Tip Toe (2026) s01e03 Episode Script

1
This programme contains violent
scenes and images of the deceased
that viewers may find distressing
from the very start,
strong language, offensive and
discriminatory attitudes,
and scenes of a sexual nature
throughout.
SIRENS
WOMAN WAILS
POLICE RADIO CHATTER
ECHOING: You! You murderer!
This isn't murder.
It's an execution.
TAPE REWINDS
SINGING
Fallen in love with someone
Ever fallen in love,
in love with someone
Ever fallen in love
In love with someone you
shouldn't've fallen in love with
Fallen in love with someone you
shouldn't've fallen in love with. ♪
Yeah! Woo!
Yes, Clive.
Come on, Clive!
HE LAUGHS.
RADIO MUSIC: Ever
Fallen In Love by Buzzcocks.
Excuse me, I'm looking for Connor.
I think he's up on the roof.
On the Bishop Street side.
Thanks
Rajesh.
Cheers.
WORKMEN CHATTER.
How'd you get in?
I was just passing.
How's it going?
You're passing ten floors up.
How's that happen?
There's no jobs, Clive,
I've got nothing.
Yeah, I was just wondering, cos,
you know, I find myself free,
so I thought I'd offer.
No, don't need you.
I can do anything.
Where's that lad that used
to work for you, Francis?
Where's he now?
I got rid of him.
I'll tell you where he is.
He's working for Ashbury's.
And do you know what? He's happy.
Proper little smiler, he is.
Not when he was with you.
He was miserable as sin,
cos you bullied him, night and day.
He was useless.
He was good, Clive.
You stamped on him.
So, no, I don't have any jobs,
cos no one likes working with you.
You're a fucking misery,
truth be told.
You'll employ Rajesh.
Yes, I will.
What's wrong with him?
Just work's a bit short,
so if you hear of anything, I
I won't.
Well, if you do
I won't!
But there is something.
You can tell your lot I said thanks.
What do you mean?
I've been going sites like these
since I was 16 years old,
and I saved, Clive.
Saved like a dog
right from the start,
cos I thought,
"I'd like a nice life one day."
Just me and the missus,
nice little life.
And I got one.
Tiny little farmhouse.
It's a wreck, but I done it up.
Ten years it took me,
now it's all done.
My retirement, all set up.
Except I can go there
for 90 days. That's all.
Just 90 sodding days,
cos it's in France, isn't it?
90 days and I've gotta go home,
thanks to your lot.
Now I'm voting leave, for you.
Piss off, Clive.
I can pay you 120 a day.
I can do bar work for that.
Yeah, but I'm paying two wages.
Sick pay for Bugs,
and now his replacement.
I can give you six days,
and that's it.
SOFT CHATTER
THEY LAUGH
Um, do you mind
not eating in the hall?
Eh? It's like a doss house.
Some of us have got to live here.
Are you gonna be turning
the electric off again?
You should've got a letter.
I did, and I read it,
and it was a photocopy,
it wasn't specific to this place,
so I don't trust you for a second.
Diane.
Flat five.
Clive.
See you, Clive.
TV: This roll?
Please, stop! Stop, stop!
Yes!
TV CONTINUED: £100 in the bank.
Right, your second go. Good luck.
Liz Liz.
That's what I like to see.
Hard at work.
Where's your your little mates?
Oh, you know what it's like,
same old story.
New job across town,
and off they go.
If I was in charge,
I wouldn't allow it.
Oh, so you're not the boss, then?
HE LAUGHS.
No, not me, no.
If I was running this,
it'd be finished by now.
Well
that would be a shame.
So, packed his stuff,
chucked him out.
That wasn't the end of it, though,
because he'd left
all these bills unpaid.
I found them!
He'd stuffed them away,
hidden them, like a squirrel.
There was council tax, electricity,
some of them going back months.
I said, "What's all this?"
He said, "I just panic."
I said, "What do you mean, you just
panic?"
He said, "It's me dyslexia."
Oh, God, I bet, yeah.
That's just a bloody excuse,
isn't it?
That's what I said!
You know,
there's no such thing as dyslexia.
Oh, my God,
that's exactly what I said!
I've been saying that
to him for years.
It's just a fraud. You know, it's,
like, this billion-dollar industry.
Oh, my God, you are like
a voice in the wilderness.
This is too good to be true.
Come on, tell me,
is there a Mrs Clive?
Eh?
Because there is, isn't there?
Yeah, yeah.
Marie.
Been married 24 years.
Two boys, Saul and George.
Old-fashioned names.
Yeah.
And how are you, you and Marie?
Yeah, we're OK.
You know,
both a bit knackered, but
I'm in the bad books.
You know,
I have been for a very long time.
Why?
Go easy, it costs me enough.
Oh
I just, just made a mistake,
you know?
So, we went on
holiday to Scarborough,
to this, caravan park.
And there was this woman,
cos they had this restaurant,
well, it was, like, a cafe thing,
and she worked there.
Patricia. Patricia.
Yeah, listen, it had just been a
long time since anyone fancied me,
and Patricia, she was, like,
she was looking, you know?
And I kinda, well,
to be fair, I was puzzled.
Get to the point.
Well, I slept with her.
And just one night,
they had this barbecue, and
Marie found out.
And kaboom, you know, that was it.
Never forgiven.
To this day.
And I mean never, ever forgiven.
I mean never.
And I've paid the price for
that to this sodding day, I have.
How did she find out?
Um, well, I told her.
Well, what did you do that for?
I've learnt my lesson now,
haven't I?
So, you won't tell her next time?
No.
There's a little Italian,
Barlow Moor Road.
Friday night,
they do two courses for 15 quid.
Fancy it?
Right, I'm off.
Tell Stewart I said hello.
MUSIC PICKS UP
Hey.
Clive, yeah?
All right, down here.
LADY SPEAKS ON SPEAKER PHONE
THEY SPEAK IN THEIR LANGUAGE
Oh, you don't mind, do you?
No, go for it.
Yeah. It's my girlfriend.
HE LAUGHS.
She's got a new job.
She's very excited.
THEY SPEAK IN THEIR LANGUAGE
She says thanks.
HE LAUGHS.
THEY SPEAK IN THEIR LANGUAGE
CONVERSATION FADES
We're not allowed to take tips.
Buy her something.
Thank you very much.
He gave me £10, you know. For you.
PHONE: Oh, that's so nice of him.
Thank you!
Yeah, nice guy, ain't he?
LAUGHTER
Well, you didn't stand me up.
That's a good sign.
You look smart.
I was gonna make a
bit more of an effort,
but, Christine phoned
just as I got in and I said,
"Not now, Christine,"
but she wouldn't stop.
Right, cos I wanted to say,
I think I should make it clear
that there's not gonna be any sex,
you know, so
Who said there was?
No one.
There's not.
Let me sit down, for fuck's sake.
I just think I should explain.
Um, because with Patricia, that was
the woman in the caravan park.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know who she is.
Yeah, well, I didn't sleep with
her.
OK. I mean, there was a moment,
you know.
I mean, she was she was looking,
all the time.
I mean, Marie noticed, she said,
"Look, she's looking," and,
and there was this
big barbecue thing,
but I didn't
Nothing happened, we
did not.
And what do you want, eh? A medal?
I just think you should know,
that's all.
Then why did you say you did?
Because it would make her cross.
Who?
Marie.
Your wife?
Yeah.
Hang on.
You didn't just tell me
you slept with Patricia,
you told your wife you slept
with Patricia, when you didn't.
Yeah.
So, you made it all up?
You lied to your wife?
For how long?
Well, you know, six years.
She's been punishing you
for six years for nothing?
Does she know now?
Have you told her?
Does she know the truth?
No.
Jesus Christ, Clive.
I mean, Jesus Christ.
Why did you lie in the first place?
Because
I thought it would
make me look, um
What?
Sexy.
Well, I will say,
it was the most
interesting thing about you.
Don't say anything.
Don't make a fuss.
Don't do that to me.
So, what happened?
Just, nothing much.
Stewart's really boring
since he got that job and,
Brody's got work tomorrow, so
Where are the boys?
Out.
Still?
Friday night.
I was thinking, the boys
We said we'd wait 'til they were old
enough and then split up,
but it's not gonna work, is it?
We can't afford it, Clive.
Either I leave, or you leave,
and I can't afford a flat, can you?
I'm trying to get more work,
aren't I?
I'm not having a go.
Then what?
Well, it could be years till
the boys leave home.
Saul's showing no sign,
and even if George goes
to university,
they go, and then they come back.
That's what happens these days.
So?
So, I'm saying that we stay like
this, living here, it's not so bad.
Well, I don't think it's bad at all.
Well, it is,
if you don't mind my saying so.
But if we accept it,
and all right, yes,
OK, I will stop having
a go at you, then we'd be OK.
We could stop pretending.
At what?
This.
We could stop this.
OK. Yeah.
It's about time.
Is it?
I don't need it, I'm fine.
And I know men like
to have their little bit of fun,
God knows you're proof of that,
but you could finish yourself off.
You do it anyway.
If you're 20 minutes in
the bathroom,
the boys say you're having a wank.
Jesus. Well, aren't you?
Marie.
I just think it would help if
we stop planning
for things that are never
gonna happen.
Cos I dream of it, Clive.
Little flat all on my own
tiny little garden
window in the sunlight
so Mum can come and sit with me.
It's never gonna happen, is it?
So, what, we just stay like this
forever, do we?
Well, one of us will die,
in the end.
You in tonight?
Fuck's it matter to you?
All right, I'm just
How's your project?
What project?
American civil rights.
What grade did you get?
Dunno. Well, you do know, come on.
What grade did you get?
A B.
Oh. Can't you work a bit harder?
What did you get in school then?
No, go on. What grade did you get?
All right. So, tell me about it.
About what?
American civil rights.
You're kidding.
Yeah, come on, educate me.
What for?
Cos I wanna know.
Yeah, but what for?
Cos your mum thinks we should
talk more,
but she doesn't see it -
fucking insolence on your face
when you talk to me.
DOORBELL
Aye, aye. Sorry, I know. I've locked
myself out.
I was just putting something
in the bin and then, click.
Go on, give us your key then.
You said you had a spare key,
you might as well give it to me,
mightn't you?
What's your alarm code?
Er, OK. 1502.
1502. Remember George. 1502.
God, he's got a nice life next door,
hasn't he? Swanning around all
hours.
What've you done now?
His key. Like when his alarm went
off last time when he was
on holiday,
now we won't have to put up with it.
What was it?
1502.1502.
That's his alarm.
DOOR SLAMS
TV: They use titanium in the engine
and the bonnet is carbon fibre,
and the whole thing feels so light,
it's like a stiff breeze could blow
it away,
except it grips like crazy.
The traction control is astonishing.
It can detect wheels pin in
a microsecond.
Less than a microsecond.
It almost detects
a spin before it's even happened.
I've never felt safer.
I've never felt more secure.
What are you doing in his house?
George?
Hey, answer me.
What are you doing in here?
I said there was someone in this
house.
I said so! He's been using the key.
What do you mean?
Did you know he was here?
Did I fuck! But I knew there was
someone in this house.
He's been drinking my wine.
The level on the wine goes down
every day.
Why are you talking about wine?
What's wine got to do with it?
No, you don't.
Don't try to get away with this.
Don't you touch him?
He's in my house!
Don't you fucking dare?
HE'S IN MY HOUSE!
I gave you my key,
which he's gone and stolen.
Did you say he was in here every
day? Yeah.
Drinking wine every single day?
Yeah, and God knows what else,
because your son
Is he drinking wine with you?
What?
Fuck!
George!
George. Get here.
Eh!
Don't lock me out.
Your son has been wanking
in my house.
George!
Oh, God! Don't kill him!
Tell me,
what you doing in that man's house?
What were you doing in his house?
Did he invite you in?
What's that supposed to mean?
Did he invite you?
BANGING ON DOOR
Clive! Open the door!
Your boyfriend wants you.
Don't be so stupid.
Oh, I'm always the stupid one,
aren't I?
Clive, open the door!
BANGING CONTINUES
Clive, open the door!
God, you couldn't leave him
alone, eh?
OK, this is all
a bit out of control.
We can sort it out.
I just want to see George.
I just want to talk him,
like adults, OK?
And I want my key, because you
were in charge of it, Clive,
and I want it back.
I'm sorry, all right?
George, don't you dare!
Get here!
Hey! George, get back here!
Hey!
You'll have to come back in
the end.
He needs a bollocking,
because, you know,
I mean, we all make mistakes,
but he has crossed a line here.
What was he doing in your house?
What was my boy doing in your house,
for days and days?
He's 16 years old.
WOMAN'S VOICE: OK, see you later,
then. Bye.
Your son George Don't!
Your son George stole my key
and waited till I left.
Because if I knew he was there,
why the fuck would I walk up
to my front door with you?
No, no, no, no, no, wait.
So he was breaking and entering,
he stole things,
he masturbated in front
of my television,
and these are all on
the list of things I am telling
the police,
including your assault of me.
Because if you're gonna take on this
fucking poof
don't you
don't you say
Don't you ever!
Jesus! Fuck!
Aghhh!
What?
What?
Boss? Judy, tell Saul to pack his
stuff up and get out.
You will not believe what his father
has just done!
You're a beautiful lad, Saul,
but I'm afraid you've gotta go.
And if you wanna know why,
blame your mad old dad.
No, you need to come home.
They said Dad went crazy.
Like, George was in next
door's house.
He broke in and he was stark naked.
Bushra, I've got to go.
So, where's George now?
I don't know, do I? I'm still here.
He actually attacked you?
Yeah.
That is assault,
and you have to go to the police.
I don't even have my car. I left it
in town. I'm stuck here.
Can you come and drive me in?
I'm coming.
Somebody tell me! What the hell?
He's gonna call the police, because
you assaulted him, Clive!
Him and snotty bitch Stephanie,
they're gonna call the police.
MUFFLED ARGUMEN
Cheers. Cheers.
You should have a vodka in that.
I've gotta take the car home.
And I'm trying to stay alert.
I have a thief living next door,
and a thug.
Really, you should call the police
though. Really, really.
I know, I know. You should. But,
like, I'm thinking of me. I mean,
what if it got into the court?
I mean,
gay man with a 16-year-old boy in my
house? What would that look like?
He broke in. Yeah, but look at the
reaction of his dad, huh?
Anything to do with George, you
know.
Then I'm a groomer and a paedo
and a pervert. Oh, don't.
That gets online, there's five
million straight men
waiting to attack me.
Plenty of straight women.
What makes you say that?
The world.
And you know who would love
this story?
The Licensing Unit.
Oh, the council would leap on it,
then this place would be in trouble.
If I go to the police,
it will only get worse.
To be fair to little George,
he did just want a safe place
to wank.
Because men will do it anywhere.
I've been studying this for years,
it's my specialist subject.
And I have gotta tell you,
girls, men will do it everywhere,
all day long.
You name it,
they have spunked on it.
Cinema seats, theatres, graveyards,
cars. Every single car,
they've whacked off into every
single seat.
I used to carry a handkerchief to
wipe down seats on the bus,
I'm now considering
a beekeeper's outfit. Aeroplanes.
In the seats, the dirty dogs!
Seats, toilets, cockpits.
That's what turbulence is!
I am telling you, they have been
fiddling away all through history.
You ask Sir Edmund Hilary
if he tugged off on
the top of Everest,
and he would say, yes
BOTH: because it was there.!
Christopher Columbus, he discovered
America so he could find a new place
to whack it out.
Neil Armstrong, one small step,
one massive wank.
And then he varnished the Moon.
I'm telling you, two basic rules.
One, never sit down,
and two, don't go barefoot,
cos we are standing on
a carpet of glue,
and if we could see life through
UV glasses,
the whole world would look like
a melted candle.
Ooh. Fair do's to George!
He was maintaining a fine tradition.
To George.
ALL: To George!
He was round at Sammy's.
Hiding like a chicken.
You're supposed to be
the clever one.
But if Leo presses charges
and you get a criminal record,
you won't get into university.
That's not true, actually.
Sherry from down the road,
she got caught shoplifting,
and now she's doing economics.
Which is funny, if you think about
it.
Thank you. Now, button it.
You will go and apologise.
You'll apologise in person,
and I want you to write him a
letter. Fuck off!
Don't you dare!
You'll write a formal apology.
Plus you can add up how much you owe
him with all
the wine and stuff,
then double it and pay him back,
and then and then
Then you can tell us
why you did it.
I mean, I'm not stupid, I get it,
OK?
When I was a kid,
I had a key to my nan's,
and I would bunk off
and sit in her flat when she was out
on Thursday afternoons,
and I did that for five years,
and no-one knew a thing.
But that was family.
He's the man next door.
Did he ask you in? Shut up.
He gave us his key,
didn't he? It's an open door.
And and you're too young to know
when you're being, like, seduced.
Don't be so stupid!
It's a good point.
Cos Leo is a bit out there.
He's a bit obvious.
And if he does call the police,
it would be a good line
to take in court.
He's a homosexual man choosing
to live ten feet away from
two healthy lads.
Two healthy
sexy lads, let's say it.
He looks at me sometimes. Does he?
I catch him, now and then,
eyeing me up. He can't help himself.
Well, that could be useful.
God, you are just idiots!
Do you know why I went there?
To get away from you lot!
To get away from this house!
To get away from you!
Well, you're grounded.
And don't think you can go round
to Hassan's,
because I'm phoning his mother.
I warn you, George.
She'll send you right back.
Have you got that?
I tell you what, darling,
you'd better get your locks changed.
Might be wise, just in case.
Such a hassle. Oh,
God, I've got the key safe, too.
I'll have to change everything.
ALARM BEEPS
BEEPING STOPS
POP MUSIC STARTS
MUSIC STOPS
Do you think he went through your
things, little Georgy Porgy?
What, like my pants?
Mm. I would.
Oh, God! Do you think he did?
Why? What would he find?
Boss, I was thinking,
did you check your computer?
No, it's good, it's locked,
it's got a password.
Although if I leave
the email open, it stays unlocked.
NOTIFICATION TONE
I'll tell you one
thing bothering me.
That night you were texting George.
So? I was being kind.
Yeah, I know,
but if his mum and dad demand
to know everything
and George shows it to them.
But I said nice things.
Oh, God, I left a voice note.
George, I swear, if you tell
your girlfriends about this,
they will tell you that every single
stupid boy does this
and you'll laugh about it.
Because there's such
a big world out there,
and you can have boyfriends
or girlfriends,
or whatever you like.
You can have all the wild
and crazy hot sex you want,
night after night.
Because I promise you Geroge,
there's a great big gay life,
just waiting for you.
So, if I delete it,
will it delete on George's thread?
Yes. Now, get rid of it.
Oh, shit.
Boss, I sent you that password
generator. It's free
and it's brilliant. Thanks, Mikey.
Oh, well, you weren't so helpful
this afternoon, were you?
I was pointing out the obvious.
What? He posted Saul's wanking video
on the group chat.
Oh, yeah. What? Saul the other son?
SAUL PANTS AND GASPS
He gets it all out online.
Saul bares all.
It's ten out of ten,
and I mean ten.
It's not private,
it's a business,
and he chooses to promote himself.
It's not even up for debate.
He's your neighbour's son.
He's 25.
He's only 25.
He sells it, he wants us to see.
Is that on your phone?
It's on everyone's.
Well, then you should delete it.
If I end up taking Clive Goss
to court,
the behaviour of his son could be
very good evidence.
Leo, just don't have it anywhere.
Come on, it's not like I fancy him
or anything. Well, not much.
Oh, God!
I'll delete it. I'll delete it.
This is what they do.
MESSAGE PINGS.
They make a link between gay men
and children
MESSAGE PINGS
and that link is ineradicable.
It cannot be removed.
MESSAGE PINGS.
And they know that, the bastards.
MESSAGE PINGS.
So, they repeat it, they shout it
MESSAGE PINGS
over and over,
and louder and louder.
Well, that's nice. Thanks, boss.
What did we do to deserve that?
What do you mean?
Your message, on the group chat.
Guilty as charged.
That's on my CV, Mr Struthers.
What? What's just happened?
He's just called us all perverts.
I didn't say that. Look.
WHOOPS AND CHEERS
Why would I do that?
Look, look, there's the time.
That's now.
12 minutes past, right now.
And you saw me,
I was sitting here.
I didn't send it.
You must've been on dictation.
You must've pressed it by mistake.
You did say perverts out loud.
But it's not that bad, Melba.
I've got this couple in Levenshulme,
Blake and Robbie,
they've just adopted three children.
They'd never have been able
to do that back in the day,
so things are better.
Ohhh!
PHONE BUZZES
All right, you lot,
got a surprise for you today.
I love my job, man!
Say hi, Molly.
Hi!
How hot, is she? Oh, my God!
Here we go.
This is for you, girls.
And some of you fellas.
Uhhh!
OK, it's been a long day.
Good luck, troops.
Keep flying the flag.
Seriously, though, be careful.
What now?
Your phone! Texting a teenager!
Oi, I didn't do anything wrong.
There's nothing like that on
my phone, Leo.
Sometimes I think you lot are
so full of all your freedoms,
you don't know when to stop.
Aghhh!
MUSIC: Ever Fallen in Love (With
Someone You Shouldn't've) by Buzzcocks.
You spurn my natural emotions
You make me feel I'm dirt,
and I'm hurt
And if I start a commotion
I run the risk of losing you
And that's worse ♪
Is this you? Is this your lot?
MUSIC CONTINUES FAINTLY
Ever fallen in love with someone?
Ever fallen in love?
In love with someone
Ever fallen in love ♪