Chainsmoker Cat (2026) s01e04 Episode Script
Nyaa no Mawari wa Henjin Bakari Nya
The vast, timeless river
flowing ceaselessly.
Just like the smoke of a cigarette.
There is no way any reasonable person
would toss a cigarette this long.
Hold on, I'm coming,
just give me a minute.
Hel--
Okay, here we go, Seven Star!
You're okay now.
You can thank me with cigarettes.
Thank you-- Your breath stinks!
Remember that urban legend about burgers
being made from beastfolk meat?
Yeah, like there was a long, clawed finger
or something!
Could you not talk about that
while we're trying to eat?
What is this?
What's up?
Is it a finger?
Big Sis?
What?
Someone take the cigarettes
away from that beastfolk part-timer!
Seriously, Yani Neko, you're a lifesaver.
I have two different deadlines
overlapping this week.
I thought I was going to die.
Leave it to me.
I bet there aren't a lot of assistant jobs
these days that would let you smoke.
I still do everything analog,
so I need my assistant
to work in the same room as me.
LEAVE IT TO ME.
Plus, you're easy to talk to.
That makes it so much more comfortable
for an introvert like me.
Don't hate me for saying this,
but I'm glad you got fired
from your part-time job.
I'll make sure you're well paid
for your time.
What's wrong?
Leave it to me!
Hey, looking good.
Keep that up, Yani Neko.
A FEW DAYS LATER
So this is your little sister?
Really?
She's cute.
Isn't she?
Yes.
Please don't do anything to her.
Then you know what to do, don't you?
Yes, ma'am.
Okay, so I bought some high school
uniforms online!
I mean, I totally don't care or anything,
but you said you wanted to make it up
to me for burning those layouts.
Although, seriously,
I totally don't care at all.
But you really got the goods.
You're perfect for what I had in mind
for my next hentai manga.
Having an actual adult woman
wearing it adds even more spice.
You're being creepy.
Shall we go outside then?
Why are you taking this outside?
My next hentai manga is going to feature
outdoor sex,
so I wanted to take some background
reference pictures as well.
Nice, now stick your butt out some more.
And swish your tail around invitingly.
Very nice! Yes!
Okay, let's have you lie down next.
Now act like someone
is about to violate you.
You don't look like you're in danger.
I know, how about we try ripping
your uniform and skirt.
Sensational!
Next…
There's no use resisting.
Is it hard for you to look distressed?
Then let's flip it around
and have you act like you want it instead.
I want it.
Yes, this is what I wanted!
Very nice! This is all gold, Yani Neko!
Nothing beats a smoke
after a hard day's work.
Let's keep this going and hit
an outdoor sex classic.
A public toilet!
Park sex in hentai manga
is dominated by the unhoused.
There's no avoiding
dirty public bathrooms.
Let's go then.
I hear they're releasing a new burger.
You're a public bathroom! Whip it out!
Just kidding.
What song is that?
That woman was wearing a school uniform,
so it wasn't her, right?
At 3:35 p.m., we apprehended a suspicious
beastfolk and her owner. Over.
Imoko?
Isn't that your sister?
No, my big sister
was turned into a hamburger.
Chainsmoker Cat.
You're a lifesaver.
Yani Neko's little sister
dragged her back home
when she bailed her out.
But I wasn't done taking reference photos.
You're a perfect fit, Kansai.
It's only because you begged me.
Although, why don't you do it yourself?
But you've got such a good figure.
Plus, my character
is more of the innocent type.
You're a much better fit than Yani Neko.
Yeah?
Okay, that should do.
It's finally over.
Could you stand straight for me?
Sure.
We'll be taking reference photos
for the sex scene next.
Get ready to make a face of a virgin
who's about to get her body wrecked.
Mercy, please.
Yes! That's the face!
This is gold! You dirty cat!
- Stop!
MAHJONG PARLOR
TEZUMARI
MAHJONG
Here is your strawberry milk.
You stupid fucking cat!
The hell are you doing?
You just dumped
the boss's strawberry milk all over him!
Cleaning a garb like that
doesn't come cheap!
Hey.
Keep your hand where it is, Katsurada.
Sorry, sir.
Katsurada, remember
what the boss always says?
Of course. Don't trouble civilians.
That's right.
I'm so sorry, Mr. Kazushi.
Don't worry about it.
We've known Yani Neko
since she was a tiny little thing.
She's like a daughter to us.
Just seeing her all grown up
makes me want to cry.
Isn't that nice, Yani Neko?
Now go on and apologize.
I'm truly sorry.
Boss, it's late.
We should get going, we have that
rookie of the year selection meeting.
Boss?
Hold on, Shibata.
Okay.
But, Boss, at this rate, these rookies
with promising futures…
Schwing!
Yannie.
You still working?
You promised you'd play
Nyan Revolution with me today.
Hey, Hame Neko.
Schwing!
Boss?
Actually, let's hang out here
a little longer.
I see.
So, he's into flat girls.
Chainsmoker Cat.
Do I have a bug on my face or something?
No, it's just my first time
seeing you actually read.
What kind of story is it?
It's a novel that was posted on Kakeyome.
Nice! I use that site a lot as well!
I didn't ask.
Is it interesting?
I'm just reading it to kill time.
It's getting a little boring
with all the exiling and starting over.
I totally get that!
Following a template is so crappy!
That's one of the downsides
of a rank system.
I suppose it's human nature
to follow trends
to get people to read your story,
but that means real creativity
is losing to the desire for approval.
To be honest, I find it impure.
They're not professional authors,
writing what they want to
is like the whole point
of online publishing.
Actually, I--
I mean, a friend of mine
writes a novel on Kakeyome.
I would love to get your opinion.
You're writing a novel?
- Yes!
No, my friend does!
The title is
"The Melancholy of Dragon Major."
The goal was to create
a true fantasy story.
Just so you know, "Major" is an occupation
in the fantasy world--
Shut up and let me read it.
Okay, I didn't really understand it.
What?
I mean, I figured.
My friend only started writing recently
and hasn't found her groove yet.
Tell them to write something about exiles.
I'll be sure to relay that!
I should get going.
See you later.
Have a good day.
Chainsmoker Cat.
No!
Is this the editorial department
for Friday, I mean, Nyan Magazine?
We're the Hitotsubashi Nichiyo Family!
Bring out your editor-in-chief, Kazushi!
Shut the hell up.
100 MILLION COPIES
I'm the editor-in-chief, Kazushi.
What do you want, you brats?
You sent a disrespectful email
to our Aoyama!
You asked him to submit a guest article?
Don't screw with us, you bastard!
Eat lead!
Dumbass.
Serves him right.
He should've been happy
just to work together.
What, he's not going down?
Afternyan?!
Impossible! I know the rag
is a thick bastard,
but it can't deflect bullets!
It comes with a Four Seasons brochure?
That gave it enough thickness.
Wait, a new Land of the Lustrous 2
just came out?
That's unrelated!
How about you think why Nyan Magazine
and Afternyan's editorial department
are on the same floor
before you come back to play.
Is it always like this?
Probably like once a year.
THE ONE WHO WROTE THE DISRESPECTFUL EMAIL
Boss!
- Boss!
Boss.
Boss!
Boss!
One of the bullets pierced his heart.
There is no hope for recovery.
I need you to prepare for the worst.
If only the Afternyan beach
manga project had been approved!
He's dying.
The boss thought of you as his child.
Would you mind holding his hand
in his final moments?
Boss.
Boss.
What's going on?
His lung activity suddenly spiked!
Amazing!
His vitals are normal!
His heart is beating again!
This is incredible! How?
Boss!
- Boss!
Schwing!
All healthy!
You're going to be discharged!
Boss.
Chainsmoker Cat.
HAME-CHANNEL
STARTING SOON!
Standby. Standby. Standing by naked.
Thanks for the stream.
Hiya, it's your girl Hame-chan!
Can you all see me?
Let me know with chat reactions.
Thanks, Hame. Thanks, Hame.
Looking cute today.
Thanks, Hame. No problem. Thanks, Hame.
Thanks! Let's get started then.
In today's stream,
I'll be introducing you to my neighbors!
And I'll have you know,
our apartment building is full of hotties.
Here comes one now!
What? You're streaming?
This is Kaoru.
She's a funny gal from Kansai!
Hey, cut it out.
I don't have any makeup on!
Say something funny.
You expect me to come up with a joke
on the spot?
Something funny.
Beautiful.
Zoom in to Saturday morning!
You're joking, right?
Wait, it's not morning,
it's afternoon already!
She just showed her age.
Okay, and that was Kaoru! Moving on.
Wait, hold on! You got it wrong!
I'm not like that usually!
I was just put on the spot. Okay?
It happens to the best of us.
Arucchi, I'm coming in.
- You get it, right? Hold on!
Wait!
It's Hame-chan.
- A minor is drinking booze.
-Weird. You need to report her.
- Wait, Arucchi isn't a minor!
Seriously, don't report me!
Thank you, beastfolk.
Here's another shot.
You're getting it on me.
It got in my eye!
Well, I don't want to waste good booze.
- Thanks for the facial shot.
Hello.
Hope you don't mind me popping by.
-What's she smoking?
- Oh, crap. I need to edit this.
-Blur it.
- Who said you could stream this!
I guess it's a stimulant. Scary.
It's just shisha!
- I reported it.
I told you not to report me!
I was just kidding!
You guys don't know what a hookah is?
Crap, I actually got a warning!
WARNING
Chat! This isn't illegal at all!
I'm going to lose my channel!
Get out, you idiot!
I got kicked out.
Oh well.
Let's move on to the next apartment.
Perfect timing, Hame-chan.
I was just looking for a model
for my new erotic manga,
The Boy I Played With as a Kid
Turned Out to Be a Tomboy.
Can you let go? I'm streaming.
- You're the only one for the part.
She's got the strength of a beastfolk!
That's enough here! Next!
Now, this is an S-Rank resident here.
- This is a girl's room?
Is she not home?
- Girls are like this.
Her room is always gross.
I bet there are mushrooms growing.
I wouldn't sleep on that.
Bet there are weird creatures.
I can smell it through the screen.
The window's open, maybe she's outside.
Where is she?
There she is!
Yannie, what are you doing?
I'm eating bees.
- Yikes.
Seriously, what are you doing?
I smoked too many cigarettes
and needed to cleanse my palate.
I see.
Apex predator.
Beastfolk are scary. Is she a bear?
Is this how people are in Nyagamihara?
This is some insane footage.
I'm turned on for real.
Is nobody there normal?
Normal?
Okay, there's one person, maybe.
I'm standing in front of the apartment
of the most prominent resident here.
I doubt they'd come out
if I tell them I'm streaming.
So I'll just film them secretly.
- That's a crime.
Is he naked? What is he doing?
No way.
- Catherine, Catherine!
ACCOUNT SUSPENDED.
THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED
FOR SEXUAL CONTENT.
Subtitle translation by: Zensho Yamamoto
THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.
UNDERAGE SMOKING AND DRINKING IS
PROHIBITED. DO NOT IMITATE.
flowing ceaselessly.
Just like the smoke of a cigarette.
There is no way any reasonable person
would toss a cigarette this long.
Hold on, I'm coming,
just give me a minute.
Hel--
Okay, here we go, Seven Star!
You're okay now.
You can thank me with cigarettes.
Thank you-- Your breath stinks!
Remember that urban legend about burgers
being made from beastfolk meat?
Yeah, like there was a long, clawed finger
or something!
Could you not talk about that
while we're trying to eat?
What is this?
What's up?
Is it a finger?
Big Sis?
What?
Someone take the cigarettes
away from that beastfolk part-timer!
Seriously, Yani Neko, you're a lifesaver.
I have two different deadlines
overlapping this week.
I thought I was going to die.
Leave it to me.
I bet there aren't a lot of assistant jobs
these days that would let you smoke.
I still do everything analog,
so I need my assistant
to work in the same room as me.
LEAVE IT TO ME.
Plus, you're easy to talk to.
That makes it so much more comfortable
for an introvert like me.
Don't hate me for saying this,
but I'm glad you got fired
from your part-time job.
I'll make sure you're well paid
for your time.
What's wrong?
Leave it to me!
Hey, looking good.
Keep that up, Yani Neko.
A FEW DAYS LATER
So this is your little sister?
Really?
She's cute.
Isn't she?
Yes.
Please don't do anything to her.
Then you know what to do, don't you?
Yes, ma'am.
Okay, so I bought some high school
uniforms online!
I mean, I totally don't care or anything,
but you said you wanted to make it up
to me for burning those layouts.
Although, seriously,
I totally don't care at all.
But you really got the goods.
You're perfect for what I had in mind
for my next hentai manga.
Having an actual adult woman
wearing it adds even more spice.
You're being creepy.
Shall we go outside then?
Why are you taking this outside?
My next hentai manga is going to feature
outdoor sex,
so I wanted to take some background
reference pictures as well.
Nice, now stick your butt out some more.
And swish your tail around invitingly.
Very nice! Yes!
Okay, let's have you lie down next.
Now act like someone
is about to violate you.
You don't look like you're in danger.
I know, how about we try ripping
your uniform and skirt.
Sensational!
Next…
There's no use resisting.
Is it hard for you to look distressed?
Then let's flip it around
and have you act like you want it instead.
I want it.
Yes, this is what I wanted!
Very nice! This is all gold, Yani Neko!
Nothing beats a smoke
after a hard day's work.
Let's keep this going and hit
an outdoor sex classic.
A public toilet!
Park sex in hentai manga
is dominated by the unhoused.
There's no avoiding
dirty public bathrooms.
Let's go then.
I hear they're releasing a new burger.
You're a public bathroom! Whip it out!
Just kidding.
What song is that?
That woman was wearing a school uniform,
so it wasn't her, right?
At 3:35 p.m., we apprehended a suspicious
beastfolk and her owner. Over.
Imoko?
Isn't that your sister?
No, my big sister
was turned into a hamburger.
Chainsmoker Cat.
You're a lifesaver.
Yani Neko's little sister
dragged her back home
when she bailed her out.
But I wasn't done taking reference photos.
You're a perfect fit, Kansai.
It's only because you begged me.
Although, why don't you do it yourself?
But you've got such a good figure.
Plus, my character
is more of the innocent type.
You're a much better fit than Yani Neko.
Yeah?
Okay, that should do.
It's finally over.
Could you stand straight for me?
Sure.
We'll be taking reference photos
for the sex scene next.
Get ready to make a face of a virgin
who's about to get her body wrecked.
Mercy, please.
Yes! That's the face!
This is gold! You dirty cat!
- Stop!
MAHJONG PARLOR
TEZUMARI
MAHJONG
Here is your strawberry milk.
You stupid fucking cat!
The hell are you doing?
You just dumped
the boss's strawberry milk all over him!
Cleaning a garb like that
doesn't come cheap!
Hey.
Keep your hand where it is, Katsurada.
Sorry, sir.
Katsurada, remember
what the boss always says?
Of course. Don't trouble civilians.
That's right.
I'm so sorry, Mr. Kazushi.
Don't worry about it.
We've known Yani Neko
since she was a tiny little thing.
She's like a daughter to us.
Just seeing her all grown up
makes me want to cry.
Isn't that nice, Yani Neko?
Now go on and apologize.
I'm truly sorry.
Boss, it's late.
We should get going, we have that
rookie of the year selection meeting.
Boss?
Hold on, Shibata.
Okay.
But, Boss, at this rate, these rookies
with promising futures…
Schwing!
Yannie.
You still working?
You promised you'd play
Nyan Revolution with me today.
Hey, Hame Neko.
Schwing!
Boss?
Actually, let's hang out here
a little longer.
I see.
So, he's into flat girls.
Chainsmoker Cat.
Do I have a bug on my face or something?
No, it's just my first time
seeing you actually read.
What kind of story is it?
It's a novel that was posted on Kakeyome.
Nice! I use that site a lot as well!
I didn't ask.
Is it interesting?
I'm just reading it to kill time.
It's getting a little boring
with all the exiling and starting over.
I totally get that!
Following a template is so crappy!
That's one of the downsides
of a rank system.
I suppose it's human nature
to follow trends
to get people to read your story,
but that means real creativity
is losing to the desire for approval.
To be honest, I find it impure.
They're not professional authors,
writing what they want to
is like the whole point
of online publishing.
Actually, I--
I mean, a friend of mine
writes a novel on Kakeyome.
I would love to get your opinion.
You're writing a novel?
- Yes!
No, my friend does!
The title is
"The Melancholy of Dragon Major."
The goal was to create
a true fantasy story.
Just so you know, "Major" is an occupation
in the fantasy world--
Shut up and let me read it.
Okay, I didn't really understand it.
What?
I mean, I figured.
My friend only started writing recently
and hasn't found her groove yet.
Tell them to write something about exiles.
I'll be sure to relay that!
I should get going.
See you later.
Have a good day.
Chainsmoker Cat.
No!
Is this the editorial department
for Friday, I mean, Nyan Magazine?
We're the Hitotsubashi Nichiyo Family!
Bring out your editor-in-chief, Kazushi!
Shut the hell up.
100 MILLION COPIES
I'm the editor-in-chief, Kazushi.
What do you want, you brats?
You sent a disrespectful email
to our Aoyama!
You asked him to submit a guest article?
Don't screw with us, you bastard!
Eat lead!
Dumbass.
Serves him right.
He should've been happy
just to work together.
What, he's not going down?
Afternyan?!
Impossible! I know the rag
is a thick bastard,
but it can't deflect bullets!
It comes with a Four Seasons brochure?
That gave it enough thickness.
Wait, a new Land of the Lustrous 2
just came out?
That's unrelated!
How about you think why Nyan Magazine
and Afternyan's editorial department
are on the same floor
before you come back to play.
Is it always like this?
Probably like once a year.
THE ONE WHO WROTE THE DISRESPECTFUL EMAIL
Boss!
- Boss!
Boss.
Boss!
Boss!
One of the bullets pierced his heart.
There is no hope for recovery.
I need you to prepare for the worst.
If only the Afternyan beach
manga project had been approved!
He's dying.
The boss thought of you as his child.
Would you mind holding his hand
in his final moments?
Boss.
Boss.
What's going on?
His lung activity suddenly spiked!
Amazing!
His vitals are normal!
His heart is beating again!
This is incredible! How?
Boss!
- Boss!
Schwing!
All healthy!
You're going to be discharged!
Boss.
Chainsmoker Cat.
HAME-CHANNEL
STARTING SOON!
Standby. Standby. Standing by naked.
Thanks for the stream.
Hiya, it's your girl Hame-chan!
Can you all see me?
Let me know with chat reactions.
Thanks, Hame. Thanks, Hame.
Looking cute today.
Thanks, Hame. No problem. Thanks, Hame.
Thanks! Let's get started then.
In today's stream,
I'll be introducing you to my neighbors!
And I'll have you know,
our apartment building is full of hotties.
Here comes one now!
What? You're streaming?
This is Kaoru.
She's a funny gal from Kansai!
Hey, cut it out.
I don't have any makeup on!
Say something funny.
You expect me to come up with a joke
on the spot?
Something funny.
Beautiful.
Zoom in to Saturday morning!
You're joking, right?
Wait, it's not morning,
it's afternoon already!
She just showed her age.
Okay, and that was Kaoru! Moving on.
Wait, hold on! You got it wrong!
I'm not like that usually!
I was just put on the spot. Okay?
It happens to the best of us.
Arucchi, I'm coming in.
- You get it, right? Hold on!
Wait!
It's Hame-chan.
- A minor is drinking booze.
-Weird. You need to report her.
- Wait, Arucchi isn't a minor!
Seriously, don't report me!
Thank you, beastfolk.
Here's another shot.
You're getting it on me.
It got in my eye!
Well, I don't want to waste good booze.
- Thanks for the facial shot.
Hello.
Hope you don't mind me popping by.
-What's she smoking?
- Oh, crap. I need to edit this.
-Blur it.
- Who said you could stream this!
I guess it's a stimulant. Scary.
It's just shisha!
- I reported it.
I told you not to report me!
I was just kidding!
You guys don't know what a hookah is?
Crap, I actually got a warning!
WARNING
Chat! This isn't illegal at all!
I'm going to lose my channel!
Get out, you idiot!
I got kicked out.
Oh well.
Let's move on to the next apartment.
Perfect timing, Hame-chan.
I was just looking for a model
for my new erotic manga,
The Boy I Played With as a Kid
Turned Out to Be a Tomboy.
Can you let go? I'm streaming.
- You're the only one for the part.
She's got the strength of a beastfolk!
That's enough here! Next!
Now, this is an S-Rank resident here.
- This is a girl's room?
Is she not home?
- Girls are like this.
Her room is always gross.
I bet there are mushrooms growing.
I wouldn't sleep on that.
Bet there are weird creatures.
I can smell it through the screen.
The window's open, maybe she's outside.
Where is she?
There she is!
Yannie, what are you doing?
I'm eating bees.
- Yikes.
Seriously, what are you doing?
I smoked too many cigarettes
and needed to cleanse my palate.
I see.
Apex predator.
Beastfolk are scary. Is she a bear?
Is this how people are in Nyagamihara?
This is some insane footage.
I'm turned on for real.
Is nobody there normal?
Normal?
Okay, there's one person, maybe.
I'm standing in front of the apartment
of the most prominent resident here.
I doubt they'd come out
if I tell them I'm streaming.
So I'll just film them secretly.
- That's a crime.
Is he naked? What is he doing?
No way.
- Catherine, Catherine!
ACCOUNT SUSPENDED.
THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED
FOR SEXUAL CONTENT.
Subtitle translation by: Zensho Yamamoto
THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.
UNDERAGE SMOKING AND DRINKING IS
PROHIBITED. DO NOT IMITATE.