Waiting For The Out (2026) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
Daniel.
Do you want to see something?
That's our holiday money.
All these pricks round here, noses
in the air, looking down at us
Fucking jealous now, in't they?
Do you want to hold it?
Don't want to get your prints
on that.
Could make you an accessory.
Don't say those things to him.
About fucking time.
So, how do I look?
What is she, son?
She's a tart, Dad.
That's right.
She's a tart.
Is Lee coming?
No, Lee's away doing a bit of work.
Oh!
What about this? No.
You would say no.
Let me do it!
What about this? This is nice.
That's it!
My Way
by Paul Anka
This is it! No, no, no, not this.
Yes!
This is music. This is MY song.
Can we have something a bit?
SINGS ALONG: # Of which I'm certain
# I've lived
It's not a Frank one. It's a cover.
# And travelled each
and every highway #
Still good, though.
Eh! You listening, boy?
# I did it my way
# Regrets
# I've had a few
# Then again
# Too few to mention
# I did what I had to do
# Saw it through
# Without exemption
# I planned each charted course
# Each careful step
# Along the byway
# And more
# Much more than this
BOTH: # I did it my way
# Yes, there were times
# I'm sure you knew
# When I bit off more than
I could chew
# And through it all
# When there was doubt
# I ate it up!
# And spit it out!
# I faced it all!
# And I stood tall!
# And did it my #
CARNIVAL MUSIC JINGLES
Five nights? Yeah.
Lovely. I've got a lovely
room for you with a view.
Oh, perfect.
Do you hear that, it's
got a sea view. Nice.
Number three, so that's
Third floor. Right.
Breakfast from 7am.
Here, mate!
Mate!
Do one of us, will you?
One of your Polaroids.
Do one of us, eh?
Just one, is all.
Nice one.
Thank you.
Come on.
Wow.
Just popping out.
You're coming back though, right?
Yeah, course I am.
Because we've dinner at 8:00.
I said I'm coming back, didn't I?
TV: A doll!
MUSIC PLAYS FROM TV
What's the price, Miss?
Come on. Let's fucking eat!
Daniel.
What is she?
She's a tart, Dad. Yeah!
She is a fucking tart.
Look at this place.
What a fucking shithole.
No, it's nice.
Nice, is it? That's what you think?
Look, Daniel, tart's got an opinion.
Can you talk, little tart?
Don't start, OK?
I'm not starting,
I'm just having a laugh!
A laugh, is all.
Come on. I'm just having a laugh,
is all, a little bit of a laugh.
I want a nice evening out.
This is a nice evening out.
We're having a nice evening.
This'll be nice.
Don't you think this is nice?
I've shat in better places
than this.
So, anyway, what about you?
How's How's life as a
single woman about town?
Oh, stop!
You You seem really well, Mum.
Yeah. Yeah, I am well.
Do you miss him?
Yeah, of course I do.
Look, I was with Martin for a lot
longer than I was with your dad.
I mean, he was a boring
old bastard, but
He was kind.
It's cancer, Danny.
Sometimes, I think you
grieve before they die.
Well, I I love the way
that you came out of it.
Really? Yeah.
It's your life. You get to
live it for you, for once.
Yeah.
Well, in that case,
I'm going to get wankered.
Oh, you know that your
Uncle Frank is out?
Yeah, yeah, I heard. Yeah.
I think Lee's going to pop round
to see him tomorrow, so
Well, you could join?
Yeah. I don't know, Mum.
Look, you know how down he gets.
He needs family around him.
Look, Frank's great. I will go.
It's just
I don't know, him AND Lee together.
Two ex-cons.
It's going to get a bit
male and manly for me. Oh, Danny.
Frank loves you. I know, I know.
He IS my only brother.
I will. I'll go. I'll go and see
him, I promise, next week.
Oh, excuse me, sorry.
Could I have a glass of white,
please?
Thanks.
Can I Can I ask you something?
Yeah.
How come you stayed
with Dad for so long?
Why you asking that?
I just
You know, I don't know, it's just
You could've
You could have left him sooner.
Why didn't you?
Look, when I met him,
I was well turned out,
good looking, funny, smart.
I was a catch.
But by the time I went
looks was all I had.
Knowing the right shade
of lippy to put on.
How can a person like that leave?
No, but you did.
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
So So why not sooner?
You know?
Yeah, change the subject, eh, Danny?
I don't know. I just keep thinking
about it because, I just
What if things might have
been better if? Danny.
No, wait, I don't mean
Yeah, no
I just I mean for you.
Danny
I just mean Please.
Sorry, I don't I
Talking of Lee, I was
there at the weekend.
Took some pics of Dean.
Do you want to see?
Yeah, of course I do.
Go on. He's really growing, look.
Oh, my God.
He is really growing, isn't he?
Yeah.
What has she got in her tits?
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Oh, that's justthat's
just to check the, erm
Uhthe
Let's
Shall we get you that glass of wine?
Excuse me.
MUTTERING: Fucking God
Jesus fucking Christ.
Oh, you fucking prick.
It's in your locker, Dan.
Oh, my God.
I'm going fucking nuts.
You still up for tonight?
Yes, yes. Yeah, I really am.
Ermtotally.
But don't be late, OK?
No, I won't be late.
Max is doing his jambalaya.
It has to be exactly right,
and he will not serve it until
everyone's there. Jamie.
I won't be late. Don't worry.
Right.
OK, stupid question.
I don't have anything in here, do I?
Like what?
Half a kilo of heroin?
Go through the fucking door, Dan.
Yeah.
Plato tells the story
of a man called Gyges,
who finds a ring of invisibility.
Once Gyges puts the ring on,
he can do anything he likes.
Kill, steal.
Do anything at all without
anyone finding out.
And where does big man
find this ring?
Plato's question is,
is there any reason
for Gyges to be good?
Females?
Females.
Just females? Nothing else?
Well, I'm assuming this Gyges
hasn't been saved by the light
of the Lord Jesus Christ, so, yeah,
just females. Here we go.
You know what, yeah,
I'll go with that.
When I was begging, if I see, like,
three lads on a night out, yeah,
I know I'm getting nothing.
But if I see a man with a girl, and
they got, like, shopping bags, yeah?
Like, honeymoon vibes.
I go straight up to him,
ask him for money,
nine out of ten times,
he gives it, yeah?
Like, I give him the chance to look
kind and, like, he's got cash.
Like, I provide a service!
Serious!
Like, without me, he spends
the night on Pornhub.
OK.
So, Gyges should only be
good if women can see him?
Look, Dan. Look around us, bro.
We've got female teachers,
officers, nurses.
What, you take them all away,
you think men are going to be,
what, better? It's nonsense.
"Nonce"? Is that a confession?
HE CHUCKLES, NO-ONE JOINS IN
Did you want to say
something, Wallace?
Women are the salvation of men.
Yeah, that's what
we're saying, Wallace.
But you got to earn it,
you got to be decent first,
not just when they're looking.
So, some philosophers say that, erm,
masculinity is an identity
achieved through dominance.
In order for me to be a man,
someone else has to lose.
And more often than not, that
someone is a woman or child.
No, Dan.
There are good men,
and there's bad man, yeah?
Well, the writer, Bell Hooks,
she argues that the idea
of the good man is sexist.
She says we should want to be
a good PERSON, not a good man.
In here, I don't think
about being a good person.
But I do feel bad about
not being a good man.
When I'm on the phone to my ex, and
I hear my little girl crying cos
..you know, some teacher
don't like her.
I can't do nothing. I can't sort it.
I feel like shit.
Yeah, I don't like the
whole dominance thing.
It's belittling, if you
don't mind me saying, Dan.
Erm
Being a man, its way
more than dominance.
Mm. A lot more.
DOOR OPENS
Oh, shit, it's VPs!
I see you! I'm going to cut your
dick off, you little bastards!
As for the cowardly, the faithless!
The detestable, the sexually immoral
and liars! I see you! You pussies!
There is the portion that burns with
fire and sulphur! Fucking bastards!
Sex offender fucks!
You deviant fucks!
All right, Keith?
You all right?
You weren't in class. No.
They wouldn't let
us off the landing.
I'd love to say it was an incident,
but, like as not, someone just
squashed a cockroach
without the correct paperwork.
This place is a shite shambles, Dan.
Well, I've I've
brought you some reading.
I know you like a head start.
I do, I do.
Thank you.
It's a dialogue between
Slavoj Zizek and Will Self.
Ah, Zizek!
The Billy Connolly of philosophy.
It's like if performance art
fucked verbosity.
Thanks for that, Dan.
That's all right.
I'll I'll see you next class.
All right. Oh, by the way.
I could do something
for you in return.
"In return"? What do you mean?
Well, your dad did time, right?
What makes you say that?
Well, in a place like this,
word gets around.
Doesn't matter how.
What matters is, I know a
guy who was inside with him.
He was your dad's pad-mate.
Right, that's what he said, is it?
He said he was my dad's pad-mate?
Aye, for eight months. Mm.
Now, that's a hell of a long
time in a place like this.
And what's more is
..that man's in here.
You know, I could put you in touch.
You couldhave a chat with him.
Would you like that?
I'll think about what you said.
Right. Yeah.
All right, Lee?
Hey. Erm, yeah.
Look, listen, you're going to
Uncle Frank's today, right?
I thought I might
you know, tag along?
Yeah. Erm, when are you going?
Yeah.
Yeah, sure. Yeah, I've
Yeah, I've got something
I have to do first.
The thing was, though, Dan,
they made you fucking march.
What, like a soldier?
Like a fucking tin soldier!
They wanted to march you down
to get your fucking chow!
This is years ago, Dan.
I'm a kid, so I'm not having this.
I give it the Travolta roll.
I'm all like
Wahey! There she goes,
Saturday Night Fever.
This big screw takes one look.
Bang! Punches me right
in the guts for that.
No.
Yeah, I go down like
a sack of spuds.
Puked up all over his shoes, I did!
Oh! I bet they were shiny, and all!
But the next day,
I'll do it all again.
I give it the roll, bang, punched
in the guts, on the floor.
Next day, roll, bang, floor.
Ten days straight, I swear to God.
So, they change tack.
I go down, they gave me my dinner.
The whole plate is covered in salt.
Oh!
No, that's wrong, that is.
Yeah, you had to scrape
it off even to eat, eh?
But I still give it the roll, right?
And every day they give me my
plate of food, white with salt.
Ten days of that, chuck me in seg.
Oh! No, that is bad.
Dan, seg, that's awful.
I mean, I've never done seg,
but they bury you down there, mate.
You sleep on a concrete ledge, Dan.
Each day, the screws would
wake me up, take me outside,
give me a shovel, and make me
dig an hole eight foot deep.
And at the end of the day,
I'd have to fill it back in.
God, you must have been exhausted.
Dan, every day, when they open
that door, I'd spring to my feet,
big smile and go
"You got my shovel? I love digging."
THEY LAUGH
I loved it. I loved it. I did.
Right, but you hated it, really?
I loved it. I pretended
I loved it. Yeah.
So, you didn't love it?
No, Dan, he loved it. He pretended.
I used to pretend I loved it,
so, you know
I LOVED it!
What about on your own? When you
put your head on the pillow?
I'd been digging
fucking holes all day.
I slept like a log.
What you got to
remember about prison is
..it fucking loves
to grip you in place.
Now, if you don't want that,
you've got to push back.
So, one day, they send
me back to my cell.
No-one says a word.
I'm thinking, "Oh, aye, what now?"
They call feeding time.
I roll on down, just like always.
All eyes on me.
Give me my food.
Clean.
Not a grain of salt on it.
Earn their respect, Frank.
They'd given up on me.
So, I took that plate, look up
at the screw who's with me,
and I say
"Where's my fucking salt?"
Got any crisps or something, Nan?
No.
What do you mean, "No"?
You got to have some.
No. Get off.
All right, all right, all right.
Is it the puff? Hmm.
Oh, you don't like to be around it.
He's a good lad - Lee.
He's done really well.
He's looking a bit tired,
though, ain't he?
Yeah. I noticed that.
You digging holes again, Frank?
Making a pond for Mum.
Loads of wildlife in a pond.
Toads, ducks, dragonflies.
Could even get newts.
I don't want fucking newts.
Thanks, Nan.
I love wildlife.
When we was little, used to bunk
the train to Sandwich, in Kent.
Sit on the shore,
watch the sun go down.
I've not been back
since I was a boy.
Well, we could go if you like,
Frank? Get you some air.
Well, great, but
What about tomorrow?
Got to wait for a clear day, though.
You want to clear day.
It's going to be
really clear tomorrow.
Well, yeah. We'll,
Yeah, we'll
We'll do that, yeah,
but we'll wait for a clear day.
Yeah.
Erm
Frank, do you know where Dad is?
Why you asking that?
I just
I just I just want
to know where he is.
You're not going to get in touch
with him, are you? No, no, no, no.
No.
Just want to know.
There's lots of reasons
why people do crime.
With me, it's cos I was good at it.
With Lee, it's cos he had to,
he had no choice.
But with your dad, it was cos
he liked to subjugate people.
He loved to grind people down.
He enjoyed it.
He was a fucking weasel.
And you shouldn't need
reminding of that.
This for starter, this for main.
Where's that prick with our drinks?
Well, we can see they're busy.
Oh, so sorry, guys.
There's been a problem in the
kitchen.
It's all gone a bitcrazy.
Where's my drink?
Erm, they're just on drinks now,
but I thought, if I get your food
order in, there should be no delay.
Oh, that is very considerate.
Off the kids menu, we'll have
the sausage bites to start,
and then the pasta, but
with no cheese. Of course.
And for me as a starter,
could I get
Actually, is the baked brie good?
Honestly, it's the
best thing on the menu.
Not just saying that?
All right, well, normally, yes,
but it is really good.
Well, how could I resist that?
Yeah, how could you resist that?
Great. And for you, sir?
Calamari.
Calamari. Fantastic.
And now for the mains.
I've actually got a special tonight,
it's a grilled monkfish.
It comes with a baked potato,
salad, and a pesto sauce.
Oh, that does sound lovely.
You know, I think I'll take that.
Great.
Thought you were having cod.
Yeah, I was, but
Well, don't let him upsell you.
Have your fucking cod.
I want steak, cremated.
And if I see one drop of blood,
won't just be the
fucking cow bleeding.
Uh
Do you move as fast as you smile?
Uh, sorry, I
Don't start, he's just doing
his job. What you sorry for?
Uh, nothing. I'm not. I just
So, you're not sorry?
Not sorry at all, then?
Should I just get the drinks?
Well, I'm not going to go up there
and get them my fucking self, am I?
Fucking fairy wanker.
Mum?
Where's Dad?
He's having a drink.
What, by himself?
Go brush your teeth, Danny.
I wish Lee was here.
That what you want, is it?
What you doing?
That what you fucking well want?
Is it?
That what you want?
Is that what you fucking well want?
What do you want?
What do you want?!
Wear it. Here!
Calm down!
Is that what you want, is it?
Calm down, sir! That what you
fucking well want? Stop!
Is that what you want? Stop it.
There you go! Have that!
Is that what you want, is it?
Stop! Get off me!
That what you fucking well want?
Is that what you want?! Hey!
What are you?
Let's go!
Now, calm down!
Stop! No! No!
No! No! No!
That what you want, is it?!
That what you fucking well want?!
That what you want, is it?!
Honestly, I just cannot find
anything wrong with it.
I just keep thinking
that I can smell gas.
Well, can you smell it now?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I think I can.
No, you can't.
Cos I've had the gas
lines off for 90 minutes
and the windows open for 70.
So, if there's any gas in this room,
it is defying the basic laws
of atmospheric circulation.
OK, soso why can I smell it?
Uh, well, that is between you
and a caring and
qualified psychotherapist.
Look, it's, erm
It's a mechanical process.
Gas flow is initiated by
physically turning the knob.
It's fine.
But if you want to get a second
opinion, you're more than welcome.
Is that a thing in gas engineering?
No.
OK, so, I, uh
I should just relax?
Yeah. Yeah, I'd give that a try.
You want me to check it again,
don't you?
Yeah Yeah.
Is that totally insane?
Well, it is going to be
exactly the same result.
AndI will have to charge you for
another hour,
and you did say you
had somewhere to be,
and you're already late, so Yeah,
yeah.
Erm, yeah No, OK.
Sorry, yeah.
Check it again, please.
ENGINEER SCOFFS
BAG UNZIPS
Hey, Jamie.
Hey. Yeah, I'm
Yeah, sorry, sorry.
I'm on a bus, but there
There was
There was thisthis, erm
fight on the bus.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. These two guys.
Look, so, I'm
I'm on another one right now,
so I'm going to be there in
Erm
Well, listen, I mean,
as soon as I can.
Fuck this,
fuck this, fuck this
MUFFLED CHATTER
Hey. Max.
I'm so sorry. There was
There was a fight on the bus, and
then there was roadworks, and it
I'm going to go and try
and rescue the jambalaya,
which was ready
one hour and 25 minutes ago.
WHISPERING: Is he really pissed off?
Yeah.
But he is driving me nuts.
So, this guy, he's a prisoner?
What's his name, Helen?
Damir. Do you know him?
I don't think so.
Well, I've been doing these
lessons, parenting through play?
So, I bring in a bunch
of toys for the men,
and I teach them how to play
with their own children.
Oh, my God, that is amazing.
Because a lot of them
don't know how.
They're often inside when their kids
are born, and their own families
It's not exactly like they come
from homes where Dad engages fully.
I could not do it. Working in a
prison, I just could not do it.
But this one guy drives me nuts.
Damir, is he a lifer?
Yeah, that's right. Do you know him?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, I quite like him.
You work in a prison as well?
Yeah, I thought you
taught philosophy?
I do.
Ermin prison, to prisoners.
Wow.
Fucking wow!
That's just blown my mind.
That's incredible!
Well, anyway, this guy, Damir,
he insists on calling me "Miss"
despite me specifically
telling him, call me Helen.
No, that is annoying.
Thank you.
And he's always finding me a chair.
He will stop everything,
and it's all like,
"Let's find Miss the best chair."
THEY LAUGH
Yeah, what an arse. No!
Dan. It's belittling.
Yeah. No, no, I get that.
That is kind of sexist, actually.
And if anyone says anything,
he's straight in with,
"Have some respect. How would you
feel if she was your sister?"
Like I need him to save me.
Well, I think I think
it's the other way round.
I think that you're saving him.
You know, he has to protect you
from the other men
to prove that he's not like them.
They're the men that have to
dominate other people, not him.
Yeah, but what he's
doing is the opposite
and that kind of male protection
is proprietary, right?
I mean, erm, he's actually
reinforcing dominant behaviour.
Write that down for me, Paul.
I'll pass that on to Damir before
his next anal cavity search.
Max, this is gorgeous.
Yeah. Normally, it is.
Dan, can I ask you a question?
I think so.
Well, it's a bit personal.
You said your father is a prisoner.
Was.
Yeah, erm, like I said,
I don't know where he is now.
So, do you think you're trying to
sort of save these men you teach?
Do you mind me asking you this?
No. Why would I be
trying to save them?
Well
What, you happened to just find
yourself working in the place
that stole your father from you?
No, no, no. My father wasn't stolen.
I mean, he stole,
but he wasn't stolen.
Yeah.
No, seriously, though.
I mean, otherwise, why are
you working in a prison?
Why's Jamie in a prison?
Why's Helen in a prison?
THEY LAUGH
Whyin a!
Well, come on.
"Come on," what?
What do you mean, "Come on"?
Well, it's just different,
isn't it? Is it?
Well, you know it is.
What, this has never occurred
to you before? What, ever?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm just fucking dumb, Paul.
And Dan doesn't drink, by the way.
To reiterate, this is Dan sober.
I mean, I don't think Paul
was trying to make you
What do your parents do, Paul?
Oh they're both, uh, GPs.
You said you were a doctor,
didn't you?
All right, OK.
I can see where this is
And yet you don't feel
the need to pathologize
that kind of inheritance?
Oh, I wasn't pathologizing
Oh, no, no, that's right, of course.
Nice middle-class, bourgeois,
white bread, nepo baby
pass-downs are perfectly acceptable.
All right, Dan. Come on.
No, I'm
I'm not trying to save anyone.
The time to save them's long gone.
We all missed the boat on that one.
We were too busy recreationally
pontificating over
Chateauneuf-du-Pape and shoving
culturally appropriated rice stodge
down our throats.
Now, I don't I'm really sorry
But I don't save,
I don't rehabilitate.
I mean, I don't even educate,
really. I mean
Actually the most that I do is
a two-hour holiday in the head.
A brief respite from
a life of concrete,
steeped in spice.
A life that can best be
characterised by the act of
trying not to make eye
contact with another man
while he shits in front of you.
That's me, Paul.
QUIETLY: So, feel free
topsychoanalyse that.
Fucking hell.
Sorry, I was I was just, erm
Yeah? What were you "just", then?
What the fricking fuck?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.
"White bread, nepo baby,
pass-downs"?
Yeah, that was too much, wasn't it?
No, no. The whole thing
was too much.
Everything that came out of your
mouth was way too much.
I mean, I don't know you, but
I hope this is a nervous breakdown,
because if this is what
you're normally like
Is it OK in there?
No. No, it is not.
The atmosphere is
most definitely ruined.
Paul's a dick, though, right?
No. I mean, he was just drunk.
And Max is lovely, but he's
never going to forgive you
for that shitty jambalaya.
I mean, you were an hour and a
half late. What were you doing?
I was checking my stove.
Excuse me?
My cooker.
Takes me an hour to
leave the house these days
cos I keep thinking it's on.
That's what I was doing just now,
checking photos of it.
Photos? Of your cooker?
Yeah. Do you want to see?
Got thousands.
But they don't work any more.
I justI just keep thinking that
that flame's going to come on
anyway. Fucking debilitating.
Oh, and I've started seeing my dad.
Or, like, thinking
that I'm seeing him.
And Paul's right.
Me doing this job may
very well be about a man
that I never want to see again,
and fucking hated anyway, so
Actually, yeah, this
could be a breakdown.
Why don't you use a video camera?
Instead of photos. Set up a
nanny cam in front of the cooker.
Download the app on your phone,
you can watch it in real time.
That way, you'll know your
house isn't burning down.
I mean, that's what I'd do
if I was fucking nuts.
But why are we going home?
We only got here yesterday.
The holiday money's gone.
Your dad had to pay a fine
for nicking that jewellery.
It wasn't jewellery. It was
display models. It was all fakes.
You see, that's why you need to
keep out of trouble, Danny.
It was just plastic. That's
why they couldn't put me away.
Yeah, you didn't know that
at the time, though, did you?
You ruin everything you touch!
Why have you parked so far? Sh!
I don't want people to see.
Keep your fucking head down, you.
Don't touch the light!
I don't want them
knowing our business.
You're staying at Gary's?
I'm doing a bit of work.
Oh, great.
Don't you ever learn?
Mum, I'm hungry.
What, we're supposed to stay
in the dark for a week?
I'm not having them, out
there, knowing our business.
I won't have them
looking down on us.
Of course they look down on us!
I mean, I'd look down on us.
Look at the state of us!
Mum, I'm really hungry.
Not now, Danny. But I'm starving,
I've not eaten since lunch.
I'll get you something soon.
When? I'm hungry.
Look, you can go to
the shops at night.
I'll be back in a couple of days,
I said that.
But I'm not having these
fucking arseholes sneering at me!
Is that understood?
Cos it's all about you, isn't it?
It is all about you and what you
I said I'm hungry, you tart!
What did you just say?!
Come here, you, now!
Closer.
What did you just say?
If you ever talk to
her like that again,
I will fucking kill you, boy.
Do you understand that?
I will end your life.
Do you believe that?
I will fucking kill you.
Malcolm X was a man
of transformations.
At 21, he went to
prison for robbery.
Inside, educated himself,
and when he came out he
became ardently political.
Yeah, yeah, I watched
a film about him.
That Denzel played him, innit?
Bruv, I read his whole book, bruv!
He became a criminal
to get away from poverty.
That right, Dan? Mm-hm.
But he's a complicated figure.
So, while, in later life, he
acknowledged the role
that women played in the struggle,
in his early speeches X talks
about how men are strong
and women are weak.
He tells men to
dominate their women.
Yeah, but he grew up with no dad.
Why does that make a difference?
Loads of men in here only have mums,
yet they end up misogynistic.
Blame the one that's still there.
A rapist moves onto their landing,
they all join the queue
to fuck that guy up.
But a female guard passes,
see all them same mans
standing around like
Hands on their balls, Dan.
Every time, hands down
the front, touching balls.
Female right there.
So, a father's a good influence?
No. Dads make it worse.
One time, my
dad slapped me up, yeah?
And then this advert
for Childline comes on.
I'm all crying,
I'm snotty, I'm like,
"I'm going to call that number!"
And he's like, "All right, go ahead.
"Yeah, I'll slap you up
before they come round,
"I'll slap you up
whilst they're here,
"and I'll slap you up
after they're gone."
Eh, my old man used to call them
adverts "tooth decay", yeah?
He says they're an easy way
to lose your fucking teeth.
My dad broke my arm once.
It was, like, a compound spiral
fracture of the radius,
plus a dislocated shoulder.
And I had to pretend I caught
it in the rubbish chutes.
And he comes to hospital the
next day with a bag of crisps
and he says,
"I done it cos I love you."
I was so pleased
when that prick died.
What flavour of crisp?
My God!
I'm joking, I'm joking.
I think they're incredible.
Bro, they're meadies, Dris.
Waiting for Jesus.
Who you waiting for? Jesus.
Fuck all of that shit.
I don't want to get my
hand chopped off for
Greg, can I borrow you?
I'm sorry, Greg. I
I couldn't make out the words.
Yeah, me neither.
My handwriting's fucking awful.
Can't read anything I write.
Well, could you do it on a
computer maybe, in the library?
I only get two hours a
week in the library,
and that's stripped every
time there's a lockdown.
I'm sorry, Greg. I can't read it.
But, listen, sometimes they let you
have a laptop, if there's a reason.
You want me to talk to the governor?
Maybe ask for you?
What for?
Well, so that you
can do your memoir.
Yeah, but why are you doing that?
Just to help.
Well, I want to get it down,
the memoir.
While it's still in there, you know?
Yeah. I get it.
I'll speak to the governor,
see what happens.
Oh.
It was inappropriate of you
to bring up my father, Keith.
Was it?
Yeah, it was.
It could be seen as an attempt
to manipulate a member of staff,
and things like that get punished.
All right?
I could get you put on
basic for what you said.
Is that a threat, Daniel?
No, it's a statement.
Ooh!
Well, colour me
shitting my fucking pants.
I notice you're not telling
me to go fuck myself, though.
You know what your problem is?
Hmm?
You're not one thing or the other.
No
You're not us, you're not them.
You're definitely not your
father's son, that's for sure.
And I'd wager you're
not your mum's either.
Stuck
..right in the fucking middle.
That's you, son.
Can't piss,
can't get off the pot.
That's a messy place to be.
Well, you have a think about it.
You know where I am.
And, by the way, you can
take this shite with you.
Self and Zizek together?
I'm a red-blooded heterosexual, but
that's way too much cunt for anyone.
Oh.
Oh.
Boop!
Oh.
Do you remember what
Dad's favourite song was?
My Way. Wow.
You remember that?
No. Guessed it.
You guessed his favourite song?
Well, was it?
Yeah. Yeah, it was obvious.
Wanker's charter. "I did it my way."
Yeah, of course you fucking did.
That's your problem, pal.
You all right, Lee?
Yeah, fine. Just tired.
This sleep thing's a killer.
I haven't been to a
meeting for a while, so
You've not been to a meeting?
Oh, no, Dan. It's fine.
Jesus, Lee. That's Dan.
I'm all right.
I'll get to one tomorrow.
It's just
I'm just whacked, is all.
Why do you think Mum didn't
..didn't leave him sooner?
It's just that, when I
asked her the other day,
it looked like she was going to cry.
Well, don't fucking ask her, then!
What the fuck are you
asking her for?
Well, I think it's
a reasonable question.
Oh, "reasonable." Yeah. Oh, right,
now she's got to walk around
with a head full of that prick
all day. Yeah, reasonable.
What is going on with
you at the moment?
I mean, why are you
asking about him?
All right. This, erm
This prisoner told me about a pal
of his who was dad's pad-mate,
and he'd asked if I wanted
him to make an introduction.
Are you joking? No, I told him,
"No," Lee. What you doing, Dan?
I told him to go fuck himself,
actually. What are you doing?
He's after something. I know.
He's trying to drag you in.
He's going to ask for a phone,
drugs No, no, I know, Lee.
Lee, I know.
I told him that.
I said, "No." I shut it down.
Oh, did you?
Cos you're talking about it now.
So you think you've shut it down,
but he's got inside your head
Lee. Lee.
Lee, I can handle it! Because
that's how it works in there.
Christ.
I know that I'm your younger
brother, right, but you treat me
like I'm a child sometimes,
like I've not been through anything.
Oh, right, yeah.
What you been through?
OK, I'm a part of this family. OK?
Oh, for That's not what
I said. I didn't mean that.
No, you didn't have to. It fucking
drips off you, all of you.
I'm not some fucking
wine-swilling academic, OK?
I have lived things, they're in me.
What about Mum?
What ABOUT Mum?
Digging all this stuff up.
What about me? What about my son?
What? That's nothing to do with
it Cos it's not just your life
that you're bringing
him back into, is it?
I'm not fucking bringing him
back from anywhere. Christ!
You shouldn't be in that place.
It's dangerous, Dan.
Lee, I can handle it.
You shouldn't be in there!
Lee, I can handle it!
Do not talk to me
about that man again!
I do not want to hear it!
Not where my son is.
You get another fucking job, Dan!
Don't tell him we came home early,
all right, Danny?
You want me to lie?
I don't want your brother upset.
He's got enough on his plate.
Is Lee coming home with us?
Your brother's just doing
a bit of work, Danny.
So, was it a good holiday?
Yeah, it was nice.
That's it? Just nice?
You don't want to hear about that.
Yeah, I do.
Course I want to hear about it.
Look at what I got to stare at.
It wasfine, Lee. It was fine.
"Fine"?
Whataren't you saying?
Nothing! It was good.
We had a great time.
Everything was lovely.
Wasn't it, Danny?
Danny, tell your brother
the holiday was good.
Mum said you were working.
Yeah, that's right.
Dan, I've just been
doing a bit of work.
But this is a prison.
Why didn't you tell me?
Look,
all this
..this ain't for you.
You're different, Dan.
What does that mean?
Why am I different?
No. That's a good thing.
How's that good?
Dan
..you're different.
Do you want to see something?
That's our holiday money.
All these pricks round here, noses
in the air, looking down at us
Fucking jealous now, in't they?
Do you want to hold it?
Don't want to get your prints
on that.
Could make you an accessory.
Don't say those things to him.
About fucking time.
So, how do I look?
What is she, son?
She's a tart, Dad.
That's right.
She's a tart.
Is Lee coming?
No, Lee's away doing a bit of work.
Oh!
What about this? No.
You would say no.
Let me do it!
What about this? This is nice.
That's it!
My Way
by Paul Anka
This is it! No, no, no, not this.
Yes!
This is music. This is MY song.
Can we have something a bit?
SINGS ALONG: # Of which I'm certain
# I've lived
It's not a Frank one. It's a cover.
# And travelled each
and every highway #
Still good, though.
Eh! You listening, boy?
# I did it my way
# Regrets
# I've had a few
# Then again
# Too few to mention
# I did what I had to do
# Saw it through
# Without exemption
# I planned each charted course
# Each careful step
# Along the byway
# And more
# Much more than this
BOTH: # I did it my way
# Yes, there were times
# I'm sure you knew
# When I bit off more than
I could chew
# And through it all
# When there was doubt
# I ate it up!
# And spit it out!
# I faced it all!
# And I stood tall!
# And did it my #
CARNIVAL MUSIC JINGLES
Five nights? Yeah.
Lovely. I've got a lovely
room for you with a view.
Oh, perfect.
Do you hear that, it's
got a sea view. Nice.
Number three, so that's
Third floor. Right.
Breakfast from 7am.
Here, mate!
Mate!
Do one of us, will you?
One of your Polaroids.
Do one of us, eh?
Just one, is all.
Nice one.
Thank you.
Come on.
Wow.
Just popping out.
You're coming back though, right?
Yeah, course I am.
Because we've dinner at 8:00.
I said I'm coming back, didn't I?
TV: A doll!
MUSIC PLAYS FROM TV
What's the price, Miss?
Come on. Let's fucking eat!
Daniel.
What is she?
She's a tart, Dad. Yeah!
She is a fucking tart.
Look at this place.
What a fucking shithole.
No, it's nice.
Nice, is it? That's what you think?
Look, Daniel, tart's got an opinion.
Can you talk, little tart?
Don't start, OK?
I'm not starting,
I'm just having a laugh!
A laugh, is all.
Come on. I'm just having a laugh,
is all, a little bit of a laugh.
I want a nice evening out.
This is a nice evening out.
We're having a nice evening.
This'll be nice.
Don't you think this is nice?
I've shat in better places
than this.
So, anyway, what about you?
How's How's life as a
single woman about town?
Oh, stop!
You You seem really well, Mum.
Yeah. Yeah, I am well.
Do you miss him?
Yeah, of course I do.
Look, I was with Martin for a lot
longer than I was with your dad.
I mean, he was a boring
old bastard, but
He was kind.
It's cancer, Danny.
Sometimes, I think you
grieve before they die.
Well, I I love the way
that you came out of it.
Really? Yeah.
It's your life. You get to
live it for you, for once.
Yeah.
Well, in that case,
I'm going to get wankered.
Oh, you know that your
Uncle Frank is out?
Yeah, yeah, I heard. Yeah.
I think Lee's going to pop round
to see him tomorrow, so
Well, you could join?
Yeah. I don't know, Mum.
Look, you know how down he gets.
He needs family around him.
Look, Frank's great. I will go.
It's just
I don't know, him AND Lee together.
Two ex-cons.
It's going to get a bit
male and manly for me. Oh, Danny.
Frank loves you. I know, I know.
He IS my only brother.
I will. I'll go. I'll go and see
him, I promise, next week.
Oh, excuse me, sorry.
Could I have a glass of white,
please?
Thanks.
Can I Can I ask you something?
Yeah.
How come you stayed
with Dad for so long?
Why you asking that?
I just
You know, I don't know, it's just
You could've
You could have left him sooner.
Why didn't you?
Look, when I met him,
I was well turned out,
good looking, funny, smart.
I was a catch.
But by the time I went
looks was all I had.
Knowing the right shade
of lippy to put on.
How can a person like that leave?
No, but you did.
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
So So why not sooner?
You know?
Yeah, change the subject, eh, Danny?
I don't know. I just keep thinking
about it because, I just
What if things might have
been better if? Danny.
No, wait, I don't mean
Yeah, no
I just I mean for you.
Danny
I just mean Please.
Sorry, I don't I
Talking of Lee, I was
there at the weekend.
Took some pics of Dean.
Do you want to see?
Yeah, of course I do.
Go on. He's really growing, look.
Oh, my God.
He is really growing, isn't he?
Yeah.
What has she got in her tits?
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Oh, that's justthat's
just to check the, erm
Uhthe
Let's
Shall we get you that glass of wine?
Excuse me.
MUTTERING: Fucking God
Jesus fucking Christ.
Oh, you fucking prick.
It's in your locker, Dan.
Oh, my God.
I'm going fucking nuts.
You still up for tonight?
Yes, yes. Yeah, I really am.
Ermtotally.
But don't be late, OK?
No, I won't be late.
Max is doing his jambalaya.
It has to be exactly right,
and he will not serve it until
everyone's there. Jamie.
I won't be late. Don't worry.
Right.
OK, stupid question.
I don't have anything in here, do I?
Like what?
Half a kilo of heroin?
Go through the fucking door, Dan.
Yeah.
Plato tells the story
of a man called Gyges,
who finds a ring of invisibility.
Once Gyges puts the ring on,
he can do anything he likes.
Kill, steal.
Do anything at all without
anyone finding out.
And where does big man
find this ring?
Plato's question is,
is there any reason
for Gyges to be good?
Females?
Females.
Just females? Nothing else?
Well, I'm assuming this Gyges
hasn't been saved by the light
of the Lord Jesus Christ, so, yeah,
just females. Here we go.
You know what, yeah,
I'll go with that.
When I was begging, if I see, like,
three lads on a night out, yeah,
I know I'm getting nothing.
But if I see a man with a girl, and
they got, like, shopping bags, yeah?
Like, honeymoon vibes.
I go straight up to him,
ask him for money,
nine out of ten times,
he gives it, yeah?
Like, I give him the chance to look
kind and, like, he's got cash.
Like, I provide a service!
Serious!
Like, without me, he spends
the night on Pornhub.
OK.
So, Gyges should only be
good if women can see him?
Look, Dan. Look around us, bro.
We've got female teachers,
officers, nurses.
What, you take them all away,
you think men are going to be,
what, better? It's nonsense.
"Nonce"? Is that a confession?
HE CHUCKLES, NO-ONE JOINS IN
Did you want to say
something, Wallace?
Women are the salvation of men.
Yeah, that's what
we're saying, Wallace.
But you got to earn it,
you got to be decent first,
not just when they're looking.
So, some philosophers say that, erm,
masculinity is an identity
achieved through dominance.
In order for me to be a man,
someone else has to lose.
And more often than not, that
someone is a woman or child.
No, Dan.
There are good men,
and there's bad man, yeah?
Well, the writer, Bell Hooks,
she argues that the idea
of the good man is sexist.
She says we should want to be
a good PERSON, not a good man.
In here, I don't think
about being a good person.
But I do feel bad about
not being a good man.
When I'm on the phone to my ex, and
I hear my little girl crying cos
..you know, some teacher
don't like her.
I can't do nothing. I can't sort it.
I feel like shit.
Yeah, I don't like the
whole dominance thing.
It's belittling, if you
don't mind me saying, Dan.
Erm
Being a man, its way
more than dominance.
Mm. A lot more.
DOOR OPENS
Oh, shit, it's VPs!
I see you! I'm going to cut your
dick off, you little bastards!
As for the cowardly, the faithless!
The detestable, the sexually immoral
and liars! I see you! You pussies!
There is the portion that burns with
fire and sulphur! Fucking bastards!
Sex offender fucks!
You deviant fucks!
All right, Keith?
You all right?
You weren't in class. No.
They wouldn't let
us off the landing.
I'd love to say it was an incident,
but, like as not, someone just
squashed a cockroach
without the correct paperwork.
This place is a shite shambles, Dan.
Well, I've I've
brought you some reading.
I know you like a head start.
I do, I do.
Thank you.
It's a dialogue between
Slavoj Zizek and Will Self.
Ah, Zizek!
The Billy Connolly of philosophy.
It's like if performance art
fucked verbosity.
Thanks for that, Dan.
That's all right.
I'll I'll see you next class.
All right. Oh, by the way.
I could do something
for you in return.
"In return"? What do you mean?
Well, your dad did time, right?
What makes you say that?
Well, in a place like this,
word gets around.
Doesn't matter how.
What matters is, I know a
guy who was inside with him.
He was your dad's pad-mate.
Right, that's what he said, is it?
He said he was my dad's pad-mate?
Aye, for eight months. Mm.
Now, that's a hell of a long
time in a place like this.
And what's more is
..that man's in here.
You know, I could put you in touch.
You couldhave a chat with him.
Would you like that?
I'll think about what you said.
Right. Yeah.
All right, Lee?
Hey. Erm, yeah.
Look, listen, you're going to
Uncle Frank's today, right?
I thought I might
you know, tag along?
Yeah. Erm, when are you going?
Yeah.
Yeah, sure. Yeah, I've
Yeah, I've got something
I have to do first.
The thing was, though, Dan,
they made you fucking march.
What, like a soldier?
Like a fucking tin soldier!
They wanted to march you down
to get your fucking chow!
This is years ago, Dan.
I'm a kid, so I'm not having this.
I give it the Travolta roll.
I'm all like
Wahey! There she goes,
Saturday Night Fever.
This big screw takes one look.
Bang! Punches me right
in the guts for that.
No.
Yeah, I go down like
a sack of spuds.
Puked up all over his shoes, I did!
Oh! I bet they were shiny, and all!
But the next day,
I'll do it all again.
I give it the roll, bang, punched
in the guts, on the floor.
Next day, roll, bang, floor.
Ten days straight, I swear to God.
So, they change tack.
I go down, they gave me my dinner.
The whole plate is covered in salt.
Oh!
No, that's wrong, that is.
Yeah, you had to scrape
it off even to eat, eh?
But I still give it the roll, right?
And every day they give me my
plate of food, white with salt.
Ten days of that, chuck me in seg.
Oh! No, that is bad.
Dan, seg, that's awful.
I mean, I've never done seg,
but they bury you down there, mate.
You sleep on a concrete ledge, Dan.
Each day, the screws would
wake me up, take me outside,
give me a shovel, and make me
dig an hole eight foot deep.
And at the end of the day,
I'd have to fill it back in.
God, you must have been exhausted.
Dan, every day, when they open
that door, I'd spring to my feet,
big smile and go
"You got my shovel? I love digging."
THEY LAUGH
I loved it. I loved it. I did.
Right, but you hated it, really?
I loved it. I pretended
I loved it. Yeah.
So, you didn't love it?
No, Dan, he loved it. He pretended.
I used to pretend I loved it,
so, you know
I LOVED it!
What about on your own? When you
put your head on the pillow?
I'd been digging
fucking holes all day.
I slept like a log.
What you got to
remember about prison is
..it fucking loves
to grip you in place.
Now, if you don't want that,
you've got to push back.
So, one day, they send
me back to my cell.
No-one says a word.
I'm thinking, "Oh, aye, what now?"
They call feeding time.
I roll on down, just like always.
All eyes on me.
Give me my food.
Clean.
Not a grain of salt on it.
Earn their respect, Frank.
They'd given up on me.
So, I took that plate, look up
at the screw who's with me,
and I say
"Where's my fucking salt?"
Got any crisps or something, Nan?
No.
What do you mean, "No"?
You got to have some.
No. Get off.
All right, all right, all right.
Is it the puff? Hmm.
Oh, you don't like to be around it.
He's a good lad - Lee.
He's done really well.
He's looking a bit tired,
though, ain't he?
Yeah. I noticed that.
You digging holes again, Frank?
Making a pond for Mum.
Loads of wildlife in a pond.
Toads, ducks, dragonflies.
Could even get newts.
I don't want fucking newts.
Thanks, Nan.
I love wildlife.
When we was little, used to bunk
the train to Sandwich, in Kent.
Sit on the shore,
watch the sun go down.
I've not been back
since I was a boy.
Well, we could go if you like,
Frank? Get you some air.
Well, great, but
What about tomorrow?
Got to wait for a clear day, though.
You want to clear day.
It's going to be
really clear tomorrow.
Well, yeah. We'll,
Yeah, we'll
We'll do that, yeah,
but we'll wait for a clear day.
Yeah.
Erm
Frank, do you know where Dad is?
Why you asking that?
I just
I just I just want
to know where he is.
You're not going to get in touch
with him, are you? No, no, no, no.
No.
Just want to know.
There's lots of reasons
why people do crime.
With me, it's cos I was good at it.
With Lee, it's cos he had to,
he had no choice.
But with your dad, it was cos
he liked to subjugate people.
He loved to grind people down.
He enjoyed it.
He was a fucking weasel.
And you shouldn't need
reminding of that.
This for starter, this for main.
Where's that prick with our drinks?
Well, we can see they're busy.
Oh, so sorry, guys.
There's been a problem in the
kitchen.
It's all gone a bitcrazy.
Where's my drink?
Erm, they're just on drinks now,
but I thought, if I get your food
order in, there should be no delay.
Oh, that is very considerate.
Off the kids menu, we'll have
the sausage bites to start,
and then the pasta, but
with no cheese. Of course.
And for me as a starter,
could I get
Actually, is the baked brie good?
Honestly, it's the
best thing on the menu.
Not just saying that?
All right, well, normally, yes,
but it is really good.
Well, how could I resist that?
Yeah, how could you resist that?
Great. And for you, sir?
Calamari.
Calamari. Fantastic.
And now for the mains.
I've actually got a special tonight,
it's a grilled monkfish.
It comes with a baked potato,
salad, and a pesto sauce.
Oh, that does sound lovely.
You know, I think I'll take that.
Great.
Thought you were having cod.
Yeah, I was, but
Well, don't let him upsell you.
Have your fucking cod.
I want steak, cremated.
And if I see one drop of blood,
won't just be the
fucking cow bleeding.
Uh
Do you move as fast as you smile?
Uh, sorry, I
Don't start, he's just doing
his job. What you sorry for?
Uh, nothing. I'm not. I just
So, you're not sorry?
Not sorry at all, then?
Should I just get the drinks?
Well, I'm not going to go up there
and get them my fucking self, am I?
Fucking fairy wanker.
Mum?
Where's Dad?
He's having a drink.
What, by himself?
Go brush your teeth, Danny.
I wish Lee was here.
That what you want, is it?
What you doing?
That what you fucking well want?
Is it?
That what you want?
Is that what you fucking well want?
What do you want?
What do you want?!
Wear it. Here!
Calm down!
Is that what you want, is it?
Calm down, sir! That what you
fucking well want? Stop!
Is that what you want? Stop it.
There you go! Have that!
Is that what you want, is it?
Stop! Get off me!
That what you fucking well want?
Is that what you want?! Hey!
What are you?
Let's go!
Now, calm down!
Stop! No! No!
No! No! No!
That what you want, is it?!
That what you fucking well want?!
That what you want, is it?!
Honestly, I just cannot find
anything wrong with it.
I just keep thinking
that I can smell gas.
Well, can you smell it now?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I think I can.
No, you can't.
Cos I've had the gas
lines off for 90 minutes
and the windows open for 70.
So, if there's any gas in this room,
it is defying the basic laws
of atmospheric circulation.
OK, soso why can I smell it?
Uh, well, that is between you
and a caring and
qualified psychotherapist.
Look, it's, erm
It's a mechanical process.
Gas flow is initiated by
physically turning the knob.
It's fine.
But if you want to get a second
opinion, you're more than welcome.
Is that a thing in gas engineering?
No.
OK, so, I, uh
I should just relax?
Yeah. Yeah, I'd give that a try.
You want me to check it again,
don't you?
Yeah Yeah.
Is that totally insane?
Well, it is going to be
exactly the same result.
AndI will have to charge you for
another hour,
and you did say you
had somewhere to be,
and you're already late, so Yeah,
yeah.
Erm, yeah No, OK.
Sorry, yeah.
Check it again, please.
ENGINEER SCOFFS
BAG UNZIPS
Hey, Jamie.
Hey. Yeah, I'm
Yeah, sorry, sorry.
I'm on a bus, but there
There was
There was thisthis, erm
fight on the bus.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. These two guys.
Look, so, I'm
I'm on another one right now,
so I'm going to be there in
Erm
Well, listen, I mean,
as soon as I can.
Fuck this,
fuck this, fuck this
MUFFLED CHATTER
Hey. Max.
I'm so sorry. There was
There was a fight on the bus, and
then there was roadworks, and it
I'm going to go and try
and rescue the jambalaya,
which was ready
one hour and 25 minutes ago.
WHISPERING: Is he really pissed off?
Yeah.
But he is driving me nuts.
So, this guy, he's a prisoner?
What's his name, Helen?
Damir. Do you know him?
I don't think so.
Well, I've been doing these
lessons, parenting through play?
So, I bring in a bunch
of toys for the men,
and I teach them how to play
with their own children.
Oh, my God, that is amazing.
Because a lot of them
don't know how.
They're often inside when their kids
are born, and their own families
It's not exactly like they come
from homes where Dad engages fully.
I could not do it. Working in a
prison, I just could not do it.
But this one guy drives me nuts.
Damir, is he a lifer?
Yeah, that's right. Do you know him?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, I quite like him.
You work in a prison as well?
Yeah, I thought you
taught philosophy?
I do.
Ermin prison, to prisoners.
Wow.
Fucking wow!
That's just blown my mind.
That's incredible!
Well, anyway, this guy, Damir,
he insists on calling me "Miss"
despite me specifically
telling him, call me Helen.
No, that is annoying.
Thank you.
And he's always finding me a chair.
He will stop everything,
and it's all like,
"Let's find Miss the best chair."
THEY LAUGH
Yeah, what an arse. No!
Dan. It's belittling.
Yeah. No, no, I get that.
That is kind of sexist, actually.
And if anyone says anything,
he's straight in with,
"Have some respect. How would you
feel if she was your sister?"
Like I need him to save me.
Well, I think I think
it's the other way round.
I think that you're saving him.
You know, he has to protect you
from the other men
to prove that he's not like them.
They're the men that have to
dominate other people, not him.
Yeah, but what he's
doing is the opposite
and that kind of male protection
is proprietary, right?
I mean, erm, he's actually
reinforcing dominant behaviour.
Write that down for me, Paul.
I'll pass that on to Damir before
his next anal cavity search.
Max, this is gorgeous.
Yeah. Normally, it is.
Dan, can I ask you a question?
I think so.
Well, it's a bit personal.
You said your father is a prisoner.
Was.
Yeah, erm, like I said,
I don't know where he is now.
So, do you think you're trying to
sort of save these men you teach?
Do you mind me asking you this?
No. Why would I be
trying to save them?
Well
What, you happened to just find
yourself working in the place
that stole your father from you?
No, no, no. My father wasn't stolen.
I mean, he stole,
but he wasn't stolen.
Yeah.
No, seriously, though.
I mean, otherwise, why are
you working in a prison?
Why's Jamie in a prison?
Why's Helen in a prison?
THEY LAUGH
Whyin a!
Well, come on.
"Come on," what?
What do you mean, "Come on"?
Well, it's just different,
isn't it? Is it?
Well, you know it is.
What, this has never occurred
to you before? What, ever?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm just fucking dumb, Paul.
And Dan doesn't drink, by the way.
To reiterate, this is Dan sober.
I mean, I don't think Paul
was trying to make you
What do your parents do, Paul?
Oh they're both, uh, GPs.
You said you were a doctor,
didn't you?
All right, OK.
I can see where this is
And yet you don't feel
the need to pathologize
that kind of inheritance?
Oh, I wasn't pathologizing
Oh, no, no, that's right, of course.
Nice middle-class, bourgeois,
white bread, nepo baby
pass-downs are perfectly acceptable.
All right, Dan. Come on.
No, I'm
I'm not trying to save anyone.
The time to save them's long gone.
We all missed the boat on that one.
We were too busy recreationally
pontificating over
Chateauneuf-du-Pape and shoving
culturally appropriated rice stodge
down our throats.
Now, I don't I'm really sorry
But I don't save,
I don't rehabilitate.
I mean, I don't even educate,
really. I mean
Actually the most that I do is
a two-hour holiday in the head.
A brief respite from
a life of concrete,
steeped in spice.
A life that can best be
characterised by the act of
trying not to make eye
contact with another man
while he shits in front of you.
That's me, Paul.
QUIETLY: So, feel free
topsychoanalyse that.
Fucking hell.
Sorry, I was I was just, erm
Yeah? What were you "just", then?
What the fricking fuck?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.
"White bread, nepo baby,
pass-downs"?
Yeah, that was too much, wasn't it?
No, no. The whole thing
was too much.
Everything that came out of your
mouth was way too much.
I mean, I don't know you, but
I hope this is a nervous breakdown,
because if this is what
you're normally like
Is it OK in there?
No. No, it is not.
The atmosphere is
most definitely ruined.
Paul's a dick, though, right?
No. I mean, he was just drunk.
And Max is lovely, but he's
never going to forgive you
for that shitty jambalaya.
I mean, you were an hour and a
half late. What were you doing?
I was checking my stove.
Excuse me?
My cooker.
Takes me an hour to
leave the house these days
cos I keep thinking it's on.
That's what I was doing just now,
checking photos of it.
Photos? Of your cooker?
Yeah. Do you want to see?
Got thousands.
But they don't work any more.
I justI just keep thinking that
that flame's going to come on
anyway. Fucking debilitating.
Oh, and I've started seeing my dad.
Or, like, thinking
that I'm seeing him.
And Paul's right.
Me doing this job may
very well be about a man
that I never want to see again,
and fucking hated anyway, so
Actually, yeah, this
could be a breakdown.
Why don't you use a video camera?
Instead of photos. Set up a
nanny cam in front of the cooker.
Download the app on your phone,
you can watch it in real time.
That way, you'll know your
house isn't burning down.
I mean, that's what I'd do
if I was fucking nuts.
But why are we going home?
We only got here yesterday.
The holiday money's gone.
Your dad had to pay a fine
for nicking that jewellery.
It wasn't jewellery. It was
display models. It was all fakes.
You see, that's why you need to
keep out of trouble, Danny.
It was just plastic. That's
why they couldn't put me away.
Yeah, you didn't know that
at the time, though, did you?
You ruin everything you touch!
Why have you parked so far? Sh!
I don't want people to see.
Keep your fucking head down, you.
Don't touch the light!
I don't want them
knowing our business.
You're staying at Gary's?
I'm doing a bit of work.
Oh, great.
Don't you ever learn?
Mum, I'm hungry.
What, we're supposed to stay
in the dark for a week?
I'm not having them, out
there, knowing our business.
I won't have them
looking down on us.
Of course they look down on us!
I mean, I'd look down on us.
Look at the state of us!
Mum, I'm really hungry.
Not now, Danny. But I'm starving,
I've not eaten since lunch.
I'll get you something soon.
When? I'm hungry.
Look, you can go to
the shops at night.
I'll be back in a couple of days,
I said that.
But I'm not having these
fucking arseholes sneering at me!
Is that understood?
Cos it's all about you, isn't it?
It is all about you and what you
I said I'm hungry, you tart!
What did you just say?!
Come here, you, now!
Closer.
What did you just say?
If you ever talk to
her like that again,
I will fucking kill you, boy.
Do you understand that?
I will end your life.
Do you believe that?
I will fucking kill you.
Malcolm X was a man
of transformations.
At 21, he went to
prison for robbery.
Inside, educated himself,
and when he came out he
became ardently political.
Yeah, yeah, I watched
a film about him.
That Denzel played him, innit?
Bruv, I read his whole book, bruv!
He became a criminal
to get away from poverty.
That right, Dan? Mm-hm.
But he's a complicated figure.
So, while, in later life, he
acknowledged the role
that women played in the struggle,
in his early speeches X talks
about how men are strong
and women are weak.
He tells men to
dominate their women.
Yeah, but he grew up with no dad.
Why does that make a difference?
Loads of men in here only have mums,
yet they end up misogynistic.
Blame the one that's still there.
A rapist moves onto their landing,
they all join the queue
to fuck that guy up.
But a female guard passes,
see all them same mans
standing around like
Hands on their balls, Dan.
Every time, hands down
the front, touching balls.
Female right there.
So, a father's a good influence?
No. Dads make it worse.
One time, my
dad slapped me up, yeah?
And then this advert
for Childline comes on.
I'm all crying,
I'm snotty, I'm like,
"I'm going to call that number!"
And he's like, "All right, go ahead.
"Yeah, I'll slap you up
before they come round,
"I'll slap you up
whilst they're here,
"and I'll slap you up
after they're gone."
Eh, my old man used to call them
adverts "tooth decay", yeah?
He says they're an easy way
to lose your fucking teeth.
My dad broke my arm once.
It was, like, a compound spiral
fracture of the radius,
plus a dislocated shoulder.
And I had to pretend I caught
it in the rubbish chutes.
And he comes to hospital the
next day with a bag of crisps
and he says,
"I done it cos I love you."
I was so pleased
when that prick died.
What flavour of crisp?
My God!
I'm joking, I'm joking.
I think they're incredible.
Bro, they're meadies, Dris.
Waiting for Jesus.
Who you waiting for? Jesus.
Fuck all of that shit.
I don't want to get my
hand chopped off for
Greg, can I borrow you?
I'm sorry, Greg. I
I couldn't make out the words.
Yeah, me neither.
My handwriting's fucking awful.
Can't read anything I write.
Well, could you do it on a
computer maybe, in the library?
I only get two hours a
week in the library,
and that's stripped every
time there's a lockdown.
I'm sorry, Greg. I can't read it.
But, listen, sometimes they let you
have a laptop, if there's a reason.
You want me to talk to the governor?
Maybe ask for you?
What for?
Well, so that you
can do your memoir.
Yeah, but why are you doing that?
Just to help.
Well, I want to get it down,
the memoir.
While it's still in there, you know?
Yeah. I get it.
I'll speak to the governor,
see what happens.
Oh.
It was inappropriate of you
to bring up my father, Keith.
Was it?
Yeah, it was.
It could be seen as an attempt
to manipulate a member of staff,
and things like that get punished.
All right?
I could get you put on
basic for what you said.
Is that a threat, Daniel?
No, it's a statement.
Ooh!
Well, colour me
shitting my fucking pants.
I notice you're not telling
me to go fuck myself, though.
You know what your problem is?
Hmm?
You're not one thing or the other.
No
You're not us, you're not them.
You're definitely not your
father's son, that's for sure.
And I'd wager you're
not your mum's either.
Stuck
..right in the fucking middle.
That's you, son.
Can't piss,
can't get off the pot.
That's a messy place to be.
Well, you have a think about it.
You know where I am.
And, by the way, you can
take this shite with you.
Self and Zizek together?
I'm a red-blooded heterosexual, but
that's way too much cunt for anyone.
Oh.
Oh.
Boop!
Oh.
Do you remember what
Dad's favourite song was?
My Way. Wow.
You remember that?
No. Guessed it.
You guessed his favourite song?
Well, was it?
Yeah. Yeah, it was obvious.
Wanker's charter. "I did it my way."
Yeah, of course you fucking did.
That's your problem, pal.
You all right, Lee?
Yeah, fine. Just tired.
This sleep thing's a killer.
I haven't been to a
meeting for a while, so
You've not been to a meeting?
Oh, no, Dan. It's fine.
Jesus, Lee. That's Dan.
I'm all right.
I'll get to one tomorrow.
It's just
I'm just whacked, is all.
Why do you think Mum didn't
..didn't leave him sooner?
It's just that, when I
asked her the other day,
it looked like she was going to cry.
Well, don't fucking ask her, then!
What the fuck are you
asking her for?
Well, I think it's
a reasonable question.
Oh, "reasonable." Yeah. Oh, right,
now she's got to walk around
with a head full of that prick
all day. Yeah, reasonable.
What is going on with
you at the moment?
I mean, why are you
asking about him?
All right. This, erm
This prisoner told me about a pal
of his who was dad's pad-mate,
and he'd asked if I wanted
him to make an introduction.
Are you joking? No, I told him,
"No," Lee. What you doing, Dan?
I told him to go fuck himself,
actually. What are you doing?
He's after something. I know.
He's trying to drag you in.
He's going to ask for a phone,
drugs No, no, I know, Lee.
Lee, I know.
I told him that.
I said, "No." I shut it down.
Oh, did you?
Cos you're talking about it now.
So you think you've shut it down,
but he's got inside your head
Lee. Lee.
Lee, I can handle it! Because
that's how it works in there.
Christ.
I know that I'm your younger
brother, right, but you treat me
like I'm a child sometimes,
like I've not been through anything.
Oh, right, yeah.
What you been through?
OK, I'm a part of this family. OK?
Oh, for That's not what
I said. I didn't mean that.
No, you didn't have to. It fucking
drips off you, all of you.
I'm not some fucking
wine-swilling academic, OK?
I have lived things, they're in me.
What about Mum?
What ABOUT Mum?
Digging all this stuff up.
What about me? What about my son?
What? That's nothing to do with
it Cos it's not just your life
that you're bringing
him back into, is it?
I'm not fucking bringing him
back from anywhere. Christ!
You shouldn't be in that place.
It's dangerous, Dan.
Lee, I can handle it.
You shouldn't be in there!
Lee, I can handle it!
Do not talk to me
about that man again!
I do not want to hear it!
Not where my son is.
You get another fucking job, Dan!
Don't tell him we came home early,
all right, Danny?
You want me to lie?
I don't want your brother upset.
He's got enough on his plate.
Is Lee coming home with us?
Your brother's just doing
a bit of work, Danny.
So, was it a good holiday?
Yeah, it was nice.
That's it? Just nice?
You don't want to hear about that.
Yeah, I do.
Course I want to hear about it.
Look at what I got to stare at.
It wasfine, Lee. It was fine.
"Fine"?
Whataren't you saying?
Nothing! It was good.
We had a great time.
Everything was lovely.
Wasn't it, Danny?
Danny, tell your brother
the holiday was good.
Mum said you were working.
Yeah, that's right.
Dan, I've just been
doing a bit of work.
But this is a prison.
Why didn't you tell me?
Look,
all this
..this ain't for you.
You're different, Dan.
What does that mean?
Why am I different?
No. That's a good thing.
How's that good?
Dan
..you're different.