Leave It to Beaver (1957) s01e04 Episode Script
The Haircut
1
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Narrator] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow.
And Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.
When you're young, there are some things you have to learn.
How to catch a baseball.
And good table manners don't come too easily.
But when you're a boy, loosing things
is one of the few lessons you don't have to learn.
And that's our story tonight on.
Leave It To Beaver.
(happy upbeat music)
What you looking for?
- I lost one of my wings.
- Oh.
(audience laughing)
One of your wings?
Well, one of The Beaver's wings.
That's even more improbable.
I'm working on his costume for the school play.
Miss. Canfield has him playing an angel.
I'm glad to hear he's been promoted,
last year he played a dwarf.
Here we are.
One wing.
Oh, by the way, how is,
how's Beaver reacting to his role?
Does it offend his masculine dignity?
Well, I don't think so.
I think it's upset him a little bit,
Miss. Canfield called this afternoon
and said that he hadn't eaten lunch
at school for three days.
Did he take his lunch money with him?
Oh yes, his whole weeks allowance.
Huh.
I don't like to have him going without his lunch.
Talked to him about it, but I didn't get anywhere.
Ward, would you?
Okay.
All right, sure, I'll talk to him.
Darling, thanks.
You're so good at it.
- Yeah.
[June] Beaver?
Hey Beav, they're calling ya.
I don't think I hear them. (Audience laughing)
[June] Beaver?
Now I think I gotta hear 'em.
(audience laughing)
Now look, Beav, whatever you did,
don't drag me into it.
(audience laughing)
(happy upbeat music)
Now look, Beav.
I know what you told Miss. Canfield.
But just between us men, why didn't you go
to the cafeteria for lunch?
- Just between us men?
- Huh-huh.
I wasn't hungry. (Audience laughing)
Beaver, you know, you've kind of hurt my feelings.
I thought you like your old Dad well enough
to not have any secrets from him.
Now, come on, why didn't you have your lunch?
If I tell ya, you'll be mad at me.
That's ridiculous.
Now, come on, tell me.
I losted my money.
Again! (Audience laughing)
Oh, Beaver.
Your mother and I have been very patient with you.
But this habit of loosing money has got to stop.
I told you, you'd be mad at me.
(audience laughing)
- I'm not mad at you.
Okay, shake.
(chuckling)
Okay, Beaver.
But we've gotta do something about this business
of loosing money.
Couldn't have another chance.
I didn't mean to losted anything.
(audience laughing)
(happy upbeat music)
Oh.
Oh, what took you so long?
Oh, money.
Even with inflation, it takes a while
to spend $23 and 86 cents.
Where are the boys?
Wally's out playing ball somewhere.
I sent The Beaver down to get a haircut.
You sent him to the barber shop?
You know a better place to get a haircut?
(audience laughing)
You know, I figured,
as long as he was gonna be in the school play,
I didn't want him to be a shaggy angel.
What I mean is, did you give him money to get a haircut?
I gave him a dollar and a half for the haircut,
25 cent tip for the barber.
You gave him a dollar and 75 cents,
after the way he's been loosing money?
Ah, Joan, I feel it's important
to give him another chance.
You know, like in the air force.
When a pilot crashes, they send him right back up again.
So he won't loose his nerve.
Beaver won't loose his nerve,
just your money.
(audience laughing)
Ah, I don't know about that.
Don't forget, we had a little talk last night.
Man to man, I don't think it'll happen again.
Anyway, just to make sure,
I buttoned it in his shirt pocket personally.
I told him, told him at least a half dozen times,
how can the Elks beat the Farmers?
Ain't got a man on the team that can bowl over 200.
[Mr. Todd] Yeah, but the Farmers have a new rule.
They can draw on guys in the Sanitation Department.
Their loaded for the finals.
When he gets back, make sure to tell Stanley I was in.
You'll be next, son.
(comical music)
(audience laughing)
Okay, son.
That's two dollars and a quarter, with a shine.
Put it on my tab, Mr. Todd.
Okay, okay, Mr. Todd.
What's the matter?
I'm looking for something.
I think I losted my money.
(audience laughing)
It looks like you founded everything else in town.
Can you give me a haircut anyways?
I've gotta be an angel in school.
Well, I'd like to but Stanley the boss,
is on vacation and he won't let me give a haircut
without money.
Oh.
Put it on my tab.
(audience laughing)
You have a tab?
I might have.
What is a tab?
(audience laughing)
Well, it's a charge account, like Mr. Todd has.
All right, put it on his tab.
(audience laughing)
Oh, I can't do that, son.
Will you give me a haircut for a glass doorknob?
It's hardly scratched at all.
(audience chuckling)
Well, that's a nice looking doorknob,
but I don't think the union will go along with me.
Would the union go along with a couple of lead soldiers?
(audience laughing)
I'm afraid not.
I tell you what we do, son,
suppose I call up your parents
and tell 'em you lost the money
and they'll okay the haircut.
How does that sound?
Yeah.
I think our phones been discontinued.
(audience laughing)
Well then, just suppose you go home
and explain it to your parents,
they'll understand.
After all, anybody can loose money.
Yeah, but not as good as I can.
(audience laughing)
Well.
Thanks anyways.
Guess I'll have to think of something else.
Sorry, son.
Next?
(happy upbeat music)
Stand still Wally!
Trying to fit this.
Gee, Mom, why can't The Beaver model his own wings?
He went to get a haircut and I haven't seen him since.
Well, what if some of the kids walked in
and saw me like this?
Oh, never mind.
Now hold still.
Wally, why aren't you in the school play?
Oh, I'm in it.
What you do?
I hold a sign saying, "Just a minute",
"while the wise men are putting on their beards."
(audience laughing)
Better get your blue suit pressed.
Yeah.
Can I get outta these things now?
Oh, all right, you can get out of these things.
Come on.
[Wally] Boy, it makes me look like a sissy.
Wally?
Have you seen my scissors?
[Wally] No, Mom.
Oh well, they'll turn up.
(scissors snipping)
Hey, Beaver, are you in there?
[Beaver] I'm in here, Wally.
Well, what are you doin'?
[Beaver] I'm not doin' nothing, nothing at all, Wally.
(upbeat music)
(scissors snipping)
Beaver, you come on outta there.
If you don't, I'm gonna tell Dad.
[Beaver] All right.
(audience laughing)
What's that?
A haircut, I think.
(audience laughing)
Wow, you look like Wilson's Airedale,
when he had the mange.
(audience laughing)
Why don't you let Stanley cut your hair?
Stanley wasn't there.
And it was, I losted my money.
What a goof!
How could you loose the money again?
I don't know.
Wait till Dad gets a load of that head.
(audience laughing)
Wally, couldn't you fix it up for me?
Don't be crazy.
I can't give anybody a haircut.
Did you ever give anybody one?
No.
Then how do you know?
(audience laughing)
It's a real small head.
(audience laughing)
Well, I guess I could make it look a little bit better,
than it does now.
Sure you could.
Okay, hand 'em over.
You're a wonderful brother.
(scissors snipping)
(happy upbeat music)
(audience laughing)
(scissors snipping)
[Wally] Well, I think that's about it.
[Beaver] Are you finished?
[Wally] I don't know, but I think I'd better stop.
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
I've never seen one like it, have you?
It's different.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(audience laughing)
How long do you think before it grows back?
At least a week.
Well, I can't hide for a whole week.
(audience laughing)
No.
I'm sorry, Beav.
Oh, that's okay.
It's only your fist haircut,
you'll get better as you go along.
(audience laughing)
What are we gonna do?
They're gonna be awful mad at us when they see it.
Maybe we can think of a way, so they won't see it.
Yeah, let me think.
(thoughtful music)
(comical music)
Well, did you get The Beaver converted to an angel yet?
He wasn't around today,
had to used Wally as a stand-in angel.
When is the big event?
Wednesday night.
Well, honey, I may be a little prejudice,
I think he's gonna be the cutest angel there.
Well, I must admit, I can see why they picked him.
He's so (muffled banging)
Quiet. (Audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
Hi, Dad.
(audience laughing)
Hi, Mom.
What's for supper?
Pot roast, potato pancakes and what's the big idea?
(audience laughing)
I just wanted to know.
Your mother wants to know,
what's the big idea of the caps?
Oh, the caps.
What is the idea of the caps, Wally?
Um, well you see, Dad,
The Beaver and I joined this new club
and for initiation you gotta wear these stocking caps
for a whole week.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, if you take them off, you're uninitiated.
(audience laughing)
Well, if you have to wear them.
Um, what kind of a club is it?
Um, well, it's kind of a secret club, Dad.
You know.
A secret society?
What's the club called?
Um, well, that's kind of a secret too.
(audience laughing)
Oh, you mean the name of the club is a secret?
That's right.
Yeah, they won't even tell us.
(audience laughing)
Do you have to wear those awful caps night
and day for a whole week?
That oughta do it.
(audience laughing)
I think we'd better eat.
(comical music)
We sure fooled 'em, didn't we, Wally?
Yeah, I guess we fooled 'em.
What's the matter?
Well, I'm not so sure we fooled 'em.
She didn't say anything.
Well, that's the way they are sometimes.
You know, they go along nice and easy and smiling,
but all the while, they're gettin' ready to jump on ya.
(audience laughing)
Gee, sometimes Mom and Dad are pretty tricky, aren't they?
No, they're not been tricky,
they just trying to be fair.
And that's what usually messes us up.
(audience laughing)
What do you suppose they're up to,
those skating caps?
I don't know, this secret society business,
sounds pretty fishy to me.
Funny hats, initiation, secret names.
Yeah, you have to be an adult to be silly enough
to join something like that.
(audience laughing)
Ward, do you suppose those hats have anything
to do with the haircut that Beaver was supposed to get?
That's just exactly what I suppose.
He probably lost the money, didn't get the haircut,
then they cooked up this secret society business
to cover up.
What are we gonna do about it?
Do?
I'm gonna go right upstairs and make him take that cap off.
Ward, you can't do that.
After all, if there is a secret club,
that would be a terrible thing to do.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Can't just violate their privacy.
I tell you what we could do.
We could wait till they're asleep
and then sneak up and peek under The Beavers stocking cap.
Then if we're wrong, there's no harm done.
Ward, wouldn't that be downright sneaky?
Sure, it would.
It's the only way we can survive as parents.
(audience laughing)
(comical music)
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
Ward, let me see?
I think it's better if you don't look.
(audience laughing)
Ward, I wanna see.
All right.
(muffled yelling) (audience laughing)
It's all right.
Come on, don't worry about it.
He'll be all right.
There you go.
You feel better now?
Did you see my little baby?
My poor little bald headed angel.
(audience laughing)
No wonder I couldn't find my scissors.
Oh, well, it'll grow back.
Oh yes, but not in time for the school play.
Oh, Ward, we're gonna be disgraced,
we'll just have to send him away somewhere.
Well, it's bad enough about the play,
but I don't like him trying to get away
with something like this.
Boy, when I was a kid,
my father would've whaled the tar outta me.
Now, Ward.
Well, don't worry,
I'm not gonna resort to physical violence.
I'm tempted though.
What are we gonna do?
Well, I guess there's nothing we can do,
except lay our cards on the table
and get him the chance to tell the truth.
Well, come on, time to turn in.
Agh! (Audience laughing)
What's the matter?
I just thought of his head again.
(audience laughing)
Come on.
(comical music)
(upbeat music)
Morning, boys.
Boys, I wanna talk to you.
Now, Beaver, yesterday I gave you a dollar and 75 cents
to get a haircut, is that right?
Yes, sir.
Did you get a haircut?
I sure did.
(audience laughing)
At the barber shop?
I went to the barber shop.
[Ward] Did you get a haircut there?
I got a haircut all right.
(audience laughing)
Beaver, did you get a haircut at the barber shop?
I went to the barber shop
and I got a haircut.
(audience laughing)
[Ward] Beaver, take off that cap.
I can't, it's ishiation for the secret club.
(audience laughing)
Tell 'em, Wally.
There is no secret club.
Please remove that cap.
(audience laughing) (gasping)
All right, Beaver.
Is this the haircut the barber gave you
at the barber shop yesterday?
No, sir.
Did you give yourself this haircut.
Excuse me.
(audience laughing)
[Ward] I said, did you give yourself this haircut?
Not exactly.
Wally, what you know about this haircut.
Well, I think it'll grow back in a week.
(audience laughing)
I'm very sorry, boys, but this time,
I'm really going to have to punish you.
Beaver, it would have been very easy for me to forgive you,
if you had just stood up and said,
"Dad, I lost my money and Wally gave me the haircut."
Dad, I lost the money and Wally gave me the haircut.
(audience laughing)
I'm sorry, but it's too late for that now.
You better both go up to your room and wait there,
while your mother and I decide what to do about this.
I just cannot understand it.
I have tried so hard to win their confidence,
to prove to them that I'm on their side.
Why should they lie to me?
Certainly it isn't my fault.
It certainly is.
No man has ever tried harder to be a buddy to
(audience laughing)
What did you say?
It certainly is your fault and mine.
Ward, don't you realize what a spot we put him on.
Well, that's ridiculous.
Put yourself in his place.
He looses his lunch money three days in a row
and then after been warned that this is his last chance,
he looses his haircut money.
Naturally he's afraid to tell us.
What's so natural about it.
Are we monsters?
Do we hit 'em?
Do we beat 'em?
Ward, the only guide the little fellow has
is the love and approval of his parents,
now if he thinks he's lost that,
it's worse than a beating.
Oh, I don't know.
Look, he was afraid to tell us the truth wasn't he.
Yeah.
Who's frightening him, if it isn't you and me?
I guess, that one of the troubles with been a parent.
You love your kids so much,
you scare the pants of 'em.
(happy upbeat music)
You know somethin', Wally?
What?
I think we would've got away with that secret club,
if we had a name for it.
(audience laughing)
Cut it out.
What do you think they're gonna do to us?
I don't know.
You should've told 'em in the first place,
you lost your money.
Yeah, then we wouldn't be in this mess.
Yeah, we.
(audience laughing)
Why did I have to go and help ya.
I'm glad you did.
It's a lot better been in a mess with somebody else.
(audience laughing)
Oh-oh, here they come.
Yeah, here they come.
(audience laughing)
I brought you the comics.
Thanks, Dad.
Your father and I,
well, we've been talking over this haircut business.
And we decided not to punish you.
You're not gonna punish us?
[Ward] That's right.
How come?
Well, for a lot of reasons, Beaver.
But mainly, because we want you to feel
that you can come to me or to your mother at any time,
with any problem and we'll understand.
Now, come on, let's get dressed,
we're gonna go out for breakfast.
That's great, Dad.
Yeah, that's great, Dad.
And afterwards, we might even take in a movie.
You think it's a trick, Wally?
(audience laughing)
No.
Just can't ever figure 'em out, that's all.
You know something, though, Wally?
What?
I like 'em.
(audience laughing)
Me too.
Come on, let's get dressed.
(happy upbeat music)
Joyful, all ye nations, rise ♪
Join the triumph of the skies ♪
With angelic host proclaim ♪
Christ is born in Bethlehem ♪
(audience laughing)
Hark the herald angels sing ♪
Glory to the new-born King ♪
(upbeat happy music)
("Leave it to Beaver" theme music)
[Narrator] Leave It To Beaver.
Starring Barbara Billingsley,
Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow.
And Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.
When you're young, there are some things you have to learn.
How to catch a baseball.
And good table manners don't come too easily.
But when you're a boy, loosing things
is one of the few lessons you don't have to learn.
And that's our story tonight on.
Leave It To Beaver.
(happy upbeat music)
What you looking for?
- I lost one of my wings.
- Oh.
(audience laughing)
One of your wings?
Well, one of The Beaver's wings.
That's even more improbable.
I'm working on his costume for the school play.
Miss. Canfield has him playing an angel.
I'm glad to hear he's been promoted,
last year he played a dwarf.
Here we are.
One wing.
Oh, by the way, how is,
how's Beaver reacting to his role?
Does it offend his masculine dignity?
Well, I don't think so.
I think it's upset him a little bit,
Miss. Canfield called this afternoon
and said that he hadn't eaten lunch
at school for three days.
Did he take his lunch money with him?
Oh yes, his whole weeks allowance.
Huh.
I don't like to have him going without his lunch.
Talked to him about it, but I didn't get anywhere.
Ward, would you?
Okay.
All right, sure, I'll talk to him.
Darling, thanks.
You're so good at it.
- Yeah.
[June] Beaver?
Hey Beav, they're calling ya.
I don't think I hear them. (Audience laughing)
[June] Beaver?
Now I think I gotta hear 'em.
(audience laughing)
Now look, Beav, whatever you did,
don't drag me into it.
(audience laughing)
(happy upbeat music)
Now look, Beav.
I know what you told Miss. Canfield.
But just between us men, why didn't you go
to the cafeteria for lunch?
- Just between us men?
- Huh-huh.
I wasn't hungry. (Audience laughing)
Beaver, you know, you've kind of hurt my feelings.
I thought you like your old Dad well enough
to not have any secrets from him.
Now, come on, why didn't you have your lunch?
If I tell ya, you'll be mad at me.
That's ridiculous.
Now, come on, tell me.
I losted my money.
Again! (Audience laughing)
Oh, Beaver.
Your mother and I have been very patient with you.
But this habit of loosing money has got to stop.
I told you, you'd be mad at me.
(audience laughing)
- I'm not mad at you.
Okay, shake.
(chuckling)
Okay, Beaver.
But we've gotta do something about this business
of loosing money.
Couldn't have another chance.
I didn't mean to losted anything.
(audience laughing)
(happy upbeat music)
Oh.
Oh, what took you so long?
Oh, money.
Even with inflation, it takes a while
to spend $23 and 86 cents.
Where are the boys?
Wally's out playing ball somewhere.
I sent The Beaver down to get a haircut.
You sent him to the barber shop?
You know a better place to get a haircut?
(audience laughing)
You know, I figured,
as long as he was gonna be in the school play,
I didn't want him to be a shaggy angel.
What I mean is, did you give him money to get a haircut?
I gave him a dollar and a half for the haircut,
25 cent tip for the barber.
You gave him a dollar and 75 cents,
after the way he's been loosing money?
Ah, Joan, I feel it's important
to give him another chance.
You know, like in the air force.
When a pilot crashes, they send him right back up again.
So he won't loose his nerve.
Beaver won't loose his nerve,
just your money.
(audience laughing)
Ah, I don't know about that.
Don't forget, we had a little talk last night.
Man to man, I don't think it'll happen again.
Anyway, just to make sure,
I buttoned it in his shirt pocket personally.
I told him, told him at least a half dozen times,
how can the Elks beat the Farmers?
Ain't got a man on the team that can bowl over 200.
[Mr. Todd] Yeah, but the Farmers have a new rule.
They can draw on guys in the Sanitation Department.
Their loaded for the finals.
When he gets back, make sure to tell Stanley I was in.
You'll be next, son.
(comical music)
(audience laughing)
Okay, son.
That's two dollars and a quarter, with a shine.
Put it on my tab, Mr. Todd.
Okay, okay, Mr. Todd.
What's the matter?
I'm looking for something.
I think I losted my money.
(audience laughing)
It looks like you founded everything else in town.
Can you give me a haircut anyways?
I've gotta be an angel in school.
Well, I'd like to but Stanley the boss,
is on vacation and he won't let me give a haircut
without money.
Oh.
Put it on my tab.
(audience laughing)
You have a tab?
I might have.
What is a tab?
(audience laughing)
Well, it's a charge account, like Mr. Todd has.
All right, put it on his tab.
(audience laughing)
Oh, I can't do that, son.
Will you give me a haircut for a glass doorknob?
It's hardly scratched at all.
(audience chuckling)
Well, that's a nice looking doorknob,
but I don't think the union will go along with me.
Would the union go along with a couple of lead soldiers?
(audience laughing)
I'm afraid not.
I tell you what we do, son,
suppose I call up your parents
and tell 'em you lost the money
and they'll okay the haircut.
How does that sound?
Yeah.
I think our phones been discontinued.
(audience laughing)
Well then, just suppose you go home
and explain it to your parents,
they'll understand.
After all, anybody can loose money.
Yeah, but not as good as I can.
(audience laughing)
Well.
Thanks anyways.
Guess I'll have to think of something else.
Sorry, son.
Next?
(happy upbeat music)
Stand still Wally!
Trying to fit this.
Gee, Mom, why can't The Beaver model his own wings?
He went to get a haircut and I haven't seen him since.
Well, what if some of the kids walked in
and saw me like this?
Oh, never mind.
Now hold still.
Wally, why aren't you in the school play?
Oh, I'm in it.
What you do?
I hold a sign saying, "Just a minute",
"while the wise men are putting on their beards."
(audience laughing)
Better get your blue suit pressed.
Yeah.
Can I get outta these things now?
Oh, all right, you can get out of these things.
Come on.
[Wally] Boy, it makes me look like a sissy.
Wally?
Have you seen my scissors?
[Wally] No, Mom.
Oh well, they'll turn up.
(scissors snipping)
Hey, Beaver, are you in there?
[Beaver] I'm in here, Wally.
Well, what are you doin'?
[Beaver] I'm not doin' nothing, nothing at all, Wally.
(upbeat music)
(scissors snipping)
Beaver, you come on outta there.
If you don't, I'm gonna tell Dad.
[Beaver] All right.
(audience laughing)
What's that?
A haircut, I think.
(audience laughing)
Wow, you look like Wilson's Airedale,
when he had the mange.
(audience laughing)
Why don't you let Stanley cut your hair?
Stanley wasn't there.
And it was, I losted my money.
What a goof!
How could you loose the money again?
I don't know.
Wait till Dad gets a load of that head.
(audience laughing)
Wally, couldn't you fix it up for me?
Don't be crazy.
I can't give anybody a haircut.
Did you ever give anybody one?
No.
Then how do you know?
(audience laughing)
It's a real small head.
(audience laughing)
Well, I guess I could make it look a little bit better,
than it does now.
Sure you could.
Okay, hand 'em over.
You're a wonderful brother.
(scissors snipping)
(happy upbeat music)
(audience laughing)
(scissors snipping)
[Wally] Well, I think that's about it.
[Beaver] Are you finished?
[Wally] I don't know, but I think I'd better stop.
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
I've never seen one like it, have you?
It's different.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(audience laughing)
How long do you think before it grows back?
At least a week.
Well, I can't hide for a whole week.
(audience laughing)
No.
I'm sorry, Beav.
Oh, that's okay.
It's only your fist haircut,
you'll get better as you go along.
(audience laughing)
What are we gonna do?
They're gonna be awful mad at us when they see it.
Maybe we can think of a way, so they won't see it.
Yeah, let me think.
(thoughtful music)
(comical music)
Well, did you get The Beaver converted to an angel yet?
He wasn't around today,
had to used Wally as a stand-in angel.
When is the big event?
Wednesday night.
Well, honey, I may be a little prejudice,
I think he's gonna be the cutest angel there.
Well, I must admit, I can see why they picked him.
He's so (muffled banging)
Quiet. (Audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
Hi, Dad.
(audience laughing)
Hi, Mom.
What's for supper?
Pot roast, potato pancakes and what's the big idea?
(audience laughing)
I just wanted to know.
Your mother wants to know,
what's the big idea of the caps?
Oh, the caps.
What is the idea of the caps, Wally?
Um, well you see, Dad,
The Beaver and I joined this new club
and for initiation you gotta wear these stocking caps
for a whole week.
(audience laughing)
Yeah, if you take them off, you're uninitiated.
(audience laughing)
Well, if you have to wear them.
Um, what kind of a club is it?
Um, well, it's kind of a secret club, Dad.
You know.
A secret society?
What's the club called?
Um, well, that's kind of a secret too.
(audience laughing)
Oh, you mean the name of the club is a secret?
That's right.
Yeah, they won't even tell us.
(audience laughing)
Do you have to wear those awful caps night
and day for a whole week?
That oughta do it.
(audience laughing)
I think we'd better eat.
(comical music)
We sure fooled 'em, didn't we, Wally?
Yeah, I guess we fooled 'em.
What's the matter?
Well, I'm not so sure we fooled 'em.
She didn't say anything.
Well, that's the way they are sometimes.
You know, they go along nice and easy and smiling,
but all the while, they're gettin' ready to jump on ya.
(audience laughing)
Gee, sometimes Mom and Dad are pretty tricky, aren't they?
No, they're not been tricky,
they just trying to be fair.
And that's what usually messes us up.
(audience laughing)
What do you suppose they're up to,
those skating caps?
I don't know, this secret society business,
sounds pretty fishy to me.
Funny hats, initiation, secret names.
Yeah, you have to be an adult to be silly enough
to join something like that.
(audience laughing)
Ward, do you suppose those hats have anything
to do with the haircut that Beaver was supposed to get?
That's just exactly what I suppose.
He probably lost the money, didn't get the haircut,
then they cooked up this secret society business
to cover up.
What are we gonna do about it?
Do?
I'm gonna go right upstairs and make him take that cap off.
Ward, you can't do that.
After all, if there is a secret club,
that would be a terrible thing to do.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Can't just violate their privacy.
I tell you what we could do.
We could wait till they're asleep
and then sneak up and peek under The Beavers stocking cap.
Then if we're wrong, there's no harm done.
Ward, wouldn't that be downright sneaky?
Sure, it would.
It's the only way we can survive as parents.
(audience laughing)
(comical music)
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
Ward, let me see?
I think it's better if you don't look.
(audience laughing)
Ward, I wanna see.
All right.
(muffled yelling) (audience laughing)
It's all right.
Come on, don't worry about it.
He'll be all right.
There you go.
You feel better now?
Did you see my little baby?
My poor little bald headed angel.
(audience laughing)
No wonder I couldn't find my scissors.
Oh, well, it'll grow back.
Oh yes, but not in time for the school play.
Oh, Ward, we're gonna be disgraced,
we'll just have to send him away somewhere.
Well, it's bad enough about the play,
but I don't like him trying to get away
with something like this.
Boy, when I was a kid,
my father would've whaled the tar outta me.
Now, Ward.
Well, don't worry,
I'm not gonna resort to physical violence.
I'm tempted though.
What are we gonna do?
Well, I guess there's nothing we can do,
except lay our cards on the table
and get him the chance to tell the truth.
Well, come on, time to turn in.
Agh! (Audience laughing)
What's the matter?
I just thought of his head again.
(audience laughing)
Come on.
(comical music)
(upbeat music)
Morning, boys.
Boys, I wanna talk to you.
Now, Beaver, yesterday I gave you a dollar and 75 cents
to get a haircut, is that right?
Yes, sir.
Did you get a haircut?
I sure did.
(audience laughing)
At the barber shop?
I went to the barber shop.
[Ward] Did you get a haircut there?
I got a haircut all right.
(audience laughing)
Beaver, did you get a haircut at the barber shop?
I went to the barber shop
and I got a haircut.
(audience laughing)
[Ward] Beaver, take off that cap.
I can't, it's ishiation for the secret club.
(audience laughing)
Tell 'em, Wally.
There is no secret club.
Please remove that cap.
(audience laughing) (gasping)
All right, Beaver.
Is this the haircut the barber gave you
at the barber shop yesterday?
No, sir.
Did you give yourself this haircut.
Excuse me.
(audience laughing)
[Ward] I said, did you give yourself this haircut?
Not exactly.
Wally, what you know about this haircut.
Well, I think it'll grow back in a week.
(audience laughing)
I'm very sorry, boys, but this time,
I'm really going to have to punish you.
Beaver, it would have been very easy for me to forgive you,
if you had just stood up and said,
"Dad, I lost my money and Wally gave me the haircut."
Dad, I lost the money and Wally gave me the haircut.
(audience laughing)
I'm sorry, but it's too late for that now.
You better both go up to your room and wait there,
while your mother and I decide what to do about this.
I just cannot understand it.
I have tried so hard to win their confidence,
to prove to them that I'm on their side.
Why should they lie to me?
Certainly it isn't my fault.
It certainly is.
No man has ever tried harder to be a buddy to
(audience laughing)
What did you say?
It certainly is your fault and mine.
Ward, don't you realize what a spot we put him on.
Well, that's ridiculous.
Put yourself in his place.
He looses his lunch money three days in a row
and then after been warned that this is his last chance,
he looses his haircut money.
Naturally he's afraid to tell us.
What's so natural about it.
Are we monsters?
Do we hit 'em?
Do we beat 'em?
Ward, the only guide the little fellow has
is the love and approval of his parents,
now if he thinks he's lost that,
it's worse than a beating.
Oh, I don't know.
Look, he was afraid to tell us the truth wasn't he.
Yeah.
Who's frightening him, if it isn't you and me?
I guess, that one of the troubles with been a parent.
You love your kids so much,
you scare the pants of 'em.
(happy upbeat music)
You know somethin', Wally?
What?
I think we would've got away with that secret club,
if we had a name for it.
(audience laughing)
Cut it out.
What do you think they're gonna do to us?
I don't know.
You should've told 'em in the first place,
you lost your money.
Yeah, then we wouldn't be in this mess.
Yeah, we.
(audience laughing)
Why did I have to go and help ya.
I'm glad you did.
It's a lot better been in a mess with somebody else.
(audience laughing)
Oh-oh, here they come.
Yeah, here they come.
(audience laughing)
I brought you the comics.
Thanks, Dad.
Your father and I,
well, we've been talking over this haircut business.
And we decided not to punish you.
You're not gonna punish us?
[Ward] That's right.
How come?
Well, for a lot of reasons, Beaver.
But mainly, because we want you to feel
that you can come to me or to your mother at any time,
with any problem and we'll understand.
Now, come on, let's get dressed,
we're gonna go out for breakfast.
That's great, Dad.
Yeah, that's great, Dad.
And afterwards, we might even take in a movie.
You think it's a trick, Wally?
(audience laughing)
No.
Just can't ever figure 'em out, that's all.
You know something, though, Wally?
What?
I like 'em.
(audience laughing)
Me too.
Come on, let's get dressed.
(happy upbeat music)
Joyful, all ye nations, rise ♪
Join the triumph of the skies ♪
With angelic host proclaim ♪
Christ is born in Bethlehem ♪
(audience laughing)
Hark the herald angels sing ♪
Glory to the new-born King ♪
(upbeat happy music)