The Lady (2025) s01e03 Episode Script

1
I just wonder
if there could be someone out there.
You seek a soulmate?
Uh-oh.
'She just has so much to deal with,
'what with the separation
and the house move.
'I'm basically running
the show now.'
Tell your penny-pinching husband
that I need to release some funds.
It's basic book-keeping.
Just get on with it.
This isn't what I signed up for.
You'd rather my whole life
be as dull and as drab as you are.
It's just never-ending drama.
I hate you!
ALEKSANDRA: Luis Castillo.
Tall, dark and very charming.
Lovely suit. Luis has a trip
to the Greek islands.
I was just saying this morning,
Sarah always says I work too hard.
You said you wanted
to show me the islands.
You wanted me to meet your friends
because we're a couple.
That is what couples do.
It's not working for me any more.
This has to stop, do you hear?
CLAUDIA: Jane, could I have a word?
What is it?
Well, I'm afraid
we're going to have to let you go.
I'm terribly sorry.
She didn't even do it in person.
After everything we've been through.
What's wrong with me, Mum?
I'm so tired of it all.
TOMMY: Here you are with two
pink drinks and no-one to talk to.
This man will bring great passion
into your life.
Once you meet him,
there will be no going back.
'I would like the police
to come and split us up,
'to stop us
from hurting each other.'
DOUGLAS: The woman can't
have just disappeared.
REPORTER: 'But as time passes,
speculation is growing.
'Could Jane Andrews have killed
the man she loved?'
PHONE BEEPS
So, er, what did she buy?
Two boxes of painkillers
and a pack of lacy thongs.
Apparently, she tried
to buy more tablets,
but they wouldn't sell them to her.
You think we could be
looking at a murder-suicide?
Except why would you bother
buying sexy lingerie
if you're planning
on topping yourself?
Maybe she wanted clean underwear?
Anyway, the mobile company got a hit
on her phone soon after.
She was just outside Southampton,
headed west.
And there's been no further contact
with the ex-husband? None.
But apparently,
signal round there's pretty patchy.
Did the, er
the SOCOs find her passport?
His was in the office,
but there's no sign of hers.
Right, we need to issue
an all-ports warning.
If we let her leave the country,
then it's game over.
I know, Sir,
but I don't think she will.
All I know is we're three days
into a national manhunt,
and we're still no closer
to bringing her in.
She walked
straight into a supermarket.
Didn't even hide her face.
If she's taking risks,
maybe she intends to be dead
before we can get to her.
Well, she'd better bloody not be.
STARTS ENGINE
ALARM BEEPING,
APPLAUSE ON TV
Crikey.
A domestic goddess in every sense.
You are a bloody marvel.
Well, I think we're almost there.
I've put out the wine glasses.
They just need to go on the table.
Red AND white?
Of course.
Because if a thing's worth doing
it's worth doing right.
Right. Come on, then, you.
Let's get some music on.
They should be here any minute.
SARAH, ON TV:
'Thank you. I'm so glad.'
HOST: 'So, let's start
with young Sarah,
'that happy, confident girl
the whole world fell in love with.
'But that wasn't the whole story,
was it?'
'Yes, well, as we were saying,
'I worked so terribly hard
to make everyone else happy.
'It's that common thing
when parents split.
'The child just feels
'Well, you want desperately
to make things all right.
'And I was so desperate'
DOORBELL RINGS
'..for approval, for love,
'but I never felt
that I deserved it.'
Jane?
'And then, out of the blue,
'this handsome,
gorgeous man appeared.'
'And not just a man'
Janey.
'..A prince.'
'Yes, exactly.'
Darling, they're here.
'I literally met
my Prince Charming.'
'I fell in love, and I married him.'
'So now you're living
the fairy tale.'
'That's right. At first, I was.'
'But then reality'
FRONT DOOR CLOSES.
LAUGHTER,
CHATTER
Absolutely. Right!
Time for a toast, I think.
Janey, for creating
this magnificent feast.
Hear, hear.
Well done, darling.
ALL: Janey.
Cheers.
Cheers, darling. Despite
my woefully ill-equipped kitchen.
Well, we'll soon change that.
LEO: Uh-oh, Tommy.
First, it's the kitchen.
Next, she'll be throwing out
your boy's toys
and buying bloody potpourri.
Please, God, she'll make him
lose the trophy display.
Oi!
And those shirtless boat pictures.
Oh! Oh, I don't know.
I rather like the pictures.
Oh, I know you do.
And those short shorts.
Ooh! I've never seen these.
All right, I'm not just
a piece of meat, you know.
Yes, you are, mate.
No, I am. Yes, no, I am.
LAUGHTER.
Right. Well, erm,
if we are making toasts,
I actually have
a bit of an announcement.
Erm, to my utter amazement
and deep joy,
this gorgeous creature to my left
has finally agreed to marry me.
Oh, that's fantastic news.
Congratulations!
Yes, congratulations.
That's wonderful.
Thank you.
Glasses down, everybody.
This calls for Champagne.
It was always you.
I just perked up immediately.
On my 15th drink, but, you know!
You sure about this, though, Mills?
He's the one?
He wore me down somehow.
Hm.
LAUGHS: That helps!
That helps, yeah.
Diamonds help. That'll do it.
Can I see?
Oh, wow!
Excellent clarity.
And that's a very good setting
for that cut.
Oh, yes, you work in a jeweller's,
don't you?
Er, well, I do at the moment, yes.
But I learnt about diamonds
when I was with the Royal Family.
Janey was the Duchess of York's
personal assistant.
Yes. But she doesn't like
to mention it.
CHUCKLING
It really is a lovely ring.
Thank you.
LEO: Well, I'm glad you liked it.
It cost a bit.
Oh, no, stop it. Don't be beastly.
Come on, so, when's the wedding?
Probably in the spring.
Yes.
Well, hang on.
We'd better get a wriggle on with,
er, planning the stag, Duncan. Yes.
Oh, I-I'm not sure about that.
What do you mean, you're not sure?
Rubbish. We're having a stag do.
End of story, thank you.
Surely, that's the whole point
of getting married?
Maybe not the whole point.
You two planning a stag?
You're joking.
LAUGHTER
I'm best man, I'm in charge.
Anyway, stems, everybody.
To the happy couple.
ALL: To the happy couple.
Cheers.
Congratulations.
Remember, erm, Mickey's stag?
In Barcelona?
LAUGHTER
I remember that stripper
took a shine to Tommy.
Sh-She was a lovely young lady.
And we had a very interesting
conversation about football.
Football!
That's what you were talking about?
Oh, I missed that.
LAUGHTER
Erm, what's this?
JOSH: Well, you know our Tommy.
Can't say no to a pretty face.
CHUCKLES.
Well, unless they
try to tie him down.
OK, that's enough of that.
And then he runs for the hills.
CAMILLA: Leo.
At least, he used to.
Well, I wish I knew some of this
before you asked me to move in.
Don't pay any attention.
How's the wrist, by the way?
Duncan.
It's much better, thank you.
Good.
More Champagne, I think.
She was determined
to get her feet under the table.
The wrist thing
just gave her an excuse.
I think she was
just strapped for cash
and needed to rent out her flat.
Janey said they'd been dancing
and then she fell.
But I didn't buy it.
And eventually
she told me that he'd pushed her
over the open door
of the dishwasher.
She tripped.
Or she did it on purpose.
Either way, she got what she wanted.
Duncan obviously got it
from somewhere.
Jesus Christ.
Give it a rest, will you?
It's lovely to know
that's how you talk about me
with all of your friends.
HE EXHALES.
Don't be ridiculous.
And the way that he said,
"How's your wrist?"
Was so fucking snide.
I could've punched him!
Dunc was just winding you up,
and you have overreacted, as usual.
So, what, I'm supposed to just
sit there and take it, am I?
Darling, there's nothing to take.
You're just being
too bloody sensitive, Janey.
Look, Dunc was just being Dunc.
Oh, yeah, good old Dunc.
If you love him so much,
why don't you just
go and live with Dunc instead?
I mean, I would
but his feet stink.
And besides,
I've heard he's shit in bed.
HE SNIGGERS
Also, there is this
sexy little minx
that I've had my eye on.
Oh, yeah?
Mm.
Sure there's not some stripper
you'd rather be screwing?
No. There's only one woman
I want to screw.
If I can get her to stop talking
for five minutes.
Five minutes hardly seems worth it.
Trust me, lady. It'll be worth it.
So you're sure
you don't want me to go?
No-one's going anywhere.
Glad to hear it.
Cos if you left me, Tommy
I don't know what I would do.
HE INHALES SHARPLY Stop.
Put them on first, yeah?
Yeah?
Yeah.
You know how much I like it.
Yep, I know, Mum,
but Leo wanted somewhere
more central for his stag do,
so we chose Berlin.
I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love you too. OK. All right.
Bye, Mum. Bye.
Can't believe you're leaving me
for a whole weekend. I know.
But think just how good it'll be
when I get back.
You should make the most of it.
Call up your girlfriends,
go out on the town.
Maybe I'll meet a nice young man.
You'd better bloody not.
There it is.
Call me when you
get to Berlin, yeah? Course.
CAR HORN TOOTS That'll be Dunc.
You won't forget?
I won't forget.
DOORBELL RINGS
All right, chaps?
DUNCAN: There he is. Got the hat?
TOMMY LAUGHS,
DOOR CLOSES
REPORTER: '..having trouble getting
people to pay attention. But'
PRESENTER: 'What did they say
about Princess Diana's dress?
' "Oh, doesn't it look crumpled?"
'But they didn't say that
about yours.
'Because you've got
such nice broad shoulders,
'the strapless looks wonderful.'
'Yeah, and all the work you've put
into them, Angelie. That's right.
'Paying off on your wedding day.
'Contrary to popular belief,
'strapless dresses
really do suit most people.
'They show off shoulders
beautifully.
'And if you've got a small bust,
they're dead easy to wear.
'If you want to wear one
and you've got a big bust,
'just make jolly sure
that the underwear you wear
'is the right kind of underwear
because'
RINGING TONE
'Hi, you've reached Tommy's phone.
'Leave a message,
and I'll get back to you.'
Hey, it's me.
Assuming you've safely arrived
in Deutschland.
Gimme a call when you can, yeah?
Miss you already.
'Hi, Tommy. It's me again.'
So still no word.
For all I know, you could be
dead in a ditch somewhere.
So if you could just call me back
it would be good to know
that you're still alive.
SHE SNIFFLES, GASPS
INARTICULATE CRY
So you need to get out of the
fucking strip club and call me back.
I'm not joking, Tommy. You need
to call me back, immediately.
Do you hear me?
You can't just
fucking ignore me, Tommy.
It's not fucking funny.
You fucking bastard!
SHE YELLS
RINGING TONE
'Hi, it's Duncan.
You know what to do.'
Duncan, it's Jane.
Look, erm
I'd really appreciate it
if you could please tell Tommy
to tear himself away
from all the naked bloody tits
and call me. OK?
'This is Leo. Sorry I can't
take your call at the moment,
'but please leave a message.'
Leo, Jane again.
If you're with Tommy,
which I'm sure you are,
I need you to tell him
to pick up the phone and call me.
This has gone beyond a joke.
Do you understand?
She was desperately hurt.
It was a real betrayal.
If anything,
the thing about "old slippers"
Well, it was a compliment.
He just meant that he was
very comfortable with her.
Janey described some of the things
that he'd written, and
I certainly wouldn't
have been happy either.
Served her right.
She shouldn't have
gone poking about.
TOMMY: Hello, Jane?
Look, it's not what you think.
I didn't actually do anything, Jane.
It was just a stupid bit of fun.
I read the emails.
Yeah, OK, they sounded bad, but
it wasn't real.
It was just fantasy, just
harmless fetishes.
Who is she?
She's no-one. She's
She's just some woman
that I met at a trade show that's
SHE SNIFFLES God.
Jane
nothing actually happened.
I-It's not like
I slept with her. We
We just sent a couple of emails.
You don't love me at all, do you?
Jane, that's not true.
You never loved me.
Oh, God, I wish I was dead.
Oh, Jane, please don't say that.
You mustn't say
things like that, OK?
I'm really, really sorry.
Why shouldn't I?
If you don't love me,
I'd rather be dead.
J-Jane, look.
I am really sorry.
We're good. I I promise.
I can see this is very distressing.
He said it didn't mean anything.
It was just a stupid flirtation,
and I was the one
that was over-reacting.
I don't know, maybe I am.
It's not like
he actually slept with her.
We've talked about how people
can try to minimise your feelings
so they don't
have to deal with them.
Your parents, for example.
Right. I remember
you said there were certain things
that happened in your childhood
that they didn't want to know about.
Yeah.
It was all just
swept under the carpet.
Do you feel
that's what's happening here?
I don't know.
Maybe.
My whole life revolves around him.
Forget about what I want,
what I need.
It's always about Tommy.
If I just knew for sure
where we were headed
then I I could relax.
Could you tell him
you feel this way?
What's the point?
He wouldn't understand.
But if you want to establish
clearer boundaries
he needs to know what behaviour
you find unacceptable.
I can't carry on like this, Tommy.
You hurt me so much.
And the truth is
it sent me to a very dark place.
And it's a place
that I have been in before.
What do you mean?
I know you thought
I was just making threats.
But the fact is I, erm
I have tried to kill myself
in the past.
God.
I don't want to go into details.
But it's happened more than once,
and I can't be with someone
who might push me
into feeling like that again.
No.
No, course not. Erm
I'm so sorry.
So if you would
rather be with this woman
in Las Vegas
No. No, no.
That was never the thing
or you've decided that
you'd never want to settle down
That's No, I Look, I
I definitely think about
marriage and and kids
and all of those things.
OK.
I just need to know that
we're heading in the same direction.
It's not that I'm expecting you
to propose tomorrow. It's
Maybe six months down the line.
Yeah.
I just need to know
that you're not using me.
I wouldn't do that.
I wouldn't. OK?
Don't ever hurt me again, Tommy.
I really couldn't bear it.
She started texting
a couple of hours ago.
It's been non-stop ever since.
My inbox is practically full,
but I didn't think
I should delete anything.
She's obviously in a terrible state.
Francesca, we have CCTV footage
that shows Jane buying
quite a lot of painkillers.
So, as you can imagine,
we're extremely concerned
for her well being.
We need you to talk to her.
Try and get her to tell you
exactly where she is.
Think you could do that?
I can try.
LAUGHTER,
SWING MUSIC PLAYING
Right, then.
Another one for the Majesty.
Happy birthday to the Queen Mother.
To the Queen Mother.
God bless the old dear.
LAUGHTER.
MUSIC: 'Tainted Love'
by Soft Cell.
Oh, my God, Tommy.
Oh, Jesus.
Shall we?
Yes, indeed.
Duncan, do me a favour, old boy.
Oh, anything for you, Tom.
Yes, thank you.
Sometimes I feel
I've got to
Run away
I've got to
Get away from the pain
You drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere ♪
Get a room!
Come on now, you two.
FRANCESCA: Janey!
Janey.
Things seem to be going
much better between the two of you.
Yes, things are wonderful.
In fact, last weekend,
we were looking at properties
in the Cotswolds.
Wow, that's exciting.
He even registered us
as "Mr and Mrs Cressman"
at the estate agents'.
Did he?
Well, that's what the chap had
on his papers,
but Tommy and I
just went along with it.
It was very funny.
CHUCKLES.
Between you and I, he's been having
lots of secret chats with his mum.
And I think he may be planning
to propose when we're in France
at his family's villa.
Gosh. Really?
Janey? Don't look now,
but isn't that your old chap, Luis?
Just behind Tommy?
LAUGHTER,
CHATTER
TOMMY: It is a Classic Riva,
and she is an absolute stunner.
Tommy really knows his boats.
My brother's been looking at
a Riva Olympic. Oh, wow.
Tommy? Mm, that's cool.
What kind of condition?
Good, I think.
Tommy?
Sorry. Erm, how far is the villa
from St Tropez?
Ah, I don't know. A couple of hours?
Max should get Tommy to look at it.
I'm thinking we should drive there
one day in the boat.
You You don't drive a boat,
woman. Jesus!
CHUCKLING Oh, pardon me.
Sorry, stupid Janey
gets it wrong again.
No, no, look.
That's not what I meant.
You should give her
a good telling off.
Don't be silly.
Tommy rather likes naughty girls.
That and a bit of dressing up.
LAUGHS: For God's sake!
If it's thigh-high and leather,
all the better.
Look Please, ignore her.
You're drunk.
No, I'm not. You are.
You're making a fool of yourself.
Janey
why do you always
have to go too far?
Look, just give me
You're hurting me!
Oh, you'll survive.
Bad luck for you, then, isn't it?
I think we should go home.
I don't want to go home.
OK, fine. Do what you want.
Stay.
I'll just jump in the river,
shall I? Yes.
That'll solve all your problems,
won't it?
Hold on. Tommy, what's going on?
Stick her in a cab
when she falls over.
Tommy?
'He could be quite curt with her.'
And a bit cruel.
She was a clingy bloody nightmare.
I kept telling him
he needed to cut her loose.
RINGING TONE
'Hi, you've reached Tommy's phone.'
OK.
'Leave a message'
Great. Well, that's fine.
Don't pick up.
BEEP.
Hi, Tom. It's Jane.
It is quarter to one in the morning,
and there are no fucking buses.
Yeah, I'm fucking pissed off.
'Not like you give a fucking toss
if I was walking the streets
'at one in the morning or not,
though, is it?
'No, it's fucking boring,
fucking
'tosser, loony-bin Jane
'who goes out
once in a bloody blue moon
'cos you don't fucking want
to go out with me.
'OK. Goodbye.'
Un-fucking-believable.
Selfish fucking prick.
Tommy, I'm so sorry.
That's what you always say.
I thought we were doing better.
We are.
But when you act like this
in front of my friends, they
They don't understand
why I don't just end it.
Because they don't know us.
You said it yourself -
we're good together.
But, Jane, these problems,
th-they
they're not just gonna go away.
No, I know.
Every time we argue,
it's like you
you talk about jumping
in the bloody river or taking pills.
It's not fair.
I know it's not.
I get so scared.
And I know it's stupid
and it's selfish
and it's too much pressure on you.
I've been a total bitch.
It's not like I'm so great. It's
It's just, things need to be equal.
They will be.
I promise.
I'm sorting myself out. I really am.
And from now on,
things will be different, I swear.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Because I really don't want us
to go to France and have some No.
This holiday
is exactly what we need.
We'll make a whole fresh start.
New Janey. I promise.
OK.
DOUGLAS: OK, are you ready?
She's dialling now.
RINGING TONE
'Franny?'
Janey, I've been so worried,
sweetheart. Are you all right?
'I'm cold.'
WHISPERS: Keep her talking.
Where are you? Are you in the car?
'Janey, can you still hear me?'
It's dark. I can't see.
'I'm so cold, I can't feel my legs.'
Oh, Janey, darling.
Have you taken something?
Please, will you tell us
what you've taken?
'Oh, God, OK. Listen, just, erm
'Press on the horn, darling. OK?
'Because you need to try
and get someone's attention.
'Janey, you don't wanna do this.
Please will you let us help you?'
Je connais une fille
Dans une rue deserte
Froide com me glace
Mais aussi savoureuse
Seche tes pleurs, Sunday Girl
Hey, j'ai vu ton mec
Avec une autre fille
Il semblait dans un autre monde
Cours te cacher, Sunday Girl ♪
God, it's so beautiful here.
There's an observation deck
just along the coast.
It's an ideal spot for the sunset.
Very romantic.
We should go up there this evening.
Sounds perfect.
Elle ne peut
S'integrer au monde ouvrier
L'air du week-end
Est quand Elle se sent fierte
Quand Elle reve, Sunday Girl
Minou, moi
Je sortirais bien ce ♪
Oh, you made it!
Mum!
Oh! We were starting to worry.
Oh, no, don't be silly. How are you?
Good. How are you?
Very good.
Oh, yes.
Tommy.
Hello, chap.
How are you, man?
Fantastic.
Young David Look at him!
LAUGHTER.
What a thing!
How are you, chap? How you doing?
Yeah, good.
Great.
And of course,
you all remember Janey?
Yes, of course. Hello, dear.
Hi.
Can I help you with your bag?
Oh, er, that's OK.
So, this is the new car, Rick?
Yep. She's a beauty, isn't she?
Dad won't let her out of his sight.
He's obsessed.
I'm not obsessed, boy.
I can't wait
to take her out for a spin.
We'll see you inside, boys.
Oh, yes, of course.
ENGINE REVS
La mer
Qu'on voit danser
Le long des golfes clairs ♪
SIGHS: Oh, I know, it's so romantic.
Tommy drove us up into the hills,
and I just had no idea.
WATER SPLASHING
CHATTER FROM OUTSIDE
Agh!
Ah, you buggers.
And again, David. Still with you.
Well done, chap.
Come on!
Here we go.
All right, Janey?!
Keep your head in the game!
'What happened to you?'
I had an epic game of water polo.
You should've come down.
Well, I was waiting
for you to come up.
Ah. Oh, well.
Dinner's in 15 minutes,
and Cathy's just got here,
so we should probably
get down there.
Right.
So shall we drive up there
after dinner, then?
What's that?
The observation deck.
Don't be silly. We just got here.
We can go with the others.
And anyway,
Mum usually packs a picnic.
Come on.
My sister really wants to meet you.
Come on. Allez, allez!
So So, Mum was saying you're
buying a place in the Cotswolds?
Mm. Well,
we're exploring some options.
I thought the second cottage
you went to see
looked really quite promising.
Mm. Yeah, me too.
It'd make a lovely family home.
I was just saying to Tommy,
I can imagine that smallest room
as a nursery.
And there's space, yeah?
For an annexe?
Definitely, yeah.
An annexe?
I had the agent fax over the plans,
so we'll get a better idea.
Just don't overstretch yourself.
In the current climate
Was it?
Oh, now, come on.
What?
Tommy knows what he's doing.
He's always had
an excellent head for business.
LAUGHTER
Sorry - so the cottage
is for your mother, too?
Yeah, I mean
Well, we discussed it, but
Darling, I told you about that.
He may have a good head
for business,
but, er,
his spelling's still atrocious.
Well, that's not fair, is it?
There's a couple of words I have
some trouble with, that's all.
What, like "car" and "cover"?
LAUGHTER.
Oh!
That's so naughty.
So, Jane, do you know
this part of France at all?
Er, a little, yes.
At least, I know St Tropez.
I stayed there several times
with the Duchess.
Oh, yes, of course.
Jane used to work for
the Duchess of York as her dresser.
Golly.
That must have been interesting.
Did you see her on Friends?
CATHY GROANS.
Friends? What's that?
Oh, Friends is a sitcom, Granny.
Yes, old Freebie Fergie.
She'll do anything for money.
THEY LAUGH
I don't think that's fair.
Oh darling, it's a joke. Come on.
Right, shall we move on to dessert?
Yes. Ooh, yes.
Come on.
Tommy, will you help me
with the plates?
Hello, darling. OK?
Please can we go upstairs?
What?
No. Come on, it's still early.
I'm tired, and
I just don't really feel too good.
OK. Well have a drink.
That'll cheer you up.
I don't need cheering up.
I need not to be ignored
and humiliated
in front of your bloody family.
Why are you being like this?
RICK: Excuse me.
CLEARS THROAT.
Please can we just go upstairs?
You just can't help yourself,
can you?
You just had to make a scene.
I'm not making a scene,
I'm just upset.
You're always upset.
And I am sick to death of it.
If you want to go just go.
ENGINE REVVING
TYRES SQUEAL
PHONE RINGS
'Where the hell are you?'
Like you care.
I could drive off the road,
you'd probably be happy.
'Don't you bloody dare.'
That is my brother's car.
You bring it back.
You bring it back now.
ENGINE REVS INCREASE
Just Just ignore her.
Really, it's the best way.
When she came down
to go to the airport,
my mother said
she had a face like thunder.
She was shouting, screaming,
saying she'd wasted
the last two years of her life.
She just wanted to humiliate Tommy.
Janey called from the car.
It sounded like
the holiday had been a disaster.
She was going on about what
he'd done, what he hadn't done,
how it was definitely over.
'That was with Tommy
sitting right next to her.'
Clearly, things between them
had become completely toxic.
This is ridiculous, Tommy.
You can't keep ignoring me.
We need to talk about things.
You need to hear what I'm saying.
Jesus Christ.
You need to listen to me.
Listen to you?
You didn't shut up
the whole fucking way home.
Not to mention that mortifying
fucking display at the airport
in front of my mother
and poor David. You
You know they both think
you're insane?
I don't care. You can't keep
treating me like this.
And phoning
all of our bloody friends,
wailing and and bawling
and airing
all of our private business.
It was completely
bloody humiliating.
You think that's humiliating?
Yes, I do!
How do you think I feel?!
Finding out you've gone
behind my back with some whore,
sending her those foul emails.
I bet people would love
to read those, wouldn't they?
God's sake, not this again.
Yes, you can't just pretend
that I don't exist!
Oh, I swear to God, right now,
I wish you didn't.
If we were married,
you wouldn't treat me like this.
But you would rather
just keep stringing me along,
as long as Tommy gets what he wants.
You seriously, seriously
still talking about marriage?
Oh, good old Janey. She's good
for fucking, but not much else.
Just shut up.
What if your precious mother
knew what you were really like?
You are sick, do you know that?
ROARS: Shut up!
Will you shut up!
Shut your fucking mouth!
Because it is the truth!
You're the one who's sick.
You're broken.
There is something, like,
deeply, deeply wrong with you,
and I swear to God, Jane,
I wish I'd never met you.
You ruined my life, Tommy.
No, you did that all by yourself.
Well, then I, er,
may as well end it.
HE SIGHS
Get one of those knives
and slash my fucking wrists.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Go on, then.
The knives are right there.
Go on.
Take a knife, slash your wrists.
Be my fucking guest.
Do you know what?
I'll do mine too, shall I?
Put us both out of our misery. Hm?
CLATTERING,
DOOR SLAMS
SHE YELLS,
GLASS SMASHES
Thank you.
Can you put me
through to the police, please?
I'm having a major fight
with my other half.
Yeah.
'I would like to discuss it calmly.
She will not.'
OPERATOR: 'And can you tell me
if anyone's been injured?'
'Not yet.'
'OK, sir.
Where's your other half right now?'
Right here.
'What are they doing?'
Staring at me.
'Right.
'Has anyone actually
been assaulted, sir?'
Not really.
But someone's going to get hurt.
'Can you confirm your name,
please, sir?'
Y-Yes. I'm Thomas Cressman.
'OK, Mr Cressman, what is it
you want the police to do?'
I would like the police
to come and split us up.
I would like someone
to stop us
from hurting each other.
If you don't have somebody
here soon
somebody is.