know you, I think you two are
Trai You know it's not me.
ALL SHOU
You want to go for it, then? No, no,
you two are Faithful. I know that.
I don't think you're a Traitor,
I just hadn't heard
any other names at that point.
But I don't understand
why you think I'm a Traitor.
You think I've changed?
I just became aware of
your energy change, that's all.
Um, it's the kind of
change in your demeanour.
Whether it's me looking for it
Yeah. ..I don't know.
I am so shocked that Mark thinks
that I'm a Traitor,
so I will be keeping an eye out
for Mark.
I am thinking he is a Traitor,
so I'm not sure if I'm going
to get murdered tonight.
Just don't know in this game.
Quick one. We were in the car
with Jonathan and Niko
right at the beginning,
before anyone was chosen.
Jonathan wanted to create
an alliance straight off.
You form alliances with people,
that might swing it in your favour.
Yeah. Some people
know each other already.
I don't know anyone.
We're in trouble!
No, you're not. And you've got two
older allies here already. Exactly.
I was going to bring that up today
at the Round Table and I didn't.
You think Jonathan? Well,
I am thinking That's a wild one.
Do you think that's wild?
I've never thought of him.
That is the game,
it could genuinely be anybody.
Whoever these Traitors are,
they're fucking brilliant!
LAUGHTER
No, but they are!
Don't say brilliant. They are!
# Ultraviolet
# You see through #
CLOCK CHIMES
Goodnight, everyone. Night, Joe.
Hopefully see you in the morning.
Yeah, sleep tight.
After you, Number One. Thank you.
Thank you, Number Two.
So, the first banishment,
and the Faithful
aren't off to the greatest start.
Niko is banished.
Everyone must now return
to their individual lodgings,
but the Traitors are going to meet
and decide who to murder.
# No, I can't hide it
# When you're ultraviolet. #
Oh-ho!
That What a day! What a day!
That was a full day of Traitoring.
That was hard. Yeah.
I did feel sorry for Paloma
and Niko and I think
Oh, I felt bad for them.
..we just We can't allow that.
I know. We're Traitors.
But it does make us look like
very good Faithfuls. I think so.
Do you think everyone's
looking at us and thinking
that we're feeling it
the same way they are? Yes. Good.
I will say, I have heard your names.
Ruth mentioned your name.
I got a feeling
Ruth was sussing me out. Yeah.
Alan Who's mentioned my name?!
So, Clare said in the car.
Clare? Right! Clare said in the car,
she said,
"Who's the least likely person
"to have been able
to murder Paloma?"
I don't know how you should
feel about that. Right, Clare.
So, shall we say who do we think
we should murder?
Tom doesn't trust anyone,
I don't think. No. No.
I think he's a massive risk.
He's very perceptive and he's
noticing all the little things.
Yeah. And I think
if we did go for Tom,
it doesn't put us on anyone's back.
Clare?
I love the impact of it,
just killing Clare.
Everyone's going to be like
They're going to be like
headless chickens.
"Why would you kill Clare?"
Clare's been quite vocal
about her issue with Kate.
That's true, that's true.
So, killing Clare
could help pin it on Kate more.
I want impact.
I want Breakfast tomorrow,
I want them to be running scared.
The other route we can also take is
being completely and utterly random
and going for someone
like Joe Wilkinson.
I think Joe is a dangerous Faithful,
because he is smart, I think.
Look at the way he very, very
casually and confidently just said,
"I've spoken to Niko,
I don't think it's him,
"I'm not going to go with him."
He's not a sheep.
He is someone who's going to make up
his mind and absolutely stick to it,
and I don't think you'll be able
to defend yourself against him. No.
No. So, we've got Clare. Yeah.
We've got Joe. Joe. Yeah.
And we've got Tom. Tom Daley. Yeah.
So, we're all agreed, I think.
Yeah. Yeah. Cos this is going to
come as a huge shock.
They need their wings clipped.
They're not going to know what hits
them. I feel good about this.
So do I. Yeah.
Who wants to do the honours?
I'll do it.
I've got a taste for it now.
You really are getting into this,
aren't you? Yeah!
LAUGHS
# We've got a hunger
# I've got a need #
EXHALES
Shall we deliver it? Yeah.
Let's do it. Let's do it.
Let's get murdering.
# And here I am
# And here I am
# All the luck in the world,
it won't mean a thing
# Oh, here I am
# Mm-hm-mm-mm-mm
# So here I am. #
Last night, the Traitors
committed their second murder,
but who will make it
to breakfast this morning?
# I'm losing my favourite game #
Oh, we're first in!
Oh, we are! First in.
We're the first. First to survive.
# First to survive! #
Oh, my goodness.
Two crosses, of course.
Ah! How's everybody feeling
about last night?
Somebody had to go, but
I'm sorry it was Niko, because
he was young and enthusiastic
and Traitors will have listened
to him, and how he defended himself.
Yes, and learnt.
That was a great defence, I thought.
Yesterday, urgh,
we're going to have to be better
than that, aren't we?
That really was a disaster.
I suppose the day will come
when I'll see my name
on someone's slate and I don't know
what that'll be like.
A stab in the heart, won't it?
KNOCK ON DOOR
Ooh, 'ello.
Come in. Come in.
Yay!
OVERLAPPING EXCITED CHA
Hello!
This morning,
I feel all right, actually.
I don't think
any eyes are on me.
This is great, by the way.
This is my tribute to Claudia.
Oh! I love it! So good.
How's it going?
Oh, my God, Niko.
Oh, don't.
I was too convinced.
Yeah, totally. Too sure.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Here we go!
Here's a knock! Come in!
CHEERING, EXCITED CHA
Lucy and Joe! Yes!
Yay! He's back, he's back.
Oh, that's very good.
He's back. Yes, yeah.
RUTH:I'm delighted
to be here for another day,
but I do think,
collectively, as a group,
we all need to grow a pair and start
saying what we actually think.
You know, like, last night,
I don't know if you felt,
it was quite emotional, that, and I
was quite upset What? Which one?
You were quite upset? It didn't
stop you voting for him, though.
No, but I felt bad about it
afterwards and I also felt
I was almost swayed by it.
What happened to that alliance? Huh?
I didn't have That you made
in the car? I never had
Yeah, you did. Not with Niko,
I didn't. Yeah, you did.
He was in our car the first day,
wasn't he?
And I didn't have an alliance
with anyone in the car.
I'm not forming
You said to us in the car, day one,
"We're all going to look after
each other. This is an alliance."
Yeah, but you know what?
If you think someone's a Traitor,
you've got to go for it.
Yeah, he kind of stabbed Niko
in the back there, um, you know,
and I've no doubt
that that dagger's going
straight in my back,
probably sometime soon as well.
So, who is left now?
Celia, Tom
Clare. ..Clare.
Alan. Alan. That's it.
Those four.
Ooh!
I mean, they are major players,
somehow. Yeah. You know what I mean?
They are big figures.
That's shocking, one of those.
They'd better not have killed Celia.
If Celia's gone Bloody hell,
that'sany one of those. I'm not
confident that Tom is not a Traitor.
KNOCK ON DOOR
ALL GASP
Hello!
CHEERING
It's Tom!
Tom's gone!
It's Tom! Tom's gone.
Oh! I don't believe it!
He was next on my list as a Traitor,
to be honest.
Have we arrived at consensus?
ALL:Tom Daley!
He's super smart.
Yep. Very perceptive.
Lots of people will
eventually get onto us.
Yep, yep. And maybe we can steer
the blame towards another Faithful.
Yes. Yes.
By the way, gold medals
don't count as shields, do they?
No!
LAUGHTER
Oh, dear!
Look at that.
"Dear Tom, by order of the Traitors,
you have been murdered."
Signed, "The Traitors."
Well, that didn't take long, did it?
I am gutted to be leaving the game.
I think I was murdered because
I think people see me as a threat
and I think they might think
I'll weasel them out eventually.
Now I guess I've got to go and do
one final dive into my grave.
I'm really shocked by that.
I'm shocked. Yeah.
But, you see, he is smart,
he is a threat.
Why has Tom gone?
I was furious, because I thought,
"How can there not be Tom
in this room?"
andyou know, added to the fact
I've known him since he was
like 12 years old.
So, yeah, I felt really bereft.
I can't work that out.
Can you?That's crazy.
I can't work out, why would you?
Why?Why did they get rid of Tom?
Because he's a threat,
because he's so damn smart.
Because he's a really good
game player. Because he's smart.
ALAN:It was just the kind
of impact I wanted.
People couldn't believe it.
"Where's Tom?" "Why Tom?"
Well, he's been murdered.
Deal with it.
PEACOCK CALLS
Oh, 'ello.
Oh, my goodness. Good morning.
Good morning, players.
ALL:Morning.
So, as you can see, the murdering
has continued,
and poor Tom is dead.
Oh, my goodness. Aw.
I love Tom, so this isn't personal,
but it is tradition.
ALL GASP
HE STIFLES A LAUGH
Wow. He won gold for this country.
That wasn't enough.
Pretty soon, it'll be time for a
mission where you can add money
to the prize fund.
And I leave you with this -
a chain is only as strong
as its weakest link.
I'll see you soon.Mm
So, are they going to try and find
a weak link?
Are we building something
with a weak link?
We've got to get a Traitor today,
though, haven't we?
We get a Traitor today.
We've got to get one.
We've got to get a Traitor today.
I hope so. I admire your optimism.
I don't feel remotely convinced!
Wow. I might just get
some fresh air.
I'm absolutely gutted about Tom.
He's one of the good guys.
He was wonderful, and, like, losing
that level of observance
Yeahamongst us.
I mean, who gets rid of an Olympian?
Totally!
You!
I don't think he's done
enough for this country.
LAUGHTER
Why do you think
they got rid of Tom?
Well, look, I was in a car
with him once on the way back
and I said to him,
"Who are you thinking, Tom?"
His two top picks
were Kate and Clare,
but if they're just voting
for someone
cos they've mentioned their name,
and everyone knows they've mentioned
their nameOh, right.
..I don't think they would do that
necessarily, cos that's
It's too easy to trace
it back to them.
I'm sort of trying to pin the blame
of Tom's murder onto Kate and Clare
but as long as they banish someone
who is a Faithful, then it's a win.
I'm kind of furious, because, um
Oh, what?
Tom was such a bloody good
competitor.
And interestingly as well,
I might have been He might have
come up for discussion
again tonight.
So why would you kill him?
Why would you kill him?
He's too much of a threat.
You see, he remembers too much.
He was too much of a threat.
I mean, that's just spec
Jonathan
No, I'm there with you as well.
He Cos he did say in the car
that we were all going to make
an alliance, didn't he?
Yeah, but he wouldn't have known
then. Driving into
No. He's just thinking
he needed friends.
No, but do
you think that was game play
because he wanted to be a Traitor?
Oh, I think
he certainly wants to be a Traitor.
Whether he is or not
is another matter. Yeah.
He lied point blank
about the whole alliance thing.
Don't piss in my ear
and tell me it's raining.
LikeI know what I heard.
PEACOCK CALLS
Here we go!
A fun day out with
all the weird family!
LAUGHTER
The prize pot currently stands
at £19,500.
In today's mission,
the Traitors and Faithful
will have to work together
if they want to bank more money.
Let's do this, then, shall we?
There's no way there won't be
an absolute massive legend
amongst the Traitors.
In the Traitors.
Yeah. I believe that.
But, then, do we start looking at
people like Stephen and Alan Carr,
and, actually, you, Jonathan,
to be honest?
Well, no, you know what? I'm really
happy for my name to come up.
Are you? Because all our names
are going to come up.
I'm a Faithful. I'm not
worried about it in the slightest.
You can tackle it head-on. Yeah.
Jesus, we can't
move for Traitors in this place.
Just trust everybody,
so I don't really
That's how you ended up
in the coffin.
Well, Alan I don't think
would kill Paloma.
But that'd be twist of the century.
Yeah.
Also, he'll probably have
to move to Mexico
and change his name
once he gets out.
# My radar sends me danger
# But my instincts tell me to #
Oh, hang on.
Oh, my God!
Oh, look at these.
Creep Oh, my heavens!
Oh, God, how scary!
Gold-faced cloak people.
Jesus, I don't like it.
Are they statues? I don't think
they're real people, are they?
Oh, my God, it is
They're coming to get us. No!
SHE SHRIEKS
ALL EXCLAIM
No, no, what's happening?
SHE SHRIEKS
Get out of it!
Leave us alone!
Oh, oh! Goodbye. Nice knowing you.
These sort of spooky
Cybermen in cloaks
gently led us away, which
Oh, the gentleness is almost
more kind of sinister.
Oh, my God!
What do these weirdos want?
And then we see Claudia's cabin.
That's horrible.
We're just terrified to know
what's going to happen inside.
DOOR SQUEAKS
After you, then, Cat.
Oh, no, this feels like scary.
When we walked into this cabin,
we were all genuinely scared.
Oh, what is going on?
Chains and locks. Oh, my gosh!
The roof was caving in.
It smelt. It was like damp
and it was really, really eerie.
Ooh, look out. Oh, hello.
Oh, my gosh! Chaining people?
The Druids chained us
..to a big metal ring in the centre
of the cabin.
I've forgotten my safe word
that means, "Ring my agent."
# Let me breathe
# Oh, leave me something to breathe
# Let me breathe
# In, out
# Let me, let me,
let me breathe #
Players,
welcome to the worst team-building
awayday experience in history.
SOMEONE BREAKS WIND
LAUGHTER
What just happened?
I just farted, Claudia.
I'm so sorry. Celia!
I'm so sorry.
It's nerves, but I always own up.
I know, I always own up too.
Guys, settle.
As you can see,
you are all chained up.
Here's the lovely news.
There are 16 keys.
You have 25 minutes in which
to release yourselves.
For every player that is released
and is outside the cabin with me,
I will add £500 to the pot.
So, today you could add a whopping
£8,000 to the prize fund.
A tiny tip - there are four keys
hidden inside here.
The rest are outside.
A key can only be used once,
and also on that key is a clue as
to where to find the next one.
There are two shields.
They are outside the cabin
and there are clues to how to find
them.
OK, remember,
for every player that is released,
£500 will be earned.
And try, if you canhave fun.
Who wants to go first four, or not?
Someone who's good at puzzles,
which is Nick.
Stephen's good at puzzles.
I'm not the best at puzzles,
but I'm good at looking.
I'm good at looking and I'm fast.
Players, your 25 minutes starts
Three, two, one, now!
OK, OK,
let's start looking everywhere.
What about under the thing?
Anybody see anything?
I can't see a thing.
Oh, there we go.
Something's just fallen.
Argh! Here!
There we are. Brilliant.
There's one. Here! Mark.
Yep. Thank you.
When those keys dropped down,
Stephen, Cat, Mark and myself
were able to uncuff ourselves.
Yeah.
Oh, the clue is
Water pump, is it? Water pump.
OK, right. Go, go, go! OK!
A water pump. A water pump.
Oh, here, here, here.
OK, OK.
So, what does it say?
Does it say anything?
Ah Yeah, yeah.
We've got the pump.
Fill this, er
Why is it so leaky?
Fill something
Fill You have to fill something.
Fill that with this water.
Oh, here, there, there. It's that.
There it is.
Oh, yes, fill this with water.
That's what it is.
There was three keys in the bottom
of it that would float up
as you filled the receptacle.
A holey bucket, for God's sake!
The little watering cans, oil cans,
they all had holes in. Ha-ha
So, psh, psh, psh! Fill it up.
Pshh! Out they went.
Oh, getting very wet.
Thanks.
What they're about to find out
is everything they do out here
has a consequence
for the people in the cabin.
Just chill out now.
Oh, water! Oh!
Oh!
ALL EXCLAIM
Cold brown dirty water
pouring everywhere
over everybody.
ALL EXCLAIM
Nothing like the sound
of screaming celebrities.
Oh, my God!
Oh! Oh, my God!
No!
What are they doing out there?!
I was absolutely soaking.
I mean, it was like water torture.
Hurry up!
Hurry up, you dickheads!
Slow business. Jeez!
We could hear people screaming
and I just thought,
"Thank the universe
that I am not in there."
I was It's filling up, though.
Look, it's filling up. Argh!
It's filling up. You're not going
to drown, Tameka, are you?
Oh, God. Oh, my God!
Covering the holes if you can.
If you do this So sorry.
Hurry up!
Are you all right?
Do you want to go?
I need to get out. I can't help you.
I can't help you in here.
Come on, guys!
Do you want to get out? Yes.
Can we have a key for Celia?
She'd like to go next.
Before she farts again!
LAUGHTER
She's going to blow!
That was a good one.
Yeah, that was a good one.
Yep, yep, yep, I've got it,
I've got it, I've got it!
There's three. Here.
Oh, brilliant.
Who are they going to release?
Please release Celia. I love her.
Quick, hurry up!
Celia! Celia, Celia.
Celia! Lucy, Lucy!
Who's next? Tameka, Tameka.
Tameka. She's desperate!
I'm out, and I'm like,
"Thank you Lord Jesus,"
because I didn't want to drown.
What the hell is that? Any idea
what this is? Don't know.
Oh, here, here, here!
Here we are.
Oh, look, the keys are here.
So there's only two.
Loosen everything off, I think.
So, seven of them
are out of the cabin.
That means, so far, they've raised
£3,500.
Nobody has gone for a Shield yet.
Oh, no,
we need to find, um, er, screws.
Screws.
Here we go, here we go.
Oh, great, great.
Ah! Spanner for it. Oh, my God!
We had to slide the keys which were
located at one end of the pipe
to the other,
but in order to do that,
you had to kind of unscrew loads
of bits and bobs attached to it.
As soon as we take this apart,
the keys will come off.
Got to disassemble the whole pipe.
OK, first one's out.
ELECTRICAL FIZZING AND CRACKLING
Argh! What is it?
God, there's an enormous bolt
in here. There we are, got it.
THEY SHRIEK
Fuses have blown.
Unscrew the taps,
they just unscrew by themselves.
Er, we need a spanner for this.
Yeah, turn.
What is it?!
This is the worst hotel
I've ever stayed in.
It went from the waterworks going,
to the fuse box losing the plot
ALAN SCREAMS
..and the lights flashing.
It was like
being in a live exorcism.
SHRIEKING
Ooh!
Ah! Stop doing that,
it's tense enough!
I would say the worst part of that
mission was having to
stand next to Kate.
I'm pretty sure one of my eardrums
is now perforated.
KATE SCREAMS
Stop it!
What are you doing, guys?
We're coming!
We're coming, darlings, sorry!
Screwdriver! Oh, my God!
Oh! Who's the next lock?
Joe, they might need your muscle.
ALAN:I think the two Joes.
Yeah. Great.
OK, here we go. Right, go, go, go!
Yay! Oi-oi-oi-oi! Well done.
The satisfaction!
Slid it back
and then the keys came out,
and we released more people.
OK. Joe! Joe!
Joe, the two Joes, the two Joes.
Who's going next? The two Joes!
OK, there's keys there,
there and there. Oh, yes.
So I guess we need to construct
some kind of pulley.
This is where your physics degree
comes in handy.
There are seven keys left to get.
They're doing really well.
Go, Joe! Free us! Free us!
We got that lift. What we got to do?
It's not doing anything.
No, look, it's coming down.
Three wheels, three sets of keys
to unlock the last few people,
but it just took forever.
You're doing brilliant,
it's coming down,
it's very slow,
it's very slowly geared.
Oh, it's going the wrong way.
Wrong way! Wrong way? Oh
KATE SCREAMS
Aargh, what the heck?
Oh, my God! Holy Moley!
It's feathers! Oh, that's the smell.
THEY LAUGH
Oh, it stinks.
Oh, God, that's bad!
We were pummelled with feathers
that smelt
..like poo.
There's no other way to say it.
CHARLOTTE RETCHES
Oh, that's disgusting!
ALAN COUGHS
That's disgusting!
I was proper dry heaving.
MIMICS DRY HEAVES
It was disgusting.
Then, of course,
I tried to close my mouth
and then my fingers were covered in
feathers and they went up my nose.
Oh, my God, it was hell.
Oh, that's terrible!
That is a bad smell.
Right, go on.
Joe Marler just got hold of
the handle
and it was so fast,
you couldn't even see his hand.
I've never seen anything like it.
A few more turns.
It's coming down towards me. Oh!
Everyone just seemed desperate
to get the last keys,
get the last members of the team
out of the cabin.
Keep going, keep going!
Right, I've got it, thanks, Cat.
Go, Celia, go!
Oh, I feel sick! Oh! Oh!
Oh, 'ello.
Oh, my God, that stinks!
Who needs undoing?
Alan, Alan, Alan!
Alan, Alan!
I've never been more pleased to see
Stephen Fry.
He sort of kicked through the door.
It was like The Bodyguard
when Kevin Costner rescues
Whitney Houston.
He just swept me up
and took me out that cabin.
Come on, for God's sake!
I was nearly sick,
it's so disgusting.
We're all out!
Everyone's out, everyone's out!
Just a great feeling.
We'd got the money! We'd done it!
What are we looking for?
Now the Shields!
All the celebrities are out,
so that's brilliant.
They have banked all the money.
They are now looking for a Shield.
How do we find the Shield?
Oh, shit, look.
Urgh! Oh, God.
There's only two available.
Who's going to find them first?
There's a ballcock.
Oh, my God!
Got one. You've got it.
Yep. Got one.
She's got one, she's got one!
Yeah! Happy days.
It's what I needed.
You got a Shield? Yeah, I know.
Brilliant!
I know, I'm so pleased.
I'm feeling really vulnerable
and I desperately wanted to get
a Shield,
and here is the most
precious thing of all.
Thank God. That means
I can't get murdered tonight
by the Traitors.
It doesn't mean
I can't get banished, obviously.
I've found one Oh, no.
I haven't found one,
I've found a stone.
Oh, my God, that's so disgusting.
I've got one!
Oh! Oh, well done, Mark.
You're safe. Oh!
Very, very relieved that I've at
least got one decent night's sleep.
Players, well done.
All of you managed to get
out of the cabin in time,
that means £8,000 is
added to the prize fund.
Yes!
Woo! Come on!
Two Shields were on offer.
Clare and Mark,
you are both protected from murder,
but as you all know,
nobody is protected from banishment.
Go back to the castle, clean up.
That was quite a laugh
For you. Well
There is that.
The Round Table, not so much.
I'll see you back at the castle.
Well done.
It'll be interesting, actually,
Mark and Clare knowing that
they're protected.
I was just about to say,
will Clare be bolder?
Mark was quite bold anyway.
Yeah, he was, actually. And he
And he didn't have a Shield.
Ah, yeah.
Last night round the Round Table,
you said you thought Mark
cos he's standing back,
but I think he's just trying to be
a good Faithful,
that's the problem,
and observe people.
I understand that but, like I said,
when you are a Faithful,
in the moment, you're going to
react.
I find it very hard to see something
and then look around.
Yeah. I think he's a Traitor.
PEACOCK CALLS
STEPHEN SIGHS
That is staggeringly bad.
Look at this. Oh, my God!
Very shocked by those that have
walked in with their boots still on.
Coo-ee! How you doing?
Hello. Hello!
What are you guys thinking about?
I'm not going to hold back.
I think I held back
too much last night.
Well, I might take more of a
back-seat, cos I didn't,
I didn't hold back last night.
But you're in a great position
cos you've a Shield,
so you have to Oh, yeah. If we
want to catch the Traitors,
we all collectively have to grow
a pair, I think.
Who did you vote for?
Who did you vote for, Mark?
THEY LAUGH
How do you feel about that, Tameka?
I'm OK.
RAPIDLY CLATTERS CUTLERY
THEY LAUGH
These Traitors are very clever,
I think.
Uh-huh. I do. I really do.
I also think it's a really had job
to be a Faithful.
I did not take that on.
But, actually, the job of finding
the Traitors is really tricky.
We've got to roll up
our sleeves and do it, actually. Mm.
I'm going to go and snoop
and listen to other conversations.
Yeah, it's a good idea.
I'm snooping around the place,
trying to work out what
people are up to.
Aha! Celia!
So, if I was a Traitor,
I'd be worried,
because I'm vocal
in my investigations.
We're just talking
about the Round Table.
Round Table,
don't know what we're going to say.
No, I don't. But I've just left
the table with the girls
in the breakfast room to
snoop on other conversations.
Aha.
You know if you're snooping,
you know you're meant to not tell
people you're snooping?
Mm.
First law of snooping.
First lesson at Snoop School,
don't tell people you're snooping.
Who are you voting for? I've got
two options. Go on, then.
All right, one, two, three.
OK, fine.
One, two, three
TOGETHER:Jonathan. Stephen.
Are you really?
Yeah. You player!
Do you want to hear my reason?
I went round the whole
table the other day
..I think he's the only one
who would have the gumption
to murder Paloma.
You wouldn't,
Alan definitely wouldn't No.
That's why I think he's a Faithful.
Yeah.
The only reason I'm thinking
Stephen Yeah?
..is because he got it wrong last
night,
so it made me get it wrong,
so I looked a fool.
That never happens.
Knob!
Stephen is my absolute Faithful.
..Faithful,
because I think Claudia will want to
see if Stephen can break the code.
Maybe Claudia picked a war to be had
between the Traitor team
led by the big dog
Jonathan.
Jonathan. ..against the Faithful
team, led by
the Faithful big dog of Stephen.
Yes, I think that.
And then that's the I think she's
gone, "I want to see which team's
"going to win that." Yeah. That's
what I think.
Today, our celebrities were
chained up, locked in a cabin,
desperate to get out.
They're about to be
locked in a different kind of room,
and at the Round Table,
nobody wants to leave.
# Back to life
# Back to reality #
I am just hoping and praying I'm OK.
I know my name's going to come up.
I ain't ready to go.
I've got more to give.
It'll probably be to my detriment,
but I won't be holding
back at the Round Table.
I'm out for blood.
That is the blood of a certain
Jonathan Ross.
# However do you want me? #
I think the Traitors are being
really good at manipulating us.
I'm trying to remember that
everybody in the castle could be
a Traitor,
and it doesn't matter how much
I like them,
all of them could be Traitors.
# Back to life. #
Players,
welcome back to the Round Table.
Today, you banked £8,000.
That means the prize fund
currently stands at £27,500.
Remember, if there are any Traitors
left at the end,
they take all of the money for their
chosen charity,
as well as all the glory.
Before tonight's banishment,
I have a question.
Who can you trust?
Who are you suspicious of?
Players, the floor is yours.
Well, I'll start off.
I just think,
myself included in this,
we all need to be a bit more
forthcoming with our opinions.
Um, everyone has their theories,
and I felt like last night people
were kind of
just hopping on the bandwagon to
not draw attention to themselves.
We're not going to catch
the Traitors.
I've been going round snooping
at the way people behave in the day.
Who talks to who,
and who doesn't talk to who.
Oh! Oh.
If I was a Traitor,
would I be nervous of my fellow
Traitor to be seen discussing?
And I've watched
and most people are,
but there are some people
who don't talk to each other.
Who?
OK, Cat
..and Charlotte, for instance.
I've not ever spotted that.
I feel like I do talk to you,
Charlotte. Yeah.
I'm sureI'm sure you do,
but I'm just
I'm just clutching at all the straws
that we've got. Honestly.
It is the way we have to think.
That's all you can do, but Yeah.
Miss Celia, after the selection was
made,
you did I mean, you float anyway.
You float into a room,
but you floated into the bar
very confidently.
It was like, "Yeah!" You know?
Leading lady.
So, there is that, if we're
talking about people changing.
And I noticed you are quite clever
just with the words you use.
You know, "I've done some snooping."
Yeah. And then, you know, you'll
throw in a curveball.
Charlotte, you know, if we're going
to talk about deflection,
you're very good.
Those words are very
But I think that's quite honest,
to say that I have been,
and looking at everybody.
Well, we all have been. Yes.
That's the That's the game.
Because We can consider, at
least,
that at least one of the Traitors
is a very strong mind
and a very ruthless
and brilliant mind.
I think both the people that
I have suggested are brilliant.
Charlotte and Cat?
Charlotte and Cat.
And I admire them.
And one more thing to add is,
who is the least likely person to
have killed Paloma?
The least likely?
Alan. Exactly.
Are you saying that it could be
Alan Absolutely.
..because we would think it wouldn't
be? It couldn't be.
There's no-one it couldn't be.
No, there's no-one it couldn't be.
But that's my point.
The one person that would do the big
deflect would be Alan.
I still don't think he would,
anyway, cos she'd go mad at him.
I just I wouldn't do it.
And I know, I know, but that's
as easy as that.
I Yeah.
Yeah. I was justjust in shock
Yeah. ..really.
And I just don't
know how the Traitors did it.
I justI just don't know.
I genuinely don't know.
Yesterday with the coffin, like,
it was a big shock for everybody,
but when I turned around, I saw
Mark, who had distanced himself
from the group and was
looking at everyone.
Absolutely. And then today,
the same thing with Tom being gone,
it's like, "How could it be Tom?"
And again, I felt that you were
maybe looking at me to see my
reaction.
And I was quite surprised that
you didn't have the shock value
on your face.
Er, fair enough.
I mean, I absolutely understand
why you're saying that Mm.
..but Traitors know Tom's not
coming through the door
this morning. We don't. Yes.
So I thought that that was
a really good way of trying
to assess people's reactions
to big shocks.
I hear what you're saying,
but for me,
I found it very telling
that you had
Telling about what?
That I'm a Traitor?
Obviously I want to know as well,
but it's much more
It's much more important to get
Traitors out,
so, yes, I'm watching you, because
yes, I still do believe you are
the highest in my sort of percentage
levels of who is a Traitor,
and you did go on the offensive
to me
before I even mentioned you at all.
You know, going on the offensive
smacks a little bit more, to me,
of guilt.
Even though it really pains me
to say it,
the slight change in behaviour did
chime a little bit with me,
in terms of I felt that you were a
little bit jittery and, um,
I can't lie and say that it's not on
my mind, and I'm sorry about that.
You are wrong. Yeah, OK.
You are wrong.
I really don't know what to say.
I don't have any game plan, as such.
You know, I'm just being me,
and I can tell you I am a Faithful.
I've got to say,
Tameka, in your defence
and response this evening,
I haven't been convinced.
I feel like you've been deflective
but there's not been much substance.
You're not really backing it
up with anything.
I don't know what else to say.
This isthis is me. Yeah.
I This really is me.
For what it's worth,
I absolutely don't think it's you.
Thank you. I don't.
I do have one theory, though, that
Claudia's chosen to wage a war
between two big dogs,
and one's leading the Faithfuls,
and one's leading the Traitors.
And I would If I was Claudia,
I'd go,
"Let's go with big dog JR,
and big dog SF." You know?
Right, yeah.
But I can't work out which leaders
you are. Who's who! Which is which.
Er, yeah, no, it makes sense.
And, of course,
I've thought the same thing myself,
and I was terrified I'd be
chosen to be a Traitor.
I have to tell you that I'm not
a Traitor,
but, of course,
I would say that in either case.
I keep thinking about murdering
Paloma
and how it would take a bit of
mettle to do that.
Yeah.
Who would I think would be
prepared to do that?
And I went round,
and I hate saying it now,
but the only person I could think
who might do it is you, Jonathan.
That I would kill Paloma?
Or have the mettle to do it,
let's say.
I would have to agree with you.
I would have the mettle to kill her,
I think.
Um But, no, I didn't do it.
I don't It's very hard to prove
a negative sort of thing.
It's like, I didn't do it,
I didn't do it.
I can see why you'd think
I would do it.
I don't know really how to tell you
I didn't kill Paloma Sure.
..other than saying
I didn't kill Paloma.
Not that you don't like Paloma,
but you'd know that it would cause
everyone to go, "What?"
Well, I actually have two bones to
pick with you, Jonathan.
I'm going to light the firework.
It'sit's actually before I think
the Traitors were even picked,
but it just was kind of behaviour
that was indicative of
a game player, I think.
Um, and it was one of the first
things you did was make
an alliance with Niko and me
and Clare in the car.
You said it, in the car. Did he?
Mm-hm. Yeah.
What did I say? Yeah, yeah, you said
we're an alliance.
I did not say we're an alliance.
You did.
We're an alliance? Yes, you did.
Yeah.
Guys, I swear, I have not said
the words You did.
..we're No.
OK, I'm not going to say
I'm saying you've misremembered.
I have not said to anyone
I'm in an alliance. OK.
I've said to people, "I totally
believe you're Faithful."
I've said to people,
"I'm not voting for you."
I have not said to anyone,
"We're in an alliance."
I did not say that.
I think what you were, er -
in the moment - I think
you actually were doing it for Niko
and Ruth's benefit
because you felt they didn't know
anyone. But you said
You're saying I literally used the
words? Yes, you did.
Yes, you did. I promise you did.
And then I just felt like you
blindsided Niko.
That's how I feel about it,
personally.
I just thought that those two things
together were kind of indicative of
someone
But the Niko thing, we blindsided
..who's playing a game. Sorry. But
the Niko thing,
we blindsided Niko - I was clear to
Niko.
I said very clearly to him
and I've said this to others here,
"I'm hearing your name."
I know he is not here, sadly,
to corroborate this,
and those of you will know
I have come round to other
individuals here and said, "I've
heard your name."
Yeah. And I'm That's how
I'm trying to play the game,
which is by testing all the theories
I hear with all the individuals.
And it's partly cos I want to be,
er, transparent,
but also cos I want to see your
reaction to it.
So that's why I'm doing it, and
that's why I did say that to Niko.
Players, the time for talk is over.
Please write down the name of
the person you believe is a Traitor.
Joe Marler, we'll start with you.
Who do you believe is a Traitor,
and why?
I've gone with you, Kate.
It was you who pointed me
in the direction of Niko.
That's the only bit of evidence
I had to go on.
Lucy?
David, I think you're the smartest
person here, but the least likely
that I wouldI wouldn't even pick,
and that's why I'm picking you.
But I
But Cos I didn't I was going
to go But do you know what?
Then I thought, "I don't think it is
Jonathan."
He's just too He's too
believable.
Cat.
I've gone kind of with the theory
of the big dogs
and gone for you, Mr Fry.
Hm-hm. Because you are just so
intelligent
and would be an incredible Traitor.
Thank you.
Stephen.
Well, I've taken the same
sort of path as Cat, really,
and, er, I just think that she
fits the profile.
Charlotte.
Joe Wilkinson.
Um, I've gone for Jonathan because
of the big dog theory as well,
but I went the other way.
Celia.
Um, because I noticed Cat was
nervous as a kitten tonight,
also that she would take
the challenge
of being a Traitor
and do it brilliantly.
Jonathan, who do you believe is
a Traitor, and why?
I'm going with Ruth.
Even though I wasn't
suspecting you before,
I'm now thinking you might be
a Traitor because you are going
for me
with what is not, I don't
believe, genuine evidence.
So, a vote count.
One for Kate, one for David,
one for Stephen, one for Charlotte,
one for Jonathan,
one for Cat and one for Ruth.
It is wide open.
Charlotte, who do you believe is
a Traitor and why?
I voted for you, Tameka.
I just wasn't convinced by your
argument tonight. I'm sorry.
Clare.
Alan. I've gone on the basis
of the least likely person to have
killed Paloma was you, therefore
David.
Well, we keep saying that the
Traitors are extraordinarily clever,
so I've gone for the cleverest
person not just round this table,
but the cleverest person
I've ever met, which is Stephen.
Nick.
Um, I have voted for you, Tameka.
Ruth.
I voted for Jonathan.
I think your behaviour
from the get-go was extremely
indicative of a game player.
Tameka.
I've gone for one of the big dogs,
which is Miss Celia,
which I think that you could play
the role of a Traitor quite lovely.
Alan.
I've also gone for Celia.
I think there's a lot of projection
going on
and I think next time she goes
snooping,
she should look in the mirror.
LAUGHTER AND GASPS
Thank you.
So, a vote count,
and leading the way with two votes
each are
Tameka, Stephen, Jonathan and Celia.
There are only two votes left.
This could go any way.
Mark, who do you believe is
a Traitor and why?
I voted for Tameka again,
just because of everything we've
talked about,
and because I still
believe that she's a Traitor.
I hope I'm wrong,
but I still believe she is.
So, if Tameka gets one more vote,
she is banished.
If Stephen, Jonathan or Celia get
a vote, it's a tie.
It all comes down to this last vote.
Kate, who do you believe is
a Traitor, and why?
I'm afraid I voted for Tameka.
I'm sorry, Tameka, I am not
convinced at all
that you're a Traitor,
but I just didn't know
and I had nothing to go on.
I'm so sorry.
Tameka,
you have received the most votes.
Please come up here and join me.
TAMEKA SIGHS
Tameka, you have received the most
votes,
and you are banished from
the castle.
Please now reveal, are you
a Faithful or are you a Traitor?
It has been really lovely meeting
all of you. It really has been.
I'm just a bit stunned,
if I'm honest.
I am
..a Faithful.
# I tried so hard #
Oh!
# But in the end, it doesn't even
matter #
Players, what's going on?
That's two Round Tables
and two Faithfuls banished.
I tell you what,
you can hear the Traitors laughing,
cos you're doing their work
for them.
You have got to get your act
together because, tonight,
another Faithful will be murdered.
So, sleep well, if you can.
That was tough.
It really was.
I was in a state of slowly
increasing panic
for most of the evening.
I know I've got a few people on my
side, I might have got away with it,
but I'll be honest with you, I
am the luckiest Traitor in the land.
That was I can't believe it.
How are you feeling?
Shite. Oh, don't, love!
No-one's got anything to go on.
I'm feeling rubbish.
I'm feeling rubbish that
I led the charge against Tameka,
and she's a Faithful.
I got it very wrong,
and I'm sorry, Tameka.
This is terrifying, isn't it?
I literally can't believe it.
I mean, dear God.
Oh, my lordy-lord!
What an absolutely horrible outcome!
How are you doing?
I wasI was Barking up the
wrong tree for three days,
that's how I'm doing. Yeah.
Brilliant! Persuaded people to get
rid of a Faithful! Brilliant!
We were all We were all I also
had my suspicions of Tameka,
my wrong suspicions of Tameka.
Like, it wasn't just you.
Like Yeah. It really, really
sucks.
Do you want a top-up now?
Course I do. Thank you, matey.
Honestly. Oh, my God!
What a bl! Terrifying.
It's enough to give you
a heart attack. I know!
And then Clare goes for me.
But do you know what?
Our names are just going to come up
more and more and more,
so we just have to get used to it.
But I've got nothing to go on.
Was you genuinely thatfor
Jonathan? Do you genuinely think?
That he's a Traitor?
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
I'm a lot tougher than I look,
and I think that I'm onto
something with Jonathan.
It's getting boring now, just
banishing Faithfuls all the time.
Hello, people. Hello!
What an absolute hammer blow of a
I mean, isn't it horrible,
Alan, when your names come up?
Cos you just think, "Oh, my God!"
We were both up twice, weren't we?
Yeah, er No, me only once, so
Oh, you were only once.
..I'm not as unpopular as you.
Do you know why I voted for you?
Go on. Can I be honest with you?
It was that fart in the hut.
CLOCK CHIMES
I'm tired.
Off you go. See if you can get up.
Goodbye, guys. Bye-bye.
But I'm a nice person.
I think me
and Cat are thick as thieves.
We are We just don't want
Jonathan to drag us down,
and we will get rid, if we have to.
# Get ready for a battle
# Cos you know I was born #
Another Round Table
and another Faithful banished,
and Tameka has gone.
And it's only about to get worse
for the Faithful, as the Traitors
are going to meet and murder again
under the cover of darkness.
# I was born
# I tell you I was born for this
# Ain't nothing going to stop me now
# Yeah. #
Oh! Wow!
That was crazy.
I didn't know where it was going
to go. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I thought I was going to wind
up in a draw situation.
I thought you were getting one. I
didn't think you were getting more.
I was surprised you got one.
But Celia
I think that was just random, and
I don't That's Celia being Celia.
Yeah. We've got some heat on us now.
You are at risk.
Clare isn't going to stop.
Oh, I wish she hadn't got
that Shield.
I would have killed her off.
She is on you, and she's not going
to let go of that at the moment.
The other Shield is Who's got
the other Shield? Mark.
I mean, Mark is feeling pretty low
at the minute
because he sort of went after Tameka
and, yeah
So there's I'm not worried about
Mark. That's fine.
So those two have got the Shields.
Ruth, we can'twe can't murder.
No, I disagree.
Can I say why? Oh.
I would be an idiot to kill Ruth
Yeah. Yeah.
..unless they go with
the triple double bluff thing,
and I can try and argue against it
and say, "Look, if I was a Traitor,
"I wouldn't have done that. It's
too"
Why put myself in the firing line?
She's not going to stop.
She was so virulent.
Every Round Table,
she's going to say your name.
It could backfire on you Mm.
..and people could get
paranoid Yeah. ..and think,
"What if it is the double bluff,
double bluff?"
And then Cos people think of a
triple bluff now. That's how much
As opposed to you, "Oh, what if
it's the other side of the coin?"
Charlotte Church gets it
wrong every time,
but she says it with such
conviction.
She said, "Tameka, yeah.
"I don't think
much of your argument."
She goes in hard. She goes in hard.
I mean, do we get rid of Charlotte?
Yeah.
Because she's so loud and wrong
Yeah. ..we can use that to our
advantage,
because eventually people are going
to go, "Come on, now." Yeah.
"Hold on, why are you always wrong?"
What about David?
David is a possibility,
and that's a good one.
David is intelligent.
He's very smart,
and he's very perceptive,
and maybe it could put a little
bit of heat on Lucy,
because she was the only one
to vote for him.
And I think other Faithfuls
will start to listening to him more
as the game goes on, so there's
a danger that
he might become an important
force against us. Yes.
So, we've got Ruth, David David.
..and Charlotte.
# That's burning down
# Can you see my scars? #
We've come to a decision.
They need to be taught a lesson.
And I know the person who would
like to teach them that lesson.
Right, I'll get writing.
Let's go. Come on, then.
Express delivery.
# Sweet misery #