The Iris Affair (2025) s01e04 Episode Script

1
The following programme contains
strong language and violent scenes.
This is Charlie's creator - Jensen.
All we need to get the machine
up and running
is to enter an activation sequence
enciphered in this diary.
I need you to wake Charlie up, Iris,
or they're gonna kill me.
Your diary is a puzzle. He calls
the machine the lamentation of God.
The silence of the dead voices.
The abomination of desolation.
The Kali Yuga.
You haven't finished decoding it yet?
I'd like to see you try.
He changed the key every week.
So, that's a no then.
Hello?
Hi. We've never actually spoken.
My name's Iris Nixon.
This is real, right?
Meet me in Rome
and I will tell you everything.
Teo, they found me. I need to get
off this island or I'm dead.
'I told you.
They're here for money.'
I've still got the diary.
You kill me, you don't get it.
You hurt Joy, you don't get it.
Get in!
Team 1, all clear. No survivors.
Team 1, all clear. No survivors.
All right, all right. On we go.
OK, copy that.
Huh.
What have you done to me, Jensen?
Please help me understand.
You know what you've done.
Do you even remember?
And can you explain it?
It was my
obligation. To what?
These were nice people.
These were brilliant,
kind, clever people.
They didn't mean you any harm.
They didn't mean to hurt anyone.
No.
So
can you tell me why?
Help me?
There was a man called - Eugene Schieffelin.
-No, no.
Stop. He decided to introduce
to the United States of America
Stop, stop all the birds
I'm trying really hard to understand.
But I am angry and I am scared
and I just
I need you to give me something,
so that I can forgive you.
He decided to introduce
to the United States of America
all the birds mentioned - in the place of Shakespeare.
-I know.
In 1890 he released 80 starlings
into Central Park.
And that's where all the starlings
in America come from
I know this story
all 200 million of them.
A man who loved Shakespeare
and only wanted to make the world
more beautiful.
I just need the activation sequence.
No.
Never.
In 1960 a plane crashed
into Boston
because 10,000 starlings
had flown into it.
62 people died.
Starlings decimate crops.
Starlings drive out native species.
Starlings they
spread diseases.
I know
you believe
that the truth will be beautiful.
You think it will.
The poetry, the symmetry.
You believe it will set us free.
But the truth
is savage
and sorrow.
We must not speak.
You know,
I just need you to help me.
I know.
And I'm trying.
SIOUXSIE SIOUX: Here Comes That Day
Oh, here comes that day
Oh, here comes the rain
on your parade
There's a price to pay
For a life of insincerity
And you pretend
That it doesn't matter
And that you're not scared
Oh, here comes that day
Oh, here comes the rain
on your parade ♪
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
It's disgusting.
Here.
So, who are you?
No-one, really.
What do you mean?
Everyone's someone.
Yeah, obviously.
I'm just no-one in particular.
No, I don't understand.
Who are you to Iris?
She's my tutor.
In? Maths. Science. Philosophy.
So, what were you doing
at the airstrip?
She asked me.
You had a bomb. You brought a bomb.
No! I mean
yeah, but it's not like she told me
that. I just thought
-What? - I don't know. Not that - it was a bomb!
-What? A literal bomb?
So, you're not her accomplice
or anything like that?
Her confederate. No.
Daughter? No.
Girlfriend? What? Jesus!
Sorry,
I'm just trying to get this straight.
Are you nothing to her?
But I've just
Oh, Christ.
What have I done?
Meski, when we're clear,
find a quiet place to set us down.
Iris Nixon?
Look, I'm sorry about this,
bringing you with me -
I wasn't thinking.
I thought you and she
I thought you meant something to her.
Which was pretty stupid
because nobody does, not really.
She'll come for me.
Yeah? What makes you think that?
She promised.
-Well, she lies. -Not to me.
I wish I could agree, I really do.
I could run.
And Meski will shoot you.
They'll find my body.
Trace it to you.
Not if we load you into a helicopter
and drop you into the sea.
But you don't want to do it.
No. I really don't.
So don't.
Yeah, the thing is I
I think I probably have to.
Because I might tell people.
Yeah, pretty much.
So, pay me. Yeah, OK.
But the thing is,
people who can be bought
can generally be bought again
by different parties.
-So, offer me a lot.
-I'm not talking about them paying you with money.
I'm talking about bad stuff.
I'm talking about fear and pain
and all the rest of it.
Yeah?
Well, you've got
actually, I think you've got
some bone in your hair.
Oh, please. Get it out! Where?
There.
Eugh.
Who was that, do you think,
in my hair?
Dunno.
How do you know Miss Brook?
Well, I was sort of her boss.
Disgusting.
What happened?
Well, she stole something.
And the thing is,
if I don't get it back,
things are gonna get really, really
bad for me. Really bad.
There are people out there
Joy.
There are people out there, Joy
and you wouldn't believe
the things that they will do.
I didn't believe it myself
until it was too late.
You just take one step,
one fork in the road
and things get really dark.
Yeah.
I can see that.
Well, for what it's worth, you seem
like the sort of person she'd like
in a narcissistic sort of way.
Which means you can't do it.
Can't do what? Body me.
Oh, right. Course.
Er, sorry, why?
Because you need your thingamabob
back from Miss Brook Iris.
and the only way
that's going to happen
is if she actually does
care about me a bit.
Which you yourself said
she actually might.
So even if you wanted to kill me,
which you basically don't
you couldn't.
Not yet.
You need me alive.
Plus
you need to be wrong about her
which I actually think you are.
Alright then, clever clogs
A different kind of mystery,
one that really set
the conspirasphere alive.
Exactly who and where is Iris Nixon.
'I need to know
why Jensen did what he did.'
Charlie must not wake!
Tell me why!
'Destroy the book. Burn it.'
Your diary is a puzzle.
'One more code to crack,
five more pages to read
using a DNA sequence
as a source of book code.'
Charlie must not wake!
'One more code to crack
using a DNA sequence.
DNA is the book of life.
Using DNA. Using DNA.'
It's you, Jensen.
You used your own DNA.
You crafty bastard.
Comandante.
Greetings and salutations!
This is Two Seconds To Midnight
and I'm Alfie Bird with an important
update on the Iris Nixon affair.
OK, we have got a missing girl,
an island-wide lockdown,
a mysterious helicopter,
an alleged terrorist bomb
and complete silence
from local police.
Why is Iris Nixon in Sardinia?
And what is being kept hidden?
This is Two Seconds To Midnight
and I'm Alfie Bird.
Come on.
Multiple mainstream outlets
are confirming that Iris
has been spotted in Sardinia.
Hello? Hello.
Hello?
Am I speaking with Alfie Bird?
Er you are, yes.
Sorry, who's who's that?
This is Inspector Casterman
of the Sardinian police.
OK. Gosh. I see.
How can I help? Am I in trouble?
No, not at all. Um
I think I'm I'm correct in saying
you are the closest thing there is
to an expert
on the subject of Iris Nixon.
Well, it's not for me to say really
but yeah, I think it's fair.
I mean, you might say so,
but I couldn't possibly comment.
So, yeah, what's what's going on?
How can I help?
We have reason to believe that
Iris Nixon is currently in Sardinia.
So, it's definitely true then,
what they're saying on the news?
I'm afraid that I'm not at - liberty to say.
-No. No, of course.
I'm actually calling to ask
if you might be in possession
of any information that could
be of useful to our investigation.
What sort of information?
Well, I'm thinking of
the kind of material
you wouldn't be comfortable - sharing in a public forum.
-Such as?
I don't know, Mr Bird,
I'm asking you.
Ha! Yeah, yeah, of course. Um
Pa-pa-pa-pa Well, yeah not that
I can think of.
I mean, not off the top
of my head. Sorry. I see.
You know, if you're ever in London,
maybe I could interview you
for the channel.
Oh, I don't think
that will be necessary.
But thank you, I appreciate it.
Thank you for your help.
Not off the top of
my head. Sorry.
Not off the top of my head. Sorry.
Joy.
You're free to come and go
as you please
within the limits
of your access privileges.
Don't worry, it's pretty easy.
Green for go, red for no,
that kind of thing.
Seems pretty basic, yeah.
Is that basic
in the pejorative sense or?
Home again, home again, jiggidy jig.
You've got access to the grounds, but
trying to leave would be a bad idea.
Yeah?'Fraid so. Even if you
got bitten by a radioactive spider,
but somehow managed to make it
past the perimeter,
we're in the middle of nowhere
and you'll die of exposure.
Miss Brook managed it.
Iris. Er, and she did, yes.
(But A) she's the devil
and B) that's why we upgraded.
So just don't try and leave, OK?
I'd hate for you to get shot
before you got fried,
before you got exploded by a mine,
before you went hungry
and froze to death
and got eaten by mammals.
Whatever.
Can I have the internet? No.
Expect we can organise some sort of
monitored "read-only" thing
but obviously no social media.
Obviously. Just Spotify.
Oh, yeah, OK.
What sort of stuff are you into?
I mean, are we talking Billie Eilish
or? I quite like Abyssal Serenade.
Oh, yeah?
Pale Midnight are alright, I guess.
OK.
And um Delulu Sisters sometimes.
Right. Are you making these up?
Yeah.
OK.
Hello. Mr Beck.
I hope this isn't
an inconvenient time to call.
My name's Hugo Pym. I'm the acting
head of the Intragroup Committee.
Er, well, I wasn't actually
expecting a call.
But, er, I normally I deal with
Yes.
No, you won't be dealing with
them anymore.
This issue has been,
well, kicked upstairs.
How far upstairs are we talking?
Top floor, I'm afraid.
What does that mean, exactly?
Well, I'm sorry to be the bearer
of bad tidings -
and, obviously, this is terribly
embarrassing for both of us -
but I have a duty to inform you
that there is,
well, rather an issue
with the shareholders, as it were.
The money. I mean,
their investment, as you know,
it does amount
to several billions of dollars.
And they will recoup their investment
a thousand times over.
Yes - when you have
regained access to the device,
the apparatus.
Obviously, yes.
Well, there's the rub, you see. When
do you think that's likely to be?
Because
without a definitive timeline
this situation feels less like
a deferred return on investment
and more like well, fraud.
Mr Pym, it works.
Be that as it may,
I have a duty to inform you that,
given the continued absence of any
compelling evidence as to your good faith,
sanctions will be entered into.
Would you care to articulate
the nature of those sanctions?
I'm afraid I'm not at liberty
to do so.
Well, just to be abundantly clear,
we are talking about killing me here.
Obviously, I can neither
confirm nor deny that.
But between you, ma and the gatepost
I would advise you to ensure
your affairs were in order.
Mr Pym, I'm on top of it.
I have leverage.
Well, that's good news.
What kind of leverage?
Well, I have something
that Iris wants very much
and that she cares about very deeply.
Joy
say hello.
Hello.
And how does this leverage work
in practice?
Well, Iris gives me what I need or
By which we mean the stolen diary.
Yes. And if she doesn't you
you kill this young woman?
Yes.
Mr Beck,
that won't do at all, will it?
No? Of course not.
One doesn't kill the goose
that laid the golden egg.
One keeps the goose alive
as long as one can
while one sections and cooks it.
Sorry, I don't follow.
I'm saying we start
perhaps with an amputation -
a foot or a hand - that is often
enough to do the trick.
And if not, well, we have a number
of highly-skilled surgeons
on the payroll
who'd be more than willing to keep
this young woman alive and conscious
past the point
where continued existence becomes
well, a moral obscenity, frankly.
Once the limbs have been removed,
we move on to the lower mandible.
The tongue. Nose. Eyes.
It's actually all quite fascinating.
Mr Pym
I employ professionals,
not psychopaths.
Well, then it's lucky we spoke.
I'll be there in the morning.
OK?
Mm-hm.
Today we're breaking down
the five key parts to target
when size isn't on your side.
First, the head.
And it is not about landing
that knockout punch.
Targeting the head can affect
the balance and orientation.
Second, step into the space of your
opponent and control the shoulder,
use the hip as leverage
and take him down.
Third, attack, attack and attack.
Being relentless
is the key to your success.
-Ugh!
-Oh!
Fuck!
Hold the wrist. Pull the shoulder.
Arh!
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up.
I'm not gonna hurt you anymore.
I'm just gonna rob you.
It's not like you're gonna go to the
police, is it?
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
What else have you got?
Cocaine. MDMA.
Adderall.
Fentanyl.
Naloxone.
Disease and cure, eh?
Nice.
COWBOY JUNKIES: Sweet Jane
Anyone who's ever had a heart
Wouldn't turn around and break it
And anyone
who's ever played a part
Would turn around and hate it
Sweet Jane
Sweet Jane
Oh, sweet, sweet Jane
You're waiting for Jimmy
down in the alley
You're waiting there
for him to come back home
And thinking of ways
to get back home
Hey. Hey.
How are you?
Exhausted. You?
Exhausted.
Joy?
Not too bad, considering.
Good.
She seems pretty resilient.
But then kids are, aren't they?
They adapt to circumstances.
Yeah, let's hope so.
I should never have taken her, Iris.
I'm sorry.
I know.
I wasn't thinking.
It was all the adrenaline.
I know.
But the situation I'm in now,
even if I didn't want to hurt her,
which I don't,
there are people who do.
So, don't let them do it.
Just bring me the diary.
Don't try and contact her.
Don't try and do anything clever.
Give up trying to win
because right now the best
that any of us can hope for
is to just to get out of this alive.
So, please, just bring me the diary.
I'm trying. It's nearby.
Well then, just tell me where it is.
Not on your Nelly.
We do swapsies.
I bring you the diary and
you give me Joy.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Proof of life.
I need to know she's OK.
OK. Swapsies it is.
Now, I realised something
really weird today.
Yeah? What's that?
According to some metrics,
you're probably my best friend.
Well, according to others,
you're drunk.
I need to get a message to her
but there's no messages in or out.
Then again, it's not Supermax is it,
Cameron? It's not GitMo.
Because you want her to like you.
You can't help yourself.
So, what do you do
to make her like you?
You give her something.
Because you think that's the way
to make her like you.
It's not but you think it is.
What does someone like you
give someone like her,
in her position?
What does someone like you give
someone like her, in her position?
SISTER SLEDGE: Lost In Music
No turning back
We're lost in music
We're lost in music
Feel so alive
I quit
My nine to five
We're lost in music ♪
ANNA THORVALDSDOTTIR: Archora
What?
THE THREE DEGREES:
When Will I See You Again
An Incomplete List of Songs I Love
That You Probably Hate.
When Will I See You Again.
Don't Speak. Don't Make A Sound.
I'm Coming For You.
I Will Never Let You Down.
However. There Is. Something I Need.
Up On The Roof. Listen Up.
This Is For You. Miss Brook.
Ha-ah
Oo-ooh
Precious moments ♪
'Listen,
I know you're scared and alone.
But I know exactly where you are,
and everything's going to be OK.'
I'm gonna get the diary
that Cameron wants
and I'm gonna get you out of there.
'But I'm gonna need you
to do something for me.
I need you to find a man
called Jensen.
I need you to get
some of his DNA for me.
Just one strand of hair
would be enough
for me to find out
why all this is happening.'
Just keep looking straight ahead, please.
Thank you, for coming.
You're welcome. No no problemo.
OK, I'll tell you everything.
Jensen Lind. Charlie Big Potatoes.
Do with it whatever you want.
Take them all down.
Get rich. Get famous.
So how do we do that?
First,
I need to get my hands on a book.
It's kind of a diary
and I've hidden it here in Rome.
Problem is,
is I can't get it myself.
There's too many people
looking for me.
So where is it?
Come on, Alfie, mate. Where's
the best place to hide a book?
Actually, now we're here,
I don't know
if I can actually do this.
'Course you can. Easy peasy.'
I feel like everyone's
looking at me.
It's like a seventh sense thing.
Nobody is looking at you.
Head or body?
Eh?
OK. I'm inside.
Oh, it's actually massive.
That guard is definitely looking.
No, he's not.
He is definitely not looking at you.
What are his eyes doing then,
when they're pointed at me?
Just keep moving, Alfie.
Oh, er
Grazie Mille.
Um
Grazie.
That guard's definitely looking,
Iris.
He is not looking at you.
But he's gonna start looking at you
if you talk to yourself like
you're neglecting your medication.
Wow. Rude.
Just
Just be invisible.
By remembering
that nobody cares that you exist.
OK. Brilliant. Thanks.
What bit?
I don't know. All of it.
So pretend that you're a Pod Person
and stand still.
I've forgotten how to stand.
I mean, where do you put your hands?
Christ, this isn't a minute.
She said she'd only be a minute.
Just relax.
Right.
Oi!
Whoa.
Thank you. Can't wait to dip in.
Open the book, Alfie.
There it is. That's it.
I'm actually
a bit scared to touch it.
Don't be nervous.
OK, careful now. Slowly.
Now shove the bars of soap
into the cavity.
Oh, fuck.
Alfie, Alfie. Alfie, seriously.
Pick up the diary.
Alfie, would you snap out of it
and pick it up!
Alfie, can you hear me.
Alfie, pick it up! Alfie.
Relax. I'm chill.
Pick up the fucking diary!
Happy now?
That's it.
That's it. Well done.
Good boy. You're doing great.
Thank you.
I thought it would be funnier.
OK.
Oh, no.
That's it.
Just get out of there, Alfie.
You have outdone yourself,
my friend.
That was good work.
I know, right?
You're made for it.
No, I'm made for a glass of tequila.
That's what I'm made for.
I'm buying.
Well, actually, you're buying.
Mr Bird?
Nico Casterman.
We spoke yesterday.
I wonder if you have time
to answer some questions for me.
Yeah, of course. Good.
Do you have a place to stay?
Er, yeah.
Can you take me there?