Blue Murder Motel (2026) s01e04 Episode Script

- Maude.
- Oh. Hello, Maxine.
- Hello. A few things for
you here, love.
'm just
not feeling them anymore.
- Oh, lovely.
- Mm. Italian.
So they should be priced
accordingly, not just to sell.
- Selling things is how
we raise money, Maxine.
- People always pay
for good quality, darling.
- Possibly not here, love.
- Ciao.
Hello again.
- Hello, love. Do you want
me to pick up some of that
jam Martin likes?
- Oh, yes please. We're almost out.
- OK. Will do.
I'll see you tomorrow.
- I'm looking forward to it.
- I made your favourite.
- Oh, lovely.
Hello?
Any reason you failed to stop?
- Oh my god.
Constable Haira, please.
He's still alive.
- And her?
Captions were made with
the support of NZ On Air.
- Do you guys want to
see something horrible?
So lame, it puts you off
ever wanting to stay here.
- Well, people don't go directly
to a website to book, do they?
- If you search Blue Motel,
the first thing that comes up
are stories of a dead dude
in a spa bath.
- That will pass.
- The internet is forever.
I'll do it.
- Do what?
- Turn this crap website
into a good one.
For reasons of self-interest and
saving the job I need to keep.
- Sure. Fine. Go for it.
- Just run your ideas past us first.
- Yeah, I was having breakfast
when I saw this message.
It was from Maude's phone.
- 'Hugh, we've decided
we can't live with it.
'Please make sure everyone
understands why we did
what we've done.'
What's the 'it'
they can't go through with?
- Martin.
He was diagnosed with terminal
cancer not so long ago.
He has a year, at best, to live,
so I've been helping them
organise their affairs.
- So, you read the text this
morning?
- I tried calling Maude. No answer.
Martin ― no answer.
So I just jumped in my car.
- Hello, this is Constable
Jamie Haira.
- Pamela Owens.
I'm looking for Maude.
Why is a policeman
answering her phone?
- Oh, hello.
- I have a reservation.
- Great. What name is it under?
- You OK?
- No, no, I'm not.
I've just had some terrible news.
- What are you doing?
- There was a woman crying.
- What woman?
- She just showed up bawling
her eyes out in reception.
And now she's checked into Unit 2.
- Why?
- Probably because it's the only
room that's been serviced.
- Saffron, why was she crying?
- That is what
I'm trying to find out.
So, if you just―
- Amateur.
Watch and learn.
This girl needs a prop. Wait.
- A prop.
I should have thought of that.
- Oh, thank you for this.
- Oh, you're so welcome.
- Where would you like these?
- Just anywhere.
- Hey. Is, um, everything OK?
I, um, bought some lavender tea.
The best thing when you're feeling
a little bit out of sorts.
- 'm sorry.
- No. I can go
and get peppermint tea.
- No, it's just that
my friend Maude,
uh, she always swore
by lavender tea.
- Yeah. She does.
You know Maude?
- Look, I was just pulling in
here when I was told that―
that she's died.
- Maude's dead?
I only spoke to her yesterday
at the charity shop.
- Oh, that Maude.
- Um, the cop's here.
- Suicide pact.
- Huh?
- Do you guys know
Maude and Martin Bromley?
- Only her.
Sorry, sorry.
They're both dead?
- Maude definitely.
Um, Martin didn't look too flash
as he was taken away in the ambo.
Hey, do you remember what you
said to me the first day we met?
- About the board shorts
with the uniform?
- No, about instinct
being number one.
- That sounds like
something I would say.
- Yeah, well, my instinct's
telling me something's not right.
- For what reason?
- Suicide pact, my arse.
- That reason.
- There is no way that the lovely
Maude would have killed herself,
OK?
Why?
- Well, the text said it was
because Martin was nearly dead.
- No, no, no,
that doesn't make sense.
Pam just told me that her and
Maude had VIP passes to the
garden show tomorrow.
They've been looking forward to it.
They spent a fortune on it.
Who kills themselves a day
before the garden show?
But she was fine.
- We're doing this, aren't we?
- I bags the scene.
- Guess I'll take the victim then.
I'll stay in the background.
- I'm cool with you being
in the foreground.
Mr Bromley.
Constable Jamie Haira.
- Why am I here?
- You took poison, sir.
- I took
- Poison.
Where's Maude? I wanna talk to her.
Maude didn't make it.
I'm sorry, but your wife is dead.
- You were both found on your bed,
Mr Bromley.
- Maude's dead?
- From the poison.
- That you both took.
- Why do you keep saying tok?
- There was a message about you
both wanting to end it all.
- End what all?
- It.
Living.
- Mr Bromley. Martin, are you
saying that you and your wife
didn't have a suicide pact?
- What are you doing?
- Shit.
- Hi.
- You're one of the new
people at the motel.
- Helping the police
with the investigation.
I have a lanyard. Somewhere.
- Hugh Goodall, solicitor.
- Oh. Vinny.
- I'm just grabbing some things to
take to the hospital for Martin.
- If he makes it.
- Well, yeah.
You've got to live in hope.
- Still, it's a bad business.
- found them.
- Did you see it coming?
- Not in the slightest.
Nobody did.
- I remember Maude arriving home.
It was her day at the charity shop.
I'd made soup.
She seemed distracted.
Normally, she'd be telling me
all about her day.
The people who came
in and out, and stuff.
But yesterday, nothing.
I remember getting really tired.
Like a wave breaking over me.
I must have made it up to bed cos
you said that's where you found me.
- Do you remember Maude
coming to bed with you?
- No.
- I know this is not easy
to hear, but, um,
had Maude ever talked about
taking things into your own hands?
- Yeah,
yeah, we both had.
Theoretically.
When you're facing a death
sentence, hard to not have
those conversations.
- And where did Maude stand on
that?
- Well, lately, she started
talking about how horrible
it was going to be for her.
You know, watching me die.
Maybe in Maudeie's mind,
I was already dead.
- Oh, I love your work.
Cheers.
Apparently, Maude was thinking
about taking their own way out.
- Yeah, I found some stuff
about that.
- So Martin survived, but he
had no idea it was happening.
- So, suicide pact out,
attempted murder-suicide in?
- Any news?
- Well, Martin's pulled through.
Which is good.
- What about Maude?
- Still dead, I'm afraid.
- I mean, what's happening? Why?
- There's no way
it was a suicide pact.
- Well, things have
moved on from there.
- To where?
- Martin says he had no idea
what was happening.
- So Maude killed herself and
then tried to take him along?
Is that what's being said?
- It's a theory.
- My friend was the gentlest,
most loving person I know.
No. Not possible.
- Calling Maude a murderer.
Wow.
Poor form, Colemans.
- Yeah, I know.
- What would you do?
- I knew you were
gonna ask this question.
- So
if I was dying
- Well, I certainly
wouldn't kill myself.
- Well, do you want to have a
little think about your answer?
- Well, you know what they say
about fish in the sea, right?
- That they're endangered
because of overfishing.
What if we were really old?
- Hmm. I'd still be desirable.
- Well, that is true.
- Go to sleep.
Good morning, Pam.
How you feeling?
- I was thinking about going home,
but I really want to stick around
for Maude's funeral.
- Well, we're just heading up to
the hospital to talk to Martin
if you'd like to see him.
- Pass.
Martin and I have never
really seen eye to eye,
and I don't think that recent
events are going to change that.
- Fair enough.
- Don't get me wrong.
'll talk then.
- Team Maude.
- 100%.
They're letting you go?
- Oh. Not willingly. But no way
in hell am I hanging around here.
- Fair enough.
Uh, this is my wife, Vinnie.
She's also an ex-detective.
Also helping the police.
- Mr Bromley.
- Martin. Uh, I already
told your husband everything
'm sorry.
- So, you, um, heading home?
- Yeah, that's very much the plan.
- Oh, you probably
need a ride then, eh?
- Oh, much appreciated.
- So the, um, the wine
didn't taste unusual?
- One of the things about
cancer ― the treatment doesn't do
your taste buds anyfavours.
Oh. After you.
- Oh, cheers.
- What's all this?
- Chardonnay.
- Oh, Saffron. That's lovely.
Funnily enough,
that is my wine of choice.
- Yeah, I know.
I got it from your fridge.
Well, I need the photos
to look nice for the website.
And you've got the fancy shit.
- Well, yeah, that's true,
but still, I wish you wouldn't
just go into my room.
- How am I supposed to refresh your
towels if I can't go into your room?
- Hey, you know what'd
be actually really cool?
If the towels were swans.
Folded like swans on the bed.
- Why?
- Well, for the website.
When went to this
gorgeous hotel, and they folded
their towels into, like, swans.
And it was just very classy.
- I could probably
manage a jellyfish.
- Nobody wants
a jellyfish on the bed.
- That is exactly
what I said to my ex
when she tried to get revenge on
me with a blue bottle she found
on the beach.
- Well, OK― Do you want
to grab a drink with me?
I was going to meet up
with Pam at the wine bar,
but seeing as you've opened
up a very expensive bottle
of chardonnay
- I am on the clock.
- Come on.
Come on.
- Thanks for your help, Maxine.
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
Well, that's odd.
- Martin.
You're out.
- I am.
What are you doing?
- Uh, yeah. This needs
some explaining.
Uh, it's certainly not
what it looks like.
- Well, it looks like you're
stealing my vinyl, Hugh.
- Yeah. Less stealing your vinyl
and, uh, more keeping your pride
and joy out of harm's way.
- Oh, yeah? From what harm is this?
- Look, you're not
gonna like this, Martin.
Not so long ago, Maude came
to see me about her will.
- Our will.
- Her part of your will together.
She changed it.
- Changed it? How?
- Maude changed the beneficiary
of her half of everything.
- To whom?
- Hmm. Strictly speaking,
I should probably tell them first.
- Given the ongoing investigation―
- We can cut to the chase, Hugh.
- Pamela Owens.
- Pam, the gardening friend?
- Yeah, very much a shared passion.
And, well, I think the reason behind
the change, you see ― Maude felt
that you would die before her.
And she said that when she went,
she wanted this house
to go to someone that
would look after the garden.
- You're telling me that
half this house, my house,
now belongs to Pam Owens?
- Exactly.
I mean, when probate clears.
Martin, we can contest it.
t takes a
really, really long time.
- So what's up with
the records, then?
- He and I, we're both
collectors and, um, look,
I know what it means to him.
- So you're removing them from a
potentially ugly property split?
- Well, I was taking them off-site
for storage until the air clears.
- Even though, technically,
half of them belong to Pam.
- Yeah, well, legally, it's kind
of an intriguing grey area.
- Bull bloody shit.
They're not going anywhere.
You bring them back in here.
Pam's always wanted this house.
You know, she sat at that table,
and said as much on more than
one occasion.
I just thought she was joking.
What if she's not joking?
- So you think Pam might have
poisoned you and your wife?
- I wasn't here all day.
went into town to do some
business. The house was empty.
I decanted the wine in the morning
and the soup was sitting on the
stove. It's bloody possible.
And if it wasn't her
- Then who?
- Pam was on the road on the day of,
getting here.
She said she phoned Maude on the way.
- Maybe she was parked around
the corner, waiting for Martin
to leave the house.
- Why would she stay at the motel
and not here with her dear friend?
- Our awesome website?
- Well, she definitely
doesn't like Martin.
- Website's coming together.
- Oh, good.
- From certain angles,
this place looks almost exotic.
- I will have to take
your word for that.
Do you know if Pam's in her room?
- Uh, no.
She's gone to the pub for lunch.
Did Grace have something
to do with this?
- With what? And who's Grace?
- The Martin and Maude thing.
And Grace works at the pharmacy.
She's a total keyboard warrior when
it comes to this kind of stuff.
- This kind of stuff being
- Assisted dying.
End of life choice.
She's always posting these, like,
huge screeds about it online.
To be honest, I've never finished
one because they're really intense.
Hang on.
- I found this stuff
at Maude and Martin's house.
- It will have come from Grace.
- Gidday.
- Hey, I'm looking to rent
a room for a few days.
I'm not sure how many.
- Not a problem. Saffron here
will take care of you.
Welcome to Blue Motel.
- I love the leathers.
- Excuse me. Are you Grace?
- I am, and you're the woman
who owns the motel.
- Vinny Coleman.
These have anything to do with you?
- I heard you used to be a cop.
- I did.
- This about Maude and Martin?
- It is.
- So you're still a cop?
- My husband and I, we dabble.
Did― Did you give these to Maude?
- No, but I have
posted this stuff online.
Nothing wrong with that.
- Didn't say that there was.
Did you talk to Maude or Martin
about the right to die?
- When I heard about Martin.
Yeah. They were happy to talk and I
was happy to tell them their rights.
- OK.
If you don't mind me saying, you
seem quite young to be concerned
with thoughts of death.
- When you watch your grandfather
waste away to nothing,
begging to end it all,
and being told he wasn't
eligible to go peacefully?
Excuse me.
- The phone records came through.
On the day, Pam called Maude
three times, but the last time
was when I answered,
so it probably doesn't count.
- Any indication where
the calls were coming from?
- Uh, still waiting on the
cell tower triangulation thingy.
- Hi, Pam.
Do you mind if we join you?
- Oh. Go ahead.
What is this about?
- Have you spoken to Hugh yet?
- Who's Hugh?
- A lawyer in town.
- Oh, there was a message from
a solicitor's office on my phone,
but I didn't get back to them.
- All right. We should probably come
back once you've spoken to Hugh.
- He's going to tell
you that in her will,
Maude has left you
her half of everything.
- Define everything.
- House, property. Everything.
- Martin
must be thrilled
- He was still taking it on board.
- Oh my God. Does that mean that
I'm a suspect in whatever this is?
- No one is accusing anyone
of anything just yet.
- This is brilliant.
This is just brilliant
- I'll take care of this.
- I meant to be at a garden show
today with my best friend,
but she's dead because allegedly,
she had this insane idea about
killing herself and her husband.
And now I'm implicated.
Can you grasp why I might be
starting to be a bit concerned?
Oh, God.
- Was it you who put her up to it?
Was it?
- OK. Martin, mate. Give it a rest.
- Martin, I get it.
You almost died, and Maude's gone.
And now there's this nonsense
with the house.
- Yeah, but you're doing really
well out of it, aren't you?
- None of it had anything
to do with me.
- Well, convince your mate here,
huh?
- You all good?
- With a cup of tea
and a lie down, I will be.
- Hi.
- How did Pam take the news?
- Better than Martin.
There was an incident
on the way back.
Safe to say, there's no
love lost between those two.
- Enough for her to want to kill him?
- Maybe, but not Maude.
In fact, she seems far too
nice to kill anymore.
- You guys need to get out here now.
Now, come on.
- OK. OK.
- Oh, you just couldn't wait,
could you?
- Get over yourself.
It's in your head, you crazy bitch.
- You'd jump in her grave
just as quick.
- OK.
- That was awesome.
- She has always hated me,
that woman.
- I should have known she'd turn up.
- She poisoned Maude against me.
I know that for a fact.
- She's gloating, I bet.
Finally claiming her man.
- Martin and I are ancient history.
- Maude knew that they'd been
talking, but Martin always denied it.
- He's a friend. What is wrong with
being here to support a friend?
- I bet he called her
the moment Maude died.
She's always had this weird
kind of hold over him.
- I'm only here because of
what I read online.
- What online?
- That thing that
young woman posted.
The story of Martin and Maude.
- She makes them sound like
Romeo and Juliet.
guess he does
look a bit Leonardo.
- It's not exactly helpful, though.
- Or accurate.
- Grace doesn't care about accuracy.
She's all about the romance.
Love and death.
Plus, it's the internet. So what
does accuracy have to do with it?
- We've got a passionate
young person.
- With access to drugs.
- Hi, Grace.
Your boss said we'd find you here.
- No such thing as a break?
- We read your little missive.
- The romantic life and death
of Maude and Martin.
- I have the right
to say what I think.
- But not the right to give them
the drugs to go through with it.
- did?
- You tell us.
- Neither Maude nor Martin
ever approached me for help.
But if they had, I would have.
Any more questions?
- Cos you've got all the answers?
- It's Jamie. Tox report came back.
- I would have said that they
overdosed on Martin's pain meds,
but turns out what was in the
wine was a cardiac glycoside,
something called digoxin
or digitalis or other stuff.
There's a whole list of heart meds
that contain this stuff.
- And it was the wine, not the soup?
- Soup was soup.
The wine was lethal.
The fact that Martin only drank
half a glass saved him.
- Were Maude or Martin
on heart meds?
- No idea.
- It's probably worth finding out.
- Digitalis occurs naturally
in plants like foxglove.
- If you're of
the gardening persuasion.
- So, what questions
have you got for me today?
- We just want to check in after,
you know, earlier.
- Yeah. It wasn't my finest hour,
but I'm sure you can understand why.
- Maude's will was asurprise.
- Utterly. And yet, given Pam,
not, you know?
- How so?
- Well, Pam can be
really persuasive.
- Maude and Pam shared
a love of gardening, yeah?
- Yeah.
- I'd love to see this garden.
- Follow me.
- Actually, you mind if I use
the bathroom? I'll catch up.
- Yeah. Be my guest.
- Do you mind if I take some pics?
- Maude would like nothing more.
- Inspiration.
You, um, spoken to Estelle?
Just arrived.
Old friend of yours, I believe.
- Oh, yeah. A long time ago.
Yeah. She will have heard about
Maude. I guess she'll be in touch.
- Any foxglove in this garden?
- No, I wouldn't know.
- Do you know what digitalis is?
- Oh, I see where you're
going with this.
But the hospital was kind enough
to call me and tell me what it
was that almost killed me.
And just so you know,
I'm not on any heart medication.
- And you have no idea
how it ended up in your wine?
- None at all.
- So, you know anyone on heart meds?
- Hugh.
Although, he'd only want to
kill me for my record collection.
- Speak of the devil.
- Maude business?
- In a roundabout way.
Hugh just made me an offer
for my half of the house.
- Jesus. That was quick.
- Tempted?
- What he's offering?
Not even close.
- Hey, uh, Pam, as a gardener, do
you know anything about foxglove?
- Not a thing. Why?
- It's just something that came up.
- Sorry, I can't help you.
I'm all about the roses.
- Motive, mean, and opportunity.
- Maude, all three.
- Pam, all three.
Unless the phone records
put her elsewhere.
- Hugh? Probably all three, if
he's desperate for the real estate.
- Grace?
- Mm.
Means? Yes.
Motive? Yes, but nothing personal.
Probably opportunity.
- What about our new guest?
- Estelle?
Uncertain as yet.
Martin.
- It was actually a failed suicide
pact? So why lie about it?
- To make it look like one.
Dying man kills wife?
What's the point of that?
- You're a dying man.
Why the hell not?
- You have a dark side.
- Just one of the many,
many things you love about me.
- Time to stir things up.
- Yeah, well, I've offered
to buy Pam out.
Just hoping it might help Martin
not having to deal with her.
Poor guy's just got
so much on his plate.
I mean, he's dealing with
his cancer, and now this.
- Not to mention his wife lying
on the bed beside him, dead.
- did find them.
- You did.
- Why did Maude text you?
- I'm their lawyer.
I sort stuff out.
- But you're Martin's friend.
So why do you think he
just threw you under the bus?
- When he heard it was heart
medication that killed Maude,
almost killed him,
the first thing he said was
Hugh has heart meds.
- You do take heart pills?
- Yeah.
Why did Martin feel
the need to tell us that?
- Look, the way things sit
at the moment,
it looks like Maude and Martin
had this pact to die together.
- Martin failed at his end of things.
- Now he's looking at
a murder trial.
- Sure, it'll probably be
downgraded and he'll walk away.
- But is that how he wants to
spend the last year of his life?
In a courtroom?
- Can you understand, Hugh,
why Martin might want to shine
a little light someplace else?
- Have you asked him about the 50K
he took out of the savings account
as soon as he left thehospital?
And while you're at it, you might
want to ask him why he suddenly
needs a storage unit.
- Huh.
OK.
How about a pinball machine?
- In reception?
Hard no, babe.
Saffron's car smells funny.
- Oof. Do not investigate
the source.
- Oh, hang on, we have movement.
Rolling. Heading your way, I reckon.
- Copy that.
- OK.
He's arrived.
OK. He's going into the unit.
I'll give it a minute or two,
then see if I can get close.
Scratch that.
- Is that what the 50 grand was for?
- Maybe that's why he was hiding it.
Not his first time on a bike,
I'd say.
He was gone about an hour. Back into
his civvies, locked up his toy.
Then off to the real world.
- Hmm. Dead man riding.
- So Martin is a biker.
- Just like Estelle in Unit 4.
- To what do I owe the pleasure?
- Just a few more questions.
Nice bike, by the way.
- Oh, I don't even
care how you know.
Yes, I bought a bike.
miss riding,
so why the hell not take one
last lap around the motu?
- And will Estelle Perry
be joining you on this lap?
- Really none of your business.
- But she's in the picture.
- She's an old friend.
- Dutifully waiting at the motel
until it's safe for the two of you
to ride off into the sunset.
- How I choose to spend my last days
is nobody's business but my own.
Please leave and don't return.
You're not even a real cop anymore.
- But I do know a real criminal
when I see one.
- Afternoon.
Travelling.
Good catch up with Martin, was it?
- What?
- Just, um,
just a few quick questions.
- Starting with are you
an accessory to murder?
Did you provide Martin Bromley with
the pills he used to kill his wife?
- I have nothing to say.
- Tale as old as time, really.
- It's Romeo and Juliet for
the Twilight set.
- A dying man, an old flame
that still burns.
Off the wife, hit the road.
- And down the track, he changes
his will to leave you everything.
- Except Maude blew a big hole
in that by leaving her half of
everything to Pam.
- So, what's the plan now, Estelle?
Now that you and Martin have
had a chance to catch up?
- You're so wrong.
- Oh, hey, listen.
Always willing to be proven wrong.
- I love Martin.
Maude got him first.
Being a dude, it took him a
while to figure out she was
a passive-aggressive cow,
all the time everybody was
thinking she was so lovely.
They were perfect together.
It was the opposite.
I wouldn't be surprised if
she gave him the damn cancer.
- So when did you decide to kill her?
- I never decided anything.
- When did Martin decide to kill her?
- I'm not saying anything else.
I owe him that much.
- Estelle, your pills were used
to poison Maude Bromley.
Whether you provided them or not.
- Just tell us, Estelle.
- Every now and then, me and Martin
would sneak a weekend together
when Maude was at one of
her garden shows.
It was after one of those weekends
at my place that I discovered my
six month prescription ofHerzogin
was gone, along with Martin.
- OK, so did you ask him about it?
- I'm not the boss of Martin.
No, I didn't ask him.
I thought it was for when
the cancer got too much.
Not for when his wife got too much.
- So that's your story
and you're sticking to it?
- Yeah.
- Would you mind repeating it
as a statement of fact for
this officer right here?
- Why is Jamie here?
- Oh, let's just say there's
been a development in the
case of Maude and Martin.
- Well, is it important, then,
that Pam has just left to go
and see Martin?
- Apparently he called her.
Wants to make things right.
- Right.
- Pam. Thank you for coming.
- Always willing to talk, Martin.
- Garden.
Do not drink that wine, Pam! Pam.
- No. I wasn't planning to.
I don't drink alcohol.
- Of course you don't.
- Which you would know if
you'd ever paid any attention
when I was visiting Maude.
- Why'd you take the glass then?
- Because I'm polite.
I was just going to stand here
and hold it.
Just as well, it seems.
- Martin. We've spoken to Estelle.
- She's not happy you dragged her
into all of this.
- I know. She's ended it with me.
We were going to spend
the rest of my life together.
Then I could leave her
all this to say thank you
for being my one true love.
Stupid me.
Living in the past.
- Why didn't you just leave Maude?
Why did― Why'd you have to kill her?
- The rest of the world loved Maude.
But I fell out of love with her
many years ago.
The only time I was ever happy was
when I was able to spend time with
Estelle.
But when you realise
you have nothing,
it's only a short step to
nothing left to lose.
The research was easy.
Estelle's meds seem like the most
peaceful way to make it happen.
- You monster!
- Monster is right.
Sitting there watching your wife
enjoying the dinner her loving
husband had prepared for her
- And waiting for the
poisoned wine to do its thing.
When Maude started to feel
unwell and took herself
upstairs to lie down,
that's when you knew
your plan was working.
- And there was no going back.
Right, Martin?
All that was left to do
was plant the end of life
literature you printed out.
- Oh, and drink your glass of
Herzogin and merlot, of course.
Bit of a risk
taking the poison yourself.
- But you'd done the research.
Half a glass. No more, no less.
So then you find Maude's phone,
send the text to Hugh
- And then you lie down next to your
wife, who was probably already dead.
- The whole idea was to make
this look like Maude's doing.
- That was his mistake.
Idiot.
The idea that Maude couldn't live
a day without you.
She was counting the days.
- No.
- Oh, yes.
- Why didn't she just leave me,
then?
- Cos you were dying,
and she's a decent person.
We were going to go to Japan.
Watch the cherry blossoms.
- Murder's never the answer, mate.
Well, enjoy the house
and the bloody garden.
This is Martin. Over and out.
- Stop! Stop! Stop!
- No, no, no, no!
- Well, that was a lovely ceremony.
- I'm just sorry Martin couldn't be
there to hear how loved Maude was.
- Yeah. And for a dying man,
he has the constitution of an ox.
- Cheers.
- The great work is complete.
- Ooh.
Wow. This is great.
- Saffrom, you have a gift.
- I'm wasted in motel cleaning.
- Your talents do lie elsewhere.
- Oh, wait. Go back?
Aw. Lose this page?
- Why? You both look great.
- No. Delete, Saffron.
- Come on.
You two are very photogenic.
- No, we just prefer to not be
- OK, well, the website's already
live.
- Nah, nah, take that one down.
Lose that page.
- And then you can put it back up.
- You guys on the run or something?
- Something dodgy, but sure.
Done. Weirdos.
- Not weird, thank you. Just shy.
Half a day. Shouldn't be a problem.
- Yeah, it'd be bad luck.
Nah. We'll be fine.
We'll be fine.
I do not love running.
- Well, it could be worse.
You could be one of the party
animals from unit two last night.
- Oh. No. Ow.
- Sheesh. Who died?
- The woman in Unit 11, actually.
- I'm sure this is not in
my job description.
But I'm so here for it.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Tell me the truth.
Are you guys in witness protection?
- Apparently, you're failed cops.
- Retired.
- Yeah. Retired.