The Audacity (2026) s01e04 Episode Script
Vanitas
1
What's your name, soldier?
Is that thing recording me?
You're teaching him about war?
The reason we're all here,
the new headmaster,
Dr. Beatrice Webb.
Carl Bardolph all I need
is for him to come on board
for, like, 3% to 5% stake,
and I am invincible.
Aah!
Zero days since I stabbed someone, Joanne.
You threatened my livelihood.
I knew Carl wouldn't suffer
a fool like you.
I need you. We're profiling
every human on the planet
what they want, what they think,
what people believe.
Yes!
Well, JoAnne, you were wrong about me.
You tried to cut me off at the knees,
but I grew new shins.
And now I am big enough to forgive you.
And I got news.
Oh, and I I know
you're gonna want to hear it.
I've been doubting myself, my abilities.
But fucking A, this guy is formidable.
And I just had the most volcanic sex
with someone who's been
with me the whole time,
my most committed sexual partner
myself.
I loved myself.
And isn't isn't that
the whole point of therapy?
I I gave love to me.
Maybe it's it's the most
most important love of all.
It wasn't, uh, whatever
penetrative sex with my wife.
But I penetrated
my fist.
Yeah, you know what?
That fist that fist
is now a symbol
of my strength against all odds
and my belief in me.
Okay, call me back.
It's Duncan.
Duncan, shut up!
Friends, Quants,
Sons of Milpitas,
Hypergnomes, assemble!
Ask not if we will have the honor
of hosting the legend
and new partner and board member,
Carl Bardolph.
We will.
He's coming.
Carl Bardolph is coming.
He's he's one of us!
Yes! Yes! Whoo!
Slide! Slide!
The slide? The slide?
No. No, no.
Okay. Okay!
We're gonna make money with money!
Slide! Slide!
Slide! Slide! Slide!
Yes!
You you all
it's a team!
It's a team!
One second.
I'm beefing up Xander's backend.
Can't you hurry up?
No, I can't.
Martin.
You're mad.
You seem mad.
Are you mad at me?
You want me to vomit up
all the awful things
you said about me last night?
I have better things to do, Martin.
I only repeated all the demeaning things
you said to me about Xander.
That was that was talk.
That was
I was offering you my help,
my time, my smarts,
something that most people actually value.
Cupertino, for instance, only
the most important tech company
to ever exist.
You said they don't value you.
Know what?
Bugger off, Martin.
Better yet, ask Alexander if I'd be
a net positive on your team.
Go on.
Rhodes scholar.
Doctorate in philosophy, Oxford.
"New York Times" bestseller.
And yes
don't even say it, Martin
one week on the list definitely counts!
Go on, ask him!
Then bugger off!
Did you take your antibiotics?
Yes, and they're just making it worse.
Well, consider yourself lucky
they didn't put you on heartworm pills.
Honey, your needs are my needs.
But my needs are also my needs.
And I need to give my needs
a bit more attention.
Truth is, I'm not upset anymore.
I'm just recalibrating.
Flat white, please, for Anushka.
Sure.
Coffee for Tim.
Hey.
Your proposal to send psychotherapists
for the workers
at our Guangzhou factories,
that was a prank, right?
A bunch of us thought maybe.
Big Tim was sure it wasn't.
But it was a prank, right?
No, it certainly wasn't a prank.
Damn!
Big Tim always wins.
Well, they're rioting now.
So I guess the window for mindfulness
has officially closed.
- Different factory.
- Ah, right.
Well, in that case, it's been considered
at the highest levels and was found to be,
sadly, utterly unworkable.
But Tim also found it to be hysterical.
- Mm.
- You know how he is.
He loses faith in someone,
especially if he
- Thanks.
- Suspects disloyalty,
he can be quite cruel.
Unforgiving, even.
He forgave you for the massage therapist
on your corporate card.
We love science!
We love facts!
Now we need a place to run some laps!
Krypton, tungsten, molybdenum, and radium!
Help us finance our brand-new stadium!
Give! Give! Give!
- What?
- The boosters?
I know.
Why do we need the stadium again?
Do we have many, or any, athletes here?
- That's why we need a stadium.
- Yeah.
We need to start talking it up to parents
of any prospective kids who even look like
- they throw a ball.
- Exactly.
Beatrice, I wanted to ask you,
when you were at Harvard,
did you know Millicent Giblan?
What class were you in?
Jace's ex.
She used to tend bar at that place.
You know, behind the Coop.
Grendel's Den.
That's the one.
I'm afraid I don't know Millicent.
Parents and guardians
need to be making your way
- to your child's first period.
- Okay, good to see you.
Beatrice, it's always so hard to tell.
And you look so young.
What year were you at Harvard?
Lili, I never went to Harvard.
All my degrees are from
University of Wisconsin-Madison
my bachelor's, master's, and doctorate.
That's funny.
Wisconsin?
Good comp lit program.
Great Nepalese food.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Made it.
- Fine.
Um, hey, can you, um
Can you do Jamie's first period?
I have some trustee business.
A robust art market starts right here,
finding creators of future value,
cultivating the taste
of future collectors.
Sorry.
We're starting with bridges
because art is about connecting.
So find someone new
not your life partner
and, uh, let's build something together.
Uh, sir, there
someone was looking for you.
Everyone partnered up?
I saw those stinko
investments you were taking.
Same crime, but dumber.
Okay, you need to stop spying on me.
Whoa, listen.
Look, I know you don't want me
going through
your underwear drawer, right?
But let's be fair.
That's where you keep your underwear.
- Ew.
- Can I just tell you my news?
I got Bardolph.
I did.
He's investing.
And he's joining the board.
Yeah, after everything,
even if he left a scar.
I I'm impressed.
Thank you.
And, look, Duncan,
I can recommend a new therapist for you.
What?
I really don't think
you should be without one.
- You think I'm a lost cause.
- I don't.
I just think you are
a sucker for shortcuts.
What does that mean?
Look, I have a client.
She's got daddy issues as thorny as yours.
And she's had a string of toxic men,
all while holding down a big job.
Serves on boards.
Impressive, but miserable.
But then we did the work,
and she's turned things around.
And she is cutting
all of them out of her life.
She's even dating a woman now.
Ingrid?
Ingrid Talbert?
No.
All right, how's everyone doing?
Ingrid Talbert.
Let's liven things up and switch partners
like a square dance.
Hey, hey, hey.
You okay? Yeah?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Yeah?
Hey, mind if I jump in?
Odd man out.
Do you mind if we thrupple up?
Okay, let's just say it is Ingrid, right?
She's on the board of Smote.
And Orlando Lee is the CEO
the most toxic man to ever live.
I mean, he
he makes his employees
wear astronaut diapers
while they're coding.
So Orlando Lee is your
star patient's boss, right?
I mean, is she trying to cut him out?
No, and her name isn't Ingrid.
Sure, okay.
But she's collecting the votes,
boardroom coup, bye-bye, toxic man.
United we purge.
The stock is gonna soar.
The stock's not gonna soar.
Everybody hates this guy.
Yeah, well, I'm just saying
it's probably not gonna soar for long.
It'll bump for one virtuous minute.
- And then
- How are we doing over here?
Great. We're doing good.
You good?
This is fabulous.
Really inspiring stuff.
Toxic men succeed
because the fear they create produces
What?
What, what, what?
Loyalty.
Ingrid may have fixed her daddy issues.
The Valley has not.
No one can fill his shoes.
It's a loser option.
And for most, loyalty forbids even trying.
So power vacuum.
Monster returns, monster wins.
And then the stock will take off like
A thrust without mercy.
Oh, JoAnne.
Boy, I wish we had our session tomorrow.
You you are so good.
Like, I know you hate me,
maybe even wish me physical pain.
But I just have to say
I'm serious you are
an incredibly talented person.
If you were running the world, it
it would be a better place.
I know.
Yeah.
All right, show me what you got.
Yeah, no.
Buy it up.
I want 150,000 shares.
Smote.
Duncan.
You know, it kind of seemed
like you were having
a therapy session back there.
You really think that's appropriate?
Well, if you don't violate them,
how are you supposed to know
where your boundaries are?
But you're right.
Yeah, yeah.
No, tonight
tonight's about the children.
Yeah.
This one's pretty good.
Little Grace Clancy.
Sweet, right?
Let me ask you, Gary.
Do you think, uh, my empathy
makes me a better art lover?
I do have quite a collection.
Yeah, it's actually
an interesting question.
Like, does does one need
a developed sense of empathy
to appreciate great art?
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I would say yes, but
Anushka, I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
Sometimes I'm not good at saying things.
I am I am sorry.
Will you forgive me?
Say "woof."
What?
Wow, Mary Poppins is in a temper.
Not here.
What are you
Did you call her?
Uh, yeah.
No. Who? Sorry.
The bloody reporter, Nena Marx.
Ooh, I hate her.
I I hate her.
Did you read any of my texts?
I'm persona non grata at Cupertino.
They think I leaked the acquisition rumor.
They think I'm profiting!
You you're dead to me
unless you solve this.
Okay, okay, okay.
How can I help?
Just tell me.
Call Nena.
Put the rumors to bed.
She's got to print that
the talks between Cupertino
and Hypergnosis are over.
Stop it!
- What? What? What?
- Stop it!
Set the record straight.
On the record.
- Take your medicine.
- Okay.
If you'll be my spoonful of sugar.
Duncan, I am being 10,000% serious.
And I am 10,000% going
to call Nena Marx, okay?
Because in a few days,
Carl Bardolph is set
to invest $300 million in Hyper-G.
That serious enough for you?
You bagged Bardolph?
Oh, I bagged him.
I bagged him good.
And that's exactly what
I'm gonna tell Nena Marx.
- He's a giant.
- No.
And when Carl and I close, I swear
I will shout it to everyone.
And Big Tim will know
that you are true and loyal.
And you do a little vindication cha-cha
- on his desk.
- Stop it.
You know, flash a little ankle.
Stop it.
I would if I could.
I would if I could.
I
I just want you to know that I
I think you're a very talented person.
And if you were running the world,
no doubt it would be a better place.
Oh, we're doing this.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
Please proceed safely to the front door
- of the school.
- Duncan.
And have a safe journey home.
Oh, Lili.
Where you been?
The board business.
Come on.
We we need to leave now.
Yeah, I was at art.
- Okay, I did math stuff.
- Thank you so much.
What Duncan, please.
- Oh, my God, what the
- What are you doing?
- Duncan, what are
- Hey!
Hey, you, uh, can you open this?
- That's my that is mine.
- Please
- That is mine.
- We're good, Al. Thank you.
- Oh, my God, this is mine.
- What?
This is my cube.
That's my cube!
- What is wrong with you?
- Of course.
Jamison.
Jamison stole my cube.
That is
Oh, my
you said Thelma took it.
No, she swore up and down
that Thelma was innocent.
- Oh, God, Duncan.
- "Don't fire her, Daddy."
No, this oh, my God.
I don't know, Duncan.
But listen, I
we've gotta leave.
Are you insane?
Come on.
Write a check.
Let's go.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Yeah, may his, um
may his memory be a blessing.
Oh, why wouldn't it be a blessing?
Oh, no, no.
I wasn't suggesting otherwise.
It's it's
it's an expression.
It's a a Jewish
no oh, yep.
Oh, okay.
Bye-bye.
Um
Alvin died.
- Alvin the landlord?
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
- I know.
Such a sweet man.
Oh, no.
You know, I always felt
that he kept the rent down
because he knew that I was helping people.
And, you know, he really liked you.
He always he always said,
she's a dish.
Who owns our house now?
I guess his daughter, Beth.
She's I don't know,
she wasn't very pleasant.
I mean, she's a lawyer, so say no more.
Gary, she's gonna jack the rent
- Well
- Or sell.
Sell it out from under us.
And why not?
I mean, it's probably worth
You know, there might be a world
in which he left us the house.
7.5 million?
Oh, yeah. No.
He's not gonna leave us the house.
Oh, my God.
If only you would have bought it,
- or any house.
- What?
10 years ago. 15.
Wait, how was I supposed
to buy a house 15 years ago?
I was just getting started.
And then I got priced out.
And then I got divorced.
Remember?
I don't want to lose our home.
Our offices I mean, how are
we supposed to see our clients?
This is so unfair.
I mean, the only reason
that the real estate market is
sky-high is because
we keep these billionaire
man-children sane enough
to make that kind of money.
Okay, I'm gonna call Beth back.
No, you don't call, okay?
No, I will call.
Okay.
Carl.
Please. Hi.
First of all, I am so sorry
about missing our session.
That was
It's okay.
You're not charging me for it.
No, no. God, no.
No, it was a a family
And today's session, I mean,
I'll gladly pay for it.
But I don't think
I should have to, because
well, because, um, I'm firing you.
Carl, my son was in the hospital.
Is that what you do to therapists?
Is that the right word?
You fire them?
Yeah, okay.
I'm firing you, yeah.
Either way, I'm I'm done.
I always left here feeling a little bit
castrated.
And I need my balls, so
thank you.
Yeah, have a good
have a good day.
I Carl, wait.
We there are other options.
We could, um we could maybe
put a pause on your sessions.
Or some therapists do retainers
so that you could, uh, call me
if those anger issues arise.
Well, the problem is, is that the anger
is what made me the money.
But don't feel bad about it.
You did me a favor
when you stood me up like that.
The scales fell from my eyes.
I
I'm getting back
into the game, so thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Well, I'm proud of you.
I, uh what's the, uh
what's the endeavor?
Just because I would hate for you
to to be involved
straight out of the gate,
the therapy gate, in
in anything triggering.
I'll be fine.
Thanks.
Leave a message, or, better yet, text.
Beth, JoAnne Felder here.
Gary and I are heartbroken.
Your father, what an extraordinary man
Alvin.
You know, he and Gary developed
a funny kind of bond.
I won't say father/son, exactly,
but, um, maybe generous uncle,
peculiar nephew.
They had their lunches.
Gary always came home with a smile,
like a midlife love affair
platonic, obviously.
Uh uh, right, well,
I mean, you must be swamped.
It's it is a hell
of a process, grieving.
My couch is open to you, of course,
anytime, on the house.
Speaking of the house, uh,
I was calling to see if you
if you could, between estate lawyers
and funeral homes, squeeze in a chat
to discuss what you might be thinking, uh,
or what Alvin was thinking
if he mentioned us
and our situation
uh, not precarious.
I I won't say "precarious,"
precisely, but pre pre
Pre uh
I I can't seem
to finish my sentence.
Beth, we want to talk about the rent.
About, uh, keeping the rent where
where we could possibly
Press 3 to delete.
Message delivered.
Fuck!
Hi.
Who's that dude?
That's Sigmund Freud.
- Freud?
- Yeah.
Are you familiar with Freud?
Wasn't he, like, diddling his sister?
I think you're thinking of Dickens.
Oh, he was, like, the coke fiend, right?
- Uh
- Oh, no, it was his daughter.
No. No, no, no.
He wasn't diddling Anna.
Diddled with Anna's head, didn't he?
He analyzed her.
And it was, some feel, inappropriate.
Tell it to the cocaine, right?
Hello?
Hello?
Hey, are you, like, Gary Jr.?
You said you were gonna
give that cube back.
I mean, guess I'm not the only
klepto, you little bitch.
That was legendary.
Hello?
Coward.
Not now, JoAnne.
I am writing.
It's Orson.
Oh, yeah. Come in.
Orson, come in.
Hey. Oh.
Hey.
You okay?
Do should I get your mom?
Um, can you teach me how to use
the washing machine, please?
Yeah, sure, no problem.
Oh, what, now?
Uh
I know I messed up with the stool sample.
But, um
The antibiotics are just
they're not working,
and they're making it worse for me.
And I really just
I can't be like this right now.
Okay. Okay.
It is it's okay.
It's okay.
This is totally
this is natural.
Um you know,
I know this nutritionist.
I'm on a task force with her.
People swear by this woman.
I could call her.
Yeah?
Great.
Come on.
Well, good news.
SecVa felt bad about missing the barbecue.
Tom put the screws to her.
Well, I just pointed out
she wasn't helping
the vets any by not showing.
Mm-hmm.
So SecVa approved the transfer
of a dozen engineers who know
the MUMPS system, and
The what?
Sorry, what what system?
MUMPS system.
It stands for, uh, mobile
nobody fucking knows anymore.
It's been around longer than me.
And how long have you been at the VA?
No, no, no.
Me, Tom.
It's pre-moon landing.
They've put patches on top
of patches over the decades.
But, you know, that's that's
what we're trying to do here,
is cure ourselves of the MUMPS.
This is this is good news.
This is progress.
Yeah, the MUMPS, progress.
And how old are these engineers?
Well, we'd be pulling them
out of retirement,
so, I mean, they're a little older.
Guys! Guys.
Read the room.
30-year-olds retire here, okay?
This is not a nursing home.
- No walkers in my war room.
- Okay.
Okay, but this is the job
that we are paying you to do.
No, you're not paying me.
Did SecVa fast-track the money?
Or is she taking an old man dump on me?
I can't even sell the data product.
Data product?
What data product
are you planning on selling?
Oh, you thought your welfare checks
made this project worth my time?
The only play is to sell the vets' data
big pharma, insurers.
So you see people in need,
and you go to how to sell
their medical files.
Yes, it's called capitalism.
The government ought to try it.
Okay, if we have guardrails,
data sales, you know, might work.
No.
No.
This deal's dead.
You, Duncan Park,
you are the fucking problem.
Mm.
Sorry. Bardolph's smart.
He's gonna want to steer
the ship, but hard no.
- Okay? It's
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
He has a quick trigger.
I think this is worth salvaging, Duncan.
Maybe I talk to Tom about
meeting somewhere in the
Don't bother.
Don't bother.
Okay.
The engagement docs will be ironclad.
From a synergy POV, you want
a wall around his people.
Yes.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hi.
Do we really need to take a helicopter?
Pippa Tang wants to meet you.
Good news!
Mm?
Pippa's rescheduling for tomorrow.
Great. Let's go home.
What?
And miss a night in Napa?
But, Lili, my daughter
She's, what, 15?
She'll be fine.
Do she know how to work a microwave?
Don't fret.
Pippa will pony up, but she
likes to make us beg for it.
What does she get in return?
Her name on the stadium.
And she'll express her priorities
for the school, and
But what if I can't agree to them?
For $40 million?
Just lie back and shine brightly.
You don't have to like Pippa Tang.
I don't happen to.
Just think what we can do with 40 million.
I'm gonna book us a spa.
All these tests they put you through,
poking and prodding,
just makes you feel
like a freak for having
a natural human body.
I mean, hello, we're all
just factories for shit.
And blood.
And pus.
And milk sometimes.
I mean, it's what we do.
We ooze.
We secrete.
And they'll never take that away from us.
- He's all set.
- Okay.
I've got a custom tincture just for you.
It is my proprietary blend.
It will adapt itself to shake up
your whole microflora economy.
Mm, interesting.
What uh, what's in there?
- Well, it's proprietary.
- Mm.
But mostly Chinese herbs,
holistic reductions,
compounds to reduce inflammation.
So that's gonna fix my shit factory?
- Orson
- You bet.
Here you go.
20 drops to start,
and then three drops three times a day.
- Okay.
- Three and three.
Great, great.
What's the damage on everything?
The damage?
Cool, yeah. Sorry.
Uh, well, of course I will apply
the medical colleagues discount.
That's thank you so much.
That's great.
And the consultation fee, it's included
with the proprietary prescriptions.
- Uh-huh.
- The total, then, is $1,962.
Oh, I didn't
can you
maybe don't take yeah.
- Okay, uh
- It's activated.
Right.
It already
and how much of this will insurance cover?
Ugh, of course insurance companies,
they only cover phallocentric,
Western-normative treatments.
Okay.
Take credit cards?
- Let me grab the machine.
- Great.
We're not gonna tell your mom about this.
Yeah?
Lili, this is
it's all too much.
"Too much,"
that's my "not enough."
No.
You know, I don't come
from great wealth either.
But I practice radical acceptance.
And now being rich is second nature.
Yeah, it's possible to adjust
to any identity, really.
Wouldn't you agree?
I'm just rolling with whatever comes.
Yeah, I like that.
Like in Aspen, right?
At the education thingy.
I was so excited to find
the perfect leader for Las Altas.
Walked up, made you the offer
right on the spot.
When'd you realize
I meant to make the offer
to Pamela Douglas?
Do you mean,
when did I realize you mixed up
the only two Black women at the summit?
- If I did
- 30 seconds.
You knowingly infiltrated or suborned
a wool-pulling antic.
And you can't tell Black women apart.
I had been drinking.
And I think with the altitude and
You offered it to me.
I signed my own name on the contract
and never once lied.
- We're being honest?
- Mm-hmm.
My daughter is brilliant,
really brilliant,
and deserves to go to Stanford.
Las Altas is the best feeder school, so
Good for you.
Still, this is not
a great look for either of us.
Not arguing that.
But I do need to know, if someone asks
I'm not gonna lie.
You stood there in my backyard
as I introduced a Harvard graduate.
You said nothing.
Just keep saying nothing
or this all falls apart
for you, for Harmony.
There's nothing I can do to help.
Then we take it to our graves.
Fine.
You first.
Here's the phone number.
And name?
Jamison Esme Park.
- Your daughter?
- Yeah.
She'll never forgive you.
Well, she's not gonna find out.
Why can't you just
Why can't I get one of those
Pakistani CTOs
with that H1N1 visa?
Because, like, when they whine,
I could send them back to Bangor.
Bangalore. India.
And H1N1 is the bird flu.
Looks like she used
to torrent "Sailor Moon."
No, I I don't want to know
about sex stuff, okay?
Just tell me
tell me if she's stealing.
Pirating is stealing.
Yeah, it is.
Oh, Jim Jam.
- Hey, get out!
- I'm sorry.
Carl Bardolph is early.
- Park.
- Hey. Um
Whoa, this where you keep
all the good stuff?
Yeah, I wasn't expecting you till, um
Well, I could pretend
that I messed up the time,
but I did, in fact, want to
catch you with your pants down.
Sorry to disappoint you.
Um, but, yeah, please sit.
Stay.
Make yourself comfortable.
Um, we had a whole
whole thing prepared
Who's the chickadee?
Oh, uh, Harper, how about, uh, we show
Mr. Bardolph the power
of Gnodin?
We triangulated this guy's metadata
from multiple data lakes.
Sending him a coffee coupon
now.
72% chance.
Please tell me
there's something besides this.
72% means there's a
There's a 100% chance that
this does not work for me.
This is just baseline tech.
There's there's there's more.
So much more.
- Hm.
- Stuff that no one else has.
Prepare to have your mind blown.
You have two minutes.
Stan stays as long as you can
vouch for his secrecy.
I cut his tongue out.
Get on with it, please.
You two are about to be
the third and fourth people
on Earth to see what we can do here.
Orlando Lee, CEO of Smote.
You've heard of him.
Of course you have.
After running billions
of Monte Carlo simulations,
predicted by our God-tier algo
we call "Gnodin"
what was it, Harper,
the percentage of certainty?
- 32.
- No, of certainty.
- Wasn't it 89?
- Yes, it was 89.
Yeah, I'm certain this is
a giant waste of my time.
Stan?
Oh, yeah, he doesn't have a tongue.
I will speak for him.
What the fuck are you doing?
89% certainty Lee is pushed out of Smote
in the next 48 hours.
Come on, how did you get that?
We are perched on the shoulders
of everyone in his sphere
all-seeing.
We know which execs just got
a prescription to benzos,
who canceled their trip to Biarritz,
who's buying tampons,
their their spouse's
data stream,
their kids' test scores,
the doorman's bank account.
Okay, so you you grab
a bunch of loose facts,
and you slap on a narrative.
And this is what you call information?
Information with insight,
like if you fused a quant
with a psychiatrist.
Because if I'm right, Lee is fired,
leading to a 94% chance
that the stock rises,
but only briefly, because who wants to be
the sacrificial suit?
So power vacuum.
Stock falls.
And what have we got on that, Harper?
Uh, 79%?
Uh, not quite
77.9.
Ah, let's just call it 78.
78%. Code monkeys, you know?
Then Gnodin's psycho-economics
Psycho-economics.
- Yes.
- Psycho okay.
It tells us toxic loyalty
will lead to an 84% chance
that he's rehired, leading to a 97% chance
that stock skyrockets from that news.
You ride that whole wave, Carl,
with shorts and buys,
and you get to take, like,
four bites out of that apple.
Your algorithm says all that?
I bought 150,000 shares
of Smote last night.
Okay, we'll be in touch.
Thank you for the tarot reading.
You're leaving?
Uh, yeah.
Probably should have mentioned
that Carl was Orlando's mentor.
But then you probably already know that.
You are the fucking data guy, right?
I thought that guy couldn't talk.
If any of that had any validity
Trust me, it does.
I swear.
If he goes and warns Orlando,
he's gonna rewrite the future.
And then
Someone's fucking their own mother.
And I think it's me.
Mmm, that was divine.
Do we get dessert?
Chocolate gateau?
Ah, yes.
No, I can't.
I'm sorry. No.
When I was Jamie's age,
I used to eat a whole box of penne
with Alfredo sauce so thick
you could spackle a wall.
Sometimes I didn't even hurl.
Do not tell Jamie that.
She already thinks I've got food issues.
I don't always relate to my own daughter.
Is that awful to say?
No.
- She's a teenager.
- Yeah.
Duncan says she's stealing from us.
- Aw.
- Yeah.
Like, she puts
hey, thank you.
Thanks.
Yeah, she, like, puts her little trophies
in the school trophy case.
Is she the one who smashed it?
No.
No, no, no.
No, that was Duncan.
And he's paying for the repairs
with interest.
Is he
Violent at home?
No.
I wish.
Tell me about the perfect Harmony's daddy.
- Where is he?
- He was just a friend of ours.
Yeah, he agreed to, you know, cough up.
It was my egg. Darcy carried.
Oh, I didn't have you down
as a lady's lady.
So dónde está Mrs. Darcy?
LA.
Actress.
Yeah.
She ran off with another Darcy,
and that was almost worse
than the betrayal.
Oh, lady, I've been there.
Mm?
Keep thinking I'm over it, and then
oh, you probably met her at the luncheon.
Anushka Bhattachera.
She's awful.
I made such a great hire.
Come on, grab the bottle.
Come on.
Did you see my pottery work?
The giant bong?
Yeah, may
You didn't do a bong, Tess.
You made a bowl.
Lilac glaze.
Very tasteful too.
Remember, Martin?
Yes.
Uh, lilac. Very nice.
Dad, eyes on me.
What was my history project on?
Yeah, one sec.
Estimating how many people could fit
in the Roman Colosseum.
I asked him.
It's a wonder you saw any of that,
given how you were with Duncan Park
for a while.
What were you two up to?
I'm on his board.
The company isn't doing great.
Neither is he.
I was trying to stop a public meltdown
in the midst of 500 of the Valley's
most influential parents.
Are you insinuating something?
No.
That explains it.
Good fight, boys!
Did you track me, you piece of shit?
You cannot do this.
You cannot
Do what?
You you're gonna warn
Orlando over there,
your protégé.
Oh, did your all-knowing algo
predict what I'm gonna do?
Huh? Did it?
- Did it?
- Yeah.
That's free will!
You have no idea what this is about to do.
I live in the error margin, pal.
You didn't say anything to him yet?
Yeah, I said "howdy"
and and, "Where's the keg?"
If you tell him what I told you,
we will never know if I was right or not.
It's it's Schroeder's cat.
It's Schroedinger, you dunce.
Don't call me a dunce.
Then don't be a dunce.
If you really thought I was one,
you wouldn't be here.
Actually, being here, it proves to me
You believe in my algo.
And maybe maybe
Jesus.
Ow!
Maybe it scares you.
My hot potato's too hot
in your soft, tattletale hands.
Yeah, this how you used to do business?
This is why you vanished
from the scene, Carl?
Huh?
I show you tech that will revolutionize
how we predict behavior, and you
you run to the playground
and you tell your boyfriend?
Control, Alt, Delete!
I have jumped through every hoop
you put in front of me
because I'm a fighter, you know?
You don't think I'm a fighter?
Oh, baby
You made your point.
You've made your point.
Oh, good.
Thank you for hearing me.
Hey.
I love this guy.
This dude used to drop dudes
twice his size and half his age.
Who's this dude?
Orlando Lee, I'd like you to meet someone.
This is Duncan Park.
- He's a fighter.
- Oh, no way, dude!
- Hey, all right.
- Yeah.
You want to do it?
No, no, I he wasn't
he didn't mean it that way.
So not a fighter?
So your manhood is a metaphor?
We got our next fight!
He's got
I didn't get a weapon.
Yeah, no. Okay. Okay.
Oh!
Ah, man!
Oh!
I thought we said not the face!
Control, Alt, Escape!
Control, Alt, Escape!
That's not the safe word, cuck!
What?
No, no, no, no, no.
This is why we do it!
- Yah!
- Oh!
- Yah!
- Oh!
Control, Alt, Delete!
He said "Control, Alt, Delete," asshole!
Let him go!
I wanted to show you something.
Mm-hmm.
What is that?
The surface of the moon?
It's my home in Napa.
It burned down.
Oh, my God.
Oh, you know who our neighbor was
and whose house is fine?
Pippa fucking Tang.
Our donor?
So when the fires were raging,
Pippa bribed our private
firefighters double
to protect her house instead.
Wow.
You know the only thing that's left?
Is that a bench?
A marble bench.
In our former garden.
Duncan asked me to marry him there.
He doesn't even care.
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
No, I'm so sorry.
I married a terrible actress
from a hemorrhoid commercial
who is also a whore.
Give me her number.
Her number?
Yeah, so Dunky gave me this app.
It hides your number and your voice.
It makes you sound like
that Darth Vader guy.
Okay.
- Her name is Darcy.
- Darcy
Yeah.
You're a little slut.
- And so is the Darcy
- Darcy. Darcy.
Other Darcy, you hemorrhoid, dumb-dumb,
stupid girl, dummy.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, I just peed myself!
I urinated!
Whoo!
Crisscross.
Hello?
We know what you did.
The betrayal.
What would Cupertino think
of you and Duncan
if they knew?
Oh, my God!
Are you feeling overwhelmed?
Try to remember your life
has value, "Anus Hooka."
Shut up!
Just close your stupid gob!
When you carry shame around,
you make people around you unhappy.
You seem riddled with anxiety
and guilt, "Anus Hooka."
Try breathing and counting
backwards from ten.
Ten, nine, eight
Hello, Nena.
Sorry if it's late.
I'm calling to set the record
straight on Hypergnosis.
Deep background.
You can say a source close to Cupertino.
The acquisition talks failed.
But then Alvin turns to me,
and he says, Gary,
what the hell happened
to our neighborhood?
Since when did giving a damn
about your neighbors
- become a four-letter word?
- Aw.
They don't make 'em like that anymore.
- No, they don't.
- Hi.
Oh, my God.
Beth, hi.
I didn't know you were coming by.
I would have I oh.
I-I-I am so, so sorry about your dad.
Oh, I'm so sorry to barge in like this.
No, please.
Oh, this is Irvin.
Hi.
- Great to meet you.
- You too.
Beth uh,
Beth has told me how much
her dad adored you both.
And he was always
speaking of you so warmly.
- Mm.
- I know he really admired
how you two both do good work.
And you you don't expect
to make as much
as everyone else here does.
Mm.
I always wished I could be
more like him, but I just
I I hate to say it
I always tell her,
it's okay to care about money.
And and you are the, um
the brother or the husband?
Irvin's handling the sale.
- We're gonna list at 8.
- Mm.
Probably would sell
closer to 8.4.
But we wanted to propose,
if you could pay all cash,
we'd give it to you at listing.
Wow.
Thank you.
We'll get Pippa at the winter gala.
It'll be fine.
But you can't tell the board.
What am I supposed to say?
Tell them food poisoning.
The chopper crashed.
So another lie?
I think you'll manage, Beatrice.
I feel pretty sure of it.
From the student
who knows ♪
That to have one of those ♪
Would be suicide ♪
And everybody sings ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da
- Yeah ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da,
ba, ba, ba, da ♪
- Uh, huh
- Ba, ba, ba, da ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da
- All right
Ba, ba, ba, da,
ba, ba, ba, da ♪
We're going where ♪
The air is free ♪
On the National Express
There's a jolly hostess ♪
Selling crisps and tea ♪
But it's hard to get by
When your arse is the size ♪
Of a small country
And everybody sings ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da,
ba, ba, ba, da ♪
Yeah
- Ba, ba, ba, da
Ba, ba, ba, da
- Uh, huh ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da,
ba, ba, ba, da ♪
- All right
- Ba, ba, ba, da ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da ♪
We're going where ♪
The air is free ♪
What do you think about one seat for me
and one for my number two here?
You let him call you that?
What's that on your forehead, buddy?
Forget money.
Where do you want to be?
Societal collapse is upon us,
and sooner than you think.
I miss you, man.
If you don't have the bone mass.
What the hell are you watching?
You did this?
You stabbed me in the back
Oh!
of my heart?
In episode 104, you will see
the Tech Bro Fight Club,
which is in fact a real thing.
This is Duncan Park.
He's a fighter.
He didn't mean it that way.
So your manhood is a metaphor?
We got our next fight.
It's tech bros wanting to feel
the realness of physical combat.
Oh!
And all the things
that are just metaphorical
during their daytime activity,
where they are being told to fight,
to have that kind of war like
Sun Tzu aggression in their business life.
I think there's just a lot of like,
especially nowadays,
what is it to be a man?
And I guess that answers their
question for them sometimes.
Oh. Fuck.
I thought okay,
no, no background. No.
Well, here they're going to do it in
a back warehouse to get their ya-ya's out
and to feel what that
masculine warrior energy is.
Just been kicked in the balls.
Three, two Action!
Oh!
I couldn't resist not having that be part
of the fabric of our Silicon Valley.
I show you tech that will revolutionize
how we predict behavior,
and you run to the playground
to tell your boyfriend?
The thing that Duncan can say
legitimately to Bardolph is,
"I've jumped through every hoop
you've put in front of me."
And he puts another one in front of him.
He succeeds in a way
that's emotionally very real.
When he's strangling
Orlando Lee at the end
with his eyes fixed on Bardolph,
it is a way of saying,
"I am a fucking warrior
and not to be taken lightly."
He said control is to
Lee, asshole! Let him go!
I think that's what Bardolph sees in him.
He does not give up.
Now they're ready to go to the next phase
of their relationship.
When did you realize
I meant to make the offer
to Pamela Douglas?
When did I realize you mixed up
the only two black women at the summit?
- If I did.
- 30 seconds.
In episode four, there's more
than just Fight Club.
There's also the fight
between Lily and Beatrice.
It's almost like they have
a summit meeting at the spa
where all of these truths come out.
And we take it to our graves.
Fine.
You first.
It's a fun dance between the
two of them, literally in mud.
And then it's almost like this,
we have a lot more in common
series of scenes that follow.
Almost a friendship is emerging
between the two of them.
So Duncy gave me this app.
It hides your number and your voice.
Hello.
We know what you did.
What would Cupertino think
of you and Duncan if they knew?
Oh, my God!
Are you feeling overwhelmed?
Try to remember your life has
value, Anus huka.
Shut up!
Anushka takes that Easter Island head,
which symbolizes ancient beliefs,
and smashes this new technology.
That's the sort of collision
point that I kind of adore,
that idea that the AI bot
has provoked her to violence.
And when we get to episode five,
we'll see what the consequences
of that violence are.
I'm calling to set the record
straight on Hypergnosis.
The acquisition talks failed.
What's your name, soldier?
Is that thing recording me?
You're teaching him about war?
The reason we're all here,
the new headmaster,
Dr. Beatrice Webb.
Carl Bardolph all I need
is for him to come on board
for, like, 3% to 5% stake,
and I am invincible.
Aah!
Zero days since I stabbed someone, Joanne.
You threatened my livelihood.
I knew Carl wouldn't suffer
a fool like you.
I need you. We're profiling
every human on the planet
what they want, what they think,
what people believe.
Yes!
Well, JoAnne, you were wrong about me.
You tried to cut me off at the knees,
but I grew new shins.
And now I am big enough to forgive you.
And I got news.
Oh, and I I know
you're gonna want to hear it.
I've been doubting myself, my abilities.
But fucking A, this guy is formidable.
And I just had the most volcanic sex
with someone who's been
with me the whole time,
my most committed sexual partner
myself.
I loved myself.
And isn't isn't that
the whole point of therapy?
I I gave love to me.
Maybe it's it's the most
most important love of all.
It wasn't, uh, whatever
penetrative sex with my wife.
But I penetrated
my fist.
Yeah, you know what?
That fist that fist
is now a symbol
of my strength against all odds
and my belief in me.
Okay, call me back.
It's Duncan.
Duncan, shut up!
Friends, Quants,
Sons of Milpitas,
Hypergnomes, assemble!
Ask not if we will have the honor
of hosting the legend
and new partner and board member,
Carl Bardolph.
We will.
He's coming.
Carl Bardolph is coming.
He's he's one of us!
Yes! Yes! Whoo!
Slide! Slide!
The slide? The slide?
No. No, no.
Okay. Okay!
We're gonna make money with money!
Slide! Slide!
Slide! Slide! Slide!
Yes!
You you all
it's a team!
It's a team!
One second.
I'm beefing up Xander's backend.
Can't you hurry up?
No, I can't.
Martin.
You're mad.
You seem mad.
Are you mad at me?
You want me to vomit up
all the awful things
you said about me last night?
I have better things to do, Martin.
I only repeated all the demeaning things
you said to me about Xander.
That was that was talk.
That was
I was offering you my help,
my time, my smarts,
something that most people actually value.
Cupertino, for instance, only
the most important tech company
to ever exist.
You said they don't value you.
Know what?
Bugger off, Martin.
Better yet, ask Alexander if I'd be
a net positive on your team.
Go on.
Rhodes scholar.
Doctorate in philosophy, Oxford.
"New York Times" bestseller.
And yes
don't even say it, Martin
one week on the list definitely counts!
Go on, ask him!
Then bugger off!
Did you take your antibiotics?
Yes, and they're just making it worse.
Well, consider yourself lucky
they didn't put you on heartworm pills.
Honey, your needs are my needs.
But my needs are also my needs.
And I need to give my needs
a bit more attention.
Truth is, I'm not upset anymore.
I'm just recalibrating.
Flat white, please, for Anushka.
Sure.
Coffee for Tim.
Hey.
Your proposal to send psychotherapists
for the workers
at our Guangzhou factories,
that was a prank, right?
A bunch of us thought maybe.
Big Tim was sure it wasn't.
But it was a prank, right?
No, it certainly wasn't a prank.
Damn!
Big Tim always wins.
Well, they're rioting now.
So I guess the window for mindfulness
has officially closed.
- Different factory.
- Ah, right.
Well, in that case, it's been considered
at the highest levels and was found to be,
sadly, utterly unworkable.
But Tim also found it to be hysterical.
- Mm.
- You know how he is.
He loses faith in someone,
especially if he
- Thanks.
- Suspects disloyalty,
he can be quite cruel.
Unforgiving, even.
He forgave you for the massage therapist
on your corporate card.
We love science!
We love facts!
Now we need a place to run some laps!
Krypton, tungsten, molybdenum, and radium!
Help us finance our brand-new stadium!
Give! Give! Give!
- What?
- The boosters?
I know.
Why do we need the stadium again?
Do we have many, or any, athletes here?
- That's why we need a stadium.
- Yeah.
We need to start talking it up to parents
of any prospective kids who even look like
- they throw a ball.
- Exactly.
Beatrice, I wanted to ask you,
when you were at Harvard,
did you know Millicent Giblan?
What class were you in?
Jace's ex.
She used to tend bar at that place.
You know, behind the Coop.
Grendel's Den.
That's the one.
I'm afraid I don't know Millicent.
Parents and guardians
need to be making your way
- to your child's first period.
- Okay, good to see you.
Beatrice, it's always so hard to tell.
And you look so young.
What year were you at Harvard?
Lili, I never went to Harvard.
All my degrees are from
University of Wisconsin-Madison
my bachelor's, master's, and doctorate.
That's funny.
Wisconsin?
Good comp lit program.
Great Nepalese food.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Made it.
- Fine.
Um, hey, can you, um
Can you do Jamie's first period?
I have some trustee business.
A robust art market starts right here,
finding creators of future value,
cultivating the taste
of future collectors.
Sorry.
We're starting with bridges
because art is about connecting.
So find someone new
not your life partner
and, uh, let's build something together.
Uh, sir, there
someone was looking for you.
Everyone partnered up?
I saw those stinko
investments you were taking.
Same crime, but dumber.
Okay, you need to stop spying on me.
Whoa, listen.
Look, I know you don't want me
going through
your underwear drawer, right?
But let's be fair.
That's where you keep your underwear.
- Ew.
- Can I just tell you my news?
I got Bardolph.
I did.
He's investing.
And he's joining the board.
Yeah, after everything,
even if he left a scar.
I I'm impressed.
Thank you.
And, look, Duncan,
I can recommend a new therapist for you.
What?
I really don't think
you should be without one.
- You think I'm a lost cause.
- I don't.
I just think you are
a sucker for shortcuts.
What does that mean?
Look, I have a client.
She's got daddy issues as thorny as yours.
And she's had a string of toxic men,
all while holding down a big job.
Serves on boards.
Impressive, but miserable.
But then we did the work,
and she's turned things around.
And she is cutting
all of them out of her life.
She's even dating a woman now.
Ingrid?
Ingrid Talbert?
No.
All right, how's everyone doing?
Ingrid Talbert.
Let's liven things up and switch partners
like a square dance.
Hey, hey, hey.
You okay? Yeah?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Yeah?
Hey, mind if I jump in?
Odd man out.
Do you mind if we thrupple up?
Okay, let's just say it is Ingrid, right?
She's on the board of Smote.
And Orlando Lee is the CEO
the most toxic man to ever live.
I mean, he
he makes his employees
wear astronaut diapers
while they're coding.
So Orlando Lee is your
star patient's boss, right?
I mean, is she trying to cut him out?
No, and her name isn't Ingrid.
Sure, okay.
But she's collecting the votes,
boardroom coup, bye-bye, toxic man.
United we purge.
The stock is gonna soar.
The stock's not gonna soar.
Everybody hates this guy.
Yeah, well, I'm just saying
it's probably not gonna soar for long.
It'll bump for one virtuous minute.
- And then
- How are we doing over here?
Great. We're doing good.
You good?
This is fabulous.
Really inspiring stuff.
Toxic men succeed
because the fear they create produces
What?
What, what, what?
Loyalty.
Ingrid may have fixed her daddy issues.
The Valley has not.
No one can fill his shoes.
It's a loser option.
And for most, loyalty forbids even trying.
So power vacuum.
Monster returns, monster wins.
And then the stock will take off like
A thrust without mercy.
Oh, JoAnne.
Boy, I wish we had our session tomorrow.
You you are so good.
Like, I know you hate me,
maybe even wish me physical pain.
But I just have to say
I'm serious you are
an incredibly talented person.
If you were running the world, it
it would be a better place.
I know.
Yeah.
All right, show me what you got.
Yeah, no.
Buy it up.
I want 150,000 shares.
Smote.
Duncan.
You know, it kind of seemed
like you were having
a therapy session back there.
You really think that's appropriate?
Well, if you don't violate them,
how are you supposed to know
where your boundaries are?
But you're right.
Yeah, yeah.
No, tonight
tonight's about the children.
Yeah.
This one's pretty good.
Little Grace Clancy.
Sweet, right?
Let me ask you, Gary.
Do you think, uh, my empathy
makes me a better art lover?
I do have quite a collection.
Yeah, it's actually
an interesting question.
Like, does does one need
a developed sense of empathy
to appreciate great art?
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I would say yes, but
Anushka, I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
Sometimes I'm not good at saying things.
I am I am sorry.
Will you forgive me?
Say "woof."
What?
Wow, Mary Poppins is in a temper.
Not here.
What are you
Did you call her?
Uh, yeah.
No. Who? Sorry.
The bloody reporter, Nena Marx.
Ooh, I hate her.
I I hate her.
Did you read any of my texts?
I'm persona non grata at Cupertino.
They think I leaked the acquisition rumor.
They think I'm profiting!
You you're dead to me
unless you solve this.
Okay, okay, okay.
How can I help?
Just tell me.
Call Nena.
Put the rumors to bed.
She's got to print that
the talks between Cupertino
and Hypergnosis are over.
Stop it!
- What? What? What?
- Stop it!
Set the record straight.
On the record.
- Take your medicine.
- Okay.
If you'll be my spoonful of sugar.
Duncan, I am being 10,000% serious.
And I am 10,000% going
to call Nena Marx, okay?
Because in a few days,
Carl Bardolph is set
to invest $300 million in Hyper-G.
That serious enough for you?
You bagged Bardolph?
Oh, I bagged him.
I bagged him good.
And that's exactly what
I'm gonna tell Nena Marx.
- He's a giant.
- No.
And when Carl and I close, I swear
I will shout it to everyone.
And Big Tim will know
that you are true and loyal.
And you do a little vindication cha-cha
- on his desk.
- Stop it.
You know, flash a little ankle.
Stop it.
I would if I could.
I would if I could.
I
I just want you to know that I
I think you're a very talented person.
And if you were running the world,
no doubt it would be a better place.
Oh, we're doing this.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
Please proceed safely to the front door
- of the school.
- Duncan.
And have a safe journey home.
Oh, Lili.
Where you been?
The board business.
Come on.
We we need to leave now.
Yeah, I was at art.
- Okay, I did math stuff.
- Thank you so much.
What Duncan, please.
- Oh, my God, what the
- What are you doing?
- Duncan, what are
- Hey!
Hey, you, uh, can you open this?
- That's my that is mine.
- Please
- That is mine.
- We're good, Al. Thank you.
- Oh, my God, this is mine.
- What?
This is my cube.
That's my cube!
- What is wrong with you?
- Of course.
Jamison.
Jamison stole my cube.
That is
Oh, my
you said Thelma took it.
No, she swore up and down
that Thelma was innocent.
- Oh, God, Duncan.
- "Don't fire her, Daddy."
No, this oh, my God.
I don't know, Duncan.
But listen, I
we've gotta leave.
Are you insane?
Come on.
Write a check.
Let's go.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Yeah, may his, um
may his memory be a blessing.
Oh, why wouldn't it be a blessing?
Oh, no, no.
I wasn't suggesting otherwise.
It's it's
it's an expression.
It's a a Jewish
no oh, yep.
Oh, okay.
Bye-bye.
Um
Alvin died.
- Alvin the landlord?
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
- I know.
Such a sweet man.
Oh, no.
You know, I always felt
that he kept the rent down
because he knew that I was helping people.
And, you know, he really liked you.
He always he always said,
she's a dish.
Who owns our house now?
I guess his daughter, Beth.
She's I don't know,
she wasn't very pleasant.
I mean, she's a lawyer, so say no more.
Gary, she's gonna jack the rent
- Well
- Or sell.
Sell it out from under us.
And why not?
I mean, it's probably worth
You know, there might be a world
in which he left us the house.
7.5 million?
Oh, yeah. No.
He's not gonna leave us the house.
Oh, my God.
If only you would have bought it,
- or any house.
- What?
10 years ago. 15.
Wait, how was I supposed
to buy a house 15 years ago?
I was just getting started.
And then I got priced out.
And then I got divorced.
Remember?
I don't want to lose our home.
Our offices I mean, how are
we supposed to see our clients?
This is so unfair.
I mean, the only reason
that the real estate market is
sky-high is because
we keep these billionaire
man-children sane enough
to make that kind of money.
Okay, I'm gonna call Beth back.
No, you don't call, okay?
No, I will call.
Okay.
Carl.
Please. Hi.
First of all, I am so sorry
about missing our session.
That was
It's okay.
You're not charging me for it.
No, no. God, no.
No, it was a a family
And today's session, I mean,
I'll gladly pay for it.
But I don't think
I should have to, because
well, because, um, I'm firing you.
Carl, my son was in the hospital.
Is that what you do to therapists?
Is that the right word?
You fire them?
Yeah, okay.
I'm firing you, yeah.
Either way, I'm I'm done.
I always left here feeling a little bit
castrated.
And I need my balls, so
thank you.
Yeah, have a good
have a good day.
I Carl, wait.
We there are other options.
We could, um we could maybe
put a pause on your sessions.
Or some therapists do retainers
so that you could, uh, call me
if those anger issues arise.
Well, the problem is, is that the anger
is what made me the money.
But don't feel bad about it.
You did me a favor
when you stood me up like that.
The scales fell from my eyes.
I
I'm getting back
into the game, so thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Well, I'm proud of you.
I, uh what's the, uh
what's the endeavor?
Just because I would hate for you
to to be involved
straight out of the gate,
the therapy gate, in
in anything triggering.
I'll be fine.
Thanks.
Leave a message, or, better yet, text.
Beth, JoAnne Felder here.
Gary and I are heartbroken.
Your father, what an extraordinary man
Alvin.
You know, he and Gary developed
a funny kind of bond.
I won't say father/son, exactly,
but, um, maybe generous uncle,
peculiar nephew.
They had their lunches.
Gary always came home with a smile,
like a midlife love affair
platonic, obviously.
Uh uh, right, well,
I mean, you must be swamped.
It's it is a hell
of a process, grieving.
My couch is open to you, of course,
anytime, on the house.
Speaking of the house, uh,
I was calling to see if you
if you could, between estate lawyers
and funeral homes, squeeze in a chat
to discuss what you might be thinking, uh,
or what Alvin was thinking
if he mentioned us
and our situation
uh, not precarious.
I I won't say "precarious,"
precisely, but pre pre
Pre uh
I I can't seem
to finish my sentence.
Beth, we want to talk about the rent.
About, uh, keeping the rent where
where we could possibly
Press 3 to delete.
Message delivered.
Fuck!
Hi.
Who's that dude?
That's Sigmund Freud.
- Freud?
- Yeah.
Are you familiar with Freud?
Wasn't he, like, diddling his sister?
I think you're thinking of Dickens.
Oh, he was, like, the coke fiend, right?
- Uh
- Oh, no, it was his daughter.
No. No, no, no.
He wasn't diddling Anna.
Diddled with Anna's head, didn't he?
He analyzed her.
And it was, some feel, inappropriate.
Tell it to the cocaine, right?
Hello?
Hello?
Hey, are you, like, Gary Jr.?
You said you were gonna
give that cube back.
I mean, guess I'm not the only
klepto, you little bitch.
That was legendary.
Hello?
Coward.
Not now, JoAnne.
I am writing.
It's Orson.
Oh, yeah. Come in.
Orson, come in.
Hey. Oh.
Hey.
You okay?
Do should I get your mom?
Um, can you teach me how to use
the washing machine, please?
Yeah, sure, no problem.
Oh, what, now?
Uh
I know I messed up with the stool sample.
But, um
The antibiotics are just
they're not working,
and they're making it worse for me.
And I really just
I can't be like this right now.
Okay. Okay.
It is it's okay.
It's okay.
This is totally
this is natural.
Um you know,
I know this nutritionist.
I'm on a task force with her.
People swear by this woman.
I could call her.
Yeah?
Great.
Come on.
Well, good news.
SecVa felt bad about missing the barbecue.
Tom put the screws to her.
Well, I just pointed out
she wasn't helping
the vets any by not showing.
Mm-hmm.
So SecVa approved the transfer
of a dozen engineers who know
the MUMPS system, and
The what?
Sorry, what what system?
MUMPS system.
It stands for, uh, mobile
nobody fucking knows anymore.
It's been around longer than me.
And how long have you been at the VA?
No, no, no.
Me, Tom.
It's pre-moon landing.
They've put patches on top
of patches over the decades.
But, you know, that's that's
what we're trying to do here,
is cure ourselves of the MUMPS.
This is this is good news.
This is progress.
Yeah, the MUMPS, progress.
And how old are these engineers?
Well, we'd be pulling them
out of retirement,
so, I mean, they're a little older.
Guys! Guys.
Read the room.
30-year-olds retire here, okay?
This is not a nursing home.
- No walkers in my war room.
- Okay.
Okay, but this is the job
that we are paying you to do.
No, you're not paying me.
Did SecVa fast-track the money?
Or is she taking an old man dump on me?
I can't even sell the data product.
Data product?
What data product
are you planning on selling?
Oh, you thought your welfare checks
made this project worth my time?
The only play is to sell the vets' data
big pharma, insurers.
So you see people in need,
and you go to how to sell
their medical files.
Yes, it's called capitalism.
The government ought to try it.
Okay, if we have guardrails,
data sales, you know, might work.
No.
No.
This deal's dead.
You, Duncan Park,
you are the fucking problem.
Mm.
Sorry. Bardolph's smart.
He's gonna want to steer
the ship, but hard no.
- Okay? It's
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
He has a quick trigger.
I think this is worth salvaging, Duncan.
Maybe I talk to Tom about
meeting somewhere in the
Don't bother.
Don't bother.
Okay.
The engagement docs will be ironclad.
From a synergy POV, you want
a wall around his people.
Yes.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hi.
Do we really need to take a helicopter?
Pippa Tang wants to meet you.
Good news!
Mm?
Pippa's rescheduling for tomorrow.
Great. Let's go home.
What?
And miss a night in Napa?
But, Lili, my daughter
She's, what, 15?
She'll be fine.
Do she know how to work a microwave?
Don't fret.
Pippa will pony up, but she
likes to make us beg for it.
What does she get in return?
Her name on the stadium.
And she'll express her priorities
for the school, and
But what if I can't agree to them?
For $40 million?
Just lie back and shine brightly.
You don't have to like Pippa Tang.
I don't happen to.
Just think what we can do with 40 million.
I'm gonna book us a spa.
All these tests they put you through,
poking and prodding,
just makes you feel
like a freak for having
a natural human body.
I mean, hello, we're all
just factories for shit.
And blood.
And pus.
And milk sometimes.
I mean, it's what we do.
We ooze.
We secrete.
And they'll never take that away from us.
- He's all set.
- Okay.
I've got a custom tincture just for you.
It is my proprietary blend.
It will adapt itself to shake up
your whole microflora economy.
Mm, interesting.
What uh, what's in there?
- Well, it's proprietary.
- Mm.
But mostly Chinese herbs,
holistic reductions,
compounds to reduce inflammation.
So that's gonna fix my shit factory?
- Orson
- You bet.
Here you go.
20 drops to start,
and then three drops three times a day.
- Okay.
- Three and three.
Great, great.
What's the damage on everything?
The damage?
Cool, yeah. Sorry.
Uh, well, of course I will apply
the medical colleagues discount.
That's thank you so much.
That's great.
And the consultation fee, it's included
with the proprietary prescriptions.
- Uh-huh.
- The total, then, is $1,962.
Oh, I didn't
can you
maybe don't take yeah.
- Okay, uh
- It's activated.
Right.
It already
and how much of this will insurance cover?
Ugh, of course insurance companies,
they only cover phallocentric,
Western-normative treatments.
Okay.
Take credit cards?
- Let me grab the machine.
- Great.
We're not gonna tell your mom about this.
Yeah?
Lili, this is
it's all too much.
"Too much,"
that's my "not enough."
No.
You know, I don't come
from great wealth either.
But I practice radical acceptance.
And now being rich is second nature.
Yeah, it's possible to adjust
to any identity, really.
Wouldn't you agree?
I'm just rolling with whatever comes.
Yeah, I like that.
Like in Aspen, right?
At the education thingy.
I was so excited to find
the perfect leader for Las Altas.
Walked up, made you the offer
right on the spot.
When'd you realize
I meant to make the offer
to Pamela Douglas?
Do you mean,
when did I realize you mixed up
the only two Black women at the summit?
- If I did
- 30 seconds.
You knowingly infiltrated or suborned
a wool-pulling antic.
And you can't tell Black women apart.
I had been drinking.
And I think with the altitude and
You offered it to me.
I signed my own name on the contract
and never once lied.
- We're being honest?
- Mm-hmm.
My daughter is brilliant,
really brilliant,
and deserves to go to Stanford.
Las Altas is the best feeder school, so
Good for you.
Still, this is not
a great look for either of us.
Not arguing that.
But I do need to know, if someone asks
I'm not gonna lie.
You stood there in my backyard
as I introduced a Harvard graduate.
You said nothing.
Just keep saying nothing
or this all falls apart
for you, for Harmony.
There's nothing I can do to help.
Then we take it to our graves.
Fine.
You first.
Here's the phone number.
And name?
Jamison Esme Park.
- Your daughter?
- Yeah.
She'll never forgive you.
Well, she's not gonna find out.
Why can't you just
Why can't I get one of those
Pakistani CTOs
with that H1N1 visa?
Because, like, when they whine,
I could send them back to Bangor.
Bangalore. India.
And H1N1 is the bird flu.
Looks like she used
to torrent "Sailor Moon."
No, I I don't want to know
about sex stuff, okay?
Just tell me
tell me if she's stealing.
Pirating is stealing.
Yeah, it is.
Oh, Jim Jam.
- Hey, get out!
- I'm sorry.
Carl Bardolph is early.
- Park.
- Hey. Um
Whoa, this where you keep
all the good stuff?
Yeah, I wasn't expecting you till, um
Well, I could pretend
that I messed up the time,
but I did, in fact, want to
catch you with your pants down.
Sorry to disappoint you.
Um, but, yeah, please sit.
Stay.
Make yourself comfortable.
Um, we had a whole
whole thing prepared
Who's the chickadee?
Oh, uh, Harper, how about, uh, we show
Mr. Bardolph the power
of Gnodin?
We triangulated this guy's metadata
from multiple data lakes.
Sending him a coffee coupon
now.
72% chance.
Please tell me
there's something besides this.
72% means there's a
There's a 100% chance that
this does not work for me.
This is just baseline tech.
There's there's there's more.
So much more.
- Hm.
- Stuff that no one else has.
Prepare to have your mind blown.
You have two minutes.
Stan stays as long as you can
vouch for his secrecy.
I cut his tongue out.
Get on with it, please.
You two are about to be
the third and fourth people
on Earth to see what we can do here.
Orlando Lee, CEO of Smote.
You've heard of him.
Of course you have.
After running billions
of Monte Carlo simulations,
predicted by our God-tier algo
we call "Gnodin"
what was it, Harper,
the percentage of certainty?
- 32.
- No, of certainty.
- Wasn't it 89?
- Yes, it was 89.
Yeah, I'm certain this is
a giant waste of my time.
Stan?
Oh, yeah, he doesn't have a tongue.
I will speak for him.
What the fuck are you doing?
89% certainty Lee is pushed out of Smote
in the next 48 hours.
Come on, how did you get that?
We are perched on the shoulders
of everyone in his sphere
all-seeing.
We know which execs just got
a prescription to benzos,
who canceled their trip to Biarritz,
who's buying tampons,
their their spouse's
data stream,
their kids' test scores,
the doorman's bank account.
Okay, so you you grab
a bunch of loose facts,
and you slap on a narrative.
And this is what you call information?
Information with insight,
like if you fused a quant
with a psychiatrist.
Because if I'm right, Lee is fired,
leading to a 94% chance
that the stock rises,
but only briefly, because who wants to be
the sacrificial suit?
So power vacuum.
Stock falls.
And what have we got on that, Harper?
Uh, 79%?
Uh, not quite
77.9.
Ah, let's just call it 78.
78%. Code monkeys, you know?
Then Gnodin's psycho-economics
Psycho-economics.
- Yes.
- Psycho okay.
It tells us toxic loyalty
will lead to an 84% chance
that he's rehired, leading to a 97% chance
that stock skyrockets from that news.
You ride that whole wave, Carl,
with shorts and buys,
and you get to take, like,
four bites out of that apple.
Your algorithm says all that?
I bought 150,000 shares
of Smote last night.
Okay, we'll be in touch.
Thank you for the tarot reading.
You're leaving?
Uh, yeah.
Probably should have mentioned
that Carl was Orlando's mentor.
But then you probably already know that.
You are the fucking data guy, right?
I thought that guy couldn't talk.
If any of that had any validity
Trust me, it does.
I swear.
If he goes and warns Orlando,
he's gonna rewrite the future.
And then
Someone's fucking their own mother.
And I think it's me.
Mmm, that was divine.
Do we get dessert?
Chocolate gateau?
Ah, yes.
No, I can't.
I'm sorry. No.
When I was Jamie's age,
I used to eat a whole box of penne
with Alfredo sauce so thick
you could spackle a wall.
Sometimes I didn't even hurl.
Do not tell Jamie that.
She already thinks I've got food issues.
I don't always relate to my own daughter.
Is that awful to say?
No.
- She's a teenager.
- Yeah.
Duncan says she's stealing from us.
- Aw.
- Yeah.
Like, she puts
hey, thank you.
Thanks.
Yeah, she, like, puts her little trophies
in the school trophy case.
Is she the one who smashed it?
No.
No, no, no.
No, that was Duncan.
And he's paying for the repairs
with interest.
Is he
Violent at home?
No.
I wish.
Tell me about the perfect Harmony's daddy.
- Where is he?
- He was just a friend of ours.
Yeah, he agreed to, you know, cough up.
It was my egg. Darcy carried.
Oh, I didn't have you down
as a lady's lady.
So dónde está Mrs. Darcy?
LA.
Actress.
Yeah.
She ran off with another Darcy,
and that was almost worse
than the betrayal.
Oh, lady, I've been there.
Mm?
Keep thinking I'm over it, and then
oh, you probably met her at the luncheon.
Anushka Bhattachera.
She's awful.
I made such a great hire.
Come on, grab the bottle.
Come on.
Did you see my pottery work?
The giant bong?
Yeah, may
You didn't do a bong, Tess.
You made a bowl.
Lilac glaze.
Very tasteful too.
Remember, Martin?
Yes.
Uh, lilac. Very nice.
Dad, eyes on me.
What was my history project on?
Yeah, one sec.
Estimating how many people could fit
in the Roman Colosseum.
I asked him.
It's a wonder you saw any of that,
given how you were with Duncan Park
for a while.
What were you two up to?
I'm on his board.
The company isn't doing great.
Neither is he.
I was trying to stop a public meltdown
in the midst of 500 of the Valley's
most influential parents.
Are you insinuating something?
No.
That explains it.
Good fight, boys!
Did you track me, you piece of shit?
You cannot do this.
You cannot
Do what?
You you're gonna warn
Orlando over there,
your protégé.
Oh, did your all-knowing algo
predict what I'm gonna do?
Huh? Did it?
- Did it?
- Yeah.
That's free will!
You have no idea what this is about to do.
I live in the error margin, pal.
You didn't say anything to him yet?
Yeah, I said "howdy"
and and, "Where's the keg?"
If you tell him what I told you,
we will never know if I was right or not.
It's it's Schroeder's cat.
It's Schroedinger, you dunce.
Don't call me a dunce.
Then don't be a dunce.
If you really thought I was one,
you wouldn't be here.
Actually, being here, it proves to me
You believe in my algo.
And maybe maybe
Jesus.
Ow!
Maybe it scares you.
My hot potato's too hot
in your soft, tattletale hands.
Yeah, this how you used to do business?
This is why you vanished
from the scene, Carl?
Huh?
I show you tech that will revolutionize
how we predict behavior, and you
you run to the playground
and you tell your boyfriend?
Control, Alt, Delete!
I have jumped through every hoop
you put in front of me
because I'm a fighter, you know?
You don't think I'm a fighter?
Oh, baby
You made your point.
You've made your point.
Oh, good.
Thank you for hearing me.
Hey.
I love this guy.
This dude used to drop dudes
twice his size and half his age.
Who's this dude?
Orlando Lee, I'd like you to meet someone.
This is Duncan Park.
- He's a fighter.
- Oh, no way, dude!
- Hey, all right.
- Yeah.
You want to do it?
No, no, I he wasn't
he didn't mean it that way.
So not a fighter?
So your manhood is a metaphor?
We got our next fight!
He's got
I didn't get a weapon.
Yeah, no. Okay. Okay.
Oh!
Ah, man!
Oh!
I thought we said not the face!
Control, Alt, Escape!
Control, Alt, Escape!
That's not the safe word, cuck!
What?
No, no, no, no, no.
This is why we do it!
- Yah!
- Oh!
- Yah!
- Oh!
Control, Alt, Delete!
He said "Control, Alt, Delete," asshole!
Let him go!
I wanted to show you something.
Mm-hmm.
What is that?
The surface of the moon?
It's my home in Napa.
It burned down.
Oh, my God.
Oh, you know who our neighbor was
and whose house is fine?
Pippa fucking Tang.
Our donor?
So when the fires were raging,
Pippa bribed our private
firefighters double
to protect her house instead.
Wow.
You know the only thing that's left?
Is that a bench?
A marble bench.
In our former garden.
Duncan asked me to marry him there.
He doesn't even care.
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
No, I'm so sorry.
I married a terrible actress
from a hemorrhoid commercial
who is also a whore.
Give me her number.
Her number?
Yeah, so Dunky gave me this app.
It hides your number and your voice.
It makes you sound like
that Darth Vader guy.
Okay.
- Her name is Darcy.
- Darcy
Yeah.
You're a little slut.
- And so is the Darcy
- Darcy. Darcy.
Other Darcy, you hemorrhoid, dumb-dumb,
stupid girl, dummy.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, I just peed myself!
I urinated!
Whoo!
Crisscross.
Hello?
We know what you did.
The betrayal.
What would Cupertino think
of you and Duncan
if they knew?
Oh, my God!
Are you feeling overwhelmed?
Try to remember your life
has value, "Anus Hooka."
Shut up!
Just close your stupid gob!
When you carry shame around,
you make people around you unhappy.
You seem riddled with anxiety
and guilt, "Anus Hooka."
Try breathing and counting
backwards from ten.
Ten, nine, eight
Hello, Nena.
Sorry if it's late.
I'm calling to set the record
straight on Hypergnosis.
Deep background.
You can say a source close to Cupertino.
The acquisition talks failed.
But then Alvin turns to me,
and he says, Gary,
what the hell happened
to our neighborhood?
Since when did giving a damn
about your neighbors
- become a four-letter word?
- Aw.
They don't make 'em like that anymore.
- No, they don't.
- Hi.
Oh, my God.
Beth, hi.
I didn't know you were coming by.
I would have I oh.
I-I-I am so, so sorry about your dad.
Oh, I'm so sorry to barge in like this.
No, please.
Oh, this is Irvin.
Hi.
- Great to meet you.
- You too.
Beth uh,
Beth has told me how much
her dad adored you both.
And he was always
speaking of you so warmly.
- Mm.
- I know he really admired
how you two both do good work.
And you you don't expect
to make as much
as everyone else here does.
Mm.
I always wished I could be
more like him, but I just
I I hate to say it
I always tell her,
it's okay to care about money.
And and you are the, um
the brother or the husband?
Irvin's handling the sale.
- We're gonna list at 8.
- Mm.
Probably would sell
closer to 8.4.
But we wanted to propose,
if you could pay all cash,
we'd give it to you at listing.
Wow.
Thank you.
We'll get Pippa at the winter gala.
It'll be fine.
But you can't tell the board.
What am I supposed to say?
Tell them food poisoning.
The chopper crashed.
So another lie?
I think you'll manage, Beatrice.
I feel pretty sure of it.
From the student
who knows ♪
That to have one of those ♪
Would be suicide ♪
And everybody sings ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da
- Yeah ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da,
ba, ba, ba, da ♪
- Uh, huh
- Ba, ba, ba, da ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da
- All right
Ba, ba, ba, da,
ba, ba, ba, da ♪
We're going where ♪
The air is free ♪
On the National Express
There's a jolly hostess ♪
Selling crisps and tea ♪
But it's hard to get by
When your arse is the size ♪
Of a small country
And everybody sings ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da,
ba, ba, ba, da ♪
Yeah
- Ba, ba, ba, da
Ba, ba, ba, da
- Uh, huh ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da,
ba, ba, ba, da ♪
- All right
- Ba, ba, ba, da ♪
Ba, ba, ba, da ♪
We're going where ♪
The air is free ♪
What do you think about one seat for me
and one for my number two here?
You let him call you that?
What's that on your forehead, buddy?
Forget money.
Where do you want to be?
Societal collapse is upon us,
and sooner than you think.
I miss you, man.
If you don't have the bone mass.
What the hell are you watching?
You did this?
You stabbed me in the back
Oh!
of my heart?
In episode 104, you will see
the Tech Bro Fight Club,
which is in fact a real thing.
This is Duncan Park.
He's a fighter.
He didn't mean it that way.
So your manhood is a metaphor?
We got our next fight.
It's tech bros wanting to feel
the realness of physical combat.
Oh!
And all the things
that are just metaphorical
during their daytime activity,
where they are being told to fight,
to have that kind of war like
Sun Tzu aggression in their business life.
I think there's just a lot of like,
especially nowadays,
what is it to be a man?
And I guess that answers their
question for them sometimes.
Oh. Fuck.
I thought okay,
no, no background. No.
Well, here they're going to do it in
a back warehouse to get their ya-ya's out
and to feel what that
masculine warrior energy is.
Just been kicked in the balls.
Three, two Action!
Oh!
I couldn't resist not having that be part
of the fabric of our Silicon Valley.
I show you tech that will revolutionize
how we predict behavior,
and you run to the playground
to tell your boyfriend?
The thing that Duncan can say
legitimately to Bardolph is,
"I've jumped through every hoop
you've put in front of me."
And he puts another one in front of him.
He succeeds in a way
that's emotionally very real.
When he's strangling
Orlando Lee at the end
with his eyes fixed on Bardolph,
it is a way of saying,
"I am a fucking warrior
and not to be taken lightly."
He said control is to
Lee, asshole! Let him go!
I think that's what Bardolph sees in him.
He does not give up.
Now they're ready to go to the next phase
of their relationship.
When did you realize
I meant to make the offer
to Pamela Douglas?
When did I realize you mixed up
the only two black women at the summit?
- If I did.
- 30 seconds.
In episode four, there's more
than just Fight Club.
There's also the fight
between Lily and Beatrice.
It's almost like they have
a summit meeting at the spa
where all of these truths come out.
And we take it to our graves.
Fine.
You first.
It's a fun dance between the
two of them, literally in mud.
And then it's almost like this,
we have a lot more in common
series of scenes that follow.
Almost a friendship is emerging
between the two of them.
So Duncy gave me this app.
It hides your number and your voice.
Hello.
We know what you did.
What would Cupertino think
of you and Duncan if they knew?
Oh, my God!
Are you feeling overwhelmed?
Try to remember your life has
value, Anus huka.
Shut up!
Anushka takes that Easter Island head,
which symbolizes ancient beliefs,
and smashes this new technology.
That's the sort of collision
point that I kind of adore,
that idea that the AI bot
has provoked her to violence.
And when we get to episode five,
we'll see what the consequences
of that violence are.
I'm calling to set the record
straight on Hypergnosis.
The acquisition talks failed.