Gilligan's Island (1964) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ♪
a tale of a fateful trip ♪
that started from this tropic port ♪
aboard this tiny ship ♪
the mate was a mighty sailing man ♪
the skipper brave and sure ♪
five passengers set sail that day ♪
for a three hour tour ♪
a three hour tour ♪
[thunder rumbling]
The weather started getting rough ♪
the tiny ship was tossed ♪
if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
the minnow would be lost ♪
the minnow would be lost ♪
the ship set ground on the shore ♪
of this uncharted desert isle ♪
with gilligan ♪
the skipper too ♪
the millionaire and his wife ♪
the movie star ♪
and the rest ♪
are here on gilligan's isle ♪♪
[Door closes]
[Mumbling]
Guadalcanal.
[Trumpets blowing]
(Skipper) 'Sub chaser 307
calling squadron command.'
'do you read me?'
'come in, squadron command. Come in.'
'we are under heavy enemy attack.'
'await you instructions.'
'bandits at 10 o'clock.
Look out. Hit the deck!'
'phew! That was a close one.'
you're telling me.
'Are you okay, lieutenant?' - Yeah.
Lieutenant?
Skipper?
[Grunting]
Transmitter's been knocked out, sir.
We'll have to convert the receiver.
(Skipper) 'Harris, give
me that radio manual.'
Connect remaining circuits
by plugging into..
Radio frequency located at the
right side of the antenna lead.
Ready to convert the radio
into a transmitter, lieutenant.
Aye, aye, sir!
Evans, hold this book.
Give me a screwdriver, Ferguson.
Quick, man, a screwdriver!
Now give me the wire cutters.
Wire cutters!
Ready to transmit, sir.
Dive-bombers at 12 o'clock. Jump, men!
- Aye, aye, sir.
- Run for your lives.
[Snoring]
[Blowing raspberry]
Gilligan.
You're soaking wet.
I know, the lagoon's full of water.
What were you doing in the lagoon?
You pushed me overboard when
the dive-bombers came at us.
- What dive-bombers?
- The one you're dreamin' about.
I'd just given you
some tools to fix the radio.
- Tools?
- Yeah.
This screwdriver
and these pair of wire cutters.
'Boy, a near nightmare out there.'
gilligan, I have not been
out of this hammock.
'You've been walking in your sleep.'
I have?
Certainly. When you fell
in the water, it woke you up.
Is that what happened?
I could've sworn it was
the other way around.
I'm afraid not. Why
don't you go back to sleep
and no more dive-bombers tonight, huh?
- Yes, sir.
- Oh, gilligan.
You better wipe those wire cutters off
before they get rusty.
[Theme music]
(Woman on radio) 'This
is Alice mcneal signing off'
'as I start the last leg of
my round the world flight.'
'open up that golden gate 'cause
San Francisco, here I come.'
[birds squawking]
Professor, according
to my new calculations
she should be passing
right over our island.
There must be some way
we can contact her.
But how?
I got it. I've got it! What we
need is a big roaring fire.
(Professor) 'Yes.'
a big roaring fire on a hot day like this?
A signal fire, gilligan.
There's a very good chance
that woman flyer will pass
right over this island.
Skipper, we're saved. We're saved.
We're not saved yet, gilligan.
We've gotta figure out some way
to attract her attention.
I'll take off my shirt,
jump, and yell and wave it.
Gilligan, she's gonna be
passing over at 5000 ft.
How do you suppose she'll see you?
I'll stand on your shoulders.
That's good, gilligan. That's very good.
I've got an even better idea,
skipper. An even better idea.
- We'll build a human tower.
- Human tower?
You'll be on the bottom
professor stands on your shoulders
Mr. Howell stands on his,
I stand on Mr. Howell's
Mrs. Howell stands on your shoulders
ginger stands on her shoulders
and we'll have Mary Ann at the top.
No, I think ginger ought to be at the top.
Why?
Because she's wearing high heels.
I think a signal fire's
our best bet, gilligan.
But I don't know if she can see
through that nimbus cumuli.
Yeah, and all those clouds
are in the way too.
We better do something pretty quick.
No telling how soon she might pass over.
If only I could remember how
you fixed the radio last night.
What radio?
The one in the sub chaser
in my nightmare.
We were under enemy attack and
the transmitter knocked out.
Sub chaser?
Enemy attack? The transmitter
got knocked out?
Don't you remember?
I told you last night.
I thought he was walking in his sleep.
Turned out he was walking in my sleep.
What else happened?
I don't know.
Whole thing's kinda hazy today.
The whole nightmare
seems like a dream.
Gilligan.
Gilligan, little buddy.
You said I fixed the radio.
How did I do it?
You turned it into a transmitter.
I remember. It happened at guadalcanal.
No, it happened over there by the lagoon.
We were about a mile off shore.
The transmitter got hit. We were
strafed by enemy fighters.
I had to do something fast.
Skipper, let me tell it. It was my dream.
Is it possible to convert
a radio into a transmitter?
Sure! All you need a screwdriver
and a pair of wire cutters.
Got 'em right here, sir.
It's a simple procedure.
It's just a matter of
reversing the circuits by..
- Gilligan, how did I do it?
- I don't know.
But you must have seen something.
I didn't even see the dive-bombers.
Next thing I knew
I was swimming for my life.
Think, skipper. Come on, think.
How did you convert that radio?
I don't remember.
I know. I'll go back to sleep
and get on the boat
a little earlier this time.
That was my dream last night, not yours.
- But you told
- 'i know what I told you.'
but I was wrong. Looks like
I owe you an apology.
Forget it, skipper. If you
hadn't pushed me overboard
I would have been blown to bits.
It has something to do with
the main coil. A main coil.
- Main coil.
- Main coil.
It's no use.
I can't sleep with somebody watching.
Alright, skipper. You try it on your own.
Yeah. Concentrate on getting to
sleep. Leave the worrying to us.
The only thing you gotta worry
about is getting to sleep.
Thanks, gilligan.
You got seven lives depending on you.
'That's a big responsibility for one man.'
'unless you sleep,
you won't walk in your sleep'
and we can't change the
radio into the transmitter.
- So relax and go to sleep.
- Let's go, gilligan.
You don't have to tiptoe,
gilligan. I'm not asleep yet.
Better hurry. That woman's gonna
be flying over at any time.
- I'm doing the very best I can.
- I know you are, skipper.
So stop thinkin' about
the trouble we're in.
You'll never get asleep
with that on your mind.
- I sure hope he gets to sleep.
- He will if he's left alone.
Gilligan, I want you to stand guard.
Make sure nobody gets in there
and disturbs the skipper.
- Right, nobody.
- That includes you.
Especially me, I'm the worst
of the whole bunch.
[Grunts] I'm gonna go lie down. I'm beat.
Shh.
No noise, gilligan.
The skipper's almost asleep.
Oh!
When the wind blows
the cradle will rock ♪
when the bough breaks
the cradle will fall ♪
down will come baby ♪
[loudly] cradle and all ♪♪
(Alice mcneal on radio) 'This is Alice
mcneal in the vagabond lady saying'
'aloha nui to Hawaii.'
'I'm planning my eta.'
'this is vagabond lady signing off.'
'over and out.'
signal's coming in a lot stronger now.
I've got a feeling
she's closer than we thought.
Please, gilligan. Just a little slower.
Skipper.
How 'bout a nice warm cup of
coconut milk to make you sleep?
I've had 34 cups of that already.
I never want to see another
coconut or a lamb chop.
Lamb chop?
I also counted 19,000 sheep today.
I've got to be alone with my thoughts.
[Sighs]
That poor man is a nervous wreck.
He's all worn out
from trying to get to sleep.
What he needs is something to
make him relax, calm him down.
Wish we had some tranquilizers.
Yeah, tranquilizers.
No, that's no good. We
don't have a prescription.
Wait a minute.
Mr. Howell may have some.
He's always taking pills
for one thing or another.
I'll go ask him.
Is there something bothering you?
Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.
What is it?
After we're rescued I must dash down
to Argentina to get
a new string of Polo ponies.
Well, if we do return before the matches
couldn't you use the ones we have?
I suppose I could.
It's just that I hate
to ride a used Polo pony.
The coat is so shiny
- gilligan, hello.
- Hi, Mrs. Howell, Mr. Howell.
Mr. Howell, do you have
any tranquilizers?
Of course, I do, gilligan.
Every big business man
uses tranquilizers.
Makes him calm enough
to take the rest of his pills.
Could I borrow some? It's very important.
Oh, yes. They're in my pill
case, they're in my shelter.
You stay there, darling.
You relax. I'll go get them.
There goes a lovely lady.
Gilligan, my boy,
let me tell you something.
Look behind every successful man
and you will find a woman.
Yes, sir.
Just make sure his wife doesn't find her.
It's a marriage joke, I mean.
- Oh, there we are, lovey.
- Here you are, darling.
Must have been heavy. Ah..
(Mr. Howell) Ah, there we are.
'How did these get in here?'
now, let's see, what did I want this for?
(Mr. Howell) 'Oh, yes, yes.
My arthritis. Of course, arthritis.'
"'lovey, my pet. Do you remember
which one of my shoulders hurt"
ah, no dear, you asked me
to get these for gilligan.
Gilligan? Well, he seems
much too young for arthritis.
No, dear. Gilligan
came in for tranquilizers.
Tranquilizers. Of course,
tranq Here they are.
They would have bitten me.
Here they are, tranquilizers.
- I only need a couple.
- That's perfectly alright.
Take the whole.
Plenty more, plenty more.
Thank you, sir.
Lovey, that is the younger
generation for you.
Medication for everything and anything.
Yep.
What is this?
"Kills pain fast, fast, fast."
Indeed.
Nobody rushes a ho well.
[Theme music]
Hi, Mary Ann. Have you
seen the professor?
No, but everyone will be
showing up for dinner soon.
- Is it dinner time already?
- Well, just about. Why?
I borrowed these tranquilizers
from Mr. Howell.
I wanna put a couple in
the skipper's mango juice.
That'll calm him down
and get him to sleep.
What a great idea.
Mary Ann, will you give
this back to Mr. Howell?
- I gotta go get the skipper.
- Sure.
[Ginger yodeling]
[Sniffs] Hmm, what smells so good?
Burned swordfish.
Burn the other side.
I think it might be better.
[Yodeling]
What are these for?
Oh, tranquilizers.
Ah, might be just what he needs!
- Come here a minute, would ya?
- Hm.
Taste this thin gravy, would
you, and see what you think.
O-Oh! I think you need to burn
the fish a little more.
(Professor) 'Hi, girls.'
say, you seen gilligan?
Well, he was just looking
for you. Anything wrong?
No. I wanted to see if he got the..
- Got the what?
- Oh, nothing, nothing.
[Sniffing] Hey, dinner smells good.
(Gilligan) 'Please, skipper.'
gilligan, I don't have to eat
to keep up sta I'm not hungry.
- Please, skipper.
- Leave me alone.
Sit down and take it easy.
- Sit right here.
- Alright, I'll sit down.
Here, skipper. Have some mango juice.
- Oh, yes.
- Thank you. Thank you.
I don't want any mango juice.
How 'bout some fish.
Fish'll make you thirsty.
Mary Ann, how's the fish coming along?
- Just about ready.
- Ready in just about a minute.
- Here, have some mango juice.
- I don't want any juice.
Please, now just leave
me alone. I wanna think.
Trying to remember..
[Sighs]
Hey, tranquilizers. Couple of
these ought to put me to sleep.
- No!
- No, skipper.
I don't think you should..
Here's to an early rescue.
[Exhales]
[Snoring]
How long you thing we'd have to
wait before something happens?
By the time he starts sleep-walking
that lady could go around
the world on a raft.
[Snoring]
[Sighs]
[Mumbling]
The vagabond lady.
[Slurring]
Get him to the beach!
Skipper, skipper!
Put up your arms
like you did before. Here.
[Slurring]
It's amazing. It's amazing.
I had no idea that four
tranquilizers could produce
this much of an affect.
Six.
Eight.
Ten.
And he's out.
Lovey, I told you to hurry
and get dressed. Look!
We missed the cocktail hour.
(Alice mcneal on radio) 'I'm
happy to report that I'm now'
'one hour ahead of schedule.'
yeah, go on. Go on. What, what, what?
'I'm anxious to talk to anyone
who is getting my signal.'
she's not half as anxious as we are.
'Don't forget. There's
nothing but ocean under me.'
'vagabond lady signing off now.'
she'll be within range of
the island pretty soon.
Can we fix the transmitter
in time? That's the question.
Oh, yeah.
There's the answer. Hi, skipper.
- Oh!
- Shh!
[Whispering] I know where
he's headed. Back to the lagoon.
- Ah!
- Shh.
He mustn't be awaken. We'll
never learn what we wanna know.
- But
- don't utter a sound.
Okay, I won't utter a sound.
But my foot's on fire. Look!
[Muffled whining]
Come on, let's hurry. He's
going right back to the lagoon.
Just like I told you.
[Groaning]
Shh.
Aw!
[Band music]
Battle stations!
Yes, sir.
Aye, aye, sir.
[Retching]
Professor, where are we?
Still marooned on an island
without a transmitter.
Oh, gilligan.
You're reliving your landing
on guadalcanal.
You're aboard your old landing
craft headed toward the beach
as the battle rages.
[Mimicking gunfire]
[Whistling]
The sea tosses your boat
around like a cork
as you plow through the crashing waves
toward the distant shoreline.
[Whooshing]
- Where are my seasick pills?
- I didn't bring them, dear.
I had no idea we were going out this far.
I think I've got him hypnotized.
Now, everybody remember your parts.
First chance I've had to act
since we been ship wrecked
and I'm playing, gunner's mate entwistle.
This is a real test for you.
You don't look a bit like him.
- Thanks, gilligan.
- Alright, men.
We're heading for the beach.
Battle stations, everybody!
[Trumpeting]
Say out when I call your name.
Wilcowski.
Here.
Mcinerney!
Here.
- Lefkowitz!
- Oh..
[Hoarse tone] Here.
What's the matter with your voice?
Laryngitis.
- Here!
- Ferguson!
- Here!
- 'Entwhistle!'
- here!
- That's was real good, ginger.
- You sounded just like him.
- We're heading in!
Harris, keep your head down.
Harris is the one with the radio manual.
If anything happens to him,
somebody grab the book.
Looks pretty rough up ahead!
We're gonna have a hot reception
when we hit the beach.
Alright, come on, folks.
Battle noises! Battle noises!
[Mimicking machine guns and planes]
(Skipper) 'Testing, one, two, three, four.'
one, two, three, four.
Nothing. Still doesn't work.
Are you sure you wrote those
instructions down correctly?
I'm positive.
Are you sure you dreamed
the instructions correctly?
Well, here's no use fooling
around with this anymore.
- She's probably out of range.
- Yes, I'm afraid so.
Gilligan, you got sentry duty.
I'm gonna turn in for a while.
- Okay, skipper.
- So am I. Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Testing, one, two, three, four.
Testing, one, two..
[Thumping]
Hello, hello, can anybody hear me?
(Female on radio) 'Nice
to talk to you, young man.'
who's that?
'This is Alice mcneal
in the vagabond lady.'
my gosh, it's Alice!
Please stay right were you are.
I got to go tell the skipper.
Now don't go away. Please.
Hey, skipper!
What happened? Did you see her plane?
No, no, skipper. It's working, it's working!
- What's working?
- The radio, I fixed it.
I just talked to that lady flyer.
- You what?
- Honest. I'm not dreaming.
I figure, you do the talking.
I don't wanna cause any trouble.
I want everything to work out just right.
But how could you have fixed the radio?
It was easy. All I did was hit it like this.
Come to think of it, I guess
I dreamed the whole thing.
Of course, you did.
[Plane whirring]
(Alice mcneal on radio) 'Nice to have
talked to you down there, whoever you are.'
'we see you've been cut off.'
'meanwhile, happy landing.'
[Bee buzzing]
[Whispering] 'Shh.
Skipper's finally asleep.'
quiet. Shh!
[Rattling]
Quiet.
Shh!
[Buzzing continuous]
No! No, no, no, no, no.
[Buzzing]
Oh!
They're here for a long long time ♪
they'll have to make the best of things ♪
it's an uphill climb ♪
the first mate and his skipper too ♪
will do their very best ♪
to make the others comfortable
in their tropic island nest ♪
no phone no lights no motor car ♪
not a single luxury ♪
like Robinson crusoe ♪
it's primitive as can be ♪
so join us here each week my friends ♪
you're sure to get a smile ♪
for seven stranded castaways ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪♪