Haha, You Clowns (2025) s01e04 Episode Script
Plane
1
( TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(AIRPLANE ENGINE REVVING)
-(METAL FLAP RATTLING)
(WHISTLES) She's a beaut,
ain't she?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
That right there is one
of the safest planes in the sky.
You never know though, right?
Every day there seems
to be a recall.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
But who knows
what's fake news these days.
(SCOFFS) Heard that.
Gentlemen,
Cancún's calling our name.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
Your safety is important
to all of us.
-(CHUCKLES) Whoa!
-(KIDS LAUGH)
So, let's go over
some in-flight instructions,
so we can get you
to where you need to be.
(OVER SCREEN)
To buckle the seat belt,
insert the metal end
into the buckle
-and pull the strap to tighten.
-(METAL CLANGS)
-(KIDS LAUGH)
-(DUNCAN LAUGHS)
TRISTAN:
Those kids are a handful.
This is
an interesting direction.
Tristan, did you get your chips?
Roger that.
Tristan understood
the assignment.
-(BOYS CHUCKLE)
-Excuse me. Hi.
My brother has a peanut allergy.
Could you please do me
the trouble of alerting
the other passengers and crew?
Appreciate you.
I'll alert
the surrounding row, sir.
But I can't deprive everyone
of our in-flight snack options.
Okay, I have to ask,
are you prepared
-to assist me in this?
-(MUNCHES)
Thank you for flying
with us today.
-(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(SPEAKING GERMAN)
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
I just alerted the crew
about Duncan's nut allergy.
Hey, all right.
How are we doing
back there, Captain?
Doing good, yep.
Should be
a quick six-hour flight.
Saw there's
a storm system over Texas,
but that should be miles away
from our flight pattern.
-I expect to--
-I know there's a storm system.
But, yeah,
I expect the seatbelt sign
-to be off the entire way.
-(SIGN BEEPS)
-(TIRES SCREECH SOFTLY)
-(AIRPLANE ENGINE RUMBLES)
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
DUNCAN: South Pole elf.
Yeah, I think
they're called penguins.
(CHUCKLES)
Love that scene.
So, listen,
this is the first time
Dad's flown without Mom.
Maybe just keep
that excitement down
to a low hum, okay?
(PRESTON GRUNTS)
These newer birds
are something else, huh?
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
PRESTON:
See that number right there?
So, that's the altimeter.
Thirty thou.
That's right where we wanna be.
But here's where
it gets interesting. Tailwind.
That's the number
you'll really wanna focus on.
-(TURBULENCE)
-(AIRPLANE RATTLES)
-Whoa, Nelly!
-(SIGN BEEPS)
Evening.
The captain turned
the seatbelt sign on, sir.
-Please take your seat.
-Oh, my bad.
I was just explaining
the flight instruments
-to my Dad.
-Hi, how are you?
Looks like we're getting a lot
of help from that tailwind.
Sir, please take your seat.
So, you got any downtime
in Cancún,
or is it just straight back up
in the air for you?
(MUNCHES)
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
-(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(DOOR SQUEAKS, RATTLES)
She's all yours.
You just gotta pull in.
Yeah, yeah,
a little counterintuitive.
(WHISPERING)
Hey, how's it going?
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
AIRHOSTESS: (MUFFLED)
Ginger Ale? Juice? Club soda?
-(IN NORMAL VOICE) Sir.
-Oh, uh
Anything to drink, sir?
Get yourself a cerveza, Dad.
You've earned it.
You're on vacation.
Treat yourself.
Uh, water's fine.
(ICE CUBES RATTLING)
All right,
but when we touch down,
I want to see
a piña colada in that hand.
How's that, lasagna?
Surprisingly good
for airplane food.
How's that chicken?
Mm, it's chicken.
-(BOYS LAUGH)
-DUNCAN: It's chicken.
PRESTON: So good.
-( TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
-(TURBULENCE)
-Whoa, Nelly.
-Whoa, help. Help me.
-Dad! Dad? Just breathe, Dad.
-Help me! Help me!
-PRESTON: Dad! What you need?
-What you need?
-DAD: Help me.
Just breathe, sir.
All you gotta do is breathe.
-(BREATHES DEEPLY)
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Eyes here. Breathe in.
-All the way.
-(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Very good.
-First time in Cancún.
-Focus on breathing, Dad.
-That that's the main thing.
-Okay. Breathe slowly for me.
Just keep breathing, Dad.
You're doing great.
Good.
Just a little bit of turbulence.
Little pockets of air.
Dad, Dad,
just keep breathing, okay?
Where y'all staying?
Uh, uh, it's it's,
uh, the, uh, coral, uh
Think of it like potholes
on the road, Dad.
-I don't know about that.
-(DAD COUGHS)
But more like a speed bump.
Well, a speed bump
pushing 600 is probably gonna
mess up something.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC
PLAYS, FADES) ♪
-ATTENDENT: Look at that.
-PRESTON: It's just like
driving a car, Dad.
ATTENDENT:
Isn't she the cutest thing
you've ever laid your eyes on?
When she stays with me,
we recite
a little mantra together.
-You wanna hear it?
-You're in
a big ole' Buick, Dad.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
ATTENDENT: Okay.
Repeat after me.
-I am strong.
-Um, I am strong.
Just like driving your old Chevy
down a backcountry road, Dad.
-I am loved.
-I am loved.
I trust in His plan for my life.
-Who?
-(RUMBLING)
CAPTAIN: (OVER PA)
We're gonna find smoother air.
Flight attendants,
take your jump seats.
Okay, sir.
I'm gonna be right behind you.
Remember our mantra.
-Wait, are you serious?
-DAD: I am strong.
You're just gonna
leave him like this?
-I am strong. I am loved.
-(SIGHS) Sorry.
How we doing over here, guys?
I've been better.
PRESTON: How was
that cold salad, Duncan?
(DUNCAN GROANS)
Is that spot for you, okay?
-Duncan? Whoa, Duncan!
-(DUNCAN GROANS PAINFULLY)
PRESTON: Duncan! Duncan, stop!
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
This salad bowl reeks
of nuts, Preston!
-(GROANS PAINFULLY)
-Duncan. Whoa! Duncan. Duncan!
-I am strong. I am loved
-Dad! Dad!
Duncan's having
an allergic reaction!
-I am strong. I am loved.
-(DUNCAN GROANS PAINFULLY)
-Dad, please.
-DAD: I am strong. I am loved.
I don't know what to do.
-I am loved.
-(REFLECTIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I try to put on a strong face
for you and the fellas.
But deep down, I guess I'm just
a scared little boy.
TRISTAN: Duncan! Whoa!
-Whoa, Duncan!
-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
TRISTAN: Whoa, whoa! Duncan!
-DAD: Hmm.
-TRISTAN: Duncan, stop!
-(DUNCAN GROANS)
-TRISTAN: Don't do it again!
It's not an allergic reaction.
His ears aren't popping.
-Preston, did you pack any gum?
-Yeah?
The change in air pressure,
of course. I'm on it..
Crap, I'm not seeing it.
I've got some,
but it's in my carrier.
(SEATBELT CLACKS)
Sir, the captain
has asked all passengers
to remain seated.
Sir, it is for your safety
and for the safety
of everyone around you.
It's the blue bag. Small pocket.
(TENSE MUSIC NOTE) ♪
They're all blue.
-Sir! Sir!
-(BAGS THUD)
-How's he doing?
-It's not looking good.
He's hanging in there, Dad.
Stay the course.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(RUMBLING)
-Sir, I'm warning you!
-Screw this, I'm helping you.
Preston, I'm so proud of you
for taking charge,
but I'm gonna take it from here.
What I need from you now
is to be there
for your brothers.
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-You got it, Dad.
-Sir!
-(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Ha! Got it!
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
(MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(BEADS CLINKING)
(ETHEREAL RINGING)
(MYSTICAL VOCALIZATIONS) ♪
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
-(RUMBLING)
-Preston.
-Tristan.
Duncan, open up. Don't fight it.
(DUNCAN GROANS)
(MUNCHES, SIGHS)
Welcome back
to the world of the living.
He's gonna need
some serious R&R.
(PA DINGS)
Hark! The herald angels sing ♪
Glory to the newborn King ♪
ELF: (OVER TV)
I told you I was a real elf.
Peace on earth, and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled ♪
These key cards are tricky.
How's he doing?
I think we're gonna
book this guy a massage.
He's still a little tight.
Here, drink this.
Put me down for one too, then.
Well, if you get one,
then I'm definitely getting one.
What do you say, Dad? You in?
Oh, no. You boys go ahead.
I think I'm just gonna read
by the pool.
-Soak up some rays.
-(QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Dad, if anyone deserves
a massage, it's you.
I'll second that.
You take such good care
of us, Dad.
Mom will be so proud
of how you're raising
her three baby boys.
(CHUCKLES) 'Cause sometimes
we can definitely be a handful.
-(DAD COUGHS)
-Let us book you
an appointment, Dad.
-(DOOR KNOCKS)
-(MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) ♪
Hmm. I wonder who that could be.
Glory to the newborn King ♪
I was just checking
in downstairs
and I saw your brother
in the gift shop.
(SIGHS) It's Tristan.
(HESITATES)
I just wanted to apologize
for what happened up there.
If my daughter's ears
were popping,
I probably would have done
the same thing.
TRISTAN: There must be three
or four snorkels in here.
And snacks. Dude, seriously?
And don't worry,
they're all peanut free.
Anyway, I'm just staying
for the night.
Then it's back up
in the air for me.
Hopefully, we won't catch
that nasty tailwind flying back.
-Oh my God.
-(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
That was something else,
wasn't it?
Oh, sorry. This pool toy
is actually for my daughter.
I'm excited to see her
whenever I get back home.
Would you like to get a massage
with the four of us?
Oh, I
I wouldn't wanna impose.
-You wouldn't be imposing.
-You're our guest.
Then it's settled.
I gotta ask,
how did you raise
such thoughtful, caring boys?
My advice?
Just show them love
from one father to another.
We are strong. We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
ALL: We are strong.
We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
-We are strong.
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
( TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(AIRPLANE ENGINE REVVING)
-(METAL FLAP RATTLING)
(WHISTLES) She's a beaut,
ain't she?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
That right there is one
of the safest planes in the sky.
You never know though, right?
Every day there seems
to be a recall.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
But who knows
what's fake news these days.
(SCOFFS) Heard that.
Gentlemen,
Cancún's calling our name.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
Your safety is important
to all of us.
-(CHUCKLES) Whoa!
-(KIDS LAUGH)
So, let's go over
some in-flight instructions,
so we can get you
to where you need to be.
(OVER SCREEN)
To buckle the seat belt,
insert the metal end
into the buckle
-and pull the strap to tighten.
-(METAL CLANGS)
-(KIDS LAUGH)
-(DUNCAN LAUGHS)
TRISTAN:
Those kids are a handful.
This is
an interesting direction.
Tristan, did you get your chips?
Roger that.
Tristan understood
the assignment.
-(BOYS CHUCKLE)
-Excuse me. Hi.
My brother has a peanut allergy.
Could you please do me
the trouble of alerting
the other passengers and crew?
Appreciate you.
I'll alert
the surrounding row, sir.
But I can't deprive everyone
of our in-flight snack options.
Okay, I have to ask,
are you prepared
-to assist me in this?
-(MUNCHES)
Thank you for flying
with us today.
-(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(SPEAKING GERMAN)
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
I just alerted the crew
about Duncan's nut allergy.
Hey, all right.
How are we doing
back there, Captain?
Doing good, yep.
Should be
a quick six-hour flight.
Saw there's
a storm system over Texas,
but that should be miles away
from our flight pattern.
-I expect to--
-I know there's a storm system.
But, yeah,
I expect the seatbelt sign
-to be off the entire way.
-(SIGN BEEPS)
-(TIRES SCREECH SOFTLY)
-(AIRPLANE ENGINE RUMBLES)
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
DUNCAN: South Pole elf.
Yeah, I think
they're called penguins.
(CHUCKLES)
Love that scene.
So, listen,
this is the first time
Dad's flown without Mom.
Maybe just keep
that excitement down
to a low hum, okay?
(PRESTON GRUNTS)
These newer birds
are something else, huh?
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
PRESTON:
See that number right there?
So, that's the altimeter.
Thirty thou.
That's right where we wanna be.
But here's where
it gets interesting. Tailwind.
That's the number
you'll really wanna focus on.
-(TURBULENCE)
-(AIRPLANE RATTLES)
-Whoa, Nelly!
-(SIGN BEEPS)
Evening.
The captain turned
the seatbelt sign on, sir.
-Please take your seat.
-Oh, my bad.
I was just explaining
the flight instruments
-to my Dad.
-Hi, how are you?
Looks like we're getting a lot
of help from that tailwind.
Sir, please take your seat.
So, you got any downtime
in Cancún,
or is it just straight back up
in the air for you?
(MUNCHES)
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
-(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(DOOR SQUEAKS, RATTLES)
She's all yours.
You just gotta pull in.
Yeah, yeah,
a little counterintuitive.
(WHISPERING)
Hey, how's it going?
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
AIRHOSTESS: (MUFFLED)
Ginger Ale? Juice? Club soda?
-(IN NORMAL VOICE) Sir.
-Oh, uh
Anything to drink, sir?
Get yourself a cerveza, Dad.
You've earned it.
You're on vacation.
Treat yourself.
Uh, water's fine.
(ICE CUBES RATTLING)
All right,
but when we touch down,
I want to see
a piña colada in that hand.
How's that, lasagna?
Surprisingly good
for airplane food.
How's that chicken?
Mm, it's chicken.
-(BOYS LAUGH)
-DUNCAN: It's chicken.
PRESTON: So good.
-( TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
-(TURBULENCE)
-Whoa, Nelly.
-Whoa, help. Help me.
-Dad! Dad? Just breathe, Dad.
-Help me! Help me!
-PRESTON: Dad! What you need?
-What you need?
-DAD: Help me.
Just breathe, sir.
All you gotta do is breathe.
-(BREATHES DEEPLY)
-(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Eyes here. Breathe in.
-All the way.
-(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Very good.
-First time in Cancún.
-Focus on breathing, Dad.
-That that's the main thing.
-Okay. Breathe slowly for me.
Just keep breathing, Dad.
You're doing great.
Good.
Just a little bit of turbulence.
Little pockets of air.
Dad, Dad,
just keep breathing, okay?
Where y'all staying?
Uh, uh, it's it's,
uh, the, uh, coral, uh
Think of it like potholes
on the road, Dad.
-I don't know about that.
-(DAD COUGHS)
But more like a speed bump.
Well, a speed bump
pushing 600 is probably gonna
mess up something.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC
PLAYS, FADES) ♪
-ATTENDENT: Look at that.
-PRESTON: It's just like
driving a car, Dad.
ATTENDENT:
Isn't she the cutest thing
you've ever laid your eyes on?
When she stays with me,
we recite
a little mantra together.
-You wanna hear it?
-You're in
a big ole' Buick, Dad.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
ATTENDENT: Okay.
Repeat after me.
-I am strong.
-Um, I am strong.
Just like driving your old Chevy
down a backcountry road, Dad.
-I am loved.
-I am loved.
I trust in His plan for my life.
-Who?
-(RUMBLING)
CAPTAIN: (OVER PA)
We're gonna find smoother air.
Flight attendants,
take your jump seats.
Okay, sir.
I'm gonna be right behind you.
Remember our mantra.
-Wait, are you serious?
-DAD: I am strong.
You're just gonna
leave him like this?
-I am strong. I am loved.
-(SIGHS) Sorry.
How we doing over here, guys?
I've been better.
PRESTON: How was
that cold salad, Duncan?
(DUNCAN GROANS)
Is that spot for you, okay?
-Duncan? Whoa, Duncan!
-(DUNCAN GROANS PAINFULLY)
PRESTON: Duncan! Duncan, stop!
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
This salad bowl reeks
of nuts, Preston!
-(GROANS PAINFULLY)
-Duncan. Whoa! Duncan. Duncan!
-I am strong. I am loved
-Dad! Dad!
Duncan's having
an allergic reaction!
-I am strong. I am loved.
-(DUNCAN GROANS PAINFULLY)
-Dad, please.
-DAD: I am strong. I am loved.
I don't know what to do.
-I am loved.
-(REFLECTIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I try to put on a strong face
for you and the fellas.
But deep down, I guess I'm just
a scared little boy.
TRISTAN: Duncan! Whoa!
-Whoa, Duncan!
-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
TRISTAN: Whoa, whoa! Duncan!
-DAD: Hmm.
-TRISTAN: Duncan, stop!
-(DUNCAN GROANS)
-TRISTAN: Don't do it again!
It's not an allergic reaction.
His ears aren't popping.
-Preston, did you pack any gum?
-Yeah?
The change in air pressure,
of course. I'm on it..
Crap, I'm not seeing it.
I've got some,
but it's in my carrier.
(SEATBELT CLACKS)
Sir, the captain
has asked all passengers
to remain seated.
Sir, it is for your safety
and for the safety
of everyone around you.
It's the blue bag. Small pocket.
(TENSE MUSIC NOTE) ♪
They're all blue.
-Sir! Sir!
-(BAGS THUD)
-How's he doing?
-It's not looking good.
He's hanging in there, Dad.
Stay the course.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
(RUMBLING)
-Sir, I'm warning you!
-Screw this, I'm helping you.
Preston, I'm so proud of you
for taking charge,
but I'm gonna take it from here.
What I need from you now
is to be there
for your brothers.
-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-You got it, Dad.
-Sir!
-(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-Ha! Got it!
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
(MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(BEADS CLINKING)
(ETHEREAL RINGING)
(MYSTICAL VOCALIZATIONS) ♪
-(MUSIC FADES) ♪
-(RUMBLING)
-Preston.
-Tristan.
Duncan, open up. Don't fight it.
(DUNCAN GROANS)
(MUNCHES, SIGHS)
Welcome back
to the world of the living.
He's gonna need
some serious R&R.
(PA DINGS)
Hark! The herald angels sing ♪
Glory to the newborn King ♪
ELF: (OVER TV)
I told you I was a real elf.
Peace on earth, and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled ♪
These key cards are tricky.
How's he doing?
I think we're gonna
book this guy a massage.
He's still a little tight.
Here, drink this.
Put me down for one too, then.
Well, if you get one,
then I'm definitely getting one.
What do you say, Dad? You in?
Oh, no. You boys go ahead.
I think I'm just gonna read
by the pool.
-Soak up some rays.
-(QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Dad, if anyone deserves
a massage, it's you.
I'll second that.
You take such good care
of us, Dad.
Mom will be so proud
of how you're raising
her three baby boys.
(CHUCKLES) 'Cause sometimes
we can definitely be a handful.
-(DAD COUGHS)
-Let us book you
an appointment, Dad.
-(DOOR KNOCKS)
-(MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) ♪
Hmm. I wonder who that could be.
Glory to the newborn King ♪
I was just checking
in downstairs
and I saw your brother
in the gift shop.
(SIGHS) It's Tristan.
(HESITATES)
I just wanted to apologize
for what happened up there.
If my daughter's ears
were popping,
I probably would have done
the same thing.
TRISTAN: There must be three
or four snorkels in here.
And snacks. Dude, seriously?
And don't worry,
they're all peanut free.
Anyway, I'm just staying
for the night.
Then it's back up
in the air for me.
Hopefully, we won't catch
that nasty tailwind flying back.
-Oh my God.
-(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
That was something else,
wasn't it?
Oh, sorry. This pool toy
is actually for my daughter.
I'm excited to see her
whenever I get back home.
Would you like to get a massage
with the four of us?
Oh, I
I wouldn't wanna impose.
-You wouldn't be imposing.
-You're our guest.
Then it's settled.
I gotta ask,
how did you raise
such thoughtful, caring boys?
My advice?
Just show them love
from one father to another.
We are strong. We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
ALL: We are strong.
We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
We are strong. We are loved.
-We are strong.
-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪