The Other One (2017) s01e03 Episode Script

(car door closing)
- Siri, do charity shops
accept dead men's pants?
- [Siri] I found
this on the web.
(knocking on door
and doorbell ringing)
- Bloody hell, this
place is well nice.
- Oh, Cathy, thanks for this.
I just felt I needed
to see his other home
before you sold it, for closure.
- Is this is a drawing room?
- Oh, no, no.
I mean, it just looks
big because it's empty.
- Does you mum mind
us coming over?
- She's at her sister's
for the weekend.
She couldn't really
face the move.
It's a lot to process, what
with Dad suddenly dying
and finding out he had
a secret love child.
- Yeah, and the fact
that their marriage
was a lie for three decades.
- Yeah.
And that.
(upbeat music)
Do you believe in magic
in a young girl's heart
So, guys, I have been
batting around the idea
of getting a memorial
bench for Dad.
- Oh, like a Princess
Diana fountain.
- I imagine the sort of
essence of Princess Diana's
fountain but kind of
distilled into a bench.
- Great, we'll chip in.
- Oh, amazing.
Well I've been researching
reliably hard woods and-
- (chuckles) That's very
apt for your father.
- And reclaimed oak's probably
gonna be our best bet,
so that is 426
pounds for the bench
and 226 pounds for the
plot, so all in all,
it's probably gonna be around
and about 344 pounds each.
- Great.
- Amazing.
- Nice wheels. This yours?
- Oh yeah, Dad got
me that for my 14th.
I got up to some pretty
crazy shit on that bad boy,
delivering the old parish mag.
Gazine.
- I always wanted
a bike like this.
Dad said he'd get me one,
but instead you got it.
(laughing)
Joking.
- You know what, you have it.
- No, no.
- Seriously, it would
mean the world to me
if you took the bike.
- Bloody hell, you sure?
- And if you want anything else,
then just go for your life.
- What, anything?
- Yeah, seriously, dig in, God.
You'd be doing me a V big fave.
Right, I better bust a move.
- You leaving?
- I know it sucks, but since
you guys were two hours late,
it sort of ate into our us time.
And it's the first day
in our new love nest.
Ew, gross, sorry, don't
know why I said that.
- Oh, I'm really
sensing your dad here.
Did he often lean
over this counter?
- Well, I mean, he would
very occasionally
lean over the sink
to open the window if
the drains got eggy.
- Mm-hm, I thought so.
- God I can't believe I'm
saying goodbye to this place.
I mean, I know we have to
sell it, but it's just,
it's like saying
goodbye to my childhood.
There are so many-
(ice rattling)
- Oh my God.
Your fridge makes snow.
- Good.
- Wow.
(upbeat music)
- [Cathy] Hello, I'm home.
Where are you, upstairs?
- The new mattress has arrived.
- Oh, I can't wait.
What's the old one
still doing here?
I thought the removals guys were
supposed to take it with them.
- Were they?
- Yeah.
- Come on, try out the new bed.
Come on.
Oh (laughs).
Oh, I love memory foam.
I can actually feel my
back thanking me for this.
Whew.
- Sorry, I can't relax
with that looming over me.
- What are you doing?
That's way too heavy.
- No, I'm okay.
I'm not a damsel in
distress, Marcus.
I'm fine.
It's light, if anything.
- Okay, well, use
your back properly.
- [Cathy] Yes, thank
you, I can do this.
Just stop mansplaining
everything to me.
- It's no problem for me to-
- Just leave it, okay, Marcus.
It's fine there.
Good.
I'm gonna make dinner.
It's a beautiful morning
(birds chirping)
(upbeat music)
- Oh my.
(upbeat rock music)
Police?
Yeah, sorry, hi, I think
we've been burgled.
My God, I mean they've
literally taken everything.
(upbeat music)
Uh, sorry.
Do you know what? Scrap that.
No, sorry.
(sighing)
Cat.
(children shouting and playing)
- [Cat] What about
Dad's toothbrush?
- [Marilyn] Put that
on the keep pile.
I'm looking for that
the way it is now.
(doorbell ringing)
Oh, hang on.
- Cathy, hi ya.
Mum! Mum, it's Cathy.
- [Cathy] Yeah, you forget
the bike I gave you.
- Mum, help me shift
this freezer, will you?
Hold on.
- Definitely keep.
I can just picture his lovely
feet bubbling away in there.
- [Cathy] That was
actually my mum's.
- Chuck it.
(banging)
- Yea or nay?
- Actually, sorry, do
you mind if I keep that?
- Sorry, Cathy, did you
want some of this stuff?
You did say help yourself
to anything and everything.
- Yep, yes.
I did say that.
I just didn't realize you'd
be so bloody thorough.
I actually thought
we'd been burgled.
I was this close to
calling the police.
I did call the police (laughs).
- I can assure you, I will
treasure your dad's treasures
as though they were my
own internal organs.
(water bubbling)
- [Cathy] Are you
soda streaming wine?
- Yeah, we had
fizzy tea earlier.
Right, a toast.
To new sisters,
new asses,
and a shitload of new old shit.
- [All] Cheers (clink glasses).
- Oh.
- Ooh.
(belching)
- Excuse me.
- Swear to Ann, I am never
drinking flat wine again.
- Are you sure you
don't want to stay?
- Thank you, but we got
the sky engineers coming.
I don't really wanna give
money to the men who came by,
but Marcus want his cricket, so.
Ooh, while I remember.
We have to think of something
to write on the plague.
It's only another 20 quid or so.
- Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Don't it look like Argus just
threw up all over the lawn?
- It's more like John Lewis.
Most of these items
are which Best Buys.
- You serious?
- Also, I didn't wanna ruin
the moment earlier, but
your mum is drinking box fizz
out of my old
menstrual moon cup.
So, um.
(upbeat rock music)
- [Cat] Mum, don't
drink the champagne.
(upbeat rock music)
We've been together
since way back when
- Hm, it's my brother
in his surgeon scrubs.
He led his first cataract today.
As of today, every
man in my family
is a surgeon, apart from me.
I think my dad would
really respect me for that.
- She's selling my
mum's old Stair Master.
Look, on Cat's Facebook.
That's my pony saddle.
Oh my God, my moon cup.
They literally gutted the house.
I thought we'd been burgled.
I called the police.
- Why did you do that?
- Because I thought
we'd been burgled.
- Well why didn't
you call me first?
- I should be the first
person you call in a crisis.
That's my job.
- I think you're
slightly overreacting.
- No, no, I'm not.
You didn't call me when you
thought you'd been burgled.
You didn't call me when you
got suspended from work.
- That was compassionate leave.
- You won't even let
me shift that mattress.
I get it.
You're an independent,
kick-ass lady,
and that's a real
turn-on for me.
I am your manbassador.
But, every now and
again, it would feel nice
to know that I'm needed.
- Of course I need you.
I love you.
- I love you.
Yum, your hair smells so good.
- Oh my God, she's
selling my bike.
What a piece of-
- Because I think
it's important to be
absolutely honest
about our feelings.
- Yeah, 100%,
we're family, babe.
- And I'm not gonna beat
around the bush here.
I'm really gonna
come out and say it.
Just about the whole sort of
selling stuff on eBay thing.
And don't get me wrong,
I am all for initiative.
Give a man a fish and all that.
But, um, God, it's
cool and things,
but where my grievances
sort of circle, I guess,
ah, I'm just really
peed off about the bike.
- The truth is, Cathy,
I've been trying to raise
money for Dad's bench.
- Oh, why didn't you tell me?
God, I feel awful now.
(doorbell ringing)
- [Cat] Hey, yo.
- I've come for the slow cooker.
- [Cat] Bad timing, can
you just wait, mate?
- Not exactly, I'm
on shift so I don't-
Don't bother
advertising it then.
- Listen, Cathy, things
haven't been great at Deliveroo
since they brought the
driver rater system in,
and I'm still fighting
to clear my name
over the missing Numbrad.
- How dare they?
- Also, um, I can't
actually ride a bike.
Dad said he'd teach me,
but he always had to get
back to his other home.
- That's really not cool of
Dad not to give you lessons.
Riding a bike's like
a rite of passage.
Like, pony club camp
or rounder exams.
- Well you could teach me.
- Yeah.
I mean, I guess I could.
- Really, I'm gonna ride a bike?
Mum, did you hear that,
I'm gonna ride a bike.
I'm free first thing tomorrow
morning. We could do early.
- What, like, eight?
- 11:30.
(knocking on window)
God, what is this guy's problem?
- Sorry, I've got a
suspected burst appendix.
Can I get that cooker?
- I don't want a strange
man in the house.
It would be disrespectful
to your father's ghost.
- No one told me
an internet startup
would be this much
bloody hard work.
- Well it's an eBay account.
- No, that's how Amazon started.
- That's not how Amazon started.
(alarm blaring)
(birds chirping)
- Hey, early worm,
come back to bed.
- I'm really sorry, but
I've got stuff to do.
- Come on, bit of sex music.
I'll pop to Patval
for croissants.
We can christen
the new mattress.
- I'm really sorry, but
I promised my sister I'd
teach her how to ride a bike.
- She's 28.
- Don't.
28 years old, and she still
doesn't know how to ride a bike.
My dad let her down,
so I've gotta step up.
- Oh come on, my love.
- Look, I'm really sorry.
I made my sister a promise.
- Like a promise to
spend the weekend
unpacking with someone.
- Like a promise not to
send dick pics to someone.
- Okay, low blow.
You can't hold that
against me forever.
I made a mistake. I apologized.
I've changed.
Do you know what?
You're punishing me for
your dad's behavior.
Guess I'll just christen
the bed on my own then.
- [Cathy] Just get
rid of the mattress.
- I'm folding my online empire.
- Really? I thought
you loved it.
- We've made enough money
for half the memorial bench,
and a little bit
of pocket money.
So I basically hit my career
goal in the first week.
- Right.
I think that's about
the right height.
Gonna pop the
stabilizers on now.
- I'm not for stabilizers.
I'm not gonna ride dick out.
- Do you wanna pop a helmet on?
- Not interested, babe,
I'm going bareback.
- Okay.
- Woo, very shaky.
- Okay.
- Okay, I'm ready.
Not a piece of piss.
No, no no no, no, no.
(doorbell ringing)
- Hello, pattycake,
pattycake, baker's man,
bake me a cake as
fast as you can.
Stupid user name.
It's just that pattycake,
pattycake and pattycake,
pattycake, baker's man were
both being taken, so I-
I'm awful at that then.
I'm here to collect the bike.
- Oh, did you sort
this with my daughter?
- Yeah, Mrs. Justin
Timberlake 1991?
- Hang on.
- [Recording] You've
reached Cat's phone.
Leave a message after the beep.
(phone beeping)
- Cat? You need to come
back with the bike urgently.
Call me when you get this.
Oh.
(phone hanging up)
She'll be 10 minutes.
She's having one
last go on the bike.
So.
Can I get you a cup of
tea while you're waiting?
- Wouldn't say no.
- [Marilyn] Still or sparkling?
- [Pat] Still.
(upbeat music)
- Let's see that here, man.
(upbeat music)
Tumble outta bed and I
stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a
cup of ambition
And yawn and stretch
and try to come to life
Jump in the shower, and
the blood starts pumping
Out on the streets, the
traffic starts jumping
With folks like me on
the job from nine to five
(screaming)
- [Woman] Excuse me.
You couldn't help me with his
chest of drawers, could you?
- Who, me?
- Yeah, I could do
with a bit of brawn.
- Of course, no problem.
Working nine to five
What a way to make a living
Barely getting by, it's
all taking and no giving
They just use your mind
And they never
give you credit
(screaming)
- Boy you make that
look dead easy.
- Excuse me, fella, I couldn't
borrow you for a minute,
could I, just to chuck
this washing machine?
- Pleasure's all my mine.
Working nine to five,
what a way to make-
- Lovely boat there.
- That was my late
lover's pride and joy.
Apart from me and his
daughters, and his wife.
He actually passed
away recently.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
I've been there.
I am there.
Actually lost my wife at
the beginning of the year.
- Bloody hell.
How are you coping?
- Horrible.
Those first few
months, just horrible.
Claudine.
Claude.
She's French. Was French.
Sorry.
- Oh, she looks incredibly sexy.
- [Pat] Yeah.
- Colin, my soulmate.
He was incredibly sexy too.
- Yeah, both bagged a couple
of hotties there, didn't we?
(chuckling)
- Do you want to come in?
- Love to.
- See now I know why they say
this is as easy
as riding a bike.
- Okay, stop, stop
stop, stop stop stop.
Okay.
You're doing really well, right,
but remember how we
talked about using the la-
the la, la, la.
- Left brake.
- Exactly, because if
you use the right brake,
you're gonna go
over the handlebars.
All right?
Okay, I think it's time
to spread your wings.
I'll pull myself away.
- No, no, come back.
- No no no, no, you're fine,
just keep on doing
like you're doing.
- No, Cathy, hold on to me.
- You're absolutely brilliant.
Keep doing what you're doing.
- This is shit, seriously.
This is really shit.
Missed call from me mum.
- Okay well.
- So shit.
- Right, brilliant.
Absolutely no way
to treat a bike.
(soft music)
- I sent Claudine an
email the other day.
We're on this
Strictly mailing list,
and the tour came up on sale,
and I forwarded her the message.
She was really big
into Anton du Beke.
Stupid.
- No judgment from me.
I'm buried alive in
Colin's belongings.
I can't get into
my downstairs bath
because it's full of his duvets.
I just love the smell
of it all, you know.
Breaks my heart to think
it's just gonna fade away.
- Hey.
Look at us two, eh.
Sobbing like a pair
of schoolgirls.
(phone ringing)
Somebody's knocking
at the door
Somebody's ringing the bell
Phone's ringing.
(phone ringing)
- Mm?
- Phone, it's ringing.
- Oh.
(phone ringing)
Let them in
It's fine. Don't hurry.
Just take your time, okay?
Don't hurry back.
No, don't come back yet.
- Can we just go and get
Mr. Whippy's or something?
- Come on, back on the bike.
- No, Cathy, I can't do it.
Like I ride too bad.
- You look like Bradley Wiggins.
- Exactly.
- Come on, Cat.
Think of all the bike
rides we could do together.
We could cycle to the Dordogne.
All right, if you do
this, I will give you
a credit note from Uniqlo.
- All right, fine.
- Brilliant.
- All right.
- Okay, let's get her
back onto the path.
- This one here?
- Excuse me, where would a
Christmas tree go, please?
- Second container on the left.
But if you leave it here,
I'll chuck it for you.
- Oh.
(screaming)
(television banging)
- Oi, you, move your car or
I'll do you for loitering.
Show some respect, mate.
It's a recycle
center, not the beach.
- All right, I was
just helping this
young lady with her television.
- Don't give a monkey's
mate, move your car.
- Sure.
Can't a guy give back to his
community in peace around here?
- Move your car, or I'll tow it.
- All right, Officer.
- What'd you say?
- Nothing, God.
Are you okay?
- I just accidentally
dropped me glasses.
You couldn't help me
fish them out, could you?
- Yeah.
- I asked the man at the
entrance, but he won't help.
- Allow me to be your
knight in shining armor.
- Thank you. I'm ever
so grateful for this.
- Really, it's totally cool.
You're lucky I'm one
of the good guys.
(groaning)
- Amazing, thank you so much.
Here, can you pass
me that metal pipe
while you're down there,
the copper-colored one?
- What, this old thing?
- Yeah, and that one next to it.
- [Worker] Oi, I've warned
you about skid tipping.
- Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
(water bubbling)
- Do you think your daughter'll
be very much longer?
Karen is gonna love that bike.
- Is that your daughter?
- No, Karen's my wife.
My new wife.
- But your old wife's just died.
- It's mad, isn't it?
You just don't know when
Cupid's gonna strike.
And I certainly
wasn't expecting it
at me daughter's 21st birthday.
With her best friend Karen.
I only have eyes for you
- Excuse me a minute.
- Yeah.
- Cat, pick up.
Pick up the phone.
Where the hell are you?
- You could do this, Cat.
- Yeah.
- You're doing it.
I'm gonna let go, and you
see how far you can go, okay?
- Yeah, okay.
- Right, go.
(upbeat music)
Oh my God, you're doing it, Cat.
You go, girl.
I'm so proud of you,
Cat. Ride like the wind.
Careful.
- Move out of the way.
(crashing)
- Oh, no.
You okay?
- I'm fine.
- Oh my God.
- What, I'm fine.
- Your tooth, oh,
I'm gonna be sick.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
- Oh shit.
- Okay, okay, what should we do?
Think, think think think.
I'm gonna call Marcus.
I'm calling Marcus, Cat, okay.
- Uh.
(phone vibrating)
- Cathy?
Cathy?
- Oh my God, Marcus,
it's horrible.
- Whoa, whoa, deep
breaths, calm down.
- Cat, she's knocked
her tooth out.
I mean, there is
blood everywhere.
What should I do?
- Okay, how many teeth
are we talking about?
- Look at the freaking long one.
- It's one, it's just one.
- Get her home, and
put the tooth in milk,
and get her to a dentist.
- I ain't got to a dentist.
- What?
Why?
- I did have one,
but he got struck off
for faking his qualifications.
I ain't got one.
- I'll call my dentist.
I'll sort this,
Cathy, I've got this.
- Okay, thank you.
Thank you, thank you so much.
I can't thank you enough.
I love you.
- I love you.
Cathy, wait wait,
are you still there?
Shit!
- Did you say that you did
have yogurt in your house?
- Oh, Cathy, please.
- Sorry, sorry, okay.
Lucky it didn't happen to
me, because you I'm dairy
intolerant so I
only have oat milk.
- Cathy, please.
- Sorry.
- Please.
What's this?
- Hi, I've come to
collect the bike.
Thanks.
Here's your, uh-
- Thank you.
- Good day.
(children shouting and playing)
- Oh, it's made a
right mess of her face.
- I feel horribly responsible,
but Marcus has managed
to wangle an emergency
appointment at the
dentist, so, uh.
- Here you are, the eBay
money for the memorial bench.
- What?
No, obviously, I
can't take this.
Please.
Have the money for your tooth.
- Oh my God, like
the tooth fairy.
- Oh.
- No, to pay for your new tooth.
- What about the bench?
- Dad would
absolutely understand.
- Take this, as a thank you.
(upbeat music)
(groaning)
- Hey, babe, where
do you want this box?
- Oh, just put it
in the sitting room.
(upbeat music)
(groaning)
(phone pinging)
(Marcus groaning)
- [Marcus] Oh, I think
I've thrown my back in.
(bird calling)
- Ta da.
What do you think?
- [Cathy] Wow, that is fresh.
- Always wanted enamels,
now I've got me first.
- Hm.
- Hey, I've got you
something, as a thank you.
- Is that our old swing bench?
- Yeah.
I haven't been up here since
we scattered Dad's ashes.
See.
Got a plaque and everything.
- [Cathy] Think I'm gonna cry.
- Sit down.
Oh.
- Oh, God.
- Champagne.
Don't wipe it.
- Okay.
Ah.
- It's beautiful
up here, isn't it?
- Where do you think
he is now, Dad?
Like, where do you
think he's gone to?
- What, like heaven?
Don't know.
I think when you
die, you go home
and everyone's waiting for you.
Like your aunties and your
uncles and your cousins
and your grandparents
who you've never met
because they've all died
in like whatever
plague that was.
- I used to think that when
you died that that was it.
Lights out.
I've lost that certainty.
Dad's love kind of
just evaporated.
I mean, I can still feel it.
And he's gotta be somewhere.
- Well, wherever he is,
I guarantee it's not
where we think he is.
Right.
Come on, get in.
- Is that the new iPhone?
- Leftover eBay money, I
thought I'd treat myself.
(camera clicking)
God, I love it.
(upbeat music)
- [Cathy] I'm not
in that at all.
There's a road I
know I must go.
Even though I tell myself
that road is closed
You can only see birds
You've been away
from land too long
Far too long