The Chair Company (2025) s01e04 Episode Script

Yeah. Yeah.
It's all a bit, you know, real funny,
but it's a huge headache, you know?
So, I just tracked down my old landlord
'cause the new bank
flagged my check or whatever.
- Oh, they did that?
- Yeah, yeah!
I don't know what that was all about.
But, you know, I just probably
have to fill out some paperwork.
You know, it's kind of
monotonous, they have to go
Oh, my God.
- I hope they don't see me looking.
- Here. Let's go. Let's go.
Just don't look. Just don't look at him.
Don't look at him.
- He bored you?
- Oh, my God.
Oh, Ron, he was so excited to meet you.
Well, that makes me feel bad.
No. Mm-mm.
Ah, yeah, he's boring as hell.
Well. Oh, God.
Did you have fun, at least?
You know what, sometimes
I just feel like it's time for a change.
I like the work, I really do.
It's just that the people are killing me.
I'm just like, "Do it my way."
Well, it sounds like you just
don't like having a boss.
Yeah, I mean, maybe I don't.
You should be your own boss anyway.
You're amazing.
- Thank you, honey.
- Yeah.
I have actually been thinking about it.
I mean, really thinking about it.
I mean, it's not fully fleshed out yet,
but, you know,
when I had Seth and Natalie,
I would be in meetings
and I would be trying to pump.
And there was never anything on the market
that was kind of like a, you know,
a portable, stylish breast pump.
And I thought to myself,
why can't I do that?
Why can't I be the person
to bring that to market?
And I reached out
to a couple of my friends
who went to business school,
you know, just to see how hard
it would actually be.
And it turns out, it's really doable.
What the hell?
You've been thinking about this?
Well, yeah!
I just feel like if we're gonna
make a change,
if I'm gonna try to do something,
this is the time, you know?
You gotta blow it up and start over.
I mean, I feel like I could do it.
- Yeah. Yes.
- Yeah, right?
Let's start over.
- What?
- Let's quit our jobs.
- Well, you too?
- Yeah, we'll both do it.
I actually had an idea myself
that I've been thinking about
for quite a long time.
What is it?
Barb, it's something that I honestly think
could help people,
and I think it'd be fun.
- Okay!
- I mean, my dad helped people
every day of his life.
I'm not helping anybody at Fisher Robay.
- Alright, you're drunk.
- Yeah, I'm drunk.
Who gives a shit?
And honestly, we should show the kids
that you don't have to settle.
- Right.
- You can do something you love.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yes!
Wait.
Are we doing this?
Yeah.
Oh, my God!
He goes faster, too.
How the fuck is he going so fast?
Yeah. We should have never have sent
that fucking voicemail to Tecca.
Look, I'll stay out here.
I'll watch the house for the night.
It'll be okay.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alright, alright, alright.
Thank you. Thank you.
Ron?
Oh.
- Yeah?
- Oh! Hey.
- Hey! Whoa!
- Hey.
- Mm-hmm.
Scared the crap out of me.
God, I just had this investor meeting,
and it just could not have gone worse.
I was nervous, and then George
started drinking too much
and got all tongue-tied.
It was so bad.
Ah, I'm so sorry,
those things can be just pure hell.
Do you remember Susan Asso?
So, she created this thing.
She's only been at it for a couple years,
and she has an angel investor
just like that.
They're selling in Brookstone.
- What's it do?
- So, you put it
on your eyelids like this,
and then it gently
presses down and it vibrates
I guess it creates
those, like, little lasers and squares,
and calms you down.
Sucks.
That's really bizarre.
- Hello?
- Mike, this is bizarre,
but I think they might be
putting something in the chairs.
Like they're hiding something in it?
I don't know.
I don't know.
What are you listening to?
Pornos. Is that okay?
You're watching pornos
outside of my house?
I'm just listening to it.
I'll turn it off.
I think I need to get one
of these chairs and rip it apart.
What the hell?
Oh, I'm in a whole new website now.
- Mike.
- Windows keep popping up.
Fuck! Fuck! God damn it! Fuckin' thing.
I at least gotta update it.
Just stay out there.
That's really bizarre.
Hello.
I'm here for the boys.
I'm gonna wrap them in towels.
Excuse me?
The 1965 Fab Four figure collection
you're selling, remember?
I'm getting it for higher than I want,
and the paint's off Ringo's nose,
and you don't care at all.
I don't know what you're talking about.
The Fab Four 1965 figure collection
that you're selling
for way higher than I'd like,
and you're not knocking anything off,
even though Ringo's nose is gray.
I really think you have the wrong address.
This is the address listed on eBay.
I'm not selling anything.
- Then why did you list it?
- I didn't!
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I can't believe you're doing this.
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit!
Okay, alright. Sorry for the mix-up.
- Have a nice day.
- How?
- Who was that?
- I don't know, some guy
who thought I was selling
something on eBay.
Oh, okay.
He's still out there.
- Can you go?
- No, I can't.
Do you not see me crying?
I need time to cool down.
Do you want me to go crazy
on your fuckin' lawn?
Asshole.
Okay, let's move on to Canton.
Alon, you have an update?
Yes, and a fun one.
We have received an overwhelmingly
positive response
to our Jim Brown sculpture idea.
- Where's Douglas?
- He didn't show up today.
I tried calling him, but no one picked up.
Douglas Ashley.
He's probably just embarrassed
from his mistakes party.
You can't just not come in
'cause you're embarrassed.
money makes the world go round, right?
Thank you, Alon.
And just so you all know,
Jeff has got a little treat
coming for everyone tomorrow
'cause you all rock.
I'm not quite sure what's happening.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize
we had a meeting today.
Oh, no. I want to introduce you
- to Dr. Stevens.
- Dr. Stevens.
He's coming from Loebleene HR Consultants
as an outside observer.
Very excited.
This is a very exciting case.
He's gonna observe you and Amanda
in a casual setting
to make sure there's nothing of concern.
What the hell?
What does this have to do
with the chair breaking?
We saw a picture of you
in your high school yearbook
with your arm around Amanda,
and we're concerned
because you told us
you didn't hang out in high school.
I didn't hang out with her
kind of a loser.
social suicide.
Her mom worked
in the basement of the school.
- In the basement?
- Yeah, she used to come out
of this little door
in the hallway all dirty
to give Amanda her lunch.
She worked with the pipes or something.
Hey, Ron, you have a phone call.
I'm in a meeting.
I think you should take this.
- Hello?
- Mr. Trosper,
this is the worst part of my job.
We can't represent you.
- Excuse me?
- You didn't make the cut.
Your face is just a bit too extreme.
- Who is this?
- This is Malt
from Vendrome Faces Modeling Management.
You submitted to be one of our models.
I did not submit to be a model.
I don't know what this is.
You did submit to be a model.
I didn't, I don't want to be a model.
I know I'm not a model.
Do me a favor.
Don't ever contact me
or this office in your life.
Hey, Ron.
Sorry to bother you.
You have any idea
what this treat's gonna be from Jeff?
You think it's gonna be like a dessert
I don't know.
Okay. I'm just really worried.
Arm around her? That's curtain call.
She played a beggar.
It's not like she was Merelda.
It'd be crazy if I was Quasimodo
and I forgot she played Merelda.
Hey! Oh, dear, what's happening?
Why do we have so much
goddamn junk in this house?
I need you out of my office, honey,
'cause I gotta work on my deck.
- Another investor?
Hopefully. Yes.
There's this very neat woman.
She's really interested.
as a badass mama bear.
Oh, my God.
And I thought, I gotta,
you know, hook that.
- We'll see.
- It's cool.
- Congratulations, that's super cool.
- Thank you. Oh!
On Saturday, she asked me
if we would join her for dinner.
I'm super busy right now,
so just don't count on me.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
We'll see what happens.
We'll see how it all pans out.
Yeah, we'll try.
as padding for the breast,
but then also something that
you can pop in the dishwasher.
You know, it's something that
really can kind of be versatile.
So, let's talk tomorrow about it.
Okay. Thanks again. Alright, bye.
How did it go with the investor?
I couldn't get him to smile.
What?
waiting for him to smile.
I was showing him everything,
all the trails,
and wasn't impressed.
So, I decided to go a little faster.
You know, I thought if he felt
the breeze hit his face,
he'd definitely smile.
He didn't.
So, I went a lot faster.
Then, I saw this log
that I knew I could get over.
And what happened?
Couldn't get over it.
He flew into the windshield.
- What?
- He didn't go through it,
but his head hit it straight on.
And just like, shot back into his seat,
wasn't talking.
Then, he started rubbing his hands
going, "I don't know, I don't know,
I don't know, I don't know,
- I don't know, I don't know."
- Ron, where is he right now?
I took him back to the hotel.
He said he just wanted to
get a little bit of sleep.
Oh, my God.
He just didn't get
what I was trying to do.
He kept talking about bringing LED screens
to show videos of old dinosaurs.
- No, it's not!
That's not what I'm trying to do.
It's all about trying to be in the moment.
It's therapy for soldiers,
so they can get used to peace time.
So, you know,
they can still live on the edge,
but it's not all as dangerous as war.
I gotta go talk to Arturo.
He just sent me some new plans.
He's got no idea what I'm going for.
He doesn't get it at all.
Okay, and how much will that cost?
It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter. This has to work.
We have to show the kids
that you can chase your dreams.
- Yeah.
- This has to work.
I'm not going back to Fisher Robay.
Ever.
I'd rather die.
I'd rather kill myself.
Andrew Bohlo at Canton Natural Defense
is really worried about
the effects of the blasting
on the local wildlife.
I'll handle it. We have a way
to mitigate these things.
- Oh, hold on for one sec.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- Hello?
- Hi, this is Carol
at Superstars Etc. Modeling Agency.
Hope you're having a good day today,
Mr. Trosper.
We just wanted to give you a call
and let you know
that you didn't get it,
but we're really close
- to the Inside Battery insert ad.
- What?
They liked you,
but they went with Bahld Harmon.
He's just done more.
What the hell are you talking about?
Who's Bahld Harmon?
Bahld Harmon! Legendary plump-sized model.
Who is saying I want to be a model?
Mr. Trosper, you've emailed us
and sent us many headshots,
so we threw you on the pile
and you got close.
- That's great.
- I never emailed.
What was the email address you got?
That's not me. That's not my email.
Someone is talking as me.
What the hell is happening here?
- I don't know, sir.
- There's somebody making people at work
thinking I'm trying to be a model,
making me look crazy!
Fuckers!
Ron?
Dr. Stevens.
What are you doing?
calling my mom. Relaxing.
Why are you in my temporary office?
Why you ain't got nothin' in here?
Well, that's why I got this.
Can you please help me get one
of our office chairs out of the building?
Can't you just wheel it out?
I can't be seen wheeling it out.
Just get it in my car.
It's a gray Chevy Impala
with a Dublin Jerome High
bumper sticker on it.
Thank you.
What the heck? That guy beat me?
Why do I even care?
Hey, gang. Happy Thursday!
For the next hour,
there is a beignet truck
in the parking lot.
Is it Ralph's or Miss Maddy's?
Oh, Louis. Huh?
Miss Maddy's, of course!
It's a shame that Douglas isn't here.
He loves New Orleans.
Douglas didn't come in again today?
No.
Louis, you live right by him, right?
- Yeah, I do.
- Yeah.
Maybe you should take him over a beignet,
you know, try to get him out of his funk.
Okay, I'll bring two.
One I'll bring for him,
and the other one,
I'll eat on the way in the car.
- Sure.
- So glad I didn't have a sweet for lunch.
I thought the treat was maybe gonna be
like a pocket game
or a piece of artwork.
Something told me it was gonna be a sweet.
Ron!
- You gotta have Miss Maddy's.
- No, I am! I am!
I've gotta see you eat one of these.
see me stuff it in my fat face.
Okay.
Alright.
We should have never have sent that
fucking voicemail to Tecca.
Where's Douglas?
This is the address listed on eBay.
You submitted to be one of our models.
You emailed us and sent us many headshots.
What the hell?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What the fuck is going on here?!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, what is happening here?
- You need to step back.
- What is happening? This is my house!
- Sir! Sir!
- This is my house.
- That's my family in there!
- Hey!
That's my family in there!
- Are you Ron Trosper?
- Yes! This is my house!
Did you say you were donating
a big green egg to the station?
Tecca donated my big green egg
to the police station.
- What?
- Where the hell were you?
I thought I was walking into a bloodbath.
Look, I saw the cops,
so I took off, I'm sorry.
I thought I was gonna see Barb's throat
ripped across the counter.
- Oh, you gotta calm down, pal.
- God damn it.
I don't know what Tecca's gonna do next.
I gotta get my family outta here.
- I don't know what to do.
- Look, I got a way
I can get your family out
without them knowing.
I'd have to call in a favor from a friend.
He's a really bad guy, but I can do it.
Yeah, do it.
What? Ron, where are we going?
We're infested.
- What?
- Yeah, it's a nightmare.
Your husband found some bugs.
We're gonna have to spray here ASAP.
I found this one in your underwear drawer.
It was all tangled up
in your tiniest little pair of panties.
I might have to be here a couple days.
Okay, well, let me go pack,
No, no, I already packed for you.
I got everything for you.
- Seth, let's go!
Anyway, so we gotta go to the hotel,
and I'm gonna have to work from
a little business center
or something there for a few days.
I don't know how long.
You guys should just stay here.
Tara has a huge guest room.
It's really nice.
Your parents are staying here?
But it's sex night.
Just kidding. I'd love to have you.
Oh, wow.
yes, honey, I would love that.
That sounds so great.
That's so thoughtful.
Yay! See you soon.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Oh, my God!
- I know.
- Barb, stay at Tara's?
Ron, we have to try to like Tara.
I think Tara's cool.
- Seth!
- Sorry.
Seth, you're on the couch.
- No whacking it. Not even edging.
- Yeah.
And you guys are in the burger room.
- Sorry about this. Sorry.
- No, no. Oh, no worries at all.
I like to sleep in here
when my knee's bothering me.
- Oh, is that right?
- Yeah, it is right now, but that's fine.
I'm always saying to Natalie,
we have too much junk in here,
in this room.
- Well, it's her stuff.
- Yeah.
Oh, God. Yeah, don't look at that.
It's the new Wendy's burger.
- Oh!
- It's the almond pimento burger.
Yeah, it does not photograph well.
Stinks.
Well, doesn't stink.
It just smells like burger.
That's good.
Poor Seth.
Incredible.
Thank you, Doris.
You have to tell us the story again.
- Tell us.
- Again?
- From the top.
Hey, what's going on?
- Louis is a hero.
- What?
He saved Douglas' life.
He found him on the floor of his kitchen.
His refrigerator had fallen on top of him,
and he'd been under there for two days.
Oh, my God.
He even gave him a bath
- before the paramedics got there.
- So sweet.
Pretty cool, huh?
Louis and Douglas. Crazy.
Ron, I wanna talk to you
about that email you sent me.
The email from your
personal email account.
- I know how hard you work.
But it's just not appropriate
to be asking for a raise
right now so aggressively.
- It just felt greedy, Ron.
We all like getting paid money.
But we don't say that.
We don't say we love getting paid money.
I know that. I'm sorry.
I stole that fucker for you.
This way, you can see
if something is in it.
Hell is everybody? Hey!
- Hey.
- Smelling good in here.
- Really?
- Yeah, it's smelling really good.
Oh. Tara makes me
add olives to everything.
I think they're disgusting,
but she says everything
is bland without them, so.
You happy with Tara?
What?
Dad, I'm marrying her.
I know that, I know that,
but are you happy?
I saw her take your art supplies
and just throw 'em in the closet.
And you used to love art,
it was your dream.
It was just a hobby, Dad.
- I'm happy.
- It doesn't have to be art.
I just feel like
you should find your own thing
that you're passionate about,
and, you know, and just
do everything you can to do it, you know?
Dad, stop! You're stressing me out.
I just don't want you to be
brought along with Tara,
just supporting her.
You do that for Mom, and you're happy.
- What?
- I admire that.
I really admire how
you're able to take a back seat
to Mom and support her right now.
Natalie.
I'm not doing that.
Oh. You're not?
No. I'm not taking a back seat to anybody.
I'm doing something
that's beyond what anybody
could ever dream of.
I'm uncovering a vast criminal conspiracy.
What are you talking about, Dad?
I'm not joking, I'm serious.
I'm dead serious.
might be being used
as a front to smuggle opioids
into the country by a major
pharmaceutical company.
- How do you know that?
- This morning, Natalie,
I took apart one of the chairs.
I went through every part of it.
I ripped it to shreds,
and I found something.
There's a part missing.
Ever since 1972, most chairs
have a horizontal hydraulic lever
at the base of the chair.
And this article I found about it
says that this chair part
is called the chair appendix.
Well, the Tecca chair that I took apart
has a hole for the chair appendix,
but there's no appendix in there.
That means it's coming
into the factory with the part
and then somebody's taking it out.
- Why?
- Well, the chair parts
that are in the Tecca chair,
they're made in Hungary.
And that's weird for chair parts.
Most chair parts come
from other places in the world.
But Hungary is famous for one thing.
They're the biggest producers of thebaine,
which they make OxyContin
and Oxycodone from.
And thebaine can be like
a little poppy brush,
like a little stick which could fit
in the chair appendix
if the chair appendix is hollow.
And the CFO
of the parent company of Tecca,
this guy right here, Ken Tucker,
he's on the board
of several other businesses.
One of 'em is Brucell Pharma.
I think they're smuggling
thebaine in through the damn chairs
to get around the FDA and customs.
No regulations.
Chairs are everywhere. They're invisible.
They're nothing. Nobody thinks about 'em.
It's perfect for an oxy-thebaine stick,
a poppy brush, perfect!
Wow.
- Can I see your phone?
- Yeah, absolutely.
It's a little wet. I've been squeezing it.
Oh.
Holy shit, Dad, that's so smart.
How did you figure this out?
Just figured it out 'cause I saw that.
- Have you told Mom?
- Not yet.
I've only told you so far.
I don't wanna worry her.
It just seems really intense, Dad.
Yeah, it could be huge.
I love you, I trust you, and I got you.
Oh, I mean, I love you,
I trust you, and I got you.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, my God! What the hell
are you doing to me?
Don't say that shit. I love you so much.
- I love you, too.
- Alright, now I gotta go
- to be a hero to Mom.
- Mm.
- Bye, Natalie.
- Bye.
What part were you?
'Cause you were looking at me.
I was looking at you when you were telling
- that story about Seth.
- About Seth.
- And I thought she was gonna cry.
- Well, you know,
I really felt like I was gonna cry
- because I was really feeling it.
- Excuse me.
Yeah, because you knew
what you were doing.
- You knew exactly
- what you were doing.
- You know what, I did.
Ron, this is Steven. I found him.
I got Ken Tucker right here!
Honey, I'm so sorry, I have to go.
- There's a work thing.
- Okay. You okay?
Yeah, everything's good.
Everything's good.
I just gotta handle it right now.
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah, of course. Okay.
- Good night.
- Alright, good night.
Good night, see ya, George.
If I don't figure this out,
I'm absolutely fucked.
What do I do? What the hell do I do?
Add more jeeps, buy more land.
get a little more property.
Put some more shit on it.
What else is there? There's nothing there.
There's nothing there.
Just driving around.
You get it. You understand.
It's okay. He's gonna come out of it.
All we can do is tell him that
and we got him.