Poker Face (2023) s01e04 Episode Script

1
Once in your life you find her ♪
Someone that turns your heart around ♪
And next thing you
know you're closing ♪
Down the town ♪
Wake up and it's still with you ♪
Even though you left
her way 'cross town ♪
Wondering to yourself ♪
"Hey, what've I found?" ♪
When you get caught
between the moon ♪
And New York City ♪
I know it's crazy ♪
But it's true ♪
If you get caught between
the moon and New York City ♪
The best that you can do ♪
The best that you can do ♪
Is fall in love ♪
Hey, Ruby. Rube!
Yeah, I know, Mike.
"Staplehead."
Your hit. That was your hit, yeah?
This was it.
Fucking turn it up!
You don't have to, all right.
Doxxxology.
Fuck yeah!
I had this on CD.
Back in the day.
My daughter tells me
I'm too old to rock,
but I say bullshit.
I work with Ruby Ruin!
Respect you, lady.
- Hey, Victor.
- Hey.
Tour time again.
You interested in some
roadie work for a few weeks?
Man the merch table?
No. Sorry.
Ruby, you have a visitor
in the break room.
Hey. Uh, drummer, right?
Thanks for answering the ad.
I'm Ruby.
Yes, you are.
Wow.
This is ama I'm Gavin.
Wow. Nice to meet you.
This is fucking amazing, dude, I'm
Okay.
I've just been a diehard Doxxx fan
since I was, like, two years old.
Dude, this is fuckin' badass.
My mom said she'd catch me banging
my sippy cup to "Staplehead."
- Just aaah!
- Wow. That's
When I saw the listing
to be the drummer of Doxxxology
on fucking Craigslist,
I was just, just what, dude, fucking
All right, we leave
Monday, a three-week tour,
mostly bars and small venues,
but it'll give us time
to tighten up the act,
maybe write a few new songs,
'cause we end the tour in Milwaukee,
at the Lariat, opening for Krampus.
Holy shit, you're opening for Krampus.
Yo, that's, that's badass, man.
- Yeah, it's a big deal.
- But hey
if you guys are looking to
freshen up your material at all,
I do a little bit of, like,
writing of my own stuff
And you got your own gear?
Yeah, I've got a TAMA kit
with a double bass pedal
and a vintage amp, so
everything you need.
Great. But wait, no,
what the fuck do you need an amp for?
I blow my backing vocals
through my fuzz pedal,
and it gives it like this,
this crunchy, chewy, disgusting
Good. Fine.
Fine. You're in.
- I'm in?
- You're in.
Holy shit, dude.
Look at me now, motherfuckers!
This is gonna rock so fucking hard.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
I will not let you down, I promise you.
All right, RV leaves Monday.
I'll send you the deets.
Gavin, we're all in our 40s.
Just take a fucking bath.
Take a bath. Aaahhhh!
I'm not joking.
Okay.
Living on discount macaroni ♪
Can't even get a job
with my uncle Tony ♪
You sent your goons to repo my truck ♪
What the actual fuck ♪
I can play guitar and
I'm a decent singer ♪
Now cut my wedding
ring off my dead finger ♪
You say you wanna deal
but you're such a phony ♪
You're never gonna get that alimony ♪
Al! Al. God. Stop.
That's awful. God.
How's the divorce going, bro?
Not good.
The lyrics are temporary.
I just slug out whatever's in my head,
we can zhuzh it up later.
There's no zhuzhing. It's a turd.
I don't want to zhuzh the turd.
We have three weeks, man.
We got to come up with
something that's going
to pop at this Krampus show.
What's the point?
They're just gonna want
to hear "Staplehead."
The point, Eskie, is that I'm not ready
to lay down and die as some
fucking nostalgia act. Are you?
I just moved back in with my mom,
and I got my AARP membership this year.
So it's been a banner year for me.
And Al with his divorce.
It's not going well.
- And you think law school is gonna
- Law school?
You think I can afford law school?
It's an online MSL degree.
I can't even afford to sell out.
It's desperate times, Rube.
Piling in this shitty
van year after year
for the rest of our lives,
driving around playing Irish pubs.
I swear to Christ,
I'm gonna start crying
I really think about it.
The goal is not this.
The goal is to get back.
To have shit acts like
Krampus opening for us.
That feeling on stage, the crowd,
do you remember that?
We're metal Gods.
What would you do to get that back?
Anything.
- Anything.
- Anything.
We need to do this.
And all we need,
all we need is to write one new song
that doesn't suck.
I had a kind of a
doomy sort of riff in A,
try this.
That's not bad.
Geez, where'd you get this kid?
Juilliard.
Really?
Fucking Craigslist.
Where do you think?
That's wild.
Let's see if Cleveland rocks!
So this tape line goes right here.
- Okay.
- Not here.
- Mm-hmm. -
And not here.
- Okay.
- So I, so I don't hunch.
- All right.
- I got a sciatica.
- I can't hunch.
- Okay.
Maggie May,
I ain't seen one of these since Foghat.
Battle Creek, show us your metal!
Fuckin' Benson, man.
Two, three, and
Merch girl ♪
Working all night ♪
Merch girl ♪
Fits me just right ♪
Merch girl ♪
Last one to leave ♪
Merch girl ♪
Nothing up her sleeve, yeah ♪
- All right. Okay.
- There's no bridge yet.
Fuck a bridge. What are
we, Christopher Cross?
Just power through it.
What do you think?
There's something there?
Deuteronomy, what do you
think? Something there?
I got my audiobooks on.
Hey, kid, what do you think?
Why don't you guys just try to
write another song like "Staplehead"?
I mean, "Staplehead."
That song is, um, good.
So just try and, you know
make another song like that.
Why don't I just fucking
traipse into the fucking forest
and capture a bejeweled fucking Pegasus?
That would be rad too.
Every second of every day,
I try and write a
song like "Staplehead."
I remember the first time I heard it,
that feeling was like
a needle made of ice
going into my brain.
Like seeing the face of God
and fucking God saying,
"That's what a fucking hit feels like."
I've been chasing that
feeling for the past 20 years
and never come close.
"Staplehead" 's a fucking curse.
That song ruined my life.
But the song is your big hit.
We didn't write it.
- What?
- Yeah, we didn't fuckin' write it.
Our drummer Belinda did, and
she gets all the royalties.
Now that bitch is selling
leggings in the suburbs.
But you guys continue to play the song.
We have to every gig. Have to.
And when we're not on
stage, we hear it everywhere.
And we don't get one red cent.
It's a fucking curse.
Fuck that, though.
Tonight, we open with "Merch Girl."
I got a feeling about this.
Two, three and
Merch girl ♪
Nothing up her sleeve, yeah ♪
We suck.
Hey,
aren't you the band
that does "Staplehead"?
- Play "Staplehead"!
- No.
We're not playing "Staplehead."
Up from the dust above the ruins ♪
By fire ♪
By flood ♪
Atop my rusty chariot ♪
- Lusting for your blood ♪
- Woo!
Staplehead ♪
Tonight is where you rise ♪
Staplehead ♪
Tonight we rise ♪
Staplehead ♪
Tonight we rise ♪
Staplehead ♪
Yeah! Fucking DeKalb, Illinois,
we love you!
Punk rock metal, baby.
Dude, are you okay?
Yeah, man, I'm fucking good.
You little shit.
You ever steal my scream again,
I'll break more than your fucking face.
Hey!
Drummer boy.
Krampus!
Jesus. It's inane.
This will get you popular these days,
this Jackass shit?
People love it.
Krampus Cam. They got
Ozzy with that thing once.
Dude, that was fake.
And what are you doing?
Our drummer got hit in the head
with a stapler during "Staplehead."
That's what we call provenance.
Got a secret little eBay store.
It's not community
property. Don't tell Edward.
Kid's hanging with us tonight.
Let's party!
I got to be up early, man, really.
Acid reflux, man.
Sober ten years.
Cool. Cool. All right.
Hey, kid. I'm sorry about tagging you.
Don't let that shit happen again.
But I'm sorry.
Listen, th-that's me
totally out of bounds.
It's, it's your set. It's
your scream. I'm sorry.
And I know that I'm a lot
to put up with, you know,
but I just thank you guys
for puttin' up with me.
I mean, really.
And I know you guys are
looking for a new song,
and, um, I don't want
to overstep or anything,
but I wrote something
and if it sucks, it sucks.
Just let me know. Just say it, no harm.
But I want you to hear it.
It's not like we got anything else.
Tss
Here we go.
What did you think, Ruby?
Uh
Yeah, there's some
good stuff there, kid.
Keep working on it.
Seriously? Okay.
And I guess I will leave you guys
to your own party or whatever.
Ha, ha, ha!
I'm gonna go to bed. Good night, guys.
Holy shit.
I'm not crazy, right?
Tell me I'm crazy.
It's a fuckin' hit.
It's gonna be "Staplehead"
all over again.
Doesn't have to be.
So I'm fired.
You're dragging the
energy of the band down.
We're trying to grow
wings, and you're
You just, you're not on board.
- How'd he take it?
- He'll live.
Well, I broke my sacred
commitment to veganism for this.
I got it, dudes, thank you.
Hey, kid.
Yo, what's up? Whoa
When we play "Staplehead" tonight
Mm-hmm.
I want you to take my scream.
No, no, no, no, no.
That is not my
- That's yours.
- You have earned it.
It's a fuckin' honor, man.
I just need, I just
need a second if you
Merch girl ♪
Working every night ♪
Merch girl ♪
Fits me just right, yeah ♪
All right.
Are you ready for a banger?!
Up from the dust above the ruins ♪
By fire ♪
By flood ♪
Atop my rusty chariot ♪
Lusting for your blood ♪
Staplehead ♪
From the blackest depths of night ♪
Staplehead ♪
From the dark into the light ♪
Staplehead ♪
Tonight we rise ♪
Mm, do you have another cigarette?
- Here you go.
- Aw, thanks, I appreciate that.
No problem.
I've got three days on a deck job.
Manuel.
Jorge and your guys, Victor.
Eso
- Tony.
- Vamos, amigos!
Nah, I'm good. I'm good.
Okay, that's it.
Hey. Hey, Charlie, right?
Uh, yeah.
Uh, Victor said you're looking for work.
Oh well, thank you, Victor.
Uh, yes,
I'm, I'm desperately looking for work.
You have a car?
Uh, yeah. Just needs gas.
And can you count?
Uh, got 10 good fingers.
My band's going on the
road, and we're looking
for someone to sell merch,
help out, you know,
whatever needs doing.
The pay sucks, but you get to
visit the worst bars in America.
Well, shit.
You got yourself a merch girl.
Holy shit.
Uh, you're Ruby Ruin, right?
Staplehead!
All right.
Let's see if Cleveland rocks!
So this tape line goes right here.
Not here and, and not here.
- So I, so I don't hunch.
- All right.
I got a sciatica. I can't hunch.
Merch girl ♪
Nothing up her sleeve, yeah ♪
We suck.
Hey, aren't you the band
that does "Staplehead"?
Play "Staplehead."
No, we're not playing "Staplehead."
Up from the dust ♪
Whoa!
- Kid
- I'm just trying to get some more on my amp.
Dude, it's so badass!
Okay, okay. Just Jesus, kid.
- Just wait
- Hold still.
It was so intense tonight.
It was just so metal.
It was just metal.
- Yes, it was very metal.
- I thought it was metal, right?
It was very metal. It was
super-duper metal.
- Yeah.
- Okay, just turn to the light a little.
There you go.
You, you think she's mad at me, though.
Ruby? Uh, yeah.
On account of how she
punched you in the face.
But also, who cares?
I mean, don't get me started
on that "Merch Girl" song.
Slanderous.
I thought she was cool, man.
I'm starting to suspect
she's actually a real dick.
I know. Ruby's she's cool.
She's, she's all right.
Mm, mm
But maybe, um, maybe tomorrow, I can,
I can catch a ride with, with you?
If that's okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
Gav.
Gav.
Gavin!
Jesus.
I admire the commitment to the craft,
but maybe not with
the metal sticks, yeah?
I mean, Christ on a cracker.
Metal!
Oh, I get it. Oh geez.
What, what's that thingy?
Oh, well,
I like to keep some eyes
underneath my kit at every show.
That way, I can go back
and watch my footwork.
All right.
Check one of these out right here.
Stalagmite! ♪
Stalactite ♪
Stalag-sight ♪
You might stalag-me ♪
You, sir, are a magpie.
- Magpie?
- Mm-hmm.
Self-taught, huh?
No, Juilliard.
Oh.
Ugh. All right, dude.
I don't want to be all
Felix Unger or anything,
but, uh, this is my house, you know.
A little respect.
Why do you live in your car?
Wolves on my fender
so I gotta keep moving.
Some wolves, huh?
You going to be like this forever?
Maybe.
I hadn't really thought
about it that way, I
Not fully until just now, actually.
So thanks for that fresh
dose of existential dread.
Oh, no, no. Toss it.
I do not consent to photos.
Well, it's not like I
post them or anything.
It's just for, like, a
mind-collage of my own.
Oh.
That was littering.
Yes, it was.
Gosh, you are just really
dedicated to not wearing shoes, huh?
If you're wearing shoes,
you're just not grounded,
you know.
Life is a beat, Chuck.
You got to feel it.
Hey, look. See?
Ba-da-da-whoosh.
Ba-da-da-whoosh.
- Right?
- Ba-da-da-whoosh. All right.
Look, see?
That's the bridge we went over.
You know? Little raindrops.
Holistic magpie motherfucker.
Yeah. Sometimes I just,
I feel this shit so hard.
Carries me through.
Makes the bad stuff just
roll right off of me.
Hi.
I owe you one for taking
that little shitheel
off our hands for the day.
You know, that kid really
took a hit for you, right?
God, I hope he didn't lose
any precious brain cells.
You might give him a break.
Is all I'm sayin'.
He's a vibe-killer.
Can't read a room. It stresses me out.
He's just nervous.
He worships you.
I got to tell you,
Ruby, I really thought
that being on tour with the
band was going to be like,
you know, one big party,
all fun and bonding,
like Spinal Tap. Pre-Jeanine.
Not this cliquey gate-keepy
high school bullshit.
Consider my eyes opened.
Hey!
Drummer boy.
Dude, I don't know what kind of voodoo,
whatever you did,
but thank you.
What voodoo did I do?
Well, I saw you talking
to Ruby last night,
and now she's gonna
let me do the scream.
The "Staplehead" scream.
I've been dreaming doing it since I was
a little dumb-as-fuck baby.
This is, this is
fuckin' everything, man.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, yeah
Hey. So, um
- Oh. Uh, uh
- You
I'll, I'll get a good one for you.
I'm happy for you, you little scamp.
All right, let's do some fuckin' metal.
Atop my rusty chariot ♪
Lusting for your blood ♪
Staplehead ♪
Staplehead ♪
Tonight we rise ♪
Staplehead ♪
Tonight we rise ♪
- Staplehead ♪
- Let 'em have it, kiddo.
Tonight we rise ♪
Staplehead ♪
Tonight we rise ♪
I know it's been a
tough night for you all.
We appreciate your patience.
The ME's ruling your drummer
died by electrocution.
His amp wasn't grounded.
So when he touched the mic,
it was like kissing a lightning bolt.
Jesus.
It was an accident due
to faulty equipment.
We're impounding the amp
for insurance purposes,
but you can have the rest
of your equipment back.
You all were on that stage, too.
It could have been a lot worse.
Wow.
Guess we just got lucky.
Good idea.
What do you figure I can
get for these on eBay?
Don't you fuckin' dare.
I can't stop smelling that smell.
We did what we did. Now
we gotta move forward.
That song is gonna change our lives.
Let's keep it together.
About that.
We should get a recording of the song,
at least a rough demo,
before we play it at the Krampus show.
We can use his rhythm track,
but we all play the rest.
Really lock in our ownership.
Then let's do it right fuckin' now.
And where are we gonna
find a recording studio
in Kenosha, Wisconsin,
"right fucking now"?
Two, three
It's a flash inside that calls you ♪
From the street ♪
Drink from the well so bittersweet ♪
It's sugary sweet it's a fiery treat ♪
It's time to eat my sucker punch ♪
Judas to the Priest.
That song's pretty good.
Oh, uh, excuse me. Are
you with this group?
Because I have this booth reserved
as of seven minutes ago.
Oh yeah. I think they're almost done.
"Murder Girl."
Nice.
Is your band, uh,
death metal or something?
It's my podcast. I solve murders.
Oh.
Nice work, if you can get it.
Enter the caverns ♪
Of the past ♪
Your first trip won't be your last ♪
It's sugary sweet, a fiery treat ♪
It's time to eat my sucker punch ♪
Damn, that is an earworm.
Whoa.
Oh geez. Come on.
Hey. Which one of you assholes
Shamrock-Shaked my car?
- Krampus slays!
- What is this?
Oh my God. Just clean it.
- Oh, hi. Excuse me. Hi. Uh, hi.
- Hello.
Do you know my friend Molly?
- I'm sorry, who?
- Uh, Molly.
- You know, my ex.
- Okay, n-n-nice try, narc.
I-I'm not a narc. I
You're wearing pleated khakis, you know.
Just try harder. I believe in you.
- Krampus!
- Uh, excuse me
Very good
Ah, damn it, Gavin.
Respect the domicile.
Geez, honey.
You're in Krampus land!
Oh, whoa.
Hold the phone.
Step into the caverns of the past ♪
Your first sip won't be your last ♪
It's sugary sweet ♪
A fiery treat ♪
It's time to eat my sucker punch ♪
Magpie.
Oh, great. Uh, I want to talk to you.
Drop the price of the
shirts if you have to.
I don't wanna bring
any of that shit home.
You know, it-it's about your new song.
- What about it?
- Well, it's really good.
Which is how I know you
guys didn't write it.
I got a soundcheck.
Okay, just look me in the eyes
and tell me that Gavin
didn't write that song?
Gavin wrote that song.
Oh. Well, that's true.
But also not cool. He deserves credit.
And what do we deserve?
That song isn't going
to bring Gavin back,
but it'll change our lives.
We recorded the song.
We're playing it tonight.
Look, Charlie, I'm just
trying to make something good
out of something bad.
Well, right, but,
but if it's Gavin's song,
people should know that.
There are a thousand ifs.
If I hadn't given him the scream,
if our roadie hadn't
quit and checked the amp,
if I had anything left in my
garbage life except one last shot.
This shot.
It is what it is, and I'm taking it.
I'm sorry about the kid, truly.
Gotta go.
Something doesn't sit right, Gavin.
Krampus!
- Shit.
- Whoa!
Ooh!
- Okay
- Krampus in the crapper!
Good shit, man. That dude's an asshole.
Deuteronomy.
Yeah, merch girl!
Deuteronomy.
Nice right hook, merch girl.
I see you're moving
up in the world, huh?
- Is that why you quit?
- Quit?
I got canned on some bullshit.
Huh.
Well, you know, I knew that
Ruby threw a lie in there.
I just couldn't track the, uh
This business is built on relationships.
And amphetamines.
Can I ask you something?
It's, uh, it's about the kid.
The thing that happened with his amp.
I mean, is that something that happens?
Yeah, it happens.
Yardbirds, '77.
Lead guitarist bit
it using the same amp.
That's why they have a death capacitor.
A what?
Old amps used to have cords
with two prongs instead of three.
If you reverse the plug,
it's like sticking a fork in a socket.
A death capacitor keeps it safe.
- So Gavin didn't know that?
- Of course, he did.
He had his amp
converted to three-prong.
It was safe. I wouldn't have
let him use it if it wasn't.
Here, let me show you
what it looks like.
Okay, here's one on eBay. Identical.
Holy shit. Can I, can I see that?
Whoa, shit.
Al.
I'm gonna buy a new guitar ♪
Neck inlaid with pearl ♪
To pay my passage to the underworld ♪
I'm gonna crawl up ♪
From the afterbirth ♪
And wander lonely ♪
On this earth ♪
Satan, cast your evil spell ♪
Save a place for us in hell ♪
You must learn we're all gonna burn ♪
Because you can't un-murder someone ♪
We electrocuted a lamb
for the keys to the kingdom ♪
Now it's time to burn ♪
Two, three, four.
If you're looking for
Al, he's working on
a new song called "You
Can't Un-murder Someone."
Sounds metal.
It sounds like a guilty conscience
unburdening itself for killing a drummer
via power ballad.
What?
That song
is basically a confession.
Uh, yeah. Okay. So you
wanna arrest Bob Marley
for singing "I Shot the Sheriff"?
If he was also selling
Gavin's amp on eBay,
like Al is, then yeah.
I know it sounds nuts, but I think
that Al switched it out
for a booby-trapped amp
and killed Gavin.
Listen. I know you really liked the kid.
You're traumatized. We all are.
But reality now,
equipment mix-ups happen.
Deuteronomy wasn't there to check it.
- Convenient, right?
- Jesus.
Al was on stage the
whole time Gavin was.
You think he would have
risked electrocuting himself?
Or Eskie or me?
Well that's true. Huh.
Huh?
One more show,
and this will all be
in your rearview mirror.
Okay?
Chill out and keep it together.
Yeah?
- What are you doing?
- You put Gavin's amp on eBay?
It's vintage.
It's evidence. Right?
- I guess.
- You guess?
I haven't taken Criminal Law yet.
Okay, Clarence Dumbass
and Veggie McShithead.
Listen to me.
We are this close to nailing this thing.
Keep it the fuck together!
And do not confess to murder in a song!
What ?
It's probably okay as long as
you don't sing it under oath.
This is what, ehh, I'm saying
Uh, hey, Deuteronomy.
Um, can I borrow your readers?
You know, I'm trying to see
something on here, and I can't.
No. But how about the
right tool for the job?
Oh, okay. Upgrade.
Huh? Okay.
So Al was being a real baby
about setting up his mic stand, right?
Yeah.
Said it was his hunchback or something.
I tried to teach him the Pilates
I learned from Jimmy Page
but no!
Okay. So look at this.
This is from the show when Gavin died.
Look at the tape.
Somehow in this show, on this one night,
he got taller.
Huh, I
Well, so what? Maybe
he wore different shoes?
I mean, why would a guy with a bad back
suddenly wear new shoes on stage?
Hmm.
Well, you can't see
his shoes there though.
Oh.
Huh.
Hey. I I-I come in peace, I
Ca-can I borrow that?
Come on, now.
Show me some heavy-soled murder shoes.
Gotcha, you son of a bitch.
Whoa!
Holy Toledo.
Rest in metal. Seriously?
Jesus. What now?
You guys are sick with
this bullshit tribute.
You killed him. All of you.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Me? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe, maybe I'm the highest bidder
on eBay for Gavin's real amp,
you know, the one you
switched out to kill him.
Or maybe I'm the girl
with the photographic proof
that you knew he was
going to be electrocuted.
You're all wearing Docs
with thick rubber soles
to insulate you from that electro shit
that you sent through Gavin.
You know, when you
told the fire inspector
that you got "lucky,"
I knew it was a lie,
I just didn't put it together.
Y'all made your own luck, didn't you?
You know, I may not have my degree,
but even I know that's not legal proof.
Gavin was the real deal, you know,
and he was a good guy,
and you killed him just for what?
For some stupid little
song about sucker punching?
It's not just a song. It's a hit.
You know what, Ruby?
I knew that you were a has-been.
But it's worse than that.
All right, you're a hack.
And maybe I won't get to see
you in an orange jumpsuit,
but you'll be in that
orange "Build Box" apron
for the rest of your
sad little hacky life.
Security!
Gavin had talent, okay. He
was metal. He was real metal.
And you all, you're
the opposite of metal.
All right? You're talc.
You hear me? You're fuckin' talc!
She can't do shit.
We play the fuck out
of that song tonight
and everything changes.
Yes?
Let's rock!
Hey, do you mind swinging
past just over here? Uh
Thank you. Thanks. I just
I got to grab my, my bag,
and then I promise to continue
to throw myself out, so
I better not see you again.
No, absolutely. I appreciate you.
You're doing good work. Efficient.
Hi. Hey, guys.
Any of you know my friend Lucy?
You know Lucy in the Sky
Fuck off, narc.
Okay. Just looking for
some old-fashioned cocaine.
Hey, narc.
My name's Scott.
And that's how Doxxxology
murdered their drummer Gavin,
I don't know his last name, for a song.
Yeah, uh, well, that's,
uh, that's a, a lot.
Ah.
I got no proof.
It's a whole lot of nothing.
Just loose, connected dots. I'm sorry.
I don't know who I thought
would take this seriously.
Y y you know
what? I think it's good.
- You do?
- Yeah.
I think you make a compelling case.
I mean, some of this is a stretch,
but you've shored up a lot of
the circumstantial evidence.
I'm convinced.
You think it's enough
to take to your boss?
Why would you want me to take it
to the VP of Finance at Nationwide?
Okay, wait. So you're not a cop?
No, I'm an actuary. Did
you think I was a cop?
Yes, man. Yeah, I
thought you were a narc.
Everyone's been calling me that.
I think I'm just really
bad at buying drugs.
Yes, you are really bad at it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
everything you just
said makes perfect sense.
Oh, and since you're already famous,
maybe you can get some
local news attention.
Hmm? What do you mean I'm famous?
You don't know. Oh, your video.
It went viral.
Krampus!
When did that go up?
Uh, it says four hours ago. Why?
Charlie Cale?
Hey, Cliff.
I didn't take you for a TikToker.
It's over, Charlie.
You're coming with me.
Front seat or the trunk. Your choice.
Hey. You need something, brother?
What's up, Milwaukee?!
I think it's time for something fresh.
It's a flash inside ♪
That calls you from the street ♪
Drink from the well so bittersweet ♪
You wrote your number
on the back of my receipt ♪
Before you cracked me with your ♪
Sucker punch ♪
Step into the caverns of the past ♪
Your first sip won't be your last ♪
It's sugary sweet,
it's a fiery treat ♪
- It's time to eat my ♪
- Fuck you, Ruby.
Sucker punch ♪
To the left.
Watch it, man.
Oh fuck!
Thank you!
Ruby! Ruby! Ruby!
I like shrimp cocktail for breakfast.
This is, I can get used to this.
My friends, in just three weeks,
you've conquered the world.
To "Sucker Punch."
- To Doxxxology.
- Hey.
A viral smash.
We got to get caviar in the rider.
I want this on the tour bus.
Like, I can get used to this.
This is my new style.
But I can keep this pen though, right?
Hold up.
Wait.
No.
What the fuck, man?
We have a big problem.
Yeah. So this "Sucker Punch" song
came out of nowhere,
and it's everywhere now.
But did it come out
of nowhere? It did not.
Shout out to some of our
older viewers for helping us
connect the dots on this one.
You ripped off the
theme song to "Benson"
and didn't think nobody would notice?
- I didn't realize it.
- It's, it's, it's fair use homage.
It's copyright infringement
that was about to become fraud.
And it is the least of your problems.
You may know the heavy
metal band Doxxxology
for their '90s hit song "Staplehead."
And for their incredible
comeback hit "Sucker Punch."
Their story sounds like
a rock-and-roll fantasy.
A band of has-beens who get
their second shot at fame.
But what if I told you
that's not the whole story?
Would you kill for a
second shot at fame?
Commit murder for one hit song.
Welcome to season seven of "Murder Girl:
Rest in Metal."
Ba-da-da-whoosh.
We got her.
Wow, something to look forward to.
I'm in some deep shit.
What went wrong?
She killed both of them.
She was lying. I could tell.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
We have to kill that mother
Tell me where you are.
I can't be the only
one getting bad mojo around here.
There's not a corner in this country
small enough for you to hide in.
And I'm gonna hit you where it hurts.
Now, tell me, kid
am I lying?
Watch your back, Charlie.
Look out!
That was intense.
I felt like I was in "Wolf of
Wall Street" all of a sudden
and not the fun parts.