Heated Rivalry (2025) s01e04 Episode Script
Rose
1
Previously on Heated Rivalry
Why the fuck did you think it was OK
to sext me before the game?
(CROWD CHEERING)
You were hard, weren't you?
(MOANING)
Wow! This Montreal girl
works you up, brother.
You're straight up blushing, Roz.
Never in life have I blushed.
Russians do not do this.
Obviously, we won't see each
other during the Games, right?
Russia has been eliminated
from medal contention.
A hard pill to swallow for Ilya Rozanov.
How are you not ashamed?
I'm ashamed, Father.
You didn't answer my text.
Go away, Hollander.
We are not anything.
What the fuck do you want, Rozanov?
You won't even acknowledge I exist,
so, yeah, what the fuck do
you actually want from me?
I need
Tell me.
I need you.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Marleau cutting through center.
Drops it back for
Rozanov, who's all alone.
Rozanov dekes, he scores!
(CROWD CHEERING)
Hollander on the ice for both
of Rozanov's goals tonight.
Having a good night?
That's nice. I think there's
still time for a hat trick.
Should I do now or
wait till last second?
'Cause I don't know. Last
second is more fun, but
Rozanov scores!
Hollander is really gonna
want that last one back.
The Montreal captain wants
this whole night back.
(MY MOON MY MAN BY FEIST)
(PHONE DINGING)
My moon, my man, so changeable ♪
And such a loveable lamb to me ♪
My care, my coat
leave on a high note ♪
There's nowhere to go but on ♪
Heart on my sleeve,
not where it should be ♪
The song's out of key again ♪
My moon's white face,
what day and what phase ♪
It's the calendar page again ♪
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
And shed some light, shed
some light on me please ♪
And show me that label!
All right! And that's
where we freeze camera!
And that's our commercial!
All right, guys. Let's reset this.
New cans. New cans.
Shut your eyes.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
My moon and me, not
as good as we've been ♪
It's the dirtiest clean I know ♪
My care, my coat
leave on a high note ♪
(MOANING)
There's nowhere to go ♪
Yeah, yeah!
There's nowhere to go ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
(MOANING)
Shed some light on me please ♪
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
And shed some light ♪
Shed some light on me please ♪
For the first time in 16 years,
the Montreal Metros are
hoisting the MLH Cup.
What a feeling it must be
for captain Shane Hollander!
(PHONE DINGING)
My moon ♪
The moon and my man ♪
My moon ♪
The moon and my man ♪
All right, Shane, you
good? You ready to go?
- Am I walking
- Do the same thing.
That's great, Shane.
Look over your shoulder.
You look great! Take
a look at the camera.
Directly into the camera.
Hit that mark and give
me that pose. That's it.
There's nowhere to go but up ♪
Heart on my sleeve ♪
Not where it should be ♪
The song's out of key again ♪
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
And shed some light, shed
some light on me please ♪
(ALL CHEERING)
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
Ah, no! It should have been me!
Blah!
♪
(ANNOUNCER): Can we call it a dynasty?
Shane Hollander and the Montreal Metros
are your MLH champions for
the second year in a row.
Not since Chicago in the late '90s
have we seen a team take
home back-to-back cups.
My care, my coat ♪
(PHONE DINGING)
There's nowhere to go ♪
There's nowhere to go ♪
Take it slow ♪
Take it easy on me ♪
And shed some light, shed
some light on me please ♪
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
And shed some light, shed
some light on me please ♪
♪
Well, I like him,
but he was the kid Mom was bullying
because he was the worst player.
He had no hand-eye coord
♪
My moon ♪
The moon and my man ♪
My moon ♪
- Purple.
- Right!
What color is a cucumber?
Sorry, Shane, can we
Yeah, sorry, we're just
We're gonna roll now.
OK, that's right. OK,
wow, that's the stuff!
That's the money, my friend.
My moon ♪
(PHONE VIBRATING)
The moon and my man ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SKATES WHOOSHING)
- She's what?
- Pregnant.
Jacki's pregnant.
- Again?
- Jesus Christ, man.
You gotta work on your lying.
"Hayden, what great news!"
"Hayden, I'm so happy for you!"
No, I mean, a fourth kid,
that's awesome, man. Really.
Holy shit, dude.
(GIRL): You can't find me!
Ruby! Emma! Slow down!
I mean, she's fucking bored, right?
Fair enough.
- Come here!
- Ruby
- Ruby!
- How do you know it's Ruby?
'Cause she's a beast.
So?
So what?
So when are you gonna
join me in this nightmare?
You want to get me pregnant too?
I don't think I'm ready.
I think I still have some
good hockey left in me.
You're an asshole. You ever
talk to that ex of yours?
What was it, Jennifer?
- Uh, Jessica.
- Jessica!
You ever hit that?
Don't say "hit that."
Sorry, Virgin Mary.
I'm not
Here, tag! You are it.
Let's go see Uncle Shane!
Oh, yeah!
Look, I'm just saying, man,
if you ever do, you could
bring her around, you know?
We'd do couple stuff. It'd be fun.
I'm not I mean, she's
I don't see her anymore.
I think she's engaged or something.
Fair enough. So, um
Jacki has this friend, right?
- Hayd
- What? Dude, she's fucking hot.
She teaches, like,
mommy yoga or something.
Maybe it's just stretching,
but she's fucking hot.
- And she's funny.
- Swear jar, two times.
- Oh, fuck.
- Three.
OK, come on, man. Why not?
Can I just show you her Insta?
- Fine.
- Yes! OK, good.
Jacki will be happy.
We both have to make
your wife happy now?
Yeah, damn right we do.
If you want her to make your gross food
and keep my house
stocked with ginger ale.
- Stop it!
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
Ruby, you're gonna kill her.
(GIRLS SHOUTING IN DISTANCE)
(BABY FUSSING)
Tell your dad to leave me alone.
Um, excuse me?
Are you Shane Hollander?
Yeah.
Oh my God!
Can we get a picture with you?
Um, I kind of have my
hands full at the moment.
Um, could you hold his
baby for him, please,
so we can get a picture?
"Hold his baby"?
I'm sorry, buddy!
Hey, first of all, it's my fucking baby.
Four times.
And second Wait,
do I have all the kids?
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
Oh, you're the worst one!
You can't say stuff like that to her.
It's true. Second, they didn't
even fucking recognize me.
Ding, ding, ding! We've hit five times.
That's when I'm supposed to text Jacki.
- I'm telling on you, Daddy!
- Narc!
Narc, narc!
I'm getting a vasectomy.
Way too late.
(WOMAN ON TV): But this is Shane
Hollander's fortress of solitude.
Here in Eastern Quebec
is the house he had
built on a private lake.
It's my favorite place on Earth.
My parents' cottage,
where I spent summers,
is 10 minutes away.
I'm ready.
Unless you've decided we
should stay in and watch
whatever this is.
Sorry.
It's so fucking boring I
almost fell into a coma.
Mmm.
He's fucking hot, though.
(CHUCKLING)
Are you seeing anyone these days?
Are you jealous?
No. I think you know
me better than that.
So there's no one serious?
Nope.
Not even Jane?
What?
You've been texting for years.
I thought maybe it was serious.
Or something.
It's not serious.
Or anything.
OK.
Sasha says hi.
I'm, uh, heading out for a bit.
Cool.
Uh, to meet a friend.
Nice!
I'll be back later.
I won't wait up.
It's not like that.
It's just a a friend.
So Lily's just a buddy?
What?
Chill. I know you text a Lily.
I don't.
OK, go get laid, weirdo.
Or don't. I don't care.
I hope you do. You play better after.
Go fuck yourself.
Oh, I plan to. Probably more than once.
Love a hotel room.
- Gross.
- Bye!
Oh!
Oh yeah!
(DOORBELL RINGING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Do I take my shoes off?
No, you're good.
Wow.
Wow!
This place is great.
Did you get this built,
or do you know who did?
Mr. Real Estate.
That's not what I meant. I just
You think we need to talk?
No, after.
OK.
(BOTH MOANING)
Oh!
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
I should go.
Or you could stay.
Stay?
Here tonight.
I'm not done with you.
And we have afternoon game tomorrow,
so no morning practice.
I told Hayden.
Is Hayden your mother?
No.
No, he's not?
Fuck off.
Who cares what you told Hayden?
Stay.
OK.
OK?
OK.
Mmm.
I'm hungry.
For what?
For food, pervert.
Hey.
You like tuna melt?
You want to make me a tuna melt?
I was gonna make one
for me. I can make two.
You head to Florida after this, right?
Yeah, right after the game.
Tampa, then Sunrise,
then we go to Dallas and St. Louis.
Ah, all the hot spots.
(CHUCKLING)
Ginger ale cold enough?
Yeah, it's great.
Good.
Food will be ready soon.
(ANNOUNCER TALKING ON TV)
Jesus Christ!
You know this guy, Ryan Price?
Yeah, from playing against him
and not wanting to fight him.
You did a season with him, right?
Mmm. He is not what you would think.
How so?
Like, he's quiet.
Doesn't talk. Keeps to himself.
Not bad guy. Doesn't make friends.
Well, he gets traded every season.
Tough to make friends that way.
Probably he wants to get traded again.
Buffalo is terrible.
Yeah, and their team sucks too.
(CHUCKLING)
And people say you're not funny.
They do?
Yeah. They say you're boring, too.
Who says that?
Me.
What's your, uh,
favorite city to play in?
- On the road?
- Mmm
I like New York, 'cause it's New York.
They fucking hate me there.
They hate you everywhere.
No, not Florida.
It's full of Boston people.
And you?
Uh, I like Ottawa,
'cause it's my hometown.
Toronto, Winnipeg
I'm happy they have a team again.
(CHUCKLING)
What, are those boring answers?
Yes.
Well, I like the hot places too.
Mmm.
Hot, like weather hot.
Ah, OK.
LA is hot.
Hot women.
Yeah, sure. I mean, there
are hot women everywhere.
There is a girl I like
here very much, Svetlana.
Oh?
She's old friend, from Russia.
Her father was famous
goaltender of Soviet team.
She knows everything about hockey.
Cool.
And she likes you very much.
Oh.
That's nice.
(CHUCKLING)
So she's, like, your girlfriend?
No, no. Nothing like that.
She's old friend.
Sometimes we fuck, but
she's busy these days, you know,
new business selling fancy cars.
Sounds perfect for you.
Yes, it's close to that, but
But what?
(INHALING DEEPLY)
But it's nothing more
than that for either of us.
But it's nice to have regular
woman like that around.
You think she's the only woman
in Boston who'd sleep with you?
Mmm.
I think I will find someone else.
But you know me.
I'm lazy, so
I don't know that side of you at all.
(TIMER BEEPING)
No, stay, stay.
I'll get it.
You like them?
Yeah.
Girls.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Of course I do.
I never hear about you with girls.
I mean, it's private.
Right, private.
I keep a lot of things private.
Obviously.
I like girls.
Yeah, no shit.
But I also like you.
Lucky me.
Not as person, of course.
Of course not, I'm boring.
But you have a good mouth.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
Sorry. Here.
Hello, Father.
Yes, I got your message.
(ANNOUNCER TALKING ON TV)
I did answer you, Father.
We spoke yesterday.
Father
Father, where is Alexei?
My brother Alexei.
Is he there with you?
Are you alone?
Is Polina there?
Polina, she is your wife.
Father, stay calm.
I will call Alexei.
I will call him.
Where the fuck are you?
Dad is alone and he's freaking out.
I fucking pay you to be
there with him, you asshole!
(SIGHING)
You still hungry?
No, but thank you.
That was great.
Good.
How is your father?
Ah, you speak Russian now?
I know the word for father.
(TURNS DOWN VOLUME)
(BOTH MOANING)
Oh, fuck.
(MOANING LOUDLY)
Oh, fuck, Hollander!
You gonna cum for me, Rozanov?
Fucking make me.
Oh!
(TALKING, INDISTINCT)
Oh, fuck, Shane!
Ah!
Ilya
Ah
I should
I should, uh
I should go.
I should
Go?
I should
Stay I can't.
Team meeting in the
morning. I forgot. So
OK.
You forgot team meeting?
Thank you for the tuna melt.
Hmm.
Um
Uh
I'm sorry.
This I can't.
Hollander.
I just
I can't, uh
I can't do this.
Hollander.
I'm sorry.
(LIVELY MELODY ON PA)
Are we expecting someone else?
Oh, no, it's just the
three of us. Thank you.
Honey, have you decided about Wimbledon?
Rolex really wants you there.
I think they're worried their
box is too tennis-y, I think.
Does that mean too white?
I thought you liked
your deal with Rolex.
I do.
Well, you certainly love the money,
and they're great seats.
I mean, they're next to a prince,
or, no, actually, a Swedish princess.
I don't think I should skip training.
Well, meeting a Swedish
princess could be fun, right?
I don't have time for
that right now, Mom.
- All my time is scheduled.
- I just meant
I get, like, two weeks off a year.
I don't want to spend it
next to someone I don't know,
trying to make conversation about what?
Swedish politics?
- OK.
- Can I get anyone a drink?
We'll take this Chablis, please.
Three glasses?
Uh, I'll have a ginger ale, please.
Oh, we don't have that. Sparkling water?
Sure, thank you.
I'm sure you could have a
glass of wine if that's what
No, I can't.
Not during the season.
Shane
Yeah?
Is everything all right?
Why? 'Cause I don't want wine?
Well, you just seem tense.
I'm fine.
Well, I think a little trip to
London next summer for Wimbledon,
just the three of us, would be fun.
And I think you should think about it.
We could make a week of it.
Go to a play, see Big Ben.
You loved it when you were a kid.
You guys should go.
You'd have a great time.
You're the tennis fan, Dad.
They're not gonna send
us the tickets, honey.
It's you they want.
We're just the parents.
You're the main attraction.
Well, then I'll just
lie, tell them I'm coming.
They won't kick you out,
and you can just tell
them I'm sick or something.
Honey, I I I
don't want you to lie.
That's not who you are.
Sorry. I'm in a weird mood.
It's OK.
Anything you want to talk about?
Let's, um Let's think about London.
Maybe it could be fun.
I'm just gonna use the washroom.
A Swedish princess?
(SIGHING)
I don't know.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
Hey, man.
(MAN): Hollander, what the
fuck are you doing right now?
I was about to
Bullshit! Get your ass
to the Mile End, baby!
My buddy François, the
chef, you remember him?
Oh, yeah?
He's having an after hours
thing at his restaurant.
- And get this
- JJ
The cast of the X Squad movie
they're filming in town is here.
All of them?
I don't fucking know. Get down here!
You remember the restaurant,
right? Le Tambour?
I don't know
(UPBEAT POP ON PA)
Yes, you bitch!
Good to see you!
OK, guys, this one never
leaves his fucking house.
Tonight is a miracle!
Shane.
(HIP-HOP ON PA)
Uh, do you have any ginger ale?
I mean, I do, but
Actually, just a beer, please,
whatever you have on tap.
Shane Hollander can
have whatever he wants.
You keep it then.
It's an honor.
Cool crowd, huh?
You kidding? A bunch of
famous actors are here tonight.
Rose Landry's here, man.
- She is?
- Yeah.
I might be needing another one of these.
(BARTENDER CHUCKLING)
(POP PLAYING ON PA)
(TALKING, INDISTINCT)
(SIGHING)
(WOMAN): Are you here to
help me finish these fries?
The chef gave them to me,
and they are really good.
I'm not gonna fit in my
costume if I eat them all.
Oh, Jesus Christ, these are so good!
I'm Rose, by the way.
I'm Shane.
I'm Wow, I'm a big fan.
Would you be surprised to
know that I'm a fan of yours?
Really?
Mm-hmm.
I'm a Michigan girl with three brothers.
Have a fry, Shane Hollander.
Detroit's not gonna go
easy on you tomorrow night.
Uh, I was 8,
and I played this girl who gets
kidnapped and held for ransom.
- Wow.
- By Bill Paxton.
That is terrible.
He was actually pretty nice to me.
And it was good practice.
Getting kidnapped?
I've been kidnapped in
no less than four movies,
including the one I'm doing right now.
Fuck! You
You didn't hear that.
They will literally have me murdered
if they find out I told you.
My lips are sealed.
OK. Your turn.
Well, I've never been kidnapped.
I mean, there have been threats, but
No, not what I meant.
Shane Hollander, 8 years old.
Paint me a picture.
Well, I'm definitely
on the ice somewhere.
The scouting and crazy stuff
didn't start for another couple years,
so I'm probably just having fun.
Did it stop being fun?
No.
Well, I mean, kind of.
I love it, but it got more intense,
so I guess I kinda got more intense too,
if that makes sense.
Yeah, it does.
And I bet that being the only Asian kid
didn't make it less intense.
I wasn't the only one.
There was one other.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
He hated me, though.
Hmm.
I have a Western last name,
so it's like the other kids
kind of forgot to make fun of me.
And I bet you were pretty
fucking good too, right?
I was all right.
Hmm.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
John tapped out at NCAA.
Thank you.
But he still made it to the
frozen four with Princeton.
That's amazing.
He's an agent now, naturally.
Uh, and Peter's in the
AHL, undrafted, but hey.
Still not nothing.
Not nothing indeed.
So, this isn't your first
time in Montreal though, right?
Uh, no.
I was here a few years ago
shooting this horrible FBI movie.
Under Dark? Kidnapped again?
Come on. No!
I I fly a lot. I
watch a lot of movies.
- That movie is so bad.
- It's not great.
No, it's horrible.
You were really good in it.
- I'm so bad in it.
- No, you're good.
Well, I'm barely in it.
I was here for a week,
and it was the summer.
Mmm. Kind of different in
the winter though, right?
Michigan, remember?
Your winter doesn't scare me.
So, um, are you gonna be in
town a little while this time?
(EN DEDANS BY RICHY JAY)
Put it on my visa ♪
Don't want you to go, oh ♪
Girl, you my love, oh ♪
Take you inside to show you I'm real ♪
I'm real ♪
Ploge avem ♪
Baby, I wanna be dancing with you ♪
Kouche avem ♪
Baby girl, follow me go ♪
I will be taking you home ♪
♪
Roz, Roz, you gotta see this.
You're gonna shit, man.
- Show him.
- Mm-hmm.
No!
I know, right? She's a
huge fucking movie star.
How did he even meet her?
She's shooting in Montreal.
How the fuck do you know that?
It says it right there.
"The two met at a mutual friend's party,
according to unnamed sources.
'I've never seen Rose this happy,'
the source goes on to say."
I'd be fucking happy if
I was banging Rose Landry.
(C'EST TOI BY SATINE)
(ANNOUNCER): And there's Rose Landry
wearing a Shane Hollander jersey.
That's gonna upset some Detroit fans.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Seems to be getting a reaction
out of the Metro's bench.
No confirmation yet
from Rose Landry's camp,
but the star seems quite happy
to let tongues wag about her new love,
as long as he doesn't spoil anything
about the highly
anticipated X Squad sequel.
Movie stars and athletes
seem to have a hard time
resisting each other
these days, don't they?
It's hard to blame either one.
They are definitely one hot couple.
They are fire!
Hey, I was watching that!
(SHOUTING, INDISTINCT)
You good, Roz?
Oh, fuck.
I stubbed my toe.
OK, man.
Still jockeying for the top spot
in the Atlantic Division and in
the Eastern Conference at large,
Shane Hollander and the Montreal Metros
will look to put some distance tonight
between themselves and their
arch rivals, the Boston Raiders.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
But we'll see what Ilya
Rozanov has to say about that.
(PLAYERS CHATTING, INDISTINCT)
(PHONE DINGING)
Yo, come on, let's go!
We'll get him, buddy. Little rust.
(ANNOUNCER): In a listless effort,
the visiting Boston Raiders
managed four shots on
goal in the third period.
If you can call 1-0 a victory,
and I guess Montreal will
take what they can get tonight.
But where on the ice
was Shane Hollander?
Where was Ilya Rozanov?
♪
Fuck this shit.
I need to get laid. Let's go out.
Where?
We're in Montreal. We
find a fucking club.
Tell people!
I'm on it.
Jesus fucking Christ.
(ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID BY T.A.T.U.)
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Hi, handsome.
(CHUCKLING)
Good game tonight, babe.
No, it wasn't.
No, it wasn't, but you won.
I need a beer.
I bet you do.
Did you watch the game too?
Yeah, I watched a few
clips on Rose's phone,
but it was a sweaty blur.
Miles! Don't be terrible.
I have no problem watching sweaty blurs.
OK, I want to dance.
Oh, I don't know. I'm beat, man.
Come on! I never get to dance.
OK, that is a lie.
Hey, I want to dance with Shane.
That makes two of us.
Come on. Miles, get us champagne.
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Sorry about them. Can
I have one more please?
This is not enough ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
And I'm all mixed up,
feeling cornered and rushed ♪
They say it's my fault
but I want her so much ♪
Want to fly her away
where the sun and rain ♪
Come in over my face,
wash away all the shame ♪
When they stop and
stare, don't worry me ♪
'Cause I'm feeling for her
what she's feeling for me ♪
I can try to pretend
I can try to forget ♪
But it's driving me
mad, going out of my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
I gotta go to the bathroom.
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
I'm in serious shit ♪
I feel totally lost ♪
If I'm asking for
help it's only because ♪
Being with you has opened my eyes ♪
Could I ever believe
such a perfect surprise? ♪
I keep asking myself ♪
Wondering how I keep closing my eyes ♪
But I can't block you out ♪
Want to fly to a place
where it's just you and me ♪
Nobody else, so we can be free ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
(MOANING)
(MOANING)
(SHANE MOANING)
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
I'm in serious shit ♪
I feel totally lost ♪
If I'm asking for
help it's only because ♪
Being with you ♪
Has opened my eyes ♪
Could I ever believe
such a perfect surprise? ♪
I keep asking myself, wondering how ♪
I keep closing my eyes
but I can't block you out ♪
Want to fly to a place
where it's just you and me ♪
Previously on Heated Rivalry
Why the fuck did you think it was OK
to sext me before the game?
(CROWD CHEERING)
You were hard, weren't you?
(MOANING)
Wow! This Montreal girl
works you up, brother.
You're straight up blushing, Roz.
Never in life have I blushed.
Russians do not do this.
Obviously, we won't see each
other during the Games, right?
Russia has been eliminated
from medal contention.
A hard pill to swallow for Ilya Rozanov.
How are you not ashamed?
I'm ashamed, Father.
You didn't answer my text.
Go away, Hollander.
We are not anything.
What the fuck do you want, Rozanov?
You won't even acknowledge I exist,
so, yeah, what the fuck do
you actually want from me?
I need
Tell me.
I need you.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Marleau cutting through center.
Drops it back for
Rozanov, who's all alone.
Rozanov dekes, he scores!
(CROWD CHEERING)
Hollander on the ice for both
of Rozanov's goals tonight.
Having a good night?
That's nice. I think there's
still time for a hat trick.
Should I do now or
wait till last second?
'Cause I don't know. Last
second is more fun, but
Rozanov scores!
Hollander is really gonna
want that last one back.
The Montreal captain wants
this whole night back.
(MY MOON MY MAN BY FEIST)
(PHONE DINGING)
My moon, my man, so changeable ♪
And such a loveable lamb to me ♪
My care, my coat
leave on a high note ♪
There's nowhere to go but on ♪
Heart on my sleeve,
not where it should be ♪
The song's out of key again ♪
My moon's white face,
what day and what phase ♪
It's the calendar page again ♪
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
And shed some light, shed
some light on me please ♪
And show me that label!
All right! And that's
where we freeze camera!
And that's our commercial!
All right, guys. Let's reset this.
New cans. New cans.
Shut your eyes.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
My moon and me, not
as good as we've been ♪
It's the dirtiest clean I know ♪
My care, my coat
leave on a high note ♪
(MOANING)
There's nowhere to go ♪
Yeah, yeah!
There's nowhere to go ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
(MOANING)
Shed some light on me please ♪
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
And shed some light ♪
Shed some light on me please ♪
For the first time in 16 years,
the Montreal Metros are
hoisting the MLH Cup.
What a feeling it must be
for captain Shane Hollander!
(PHONE DINGING)
My moon ♪
The moon and my man ♪
My moon ♪
The moon and my man ♪
All right, Shane, you
good? You ready to go?
- Am I walking
- Do the same thing.
That's great, Shane.
Look over your shoulder.
You look great! Take
a look at the camera.
Directly into the camera.
Hit that mark and give
me that pose. That's it.
There's nowhere to go but up ♪
Heart on my sleeve ♪
Not where it should be ♪
The song's out of key again ♪
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
And shed some light, shed
some light on me please ♪
(ALL CHEERING)
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
Ah, no! It should have been me!
Blah!
♪
(ANNOUNCER): Can we call it a dynasty?
Shane Hollander and the Montreal Metros
are your MLH champions for
the second year in a row.
Not since Chicago in the late '90s
have we seen a team take
home back-to-back cups.
My care, my coat ♪
(PHONE DINGING)
There's nowhere to go ♪
There's nowhere to go ♪
Take it slow ♪
Take it easy on me ♪
And shed some light, shed
some light on me please ♪
Take it slow, take it easy on me ♪
And shed some light, shed
some light on me please ♪
♪
Well, I like him,
but he was the kid Mom was bullying
because he was the worst player.
He had no hand-eye coord
♪
My moon ♪
The moon and my man ♪
My moon ♪
- Purple.
- Right!
What color is a cucumber?
Sorry, Shane, can we
Yeah, sorry, we're just
We're gonna roll now.
OK, that's right. OK,
wow, that's the stuff!
That's the money, my friend.
My moon ♪
(PHONE VIBRATING)
The moon and my man ♪
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SKATES WHOOSHING)
- She's what?
- Pregnant.
Jacki's pregnant.
- Again?
- Jesus Christ, man.
You gotta work on your lying.
"Hayden, what great news!"
"Hayden, I'm so happy for you!"
No, I mean, a fourth kid,
that's awesome, man. Really.
Holy shit, dude.
(GIRL): You can't find me!
Ruby! Emma! Slow down!
I mean, she's fucking bored, right?
Fair enough.
- Come here!
- Ruby
- Ruby!
- How do you know it's Ruby?
'Cause she's a beast.
So?
So what?
So when are you gonna
join me in this nightmare?
You want to get me pregnant too?
I don't think I'm ready.
I think I still have some
good hockey left in me.
You're an asshole. You ever
talk to that ex of yours?
What was it, Jennifer?
- Uh, Jessica.
- Jessica!
You ever hit that?
Don't say "hit that."
Sorry, Virgin Mary.
I'm not
Here, tag! You are it.
Let's go see Uncle Shane!
Oh, yeah!
Look, I'm just saying, man,
if you ever do, you could
bring her around, you know?
We'd do couple stuff. It'd be fun.
I'm not I mean, she's
I don't see her anymore.
I think she's engaged or something.
Fair enough. So, um
Jacki has this friend, right?
- Hayd
- What? Dude, she's fucking hot.
She teaches, like,
mommy yoga or something.
Maybe it's just stretching,
but she's fucking hot.
- And she's funny.
- Swear jar, two times.
- Oh, fuck.
- Three.
OK, come on, man. Why not?
Can I just show you her Insta?
- Fine.
- Yes! OK, good.
Jacki will be happy.
We both have to make
your wife happy now?
Yeah, damn right we do.
If you want her to make your gross food
and keep my house
stocked with ginger ale.
- Stop it!
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
Ruby, you're gonna kill her.
(GIRLS SHOUTING IN DISTANCE)
(BABY FUSSING)
Tell your dad to leave me alone.
Um, excuse me?
Are you Shane Hollander?
Yeah.
Oh my God!
Can we get a picture with you?
Um, I kind of have my
hands full at the moment.
Um, could you hold his
baby for him, please,
so we can get a picture?
"Hold his baby"?
I'm sorry, buddy!
Hey, first of all, it's my fucking baby.
Four times.
And second Wait,
do I have all the kids?
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
Oh, you're the worst one!
You can't say stuff like that to her.
It's true. Second, they didn't
even fucking recognize me.
Ding, ding, ding! We've hit five times.
That's when I'm supposed to text Jacki.
- I'm telling on you, Daddy!
- Narc!
Narc, narc!
I'm getting a vasectomy.
Way too late.
(WOMAN ON TV): But this is Shane
Hollander's fortress of solitude.
Here in Eastern Quebec
is the house he had
built on a private lake.
It's my favorite place on Earth.
My parents' cottage,
where I spent summers,
is 10 minutes away.
I'm ready.
Unless you've decided we
should stay in and watch
whatever this is.
Sorry.
It's so fucking boring I
almost fell into a coma.
Mmm.
He's fucking hot, though.
(CHUCKLING)
Are you seeing anyone these days?
Are you jealous?
No. I think you know
me better than that.
So there's no one serious?
Nope.
Not even Jane?
What?
You've been texting for years.
I thought maybe it was serious.
Or something.
It's not serious.
Or anything.
OK.
Sasha says hi.
I'm, uh, heading out for a bit.
Cool.
Uh, to meet a friend.
Nice!
I'll be back later.
I won't wait up.
It's not like that.
It's just a a friend.
So Lily's just a buddy?
What?
Chill. I know you text a Lily.
I don't.
OK, go get laid, weirdo.
Or don't. I don't care.
I hope you do. You play better after.
Go fuck yourself.
Oh, I plan to. Probably more than once.
Love a hotel room.
- Gross.
- Bye!
Oh!
Oh yeah!
(DOORBELL RINGING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Do I take my shoes off?
No, you're good.
Wow.
Wow!
This place is great.
Did you get this built,
or do you know who did?
Mr. Real Estate.
That's not what I meant. I just
You think we need to talk?
No, after.
OK.
(BOTH MOANING)
Oh!
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
I should go.
Or you could stay.
Stay?
Here tonight.
I'm not done with you.
And we have afternoon game tomorrow,
so no morning practice.
I told Hayden.
Is Hayden your mother?
No.
No, he's not?
Fuck off.
Who cares what you told Hayden?
Stay.
OK.
OK?
OK.
Mmm.
I'm hungry.
For what?
For food, pervert.
Hey.
You like tuna melt?
You want to make me a tuna melt?
I was gonna make one
for me. I can make two.
You head to Florida after this, right?
Yeah, right after the game.
Tampa, then Sunrise,
then we go to Dallas and St. Louis.
Ah, all the hot spots.
(CHUCKLING)
Ginger ale cold enough?
Yeah, it's great.
Good.
Food will be ready soon.
(ANNOUNCER TALKING ON TV)
Jesus Christ!
You know this guy, Ryan Price?
Yeah, from playing against him
and not wanting to fight him.
You did a season with him, right?
Mmm. He is not what you would think.
How so?
Like, he's quiet.
Doesn't talk. Keeps to himself.
Not bad guy. Doesn't make friends.
Well, he gets traded every season.
Tough to make friends that way.
Probably he wants to get traded again.
Buffalo is terrible.
Yeah, and their team sucks too.
(CHUCKLING)
And people say you're not funny.
They do?
Yeah. They say you're boring, too.
Who says that?
Me.
What's your, uh,
favorite city to play in?
- On the road?
- Mmm
I like New York, 'cause it's New York.
They fucking hate me there.
They hate you everywhere.
No, not Florida.
It's full of Boston people.
And you?
Uh, I like Ottawa,
'cause it's my hometown.
Toronto, Winnipeg
I'm happy they have a team again.
(CHUCKLING)
What, are those boring answers?
Yes.
Well, I like the hot places too.
Mmm.
Hot, like weather hot.
Ah, OK.
LA is hot.
Hot women.
Yeah, sure. I mean, there
are hot women everywhere.
There is a girl I like
here very much, Svetlana.
Oh?
She's old friend, from Russia.
Her father was famous
goaltender of Soviet team.
She knows everything about hockey.
Cool.
And she likes you very much.
Oh.
That's nice.
(CHUCKLING)
So she's, like, your girlfriend?
No, no. Nothing like that.
She's old friend.
Sometimes we fuck, but
she's busy these days, you know,
new business selling fancy cars.
Sounds perfect for you.
Yes, it's close to that, but
But what?
(INHALING DEEPLY)
But it's nothing more
than that for either of us.
But it's nice to have regular
woman like that around.
You think she's the only woman
in Boston who'd sleep with you?
Mmm.
I think I will find someone else.
But you know me.
I'm lazy, so
I don't know that side of you at all.
(TIMER BEEPING)
No, stay, stay.
I'll get it.
You like them?
Yeah.
Girls.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Of course I do.
I never hear about you with girls.
I mean, it's private.
Right, private.
I keep a lot of things private.
Obviously.
I like girls.
Yeah, no shit.
But I also like you.
Lucky me.
Not as person, of course.
Of course not, I'm boring.
But you have a good mouth.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
Sorry. Here.
Hello, Father.
Yes, I got your message.
(ANNOUNCER TALKING ON TV)
I did answer you, Father.
We spoke yesterday.
Father
Father, where is Alexei?
My brother Alexei.
Is he there with you?
Are you alone?
Is Polina there?
Polina, she is your wife.
Father, stay calm.
I will call Alexei.
I will call him.
Where the fuck are you?
Dad is alone and he's freaking out.
I fucking pay you to be
there with him, you asshole!
(SIGHING)
You still hungry?
No, but thank you.
That was great.
Good.
How is your father?
Ah, you speak Russian now?
I know the word for father.
(TURNS DOWN VOLUME)
(BOTH MOANING)
Oh, fuck.
(MOANING LOUDLY)
Oh, fuck, Hollander!
You gonna cum for me, Rozanov?
Fucking make me.
Oh!
(TALKING, INDISTINCT)
Oh, fuck, Shane!
Ah!
Ilya
Ah
I should
I should, uh
I should go.
I should
Go?
I should
Stay I can't.
Team meeting in the
morning. I forgot. So
OK.
You forgot team meeting?
Thank you for the tuna melt.
Hmm.
Um
Uh
I'm sorry.
This I can't.
Hollander.
I just
I can't, uh
I can't do this.
Hollander.
I'm sorry.
(LIVELY MELODY ON PA)
Are we expecting someone else?
Oh, no, it's just the
three of us. Thank you.
Honey, have you decided about Wimbledon?
Rolex really wants you there.
I think they're worried their
box is too tennis-y, I think.
Does that mean too white?
I thought you liked
your deal with Rolex.
I do.
Well, you certainly love the money,
and they're great seats.
I mean, they're next to a prince,
or, no, actually, a Swedish princess.
I don't think I should skip training.
Well, meeting a Swedish
princess could be fun, right?
I don't have time for
that right now, Mom.
- All my time is scheduled.
- I just meant
I get, like, two weeks off a year.
I don't want to spend it
next to someone I don't know,
trying to make conversation about what?
Swedish politics?
- OK.
- Can I get anyone a drink?
We'll take this Chablis, please.
Three glasses?
Uh, I'll have a ginger ale, please.
Oh, we don't have that. Sparkling water?
Sure, thank you.
I'm sure you could have a
glass of wine if that's what
No, I can't.
Not during the season.
Shane
Yeah?
Is everything all right?
Why? 'Cause I don't want wine?
Well, you just seem tense.
I'm fine.
Well, I think a little trip to
London next summer for Wimbledon,
just the three of us, would be fun.
And I think you should think about it.
We could make a week of it.
Go to a play, see Big Ben.
You loved it when you were a kid.
You guys should go.
You'd have a great time.
You're the tennis fan, Dad.
They're not gonna send
us the tickets, honey.
It's you they want.
We're just the parents.
You're the main attraction.
Well, then I'll just
lie, tell them I'm coming.
They won't kick you out,
and you can just tell
them I'm sick or something.
Honey, I I I
don't want you to lie.
That's not who you are.
Sorry. I'm in a weird mood.
It's OK.
Anything you want to talk about?
Let's, um Let's think about London.
Maybe it could be fun.
I'm just gonna use the washroom.
A Swedish princess?
(SIGHING)
I don't know.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
Hey, man.
(MAN): Hollander, what the
fuck are you doing right now?
I was about to
Bullshit! Get your ass
to the Mile End, baby!
My buddy François, the
chef, you remember him?
Oh, yeah?
He's having an after hours
thing at his restaurant.
- And get this
- JJ
The cast of the X Squad movie
they're filming in town is here.
All of them?
I don't fucking know. Get down here!
You remember the restaurant,
right? Le Tambour?
I don't know
(UPBEAT POP ON PA)
Yes, you bitch!
Good to see you!
OK, guys, this one never
leaves his fucking house.
Tonight is a miracle!
Shane.
(HIP-HOP ON PA)
Uh, do you have any ginger ale?
I mean, I do, but
Actually, just a beer, please,
whatever you have on tap.
Shane Hollander can
have whatever he wants.
You keep it then.
It's an honor.
Cool crowd, huh?
You kidding? A bunch of
famous actors are here tonight.
Rose Landry's here, man.
- She is?
- Yeah.
I might be needing another one of these.
(BARTENDER CHUCKLING)
(POP PLAYING ON PA)
(TALKING, INDISTINCT)
(SIGHING)
(WOMAN): Are you here to
help me finish these fries?
The chef gave them to me,
and they are really good.
I'm not gonna fit in my
costume if I eat them all.
Oh, Jesus Christ, these are so good!
I'm Rose, by the way.
I'm Shane.
I'm Wow, I'm a big fan.
Would you be surprised to
know that I'm a fan of yours?
Really?
Mm-hmm.
I'm a Michigan girl with three brothers.
Have a fry, Shane Hollander.
Detroit's not gonna go
easy on you tomorrow night.
Uh, I was 8,
and I played this girl who gets
kidnapped and held for ransom.
- Wow.
- By Bill Paxton.
That is terrible.
He was actually pretty nice to me.
And it was good practice.
Getting kidnapped?
I've been kidnapped in
no less than four movies,
including the one I'm doing right now.
Fuck! You
You didn't hear that.
They will literally have me murdered
if they find out I told you.
My lips are sealed.
OK. Your turn.
Well, I've never been kidnapped.
I mean, there have been threats, but
No, not what I meant.
Shane Hollander, 8 years old.
Paint me a picture.
Well, I'm definitely
on the ice somewhere.
The scouting and crazy stuff
didn't start for another couple years,
so I'm probably just having fun.
Did it stop being fun?
No.
Well, I mean, kind of.
I love it, but it got more intense,
so I guess I kinda got more intense too,
if that makes sense.
Yeah, it does.
And I bet that being the only Asian kid
didn't make it less intense.
I wasn't the only one.
There was one other.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
He hated me, though.
Hmm.
I have a Western last name,
so it's like the other kids
kind of forgot to make fun of me.
And I bet you were pretty
fucking good too, right?
I was all right.
Hmm.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
John tapped out at NCAA.
Thank you.
But he still made it to the
frozen four with Princeton.
That's amazing.
He's an agent now, naturally.
Uh, and Peter's in the
AHL, undrafted, but hey.
Still not nothing.
Not nothing indeed.
So, this isn't your first
time in Montreal though, right?
Uh, no.
I was here a few years ago
shooting this horrible FBI movie.
Under Dark? Kidnapped again?
Come on. No!
I I fly a lot. I
watch a lot of movies.
- That movie is so bad.
- It's not great.
No, it's horrible.
You were really good in it.
- I'm so bad in it.
- No, you're good.
Well, I'm barely in it.
I was here for a week,
and it was the summer.
Mmm. Kind of different in
the winter though, right?
Michigan, remember?
Your winter doesn't scare me.
So, um, are you gonna be in
town a little while this time?
(EN DEDANS BY RICHY JAY)
Put it on my visa ♪
Don't want you to go, oh ♪
Girl, you my love, oh ♪
Take you inside to show you I'm real ♪
I'm real ♪
Ploge avem ♪
Baby, I wanna be dancing with you ♪
Kouche avem ♪
Baby girl, follow me go ♪
I will be taking you home ♪
♪
Roz, Roz, you gotta see this.
You're gonna shit, man.
- Show him.
- Mm-hmm.
No!
I know, right? She's a
huge fucking movie star.
How did he even meet her?
She's shooting in Montreal.
How the fuck do you know that?
It says it right there.
"The two met at a mutual friend's party,
according to unnamed sources.
'I've never seen Rose this happy,'
the source goes on to say."
I'd be fucking happy if
I was banging Rose Landry.
(C'EST TOI BY SATINE)
(ANNOUNCER): And there's Rose Landry
wearing a Shane Hollander jersey.
That's gonna upset some Detroit fans.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Seems to be getting a reaction
out of the Metro's bench.
No confirmation yet
from Rose Landry's camp,
but the star seems quite happy
to let tongues wag about her new love,
as long as he doesn't spoil anything
about the highly
anticipated X Squad sequel.
Movie stars and athletes
seem to have a hard time
resisting each other
these days, don't they?
It's hard to blame either one.
They are definitely one hot couple.
They are fire!
Hey, I was watching that!
(SHOUTING, INDISTINCT)
You good, Roz?
Oh, fuck.
I stubbed my toe.
OK, man.
Still jockeying for the top spot
in the Atlantic Division and in
the Eastern Conference at large,
Shane Hollander and the Montreal Metros
will look to put some distance tonight
between themselves and their
arch rivals, the Boston Raiders.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
But we'll see what Ilya
Rozanov has to say about that.
(PLAYERS CHATTING, INDISTINCT)
(PHONE DINGING)
Yo, come on, let's go!
We'll get him, buddy. Little rust.
(ANNOUNCER): In a listless effort,
the visiting Boston Raiders
managed four shots on
goal in the third period.
If you can call 1-0 a victory,
and I guess Montreal will
take what they can get tonight.
But where on the ice
was Shane Hollander?
Where was Ilya Rozanov?
♪
Fuck this shit.
I need to get laid. Let's go out.
Where?
We're in Montreal. We
find a fucking club.
Tell people!
I'm on it.
Jesus fucking Christ.
(ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID BY T.A.T.U.)
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Hi, handsome.
(CHUCKLING)
Good game tonight, babe.
No, it wasn't.
No, it wasn't, but you won.
I need a beer.
I bet you do.
Did you watch the game too?
Yeah, I watched a few
clips on Rose's phone,
but it was a sweaty blur.
Miles! Don't be terrible.
I have no problem watching sweaty blurs.
OK, I want to dance.
Oh, I don't know. I'm beat, man.
Come on! I never get to dance.
OK, that is a lie.
Hey, I want to dance with Shane.
That makes two of us.
Come on. Miles, get us champagne.
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Sorry about them. Can
I have one more please?
This is not enough ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
And I'm all mixed up,
feeling cornered and rushed ♪
They say it's my fault
but I want her so much ♪
Want to fly her away
where the sun and rain ♪
Come in over my face,
wash away all the shame ♪
When they stop and
stare, don't worry me ♪
'Cause I'm feeling for her
what she's feeling for me ♪
I can try to pretend
I can try to forget ♪
But it's driving me
mad, going out of my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
I gotta go to the bathroom.
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
I'm in serious shit ♪
I feel totally lost ♪
If I'm asking for
help it's only because ♪
Being with you has opened my eyes ♪
Could I ever believe
such a perfect surprise? ♪
I keep asking myself ♪
Wondering how I keep closing my eyes ♪
But I can't block you out ♪
Want to fly to a place
where it's just you and me ♪
Nobody else, so we can be free ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
(MOANING)
(MOANING)
(SHANE MOANING)
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
Running through my head ♪
All the things she said,
all the things she said ♪
Running through my head,
running through my head ♪
All the things she said ♪
This is not enough ♪
This is not enough ♪
I'm in serious shit ♪
I feel totally lost ♪
If I'm asking for
help it's only because ♪
Being with you ♪
Has opened my eyes ♪
Could I ever believe
such a perfect surprise? ♪
I keep asking myself, wondering how ♪
I keep closing my eyes
but I can't block you out ♪
Want to fly to a place
where it's just you and me ♪