The Girls on the Bus (2024) s01e04 Episode Script
Two Americas
1
[SOMBER ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
For most people, a memorial
service is a solemn event
meant to honor the recently deceased.
But to the Beltway establishment,
the power-hungry political elite,
and the chattering class of journalists
who feed off the entire ecosystem,
it's something else
a campaign opportunity.
The Geriatric may have been dead,
but the race was more alive than ever.
A heavy hitter had departed,
leaving the nomination
and Ohio up for grabs.
You can't hustle too hard
after a high-profile death.
That should be a given,
but it isn't always.
I understand the sense
of duty and purpose
that drove this man
and his life of public service.
We airlifted the last Americans
out of Saigon
in one of my proudest films,
"The Brave Among Us."
I love that movie! [AUDIENCE AGREEING]
Thank you.
We were united in our commitment
to America's promise,
even if his America was rooted
in the legacy of white privilege.
In many ways, he reminds me
of my late father.
When it comes to politics,
if you aren't cutthroat enough
to turn a eulogy into
a self-serving stump speech,
why the fuck are you
running for president?
One, two, three. [CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPS]
We are all
We're here to
You know what?
To be honest, many of you here
knew the secretary better than I did,
but nobody in here
knew him better
than his wife of 44 years.
And Lila, I do know a little bit
about the path you're on today,
more than I'd like to.
So if the rest of you don't mind,
take a second and talk to Lila.
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
Hi.
My wife, Emma, and I were
we were married for five years,
together for eight.
And when I lost her, it wasn't
just that the house felt empty
or that nobody was there
to watch bad reality television with me.
I remember reading somewhere
that our cells are replaced
every seven years,
so by the time I lost Emma,
there wasn't a single cell
left in my body
that didn't know her
and not a single cell
that didn't feel her loss.
Maybe that's how you're feeling today.
[PHONE RINGING]
[TWANGY QUIRKY MUSIC]
Uh, shit.
I'm so sorry.
I can't turn it I'm so sorry.
Just excuse me. This is happening.
- Are you for real?
- Yeah.
[PEOPLE MURMURING]
Whether it was the love your husband had
for his country or for his family.
Hello. Hello, I'm here. Sorry.
I'm hello?
Are you there? Hello?
[PHONE BEEPS]
Fuck. I'm gonna kill you.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I I meant that
in the metaphorical sense.
[SOMBER ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey, Bruce.
- Go ahead.
- Sadie.
Uh, I'm gonna call you back
in a little bit, bye.
[DIAL TONE HUMMING]
[SIGHS]
Hey.
- Uh, are you okay?
- Please, I'm fine.
Thanks. I'm I'm sorry.
I know you guys were close.
Spare me the sentimentality.
You practically parkoured over the pews
in the middle of a eulogy, which means
you are working on something big.
It was one pew.
Two.
I know what you're doing.
You get sources to fill
uncomfortable silences,
and then all of a sudden,
they're they're giving you
information they shouldn't be.
I I'm not falling for it.
I can be silent too.
♪
- Mm.
- [SNIFFS]
Very fine, thank you,
but truly, I just
- I spoke from the heart.
- Oh, actually,
I have been meaning to catch him.
I gotta I'll yeah.
My condolences.
Hey, there.
- Oh.
- Hi.
Your your your eulogy
was was beautiful.
You sounded like a real person
and not a power mourner,
which is rare at these things.
And you didn't even hear the end.
Oh, God, you saw that.
I am so sorry.
- You think the president saw?
- Yes.
I actually overheard him
tell his security detail
- to keep an eye on you.
- Oh.
Oh, so that's why I had a full-body
cavity search at the porta-potty.
You know, I never understood
why the press couldn't use
the indoor toilets.
Oh, you trust us to use
the same bathroom
as a Speaker of the House? We're feral.
Fair.
How's the profile coming along?
I should have asked,
are we off the record?
God, I hope so.
It's it's supposed to run on Sunday.
I'll I'll call you to fact check?
Yeah, any time.
And we might be getting
a press bus soon.
There'll be a seat for
"The Sentinel" if you want it.
Ah, careful what you wish for.
Okay.
Hi. How are you?
It's a pleasure to meet you guys.
God, this was such a waste of time.
I missed so much shit.
How much longer do we have to stay here?
Maybe this one time you don't say
every single thing you're thinking.
Wait, you're not, like,
actually mourning that man?
Oh, I'm sorry,
I didn't realize we needed
to check in with you
before expressing an emotion.
Please, you've literally spent weeks
shitting on him every chance
you got on national TV.
That was politics, Lola.
This is an actual memorial service.
I am a real human being.
Did you even hear those speeches?
This is politics.
Every single person here,
including you, apparently,
is so fucking fake.
Crying crocodile tears just
to prove how inner circle
you are, it's all
one bullshit performance.
Yeah.
- Nellie.
- Hi.
Well, you would know a thing or two
about performance, wouldn't you?
If you'll excuse me,
I'll be with the other frauds.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I thought you were done
with the Democrats.
Kimmy!
You know how it is.
Wherever POTUS goes, we go.
I bet they're feeding you a lot better
than turkey sandwiches.
We had filet mignon on the way over.
- Hmm.
- Girl, I've missed you.
You've been all over my TV lately.
You're making those Dems work for you.
Yeah.
It's just, moments like this
kind of change your perspective a bit
just about what we're putting out there.
What do you mean?
I mean, the vitriol can get
so personal sometimes.
Feels like we're supposed
to be talking about policy.
Honey, we're supposed
to be making television.
It's not like you killed the man.
Liberals are always gonna find a way
to make us doubt ourselves,
especially when their primary
is in chaos.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
- Oh, I am.
- Nellie, you coming?
I gotta go. Talk to you later.
[PHONE BUZZING]
If this is about the protein powder,
I tried it this morning,
and it tasted like ass.
Oh, that's just the mushroom extract,
but I have something that might put
a better taste in your mouth.
Water.
Water's free.
Mm, this is special water.
Some kind of technology that
makes it extra hydrating
and extra expensive.
But the protein people need a
post today, so start chugging.
I'm at a memorial, Ashley.
Where the fuck am I supposed
to make a protein shake?
That's your job, honey.
I'm running into a meeting.
I believe in you.
[CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPS]
[GROANS]
Don't let the Secret Service see that.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You okay?
You seem kind of rattled.
I'm fine.
I'm just not a big fan of church.
That tracks, yeah.
You want one?
Oh, my God.
I've always been a sucker
for peer pressure.
Take a whole one, you pussy.
Hey, you okay?
Look like you might have
pulled a muscle in there.
[CHUCKLES] You know what, actually,
I ran cross-country in high school,
but thanks for your concern.
Okay. [LINE TRILLS]
Hey, sorry. I'm back. Uh God damn it.
Sadie
I gotta call you back in five minutes.
God damn it.
Hey, Dale.
I heard they sent you out here
for one last hurrah.
Sorry your horse died.
Uh, I I didn't
I didn't mean that literally
I get it, Sadie. I'm off the road.
Back in New York tonight.
Honestly, it's fine, though.
I haven't had a good Grindr
date or a bagel in months.
I haven't had any trouble
finding carbs, unfortunately.
- [CHUCKLES]
- It's not funny.
I have a leder to file.
I'll see you back in New York.
Mm-hmm.
[LINE TRILLS]
Me again.
[VOICE MUFFLED]
Look, are you doing all right?
No. Are you eating?
You said I had five minutes.
What's wrong?
I missed it, Bruce.
The memorial?
No, no, the Deep Throat.
I haven't heard from him since Vegas.
So he ghosts me, and then,
when he finally calls me back,
I miss it because
of the goddamn service.
Well, he'll call back. I have faith.
Do you wanna know why I have faith?
Desperately.
I just finished reading
your Styles story.
Reminded me of Marjorie Williams.
You really captured him.
No, there's something larger,
something I don't know, human.
[SOFT SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
I yeah, I wanna add
some more color from today.
He, uh, he really moved the crowd.
Well, do it fast, 'cause the news desk
is stealing this one
to run on the front
Sunday paper.
You got your mojo back, Sadie.
I'm proud of you.
[LAUGHS] Aw, Bruce.
I'm just so grateful that I
All right, lovefest over.
Let me finish my bacon, egg, and cheese.
Okay, bye.
You think I'm fragile,
yeah, I get it ♪
You set me up and then forget it ♪
A misconception about
this weapon I was setting up ♪
Pretending I'm confessing ♪
'Cause it's time I show you how ♪
Oh ♪
Has anyone seen
a vibrator rolling around?
It looks like an egg with arms.
One, two, three, I can't
believe what you see ♪
[PHONE RINGING]
Shit.
I have to pee.
Oh ♪
I'm gonna win this round ♪
Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
Ew, ew, ew.
Sadie McCarthy.
Yeah, that's more like it.
I don't like getting voicemail.
Yeah, I'm I'm
I'm so sorry about that.
I couldn't get service, and then, um
well, here we are.
I'm listening.
You need to follow Walker's donations
because they are not all legit.
Did you just tell me
to follow the money?
'Cause I've seen
"All the President's Men" too.
You need to be more specific.
Something that wouldn't
show up on FEC filings?
'Cause every rich person is dodgy.
She's more than dodgy.
Walker's got a bad apple in her barrel,
and you know what they say.
Well, how would I even attribute that
[PHONE BEEPS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Good talk.
♪
Ew. [LINE TRILLS]
Yo.
Bruce, Bruce, I need Research
to pull every major
Walker donor and Super PAC.
You okay?
Yeah, get the chicken, not the tuna.
She's chasing something.
I don't know what it is yet,
but I'll find out.
Meantime, I'm sending you
500 words on the memorial,
and we're about to head into Youngstown.
[CHUCKLES] Walker's early play
for Ohio, yeah.
Uh, let me call you back.
Annie?
Hi.
How did you get here?
I took an Uber.
From Chicago with my credit card?
How did you know where I was?
I texted Sadie.
She responds quicker than you.
Okay, what what happened?
Why aren't you in the college
we're paying for?
I sort of got suspended.
♪
Right.
- What do we want?
- PROTESTORS: Clean water!
- When do we want it?
- PROTESTORS: Now!
- What do we want?
- PROTESTORS: Clean water!
The stench really speaks to the state
of the Democratic Party.
I think it's cool she came
to a sewage plant.
Why should we pretend
this isn't America?
Oh, I guess "America smells like ass"
doesn't really have
the same ring as, uh,
"a woman's place is in your face."
We're seeing that the so-called bra bump
has real staying power.
The polling booth she received
from college-educated women
after Nevada has only grown.
You mean white women, right?
Oh, Liberty Direct News,
reshaping stories.
Sadie, can I have a word, please?
- Excuse me.
- Okay.
- Someone's in trouble.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Watch your step.
- Thank you.
I really don't think
we should be doing this.
Doing what?
- Stop smiling.
- Ah.
- What do you want from me?
- Me? Nothing.
You have to ask her.
Sadie. Do you have a minute?
I'd like to talk to you about something.
[LAUGHS]
My life revolves around
your schedule, so you tell me.
Are we on the record?
Can we not be just this once?
As opposed to all of the times
you go on the record with me?
Okay, look, I know
we've had our differences,
and let's be honest, we still do,
but we both know this race
is too important
to get bogged down
by petty disagreements.
And if this week has shown us
anything, life is short.
I'd like to propose a truce.
This bitch is playing you.
A truce?
Senator, we're we're not at war.
Fuck yeah, you tell her.
Okay, you're right.
A clean slate then?
Let's give each other
the benefit of the doubt.
Move forward without prejudice.
Senator, they're ready when you are.
Let's go to work.
She's hiding something.
Or or she's riding high after Vegas,
drunk on optimism
and a RealClearPolitics average
that put her in second place
after the frontrunner,
well, died.
Or she heard about
your latest profile piece
and wants some of that
Sadie McCarthy glow.
Ah.
- Or she's hiding something.
- Ah.
[INQUISITIVE MUSIC]
I I I don't understand.
You told me you had some pot
in your dorm room.
I mean, who doesn't?
We also had some other stuff.
What stuff?
Pills.
Just Adderall,
just basically like caffeine.
Uh, doctors don't prescribe caffeine.
I can't get Adderall at Starbucks.
Does your father know?
I didn't want him to worry,
and I didn't want you to be mad.
I thought it would just be
probation or something,
but they said with the
aggravating circumstances
or whatever
What what what
aggravating circumstances?
We sold some of the pills.
Jesus fucking Christ, Annie.
This is why I didn't wanna tell you.
That you're a drug dealer?
- Good instinct.
- I was just helping!
My friend accidentally ordered too much
and needed to get rid of it,
and everybody uses it
- to study for finals anyway
- Ordered? Where?
Amazon Crime?
Who is this friend?
He's no one.
We met in Sociology.
Of course.
I get it now. "Friend"?
What's that supposed to mean?
It means we're calling your dad.
[SUPPORTERS CHEERING]
What's been happening here
in Youngstown is inhumane.
Parents were told their water was safe,
only to learn they've been
bathing their babies
in poisoned water.
If this was happening in a rich
suburb outside of Cleveland,
how quickly do you think the
government would have acted?
Preach.
Basic sanitation
should not be a privilege,
and clean water should not be reserved
for millionaires and billionaires.
[HORN HONKING]
Which way to the water?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Is that?
- AguaBro to the rescue!
What the fuck?
[EXCITING MUSIC]
When I heard what was
happening here in Youngstown,
I knew something had to be done.
And if all the politicians
can't fix things around here,
- maybe AguaBro can.
- What's going on?
I'm donating my paycheck
from my last AguaBro film
to do a little good here on dry land.
Does that say 16 million?
- I'm covering the cost
- Bullshit.
To fix Youngstown's water system.
Because AguaBro doesn't do red tape.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Preach.
Private enterprise saves the day again.
[ALL CHANTING "AGUABRO"]
Grace is gonna be so pissed
she missed this.
Hi, you've reached Charles Greene.
- Please leave a message.
- Damn it.
- What time is it there?
- What difference does it make?
He can't do anything
from the fucking jungle.
What am I gonna do from Toledo, Ohio?
Will you just get your
shoes off the bed? It's gross.
I don't know,
maybe you could call the dean
and tell him it's not that big a deal?
I bet that if you said
that you'd do a lecture
at the J-school or something,
they'd forget it even happened.
You want me to bribe them?
Do you know what happened
to Lori Loughlin?
- I don't know who that is.
- She went to jail.
Why are you being so dramatic?
Nobody goes to jail
for giving a lecture.
It's called free speech.
Do you know what it'd do
to my professional credibility
if I went around
trading favors to cover up
my daughter's criminal behavior?
It's like I don't even
know you right now.
Like you ever did.
What is that supposed to mean?
Because you missed everything.
Dad took me to ballet
and Back to School Night.
Dad helped me with pre-calc
and taught me how to drive.
That is because you were very bad,
and I couldn't have you
driving the Audi.
And they kicked me out of ballet
after I filed the story on Axelrod.
Dad bought me tampons.
What is this?
What, did you want a stay-at-home mom?
I am so sorry.
I was busy making the money.
Dad had a career.
Yours just always came first.
It came before everything.
You swooped in for birthdays
or graduation,
but mostly you picked this.
And I used to tell myself that
that was really important,
that you were out there
changing the world and shit,
but you were really sitting
in a fucking Greyhound
writing bullshit scooplets
and escaping your family.
Isn't it enough already?
Is another campaign
really more important
than your own legacy?
I've got news for you, kid.
This is my legacy.
I haven't spent my entire adult
life building a body of work
just so I can be remembered
as being a mom.
Any asshole can procreate.
I have been a part of three
Pulitzer-winning teams.
The work is the first line
of my obituary.
You, my dear, are the last.
And whether or not
you understand it right now,
that is a gift.
Your life belongs to you.
You don't have to live up
to my expectations.
[SOMBER SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
But what if what I want
is to be in school?
Then you will be
when your suspension is over.
And who the fuck is even
gonna read your obituary?
Dad?
Believe it or not,
I do have some friends.
You don't have friends,
you have sources,
and it's not the same thing.
None of them are going to
remember you when you're gone.
♪
[LAUGHS] He literally rode in
on a trash truck
wearing the full AguaBro costume.
I love it. Give me 1,000 words by 8:00.
Did you get the, uh,
the donor list from Research?
Yeah, I got it. I'm trying to start
with the known criminals and creeps,
but that still leaves a lot of names.
Well, that's hardly a ringing
endorsement of Walker.
Well, every candidate
has horrible donors,
and remember last cycle,
she actually returned the money
from that asshole Dick Braun
after his
his whole crypto scandal.
Well, it brought her
a few extra votes in Florida.
Didn't change the outc
oh, oh outcome. [GROANS]
What's wrong with you?
It's either a serrated spasm
or a herniated disk.
You think he's lying?
Who, the source?
I I don't know.
I talked to him, and I don't trust her.
I talk to her, and I don't trust him.
Have you tried a chiropractor?
I don't believe in chiropractors.
If somebody's gotta fuck with my spine,
I want them to have an MD.
Well, somebody's lying.
Whoa.
What? What?
That Youngstown stunt
must've really spooked her.
I just got an updated schedule,
and she's going to New York
tomorrow night for a fundraiser.
Oh, an evening with schmoozing
with shitheads and criminals.
You need to be there.
I'll do my best. Um, by the way, uh,
Walker sort of talked to me
off the record.
Oh.
You agreed to go off the record?
Jesus.
It wasn't like it was newsworthy.
It was a truce.
She wants a clean slate.
Or she wants to butter you up
so you won't report
on the brewing shitstorm
at her campaign.
Figure it out. Make me proud.
I thought you already were proud.
There's always room for improvement.
[LINE CLICKS] [DIAL TONE HUMMING]
[MELLOW MUSIC]
Hmm, I didn't take you for an IPA girl.
Oh, I read "The Sentinel" too.
- Don't tell your friends.
- Hmm.
By the way, I saw your hit
this afternoon.
That was some gold.
Well, I wish I could take credit,
but a man dressed as a fish
kinda sells itself.
Yeah, but you made it
a compelling argument
for public-private partnership.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Thanks.
You want a beer?
Yeah, I mean, if we can
make it a bourbon.
And just put it on my tab.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
Okay, fam, let me fill you
in on the clown show that
Oh, my God. Okay, so this
this is what I'm dealing with.
Let's not mistake
a brazen publicity stunt
as an act of heroism.
Working people should not have to depend
on the whims of the rich
just to get clean water.
Ugh, that girl needs to read Bari Weiss.
The best part is, is that
every other post of hers
is a #ad, so it's
a "Communist Manifesto"
- sponsored by branded content.
- Mm-hmm.
And it's a parody of liberal hypocrisy.
Wait.
Is that
Butt plumper butter.
Huh. Good Lord.
This I have to see.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh.
- I didn't look. I swear.
- No, no. It's fine.
It's just that, um,
some of the press got the okay
to break out of the bubble
and go to karaoke tonight.
Oh, well, don't let me keep you.
I should go pack anyway.
We've got a 5:00 a.m. bag drop
to go back to D.C.
Well, why don't you come?
I mean, I could use the backup,
and I do owe you a drink now.
When in Ohio.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
Hey.
Oh, love the slippers, but I thought
we weren't supposed to be doing this.
Ah, actually, these are limited edition
shearling Birks that I got on sale.
Ah, well, glad to see
you still love a good bargain.
And, uh, and I'm glad to see
that you're still enjoying
the Shinola I paid full price for.
Well, you know, I'm sentimental.
I remember.
Also, I need to cover
the fundraiser tomorrow.
Wow!
You really do know how to abuse
a fresh start, don't you?
Well, you heard your boss.
My role is central to society.
Oh, well, I hate
to break it to you, Sadie,
but sometimes politicians
say things they don't mean.
All right, I know that
these events are typically
closed off to press, but if
she wants a clean slate,
she's gotta start
letting us in or at least me.
- You?
- Come on.
She listens to you.
I'll try my best.
Thank you.
Hey, you sure you
don't wanna just, you know,
come in, kick off those slippers
I can't.
It's karaoke night.
Also, you should really shower.
We were at a sewage plant.
Oh, if I showered, would you
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Many times I've tried to tell you ♪
Many times I've cried alone ♪
Okay, she's good.
Boring.
Cut my feelings to the bone ♪
Don't wanna leave you really ♪
Didn't know you were coming.
Yeah, I am here.
I even brought some fake tears with me.
Kimberlyn, listen, about this morning
BOTH: We belong to the light ♪
We belong to the thunder ♪
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
BOTH: We belong to the
sounds of the words ♪
- Oh, my Gary.
- Oh, my God.
Whatever we deny or embrace ♪
For worse or for better ♪
- [LAUGHTER]
- Yes.
That was traumatic.
There was a used condom
on the bathroom floor.
Ew.
At least they were practicing safe sex.
Uh, Lola, this is Nellie Carmichael.
We work together at Liberty.
And this is Lola Rahii.
We're on Walker's bus together.
Of course. The communist.
Uh, socialist.
Do you know the difference?
Because my 6 and 1/2 million
followers know the difference.
My videos average a million
views across all platforms,
and my CPMs are higher
than your entire network.
Of course, and your ads, too, right?
What did you say
she was shilling, Kimmy?
Butt plumper?
Not that there's anything
wrong with curves
or free enterprise.
You're talking shit on me
behind my back with her?
- Like, seriously, her?
- No
You know what? Fuck both of you.
- Lola
- I don't give a shit.
Good Lord, is she always like this?
You know what, no.
She's not always like this.
- You sort of came at her.
- She kind of came at me first.
Yeah, but she's young
and new to this world.
You're the one who showed me the videos.
You were laughing then.
I was laughing with you, not her.
Oh, okay.
So you'll only laugh behind her back.
Got it.
You know, I should know
better than to waste my time
with a bunch of losers.
I'm a White House correspondent,
and I have 5:00 a.m. bag drop,
so if you'll excuse me.
But as long as we're
dropping truth bombs,
your segment today was an embarrassment.
I have no idea why
we're fellating that libtard,
but the words public-private
partnership made my pussy dry.
Wow.
You know what, Nellie?
Thank you.
For a second there,
I almost forgot who you were.
Hmm.
We belong, we belong together ♪
[VOCALIZING]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[THUMPING ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
You sure that's the move?
No.
But this is.
Ooh, feels like heaven ♪
Ooh, laying in your arms ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Ooh, captured by your charm ♪
♪
[MUSIC WINDS DOWN]
Ouch.
That had to have hurt.
Suck it, McCarthy. Whoo!
Reduced to hanging out
with the reporters, huh?
I thought that was just for bag men.
Oh, yeah, I'm definitely
way too important to be here.
I just wanted to deliver
the good news in person.
I talked to Walker, and she agreed.
There's no reason not to open
her fundraisers to press.
Wow.
[LAUGHS] I must have really charmed her.
I will take that as a thank-you,
and I'll also take a PBR
since you're buying.
Oh, oh, am I?
Isn't that a little déclassé
for a Yale grad?
Well, actually it's a union
thing, the duality of man.
I'm only half Ivy.
I'll hold that.
- Oh, you're se
- Very serious.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- Okay.
Boom! Guess who's going to a fundraiser.
Walker said yes.
Um, two PBRs.
Wow.
- Don't you look happy?
- Jeez. Yeah.
Uh, well, it looks like
you're not the only one
with a decent bagel in their future.
I'm going to New York
for Walker's fundraiser.
Oh, does she know that?
Well, her press secretary
just said she'd love
- to have "The Sentinel," so
- Wow.
You've really turned over a new leaf,
haven't you, with the campaign?
Yeah.
Yeah, kind of feels that way.
Hmm. I wonder what changed.
I [LAUGHS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Thank you so much.
Oh, I hope that's for me.
Actually, it's for uh [LAUGHS]
Definitely for you.
What happened to you today?
My child happened.
She got suspended for selling pills
to half the freshman class.
Give me the beer.
You walked into the party ♪
Like you were walking onto a yacht ♪
And you know what she wanted me to do?
Call the school and whore myself out
for some guest lecture
so they'd let her off the hook.
What'd you say?
Uh, no.
What kind of example is that?
I'll betcha think
this song is about you ♪
Don't you, don't you ♪
Jesus, that's the definition
of entitlement.
Everything comes so easy
that you don't even realize
[COUGHS] Famous dad.
Exactly.
I had to work harder
and be better than everyone
just to prove it wasn't nepotism.
Okay, Grace. All right, you're right.
- You're better than all of us.
- No, that isn't what
Stop for one second
and think about how scared
Annie must have been
to ask you for that favor,
to make herself that vulnerable.
Put yourself in her shoes
for one second,
and then maybe you'll remember
what it's like
to be one of us mere mortals.
Some of us need second chances
every now and then.
Hell, sometimes we even deserve it.
You're so vain ♪
You probably think this song
is about you ♪
You're so vain ♪
You up?
Sorry for texting so late.
I brought Wendy's.
I never turn down a Frosty.
Shut up.
[SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC]
Why is your room so clean?
Where's all your stuff?
Um, in the drawers?
- Don't you, like
- Unpack?
No, I'm not a psycho.
Okay, you're the one who
just showed up at my door.
Yeah, but I'm drunk.
Doesn't count.
You look bummed.
People can just be really fucking
disappointing sometimes.
You know?
They can be.
You wanna talk about it?
Not really.
Do you ever open up about the things
that are bothering you?
Not really.
You're drunk.
I'm not that drunk.
Sometimes I wonder ♪
When the world will end ♪
It makes me wonder
every now and then ♪
♪
'Cause nothing is a guarantee ♪
But I'm happy you're here with me ♪
Should I put this down [CUP CLATTERS]
There's nowhere else I'd rather be ♪
When the world will end ♪
Yeah, I get in to JFK at 1:00.
I'm gonna be at a fundraiser
till 8:00 or 9:00,
but I'm meeting Bruce for hot pot,
and then I'm on a 6:00 a.m.
to Charleston
the next day out of LaGuardia.
I I just don't
think I'm gonna have time
to see you this trip.
And I'd hate for you to schlep
all the way into the city
just for an hour.
Uh, Mom, I'm gonna have to call
you back at the airport.
- Bye. Hi.
- Hey.
What are you doing here?
In Ohio or existentially in life?
I just went out hunting
for a print paper.
I heard there's a pretty good
piece on me in "The Sentinel."
- Is there?
- Listen to this.
"It's unseasonably hot,
even for Las Vegas,
"as the candidate steps
into a sweltering loading dock
"to speak to the union workers
who work there.
"He's here to talk about a living wage,
"but not before he rolls up
his sleeves and pitches in,
"perhaps more comfortable with
some literal dirt on his hands
than the mudslinging
of electoral politics."
Someone give her a raise.
I also heard we've had a surge
in small-dollar donations
over the past 12 hours,
which I'm sure is,
you know, no coincidence,
so thank you for helping us
get the message out.
What? Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean
No, no, no, no, it's okay. It's okay.
You're just never supposed to thank
a journalist for a profile.
It basically means we've failed at life.
Michael Avenatti once sent
a colleague flowers,
and now she works in PR.
Ugh.
So I guess I shouldn't ask you to be
in my traveling press corps.
Absolutely not. Definitely not.
- Okay.
- Actually, can I
can I borrow one of those?
Thanks.
[SOFT SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
♪
Are you done with that?
Can we talk?
I am sorry
about what happened last night.
Nellie should not have come
after you like that.
You do not have to apologize for Nellie.
I already knew she was a massive bitch.
I'm also apologizing for me too.
I shouldn't have been talking
about you behind your back.
Then why were you?
I don't know, I just
I feel like you touched
a nerve at the memorial.
I was already feeling bad about myself,
and then what you said
just made me feel worse, and
that is not an excuse for my behavior.
It was some petty middle-school
shit, and I'm sorry.
I forgive you.
And I shouldn't have lashed out
at you, either.
Memorials and funerals,
they still kind of
freak me out, you know?
I've just been to way too many of them.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
It didn't even occur to me.
It's cool.
It's fine. Don't worry about it.
You never talk about it,
what happened to you
with the shooting and
I talked about it
all the time after it happened.
I made a whole bunch of noise.
I spoke at every
March for Our Lives rally.
Didn't change a fucking thing.
So that's why you're here.
You're really trying to change things.
I mean, yeah.
Or maybe. I don't know.
Either way, it doesn't give me
an excuse to be a bitch to you
at some old man's memorial.
I clearly should have been
shitting on Nellie instead.
Look, I know that you and I
disagree on a lot of things
Yeah, your Reagan fetish
is borderline unhinged.
But I like you, Lola.
I think you're a good person,
disastrous opinions and all.
Back at you.
People like to say New York
isn't the real America,
but what's more American
than being born someplace else
and coming to this city
to turn your dreams into a reality?
There's no denying this city
favors the rich,
the connected, the powerful.
As journalists,
we get to be flies on walls
we'll never afford, which makes us
super fucking skeptical
of every rich person we meet.
Sorry, this is for guests only.
You ever heard of feeding the press?
Who's the asshole?
- Mm. Blaine Novak.
- Mm.
He just pledged his entire
net worth to charity.
He's one of the good billionaires.
No such thing.
Definite possibility.
This guy's got half of Congress
in the back pocket of his hoodie.
Rich are free.
The rest of us are in cages.
[PHONE RINGING]
Shit.
[SOFT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Oh!
You have a twisted sense of timing,
I'll give you that.
You got her scared. Well done.
What does that mean? Are you here?
Walker is circling the wagons,
purging liabilities.
I'm sorry, no press past this point.
Oh, of course.
Purging liabilities?
What does that mean?
- Is someone getting fired?
- Hey, "Sentinel."
[DIAL TONE HUMS]
Uh, yeah. Sorry.
Won't happen again. I promise.
Hello, Sadie.
Hello, Dale.
How did you score an invite?
Oh, I would never miss
an open press fundraiser
six blocks from my house.
Well, you can thank me for that.
I'm the one that got her to open it up.
Oh, I'm sure you did.
Okay, I don't have time
for your weirdness.
- I'm chasing something.
- Chasing something.
Chasing something.
Is that code for making out
with Walker's press secretary?
I'm I'm sorry?
Where did you hear that?
Your your sources
always were shit, Dale.
I saw you in Vegas.
Saw what?
You're not as slick as you think, Sadie.
I think that's the worst part,
that you think everyone else
is too stupid to notice.
Why else would Walker
suddenly give you access?
Maybe because I'm her beat reporter
for the most influential
news outlet in the world?
You're being pretty sexist.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, you're
gonna fuck her spokesman
and then blame sexism?
I'm not blaming
I saw you, Sadie,
and you better hope
that I'm the only one.
Because your little hookup could put
the entire newsroom's
credibility at risk.
I mean, can you imagine what
Liberty Direct News, Drudge,
Twitter would say
if the Walker beat reporter
was literally in bed with the campaign?
I gave you so many chances
to come clean,
but you're too drunk on your
own Kool-Aid to even listen.
What do you want me to do, Dale?
I just want you to be held
to the same standard
as everyone else.
Bruce might love you,
but the rest of us see you
for what you really are, Sadie.
A fuckup.
- Does does Bruce
- I haven't said a word.
But I think he deserves to know
what you've done
with your second chance.
And if you won't tell him, I will.
[APPREHENSIVE MUSIC]
♪
Dean Yarber, I wanted to apologize
for not reaching out earlier,
but I've been traveling, and Annie and I
had a misunderstanding
about her disciplinary hearing.
But I do understand
how serious the situation is,
and I know Annie does, now, too.
If there's any way she could
get a second chance here,
some kind of probation or
Annie withdrew this morning.
Withdrew?
From the university.
I see.
Uh, I I think there's been some
You know, I'm I'm I'm sorry
to take up more of your time.
- No, not at all.
- Thanks again.
[LINE TRILLS]
This is Annie.
Leave a message, or better yet, text me.
Hey, Annie, it's me.
I just talked to the dean,
who told me that you withdrew.
This isn't a casual thing.
You know that, right?
I mean, you have to start over, reapply.
Just call me, okay?
♪
- Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, I took the liberty of ordering.
- You like spicy beef, right?
- Yeah, that's fine.
Oh, hey, 4 million hits on Stela.
The audio the audio teams
are gonna wanna do a podcast.
Uh, Bruce, can I talk to you
about something?
- We're supposed to have pork.
Where's the pork?
Bruce, I don't care about the pork.
Can I can I tell you something?
- What'd you do?
- Nothing.
I mean, it's not
what you're thinking, it's
Did something happen at the fundraiser?
Kind of, um
but also something happened before that,
- like, way before that.
- We gonna play 20 questions?
- You're gonna tell me what is?
- Okay, I fucked up.
But it was kind of a gray area, and I
- Spit it out, Sadie.
- Okay, I
I had a
I had a relationship with a
well, it was more like a fling
with the guy who was Walker's bag man.
Um, so it was super low level,
definitely not a conflict,
uh, but now he is
Walker's press secretary.
And we hooked up.
But he wasn't her spokesperson
at the time, or maybe he was.
I don't even know.
But I thought that he was
unemployed at the time,
and it was a terrible mistake.
It happened once, and I have
been avoiding him ever since.
Then why are you telling me now?
Dale knows.
I I swear to you it has never
once affected my reporting.
Walker hates my coverage.
Don't don't do that. Come on.
Can we just
Cancel your flight to South Carolina.
You're off the bus.
And now to a developing story.
We have very little information.
The Democratic candidate
Mayor Hayden Wells Garrett
was involved in a car accident
with an unknown woman.
The circumstances of the accident
are under investigation.
[SOMBER ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
For most people, a memorial
service is a solemn event
meant to honor the recently deceased.
But to the Beltway establishment,
the power-hungry political elite,
and the chattering class of journalists
who feed off the entire ecosystem,
it's something else
a campaign opportunity.
The Geriatric may have been dead,
but the race was more alive than ever.
A heavy hitter had departed,
leaving the nomination
and Ohio up for grabs.
You can't hustle too hard
after a high-profile death.
That should be a given,
but it isn't always.
I understand the sense
of duty and purpose
that drove this man
and his life of public service.
We airlifted the last Americans
out of Saigon
in one of my proudest films,
"The Brave Among Us."
I love that movie! [AUDIENCE AGREEING]
Thank you.
We were united in our commitment
to America's promise,
even if his America was rooted
in the legacy of white privilege.
In many ways, he reminds me
of my late father.
When it comes to politics,
if you aren't cutthroat enough
to turn a eulogy into
a self-serving stump speech,
why the fuck are you
running for president?
One, two, three. [CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPS]
We are all
We're here to
You know what?
To be honest, many of you here
knew the secretary better than I did,
but nobody in here
knew him better
than his wife of 44 years.
And Lila, I do know a little bit
about the path you're on today,
more than I'd like to.
So if the rest of you don't mind,
take a second and talk to Lila.
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
Hi.
My wife, Emma, and I were
we were married for five years,
together for eight.
And when I lost her, it wasn't
just that the house felt empty
or that nobody was there
to watch bad reality television with me.
I remember reading somewhere
that our cells are replaced
every seven years,
so by the time I lost Emma,
there wasn't a single cell
left in my body
that didn't know her
and not a single cell
that didn't feel her loss.
Maybe that's how you're feeling today.
[PHONE RINGING]
[TWANGY QUIRKY MUSIC]
Uh, shit.
I'm so sorry.
I can't turn it I'm so sorry.
Just excuse me. This is happening.
- Are you for real?
- Yeah.
[PEOPLE MURMURING]
Whether it was the love your husband had
for his country or for his family.
Hello. Hello, I'm here. Sorry.
I'm hello?
Are you there? Hello?
[PHONE BEEPS]
Fuck. I'm gonna kill you.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I I meant that
in the metaphorical sense.
[SOMBER ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
Hey, Bruce.
- Go ahead.
- Sadie.
Uh, I'm gonna call you back
in a little bit, bye.
[DIAL TONE HUMMING]
[SIGHS]
Hey.
- Uh, are you okay?
- Please, I'm fine.
Thanks. I'm I'm sorry.
I know you guys were close.
Spare me the sentimentality.
You practically parkoured over the pews
in the middle of a eulogy, which means
you are working on something big.
It was one pew.
Two.
I know what you're doing.
You get sources to fill
uncomfortable silences,
and then all of a sudden,
they're they're giving you
information they shouldn't be.
I I'm not falling for it.
I can be silent too.
♪
- Mm.
- [SNIFFS]
Very fine, thank you,
but truly, I just
- I spoke from the heart.
- Oh, actually,
I have been meaning to catch him.
I gotta I'll yeah.
My condolences.
Hey, there.
- Oh.
- Hi.
Your your your eulogy
was was beautiful.
You sounded like a real person
and not a power mourner,
which is rare at these things.
And you didn't even hear the end.
Oh, God, you saw that.
I am so sorry.
- You think the president saw?
- Yes.
I actually overheard him
tell his security detail
- to keep an eye on you.
- Oh.
Oh, so that's why I had a full-body
cavity search at the porta-potty.
You know, I never understood
why the press couldn't use
the indoor toilets.
Oh, you trust us to use
the same bathroom
as a Speaker of the House? We're feral.
Fair.
How's the profile coming along?
I should have asked,
are we off the record?
God, I hope so.
It's it's supposed to run on Sunday.
I'll I'll call you to fact check?
Yeah, any time.
And we might be getting
a press bus soon.
There'll be a seat for
"The Sentinel" if you want it.
Ah, careful what you wish for.
Okay.
Hi. How are you?
It's a pleasure to meet you guys.
God, this was such a waste of time.
I missed so much shit.
How much longer do we have to stay here?
Maybe this one time you don't say
every single thing you're thinking.
Wait, you're not, like,
actually mourning that man?
Oh, I'm sorry,
I didn't realize we needed
to check in with you
before expressing an emotion.
Please, you've literally spent weeks
shitting on him every chance
you got on national TV.
That was politics, Lola.
This is an actual memorial service.
I am a real human being.
Did you even hear those speeches?
This is politics.
Every single person here,
including you, apparently,
is so fucking fake.
Crying crocodile tears just
to prove how inner circle
you are, it's all
one bullshit performance.
Yeah.
- Nellie.
- Hi.
Well, you would know a thing or two
about performance, wouldn't you?
If you'll excuse me,
I'll be with the other frauds.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I thought you were done
with the Democrats.
Kimmy!
You know how it is.
Wherever POTUS goes, we go.
I bet they're feeding you a lot better
than turkey sandwiches.
We had filet mignon on the way over.
- Hmm.
- Girl, I've missed you.
You've been all over my TV lately.
You're making those Dems work for you.
Yeah.
It's just, moments like this
kind of change your perspective a bit
just about what we're putting out there.
What do you mean?
I mean, the vitriol can get
so personal sometimes.
Feels like we're supposed
to be talking about policy.
Honey, we're supposed
to be making television.
It's not like you killed the man.
Liberals are always gonna find a way
to make us doubt ourselves,
especially when their primary
is in chaos.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
- Oh, I am.
- Nellie, you coming?
I gotta go. Talk to you later.
[PHONE BUZZING]
If this is about the protein powder,
I tried it this morning,
and it tasted like ass.
Oh, that's just the mushroom extract,
but I have something that might put
a better taste in your mouth.
Water.
Water's free.
Mm, this is special water.
Some kind of technology that
makes it extra hydrating
and extra expensive.
But the protein people need a
post today, so start chugging.
I'm at a memorial, Ashley.
Where the fuck am I supposed
to make a protein shake?
That's your job, honey.
I'm running into a meeting.
I believe in you.
[CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPS]
[GROANS]
Don't let the Secret Service see that.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You okay?
You seem kind of rattled.
I'm fine.
I'm just not a big fan of church.
That tracks, yeah.
You want one?
Oh, my God.
I've always been a sucker
for peer pressure.
Take a whole one, you pussy.
Hey, you okay?
Look like you might have
pulled a muscle in there.
[CHUCKLES] You know what, actually,
I ran cross-country in high school,
but thanks for your concern.
Okay. [LINE TRILLS]
Hey, sorry. I'm back. Uh God damn it.
Sadie
I gotta call you back in five minutes.
God damn it.
Hey, Dale.
I heard they sent you out here
for one last hurrah.
Sorry your horse died.
Uh, I I didn't
I didn't mean that literally
I get it, Sadie. I'm off the road.
Back in New York tonight.
Honestly, it's fine, though.
I haven't had a good Grindr
date or a bagel in months.
I haven't had any trouble
finding carbs, unfortunately.
- [CHUCKLES]
- It's not funny.
I have a leder to file.
I'll see you back in New York.
Mm-hmm.
[LINE TRILLS]
Me again.
[VOICE MUFFLED]
Look, are you doing all right?
No. Are you eating?
You said I had five minutes.
What's wrong?
I missed it, Bruce.
The memorial?
No, no, the Deep Throat.
I haven't heard from him since Vegas.
So he ghosts me, and then,
when he finally calls me back,
I miss it because
of the goddamn service.
Well, he'll call back. I have faith.
Do you wanna know why I have faith?
Desperately.
I just finished reading
your Styles story.
Reminded me of Marjorie Williams.
You really captured him.
No, there's something larger,
something I don't know, human.
[SOFT SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
I yeah, I wanna add
some more color from today.
He, uh, he really moved the crowd.
Well, do it fast, 'cause the news desk
is stealing this one
to run on the front
Sunday paper.
You got your mojo back, Sadie.
I'm proud of you.
[LAUGHS] Aw, Bruce.
I'm just so grateful that I
All right, lovefest over.
Let me finish my bacon, egg, and cheese.
Okay, bye.
You think I'm fragile,
yeah, I get it ♪
You set me up and then forget it ♪
A misconception about
this weapon I was setting up ♪
Pretending I'm confessing ♪
'Cause it's time I show you how ♪
Oh ♪
Has anyone seen
a vibrator rolling around?
It looks like an egg with arms.
One, two, three, I can't
believe what you see ♪
[PHONE RINGING]
Shit.
I have to pee.
Oh ♪
I'm gonna win this round ♪
Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
Ew, ew, ew.
Sadie McCarthy.
Yeah, that's more like it.
I don't like getting voicemail.
Yeah, I'm I'm
I'm so sorry about that.
I couldn't get service, and then, um
well, here we are.
I'm listening.
You need to follow Walker's donations
because they are not all legit.
Did you just tell me
to follow the money?
'Cause I've seen
"All the President's Men" too.
You need to be more specific.
Something that wouldn't
show up on FEC filings?
'Cause every rich person is dodgy.
She's more than dodgy.
Walker's got a bad apple in her barrel,
and you know what they say.
Well, how would I even attribute that
[PHONE BEEPS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Good talk.
♪
Ew. [LINE TRILLS]
Yo.
Bruce, Bruce, I need Research
to pull every major
Walker donor and Super PAC.
You okay?
Yeah, get the chicken, not the tuna.
She's chasing something.
I don't know what it is yet,
but I'll find out.
Meantime, I'm sending you
500 words on the memorial,
and we're about to head into Youngstown.
[CHUCKLES] Walker's early play
for Ohio, yeah.
Uh, let me call you back.
Annie?
Hi.
How did you get here?
I took an Uber.
From Chicago with my credit card?
How did you know where I was?
I texted Sadie.
She responds quicker than you.
Okay, what what happened?
Why aren't you in the college
we're paying for?
I sort of got suspended.
♪
Right.
- What do we want?
- PROTESTORS: Clean water!
- When do we want it?
- PROTESTORS: Now!
- What do we want?
- PROTESTORS: Clean water!
The stench really speaks to the state
of the Democratic Party.
I think it's cool she came
to a sewage plant.
Why should we pretend
this isn't America?
Oh, I guess "America smells like ass"
doesn't really have
the same ring as, uh,
"a woman's place is in your face."
We're seeing that the so-called bra bump
has real staying power.
The polling booth she received
from college-educated women
after Nevada has only grown.
You mean white women, right?
Oh, Liberty Direct News,
reshaping stories.
Sadie, can I have a word, please?
- Excuse me.
- Okay.
- Someone's in trouble.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Watch your step.
- Thank you.
I really don't think
we should be doing this.
Doing what?
- Stop smiling.
- Ah.
- What do you want from me?
- Me? Nothing.
You have to ask her.
Sadie. Do you have a minute?
I'd like to talk to you about something.
[LAUGHS]
My life revolves around
your schedule, so you tell me.
Are we on the record?
Can we not be just this once?
As opposed to all of the times
you go on the record with me?
Okay, look, I know
we've had our differences,
and let's be honest, we still do,
but we both know this race
is too important
to get bogged down
by petty disagreements.
And if this week has shown us
anything, life is short.
I'd like to propose a truce.
This bitch is playing you.
A truce?
Senator, we're we're not at war.
Fuck yeah, you tell her.
Okay, you're right.
A clean slate then?
Let's give each other
the benefit of the doubt.
Move forward without prejudice.
Senator, they're ready when you are.
Let's go to work.
She's hiding something.
Or or she's riding high after Vegas,
drunk on optimism
and a RealClearPolitics average
that put her in second place
after the frontrunner,
well, died.
Or she heard about
your latest profile piece
and wants some of that
Sadie McCarthy glow.
Ah.
- Or she's hiding something.
- Ah.
[INQUISITIVE MUSIC]
I I I don't understand.
You told me you had some pot
in your dorm room.
I mean, who doesn't?
We also had some other stuff.
What stuff?
Pills.
Just Adderall,
just basically like caffeine.
Uh, doctors don't prescribe caffeine.
I can't get Adderall at Starbucks.
Does your father know?
I didn't want him to worry,
and I didn't want you to be mad.
I thought it would just be
probation or something,
but they said with the
aggravating circumstances
or whatever
What what what
aggravating circumstances?
We sold some of the pills.
Jesus fucking Christ, Annie.
This is why I didn't wanna tell you.
That you're a drug dealer?
- Good instinct.
- I was just helping!
My friend accidentally ordered too much
and needed to get rid of it,
and everybody uses it
- to study for finals anyway
- Ordered? Where?
Amazon Crime?
Who is this friend?
He's no one.
We met in Sociology.
Of course.
I get it now. "Friend"?
What's that supposed to mean?
It means we're calling your dad.
[SUPPORTERS CHEERING]
What's been happening here
in Youngstown is inhumane.
Parents were told their water was safe,
only to learn they've been
bathing their babies
in poisoned water.
If this was happening in a rich
suburb outside of Cleveland,
how quickly do you think the
government would have acted?
Preach.
Basic sanitation
should not be a privilege,
and clean water should not be reserved
for millionaires and billionaires.
[HORN HONKING]
Which way to the water?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Is that?
- AguaBro to the rescue!
What the fuck?
[EXCITING MUSIC]
When I heard what was
happening here in Youngstown,
I knew something had to be done.
And if all the politicians
can't fix things around here,
- maybe AguaBro can.
- What's going on?
I'm donating my paycheck
from my last AguaBro film
to do a little good here on dry land.
Does that say 16 million?
- I'm covering the cost
- Bullshit.
To fix Youngstown's water system.
Because AguaBro doesn't do red tape.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Preach.
Private enterprise saves the day again.
[ALL CHANTING "AGUABRO"]
Grace is gonna be so pissed
she missed this.
Hi, you've reached Charles Greene.
- Please leave a message.
- Damn it.
- What time is it there?
- What difference does it make?
He can't do anything
from the fucking jungle.
What am I gonna do from Toledo, Ohio?
Will you just get your
shoes off the bed? It's gross.
I don't know,
maybe you could call the dean
and tell him it's not that big a deal?
I bet that if you said
that you'd do a lecture
at the J-school or something,
they'd forget it even happened.
You want me to bribe them?
Do you know what happened
to Lori Loughlin?
- I don't know who that is.
- She went to jail.
Why are you being so dramatic?
Nobody goes to jail
for giving a lecture.
It's called free speech.
Do you know what it'd do
to my professional credibility
if I went around
trading favors to cover up
my daughter's criminal behavior?
It's like I don't even
know you right now.
Like you ever did.
What is that supposed to mean?
Because you missed everything.
Dad took me to ballet
and Back to School Night.
Dad helped me with pre-calc
and taught me how to drive.
That is because you were very bad,
and I couldn't have you
driving the Audi.
And they kicked me out of ballet
after I filed the story on Axelrod.
Dad bought me tampons.
What is this?
What, did you want a stay-at-home mom?
I am so sorry.
I was busy making the money.
Dad had a career.
Yours just always came first.
It came before everything.
You swooped in for birthdays
or graduation,
but mostly you picked this.
And I used to tell myself that
that was really important,
that you were out there
changing the world and shit,
but you were really sitting
in a fucking Greyhound
writing bullshit scooplets
and escaping your family.
Isn't it enough already?
Is another campaign
really more important
than your own legacy?
I've got news for you, kid.
This is my legacy.
I haven't spent my entire adult
life building a body of work
just so I can be remembered
as being a mom.
Any asshole can procreate.
I have been a part of three
Pulitzer-winning teams.
The work is the first line
of my obituary.
You, my dear, are the last.
And whether or not
you understand it right now,
that is a gift.
Your life belongs to you.
You don't have to live up
to my expectations.
[SOMBER SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
But what if what I want
is to be in school?
Then you will be
when your suspension is over.
And who the fuck is even
gonna read your obituary?
Dad?
Believe it or not,
I do have some friends.
You don't have friends,
you have sources,
and it's not the same thing.
None of them are going to
remember you when you're gone.
♪
[LAUGHS] He literally rode in
on a trash truck
wearing the full AguaBro costume.
I love it. Give me 1,000 words by 8:00.
Did you get the, uh,
the donor list from Research?
Yeah, I got it. I'm trying to start
with the known criminals and creeps,
but that still leaves a lot of names.
Well, that's hardly a ringing
endorsement of Walker.
Well, every candidate
has horrible donors,
and remember last cycle,
she actually returned the money
from that asshole Dick Braun
after his
his whole crypto scandal.
Well, it brought her
a few extra votes in Florida.
Didn't change the outc
oh, oh outcome. [GROANS]
What's wrong with you?
It's either a serrated spasm
or a herniated disk.
You think he's lying?
Who, the source?
I I don't know.
I talked to him, and I don't trust her.
I talk to her, and I don't trust him.
Have you tried a chiropractor?
I don't believe in chiropractors.
If somebody's gotta fuck with my spine,
I want them to have an MD.
Well, somebody's lying.
Whoa.
What? What?
That Youngstown stunt
must've really spooked her.
I just got an updated schedule,
and she's going to New York
tomorrow night for a fundraiser.
Oh, an evening with schmoozing
with shitheads and criminals.
You need to be there.
I'll do my best. Um, by the way, uh,
Walker sort of talked to me
off the record.
Oh.
You agreed to go off the record?
Jesus.
It wasn't like it was newsworthy.
It was a truce.
She wants a clean slate.
Or she wants to butter you up
so you won't report
on the brewing shitstorm
at her campaign.
Figure it out. Make me proud.
I thought you already were proud.
There's always room for improvement.
[LINE CLICKS] [DIAL TONE HUMMING]
[MELLOW MUSIC]
Hmm, I didn't take you for an IPA girl.
Oh, I read "The Sentinel" too.
- Don't tell your friends.
- Hmm.
By the way, I saw your hit
this afternoon.
That was some gold.
Well, I wish I could take credit,
but a man dressed as a fish
kinda sells itself.
Yeah, but you made it
a compelling argument
for public-private partnership.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Thanks.
You want a beer?
Yeah, I mean, if we can
make it a bourbon.
And just put it on my tab.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
Okay, fam, let me fill you
in on the clown show that
Oh, my God. Okay, so this
this is what I'm dealing with.
Let's not mistake
a brazen publicity stunt
as an act of heroism.
Working people should not have to depend
on the whims of the rich
just to get clean water.
Ugh, that girl needs to read Bari Weiss.
The best part is, is that
every other post of hers
is a #ad, so it's
a "Communist Manifesto"
- sponsored by branded content.
- Mm-hmm.
And it's a parody of liberal hypocrisy.
Wait.
Is that
Butt plumper butter.
Huh. Good Lord.
This I have to see.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh.
- I didn't look. I swear.
- No, no. It's fine.
It's just that, um,
some of the press got the okay
to break out of the bubble
and go to karaoke tonight.
Oh, well, don't let me keep you.
I should go pack anyway.
We've got a 5:00 a.m. bag drop
to go back to D.C.
Well, why don't you come?
I mean, I could use the backup,
and I do owe you a drink now.
When in Ohio.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
Hey.
Oh, love the slippers, but I thought
we weren't supposed to be doing this.
Ah, actually, these are limited edition
shearling Birks that I got on sale.
Ah, well, glad to see
you still love a good bargain.
And, uh, and I'm glad to see
that you're still enjoying
the Shinola I paid full price for.
Well, you know, I'm sentimental.
I remember.
Also, I need to cover
the fundraiser tomorrow.
Wow!
You really do know how to abuse
a fresh start, don't you?
Well, you heard your boss.
My role is central to society.
Oh, well, I hate
to break it to you, Sadie,
but sometimes politicians
say things they don't mean.
All right, I know that
these events are typically
closed off to press, but if
she wants a clean slate,
she's gotta start
letting us in or at least me.
- You?
- Come on.
She listens to you.
I'll try my best.
Thank you.
Hey, you sure you
don't wanna just, you know,
come in, kick off those slippers
I can't.
It's karaoke night.
Also, you should really shower.
We were at a sewage plant.
Oh, if I showered, would you
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Many times I've tried to tell you ♪
Many times I've cried alone ♪
Okay, she's good.
Boring.
Cut my feelings to the bone ♪
Don't wanna leave you really ♪
Didn't know you were coming.
Yeah, I am here.
I even brought some fake tears with me.
Kimberlyn, listen, about this morning
BOTH: We belong to the light ♪
We belong to the thunder ♪
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
BOTH: We belong to the
sounds of the words ♪
- Oh, my Gary.
- Oh, my God.
Whatever we deny or embrace ♪
For worse or for better ♪
- [LAUGHTER]
- Yes.
That was traumatic.
There was a used condom
on the bathroom floor.
Ew.
At least they were practicing safe sex.
Uh, Lola, this is Nellie Carmichael.
We work together at Liberty.
And this is Lola Rahii.
We're on Walker's bus together.
Of course. The communist.
Uh, socialist.
Do you know the difference?
Because my 6 and 1/2 million
followers know the difference.
My videos average a million
views across all platforms,
and my CPMs are higher
than your entire network.
Of course, and your ads, too, right?
What did you say
she was shilling, Kimmy?
Butt plumper?
Not that there's anything
wrong with curves
or free enterprise.
You're talking shit on me
behind my back with her?
- Like, seriously, her?
- No
You know what? Fuck both of you.
- Lola
- I don't give a shit.
Good Lord, is she always like this?
You know what, no.
She's not always like this.
- You sort of came at her.
- She kind of came at me first.
Yeah, but she's young
and new to this world.
You're the one who showed me the videos.
You were laughing then.
I was laughing with you, not her.
Oh, okay.
So you'll only laugh behind her back.
Got it.
You know, I should know
better than to waste my time
with a bunch of losers.
I'm a White House correspondent,
and I have 5:00 a.m. bag drop,
so if you'll excuse me.
But as long as we're
dropping truth bombs,
your segment today was an embarrassment.
I have no idea why
we're fellating that libtard,
but the words public-private
partnership made my pussy dry.
Wow.
You know what, Nellie?
Thank you.
For a second there,
I almost forgot who you were.
Hmm.
We belong, we belong together ♪
[VOCALIZING]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[THUMPING ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
You sure that's the move?
No.
But this is.
Ooh, feels like heaven ♪
Ooh, laying in your arms ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Ooh, captured by your charm ♪
♪
[MUSIC WINDS DOWN]
Ouch.
That had to have hurt.
Suck it, McCarthy. Whoo!
Reduced to hanging out
with the reporters, huh?
I thought that was just for bag men.
Oh, yeah, I'm definitely
way too important to be here.
I just wanted to deliver
the good news in person.
I talked to Walker, and she agreed.
There's no reason not to open
her fundraisers to press.
Wow.
[LAUGHS] I must have really charmed her.
I will take that as a thank-you,
and I'll also take a PBR
since you're buying.
Oh, oh, am I?
Isn't that a little déclassé
for a Yale grad?
Well, actually it's a union
thing, the duality of man.
I'm only half Ivy.
I'll hold that.
- Oh, you're se
- Very serious.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- Okay.
Boom! Guess who's going to a fundraiser.
Walker said yes.
Um, two PBRs.
Wow.
- Don't you look happy?
- Jeez. Yeah.
Uh, well, it looks like
you're not the only one
with a decent bagel in their future.
I'm going to New York
for Walker's fundraiser.
Oh, does she know that?
Well, her press secretary
just said she'd love
- to have "The Sentinel," so
- Wow.
You've really turned over a new leaf,
haven't you, with the campaign?
Yeah.
Yeah, kind of feels that way.
Hmm. I wonder what changed.
I [LAUGHS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Thank you so much.
Oh, I hope that's for me.
Actually, it's for uh [LAUGHS]
Definitely for you.
What happened to you today?
My child happened.
She got suspended for selling pills
to half the freshman class.
Give me the beer.
You walked into the party ♪
Like you were walking onto a yacht ♪
And you know what she wanted me to do?
Call the school and whore myself out
for some guest lecture
so they'd let her off the hook.
What'd you say?
Uh, no.
What kind of example is that?
I'll betcha think
this song is about you ♪
Don't you, don't you ♪
Jesus, that's the definition
of entitlement.
Everything comes so easy
that you don't even realize
[COUGHS] Famous dad.
Exactly.
I had to work harder
and be better than everyone
just to prove it wasn't nepotism.
Okay, Grace. All right, you're right.
- You're better than all of us.
- No, that isn't what
Stop for one second
and think about how scared
Annie must have been
to ask you for that favor,
to make herself that vulnerable.
Put yourself in her shoes
for one second,
and then maybe you'll remember
what it's like
to be one of us mere mortals.
Some of us need second chances
every now and then.
Hell, sometimes we even deserve it.
You're so vain ♪
You probably think this song
is about you ♪
You're so vain ♪
You up?
Sorry for texting so late.
I brought Wendy's.
I never turn down a Frosty.
Shut up.
[SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC]
Why is your room so clean?
Where's all your stuff?
Um, in the drawers?
- Don't you, like
- Unpack?
No, I'm not a psycho.
Okay, you're the one who
just showed up at my door.
Yeah, but I'm drunk.
Doesn't count.
You look bummed.
People can just be really fucking
disappointing sometimes.
You know?
They can be.
You wanna talk about it?
Not really.
Do you ever open up about the things
that are bothering you?
Not really.
You're drunk.
I'm not that drunk.
Sometimes I wonder ♪
When the world will end ♪
It makes me wonder
every now and then ♪
♪
'Cause nothing is a guarantee ♪
But I'm happy you're here with me ♪
Should I put this down [CUP CLATTERS]
There's nowhere else I'd rather be ♪
When the world will end ♪
Yeah, I get in to JFK at 1:00.
I'm gonna be at a fundraiser
till 8:00 or 9:00,
but I'm meeting Bruce for hot pot,
and then I'm on a 6:00 a.m.
to Charleston
the next day out of LaGuardia.
I I just don't
think I'm gonna have time
to see you this trip.
And I'd hate for you to schlep
all the way into the city
just for an hour.
Uh, Mom, I'm gonna have to call
you back at the airport.
- Bye. Hi.
- Hey.
What are you doing here?
In Ohio or existentially in life?
I just went out hunting
for a print paper.
I heard there's a pretty good
piece on me in "The Sentinel."
- Is there?
- Listen to this.
"It's unseasonably hot,
even for Las Vegas,
"as the candidate steps
into a sweltering loading dock
"to speak to the union workers
who work there.
"He's here to talk about a living wage,
"but not before he rolls up
his sleeves and pitches in,
"perhaps more comfortable with
some literal dirt on his hands
than the mudslinging
of electoral politics."
Someone give her a raise.
I also heard we've had a surge
in small-dollar donations
over the past 12 hours,
which I'm sure is,
you know, no coincidence,
so thank you for helping us
get the message out.
What? Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean
No, no, no, no, it's okay. It's okay.
You're just never supposed to thank
a journalist for a profile.
It basically means we've failed at life.
Michael Avenatti once sent
a colleague flowers,
and now she works in PR.
Ugh.
So I guess I shouldn't ask you to be
in my traveling press corps.
Absolutely not. Definitely not.
- Okay.
- Actually, can I
can I borrow one of those?
Thanks.
[SOFT SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
♪
Are you done with that?
Can we talk?
I am sorry
about what happened last night.
Nellie should not have come
after you like that.
You do not have to apologize for Nellie.
I already knew she was a massive bitch.
I'm also apologizing for me too.
I shouldn't have been talking
about you behind your back.
Then why were you?
I don't know, I just
I feel like you touched
a nerve at the memorial.
I was already feeling bad about myself,
and then what you said
just made me feel worse, and
that is not an excuse for my behavior.
It was some petty middle-school
shit, and I'm sorry.
I forgive you.
And I shouldn't have lashed out
at you, either.
Memorials and funerals,
they still kind of
freak me out, you know?
I've just been to way too many of them.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
It didn't even occur to me.
It's cool.
It's fine. Don't worry about it.
You never talk about it,
what happened to you
with the shooting and
I talked about it
all the time after it happened.
I made a whole bunch of noise.
I spoke at every
March for Our Lives rally.
Didn't change a fucking thing.
So that's why you're here.
You're really trying to change things.
I mean, yeah.
Or maybe. I don't know.
Either way, it doesn't give me
an excuse to be a bitch to you
at some old man's memorial.
I clearly should have been
shitting on Nellie instead.
Look, I know that you and I
disagree on a lot of things
Yeah, your Reagan fetish
is borderline unhinged.
But I like you, Lola.
I think you're a good person,
disastrous opinions and all.
Back at you.
People like to say New York
isn't the real America,
but what's more American
than being born someplace else
and coming to this city
to turn your dreams into a reality?
There's no denying this city
favors the rich,
the connected, the powerful.
As journalists,
we get to be flies on walls
we'll never afford, which makes us
super fucking skeptical
of every rich person we meet.
Sorry, this is for guests only.
You ever heard of feeding the press?
Who's the asshole?
- Mm. Blaine Novak.
- Mm.
He just pledged his entire
net worth to charity.
He's one of the good billionaires.
No such thing.
Definite possibility.
This guy's got half of Congress
in the back pocket of his hoodie.
Rich are free.
The rest of us are in cages.
[PHONE RINGING]
Shit.
[SOFT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Oh!
You have a twisted sense of timing,
I'll give you that.
You got her scared. Well done.
What does that mean? Are you here?
Walker is circling the wagons,
purging liabilities.
I'm sorry, no press past this point.
Oh, of course.
Purging liabilities?
What does that mean?
- Is someone getting fired?
- Hey, "Sentinel."
[DIAL TONE HUMS]
Uh, yeah. Sorry.
Won't happen again. I promise.
Hello, Sadie.
Hello, Dale.
How did you score an invite?
Oh, I would never miss
an open press fundraiser
six blocks from my house.
Well, you can thank me for that.
I'm the one that got her to open it up.
Oh, I'm sure you did.
Okay, I don't have time
for your weirdness.
- I'm chasing something.
- Chasing something.
Chasing something.
Is that code for making out
with Walker's press secretary?
I'm I'm sorry?
Where did you hear that?
Your your sources
always were shit, Dale.
I saw you in Vegas.
Saw what?
You're not as slick as you think, Sadie.
I think that's the worst part,
that you think everyone else
is too stupid to notice.
Why else would Walker
suddenly give you access?
Maybe because I'm her beat reporter
for the most influential
news outlet in the world?
You're being pretty sexist.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, you're
gonna fuck her spokesman
and then blame sexism?
I'm not blaming
I saw you, Sadie,
and you better hope
that I'm the only one.
Because your little hookup could put
the entire newsroom's
credibility at risk.
I mean, can you imagine what
Liberty Direct News, Drudge,
Twitter would say
if the Walker beat reporter
was literally in bed with the campaign?
I gave you so many chances
to come clean,
but you're too drunk on your
own Kool-Aid to even listen.
What do you want me to do, Dale?
I just want you to be held
to the same standard
as everyone else.
Bruce might love you,
but the rest of us see you
for what you really are, Sadie.
A fuckup.
- Does does Bruce
- I haven't said a word.
But I think he deserves to know
what you've done
with your second chance.
And if you won't tell him, I will.
[APPREHENSIVE MUSIC]
♪
Dean Yarber, I wanted to apologize
for not reaching out earlier,
but I've been traveling, and Annie and I
had a misunderstanding
about her disciplinary hearing.
But I do understand
how serious the situation is,
and I know Annie does, now, too.
If there's any way she could
get a second chance here,
some kind of probation or
Annie withdrew this morning.
Withdrew?
From the university.
I see.
Uh, I I think there's been some
You know, I'm I'm I'm sorry
to take up more of your time.
- No, not at all.
- Thanks again.
[LINE TRILLS]
This is Annie.
Leave a message, or better yet, text me.
Hey, Annie, it's me.
I just talked to the dean,
who told me that you withdrew.
This isn't a casual thing.
You know that, right?
I mean, you have to start over, reapply.
Just call me, okay?
♪
- Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, I took the liberty of ordering.
- You like spicy beef, right?
- Yeah, that's fine.
Oh, hey, 4 million hits on Stela.
The audio the audio teams
are gonna wanna do a podcast.
Uh, Bruce, can I talk to you
about something?
- We're supposed to have pork.
Where's the pork?
Bruce, I don't care about the pork.
Can I can I tell you something?
- What'd you do?
- Nothing.
I mean, it's not
what you're thinking, it's
Did something happen at the fundraiser?
Kind of, um
but also something happened before that,
- like, way before that.
- We gonna play 20 questions?
- You're gonna tell me what is?
- Okay, I fucked up.
But it was kind of a gray area, and I
- Spit it out, Sadie.
- Okay, I
I had a
I had a relationship with a
well, it was more like a fling
with the guy who was Walker's bag man.
Um, so it was super low level,
definitely not a conflict,
uh, but now he is
Walker's press secretary.
And we hooked up.
But he wasn't her spokesperson
at the time, or maybe he was.
I don't even know.
But I thought that he was
unemployed at the time,
and it was a terrible mistake.
It happened once, and I have
been avoiding him ever since.
Then why are you telling me now?
Dale knows.
I I swear to you it has never
once affected my reporting.
Walker hates my coverage.
Don't don't do that. Come on.
Can we just
Cancel your flight to South Carolina.
You're off the bus.
And now to a developing story.
We have very little information.
The Democratic candidate
Mayor Hayden Wells Garrett
was involved in a car accident
with an unknown woman.
The circumstances of the accident
are under investigation.