The Young Offenders (2018) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
1
Jock says that when it comes to
women, you can't show any weakness
and whatever the fuck you do,
never, ever apologise.
How many times do
I have to say I'm sorry?
Ya don't have to say it at all,
it would suit me better if ya just
fucked off and didn't speak to me
ever again. It was an accident!
Ya punched my father in the face?!
What if de next time ya
"accidentally" punch me in de face?
I couldn't punch ya in the face.
Yer too tall.
Jock also says women usually mean
the exact opposite of what they say.
Like
Would ya fuck off
and leave me alone?!
Ya don't shift someone
and pretend it meant nothin'.
I shift every fella dat way,
whether I like 'em or not.
But it felt so meanin'ful.
Dat's just how I do it.
I can't help it if fellas, like you,
act mental after it.
I think I've a plan.
Remember de last time ya had a plan?
No-one lives here, it's perfect for
storin' shit until we sell it.
Ah, yer a genius, boy!
DOG BARKS
Get out ma gaff,
ya little fuckin' pricks!
I'm pretty sure dis plan will work.
Let's just talk it true,
what is it?
Nah, if we talk it true
we might decide
it's a shit plan and not do it.
Conor! Shit.
Ya both want us to fuck off
and stop annoyin' you, right?
Yes.
Finally, it's gettin' through.
No problem.
What de fuck?
On one condition
We get one day to try
and change yer mind.
One whole day without ya
running away from us.
The four of us together.
Fuck dat. Tink about it.
It's only one day dat ya have
to tolerate us,
or else we'll annoy de livin' shit
out of ya for the rest of de year.
Give us a second.
Dis is a brutal idea.
One day isn't enough to break dem.
Come on, yer de one dat's good at
maths, work it out.
We get a whole day.
If we add up all de five minutes
dat we're getting at the moment
dat's like a year's
worth of time all compressed.
Oh, I didn't tink about it like that
actually.
When?
Tomorrow.
We'll take a doss day.
Haven't you used up
all your sick days?
One more and ya might have to
repeat de Junior Cert.
Fuck de Junior Cert,
yer more important.
SHE MOUTHS
What about yer da?
We'll get 'round him.
After tomorrow, ya can't talk to us,
ya can't even look at us.
As ya wish, my love.
And stop with dat love shit.
As ya wish.
9am - at de back school gates?
If I'm ever a parent, der'll be none
of dis negativity all de time
Whatever my kid wants to do,
I'm goin' to be supportive.
Not a chance in hell are you
gettin' dat tattooed across yer
back.
Just cos ya
don't like LCD Sound System.
What's with de third plate?
Anthony is joinin' us for dinner.
Anthony? Yes, Anthony.
Tony? Tony?
Sergeant Tony Healy.
Healy?! Yes, Healy!
Are you and him?
Jesus, no
We're justfriends.
Yer friends with a Garda?
Do ya know how fucked up dat is?
DOORBELL RINGS
Shut up, he'll hear ya.
Go on, let him in.
Hiya.
Hiya.
What do you tink of dat?
He wants to tattoo it across his
entire back.
It's spelled wrong.
LCD?
Can we not discuss dis
while we have a guest?!
Sure, der's nothin' to discuss,
I'm gettin' it done.
I bet dis was Jock's idea.
It's actually my idea.
But he's gettin' de same one.
Ye two are a pair of fuckin'
idiots, do you know that?
Get back in here for yer dinner!
Fuck you! Fuck you, too!
More for us.
It's just one doss day.
All the other kids take doss days.
But they're not supposed to
and all the other kids' parents,
they're not
principal of the school.
Dat wasn't our fuckin'
choice now was it.
Say that again?
Did I miss a family meeting?
Since when was it OK
to swear at your parents?
I wonder where
she gets that from. Fuck off.
SHE SNIFFS
What now?
Nothin'.
You're getting
tears all over yer chips.
Ya have no idea how hard it is bein'
in that school
with you as principal.
We get picked on every day.
It's just one doss day,
so we can act like normal kids.
At least we're tellin' ya about it
and not doin' it behind yer back.
SHE MOUTHS
Dat was one of yer better ones.
Tanks.
I always know
when Jock has somethin'
serious on his mind cos he does
the same ting over and over.
What's wrong wit ya?
Tinkin' 'bout me mam.
She died two years ago today.
I forgot all about it.
Sorry bhoy.
Tanks.
Jock's mam was like two parents
rolled into one. She had to be.
Cos his da is only good at one
thing
Ya can't be thinkin' about yer dead
mam when de girls get here.
Ya gotta be happy and smiley.
Back a little.
Bikes? Do we look like we're
dressed for bikes?!
What are ya doing wearin' that?
Ya said we'd be doin' nice tings.
And dese are our nice clothes,
for doin' nice tings.
Look, I like dat slutty stuff,
it's just it's 9am in de mornin'
Where did ya tink we were goin'?
Dis is not a good start to the day.
I can't help but help feel a little
bit proud that Principal Walsh has
me mam on speed dial.
What do ya mean he's not in school?
You mean he's not there?
Eh
Yes, he is He's not well.
He's reached the maximum amount of
sick days allowed in any one year.
Yeah, we're all very worried,
hopefully he'll pull through.
The school rules clearly state
he'll Tanks. Bye.
..that he'll have to resit the
Junior Cert
Hello? Hello, Ms MacSweeney?
They are only the days I got caught.
The real number's 42.
Pick up, ya little bollocks!
Sorry? Not you. Hang on.
It's Mam. Tink she knows I'm gonna
doss before I do.
It's Conor. You know what to do.
Do it fuckin' now.
Call me back, ya little prick.
Come on, will ye? Hurry up!
Come on! This is the start of a
beautiful adventure.
I bet he's gone with Jock to
get dat retarded tattoo
plastered across his back.
Do ya know how much dat'll cost
to get removed?
Um It was 200 to remove my ex's
name from my backside
and it was only dat size.
Do you have a picture of Conor?
What for?
He's a minor, he has to be
over 18 by law to get a tattoo.
I'll let all the parlours know
they'll have me to answer to
if they even put one fucking
dot of ink on his back.
You'd do dat?
I'm a member of the Garda Siochana.
It's my duty.
Thanks.
Some dickheads are after stealin'
our bikes.
Well, that's what happens when you
leave them unattended in yer garage.
See these lads? No.
Me chain's after comin' off.
Were ya back peddlin' again?
Wat if I was? It just means we'll
have to keep stoppin'
to put de chain back on
which is a bit of a waste of time
when we could be doin'
more fun stuff.
Wat's wrong with ya?
I got this bike tinkin' it would be
good cos it had suspension,
but it still hurts me arse, like.
I checked it last night. It's like a
bruise in the shape of the saddle.
How de ye check it?
How everyone checks it.
Go to the doctor? No. I'm not havin'
a doctor look at my arsehole.
I put the mirror on the floor and
just looked down, like.
So you saw yer arse crack and yer
arsehole and everything there?
Don't tell me you never look!
Dat's disgustin'!
I'm just sayin', even a child knows
not to backpedal on a gear bike.
Did I ask to
cycle a fuckin' bike?
If I had known we were cyclin'
bikes I wouldn't have worn heels.
And if I don't backpedal my fuckin'
heels fall off, all right?!
No need to fuckin' shout.
Do ya want a kick?
Fuck!
Conor!
Your mam's looking for you!
If he sees these bikes we're fucked.
Cycle, quick!
Wat's wrong with de bikes?
We borrowed dem. From who?
Not sure, dat's de problem.
We're cyclin' stolen bikes?!
I know, excitin', isn't it? Come on!
Come on, pedal, pedal, pedal!
I can't get me
feet in the fuckin' hoops.
Ya don't need to, just fuckin'
pedal, will ya!
Fuck's sake!
All women need to see is a bit of
skin to get dem in the mood.
It's a bikini. I know. I'm not
wearing it.
Why not?
Cos dere's perverts around.
Where?
I'm talkin' about the pair of ye,
idiot!
Come on, get changed?
Not a fuckin' chance.
What was the point in comin'
here, then?
Good question.
How do ya tink things are goin'
wit dem?
All right. Dey're still talkin'
to us which is the main thing.
Shit, der lookin', der lookin'.
Makes yer dick look bigger, warm it
up.
BOTH: What are ye doin, bhoy?!
Wat de fuck!
Why did ye do that?
I was warmin' up mine.
Same.
THEY LAUGH
Oh, my God!
De ye want to never talk about that
again? Yeah.
It's just cos the height,
I got confused. Me too.
Jock says I sound like a little
girl when I jump off tings. But
dat's total bullshit.
CONOR SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL
What's he doin'?
Swimmin'.
Dat doesn't look like swimmin',
it looks like he's drownin', slowly.
He's still learnin'.
Is he all right? Should we throw him
a life ring?
This is so embarrassing!
We'll give him another minute.
You all right, kid?
Go 'way, don't talk to me!
Wat?
Stand over dere
until those people are gone.
I brought a picnic.
And just as we're making great
progress with the girls
Who did that?
We did.
Dat's really ungrateful.
Dey were rotten.
We've been doin' nothin'
but nice tings for you all day
'n' all yer doin' is flingin'
it back at us.
You haven't done wan nice
ting for us,
you've just bin draggin' us
along to whatever you wanted to do.
Yer showin' yer true colours.
Wat colours are dem?
Selfish, bitchy colours.
Fuck dis, I've had enough.
His mam's dead two years today.
Come on, let's go to de graveyard.
No, yer supposed to be havin' fun.
Anything'll be more fun dan dis.
I would have had the sandwich, just
don't like cheese.
I can take the cheese out and leave
you with chicken.
I like chicken.
Same.
Thanks. It's all right.
Goin' to visit someone at their
grave is such a strange ting to do.
It's kinda like visitin'
someone at der house when you known
they're not in.
I guess we all just need somewhere
to go when the person we've lost
is on our mind, rather than then
visiting them
in our memories over and over again.
Wat?
Me da.
It's bin a shit enough day without
bumpin' into dat prick.
Come on.
What was she like?
A bit of a joker.
She thought she was hilarious.
But she wasn't.
Like when we went to order
a Chinese takeaway
and she'd put on a Chinese accent
and say
"That's the 'wong' order,
I ordered the 'Young Dumb Fuck'."
Or Indian
"Last time I ate here I spent the
whole night vin-the-loo."
She was lovely, though.
The best.
She's so young. How did she die?
She drowned.
Her car was parked
by the slipway in Passage.
Dey never found de body.
So, she's not here?
She is here.
So she's buried here?
No. But she's here.
I'm confused, how can she be both.
Is she here or not?
Yes, but no.
# Through the storm
we reached the shore
# You give it all
but I want more #
Her favourite song.
# And I'm waiting for you
# With or without you
# With or without you, ah-ha
# I can't live
# With or without you
# And you give yourself away
Oooh-hooo
# And you give yourself away
# And you give
And you give
# And you give yourself away
# With or without you
With or without you
# Ah-ha
# I can't live
# With or without you
# Oh, oh, oh ooohhhhhh
# Oh, oh, oh ooohhhhhh
# Oh, oh, oh ooohhhhhh
# Oohh-oohh
# With or without you
# Youuuu. #
See ya later, Mam.
There's nothin' worse than going to
the trouble of stealin' a load
of bikes only to have some thievin'
bastards robbin' dem from you.
Fuck!
Get back here, ya thievin'
little pricks.
Fuck off!
At least give us
a crosser back into town!
Go away and kiss me mam's hole!
Do you have you got any money for
the bus?
Sayin' sorry is one of dem tings
that must get harder as you get
older.
Like, it's not often you hear a
50-year-old say sorry to a
two-year-old.
But when older people do say sorry,
they usually mean it.
Are dey our bikes?
Hey!
Fuck off, bhoy!
Stay where you are, you're under
arrest!
Stop fuckin' movin'!
Stop fuckin' movin'!
Serves ya right, ya thievin' little
pricks!
Fuckin' stupid cunt!
Yer a snarky little prick.
Fuckin'
Dat could have bin us.
Could have bin, would have bin,
should have bin, but
..it wasn't.
Conor, how many times has stuff
nearly happened to us,
but den didn't happen in the end?
Millions.
Something nearly happen to us nearly
every single day, and den doesn't.
If everythin' dat nearly happened
to us, actually happened
We'd have way too much stuff to do.
Fuck it anyway!
Wat's wrong wit ya?
Dis was supposed to be
a day you'll remember for de
rest of yer lives, and cos ya
spent it with us you'd remember
us for de rest of yer lives, instead
we spent it cryin' at de graveyard.
Not every day turns out the way you
expect, but it wasn't a bad day.
DISTANT CHEERING AND SHOUTING AND
WHISTLES BLOWING
What's dat noise?
Sounds like a football match
or something.
Come on, let's see who can gob off
the bridge de furthest.
THEY HOCK UP SALIVA INTO THEIR
MOUTHS
Ready. Yep.
One
..two
..tree
Is dis actually happenin'?! Fuck!
Holy fuckin' shit!
Sorry for spittin' on you,
whale family.
REPORTER: It's high tide here and
the family of orcas have decided to
make a trip right
into the heart of Cork city.
Crowds of spectators have
gathered around to catch
a glimpse of these giant fish.
I'm here with some of the locals who
witnessed the spectacular events
of today. Can you tell me a bit
about what you saw?
Der BLEEPING flippers came flying
out of de BLEEPING water.
No, der BLEEPING tails!
No, de BLEEPING ting at de end,
whatever dey BLEEPING call it.
I've never seen a BLEEPING
whale before.
It was BLEEPING amazing!
Big BLEEPING, BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP!
BLEEPING hell!
Well, I think that says it all.
Back to you in the studio.
I suppose I'll see you later?
Yeah, I'll see you later.
Remember the deal - no talkin' to me
after today.
Yeah. OK.
You just said Shh!
No talkin'.
As you wish.
Dis was me first time spendin'
a whole day with a woman other
that me mam
Feelin' pretty confident.
So I Sorry.
Don't know why I shouted that.
So I was just going to say
You know cos
Because they're goin' to be hangin'
out together loads now and stuff,
I was just worried that you were
going to be, um
..kind of just really lonely and sad
all the time.
Because you don't have another
friend now, I was thinkin' that I
could maybe
Kind of like swoop in like
a Like an eagle and, and, er
And chat to you so you're not lonely
in school and stuff.
Only if you want to, like?
I'm not bothered if you're not.
But, please
Der's 500 other pupils in de school.
Why would I want to hang out wit
you?
Yeah. Of course, yeah, stupid.
All right, then.
Yeah. I'm just fuckin' with ya.
You Ah, ha-ha! Great!
Talk to you tomorrow? Yeah.
See you tomorrow. See you later.
Ha-ha!
Now we're quits.
I wonder wat dey're doin'
so close to land.
Dey were just talkin'
about it dere
Apparently de mother's not
feeling well, and dey come to shore
when it's time to pass away.
She's gonna die?
ORCHESTRAL VERSION OF
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU PLAYS
Your mam's been
looking for you all day.
Come on, let's get you home.
CONOR: I tink dere's somethin'
inside everyone that connects them
to their mam, in a way dat yer not
connected to anyone else
Did you get yer tattoo?
Fuck's sake.
Even if dey wreck yer head most of
the time.
Go on, son, let me see it.
It's only when ya picture yer mam
gone dat ya realise how much
ya like dem bein' around.
Jock got de same one.
It's beautiful.
ORCHESTRAL VERSION OF
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU CONTINUES
Jock says that when it comes to
women, you can't show any weakness
and whatever the fuck you do,
never, ever apologise.
How many times do
I have to say I'm sorry?
Ya don't have to say it at all,
it would suit me better if ya just
fucked off and didn't speak to me
ever again. It was an accident!
Ya punched my father in the face?!
What if de next time ya
"accidentally" punch me in de face?
I couldn't punch ya in the face.
Yer too tall.
Jock also says women usually mean
the exact opposite of what they say.
Like
Would ya fuck off
and leave me alone?!
Ya don't shift someone
and pretend it meant nothin'.
I shift every fella dat way,
whether I like 'em or not.
But it felt so meanin'ful.
Dat's just how I do it.
I can't help it if fellas, like you,
act mental after it.
I think I've a plan.
Remember de last time ya had a plan?
No-one lives here, it's perfect for
storin' shit until we sell it.
Ah, yer a genius, boy!
DOG BARKS
Get out ma gaff,
ya little fuckin' pricks!
I'm pretty sure dis plan will work.
Let's just talk it true,
what is it?
Nah, if we talk it true
we might decide
it's a shit plan and not do it.
Conor! Shit.
Ya both want us to fuck off
and stop annoyin' you, right?
Yes.
Finally, it's gettin' through.
No problem.
What de fuck?
On one condition
We get one day to try
and change yer mind.
One whole day without ya
running away from us.
The four of us together.
Fuck dat. Tink about it.
It's only one day dat ya have
to tolerate us,
or else we'll annoy de livin' shit
out of ya for the rest of de year.
Give us a second.
Dis is a brutal idea.
One day isn't enough to break dem.
Come on, yer de one dat's good at
maths, work it out.
We get a whole day.
If we add up all de five minutes
dat we're getting at the moment
dat's like a year's
worth of time all compressed.
Oh, I didn't tink about it like that
actually.
When?
Tomorrow.
We'll take a doss day.
Haven't you used up
all your sick days?
One more and ya might have to
repeat de Junior Cert.
Fuck de Junior Cert,
yer more important.
SHE MOUTHS
What about yer da?
We'll get 'round him.
After tomorrow, ya can't talk to us,
ya can't even look at us.
As ya wish, my love.
And stop with dat love shit.
As ya wish.
9am - at de back school gates?
If I'm ever a parent, der'll be none
of dis negativity all de time
Whatever my kid wants to do,
I'm goin' to be supportive.
Not a chance in hell are you
gettin' dat tattooed across yer
back.
Just cos ya
don't like LCD Sound System.
What's with de third plate?
Anthony is joinin' us for dinner.
Anthony? Yes, Anthony.
Tony? Tony?
Sergeant Tony Healy.
Healy?! Yes, Healy!
Are you and him?
Jesus, no
We're justfriends.
Yer friends with a Garda?
Do ya know how fucked up dat is?
DOORBELL RINGS
Shut up, he'll hear ya.
Go on, let him in.
Hiya.
Hiya.
What do you tink of dat?
He wants to tattoo it across his
entire back.
It's spelled wrong.
LCD?
Can we not discuss dis
while we have a guest?!
Sure, der's nothin' to discuss,
I'm gettin' it done.
I bet dis was Jock's idea.
It's actually my idea.
But he's gettin' de same one.
Ye two are a pair of fuckin'
idiots, do you know that?
Get back in here for yer dinner!
Fuck you! Fuck you, too!
More for us.
It's just one doss day.
All the other kids take doss days.
But they're not supposed to
and all the other kids' parents,
they're not
principal of the school.
Dat wasn't our fuckin'
choice now was it.
Say that again?
Did I miss a family meeting?
Since when was it OK
to swear at your parents?
I wonder where
she gets that from. Fuck off.
SHE SNIFFS
What now?
Nothin'.
You're getting
tears all over yer chips.
Ya have no idea how hard it is bein'
in that school
with you as principal.
We get picked on every day.
It's just one doss day,
so we can act like normal kids.
At least we're tellin' ya about it
and not doin' it behind yer back.
SHE MOUTHS
Dat was one of yer better ones.
Tanks.
I always know
when Jock has somethin'
serious on his mind cos he does
the same ting over and over.
What's wrong wit ya?
Tinkin' 'bout me mam.
She died two years ago today.
I forgot all about it.
Sorry bhoy.
Tanks.
Jock's mam was like two parents
rolled into one. She had to be.
Cos his da is only good at one
thing
Ya can't be thinkin' about yer dead
mam when de girls get here.
Ya gotta be happy and smiley.
Back a little.
Bikes? Do we look like we're
dressed for bikes?!
What are ya doing wearin' that?
Ya said we'd be doin' nice tings.
And dese are our nice clothes,
for doin' nice tings.
Look, I like dat slutty stuff,
it's just it's 9am in de mornin'
Where did ya tink we were goin'?
Dis is not a good start to the day.
I can't help but help feel a little
bit proud that Principal Walsh has
me mam on speed dial.
What do ya mean he's not in school?
You mean he's not there?
Eh
Yes, he is He's not well.
He's reached the maximum amount of
sick days allowed in any one year.
Yeah, we're all very worried,
hopefully he'll pull through.
The school rules clearly state
he'll Tanks. Bye.
..that he'll have to resit the
Junior Cert
Hello? Hello, Ms MacSweeney?
They are only the days I got caught.
The real number's 42.
Pick up, ya little bollocks!
Sorry? Not you. Hang on.
It's Mam. Tink she knows I'm gonna
doss before I do.
It's Conor. You know what to do.
Do it fuckin' now.
Call me back, ya little prick.
Come on, will ye? Hurry up!
Come on! This is the start of a
beautiful adventure.
I bet he's gone with Jock to
get dat retarded tattoo
plastered across his back.
Do ya know how much dat'll cost
to get removed?
Um It was 200 to remove my ex's
name from my backside
and it was only dat size.
Do you have a picture of Conor?
What for?
He's a minor, he has to be
over 18 by law to get a tattoo.
I'll let all the parlours know
they'll have me to answer to
if they even put one fucking
dot of ink on his back.
You'd do dat?
I'm a member of the Garda Siochana.
It's my duty.
Thanks.
Some dickheads are after stealin'
our bikes.
Well, that's what happens when you
leave them unattended in yer garage.
See these lads? No.
Me chain's after comin' off.
Were ya back peddlin' again?
Wat if I was? It just means we'll
have to keep stoppin'
to put de chain back on
which is a bit of a waste of time
when we could be doin'
more fun stuff.
Wat's wrong with ya?
I got this bike tinkin' it would be
good cos it had suspension,
but it still hurts me arse, like.
I checked it last night. It's like a
bruise in the shape of the saddle.
How de ye check it?
How everyone checks it.
Go to the doctor? No. I'm not havin'
a doctor look at my arsehole.
I put the mirror on the floor and
just looked down, like.
So you saw yer arse crack and yer
arsehole and everything there?
Don't tell me you never look!
Dat's disgustin'!
I'm just sayin', even a child knows
not to backpedal on a gear bike.
Did I ask to
cycle a fuckin' bike?
If I had known we were cyclin'
bikes I wouldn't have worn heels.
And if I don't backpedal my fuckin'
heels fall off, all right?!
No need to fuckin' shout.
Do ya want a kick?
Fuck!
Conor!
Your mam's looking for you!
If he sees these bikes we're fucked.
Cycle, quick!
Wat's wrong with de bikes?
We borrowed dem. From who?
Not sure, dat's de problem.
We're cyclin' stolen bikes?!
I know, excitin', isn't it? Come on!
Come on, pedal, pedal, pedal!
I can't get me
feet in the fuckin' hoops.
Ya don't need to, just fuckin'
pedal, will ya!
Fuck's sake!
All women need to see is a bit of
skin to get dem in the mood.
It's a bikini. I know. I'm not
wearing it.
Why not?
Cos dere's perverts around.
Where?
I'm talkin' about the pair of ye,
idiot!
Come on, get changed?
Not a fuckin' chance.
What was the point in comin'
here, then?
Good question.
How do ya tink things are goin'
wit dem?
All right. Dey're still talkin'
to us which is the main thing.
Shit, der lookin', der lookin'.
Makes yer dick look bigger, warm it
up.
BOTH: What are ye doin, bhoy?!
Wat de fuck!
Why did ye do that?
I was warmin' up mine.
Same.
THEY LAUGH
Oh, my God!
De ye want to never talk about that
again? Yeah.
It's just cos the height,
I got confused. Me too.
Jock says I sound like a little
girl when I jump off tings. But
dat's total bullshit.
CONOR SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL
What's he doin'?
Swimmin'.
Dat doesn't look like swimmin',
it looks like he's drownin', slowly.
He's still learnin'.
Is he all right? Should we throw him
a life ring?
This is so embarrassing!
We'll give him another minute.
You all right, kid?
Go 'way, don't talk to me!
Wat?
Stand over dere
until those people are gone.
I brought a picnic.
And just as we're making great
progress with the girls
Who did that?
We did.
Dat's really ungrateful.
Dey were rotten.
We've been doin' nothin'
but nice tings for you all day
'n' all yer doin' is flingin'
it back at us.
You haven't done wan nice
ting for us,
you've just bin draggin' us
along to whatever you wanted to do.
Yer showin' yer true colours.
Wat colours are dem?
Selfish, bitchy colours.
Fuck dis, I've had enough.
His mam's dead two years today.
Come on, let's go to de graveyard.
No, yer supposed to be havin' fun.
Anything'll be more fun dan dis.
I would have had the sandwich, just
don't like cheese.
I can take the cheese out and leave
you with chicken.
I like chicken.
Same.
Thanks. It's all right.
Goin' to visit someone at their
grave is such a strange ting to do.
It's kinda like visitin'
someone at der house when you known
they're not in.
I guess we all just need somewhere
to go when the person we've lost
is on our mind, rather than then
visiting them
in our memories over and over again.
Wat?
Me da.
It's bin a shit enough day without
bumpin' into dat prick.
Come on.
What was she like?
A bit of a joker.
She thought she was hilarious.
But she wasn't.
Like when we went to order
a Chinese takeaway
and she'd put on a Chinese accent
and say
"That's the 'wong' order,
I ordered the 'Young Dumb Fuck'."
Or Indian
"Last time I ate here I spent the
whole night vin-the-loo."
She was lovely, though.
The best.
She's so young. How did she die?
She drowned.
Her car was parked
by the slipway in Passage.
Dey never found de body.
So, she's not here?
She is here.
So she's buried here?
No. But she's here.
I'm confused, how can she be both.
Is she here or not?
Yes, but no.
# Through the storm
we reached the shore
# You give it all
but I want more #
Her favourite song.
# And I'm waiting for you
# With or without you
# With or without you, ah-ha
# I can't live
# With or without you
# And you give yourself away
Oooh-hooo
# And you give yourself away
# And you give
And you give
# And you give yourself away
# With or without you
With or without you
# Ah-ha
# I can't live
# With or without you
# Oh, oh, oh ooohhhhhh
# Oh, oh, oh ooohhhhhh
# Oh, oh, oh ooohhhhhh
# Oohh-oohh
# With or without you
# Youuuu. #
See ya later, Mam.
There's nothin' worse than going to
the trouble of stealin' a load
of bikes only to have some thievin'
bastards robbin' dem from you.
Fuck!
Get back here, ya thievin'
little pricks.
Fuck off!
At least give us
a crosser back into town!
Go away and kiss me mam's hole!
Do you have you got any money for
the bus?
Sayin' sorry is one of dem tings
that must get harder as you get
older.
Like, it's not often you hear a
50-year-old say sorry to a
two-year-old.
But when older people do say sorry,
they usually mean it.
Are dey our bikes?
Hey!
Fuck off, bhoy!
Stay where you are, you're under
arrest!
Stop fuckin' movin'!
Stop fuckin' movin'!
Serves ya right, ya thievin' little
pricks!
Fuckin' stupid cunt!
Yer a snarky little prick.
Fuckin'
Dat could have bin us.
Could have bin, would have bin,
should have bin, but
..it wasn't.
Conor, how many times has stuff
nearly happened to us,
but den didn't happen in the end?
Millions.
Something nearly happen to us nearly
every single day, and den doesn't.
If everythin' dat nearly happened
to us, actually happened
We'd have way too much stuff to do.
Fuck it anyway!
Wat's wrong wit ya?
Dis was supposed to be
a day you'll remember for de
rest of yer lives, and cos ya
spent it with us you'd remember
us for de rest of yer lives, instead
we spent it cryin' at de graveyard.
Not every day turns out the way you
expect, but it wasn't a bad day.
DISTANT CHEERING AND SHOUTING AND
WHISTLES BLOWING
What's dat noise?
Sounds like a football match
or something.
Come on, let's see who can gob off
the bridge de furthest.
THEY HOCK UP SALIVA INTO THEIR
MOUTHS
Ready. Yep.
One
..two
..tree
Is dis actually happenin'?! Fuck!
Holy fuckin' shit!
Sorry for spittin' on you,
whale family.
REPORTER: It's high tide here and
the family of orcas have decided to
make a trip right
into the heart of Cork city.
Crowds of spectators have
gathered around to catch
a glimpse of these giant fish.
I'm here with some of the locals who
witnessed the spectacular events
of today. Can you tell me a bit
about what you saw?
Der BLEEPING flippers came flying
out of de BLEEPING water.
No, der BLEEPING tails!
No, de BLEEPING ting at de end,
whatever dey BLEEPING call it.
I've never seen a BLEEPING
whale before.
It was BLEEPING amazing!
Big BLEEPING, BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP!
BLEEPING hell!
Well, I think that says it all.
Back to you in the studio.
I suppose I'll see you later?
Yeah, I'll see you later.
Remember the deal - no talkin' to me
after today.
Yeah. OK.
You just said Shh!
No talkin'.
As you wish.
Dis was me first time spendin'
a whole day with a woman other
that me mam
Feelin' pretty confident.
So I Sorry.
Don't know why I shouted that.
So I was just going to say
You know cos
Because they're goin' to be hangin'
out together loads now and stuff,
I was just worried that you were
going to be, um
..kind of just really lonely and sad
all the time.
Because you don't have another
friend now, I was thinkin' that I
could maybe
Kind of like swoop in like
a Like an eagle and, and, er
And chat to you so you're not lonely
in school and stuff.
Only if you want to, like?
I'm not bothered if you're not.
But, please
Der's 500 other pupils in de school.
Why would I want to hang out wit
you?
Yeah. Of course, yeah, stupid.
All right, then.
Yeah. I'm just fuckin' with ya.
You Ah, ha-ha! Great!
Talk to you tomorrow? Yeah.
See you tomorrow. See you later.
Ha-ha!
Now we're quits.
I wonder wat dey're doin'
so close to land.
Dey were just talkin'
about it dere
Apparently de mother's not
feeling well, and dey come to shore
when it's time to pass away.
She's gonna die?
ORCHESTRAL VERSION OF
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU PLAYS
Your mam's been
looking for you all day.
Come on, let's get you home.
CONOR: I tink dere's somethin'
inside everyone that connects them
to their mam, in a way dat yer not
connected to anyone else
Did you get yer tattoo?
Fuck's sake.
Even if dey wreck yer head most of
the time.
Go on, son, let me see it.
It's only when ya picture yer mam
gone dat ya realise how much
ya like dem bein' around.
Jock got de same one.
It's beautiful.
ORCHESTRAL VERSION OF
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU CONTINUES