Rooster (2026) s01e04 Episode Script
Angry, Like an Angry Person
1
[Mellow music playing]
[straw slurping]
- [door opens forcefully]
- [music stops abruptly]
- [Greg] Jesus!
- Greg. Good morning.
- I thought I locked that.
- No, it only locks from my side.
It's a fire safety thing.
- How?
- Not sure.
My wife is back from Japan,
so I'm hosting
a faculty bar night.
And I'm hoping you'll join.
Yeah, I don't know, Walt.
I'm not good at parties,
and I don't know anybody.
Just stop by for a drink.
It starts at 8:00
and goes until question mark.
I will try very, very hard
to make it.
[Walt sighs heavily]
[Greg] It was an
old-fashioned standoff.
Rooster gave
a "don't fuck with me" stare.
But Captain Flaherty
was a Navy man,
a little bent from
all those years at sea.
He may have even
smiled a little.
Rooster's mouth got dry.
[lips smacking]
He knew one of them
would die tonight.
Look, even in
heightened situations,
I try to make Rooster
emotionally authentic.
So, don't be afraid to feel
what your character's feeling.
You can't write it
if it's not in you.
Alright, hand in your papers
on the way out.
I proudly remain
a hard copy guy,
so let's see the hard copies.
Fuck the trees, bro.
No, no, that's not
That wasn't my point.
Hey, hey.
Not gonna hand
anything in there, big guy?
Uh, not yet, but I'm so close
to starting it.
Well, that's the hardest step.
Due today.
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, and I am excited
to see the style of author
everyone decided to emulate.
And we will be reading a few
out loud on Monday.
You are not gonna want
to read this aloud, my friend.
You are gonna want to be alone.
- [chuckles] Okay.
- [chuckles]
Jesus.
[Soft music playing]
[water sloshing]
- [knocking]
- [Walt] Come, come!
Don't worry, only did my head.
Well done.
- Is that a new necklace?
- Yeah.
My wife brought it
back from Japan.
She said it makes me
look like Paul Mescal,
but I I don't know
who that is.
- It suits you.
- Thank you.
Let's commence mentoring.
I have set up three good
job interviews for you,
but the one I'm most
excited about is Biotecha.
You'll enjoy Diana.
She's a friend.
Years ago, she was
more than a friend.
But I wouldn't bring that up.
So, how should I deal
with the pregnancy issue?
I mean, I don't mind lying.
Well, at first.
And then, I feel guilty
and tell the truth
a second later.
Authenticity.
It's the only way
to live your life.
Okay.
Good.
I hate your chain.
Felt that comin'.
Oh, I, oh, I ♪
I played the fool ♪
I laugh at me,
I'm trying, trying ♪
Falling sometimes,
sometimes flying ♪
Cry me an ocean
of one-liners ♪
Cruel, cruel, cruel ♪
Oh ♪
Mr. Russo! Wait up.
Hm? Oh, hey, Tommy.
- All done.
- Alright.
[Tommy]
You're gonna love it,
because the guy
I chose to emulate
is one of the greats.
[clicking tongue]
What? Me?
- Yeah, man.
- Oh, come on, that's
[laughing] What?
No, no, no, no, no.
I am not a great. I
[laughing] You are a nut.
- Okay, you fail.
- What?
I'm kidding!
I'm kidding.
- Oh.
- [Greg] Ah.
- I'm looking forward to reading it.
- [Tommy] Sweet.
- Thank you, Tommy.
- Yeah, yeah, thank you.
You're somethin'.
- You inspire me, bro.
- [chuckles] Okay.
Stop it.
[sighing] Oh.
[Upbeat music playing]
[Sunny] You don't love it.
[Music fades out]
I mean, you look radiant.
I used a fan
to make her hair blow.
You know, Mo, we really should
figure out some sort of system
so that you know when I want you
to be a part of our conversations.
I could raise my hand.
Walt told me I should
be more authentic.
It just seems
kind of crazy to me.
I mean, you know, who
Who posts
about their personal business
like this?
Well, literally everyone
on Earth does it.
[chair creaking]
I will say that it would
be pretty weird
if the father
did not like that post.
- Mm-hmm.
- Just my two cents.
- Fine, I will heart the post.
- [phone reaction popping]
Because I do support you.
And now, everybody knows it
- 'cause I've hearted it.
- [Sunny] Thank you.
Wish me luck.
[kiss smacks]
- I'll see you Monday.
- I'll see you then.
It's great.
Now, your friends know,
- your family know.
- [door closes]
Strangers know.
- Pretty fucked, huh?
- [sighs]
[students chattering] - Okay,
get in those seats, people.
Let's fire this up,
'cause I am back, okay?
- Lights, please, Lily.
- Boom, nap time.
[chuckles] I'm just kidding.
I wouldn't really do that.
Slideshow's up.
Professor Russo?
You okay, Professor Russo?
- I'm amazing.
- [phone thuds]
Okay. Gauguin.
Best known for his
Tahitian landscapes.
[inhales sharply, sighs]
Also known for leaving his wife
for a 13-year-old.
Can anyone guess
what his consequences were?
I'm gonna give you a hint.
He's a man.
- Nothing?
- Very good. Very good, Zoey.
Uh, actually, a Gauguin
just sold at auction
for $105 million.
One almost wishes that
his Tahitian mistresses
saw some of that money.
Right?
But all they got was syphilis.
Yes, Zoey?
Fuck that guy in the face.
- Yeah, correct.
- [students laughing]
Write that down.
Oh, keeping it
in the syphilis family,
guys, Toulouse-Lautrec.
Wait till you hear about
this little French asshole.
- I fucking love art history.
- [chuckles]
The misogyny on this campus
is out of control.
I know, it's really kinda
making me miss Dubai.
You would be vilified if you
behaved like your shit bag husband.
[chuckles] - And And tell
me if I'm being inappropriate.
You are, but I'm drinking
it in, so speak freely.
Um, okay, he's out there
literally putting babies
- in everyone.
- Yeah.
It's Well, it's one person,
but, yes.
Katie, you really need to be
getting back in the game,
- okay?
- I [sighs]
- Just fuck some randos.
- Yes.
I don't know.
I-I'm sad, and I'm tired,
and I don't have the energy
to learn a new penis.
Well, it doesn't have
to be a guy.
I recently started
dating lesbians.
- [Katie] That's cool.
- Cute!
I mean, I don't know
if I'll stick with it
'cause I don't love having
to keep my nails trimmed,
- but, um
- Ouchie.
Okay. The window
for speaking freely
is closed forever, actually.
Um, that's my dad.
- Hey, Dad! Dad, come over here.
- Huh? Oh, hey!
Come here, save me, hi.
- [chair thumps]
- Oh, my God! That's
Don't do
[chuckles] Dad, what
the hell are you doing?
I tripped and turned it into
the "Walk Like an Egyptian"
dance.
- Okay.
- Uh-huh.
What do you guys do
when you trip?
So, uh, I don't mean to invade
your space, but could I
- Sit, yeah.
- Thank you.
Um, loved watching you
beat Archie's perfect ass
- with a ladle.
- I wouldn't say it's perfect.
Come on, Dad, it's
It's pretty good.
I mean, I just really
appreciated you,
like, taking the fight
to a male oppressor.
Mm, you're welcome.
I would do anything for Katie.
- [Katie chuckles softly]
- "For Katie." I love that.
Let's do it
[snapping] for Katie.
- Cute.
- [snapping]
[snapping] Yeah. Yeah.
- [Lily] Come on.
- No, that's dumb when I do it.
- Bye, guys.
- Bye-bye.
Um, they think I should
get back out there.
- They're right, you should.
- If I have to, you have to.
What do they know?
They're stupid kids.
Really?!
I was not mocking
Egyptian culture.
Oat latte.
I tripped and turned it
into a funny little dance.
Double espresso.
This is not for you.
- Didn't want one.
- Yes, you did.
- Didn't actually.
- Did too.
- No.
- And a black coffee
for our fearless leader.
- Thank you.
- I owe you an apology.
Guys, I get rude
at hockey games.
I may lash out
and call people "mean"
when they are actually
being very reasonable.
But I am learning.
I was not kind.
If I was going
through all that
I'd lose my shit, too.
I didn't lose it.
[Dylan] You did.
- [Greg] I'm sorry.
- [Dylan] I'm sorry, too.
What the fuck are
you two talking about?
- Seriously, I have yoga.
- Is it hot yoga?
- Regular yoga.
- [Greg] Would I like that?
Okay, we can be done.
Uh, Cristle?
States you acknowledge
the infraction,
and the walks that
are not allowed on campus.
Uh, Crip, Clown, Scooby.
Quasimodo?
- I wouldn't do that.
- Okay, just sign here, please.
- Okay.
- And thank you
- for the flat white.
- Oh, sure.
It's very creamy.
And I'll take my pen.
Thank you.
[Dylan] Hey, you going
to Walt's later tonight?
- How bad is it?
- Free booze.
- Mm!
- And we all talk about
whatever his wife
culturally appropriated
- over her recent travels.
- Aha!
Come on, Greg, it'll be fun.
We can watch Walt and Joanie
give each other
hungry looks all night.
- Ah.
- And no one's talking about it,
- but we're all thinking the same thing.
- What?
- They're gonna fuck later and it's gonna be gross.
- Oh!
Yeah, well, now,
I'm definitely not gonna go.
Oh, oh, oh, you are dreaming.
- Hmm?
- You're Walt's shiny new toy
- and he wants to show you off.
- Oh.
- You can't say no.
- [chuckles] Oh.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Ah! As requested.
[Greg] Oh, thank you.
I can't wait to read these.
You know,
I might push this kid Tommy
to submit something.
He had to write a story
in the voice
of his favorite author,
and he chose me.
- [laughing]
- Come on, no big deal.
Let me see it, then.
It's a first draft.
It's a little undercooked.
- Let me.
- But you get the gist.
"Rooster was angry,
like an angry person."
Yeah, he's pretty mad in this.
"Moreover, his feathers
rustled in the breeze.
- "Ba-cock."
- Mm.
Does he think Rooster's
an actual rooster?
Only in some parts.
Sorry, sorry.
[tapping cup]
Repetitive adjectives,
the use of the word "moreover."
Sounds like
artificial intelligence.
Your accent sounds like
artificial intelligence.
AI is an existential threat
to what we do.
Tommy would never do that.
You know what?
Just to prove it,
I will ask him personally.
"Did you use AI,
- "for your story?"
- [text whooshes]
[phone dings]
[chuckles]
- [text whooshes]
- "Yes."
- Why would you admit that?
- He can get expelled for this.
- Oh, please, this guy. Come on.
- Greg, he's not wrong.
[Archie] You know,
you really surprise me, Greg,
'cause I know that you got
strong feelings about cheating,
due to the fact
that I'm currently supping
upon a lukewarm cup of Walt's
dog-piss excuse for coffee
because you refused
to buy me an oat milk cortado.
Oh, don't make this
personal, Arch.
Me? Christ alive, man,
when are you gonna stop
punishing me?
For humiliating my daughter?!
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe until she
recovers emotionally,
and remarries,
and you die.
Tommy is a good kid.
I want him gone.
You are such a petty little man.
- Well, guess what, man
- You're about to take this kid down
- for absolutely no reason!
- Okay. Okay. Okay!
Here's what we're gonna do.
He fails the assignment,
no matter what.
Thank you.
When's the assignment
officially due?
- Midnight.
- Have him submit a new story
to me, by then.
- Otherwise, he is out.
- Done.
How is it done?
It's not done,
but it will be done!
And I'll tell you why.
Because Tommy
is a great student.
[Tommy]
Wow, this place is cool.
Don't love that you've never
been here before.
It smells like
my grandpa's in here.
Oh, my God.
Here's the deal.
I have to work on my new book.
You have to rewrite your story
by midnight,
or your life is over.
Wait, there's a Rooster book
that's not published yet?
- Yes.
- If I could just snag some of that, I'd be done.
No, no, no.
We have to get to work.
We can hold each other
accountable.
- Oh, there he is.
- Oh, n Mm.
Just confirming your
attendance this evening.
I'm so sorry, Walt.
I'm not gonna be able
to make it tonight.
Tommy and I have
a little work to do.
Yeah, we're
accountability buddies.
Accountability comes
from within, young man.
And, Greg, it bears mentioning
that Teddy Roosevelt once said,
"While I hope that
as the chance occurs,
each man will get all the fun
that he can out of life."
- That's great advice.
- It's a freebie.
I'm gonna keep that
in my pocket.
Next time you have a shindig,
I'm definitely gonna be there.
I see.
Can I have your attention,
please?
It is Friday night
and you're at college.
Shut the books
and go do some living.
The library
is officially closed.
- See you tonight, Greg?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm excited.
- Wear something appropriate.
- I will.
- Where we going?
- You're busy.
How did he know where I was?
[Walt] [voice echoing]
I'm everywhere, Greg.
Fudge!
[Greg] [on phone]
No, no, no, no.
You cannot bail.
If I'm going, you're going.
Who made that rule?
I wanna have a bath
and be by myself.
Well, here's what
we're gonna do.
I am going to shoot a penny,
and if I get it in, we both go,
- and have a great time.
- You and your fucking pennies.
- Here we go.
- [coin clinking]
Please tell me you missed.
I've ordered Thai food.
Sorry, kiddo, I never miss.
We can do this.
Gimme that cleave.
Nope, you're a slut.
[clearing throat]
[knocking at door]
- [dog barking]
- [softly] Oh, hey.
Hey, sorry to pop by unannou
Wow. You look, uh
Wow.
Hey, is that the dress
that you got when
When we were at Portabello Road,
and then went for drinks
with Roland, and it started
Yeah, I'm not currently
doing memory lane.
Why are you here?
Well, um, I was wondering
if I could maybe have
Roscoe tonight?
I've had such a shit day.
Apparently, I have to heart
my unborn child,
otherwise,
I'm a terrible father.
- So you're not going to Walt's?
- No, no.
Too many eyes on me.
Don't think I can stomach
being the talk of the town.
Mm, yeah, that'd be awful.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna lie.
It does my heart good
to see you suffer.
[chuckles] Well, I'm glad
I can be of service.
[sighs] - Listen, I think
you'll have a great night.
I hated these things
when we would go together.
I don't know how
I'll do it on my own.
You'll be fine. Just get,
like, a little bit too drunk,
and then you'll be
everyone's best friend.
You can take Roscoe,
but bring him back
in the morning.
- [gasps]
- [Roscoe barking]
Giuseppe!
[in Italian] O te amo!
- [Katie] Ugh. Ugh!
- Oh, mio bellissimo ragazzo!
-Never got used to that
-Oh, my gorgeous boy.
- [licking continues]
- Oh, my God.
[Soft piano music
playing faintly]
[sighs] Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
- Hello.
- Hi.
Do I give Okay.
[jacket rustling]
Thank you.
[Piano music
continues playing]
[quiet chatter]
[Walt] There's my guy!
Go ahead, grab yourself a drink,
and then circle back here.
Mm.
[chatter continues]
I was worried
that I'd be overdressed.
At least I'm not
wearing a kimono.
[Piano music stops]
Wow, that song ended abruptly.
Hi, I'm Greg.
I'm Joanie.
Walt's wife.
Oh, sure.
- Konnichiwa.
- Arigato.
Would you mind if I left?
[light upbeat music playing]
[students chattering]
Hey, Tommy.
Mr. Russo, hey!
Sick fit!
You look like you work
on a cruise ship.
Thanks.
Shouldn't you be writing?
Chill, my guy.
I got it all done.
- [Greg] Excellent.
- Yeah.
Maybe I will have some light
reading to do before bed.
- You're going to bed already?
- [chuckles]
That is, like, super depressing.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- Hey, you should come out.
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Everyone will love it.
I don't think so.
All good.
- [chuckles]
- This is stupid anyway.
- What's that?
- I was just trying to impress some guys with this bad boy.
I don't have
a lot of friends here.
Just really sick of feeling
like an outsider, you know?
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
[keg clanging]
["Come On Eileen" by
Dexys Midnight Runners playing]
- Hey, Tommy. Wait up.
- Yeah?
- [claps] Hell, yeah! Let's go.
- [chuckles]
- Alright, alright.
- Okay.
One, two, three.
[grunting]
Oh, that's way heavier
than I remember.
[partiers cheering]
[George]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up!
- Bro, you cheat every time we fucking play.
- Alright!
- I'll back up.
- They said I could play if I brought a partner.
- Fuck. Fuck, shit.
- [Tommy] What do you think?
I think we'll be fine.
Wanna grab my coat?
- [Greg] And where do I stand?
- [Tommy] Here's good.
- The elbow just can't pass the table.
- Elbow can't pass that.
Yeah, don't be
a cheater like JD.
Alright, I'll do my best.
- [ball splashes lightly]
- [student] Shit.
- Hey!
- [George] Beginner's luck.
- That's beginner's luck.
- [Greg] Wow.
- I just take another shot?
- Yeah.
Alright, I'm gonna try it.
That was kind of fun
to get one in.
- Oh!
- What the fuck?
[Greg]
See what happens this time.
Our mothers cried ♪
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
Hey, bally, are you thirsty?
- Oh!
- Boom!
- [Greg] Oh!
- [cheering and shouting]
Yeah, Mr. Russo!
- Oh!
- [Tommy cheering]
- Fuck, that's game!
- Fuck, man, I can't believe it!
- [overlapping chatter]
- [Greg humming]
- Ha, ha!
- Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink!
Here we go.
- [both laughing]
- [both] Boom!
- How are you doing this?
- I don't know.
How am I doing this?
- Come on Eileen ♪
- [exclaiming]
There's no way
that can fucking happen.
You are a god!
Man, fuck this noise.
I'm tapping out.
- Yeah, run away, you little bitch!
- [Spooner] Fuck you, Tommy!
You always do this shit
when you win.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa!
Are you already friends
with these knuckleheads?
Yeah, but we're so glad
that you're here.
[overlapping agreement]
[George] Alright, boys.
Drink up.
Wait, if we won,
why are we drinking?
- Because we won.
- Come on!
Alright, one.
One, one, one, just one.
- [Tommy] Yeah.
- [glasses tapping]
[Greg] Ooh, wow!
What is that?
Ugh, God.
[light guitar music playing]
- Here you go.
- [Katie] Wow.
That looks very dirty.
Okay. [Chuckles]
[teeth clinking glass, slurping]
Are you okay?
Uh, I I haven't
flirted in a while.
Eye contact was my move.
What do you think?
Feels like you're mad at me.
If I was mad at you, you'd know.
[both laughing]
[softly] What the fuck?
[glass shatters]
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
It's all good.
Um, you know,
I actually have
another gig across town,
so I'm heading out, but, uh,
Tim will make you a fresh one.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
That's so cool.
[chuckles]
I'm just gonna flirt with Tim.
Okay.
Yeah, me, too, Tim.
I saw nothing.
But that made me sad.
Come join me.
[George]
Sweet house, Mr. Russo.
- [slurping]
- [bong water gurgling]
[Greg] There is so much
pot smoke in here.
I almost feel like
I am smoking it.
Bro, look in your hand.
- Oh-ho-ho-ho!
- [friends laughing]
Hello there! [Laughing]
This couch is freaking me out.
I used to have one
just like it growing up.
I lost my virginity to it.
- You mean on it?
- I do not.
- Oh, dude!
- What the fuck?
[overlapping chatter]
No, no, no. No, no.
Don't be embarrassed, George.
We've all got our weird stuff.
[JD] He's right.
You ever heard of someone
with a third nipple?
- Careful.
- You've got one of those?
I did.
- Don't do it.
- And a fourth.
Don't do it.
- And a fifth.
- Damn! What the
Five nipples is an anomaly.
I was teased like crazy
in high school.
So, I had 'em removed
before I came here.
Got my confidence back.
That's a great story, Pig Tits.
[laughter]
Oh, that is gonna stick.
I warned you.
- I miss high school.
- You know, me and Bernice
were all in love and shit.
[Spooner] Will you stop it
with this fucking Bernice shit.
Dude, she dumped me hard.
[Greg] Tommy, you have
to get over her. Trust me.
My wife left me
five years ago,
and I still haven't
bounced back.
I haven't been, you know,
haven't been with anybody since.
- No fucking way.
- It is the truth, Pig Tits.
[laughter]
Gotta get back in the game, man.
I mean, look, you're not fugly.
- You're fucking great at beer pong.
- Amazing.
Those are the two things
women my age are looking for.
That's the spirit, "Grg."
- That's the fucking spirit.
- Okay, well,
this has been really fun,
- but I am going to bed.
- [Tommy] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you talking about?
We're going out.
What are you talking about?
It's, uh, it's 9:15, dude.
Come on, Rooster.
What are you gonna do?
- Come on, Georgie.
- Sit at home? Be lonely?
No, I'm gonna do exactly
what I want to do.
I'm gonna lie in bed eating
garlic knots on a Friday night.
You said you never
went to college.
You gotta have at least
one epic night out.
I have imbibed
just enough alcohol
- to be at a perfect level
- [excited chatter]
I am not going to succumb
to peer pressure.
[exclaiming continues]
No! I'm not gonna do it.
Come on, we're going!
Alright, alright!
Okay, let's go!
[cheering and shouting]
[George] I was worried about my
diet, and I told her I eat vegetables,
- but I don't fuck with
- [overlapping chatter]
[Tommy]
Yo, this is gonna be lit.
We don't have frats,
but it's a frat-themed party,
- which is gonna be just as good.
- No, it's not, bro.
My cousin is
Is in a real frat.
I mean, they draw dicks
on each other's faces.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
In a real frat, you draw faces
on each other's dicks!
- What?
- I've never been to a frat.
[laughter]
- Oh, my God.
- Whoa, whoa. Hey!
What in the heck?
[gasps]
- Ooh!
- [flashlight clicking]
- Russo!
- Hey!
You responsible for this?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
We didn't do anything.
- "We"?
- Yeah, we
- What?
- [crickets chirping]
Where did they go?
Why do you have paint
on your hand there?
Oh, I just touched it.
"I just touched it"
is the number one excuse
I hear from guilty people.
These graffiti tags,
they've been going up
all over the campus.
[gasps] - And I know
you're responsible.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Yeah, 'cause the paint
isn't even wet anymore.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is very wet still.
- I could have told you that, man
- And now, it's on my gun.
- Oh, let me get you.
- No, don't!
- Mm.
- Don't.
I'm sorry.
Have you been drinking?
Have you been drinking?
I'm watching you, Greg.
I'm watching you.
No. Do not say it
after I say it.
I'm watching you.
- [whispering] I'm watching
- No! Ah! Ah!
I am watching you. Mm!
Good night, Officer.
[softly]
I'm watching you.
- Let's do this.
- Oh, guys!
Where did you go?
That was so awesome.
This is the best night
of my life.
[all chanting] Rooster!
Rooster! Rooster! Rooster!
Thank you.
My boring date's
in here somewhere.
- Have fun settling.
- Mm, thank you.
[Katie sighs] - [Archie]
And so, there's Roland,
absolutely knackered,
naked as the day he was born.
- [laughter]
- [guest] No way.
Mounting the constable's horse.
[fake laughter]
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Uh, if you'll excuse us, I think
we need a a moment here.
Why aren't you at home
being miserable with our dog?
You tricked me. You made
me think you were human.
- You always do that.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What makes you think
I'm not sad?
I was moping, so I took
Roscoe out for a walk,
and he sort of looked up at me
as if to say
"What are you doing, mate?
Get a grip."
So, I looked in the mirror.
I said to myself,
"You're amazing."
And here I am.
Okay, none of that is true.
You saw me looking hot
in this dress,
and you couldn't even
let me go to a party
without making it all about you.
I do love that dress.
You're such a prick.
[Katie sighs]
[sighs, chuckles]
- I remember you.
- [laughing] Hi.
So, uh, things didn't
work out with Tim?
Oh, I was supposed
to meet him later,
but he died of old age.
[both laughing]
Did you give him the, uh,
the flirty eye contact?
[Katie] I did, yeah.
["Abracadabra"
by Lady Gaga playing]
Abracadabra,
amor-oo-na-na ♪
Abracadabra,
morta-oo-ga-ga ♪
Abracadabra,
abra-oo-na-na ♪
- A penis shot?
- [laughing]
Hey, crushing it, brutha!
- Oh. A penis shot?
- No, thanks.
[Music changes
to "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.]
- [partiers jeering]
- [George] Oh, yo, yo.
This song is
for my friend, Greg,
who won't shut up
until I play it for him.
[singing along]
Everybody hurts ♪
- [partiers booing]
- [mouths] Thank you.
Sometimes ♪
Are you okay?
This song is how I feel
every day.
Uh, your daughter
is my favorite professor.
I was supposed to see her
tonight at this faculty thing.
But I ran away.
Oh, no, sad dad.
What happened?
Nothing, really.
I just got scared.
- Like a bitch?
- Like a bitch. Yes.
Dude, you gotta do
something about him, man.
- He's murdering the vibe.
- [partier booing]
[Greg] Fun question. Eva.
Have you ever looked
in the mirror
and seen a scared, hairy
old man looking back at you?
No. But that would definitely
freak me the fuck out.
Yeah, it's pretty horrifying.
Hey, can I scoochie on
real quick right there?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Thanks. Just Thank you.
- Oh.
- Yeah, a little bit more.
Oh, sorry.
That's better.
[chuckles]
[sighs] Made it.
Hey, man.
I think your time with us
might be over.
[Greg]
Feeling the same thing.
Gotta pee, though,
- and I can't unbutton my pants.
- [bottles clinking]
Would you take
these off, please?
- Hey, you know it's against the rules.
- [Greg] Right.
[groaning] I apologize
for being
such a buzzkill tonight.
What are you talking about?
This was epic.
Are you fucking high?
Yeah, probably
a a little, still.
Me, too.
Oh, perfect time
to knock out that paper.
[Greg] No, really?
You haven't even started it yet?
I got inspo, spent the night
with the real Rooster.
- I'm not Rooster.
- Yeah, you are.
No, I'm not.
As much as I would like to be,
I just have spent way
too much time being me.
Come on, this is college.
You get to reinvent
yourself here.
Just decide whoever
you want to be,
and you be that shit.
- Fellas.
- Oh, God.
Poor Pig Tits.
I can't even remember
his real name.
[chuckles] It's JD.
Pig Tits is better.
[laughing] Yeah.
[sighs]
You know, I wasn't lying
when I said I didn't fit in.
I'm a townie.
I only got accepted
'cause you get in
if one of your folks works here.
But, hey, I mean, look at me,
hanging out with the
With the fancy kids, huh?
[Tommy chuckles]
So, you know, you can be
the Rooster if you want.
It's like you say.
Can't write it if
it's not in you, man.
Hmm.
[chuckles]
Alright, help me up.
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you, sir.
- Of course.
- Come here.
- Okay.
- Bring it in.
Yep.
Everybody hurts ♪
- Good night, Tommy.
- Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Bam. Yeah.
Good night, Rooster.
Hold on ♪
Hold on ♪
[Tommy] The Rooster
got out of the handcuffs
the same way he had
a thousand times before.
[glass shattering]
Hold on ♪
[Tommy] He made his way
to the Cherry Blossom Club
and walked in
like he owned the place.
Hold on ♪
He was looking for Eduardo.
It was time to face the music.
I owe you an apology, Walt.
I insulted your wife earlier
for being vaguely racist,
and I'm sorry.
Joanie looks lovely, by the way.
She looks ridiculous, Greg.
She has chopsticks in her hair,
for God's sake.
But can I tell you something?
That is not gonna stop me
from taking a run at her later.
Cool visual.
[mouthing]
I love you.
You go ahead and wait here.
I'm gonna bring this to Joanie,
and then I'm gonna
introduce you to everybody.
- Sounds good.
- Yeah.
[Tommy] And that's
when he spotted Bernice.
[Intriguing music playing]
He'd been thinking
about this moment
since the first time they met.
And he'd left her alone
at the docks.
It was now or never.
[Intriguing music continues]
[Greg] Dylan.
Hey.
Listen.
That night in front
of your house?
I regretted it
the minute I left.
[Tommy] Bernice said
exactly what he wanted to hear.
- Cool.
- [music stops]
This is Chris.
- [Soft piano music playing]
- [guests chattering]
- Whoa. Solid handshake.
- Yeah.
You take care of our girl.
- What?
- My loss.
-[Intriguing music resumes]
-[Tommy] Seeing Bernice's new guy
made Rooster angry,
like an angry person.
But he shook it off.
There were other fish
in the sea.
Hey, don't tell anyone,
but I love your books.
- [softly] I'm telling everyone.
- [giggles] Oh!
[Tommy]
This was his nightclub now.
Scotch, please.
[Tommy]
And someone
[voice] Hey, Rooster.
[Tommy]
was gettin' lucky tonight.
♪♪
[slurping]
[gulping]
You must have been
really thirsty.
I was born thirsty.
Where were you born?
- Let's just have sex.
- I know just the place.
- Oh, ooh, love ♪
- [both moaning]
They'll never break
the shape we take ♪
[Cristle] Over there! Mm!
Wait, wait, wait.
Does it have to be
in Walt's office?
- That's part of it for me.
- Okay.
Clear the desk.
Oh, God, that's heavy.
[grunting]
[Tommy] The last
few years were a blur.
All he could tell you was
he'd lost his way for a while.
- Leave the egg.
- Yeah, we might use that later.
[Tommy] Still, he knew
one thing for certain.
The Rooster was back.
- Open me up.
- You got it, baby.
[grunting and moaning]
♪♪
Dad?
Katie. Morning.
Where are you coming from?
Just out for a jog.
Who's the other coffee for?
Roscoe.
Can't wake up
without an espresso.
Alright.
Okay, you have
to take this to go.
This was a mistake.
Didn't feel like a mistake.
Wait, you didn't park your car
outside of my house, did you?
I'm a clever boy.
Parked it around the block.
- [sighs]
- Do you wanna go again?
Get the fuck out!
["Slip Away"
by Perfume Genius playing]
Baby, let all them voices
slip away ♪
♪♪
Don't look back,
I wanna break free ♪
If you'll never
see 'em coming ♪
You'll never have to hide ♪
Take my hand,
take my everything ♪
If we only got a moment ♪
Give it to me now ♪
Oh, ooh, love ♪
They'll never break
the shape we take ♪
Oh, ooh ♪
They'll never, never break
the shape we take ♪
Oh, ooh ♪
Baby, let all them ♪
Voices slip away ♪
[laughter]
[child] Bye-bye.
[blows raspberries]
[Mellow music playing]
[straw slurping]
- [door opens forcefully]
- [music stops abruptly]
- [Greg] Jesus!
- Greg. Good morning.
- I thought I locked that.
- No, it only locks from my side.
It's a fire safety thing.
- How?
- Not sure.
My wife is back from Japan,
so I'm hosting
a faculty bar night.
And I'm hoping you'll join.
Yeah, I don't know, Walt.
I'm not good at parties,
and I don't know anybody.
Just stop by for a drink.
It starts at 8:00
and goes until question mark.
I will try very, very hard
to make it.
[Walt sighs heavily]
[Greg] It was an
old-fashioned standoff.
Rooster gave
a "don't fuck with me" stare.
But Captain Flaherty
was a Navy man,
a little bent from
all those years at sea.
He may have even
smiled a little.
Rooster's mouth got dry.
[lips smacking]
He knew one of them
would die tonight.
Look, even in
heightened situations,
I try to make Rooster
emotionally authentic.
So, don't be afraid to feel
what your character's feeling.
You can't write it
if it's not in you.
Alright, hand in your papers
on the way out.
I proudly remain
a hard copy guy,
so let's see the hard copies.
Fuck the trees, bro.
No, no, that's not
That wasn't my point.
Hey, hey.
Not gonna hand
anything in there, big guy?
Uh, not yet, but I'm so close
to starting it.
Well, that's the hardest step.
Due today.
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, and I am excited
to see the style of author
everyone decided to emulate.
And we will be reading a few
out loud on Monday.
You are not gonna want
to read this aloud, my friend.
You are gonna want to be alone.
- [chuckles] Okay.
- [chuckles]
Jesus.
[Soft music playing]
[water sloshing]
- [knocking]
- [Walt] Come, come!
Don't worry, only did my head.
Well done.
- Is that a new necklace?
- Yeah.
My wife brought it
back from Japan.
She said it makes me
look like Paul Mescal,
but I I don't know
who that is.
- It suits you.
- Thank you.
Let's commence mentoring.
I have set up three good
job interviews for you,
but the one I'm most
excited about is Biotecha.
You'll enjoy Diana.
She's a friend.
Years ago, she was
more than a friend.
But I wouldn't bring that up.
So, how should I deal
with the pregnancy issue?
I mean, I don't mind lying.
Well, at first.
And then, I feel guilty
and tell the truth
a second later.
Authenticity.
It's the only way
to live your life.
Okay.
Good.
I hate your chain.
Felt that comin'.
Oh, I, oh, I ♪
I played the fool ♪
I laugh at me,
I'm trying, trying ♪
Falling sometimes,
sometimes flying ♪
Cry me an ocean
of one-liners ♪
Cruel, cruel, cruel ♪
Oh ♪
Mr. Russo! Wait up.
Hm? Oh, hey, Tommy.
- All done.
- Alright.
[Tommy]
You're gonna love it,
because the guy
I chose to emulate
is one of the greats.
[clicking tongue]
What? Me?
- Yeah, man.
- Oh, come on, that's
[laughing] What?
No, no, no, no, no.
I am not a great. I
[laughing] You are a nut.
- Okay, you fail.
- What?
I'm kidding!
I'm kidding.
- Oh.
- [Greg] Ah.
- I'm looking forward to reading it.
- [Tommy] Sweet.
- Thank you, Tommy.
- Yeah, yeah, thank you.
You're somethin'.
- You inspire me, bro.
- [chuckles] Okay.
Stop it.
[sighing] Oh.
[Upbeat music playing]
[Sunny] You don't love it.
[Music fades out]
I mean, you look radiant.
I used a fan
to make her hair blow.
You know, Mo, we really should
figure out some sort of system
so that you know when I want you
to be a part of our conversations.
I could raise my hand.
Walt told me I should
be more authentic.
It just seems
kind of crazy to me.
I mean, you know, who
Who posts
about their personal business
like this?
Well, literally everyone
on Earth does it.
[chair creaking]
I will say that it would
be pretty weird
if the father
did not like that post.
- Mm-hmm.
- Just my two cents.
- Fine, I will heart the post.
- [phone reaction popping]
Because I do support you.
And now, everybody knows it
- 'cause I've hearted it.
- [Sunny] Thank you.
Wish me luck.
[kiss smacks]
- I'll see you Monday.
- I'll see you then.
It's great.
Now, your friends know,
- your family know.
- [door closes]
Strangers know.
- Pretty fucked, huh?
- [sighs]
[students chattering] - Okay,
get in those seats, people.
Let's fire this up,
'cause I am back, okay?
- Lights, please, Lily.
- Boom, nap time.
[chuckles] I'm just kidding.
I wouldn't really do that.
Slideshow's up.
Professor Russo?
You okay, Professor Russo?
- I'm amazing.
- [phone thuds]
Okay. Gauguin.
Best known for his
Tahitian landscapes.
[inhales sharply, sighs]
Also known for leaving his wife
for a 13-year-old.
Can anyone guess
what his consequences were?
I'm gonna give you a hint.
He's a man.
- Nothing?
- Very good. Very good, Zoey.
Uh, actually, a Gauguin
just sold at auction
for $105 million.
One almost wishes that
his Tahitian mistresses
saw some of that money.
Right?
But all they got was syphilis.
Yes, Zoey?
Fuck that guy in the face.
- Yeah, correct.
- [students laughing]
Write that down.
Oh, keeping it
in the syphilis family,
guys, Toulouse-Lautrec.
Wait till you hear about
this little French asshole.
- I fucking love art history.
- [chuckles]
The misogyny on this campus
is out of control.
I know, it's really kinda
making me miss Dubai.
You would be vilified if you
behaved like your shit bag husband.
[chuckles] - And And tell
me if I'm being inappropriate.
You are, but I'm drinking
it in, so speak freely.
Um, okay, he's out there
literally putting babies
- in everyone.
- Yeah.
It's Well, it's one person,
but, yes.
Katie, you really need to be
getting back in the game,
- okay?
- I [sighs]
- Just fuck some randos.
- Yes.
I don't know.
I-I'm sad, and I'm tired,
and I don't have the energy
to learn a new penis.
Well, it doesn't have
to be a guy.
I recently started
dating lesbians.
- [Katie] That's cool.
- Cute!
I mean, I don't know
if I'll stick with it
'cause I don't love having
to keep my nails trimmed,
- but, um
- Ouchie.
Okay. The window
for speaking freely
is closed forever, actually.
Um, that's my dad.
- Hey, Dad! Dad, come over here.
- Huh? Oh, hey!
Come here, save me, hi.
- [chair thumps]
- Oh, my God! That's
Don't do
[chuckles] Dad, what
the hell are you doing?
I tripped and turned it into
the "Walk Like an Egyptian"
dance.
- Okay.
- Uh-huh.
What do you guys do
when you trip?
So, uh, I don't mean to invade
your space, but could I
- Sit, yeah.
- Thank you.
Um, loved watching you
beat Archie's perfect ass
- with a ladle.
- I wouldn't say it's perfect.
Come on, Dad, it's
It's pretty good.
I mean, I just really
appreciated you,
like, taking the fight
to a male oppressor.
Mm, you're welcome.
I would do anything for Katie.
- [Katie chuckles softly]
- "For Katie." I love that.
Let's do it
[snapping] for Katie.
- Cute.
- [snapping]
[snapping] Yeah. Yeah.
- [Lily] Come on.
- No, that's dumb when I do it.
- Bye, guys.
- Bye-bye.
Um, they think I should
get back out there.
- They're right, you should.
- If I have to, you have to.
What do they know?
They're stupid kids.
Really?!
I was not mocking
Egyptian culture.
Oat latte.
I tripped and turned it
into a funny little dance.
Double espresso.
This is not for you.
- Didn't want one.
- Yes, you did.
- Didn't actually.
- Did too.
- No.
- And a black coffee
for our fearless leader.
- Thank you.
- I owe you an apology.
Guys, I get rude
at hockey games.
I may lash out
and call people "mean"
when they are actually
being very reasonable.
But I am learning.
I was not kind.
If I was going
through all that
I'd lose my shit, too.
I didn't lose it.
[Dylan] You did.
- [Greg] I'm sorry.
- [Dylan] I'm sorry, too.
What the fuck are
you two talking about?
- Seriously, I have yoga.
- Is it hot yoga?
- Regular yoga.
- [Greg] Would I like that?
Okay, we can be done.
Uh, Cristle?
States you acknowledge
the infraction,
and the walks that
are not allowed on campus.
Uh, Crip, Clown, Scooby.
Quasimodo?
- I wouldn't do that.
- Okay, just sign here, please.
- Okay.
- And thank you
- for the flat white.
- Oh, sure.
It's very creamy.
And I'll take my pen.
Thank you.
[Dylan] Hey, you going
to Walt's later tonight?
- How bad is it?
- Free booze.
- Mm!
- And we all talk about
whatever his wife
culturally appropriated
- over her recent travels.
- Aha!
Come on, Greg, it'll be fun.
We can watch Walt and Joanie
give each other
hungry looks all night.
- Ah.
- And no one's talking about it,
- but we're all thinking the same thing.
- What?
- They're gonna fuck later and it's gonna be gross.
- Oh!
Yeah, well, now,
I'm definitely not gonna go.
Oh, oh, oh, you are dreaming.
- Hmm?
- You're Walt's shiny new toy
- and he wants to show you off.
- Oh.
- You can't say no.
- [chuckles] Oh.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Ah! As requested.
[Greg] Oh, thank you.
I can't wait to read these.
You know,
I might push this kid Tommy
to submit something.
He had to write a story
in the voice
of his favorite author,
and he chose me.
- [laughing]
- Come on, no big deal.
Let me see it, then.
It's a first draft.
It's a little undercooked.
- Let me.
- But you get the gist.
"Rooster was angry,
like an angry person."
Yeah, he's pretty mad in this.
"Moreover, his feathers
rustled in the breeze.
- "Ba-cock."
- Mm.
Does he think Rooster's
an actual rooster?
Only in some parts.
Sorry, sorry.
[tapping cup]
Repetitive adjectives,
the use of the word "moreover."
Sounds like
artificial intelligence.
Your accent sounds like
artificial intelligence.
AI is an existential threat
to what we do.
Tommy would never do that.
You know what?
Just to prove it,
I will ask him personally.
"Did you use AI,
- "for your story?"
- [text whooshes]
[phone dings]
[chuckles]
- [text whooshes]
- "Yes."
- Why would you admit that?
- He can get expelled for this.
- Oh, please, this guy. Come on.
- Greg, he's not wrong.
[Archie] You know,
you really surprise me, Greg,
'cause I know that you got
strong feelings about cheating,
due to the fact
that I'm currently supping
upon a lukewarm cup of Walt's
dog-piss excuse for coffee
because you refused
to buy me an oat milk cortado.
Oh, don't make this
personal, Arch.
Me? Christ alive, man,
when are you gonna stop
punishing me?
For humiliating my daughter?!
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe until she
recovers emotionally,
and remarries,
and you die.
Tommy is a good kid.
I want him gone.
You are such a petty little man.
- Well, guess what, man
- You're about to take this kid down
- for absolutely no reason!
- Okay. Okay. Okay!
Here's what we're gonna do.
He fails the assignment,
no matter what.
Thank you.
When's the assignment
officially due?
- Midnight.
- Have him submit a new story
to me, by then.
- Otherwise, he is out.
- Done.
How is it done?
It's not done,
but it will be done!
And I'll tell you why.
Because Tommy
is a great student.
[Tommy]
Wow, this place is cool.
Don't love that you've never
been here before.
It smells like
my grandpa's in here.
Oh, my God.
Here's the deal.
I have to work on my new book.
You have to rewrite your story
by midnight,
or your life is over.
Wait, there's a Rooster book
that's not published yet?
- Yes.
- If I could just snag some of that, I'd be done.
No, no, no.
We have to get to work.
We can hold each other
accountable.
- Oh, there he is.
- Oh, n Mm.
Just confirming your
attendance this evening.
I'm so sorry, Walt.
I'm not gonna be able
to make it tonight.
Tommy and I have
a little work to do.
Yeah, we're
accountability buddies.
Accountability comes
from within, young man.
And, Greg, it bears mentioning
that Teddy Roosevelt once said,
"While I hope that
as the chance occurs,
each man will get all the fun
that he can out of life."
- That's great advice.
- It's a freebie.
I'm gonna keep that
in my pocket.
Next time you have a shindig,
I'm definitely gonna be there.
I see.
Can I have your attention,
please?
It is Friday night
and you're at college.
Shut the books
and go do some living.
The library
is officially closed.
- See you tonight, Greg?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm excited.
- Wear something appropriate.
- I will.
- Where we going?
- You're busy.
How did he know where I was?
[Walt] [voice echoing]
I'm everywhere, Greg.
Fudge!
[Greg] [on phone]
No, no, no, no.
You cannot bail.
If I'm going, you're going.
Who made that rule?
I wanna have a bath
and be by myself.
Well, here's what
we're gonna do.
I am going to shoot a penny,
and if I get it in, we both go,
- and have a great time.
- You and your fucking pennies.
- Here we go.
- [coin clinking]
Please tell me you missed.
I've ordered Thai food.
Sorry, kiddo, I never miss.
We can do this.
Gimme that cleave.
Nope, you're a slut.
[clearing throat]
[knocking at door]
- [dog barking]
- [softly] Oh, hey.
Hey, sorry to pop by unannou
Wow. You look, uh
Wow.
Hey, is that the dress
that you got when
When we were at Portabello Road,
and then went for drinks
with Roland, and it started
Yeah, I'm not currently
doing memory lane.
Why are you here?
Well, um, I was wondering
if I could maybe have
Roscoe tonight?
I've had such a shit day.
Apparently, I have to heart
my unborn child,
otherwise,
I'm a terrible father.
- So you're not going to Walt's?
- No, no.
Too many eyes on me.
Don't think I can stomach
being the talk of the town.
Mm, yeah, that'd be awful.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna lie.
It does my heart good
to see you suffer.
[chuckles] Well, I'm glad
I can be of service.
[sighs] - Listen, I think
you'll have a great night.
I hated these things
when we would go together.
I don't know how
I'll do it on my own.
You'll be fine. Just get,
like, a little bit too drunk,
and then you'll be
everyone's best friend.
You can take Roscoe,
but bring him back
in the morning.
- [gasps]
- [Roscoe barking]
Giuseppe!
[in Italian] O te amo!
- [Katie] Ugh. Ugh!
- Oh, mio bellissimo ragazzo!
-Never got used to that
-Oh, my gorgeous boy.
- [licking continues]
- Oh, my God.
[Soft piano music
playing faintly]
[sighs] Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
- Hello.
- Hi.
Do I give Okay.
[jacket rustling]
Thank you.
[Piano music
continues playing]
[quiet chatter]
[Walt] There's my guy!
Go ahead, grab yourself a drink,
and then circle back here.
Mm.
[chatter continues]
I was worried
that I'd be overdressed.
At least I'm not
wearing a kimono.
[Piano music stops]
Wow, that song ended abruptly.
Hi, I'm Greg.
I'm Joanie.
Walt's wife.
Oh, sure.
- Konnichiwa.
- Arigato.
Would you mind if I left?
[light upbeat music playing]
[students chattering]
Hey, Tommy.
Mr. Russo, hey!
Sick fit!
You look like you work
on a cruise ship.
Thanks.
Shouldn't you be writing?
Chill, my guy.
I got it all done.
- [Greg] Excellent.
- Yeah.
Maybe I will have some light
reading to do before bed.
- You're going to bed already?
- [chuckles]
That is, like, super depressing.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- Hey, you should come out.
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Everyone will love it.
I don't think so.
All good.
- [chuckles]
- This is stupid anyway.
- What's that?
- I was just trying to impress some guys with this bad boy.
I don't have
a lot of friends here.
Just really sick of feeling
like an outsider, you know?
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
[keg clanging]
["Come On Eileen" by
Dexys Midnight Runners playing]
- Hey, Tommy. Wait up.
- Yeah?
- [claps] Hell, yeah! Let's go.
- [chuckles]
- Alright, alright.
- Okay.
One, two, three.
[grunting]
Oh, that's way heavier
than I remember.
[partiers cheering]
[George]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up!
- Bro, you cheat every time we fucking play.
- Alright!
- I'll back up.
- They said I could play if I brought a partner.
- Fuck. Fuck, shit.
- [Tommy] What do you think?
I think we'll be fine.
Wanna grab my coat?
- [Greg] And where do I stand?
- [Tommy] Here's good.
- The elbow just can't pass the table.
- Elbow can't pass that.
Yeah, don't be
a cheater like JD.
Alright, I'll do my best.
- [ball splashes lightly]
- [student] Shit.
- Hey!
- [George] Beginner's luck.
- That's beginner's luck.
- [Greg] Wow.
- I just take another shot?
- Yeah.
Alright, I'm gonna try it.
That was kind of fun
to get one in.
- Oh!
- What the fuck?
[Greg]
See what happens this time.
Our mothers cried ♪
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
Hey, bally, are you thirsty?
- Oh!
- Boom!
- [Greg] Oh!
- [cheering and shouting]
Yeah, Mr. Russo!
- Oh!
- [Tommy cheering]
- Fuck, that's game!
- Fuck, man, I can't believe it!
- [overlapping chatter]
- [Greg humming]
- Ha, ha!
- Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink!
Here we go.
- [both laughing]
- [both] Boom!
- How are you doing this?
- I don't know.
How am I doing this?
- Come on Eileen ♪
- [exclaiming]
There's no way
that can fucking happen.
You are a god!
Man, fuck this noise.
I'm tapping out.
- Yeah, run away, you little bitch!
- [Spooner] Fuck you, Tommy!
You always do this shit
when you win.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa!
Are you already friends
with these knuckleheads?
Yeah, but we're so glad
that you're here.
[overlapping agreement]
[George] Alright, boys.
Drink up.
Wait, if we won,
why are we drinking?
- Because we won.
- Come on!
Alright, one.
One, one, one, just one.
- [Tommy] Yeah.
- [glasses tapping]
[Greg] Ooh, wow!
What is that?
Ugh, God.
[light guitar music playing]
- Here you go.
- [Katie] Wow.
That looks very dirty.
Okay. [Chuckles]
[teeth clinking glass, slurping]
Are you okay?
Uh, I I haven't
flirted in a while.
Eye contact was my move.
What do you think?
Feels like you're mad at me.
If I was mad at you, you'd know.
[both laughing]
[softly] What the fuck?
[glass shatters]
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
It's all good.
Um, you know,
I actually have
another gig across town,
so I'm heading out, but, uh,
Tim will make you a fresh one.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
That's so cool.
[chuckles]
I'm just gonna flirt with Tim.
Okay.
Yeah, me, too, Tim.
I saw nothing.
But that made me sad.
Come join me.
[George]
Sweet house, Mr. Russo.
- [slurping]
- [bong water gurgling]
[Greg] There is so much
pot smoke in here.
I almost feel like
I am smoking it.
Bro, look in your hand.
- Oh-ho-ho-ho!
- [friends laughing]
Hello there! [Laughing]
This couch is freaking me out.
I used to have one
just like it growing up.
I lost my virginity to it.
- You mean on it?
- I do not.
- Oh, dude!
- What the fuck?
[overlapping chatter]
No, no, no. No, no.
Don't be embarrassed, George.
We've all got our weird stuff.
[JD] He's right.
You ever heard of someone
with a third nipple?
- Careful.
- You've got one of those?
I did.
- Don't do it.
- And a fourth.
Don't do it.
- And a fifth.
- Damn! What the
Five nipples is an anomaly.
I was teased like crazy
in high school.
So, I had 'em removed
before I came here.
Got my confidence back.
That's a great story, Pig Tits.
[laughter]
Oh, that is gonna stick.
I warned you.
- I miss high school.
- You know, me and Bernice
were all in love and shit.
[Spooner] Will you stop it
with this fucking Bernice shit.
Dude, she dumped me hard.
[Greg] Tommy, you have
to get over her. Trust me.
My wife left me
five years ago,
and I still haven't
bounced back.
I haven't been, you know,
haven't been with anybody since.
- No fucking way.
- It is the truth, Pig Tits.
[laughter]
Gotta get back in the game, man.
I mean, look, you're not fugly.
- You're fucking great at beer pong.
- Amazing.
Those are the two things
women my age are looking for.
That's the spirit, "Grg."
- That's the fucking spirit.
- Okay, well,
this has been really fun,
- but I am going to bed.
- [Tommy] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you talking about?
We're going out.
What are you talking about?
It's, uh, it's 9:15, dude.
Come on, Rooster.
What are you gonna do?
- Come on, Georgie.
- Sit at home? Be lonely?
No, I'm gonna do exactly
what I want to do.
I'm gonna lie in bed eating
garlic knots on a Friday night.
You said you never
went to college.
You gotta have at least
one epic night out.
I have imbibed
just enough alcohol
- to be at a perfect level
- [excited chatter]
I am not going to succumb
to peer pressure.
[exclaiming continues]
No! I'm not gonna do it.
Come on, we're going!
Alright, alright!
Okay, let's go!
[cheering and shouting]
[George] I was worried about my
diet, and I told her I eat vegetables,
- but I don't fuck with
- [overlapping chatter]
[Tommy]
Yo, this is gonna be lit.
We don't have frats,
but it's a frat-themed party,
- which is gonna be just as good.
- No, it's not, bro.
My cousin is
Is in a real frat.
I mean, they draw dicks
on each other's faces.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
In a real frat, you draw faces
on each other's dicks!
- What?
- I've never been to a frat.
[laughter]
- Oh, my God.
- Whoa, whoa. Hey!
What in the heck?
[gasps]
- Ooh!
- [flashlight clicking]
- Russo!
- Hey!
You responsible for this?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
We didn't do anything.
- "We"?
- Yeah, we
- What?
- [crickets chirping]
Where did they go?
Why do you have paint
on your hand there?
Oh, I just touched it.
"I just touched it"
is the number one excuse
I hear from guilty people.
These graffiti tags,
they've been going up
all over the campus.
[gasps] - And I know
you're responsible.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Yeah, 'cause the paint
isn't even wet anymore.
Yes, it is.
Yes, it is very wet still.
- I could have told you that, man
- And now, it's on my gun.
- Oh, let me get you.
- No, don't!
- Mm.
- Don't.
I'm sorry.
Have you been drinking?
Have you been drinking?
I'm watching you, Greg.
I'm watching you.
No. Do not say it
after I say it.
I'm watching you.
- [whispering] I'm watching
- No! Ah! Ah!
I am watching you. Mm!
Good night, Officer.
[softly]
I'm watching you.
- Let's do this.
- Oh, guys!
Where did you go?
That was so awesome.
This is the best night
of my life.
[all chanting] Rooster!
Rooster! Rooster! Rooster!
Thank you.
My boring date's
in here somewhere.
- Have fun settling.
- Mm, thank you.
[Katie sighs] - [Archie]
And so, there's Roland,
absolutely knackered,
naked as the day he was born.
- [laughter]
- [guest] No way.
Mounting the constable's horse.
[fake laughter]
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Uh, if you'll excuse us, I think
we need a a moment here.
Why aren't you at home
being miserable with our dog?
You tricked me. You made
me think you were human.
- You always do that.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What makes you think
I'm not sad?
I was moping, so I took
Roscoe out for a walk,
and he sort of looked up at me
as if to say
"What are you doing, mate?
Get a grip."
So, I looked in the mirror.
I said to myself,
"You're amazing."
And here I am.
Okay, none of that is true.
You saw me looking hot
in this dress,
and you couldn't even
let me go to a party
without making it all about you.
I do love that dress.
You're such a prick.
[Katie sighs]
[sighs, chuckles]
- I remember you.
- [laughing] Hi.
So, uh, things didn't
work out with Tim?
Oh, I was supposed
to meet him later,
but he died of old age.
[both laughing]
Did you give him the, uh,
the flirty eye contact?
[Katie] I did, yeah.
["Abracadabra"
by Lady Gaga playing]
Abracadabra,
amor-oo-na-na ♪
Abracadabra,
morta-oo-ga-ga ♪
Abracadabra,
abra-oo-na-na ♪
- A penis shot?
- [laughing]
Hey, crushing it, brutha!
- Oh. A penis shot?
- No, thanks.
[Music changes
to "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.]
- [partiers jeering]
- [George] Oh, yo, yo.
This song is
for my friend, Greg,
who won't shut up
until I play it for him.
[singing along]
Everybody hurts ♪
- [partiers booing]
- [mouths] Thank you.
Sometimes ♪
Are you okay?
This song is how I feel
every day.
Uh, your daughter
is my favorite professor.
I was supposed to see her
tonight at this faculty thing.
But I ran away.
Oh, no, sad dad.
What happened?
Nothing, really.
I just got scared.
- Like a bitch?
- Like a bitch. Yes.
Dude, you gotta do
something about him, man.
- He's murdering the vibe.
- [partier booing]
[Greg] Fun question. Eva.
Have you ever looked
in the mirror
and seen a scared, hairy
old man looking back at you?
No. But that would definitely
freak me the fuck out.
Yeah, it's pretty horrifying.
Hey, can I scoochie on
real quick right there?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Thanks. Just Thank you.
- Oh.
- Yeah, a little bit more.
Oh, sorry.
That's better.
[chuckles]
[sighs] Made it.
Hey, man.
I think your time with us
might be over.
[Greg]
Feeling the same thing.
Gotta pee, though,
- and I can't unbutton my pants.
- [bottles clinking]
Would you take
these off, please?
- Hey, you know it's against the rules.
- [Greg] Right.
[groaning] I apologize
for being
such a buzzkill tonight.
What are you talking about?
This was epic.
Are you fucking high?
Yeah, probably
a a little, still.
Me, too.
Oh, perfect time
to knock out that paper.
[Greg] No, really?
You haven't even started it yet?
I got inspo, spent the night
with the real Rooster.
- I'm not Rooster.
- Yeah, you are.
No, I'm not.
As much as I would like to be,
I just have spent way
too much time being me.
Come on, this is college.
You get to reinvent
yourself here.
Just decide whoever
you want to be,
and you be that shit.
- Fellas.
- Oh, God.
Poor Pig Tits.
I can't even remember
his real name.
[chuckles] It's JD.
Pig Tits is better.
[laughing] Yeah.
[sighs]
You know, I wasn't lying
when I said I didn't fit in.
I'm a townie.
I only got accepted
'cause you get in
if one of your folks works here.
But, hey, I mean, look at me,
hanging out with the
With the fancy kids, huh?
[Tommy chuckles]
So, you know, you can be
the Rooster if you want.
It's like you say.
Can't write it if
it's not in you, man.
Hmm.
[chuckles]
Alright, help me up.
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you, sir.
- Of course.
- Come here.
- Okay.
- Bring it in.
Yep.
Everybody hurts ♪
- Good night, Tommy.
- Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Bam. Yeah.
Good night, Rooster.
Hold on ♪
Hold on ♪
[Tommy] The Rooster
got out of the handcuffs
the same way he had
a thousand times before.
[glass shattering]
Hold on ♪
[Tommy] He made his way
to the Cherry Blossom Club
and walked in
like he owned the place.
Hold on ♪
He was looking for Eduardo.
It was time to face the music.
I owe you an apology, Walt.
I insulted your wife earlier
for being vaguely racist,
and I'm sorry.
Joanie looks lovely, by the way.
She looks ridiculous, Greg.
She has chopsticks in her hair,
for God's sake.
But can I tell you something?
That is not gonna stop me
from taking a run at her later.
Cool visual.
[mouthing]
I love you.
You go ahead and wait here.
I'm gonna bring this to Joanie,
and then I'm gonna
introduce you to everybody.
- Sounds good.
- Yeah.
[Tommy] And that's
when he spotted Bernice.
[Intriguing music playing]
He'd been thinking
about this moment
since the first time they met.
And he'd left her alone
at the docks.
It was now or never.
[Intriguing music continues]
[Greg] Dylan.
Hey.
Listen.
That night in front
of your house?
I regretted it
the minute I left.
[Tommy] Bernice said
exactly what he wanted to hear.
- Cool.
- [music stops]
This is Chris.
- [Soft piano music playing]
- [guests chattering]
- Whoa. Solid handshake.
- Yeah.
You take care of our girl.
- What?
- My loss.
-[Intriguing music resumes]
-[Tommy] Seeing Bernice's new guy
made Rooster angry,
like an angry person.
But he shook it off.
There were other fish
in the sea.
Hey, don't tell anyone,
but I love your books.
- [softly] I'm telling everyone.
- [giggles] Oh!
[Tommy]
This was his nightclub now.
Scotch, please.
[Tommy]
And someone
[voice] Hey, Rooster.
[Tommy]
was gettin' lucky tonight.
♪♪
[slurping]
[gulping]
You must have been
really thirsty.
I was born thirsty.
Where were you born?
- Let's just have sex.
- I know just the place.
- Oh, ooh, love ♪
- [both moaning]
They'll never break
the shape we take ♪
[Cristle] Over there! Mm!
Wait, wait, wait.
Does it have to be
in Walt's office?
- That's part of it for me.
- Okay.
Clear the desk.
Oh, God, that's heavy.
[grunting]
[Tommy] The last
few years were a blur.
All he could tell you was
he'd lost his way for a while.
- Leave the egg.
- Yeah, we might use that later.
[Tommy] Still, he knew
one thing for certain.
The Rooster was back.
- Open me up.
- You got it, baby.
[grunting and moaning]
♪♪
Dad?
Katie. Morning.
Where are you coming from?
Just out for a jog.
Who's the other coffee for?
Roscoe.
Can't wake up
without an espresso.
Alright.
Okay, you have
to take this to go.
This was a mistake.
Didn't feel like a mistake.
Wait, you didn't park your car
outside of my house, did you?
I'm a clever boy.
Parked it around the block.
- [sighs]
- Do you wanna go again?
Get the fuck out!
["Slip Away"
by Perfume Genius playing]
Baby, let all them voices
slip away ♪
♪♪
Don't look back,
I wanna break free ♪
If you'll never
see 'em coming ♪
You'll never have to hide ♪
Take my hand,
take my everything ♪
If we only got a moment ♪
Give it to me now ♪
Oh, ooh, love ♪
They'll never break
the shape we take ♪
Oh, ooh ♪
They'll never, never break
the shape we take ♪
Oh, ooh ♪
Baby, let all them ♪
Voices slip away ♪
[laughter]
[child] Bye-bye.
[blows raspberries]