Level Up (2012) s01e04 Episode Script

[growling]
[yelling]
Wyatt and I will
hold his attention,
Dante, you sneak around
behind him.
- Hey!
- Hey!
[whooping]
Too bad you don't have
weird eyes
in the back of your head.
[all cheering]
Man, we're getting good
at barding leaks.
Yeah.
Well, we better get to school.
My new girlfriend
Heather doesn't like
walking down the hall alone.
Because people
shove her in the lockers
and give her massive wedgies?
- No.
- Can we jimmy-jam?
I haven't eaten
since second breakfast
and I'm getting hungry.
All right.
Hold up.
What is it?
These are kind of cool.
A little more
than kind of cool.
[mimicking robot whirring]
Okay. Read me.
Read me, read me.
All I see are
a kabillion words
and charts mashed together.
They're status bars. IRL.
It's like a living video game.
Just like a real video game,
I'll ignore all that jazz
and let you guys handle it.
Oh, no way. Why would I
want to hide this face
behind those goofy glasses?
Sweet. So you guys don't care
if I wear them, right?
I mean, I'll put them in the
booty box right after school.
That's your rule.
We don't care.
Yeah, we break rules
like all the time.
Every day.
Wow.
Don't forget to vote
for class superlatives.
The results are pouring in.
[exclaims]
You okay?
Yeah, just thinking about
how much I love socks.
Thanks for sharing.
What's up with the glasses?
Temporary retinitis.
Okay, I just wanted
to give you all a heads-up.
I have the early results
for the superlative votes.
And, Lyle, you are
in the lead for both
most popular
and best-looking, surprise.
And the most best streak
continues.
- And, Dante?
- Yep.
You're the only one
in the running
for most likely to be
abducted by an alien.
Are you serious?
Yes, finally my ticket off
this hunk of rock
you call Earth.
So long, Gramps,
there is no reading in space.
Whoo!
Okay.
So what do
you have me down for?
Uh Well, you know, not all
the votes are in, but--
Oh, you're an absolute sure win
for best computer buddy.
- Congrats.
- Best computer buddy?
That doesn't even sound
like a real superlative.
It isn't. I made it up.
Pays to be friends
with the yearbook editor, huh?
So you
and the rest of the school
just see me as the guy
who knows all the commandsey
shortcuts?
I don't even know
what that means,
which exactly
proves my point.
Come on, who doesn't want
to be best computer buddy?
Me!
High school goes by
in a flash, Angie.
I want to be known for something
other than my tech skills.
Lyle's got his face,
and Dante's got his Danteness.
- Yeah.
- Look.
Even Reggie's
got a cool thing.
This week on
Party Time with Reggie,
I'm going to show you
the latest dance moves.
Check it. The spin cycle.
See, nobody would watch
a morning announcement show
called
LAN Party Time with Wyatt.
I just want people
to see me in a cool way.
Wyatt,
I'm just trying to help.
I don't need your help
or your pity.
I'm not an unformatted
hard drive, Angie.
My personality
has many different partitions.
It's about time
people around here
started transferring
that data to their brains.
You're not
really helping your case.
Dude, can I have
half of your face?
I'm kind of behind.
No! Get your hands off of me.
I'm so borked.
I just tried to ask Mr. McGee
for an extension,
but he flipped out on me.
If I don't get some more time,
I'm going to fail.
Seriously?
It's an art project.
How far behind can you be?
All the way behind.
Hey, Lyle.
Hey, baby.
I made a sculpture
of your favorite person.
So my fencing competition
is this weekend.
It's totally not a big deal.
I mean, my mom
and her boyfriend are going.
My grandma is flying in.
There's talk of a camera crew
from the local news coming.
But really, no biggie,
you can skip it.
Seriously?
You rock.
I love how you always
just know what I want.
Ah, thanks.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Dude, did I or did I not
just give her a compliment?
All I know
is that it looks like
her bug wants to
smash your skull.
I'd watch out if I were you.
So here's the deal.
I am going to say
"Slama jama,"
and then you're going to go
"Classic Wyatt, everyone,"
then, you know,
everybody will know
that's my cool Wyatt-y thing.
It's my nap time,
and you're sitting
in my nap time spot.
You're going to get big Joe-d.
Please don't hurt me!
Classic Wyatt, everyone.
No, no.
Don't spread that around.
You don't need a nap,
what you need is
a little sustenance.
Suste-- What?
Lemon poppy seed,
my favorite.
You know,
you're all right, kid.
I wish I could take back
my crampy behavior.
You know,
if you're a computer,
you could just command Z,
then you go right--
[screams]
I cannot escape my destiny.
Classic Wyatt, everyone.
No, that is still not it!
Hey, Natalie,
this will help you
with your
belly button discomfort.
Thank you, Wyatt.
I'm never getting pierced
at a flea market again.
It's like you read my mind.
I guess you could say
my intuitive abilities
have leveled up.
I could say that,
but I am not going to.
You seem to know just
what everyone needs.
It's like you're the guru
of D-Hills High.
That's right.
I am a guru. Yes!
Oh, I have escaped my destiny!
Whoo!
Are you kidding me?
We got a leak at school.
That's a huge exposure risk
and all you could
think about is the yearbook?
Okay, it is not
just about the superlatives,
it's about the whole new me.
Focus up, guys.
Why does this leak
keep respawning?
Maybe we should have vote
on class superlaxatives, huh?
[growling]
Okay.
Let's just bart him.
Whose turn is it this time?
That would be Lyle.
Huzzah.
Do the honors.
For real this time.
Oh, bicyclops.
We barely knew ye.
Don't even
worry about that test.
You're going to ace it.
Peruvian flute music?
Lavender candle?
How did he know
I needed pampering?
Because he's all-seeing
and all-knowing.
Total guru.
Hey, Wyatt.
I'm co-producing
the morning announcements,
and I want you
to have your own show.
- Yes!
- Reggie, you're canceled.
What?
Angie, where have you been?
I've been looking
all over for you.
Guess who's got
a new superlative.
What's wrong? You look--
Betrayed.
I don't want to talk about it.
Oh, no, I think you do.
Yeah,
it will make you feel better.
My brother Joaquin,
he read my diary.
Okay, and he found out
something really personal
that I would never
tell anybody.
Your email password.
No. Who I'm crushing on.
I mean, can you imagine
anything more intrusive
and vile and just unforgivable
than reading someone's
most private inner thoughts?
No. Reading your
private inner thoughts, no.
You would never do that to me.
Never ever, ever.
Ugh, you're right.
That is horrible
that anyone would ever
invade your privacy
and read your inner thoughts.
So your brother
read your diary.
Why don't you get back at him
by writing a fake entry?
Send him
on a wild goose chase, huh?
Wow,
that's a really good idea.
You know, a lot of people
have been saying
how helpful you've been.
It's like those glasses
of yours
have some sort
of freaky power.
You're like
a reverse Clark Kent.
Oh, ha, because
I'm like Superman
when I wear the glasses,
not the other way around.
Yeah!
Seriously? This guy
is like one of those
trick birthday candles
that you blow out
and it relights, and you
blow it out and it relights,
and you blow it out
and it relights!
I messed up big time, guys.
Don't worry. I got
extra briefs in my backpack.
I used the glasses on Angie--
- Seriously, briefs?
- Yeah.
She's gonna find out, because
Angie finds out everything.
And then she's never
going to talk to me again.
I'm going to try
and track her down
in 20 years
and send her an email.
There's not going to be email
in 20 years, but-- Oh.
[laughing]
Hey, we all just lost our
retainers in the trash can.
So you want to help us
find them?
[growling]
All right, Dante,
will you hurry up
before people find out
there's a monster on the loose.
Bicyclops
in the corner pocket.
It's like
he didn't see me coming.
Maybe we should get him a pair
of glasses like you, Wyatt.
I think I know why our friend
keeps respawning all over town.
He's looking for these.
You're nuts
if you're suggesting
that those belong to
Sir Elevator Eyes.
I mean,
how would he even wear--
- Boom. Bingo.
- Yeah.
I bet if we
give that dude his glasses,
- he'll stop respawning.
- Yeah.
Hey, what was that thing
you were saying about Angie?
What, that
she's got a crush on Philbert?
She has a crush on Philbert?
Oh, man! I should not have
told you guys that.
I'm not even
supposed to know that.
We got to get rid of
these glasses immediately.
Whoa, hold on, man,
maybe we could--
Maybe we could use them
a little big longer, right?
Why would we want to do that?
So you know when to ask
for that extension
on your art project.
Oh, yeah. I have that thing
I haven't done.
Right, and besides
you could use them
to stay on Angie's good side.
And I could use
an assist with Heather.
What's that?
I can't figure out my
new girlfriend, guys, okay?
There, you happy now?
Pretty happy.
Thank you very much for asking.
One thing, though.
We cannot let Angie know
what those glasses do.
What glasses?
Why are you wearing glasses?
Better to see you with.
Let's say you and me go
catch a movie this weekend.
I can't.
I have my fencing tournament
that you're not going to,
which is totally cool.
Yeah, baby, I don't care
if you say it's cool I don't go.
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
Best loot ever.
Principal Storms,
you're not eating doughnuts
because you're hungry.
You are eating doughnuts
because you miss your father.
How did I not see it?
My father ran a doughnut shop.
It makes perfect sense.
What would really make sense
is if you paid
your father a visit.
Maybe bring him a dozen
of hugs.
[bell ringing]
Running morning announcements
in the afternoon,
you must be pretty popular.
I don't know if you'd
say popular, maybe famous.
Hey, do you want to hang out?
Maybe get some frozen yogurt?
Man, I've totally been
craving fro-yo, yes.
And thanks for the idea
with the diary.
So I totally wrote that I buried
these little mechanical monkeys
outside and what do you know,
the little cramp dug
a bazillion holes
in the backyard.
Grounded for a month.
Oh, okay.
- Angie.
- Hi.
If you wanted to
hook up with Philter-the-bert
all you had to do is
say the word.
Wyatt told us you were
totally crushing on him
and he's totally into you.
Dude, what is wrong with you?
Oh, yeah, we weren't supposed
to talk about the glasses.
OMG.
What the--
Angie, this is not
what you think.
Okay,
it's exactly what you think.
I knew that something was up.
Guru of D-Hills High,
so you've been using
these little magical thingies
to read people's minds,
to read my mind?
Too bad
the glasses are broken.
Could have used them to
figure out why Angie's so mad.
Shall I tell my parents about
my belly button piercing now
or wait till I graduate
from college?
Yeah, sure, whatever,
tell them now.
No more sage advice
today, people.
Guru's got to meditate.
Lyle, everything is borked.
Angie knows about the glasses
and then she broke them.
The bicyclops is going to
keep respawning
and we can't stop him
because his glasses are broken.
Also, our show is
totaling going to tank.
The glasses are broken, Lyle!
Everything is broken!
Snap out of it!
It'll be okay.
Go talk to Max
about the bicyclops.
Dante and I will take a crack
at the glasses.
I can fix cars.
Glasses can't be
that different.
Well, if this doesn't work,
at least I can use it
for my art project.
No, man, look,
this time we got it,
all right, it's going to work.
You said that four tries ago,
but I'm going to trust you
mostly because I stopped
paying attention
three tries ago.
Let's do it.
How did the glasses break?
- Angie.
- Angie?
This sounds like
a human problem.
I don't do those.
I'm a billionaire.
I have more important
things to do.
What important thing
are you doing right now?
Enjoying my
multi-environment room
and perfecting
my electrified robe,
which will keep
carbon-based life forms
from getting too close to me.
Why would you want that?
If you get too close
to people,
sooner or later
you will have a friend
and once you have a friend,
pretty good chance you'll
end up with a best friend.
Yeah.
And that's when
all the trouble starts.
I mean, that's why
you're here, isn't it?
Problem
with your best friend?
Yes, in the back.
Angie's my friend but she's
not my best friend, or is she?
I never really thought
about that.
Maybe you're right.
Human problem!
My nervous system has reached
its limit on personal chit chat.
The glasses,
you can't physically fix them.
They are a code. You can only
fix them by rewriting the code.
Oh, cool, I mean
I hack your game all the time.
Thanks, Max.
Aah!
That thing really works.
Not quite,
you're still standing.
Touch me again. Come on.
Arts and crafts is over.
I know how to fix the glasses.
Done.
Wyatt, only you are
the best computer buddy.
You're right,
and there is nothing
wrong with that.
♪[vocalizing]
[screaming]
I got this.
Careful.
Here you go, buddy.
Great.
Okay, all right.
Oh, he just wanted to read.
What's that reading there,
buddy?
"How to mutilate humans!"
Aah!
Tulta Munille!
Is now an okay time to talk?
What, you can't tell
without your glasses?
Angie,
I'm sorry I read your mind.
I got carried away.
I don't want to be
the class guru.
I just want be your friend.
It was super wrong of you
to read my thoughts.
Okay, and super, super wrong
to tell Dante and Lyle about it.
It's almost unforgivable.
Almost?
You owe some serious
future favors.
Well, I notice you have what
somewhat resembles a gift.
It's a diary. Designed it
myself. Unhackable.
Wow, that's--that's really
thoughtful, thank you.
Well.
Good best friend.
Wait. You knew
we were best friends?
Yeah, don't get
your boxers in a bunch.
We're not going to go out
and get matching
BFF bracelets or anything.
- Hey, computer buddy.
- Hi.
I did what you said.
I told my parents
about my belly button ring,
and now I can't go to prom
or get my driver's license!
Well, at least
you can sleep well at night
knowing you told the truth.
You can go scrank it, Wyatt!
And another thing,
you show stinks.
You're cancelled!
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Classic Wyatt, everyone.
Classic Wyatt.
Thanks.