Boarders (2024) s01e04 Episode Script
Exeat
All I'm saying is be careful, yeah?
Cos, every now and then,
man needs to cut things out
the circle like cancer, bro.
You get me? Be vigilant, fam.
Cut the grass, there's snakes
in the grass, you gotta cut that.
You get me?
PHONE VIBRATES
All right, so listen, yeah?
They've got this new dessert place
on the high street
that I want us to check.
Also, everyone keeps
Yo. Yo, slow down, bro.
What, fam? I only got you for
two days. I know. I know.
That's why I think we should do
something
a little more low-key, innit?
Watch a movie, grab some popcorn,
I don't know,
bring the mattress into the front
room or something.
No, fam, that's dead! Am I five?
Bruv, I'm not on the gallivanting
thing, yeah?
But, bro,
you ain't seen anyone in a minute.
I can invite Malachi.
Yo, chill out,
or else I'm not coming, yeah?
Fine, whatever. See you in a bit.
HE SIGHS
Wagwan. What, you going home
for exeat this weekend, yeah? Um
What time you leaving? Why?
Cos I need to come with you so I can
jump through the barriers, innit?
Yeah, I'm not heading back any
more.
My next Raisinettes challenge
awaits.
Dope, that's sick!
So, I can have your ticket?
It's an open return, so I'll
probably use it some other time.
All right, cool.
Oh, and next time you open the door,
bro, put some drawers on, man.
That's crazy. Don't knock on my door
like you're the police, then!
Oh, shit! We thought everyone
had left for exeat.
You know, when school closes
and everyone's supposed to
fuck off home?
Chip-chop!
Look, why don't you just come
to mine for exeat weekend?
It's my dad's birthday.
Well, sorry, but I hate dads,
and birthdays, so
They'll leave us to get on with it.
Also, don't you think it's a bit too
soon to be meeting parents?
It'll be two days of nonstop,
uninterruptedconsummating.
OK, all right, all right,
I'll come,
as long as you promise never to say
the word consummating again.
It's weird, it is.
Consummating.
Ahem! Can you get the fuck out,
please?
You have to make sure that, when
you're there, do not use any teeth
and remember to lick your finger
and rub the gouch.
I don't know why,
but boys love that shit.
What the hell is a gouch?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You think
we'll be needing all of them?
You two better screw.
If you come back with
the "we just snuggled",
I'm kicking you in the vagina.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Come in! Abby!
Abby, you absolute queen!
I could just kiss you forever
and ever and ever and ever!
Have you seen
how many people have signed?
Fucking hell! Fucking Abby.
I lead, people follow.
I'm a big fucking deal. Thank you.
Oh, my God.
I know I'm jumping the gun,
but I think there's enough on there
to get Bernard to listen about
getting the portrait taken down.
What do you think?
Oh, you know what?
Uh-uh-uh-uh, rewind, we
can talk about it in the car.
Also, this weekend is not gonna
be just about this.
We are gonna have a lot of fun,
too.
And
Condoms?!
You're not gonna be needing those.
Um, this all sounds really fun,
Mabel, it does, but I just, um
I, um What's up? I just
She needs to help a friend. Mm-hm.
Who is highly frustrated
and needs a helpinghand. Oh.
The petition stuff can wait.
Right?
Oh, right, OK.
PHONE VIBRATES
Gotta go.
OK, so where are we meeting?
Don't hate me, but I'm actually
heading back to London to see Mum.
OK, but we always hang out
on the first exeat.
Yeah, I know,
but she just really misses me.
She's just rattling around in
that house on her own.
Maybe the two of you could do
something.
Rupert's dad bailed on him again
and he's refusing to come home
with me, so might have to keep him
company.
Bye.
Look, I've got to go,
but I'm at my car.
Speak to you guys later.
Guess it's just me, then.
B! Yo, B! What?
Are you going back to London?
Yes. Why?
Come on, don't make me beg.
Beg? You haven't asked.
All right, cool.
Can I get a lift back to London?
Please?
Well, do you have petrol money?
I'll just jump off at Chelsea
or Knightsbridge,
or whatever fancy place you live.
Ha!
Well, hurry up!
You serious? Yeah. Don't lie. Yeah?
Yes.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you so much.
I'll grab my shit,
I'll be right back.
You're the best.
This is why you're my G.
I'll be back.
I'm going to grab my shit. Yeah!
Nah, Dad, probably pheasants
and grouse and stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, mate, forget my sunnies.
I gotta go. Er
I'm about to jump in the car. Bye.
Yeah, honestly, mate,
you'dfucking hate it, you know?
It's just a bunch of posh pricks
talking to other posh pricks
about posh prick stuff.
We all hate it.
Still sounds fun.
Come on, don't make me feel like
a knob, mate.
Yesterday, it was cool that
I was coming.
Now that your mum's here,
it's a problem.
You know, you
sound like a nagging wife.
Have my Only Fans account login.
Wank yourself crazy.
Toby!
Oh, hey, um Yelena.
Yelena.
You all right? How you doing?
Good, thanks.
Just heading home for the weekend.
Good to be back with some creature
comforts, am I right?
Right.
I wanted to talk to you
about the drugs you sold me.
Yeah?
They were fake. What?!
Fake, as in they weren't real.
But they were real.
Straight from the Colombians.
Abby told me.
She thought it was funny.
I don't. I want my £300 back.
I wish I could, but I ain't got it.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's not really my problem.
If you can make sure you
have it by Monday.
Monday.
Definitely Monday.
Great.
Right, update. Can it wait?
Well, I'll just take a little
look at my notes.
Yes, so everybody definitely
still hates you. Wonderful.
Apparently you advised Stanley
to install extra security cameras.
Students are wondering whether
they're in a school or a prison.
Did you see the monstrosity
they painted on the playing fields?
Carol sent me
1,000 emails about it.
Everyone should count themselves
lucky they're not being tagged.
Well, Leah's petition is
building up some momentum.
Almost enough signatures to bypass
you and go straight to the board.
Why don't you both have
an exeat weekend as well?
We can talk when you're back.
Everyone needs a break.
Well, there's quite a lot to do
What I would say is that
Fully paid. Ah.
Have a lovely weekend. Yeah.
Mwah, mwah.
Ah, you look after yourself,
won't you, yeah? Take care.
Hey, Dad. Hey.
Fancy hanging out?
Yes. Why not? Cool.
# This is your life
# Open free and chase your dreams
# Don't be afraid to fly #
I just need to make a quick stop.
All I'm saying is be careful, yeah?
Cos, every now and then,
man need to cut things out
the circle like cancer, bro.
Beans? You get me? Be vigilant, fam.
Cut the grass, there's snakes
in the grass, you gotta cut that.
You get me? Man's out.
What, am I chatting shit?
All I'm saying is, be careful,
innit? You get me?
Someone's loyal to you, yeah?
SHE SINGS ALONG WITH POP MUSIC
No.
MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
Sorry, we're not doing that.
First of all, not my style.
Second of all, vocals,
not your forte, so
Yeah, I wouldn't have
given you a lift
if I'd known that you were gonna
be on your phone the whole time.
If you just want my attention,
just say that.
I don't want your attention,
or I would have said.
Then what do you want, huh?
I want an apology,
that's what I actually want.
For? "For," he says.
For playing games with Florence
and I,
you know, one of my best friends?
That wasn't I didn't mean
That is a really, really
long-winded way to say sorry.
Sorry, wow.
You know, the way that
you treated us,
like we were your little playthings.
Playthings? Yeah.
"I've never seen black penis
before," that was you, right?
No You know, personally, I just,
I felt like a plaything, you know?
No, it's
I just I didn't know what
I just didn't mean it like
I just felt sexualised, you know?
Objectified, if you will.
Oh! Bullshit!
Listen, it was even on
school grounds.
I could've got you expelled,
but I'm ready to call it even.
There we go. Touche. Right
SHE SINGS ALONG TO POP MUSIC
Omar. Hey.
So, it was you who drew the cock
and balls?
It was a quill and ink pot.
Really?
OK.
Well, what did you do?
Oh, well, I drew on the whiteboards
in permanent marker, so
Right.
It's kind of shit, but, you know,
my older brother is a Raisinette,
so I think there's definitely some
nepotism involved,
but, you know, I kind of wanted to
do it for me, this one.
So, I think
that's what I'm gonna try and do.
Anyway, you wanna do the honours?
YeahI'm pretty sure there's
a dead body in there.
No worries, I've got it.
"Fuck with the status quo."
"You've shown creativity, but sheer
audaciousness is what we crave.
"For your next task, into Master's
house the two of you must creep.
"Within his bed chamber, there's
golden silken pyjamas one must seek.
"Capture yourself within them.
"Now go, you wretched beasts."
Ah, I think I'm gonna be sick.
No, trust me,
I live just down the road.
I'll grab a ladder, someone can ring
the bell and side-track him,
the other one can go up the ladder,
nab the pyjamas, put them on,
take a pic, put 'em back.
Boom, we're done.
This isn't your first rodeo, is it?
We might need to link up later.
Do you wanna just give me the
details? Yeah. Yeah.
Cute pic.
So, I'll see you later?
Looking forward to it.
# Your song is playing
all the frequencies
# I'm all about
what you've been telling me
# Cos you can guide me to the skies
above #
Toby, hey! I thought it would just
be all the international students.
Have you moved on from Abby?
What do you know about Yelena?
She'snice.
What does that mean? Well, um
Well, Goodlow ain't been the same
since.
Mrs Goodlow?
How come she didn't get expelled?
I mean, nobody saw her do it,
but there was dried blood
on her hockey stick.
Fuck!
Why?
I owe her, like, £300,
which I ain't got,
and she wants it on Monday. Ah.
This is so dumb!
I did all this to impress a girl
that clearly thinks she's above me,
then she goes and snitches on me,
and now I've gotta deal with
all this shit.
Sorry, dude.
You wanna hit this?
Might take the edge off.
Is that weed? Sh.
Tosh, yeah.
All right, then, it's been great.
Thank you very much and bye-bye.
Jaheim, can I come up?
I'm bursting for the loo.
Oh, yeah, say nothing, there's
a tree over there, up there, man.
Jaheim, stop!
I drove you to your front door.
Look, my house isn't really suitable
for visitors right now, so
If I wet myself
HE CHUCKLES LIGHTLY
Fine. All right, cool.
Say nothing. Let's go.
HE SIGHS
You get Toby's message?
Do you want to go?
I thought you hated parties.
I do
..but you look miserable as shit.
I think this twist will pick you up.
You need to stop being
so nice to people.
Thanks for the life advice.
Do you want to go, or don't you?
Mm, yes!
Some of the Japanese lot are in.
Sweet. You got the oil?
Dozo. Arigato.
HE SNIFFS
I wonder
if there's any vanilla essence.
This Nigella one says it's
the vanilla that makes it.
We're cooking weed brownies,
Tosh, so I can pay Yelena back.
We're not opening a flipping
patisserie.
Let's do this!
MUSIC: Never Gonna Stop
by Two Hidden Labs
# Like you're never gonna stop
# Drop it down and shake it
# Like you're never gonna stop
# Never gonna stop
# Never, never gonna stop #
Konnichiwa!
Hiya, you all right?
Big money's a priority, obviously,
but let's not oversell, all right?
We don't want to be calling an
ambulance
because someone's pulled a whitey.
Yeah, cool.
OTHERS CHATTER INDISTINCTLY
Is this the room depression built?
HE SNICKERS
Good vibes only in here,
after you've had this brownie.
The first one is free,
and after that a tenner each.
ALL GROAN, COMPLAIN
Why are you lot moaning?
You lot are rich!
Lost your way to the bathroom, then?
This is why you didn't want to
let me into your house.
Now, I thought
Bot Battles was nerdy,
but this,
this is on a whole new level. Yeah?
Yeah. Is your Transformers
bedspread in the wash?
SHE CHUCKLES
Fuck off, dickhead.
You fuck off, dickhead.
I'm going to say three things
real quick.
One, Beatrix, you can
do better than this waste man.
Two, that posh yoghurt is banging,
more of that, please.
And three, Grandma don't allow
fornification in her yard,
so I suggest you stop.
Brudda, move, man.
Go get Grandma, move, bruv!
I think we should go.
Yeah. Yeah, let's go. Yeah? Yeah.
After you. Mm, thank you.
Yo, Caleb! Where'd you get the
money to put on the meter?
Malachi gave me some this morning.
Yeah, thanks for the lift, but
Sending me packing already?
Have to go and see my boy -
something to sort out.
I was hoping you were going to take
me on an Endz experience.
What?
You know, a trip to a chicken shop,
Footlocker, Jammer's Basement.
I've come all this way, Jaheim.
I think that deserves a little jaunt
round South Eazy, don't you?
Er
Why not? Yes! OK.
Mm.
Wow.
This is amazing, guys.
I'm guessing it's a
change from canteen food.
Literally, one more
piece of overcooked broccoli
and I'm going to kill myself.
ALL LAUGH
So, Leah, have you consummated
the relationship? Mumplease.
Leah hates the term consummate.
We haven't smashed yet,
but we're hoping to tonight.
ALL EXCLAIM
Why are you freaking out?
It's just casual convo.
Casual convo?
No, Koku, casual convo is,
"Hi, Dad, how was your birthday?"
Not, "We're coming to fuck each
other's brains out."
That's weird.
Trust me, it's not like that.
They're really chill. But, um
..tell me again about the part where
we fuck each other's brains out.
They've gone into town,
my dad wanted birthday ice cream,
so they won't be back for
a few hours.
MUSIC: Feeling Supernatural
by Simon Brown
# You were like, hey,
# How'd you like me like that?
# You're laying down
# But it's coming off flat
# Like, hey
# Why you acting like that?
# Laying down,
kiss your mum with that mouth #
Shall I get a condom?
Erm, yeah, OK, cool
# And just don't bother
# Cos there's some things
# That I'd just rather miss now
# So the next time
you're lonely #
Shit.
Um, I've got some in my bag.
At the front. Oh. Yeah.
# I'm feeling supernatural #
I don't think my parents will be
gone for that long.
THEY CHUCKLE
# I'm feeling supernatural
# Hey, how'd you like me like that?
# I hit the town and I
ain't looking back
# So, hey,
how'd you like me like that?
# We're cruising 'round,
got the pedal down flat
# I've been feeling
oh so marvellous #
Do you want me to put it on?
No, it's fine. Are you sure?
Yeah.
Go on.
It's just a bit fiddly.
HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY
Oh.
# You won't find me begging now
# I'm feeling supernatural
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh #
You're so gorgeous,
did you know that?
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
# I'm feeling supernatural #
What are you doing?
I told my dad I was pheasant
shooting with Cheddar and the boys -
he's begging me for pictures.
How long are you going to keep this
up, Femi?
Keep what up?
Jumping through hoops,
it just seems exhausting.
I promised my dad
I would do well here.
If I don't, it's Nigeria.
My brother keeps
sending me messages -
he fucking hates it.
I refuse for that to be me.
But you wouldn't understand.
I had to redo my last essay,
even though even though Miss
Falconer refuses to count my mark.
Now I've got to somehow figure out
how I'm going to make it up
and there's a chance
I could get sent home.
So, yeah, I do know.
Sorry for being such a knob
since we got here.
PHONE BUZZES
Anyone interesting?
Dilton.
We're supposed to meet up
later for something.
OK, no, cut that out.
It's not like that.
Oh, you sure about that?
It's not like that.
Oi, can I?
"Looking forward to tonight.
"Celebratory drinks after?"
Three questions marks,
clinking champagne emoji,
and a kiss, uppercase!
OK, OK, OK. Real question is,
have you met anyone?
I'll pay good money to have a
girl touch my penis.
You're desperate, bro.
I'm being serious! I know I'm poor,
but I'll find the cash.
But Dilton's nice.
It wouldn't hurt to see
if there's something more.
Mm? Put something nice on,
maybe a bit of fancy aftershave.
Two squirts on your neck,
one on your crotch.
No, that's out of pocket.
No, that is way out of pocket.
I'm not
I'm glad we got to spend the weekend
together, it's nice.
Yeah, I guess.
Come here.
It'd be nicer
if these things had anything in 'em.
Oi, scholarship,
I can't feel a thing!
I want my money back, come on.
Tosh? Er Yeah?
Where did you get this stuff?
My brother's bathroom.
It's medicinal -
to treat his epilepsy.
Medicinal, Tosh? Hmm.
Tosh, you can't get high
off medicinal weed.
Why are you only telling me
this now?
Well, we were having so much fun
and it took your mind off
Yelena breaking your kneecaps!
We're fucked! I'm fucked!
Why don't we just do some shrooms?
OK, so it's looking like it's
in between What's In What You Eat
No, thanks, I prefer to
remain in blissful ignorance.
Ah.
..or Gogglebox.
BOTH: Gogglebox.
TV STARTS UP
Ooh, Dad
Yes, darling?
Oh, my God! Dad, you didn't.
Well, try it and see if I did.
Mm-hm. Wow.
Yeah?
Just like Mum used to make.
You know your nose twitches
when you're lying?
SHE CHUCKLES
It's nice.
But? It's a bit salty. Salty.
Ah.
Why are you always so heavy-handed?
Well, because your mother
always used to say
whenever she ate my food it
never tasted of anything.
I can order in a Chinese. No.
Thanks, Dad.
This is lovely.
I feel like I need to learn
more stuff like this.
What, how to make good food
inedible?
No, like, cooking traditional foods,
being more cultured.
"Know your tings-dem",
as Leah would say.
Leah, huh? Yes.
Dad, she's actually really sweet.
She's not very tactful, but
that's just cos she's passionate.
She's genuinely trying to change
a few things in a positive way.
Maybe you should sit down
and talk to her.
Ah.
Yeah, now I get it.
So, that's what this bonding day was
all about, a little ploy to get me
onside with your new friendship
group of Facebook philosophers?
This isn't just about Leah,
it's about me as well.
I know that.
I don't think you do.
It's a portrait, just take it down.
The scholarship kids need to
fit in with the school,
not fit the school around them.
And every time they do something
which draws attention
to themselves, it gives
people like Carol ammunition -
people who want them, and me, out.
And if I'm not here,
you're not here.
So, maybe just bear that
in mind next time you try
and dupe me into one of your
lectures.
I'm actually not hungry.
PHONE BUZZES
Hi.
Thanks for the invitation.
SHE LAUGHS
I didn't know I invited you!
You didn't.
I was being sarcastic.
I'm really high,
so I'm really struggling to pick
up on such subtle quips.
SHE SIGHS
THEY LAUGH
Having fun?
Thanks for the invite.
You're lucky I even invited you,
after you snitched me
up to Yelena and that.
She's a friend.
You were a fuck.
Were?
PHONE BUZZES
Where are you going?
I'm baked, I'm just going to get
a shower and go to bed.
I'll come. No, no, no, you stay.
No, it's fine. Have fun, yeah?
Question Mm-hm.
..what actually is corned beef and
why has your grandmother
requested so much of it?
Listen, yeah,
next exeat, you're giving me
the authentic preppy posh
experience, yeah?
The hot cross buns in the aga
and all of that.
Who says there's going to be
next time?
And you know I don't actually
live in Chelsea, Jaheim.
You seem so bougie though.
We don't have our shit
together as much as you think.
What do you mean?
This actually might be my last term.
Fees are a bit much for my mum.
Sorry. I
Oh! Shit!
Come here. Oh, they're new!
Well, this is fucking weird.
I guess it fucking is.
Yeah, yeah.
I was just looking forward to
seeing you, that's all.
Sorry.
Well, just let me
know next time you're over.
Yeah, OK. OK, bye. Bye.
Fuck!
Stop being fucking weird!
Sorry.
Oh, God. It's fine, it's fine,
just calm down.
No, no, no, no, we need
It's just blood, it's OK.
We need to keep it elevated.
All right?
Of course, doctor.
Right, hold that there. Yes.
You know, it's been such a privilege
to get to know you like this
..like, the real you.
The real me?
Prettysexy
..intelligent.
Well, what were you expecting?
I don't know,
you're not all like that.
I hope you're not talking about
black women. No.
As in Toby, Omar, Femi, Jaheim.
What, so you don't find Jaheim
pretty, sexy, intelligent?
Oh, shut up.
I meant I just avoid boys like
him, they're a walking problem.
He's just settling in.
Well, if you're not careful,
he'll become your problem.
I didn't mean to rattle you, sugar
boobies.
What?
Wait, sorry.
What did you mean by if I'm not
careful he'll become my problem?
Do you really want to do this now?
I'm just asking you a question.
Keep your head down, don't ruffle
any feathers, play the game.
You're so smart, smarter than
most of the people at St Gilbert's.
I've seen your potential.
Potential?
What am I, stocks and shares now?
That Jaheim guy is a risk and so is
all your bullshit with the portrait.
Have you even considered
the ramifications of? No.
And, let's be honest,
neither have you.
This is all performative at best
and you know it.
Wow.
I guess all skin folk
ain't kin folk.
Oh, please!
If you were truly for the cause,
why did you sack off your little
ally to come and get sexed up by me?
Well?
HE LAUGHS
PHONE PINGS
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck!
Can you take me to the station?
I've been drinking.
When?
I did a couple of vodka shots in the
bathroom before weyou know?
I was nervous, OK?
My parents can drop you
at the station,
they'll be back
in a couple of hours.
I'll just get a taxi.
You won't get one out here.
Why do you live in the middle
of fuck-where?
Is that an actual question?
I'll just walk then.
Nearest station is over an hour
and most of the route doesn't
have any footpaths.
Fuck.
It's not even that, though. It is.
You find your way back home then,
yeah?
Yo, what you saying, bro? Bro?
You weren't trying to check man.
Nah. Hold this.
Nah, bro. Of course I was trying to
check you, bro,
things just got a little hectic.
But anyway, bro, come on, man.
Thank you for putting that
stuff on the meter.
Find that laptop, yeah?
Bro, you know I wasn't myself.
I had stuff to deal with -
Caleb, Grandma, that Rupert ting.
Is that supposed to be some
sort of apology, G?
Listen, yeah? You just wouldn't
understand what it's like
Well, tell me what it's like then.
Bro? Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Tell me what it's like, innit?
Shit has just changed.
No, fuck that talk, Jaheim.
Look around you, fam.
Everything's the same, bruv.
You're the person that's changed,
my guy.
And you know what? This ain't
even about a flipping laptop.
What's that, a monkey?
Yeah? That's light.
This is about the fact that you seem
to think that everyone else
is the problem
when you're the fucking problem.
You get in your own fucking way,
you don't clean up your own mess
and then you want to call me
to sort it out for you!
What, then you want to turn round
and act like man's going to
jeopardise your ting?
Like you ain't my brother? Hmm?!
You know what, yeah?
It was good to see you, innit?
Mind how you go.
Bro, come on
It's calm.
It's calm.
Bye.
Wow! These streets are treacherous.
Is this a fucking joke to you?
No, I was just trying Beatrix!
The Endz experience.
I told you it was a bad
idea to come here.
And I know this might be like
Disneyland to you or something,
but this is my real fucking life!
You done?
Yeah, man, we're done.
KNOCKING
Thanks for coming to get me.
That's what friends are for, right?
Look, I know what I did was fucked
up and how I did you was cold,
but can we just, please,
talk about it later?
Ahem! Don't forget your ridiculous
amount of condoms.
Oh, you can keep 'em. You'll need
'em to go and fuck yourself.
Put your seat belt on.
Are you sure you don't want to
go to the San?
Or I could make a cheeky little 111
call. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
TV: That's the main thing, really,
and the fact that we did London to
Singapore. I'm happy.
Man, this is show is so cheesy.
Yeah, but you love it, though.
In 50 days.
PHONE BUZZES
TV: We've had a fantastic time
together.
We've bonded more than either of us
really expected. Definitely.
Ultimately, it were a success.
What we've seen and what we've
done along the way is priceless.
Before this journey, we were
estranged father and son, really.
Now we are father and son.
OK, maybe it's a little too soppy.
But I think now we are
friends as well.
Do I get a hug?
Are you crying? Nah.
Nah, I'm just high.
TV: What an amazing journey
it's been.
What a phenomenal time
we've had together.
I wouldn't change it at all.
Look who's here.
Hey, congratulations. Well done.
I'm not gay.
You're not my type.
THEY LAUGH
ALARM BLARES
HE COUGHS
HE COUGHS
Oh, no!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Brownies.
HE SNIFFS
HE CHUCKLES
Hello!
You left these in my car.
Look, Bea
Bea, am I dragging myself up these
stairs or what? Help, please.
See you around.
MUSIC PLAYS ON EARPHONES
It was my dad's birthday,
that was pretty cool,
and then I had this
one person over.
She literally had,
like, a grenade of condoms!
Why are boys so shit?
It's in their DNA.
I know you don't want to
talk about it, but it might help.
He called me performative. Who
doesn't like a performance in bed?
No, he was talking about
the portrait -
basically saying
I was putting on a show.
Maybe he's got a point.
I think it's ran its course now,
don't you?
But you signed it, so
Yeah, so you'd stop bugging me.
It's a new week.
Everyone's moved on, so should you.
Let it go, babes.
# Look at the mirror
# Can't you see it's getting late?
# What have I done wrong?
# When the deepest reflections
# Is a place where we went
# Take me down below
# When I can't see the day
# But I can feel it clearly
# Weighing on my buzz. #
Cos, every now and then,
man needs to cut things out
the circle like cancer, bro.
You get me? Be vigilant, fam.
Cut the grass, there's snakes
in the grass, you gotta cut that.
You get me?
PHONE VIBRATES
All right, so listen, yeah?
They've got this new dessert place
on the high street
that I want us to check.
Also, everyone keeps
Yo. Yo, slow down, bro.
What, fam? I only got you for
two days. I know. I know.
That's why I think we should do
something
a little more low-key, innit?
Watch a movie, grab some popcorn,
I don't know,
bring the mattress into the front
room or something.
No, fam, that's dead! Am I five?
Bruv, I'm not on the gallivanting
thing, yeah?
But, bro,
you ain't seen anyone in a minute.
I can invite Malachi.
Yo, chill out,
or else I'm not coming, yeah?
Fine, whatever. See you in a bit.
HE SIGHS
Wagwan. What, you going home
for exeat this weekend, yeah? Um
What time you leaving? Why?
Cos I need to come with you so I can
jump through the barriers, innit?
Yeah, I'm not heading back any
more.
My next Raisinettes challenge
awaits.
Dope, that's sick!
So, I can have your ticket?
It's an open return, so I'll
probably use it some other time.
All right, cool.
Oh, and next time you open the door,
bro, put some drawers on, man.
That's crazy. Don't knock on my door
like you're the police, then!
Oh, shit! We thought everyone
had left for exeat.
You know, when school closes
and everyone's supposed to
fuck off home?
Chip-chop!
Look, why don't you just come
to mine for exeat weekend?
It's my dad's birthday.
Well, sorry, but I hate dads,
and birthdays, so
They'll leave us to get on with it.
Also, don't you think it's a bit too
soon to be meeting parents?
It'll be two days of nonstop,
uninterruptedconsummating.
OK, all right, all right,
I'll come,
as long as you promise never to say
the word consummating again.
It's weird, it is.
Consummating.
Ahem! Can you get the fuck out,
please?
You have to make sure that, when
you're there, do not use any teeth
and remember to lick your finger
and rub the gouch.
I don't know why,
but boys love that shit.
What the hell is a gouch?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You think
we'll be needing all of them?
You two better screw.
If you come back with
the "we just snuggled",
I'm kicking you in the vagina.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Come in! Abby!
Abby, you absolute queen!
I could just kiss you forever
and ever and ever and ever!
Have you seen
how many people have signed?
Fucking hell! Fucking Abby.
I lead, people follow.
I'm a big fucking deal. Thank you.
Oh, my God.
I know I'm jumping the gun,
but I think there's enough on there
to get Bernard to listen about
getting the portrait taken down.
What do you think?
Oh, you know what?
Uh-uh-uh-uh, rewind, we
can talk about it in the car.
Also, this weekend is not gonna
be just about this.
We are gonna have a lot of fun,
too.
And
Condoms?!
You're not gonna be needing those.
Um, this all sounds really fun,
Mabel, it does, but I just, um
I, um What's up? I just
She needs to help a friend. Mm-hm.
Who is highly frustrated
and needs a helpinghand. Oh.
The petition stuff can wait.
Right?
Oh, right, OK.
PHONE VIBRATES
Gotta go.
OK, so where are we meeting?
Don't hate me, but I'm actually
heading back to London to see Mum.
OK, but we always hang out
on the first exeat.
Yeah, I know,
but she just really misses me.
She's just rattling around in
that house on her own.
Maybe the two of you could do
something.
Rupert's dad bailed on him again
and he's refusing to come home
with me, so might have to keep him
company.
Bye.
Look, I've got to go,
but I'm at my car.
Speak to you guys later.
Guess it's just me, then.
B! Yo, B! What?
Are you going back to London?
Yes. Why?
Come on, don't make me beg.
Beg? You haven't asked.
All right, cool.
Can I get a lift back to London?
Please?
Well, do you have petrol money?
I'll just jump off at Chelsea
or Knightsbridge,
or whatever fancy place you live.
Ha!
Well, hurry up!
You serious? Yeah. Don't lie. Yeah?
Yes.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you so much.
I'll grab my shit,
I'll be right back.
You're the best.
This is why you're my G.
I'll be back.
I'm going to grab my shit. Yeah!
Nah, Dad, probably pheasants
and grouse and stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, mate, forget my sunnies.
I gotta go. Er
I'm about to jump in the car. Bye.
Yeah, honestly, mate,
you'dfucking hate it, you know?
It's just a bunch of posh pricks
talking to other posh pricks
about posh prick stuff.
We all hate it.
Still sounds fun.
Come on, don't make me feel like
a knob, mate.
Yesterday, it was cool that
I was coming.
Now that your mum's here,
it's a problem.
You know, you
sound like a nagging wife.
Have my Only Fans account login.
Wank yourself crazy.
Toby!
Oh, hey, um Yelena.
Yelena.
You all right? How you doing?
Good, thanks.
Just heading home for the weekend.
Good to be back with some creature
comforts, am I right?
Right.
I wanted to talk to you
about the drugs you sold me.
Yeah?
They were fake. What?!
Fake, as in they weren't real.
But they were real.
Straight from the Colombians.
Abby told me.
She thought it was funny.
I don't. I want my £300 back.
I wish I could, but I ain't got it.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's not really my problem.
If you can make sure you
have it by Monday.
Monday.
Definitely Monday.
Great.
Right, update. Can it wait?
Well, I'll just take a little
look at my notes.
Yes, so everybody definitely
still hates you. Wonderful.
Apparently you advised Stanley
to install extra security cameras.
Students are wondering whether
they're in a school or a prison.
Did you see the monstrosity
they painted on the playing fields?
Carol sent me
1,000 emails about it.
Everyone should count themselves
lucky they're not being tagged.
Well, Leah's petition is
building up some momentum.
Almost enough signatures to bypass
you and go straight to the board.
Why don't you both have
an exeat weekend as well?
We can talk when you're back.
Everyone needs a break.
Well, there's quite a lot to do
What I would say is that
Fully paid. Ah.
Have a lovely weekend. Yeah.
Mwah, mwah.
Ah, you look after yourself,
won't you, yeah? Take care.
Hey, Dad. Hey.
Fancy hanging out?
Yes. Why not? Cool.
# This is your life
# Open free and chase your dreams
# Don't be afraid to fly #
I just need to make a quick stop.
All I'm saying is be careful, yeah?
Cos, every now and then,
man need to cut things out
the circle like cancer, bro.
Beans? You get me? Be vigilant, fam.
Cut the grass, there's snakes
in the grass, you gotta cut that.
You get me? Man's out.
What, am I chatting shit?
All I'm saying is, be careful,
innit? You get me?
Someone's loyal to you, yeah?
SHE SINGS ALONG WITH POP MUSIC
No.
MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
Sorry, we're not doing that.
First of all, not my style.
Second of all, vocals,
not your forte, so
Yeah, I wouldn't have
given you a lift
if I'd known that you were gonna
be on your phone the whole time.
If you just want my attention,
just say that.
I don't want your attention,
or I would have said.
Then what do you want, huh?
I want an apology,
that's what I actually want.
For? "For," he says.
For playing games with Florence
and I,
you know, one of my best friends?
That wasn't I didn't mean
That is a really, really
long-winded way to say sorry.
Sorry, wow.
You know, the way that
you treated us,
like we were your little playthings.
Playthings? Yeah.
"I've never seen black penis
before," that was you, right?
No You know, personally, I just,
I felt like a plaything, you know?
No, it's
I just I didn't know what
I just didn't mean it like
I just felt sexualised, you know?
Objectified, if you will.
Oh! Bullshit!
Listen, it was even on
school grounds.
I could've got you expelled,
but I'm ready to call it even.
There we go. Touche. Right
SHE SINGS ALONG TO POP MUSIC
Omar. Hey.
So, it was you who drew the cock
and balls?
It was a quill and ink pot.
Really?
OK.
Well, what did you do?
Oh, well, I drew on the whiteboards
in permanent marker, so
Right.
It's kind of shit, but, you know,
my older brother is a Raisinette,
so I think there's definitely some
nepotism involved,
but, you know, I kind of wanted to
do it for me, this one.
So, I think
that's what I'm gonna try and do.
Anyway, you wanna do the honours?
YeahI'm pretty sure there's
a dead body in there.
No worries, I've got it.
"Fuck with the status quo."
"You've shown creativity, but sheer
audaciousness is what we crave.
"For your next task, into Master's
house the two of you must creep.
"Within his bed chamber, there's
golden silken pyjamas one must seek.
"Capture yourself within them.
"Now go, you wretched beasts."
Ah, I think I'm gonna be sick.
No, trust me,
I live just down the road.
I'll grab a ladder, someone can ring
the bell and side-track him,
the other one can go up the ladder,
nab the pyjamas, put them on,
take a pic, put 'em back.
Boom, we're done.
This isn't your first rodeo, is it?
We might need to link up later.
Do you wanna just give me the
details? Yeah. Yeah.
Cute pic.
So, I'll see you later?
Looking forward to it.
# Your song is playing
all the frequencies
# I'm all about
what you've been telling me
# Cos you can guide me to the skies
above #
Toby, hey! I thought it would just
be all the international students.
Have you moved on from Abby?
What do you know about Yelena?
She'snice.
What does that mean? Well, um
Well, Goodlow ain't been the same
since.
Mrs Goodlow?
How come she didn't get expelled?
I mean, nobody saw her do it,
but there was dried blood
on her hockey stick.
Fuck!
Why?
I owe her, like, £300,
which I ain't got,
and she wants it on Monday. Ah.
This is so dumb!
I did all this to impress a girl
that clearly thinks she's above me,
then she goes and snitches on me,
and now I've gotta deal with
all this shit.
Sorry, dude.
You wanna hit this?
Might take the edge off.
Is that weed? Sh.
Tosh, yeah.
All right, then, it's been great.
Thank you very much and bye-bye.
Jaheim, can I come up?
I'm bursting for the loo.
Oh, yeah, say nothing, there's
a tree over there, up there, man.
Jaheim, stop!
I drove you to your front door.
Look, my house isn't really suitable
for visitors right now, so
If I wet myself
HE CHUCKLES LIGHTLY
Fine. All right, cool.
Say nothing. Let's go.
HE SIGHS
You get Toby's message?
Do you want to go?
I thought you hated parties.
I do
..but you look miserable as shit.
I think this twist will pick you up.
You need to stop being
so nice to people.
Thanks for the life advice.
Do you want to go, or don't you?
Mm, yes!
Some of the Japanese lot are in.
Sweet. You got the oil?
Dozo. Arigato.
HE SNIFFS
I wonder
if there's any vanilla essence.
This Nigella one says it's
the vanilla that makes it.
We're cooking weed brownies,
Tosh, so I can pay Yelena back.
We're not opening a flipping
patisserie.
Let's do this!
MUSIC: Never Gonna Stop
by Two Hidden Labs
# Like you're never gonna stop
# Drop it down and shake it
# Like you're never gonna stop
# Never gonna stop
# Never, never gonna stop #
Konnichiwa!
Hiya, you all right?
Big money's a priority, obviously,
but let's not oversell, all right?
We don't want to be calling an
ambulance
because someone's pulled a whitey.
Yeah, cool.
OTHERS CHATTER INDISTINCTLY
Is this the room depression built?
HE SNICKERS
Good vibes only in here,
after you've had this brownie.
The first one is free,
and after that a tenner each.
ALL GROAN, COMPLAIN
Why are you lot moaning?
You lot are rich!
Lost your way to the bathroom, then?
This is why you didn't want to
let me into your house.
Now, I thought
Bot Battles was nerdy,
but this,
this is on a whole new level. Yeah?
Yeah. Is your Transformers
bedspread in the wash?
SHE CHUCKLES
Fuck off, dickhead.
You fuck off, dickhead.
I'm going to say three things
real quick.
One, Beatrix, you can
do better than this waste man.
Two, that posh yoghurt is banging,
more of that, please.
And three, Grandma don't allow
fornification in her yard,
so I suggest you stop.
Brudda, move, man.
Go get Grandma, move, bruv!
I think we should go.
Yeah. Yeah, let's go. Yeah? Yeah.
After you. Mm, thank you.
Yo, Caleb! Where'd you get the
money to put on the meter?
Malachi gave me some this morning.
Yeah, thanks for the lift, but
Sending me packing already?
Have to go and see my boy -
something to sort out.
I was hoping you were going to take
me on an Endz experience.
What?
You know, a trip to a chicken shop,
Footlocker, Jammer's Basement.
I've come all this way, Jaheim.
I think that deserves a little jaunt
round South Eazy, don't you?
Er
Why not? Yes! OK.
Mm.
Wow.
This is amazing, guys.
I'm guessing it's a
change from canteen food.
Literally, one more
piece of overcooked broccoli
and I'm going to kill myself.
ALL LAUGH
So, Leah, have you consummated
the relationship? Mumplease.
Leah hates the term consummate.
We haven't smashed yet,
but we're hoping to tonight.
ALL EXCLAIM
Why are you freaking out?
It's just casual convo.
Casual convo?
No, Koku, casual convo is,
"Hi, Dad, how was your birthday?"
Not, "We're coming to fuck each
other's brains out."
That's weird.
Trust me, it's not like that.
They're really chill. But, um
..tell me again about the part where
we fuck each other's brains out.
They've gone into town,
my dad wanted birthday ice cream,
so they won't be back for
a few hours.
MUSIC: Feeling Supernatural
by Simon Brown
# You were like, hey,
# How'd you like me like that?
# You're laying down
# But it's coming off flat
# Like, hey
# Why you acting like that?
# Laying down,
kiss your mum with that mouth #
Shall I get a condom?
Erm, yeah, OK, cool
# And just don't bother
# Cos there's some things
# That I'd just rather miss now
# So the next time
you're lonely #
Shit.
Um, I've got some in my bag.
At the front. Oh. Yeah.
# I'm feeling supernatural #
I don't think my parents will be
gone for that long.
THEY CHUCKLE
# I'm feeling supernatural
# Hey, how'd you like me like that?
# I hit the town and I
ain't looking back
# So, hey,
how'd you like me like that?
# We're cruising 'round,
got the pedal down flat
# I've been feeling
oh so marvellous #
Do you want me to put it on?
No, it's fine. Are you sure?
Yeah.
Go on.
It's just a bit fiddly.
HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY
Oh.
# You won't find me begging now
# I'm feeling supernatural
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh #
You're so gorgeous,
did you know that?
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
# I'm feeling supernatural #
What are you doing?
I told my dad I was pheasant
shooting with Cheddar and the boys -
he's begging me for pictures.
How long are you going to keep this
up, Femi?
Keep what up?
Jumping through hoops,
it just seems exhausting.
I promised my dad
I would do well here.
If I don't, it's Nigeria.
My brother keeps
sending me messages -
he fucking hates it.
I refuse for that to be me.
But you wouldn't understand.
I had to redo my last essay,
even though even though Miss
Falconer refuses to count my mark.
Now I've got to somehow figure out
how I'm going to make it up
and there's a chance
I could get sent home.
So, yeah, I do know.
Sorry for being such a knob
since we got here.
PHONE BUZZES
Anyone interesting?
Dilton.
We're supposed to meet up
later for something.
OK, no, cut that out.
It's not like that.
Oh, you sure about that?
It's not like that.
Oi, can I?
"Looking forward to tonight.
"Celebratory drinks after?"
Three questions marks,
clinking champagne emoji,
and a kiss, uppercase!
OK, OK, OK. Real question is,
have you met anyone?
I'll pay good money to have a
girl touch my penis.
You're desperate, bro.
I'm being serious! I know I'm poor,
but I'll find the cash.
But Dilton's nice.
It wouldn't hurt to see
if there's something more.
Mm? Put something nice on,
maybe a bit of fancy aftershave.
Two squirts on your neck,
one on your crotch.
No, that's out of pocket.
No, that is way out of pocket.
I'm not
I'm glad we got to spend the weekend
together, it's nice.
Yeah, I guess.
Come here.
It'd be nicer
if these things had anything in 'em.
Oi, scholarship,
I can't feel a thing!
I want my money back, come on.
Tosh? Er Yeah?
Where did you get this stuff?
My brother's bathroom.
It's medicinal -
to treat his epilepsy.
Medicinal, Tosh? Hmm.
Tosh, you can't get high
off medicinal weed.
Why are you only telling me
this now?
Well, we were having so much fun
and it took your mind off
Yelena breaking your kneecaps!
We're fucked! I'm fucked!
Why don't we just do some shrooms?
OK, so it's looking like it's
in between What's In What You Eat
No, thanks, I prefer to
remain in blissful ignorance.
Ah.
..or Gogglebox.
BOTH: Gogglebox.
TV STARTS UP
Ooh, Dad
Yes, darling?
Oh, my God! Dad, you didn't.
Well, try it and see if I did.
Mm-hm. Wow.
Yeah?
Just like Mum used to make.
You know your nose twitches
when you're lying?
SHE CHUCKLES
It's nice.
But? It's a bit salty. Salty.
Ah.
Why are you always so heavy-handed?
Well, because your mother
always used to say
whenever she ate my food it
never tasted of anything.
I can order in a Chinese. No.
Thanks, Dad.
This is lovely.
I feel like I need to learn
more stuff like this.
What, how to make good food
inedible?
No, like, cooking traditional foods,
being more cultured.
"Know your tings-dem",
as Leah would say.
Leah, huh? Yes.
Dad, she's actually really sweet.
She's not very tactful, but
that's just cos she's passionate.
She's genuinely trying to change
a few things in a positive way.
Maybe you should sit down
and talk to her.
Ah.
Yeah, now I get it.
So, that's what this bonding day was
all about, a little ploy to get me
onside with your new friendship
group of Facebook philosophers?
This isn't just about Leah,
it's about me as well.
I know that.
I don't think you do.
It's a portrait, just take it down.
The scholarship kids need to
fit in with the school,
not fit the school around them.
And every time they do something
which draws attention
to themselves, it gives
people like Carol ammunition -
people who want them, and me, out.
And if I'm not here,
you're not here.
So, maybe just bear that
in mind next time you try
and dupe me into one of your
lectures.
I'm actually not hungry.
PHONE BUZZES
Hi.
Thanks for the invitation.
SHE LAUGHS
I didn't know I invited you!
You didn't.
I was being sarcastic.
I'm really high,
so I'm really struggling to pick
up on such subtle quips.
SHE SIGHS
THEY LAUGH
Having fun?
Thanks for the invite.
You're lucky I even invited you,
after you snitched me
up to Yelena and that.
She's a friend.
You were a fuck.
Were?
PHONE BUZZES
Where are you going?
I'm baked, I'm just going to get
a shower and go to bed.
I'll come. No, no, no, you stay.
No, it's fine. Have fun, yeah?
Question Mm-hm.
..what actually is corned beef and
why has your grandmother
requested so much of it?
Listen, yeah,
next exeat, you're giving me
the authentic preppy posh
experience, yeah?
The hot cross buns in the aga
and all of that.
Who says there's going to be
next time?
And you know I don't actually
live in Chelsea, Jaheim.
You seem so bougie though.
We don't have our shit
together as much as you think.
What do you mean?
This actually might be my last term.
Fees are a bit much for my mum.
Sorry. I
Oh! Shit!
Come here. Oh, they're new!
Well, this is fucking weird.
I guess it fucking is.
Yeah, yeah.
I was just looking forward to
seeing you, that's all.
Sorry.
Well, just let me
know next time you're over.
Yeah, OK. OK, bye. Bye.
Fuck!
Stop being fucking weird!
Sorry.
Oh, God. It's fine, it's fine,
just calm down.
No, no, no, no, we need
It's just blood, it's OK.
We need to keep it elevated.
All right?
Of course, doctor.
Right, hold that there. Yes.
You know, it's been such a privilege
to get to know you like this
..like, the real you.
The real me?
Prettysexy
..intelligent.
Well, what were you expecting?
I don't know,
you're not all like that.
I hope you're not talking about
black women. No.
As in Toby, Omar, Femi, Jaheim.
What, so you don't find Jaheim
pretty, sexy, intelligent?
Oh, shut up.
I meant I just avoid boys like
him, they're a walking problem.
He's just settling in.
Well, if you're not careful,
he'll become your problem.
I didn't mean to rattle you, sugar
boobies.
What?
Wait, sorry.
What did you mean by if I'm not
careful he'll become my problem?
Do you really want to do this now?
I'm just asking you a question.
Keep your head down, don't ruffle
any feathers, play the game.
You're so smart, smarter than
most of the people at St Gilbert's.
I've seen your potential.
Potential?
What am I, stocks and shares now?
That Jaheim guy is a risk and so is
all your bullshit with the portrait.
Have you even considered
the ramifications of? No.
And, let's be honest,
neither have you.
This is all performative at best
and you know it.
Wow.
I guess all skin folk
ain't kin folk.
Oh, please!
If you were truly for the cause,
why did you sack off your little
ally to come and get sexed up by me?
Well?
HE LAUGHS
PHONE PINGS
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck!
Can you take me to the station?
I've been drinking.
When?
I did a couple of vodka shots in the
bathroom before weyou know?
I was nervous, OK?
My parents can drop you
at the station,
they'll be back
in a couple of hours.
I'll just get a taxi.
You won't get one out here.
Why do you live in the middle
of fuck-where?
Is that an actual question?
I'll just walk then.
Nearest station is over an hour
and most of the route doesn't
have any footpaths.
Fuck.
It's not even that, though. It is.
You find your way back home then,
yeah?
Yo, what you saying, bro? Bro?
You weren't trying to check man.
Nah. Hold this.
Nah, bro. Of course I was trying to
check you, bro,
things just got a little hectic.
But anyway, bro, come on, man.
Thank you for putting that
stuff on the meter.
Find that laptop, yeah?
Bro, you know I wasn't myself.
I had stuff to deal with -
Caleb, Grandma, that Rupert ting.
Is that supposed to be some
sort of apology, G?
Listen, yeah? You just wouldn't
understand what it's like
Well, tell me what it's like then.
Bro? Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Tell me what it's like, innit?
Shit has just changed.
No, fuck that talk, Jaheim.
Look around you, fam.
Everything's the same, bruv.
You're the person that's changed,
my guy.
And you know what? This ain't
even about a flipping laptop.
What's that, a monkey?
Yeah? That's light.
This is about the fact that you seem
to think that everyone else
is the problem
when you're the fucking problem.
You get in your own fucking way,
you don't clean up your own mess
and then you want to call me
to sort it out for you!
What, then you want to turn round
and act like man's going to
jeopardise your ting?
Like you ain't my brother? Hmm?!
You know what, yeah?
It was good to see you, innit?
Mind how you go.
Bro, come on
It's calm.
It's calm.
Bye.
Wow! These streets are treacherous.
Is this a fucking joke to you?
No, I was just trying Beatrix!
The Endz experience.
I told you it was a bad
idea to come here.
And I know this might be like
Disneyland to you or something,
but this is my real fucking life!
You done?
Yeah, man, we're done.
KNOCKING
Thanks for coming to get me.
That's what friends are for, right?
Look, I know what I did was fucked
up and how I did you was cold,
but can we just, please,
talk about it later?
Ahem! Don't forget your ridiculous
amount of condoms.
Oh, you can keep 'em. You'll need
'em to go and fuck yourself.
Put your seat belt on.
Are you sure you don't want to
go to the San?
Or I could make a cheeky little 111
call. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
TV: That's the main thing, really,
and the fact that we did London to
Singapore. I'm happy.
Man, this is show is so cheesy.
Yeah, but you love it, though.
In 50 days.
PHONE BUZZES
TV: We've had a fantastic time
together.
We've bonded more than either of us
really expected. Definitely.
Ultimately, it were a success.
What we've seen and what we've
done along the way is priceless.
Before this journey, we were
estranged father and son, really.
Now we are father and son.
OK, maybe it's a little too soppy.
But I think now we are
friends as well.
Do I get a hug?
Are you crying? Nah.
Nah, I'm just high.
TV: What an amazing journey
it's been.
What a phenomenal time
we've had together.
I wouldn't change it at all.
Look who's here.
Hey, congratulations. Well done.
I'm not gay.
You're not my type.
THEY LAUGH
ALARM BLARES
HE COUGHS
HE COUGHS
Oh, no!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Brownies.
HE SNIFFS
HE CHUCKLES
Hello!
You left these in my car.
Look, Bea
Bea, am I dragging myself up these
stairs or what? Help, please.
See you around.
MUSIC PLAYS ON EARPHONES
It was my dad's birthday,
that was pretty cool,
and then I had this
one person over.
She literally had,
like, a grenade of condoms!
Why are boys so shit?
It's in their DNA.
I know you don't want to
talk about it, but it might help.
He called me performative. Who
doesn't like a performance in bed?
No, he was talking about
the portrait -
basically saying
I was putting on a show.
Maybe he's got a point.
I think it's ran its course now,
don't you?
But you signed it, so
Yeah, so you'd stop bugging me.
It's a new week.
Everyone's moved on, so should you.
Let it go, babes.
# Look at the mirror
# Can't you see it's getting late?
# What have I done wrong?
# When the deepest reflections
# Is a place where we went
# Take me down below
# When I can't see the day
# But I can feel it clearly
# Weighing on my buzz. #