Win or Lose (2025) s01e03 Episode Script

1
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Brand new day
It's a brand new day
-(PHONE VIBRATING)
-Oh.
Feeling like I just got paid
Game day.
-The whole world's spinning in my way
-(PANTING)
(HUMMING)
Not a mouth I ain't feeding today
So pull up and grab yourself a plate
I got some sugar for the neighbors
-Good morning.
-Mom, it's game day!
Woot, woot.
-Can you say "playoffs"?
-Playoffs!
"And she rounds third base
and slides into home. Safe."
What's up, my Van fans?
It's just another busy day
in the mom life.
-Look at my Zane. He's such a hungry boy.
-Say, "Aah."
Like and subscribe for more Mommy Moments.
Ten minutes.
-Huh?
-(VAN GRUNTING)
Yes. Okay. Uh-huh.
-Mom. Mom.
-Uh-uh-uh.
-Do you have your phone?
-Yes.
-Diaper bag?
-Uh-huh.
-Did you use the bathroom?
-I don't need to
Actually, I'll be right back.
Mom!
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
-VAN: Oh! Whoops.
ROCHELLE: Game starts at 1:00.
Don't be late.
VAN: Love you. Bye.
ROCHELLE: Love you.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Sixty dollars is all we need.
Let's get it, Roshie. (EXHALES)
All right, all right, all right.
Who wants a sugar rush?
One blue Gatorade, please.
We're out of blue,
but I could do two for $5 red.
Help me play next season?
You guys have any of those
narrow hamburger thingies?
-Hot dogs?
-Nice.
Hey, do you know how hot dogs are made?
-Uh, no?
-IRA: Listen to this.
-How many calories
-One-sixty.
-Thank you.
-Then they take the leftover meat,
and they grind it all together
into this, like, meat goo.
-Does it have gluten?
-Yes.
And then they take this
plastic wrapper kind of thing,
-and they, like, stuff it into the
-Oh, no.
-He'll just take a water.
-Hey!
Thanks, Rochelle.
Nobody wants to hear
how hot dogs are made.
Oh, that's actually $2.50.
You know what? Don't even worry about it.
(EXHALES)
Two, four
PICKLES: (SINGING)
We are the Pickles and couldn't be prouder
If you can't hear us
We'll yell a little louder
Hey, Rosh! (GRUNTS) Ow.
Hey, Rochelle! Rochelle! Ha! Sorry.
We need to warm up.
Game's startin' in 15 minutes.
I'll be right there, Coach.
I'm just waiting on Cheryl.
Hey, (CHUCKLES) do you guys still
have those double nugget cookies?
Uh, yeah, I think we just got a box in.
So, double nugget cookie
plus the corn chips behind your back.
That'll be $5.25.
Uh, whoops. (CHUCKLES) Thanks.
(GROANS) Rochelle, so sorry I'm late.
I thought I saw a ghost this morning.
It was a whole thing.
No worries, Cheryl.
Money's in the cash box,
and I hit my goal!
-I can play next season!
-Oh, wonderful!
-Okay, gotta run. It's game time.
-Go Pickles.
(CROWD CHEERING)
-FRANK: Out.
-Yeah! Let's go.
PICKLES: (SINGING) L-U-C-K-Y
Lucky seven make it fly
Lucky
Go seven go
Lucky
Go seven go
(ALL CHEERING)
-PICKLES: Dinger!
-(CHUCKLES)
All right. Last inning.
One down, two to go.
Watch third, then go one.
Let's shut it down!
Hey, Frankie, don't go easy on us.
No favoritism here.
We don't got this. Go back.
Back, back some more.
-Laurie! Back! Back!
-(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
-Kai! Home, home!
-(GRUNTS)
(CROWD GASPING)
-Out! That's game. Pickles, five-four.
-(ALL CHEERING)
All right! Go Pickles!
ALL: (CHANTING) Roshie! Roshie! Roshie!
Hey, Rosh. (GRUNTS)
The difference between a winner
and a loser is so small.
It's like the size of an ant.
You all need to hustle out there.
And not just for you, but for your team.
-All right, Pickles.
-(SIGHS) Seriously?
COACH DAN: I'll see you guys Saturday
for the championship.
All right, parents, huddle up.
-Parents, on me.
-(SIGHS)
-(LAUGHING)
-That means all parents.
-But Mom's gotta do
-Mom.
-what she gotta do. I know, right?
-ROCHELLE: Mom.
(SIGHS)
Hey, Rochelle. Is your mom gonna join us?
Uh Yeah. She's dealing
with a baby blowout, you know?
But I've got it covered, Coach.
Okay, so, uh, like I mentioned
in the email, dues went up,
and I'll need them
by this Saturday's game.
-What?
-The kids are movin' up.
There are gonna be more travel tourneys,
and this is the result.
So, the new price
is gonna be, uh, $1,600.
Sixteen hundred? No, no, no, no. No.
COACH DAN: I know, I know.
I'm sorry for the late notice.
Come see me or send payment
before next weekend.
(HYPERVENTILATING)
(EXHALES)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
-(SIGHS)
-(ODO GULPING)
Beware the chicken. (BURPS)
-What?
-(ZANE GIGGLES)
-(TIRES SCREECH)
-VAN: What a game!
Honor roll student, and pretty soon,
we'll be able to add
"champion" to the resumé. Woot! Woot!
(ROCHELLE LAUGHS)
I have such a wonderful daughter.
-(ZANE BABBLING)
-And son. I am very lucky.
Hey, Mom. I found out today
Oh, could you grab that box
from the back seat for me?
Sure.
Oh, what's that?
Somebody must love you.
Go ahead, open it.
-ROCHELLE: What the
-Surprise!
Mom. Red Valkyries? Seriously?
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Wait. How did you pay for these?
I had to pick up
some extra hours here and there.
You know, coffee at home,
no avocado toast, yada, yada, yada.
Mom.
I'll cancel my gym membership.
We did that last Christmas.
-Fine. No more online shopping.
-You've been online shopping?
No.
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS) It's okay.
We'll make it work. We always do.
We always do. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, I saw you speaking with Coach.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, um, just some paperwork.
I handled it.
VAN: Oh, so responsible.
-(PANTING)
-VAN: Say, "Champion"!
Champions.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
And you think that's bad?
Then she surprised me
with these super expensive cleats.
And I'm all like, "Vanessa, really"?
I mean, they looked pretty cool, though.
How do you know about my cleats?
Oh, I follow your mom. Don't you?
VAN: Surprise!
Mom! Red Valkyries?
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Yo, she posted that?
Oh, my gosh, it gets me every time.
Sometimes I wish
I didn't have to be the parent, you know?
Um, that's fair.
Hey, do I look buff?
Um, yeah! Girl, have you been juicing?
What? No.
Um, about your mom, at least you have
cool cleats for next season.
Right. Next season.
(OINKS)
LAURIE: See you at lunch, Rosh.
-Rochelle, can we talk for a second?
-(GRUNTING)
Can I just copy your answers
on the homework?
-I cannot fail this class.
-(GRUNTS)
Sorry, Tom. I don't do cheating.
And if I give you all the answers,
how are you supposed to learn?
Oh, right. Right, very true.
I'll pay you 20 bucks.
(GRUNTS)
-Twenty bucks?
-Thirty?
I don't think you understand
how this works, Tom.
Fine, 50. I'll send it to you right now.
(DINGING)
-Uh Deal?
-(DINGS)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
(CHUCKLES) Sweet.
Rochelle, you're a lifesaver.
(SHUSHES) Keep your voice down, Tom.
I think we should really do
some proper tutoring.
-I can help you.
-Oh, yeah, for sure.
-And don't tell anyone about this.
-(TYPING)
-Oh, I already told everyone.
-(BEEPS)
-Tom!
-Sorry.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
(CHIMING)
Tom said you know calculus.
BOY: I've got $50 for an A in Bio.
GIRL: Do you know
how many sides are in a triangle?
Whoa, there's a lot of demand here.
Struggling to make
that grade this semester?
Need help with that pesky book report?
Meet me tomorrow morning,
Music Hall bathroom,
for Rochelle's speed tutoring.
-Can you help with my geometry homework?
-Let's see.
Remember, C equals pi times D.
A equals pi R squared.
Uh Got it. Thanks.
-(OINKS)
-(DINGS)
-Help with bio?
-The cell wall is here.
-That's the nucleus.
-BOY 1: The what?
(GROANS) Study that
and you'll ace the quiz.
-(OINKS)
-(DINGS)
-BOY 2: French homework, s'il vous plaít?
-Sure.
GIRL 1: I'll pay you to help me
with world history.
-Okay. Yep.
-GIRL 2: Tom said you're good at math.
Keep an eye on Zane. Mama's going out.
Okay.
-(THUDS)
-(GASPS)
(GRUNTS)
-BOY: Crime and Punishment?
-What? (SIGHS)
Best I could do in this time frame
is double space, size 14 font, B-plus.
-Next.
-Spanish homework?
Hmm? A high schooler?
(CHUCKLES) Actually,
this one's really tricky. (GRUNTS)
-(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
-Rochelle! Science fair project.
No IOUs, no rain checks,
and absolutely no crypto.
I'm looking at you, Chad. Next.
(ALL CLAMORING)
(SIGHS)
I can have it to you by tomorrow morning.
OMG, Rochelle. You are a whole legend.
-That's what I do. 30 bucks.
-Oh.
-See you at the game Saturday.
-Go Pickles.
-(OINKS)
-(DINGS)
-(SIGHS)
-(TOILET FLUSHING)
-Hey, Rosh.
-Oh, hey.
-Are you okay?
-Yeah, it's just
To help me pass the civics test?
A test? In front of Mr. Brown?
That's a whole different ball game.
I'm not touching that.
Okay. Let's say 100 bucks?
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
Sit right behind me.
Okay. Right behind you. Got it. What else?
That's it, Tom. Just sit behind me.
This is crucial, okay?
-Crucial. Got it.
-(FRANK SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
FRANK: I want all eyes on papers
with complete focus. That means
(FRANK CLEARS THROAT)
-Sorry.
-Unbelievable.
FRANK: Shh. No talking. Thank you.
All right, folks.
You have 20 minutes. Begin.
(CLOCK TICKING)
(SHARPENER WHIRRING)
Pencils on the left. Pens on the right.
Don't wanna get confused.
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) Huh?
(BLOWS)
(WHISPERING) Psst. Hey, Kai.
Pass this back to Tom.
-What? Are you serious?
-Shh.
No, no.
Please, Kai. I need this.
(SIGHS) Give it here.
-(SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING)
-(ROCHELLE GASPS)
Unacceptable!
VAN: You can tell me if you messed up.
I'd rather you be honest.
Well, I mean, I was helping a kid.
-VAN: Mmm-hmm. Go on.
-I was caught in the crossfire.
There was a note being passed,
and I know I shouldn't have.
But this kid asked me to pass it.
Hmm. Okay. I understand.
And I appreciate you being honest.
Because I did not raise a cheater.
-(SIGHS) Actually, Mom
-Hey, girl.
-Say hi to my followers.
-Uh Hey.
I was thinking before the game
we could get some mani pedis,
-just us gals
-Don't you have work, though?
(SIGHS)
Okay, so, don't be mad.
-What did you do? (STUTTERS)
-I quit.
-You quit?
-That guy was a jerk.
Besides, I really want to focus
on being a content creator.
-Content? That's not even a thing.
-(MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONE)
Yes, it is.
I'm a full-time influencer now.
And I'd appreciate
a little more positivity.
You can't just make
these kind of decisions on a whim.
You need to talk to me first, Vanessa.
(SINISTER MUSIC PLAYS)
"Vanessa"?
I am "Mom," and you really
need to chill out and trust me.
I'm the adult.
(SIGHS)
Sure, Mom.
VAN: Sometimes you just gotta
tell them who the parent is.
Establish boundaries.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
(PHONE CHIMES)
-How much do you want for 'em?
-Two hundred.
Deal. If you can deliver it this Saturday.
Shoot, that's right before the game.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(VAN HUMMING)
-Hello.
-(SHUSHES)
ZANE: I love you, Chell-Chell.
Bye, Mom. See you at the game tonight.
ZANE: Play ball!
-ROCHELLE: Laurie?
-(GRUNTS)
ROCHELLE: Laurie.
This girl. Wait, where's my phone?
(GROANS) Don't tell me I
(SCREAMS)
4240 McDowell Road. 4240 McDowell
Or was it 43?
CHICKEN-KEV: Quack!
"Beware the chicken."
I'm here to meet BadBoy2023?
Quack.
Hey, wait. Can't we just meet out here?
(SIGHS)
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
(LAUGHS)
Popcorn love I'm gonna eat you up
Every night I wanna meet you up
Quack.
I wanna party tonight
Ain't no sleeping
Excuse me.
(GRUNTING)
Sorry, I'm on a job.
-Love your hair.
-(CHUCKLES)
-Thanks?
-Hey, Rochelle.
Oh, hey.
-Um, yeah. I got a thing.
-Cool, cool, cool.
I'll be back, though. (EXHALES)
Hey, Braids.
Yeah.
Wait, I've seen you guys.
At the softball park, right?
Yeah, you know me, I hang around.
It's like my outdoor office. Whatever.
All right. Come on. Let's see the goods.
-Cute color.
-BRIAN: Whoa!
-Those are so clean!
-CHICKEN-KEV: Quack!
BRIAN: Where'd you even find them?
They're sold out everywhere.
Yeah, I'm really lucky.
All right. Which of you has the money?
-Hey, what are you
-BRIAN: Okay, okay, relax.
-Look, we don't want your cleats.
-CHICKEN-KEV: Quack, quack.
Okay. Then why'd you waste my time?
I'm late for my game.
We've got something
that will solve all your problems.
You work at the snack shack, right?
-Yeah.
-Let us borrow your keys.
What?
-You're trying to make money fast, right?
-Right.
We use them, and return them to you
with your 200 bucks.
Boom! No harm, no foul. What do you think?
What? No. I'm not helping you steal.
It's no different than cheating.
-Oh, whoops. Sorry. I mean, "tutoring."
-Quack.
(RUMBLING)
(GASPS)
(PANTING)
(EXHALES)
Wow, that's actually really smart.
Which one of you came up with this scheme?
(INHALES) I don't like to brag,
but I mean
-Brian, please.
-CHICKEN-KEV: Quack.
What? That is not important, Kev.
(SPEAKING KOREAN)
CHICKEN-KEV: Quack, quack, quack, quack!
Found you.
You guys wanna play Smash or something?
BRIAN: Hey, stop! Get her!
She's gonna rat us out!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
-(GASPS)
-(TIRES SCREECH)
(GASPS)
(PANTING)
(ENGINE ACCELERATING)
ROCHELLE: Ah!
(SCREAMS)
(HORN HONKS)
No! No!
-CHICKEN-KEV: Quack!
-(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
-(THUDS)
-Oh!
-(SIGHS)
-(KEYS JINGLING)
(GASPS)
CHICKEN-KEV: Quack. Quack.
(ENGINE STARTING)
-(SIGHS)
-(CAR LEAVING)
(PANTING)
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)
-(HEART THUMPING)
-(BAT CLACKS)
PICKLES: (SINGING)
We are the Pickles and couldn't be prouder
If you can't hear us
We'll yell a little louder
(PANTING)
(SIGHS)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
-(LINE RINGING)
-Please, Mom, pick up the phone.
Please. Please.
Lately we been drifting
Messages are mixing now
Cut a hole in my pocket
And somehow let the sunshine out
Thought I saw you in the distance
Lost sight through the dark, dark cloud
If we're ships in the night then
throw me the rope before we go down
'Cause every moment I'm awake
I just need to see your face
I know it's a give and take
But right now I need you to stay
Could you meet me halfway?
Meet me halfway
I been lost in a daze
'Cause your love is a maze
Would you meet me halfway?
Meet me half, half way
The sound of the silence is starting
To drive me insane
Could you meet me halfway?
Can you still remember how we started?
You're still the only thing I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
(PHONE RINGS)