Tommy & Tuppence (2025) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
1
♪
Narrator: Where were we?
Aah!
♪
Narrator: Ahh, yes.
Our cliff hanger.
It was rather a dramatic one.
Tommy: Oh, my God.
Narrator: I'll let you get on,
shall I?
Tuppence? Tuppence?
Ohh.
[ Breathing heavily ]
♪
[ Inhales sharply ]
[ Groaning ]
You alright?
That was a really long,
horrible night.
Yeah. That's why I didn't wanna
move you, in case I woke you.
Mm.
Cup of tea?
Thank you.
And painkiller.
Thanks.
[ Sighs ]
Tuppence:
Omar wasn't our murderer.
And to think
to think that this all started
with some missing pearls.
But what did he know
that got him killed?
Well, Archie said that Omar was
overstepping the mark
when it came to finding a story.
So maybe that story was
about our murderer?
Yeah, sadly we can't ask him
what he was working on,
can we?
Actually, uh
when I was in Omar's flat,
I, um
did something
that was a little illegal.
-Yes. Go on.
-[ Both laugh ]
Well, he had he had
a voice-mail on his watch.
-Mm-hmm.
-And
[clears throat]
maybe I pressed play.
I'm oddly proud of you.
It was something
about a document,
-from a registry office.
-Okay.
Oh.
[ Clears throat ]
Okay.
Registry office.
So, like
a birth or death or a marriage?
Yeah. Maybe it was
Maybe it was part
of Omar's research into Archie.
It's a stretch, but
that's all we have.
Yeah.
Well, then we have to chase it.
[ Inhales sharply ]
Listen
are you sure you want to
keep going, Tuppence?
Perhaps we should stop.
N-No.
This just got really,
really personal.
You know, for a moment
I saw you, um[clears throat]
-I thought, um
-Hmm?
No, no, no.
I'm not.
I'm fine.
Hey, Tommy.
[ Breathes deeply ]
♪
Sorry. Sorry.
♪
[ Knock on door ]
Julius: Hello?
[ Knocking continues ]
Hey, Tuppence?
Fuck!
Oh, my God, that's Julius.
[ Knocking continues ]
Oh, fuck!
Coming!
Oh, fuck! [ Sighs ]
[ Knocking continues ]
Hey!
Tuppence: Hey! Julius.
I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting something?
You know, when your
sister told me that you started
an amateur private
detective agency with an ex,
I thought it was code
for a mental breakdown.
[ Laughs ]
The two aren't
mutually exclusive.
Hey, what happened here?
You okay?
Uh, yeah. I fell.
I mean, well, actually, I was
pushed by a murderous intruder.
Hazards of the job.
Here I thought acting was full
of backstabbers.
This is some great tea,
by the way.
-Uh, Timmy, was it?
-Um, it's Tommy.
Sure. Yeah.
Listen, maybe now is
not a great time to talk.
You know, if there's
a murderer on the loose.
No. It's not.
We've actually got
quite a lot of work to, um,
-to crack on with.
-Yeah.
No, I saw the, uh,
scary-sounding registry.
Can you not touch that, please?
Thanks. Um,
so I was thinking, right,
what if we just waited to see
if
if whatever Omar ordered
from the registry office
was still delivered to his place?
Can we afford to wait that long
when the murderer is
still out there?
I mean
Yeah.
Maybe we can talk later.
Sure. Yeah.
I just wanted to drop these off.
I was gonna send an e-mail,
but it just felt too impersonal,
so I, uh, I printed them off
for you.
Divorce papers. Sorry.
You came all the way from America
to give me divorce papers.
I'm sticking around for a bit.
I'm trying to find
a director for that movie
with Harry styles.
Of course, of course.
Two birds, one stone.
Fucking convenient.
-That's not
-No? It's not
I'm, uh, staying
at the Radcliffe.
Room 209.
Your favourite.
When you want to talk.
Tim.
♪
So that's Julius.
He's, uh
He's tall.
Should we talk about
what happened?
Let's just get on with the case.
♪
We are not naming her
after your mum's hygienist.
-Why?
-Because it's ridiculous.
Okay, here we are.
Births, deaths and
Marriages.
Um, let's find Mrs. Asante.
♪
Wait until I call next.
-Sorry.
-Sorry.
Next.
Tuppence: Hi.
Um, so, my friend here,
-Omar Bevington
-How you doing?
He ordered a certificate
from your archive,
and we wondered
if we could just pop by today
and grab a hard copy
Now, if that's okay.
You're Omar Bevington, are you?
Yes.
Clerk: The dead guy?
Sorry.
God, did I say he's Omar B
What I meant was
we work for Omar,
and it's obviously
really terribly sad,
and we feel like we need to, um,
to finish, um, his work.
It's Was his dying wish.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Oh, we need to get access
to that computer.
We need to find
some kind of a distraction.
So her son goes to
Saint Cormac's.
I noticed the logo on the mug,
and then the photo on her desk
is a school around here.
Okay, great.
So now all we need
is her phone number.
Which I also have, strangely.
Oh, okay. See.
207942
932. Okay.
[ Line rings ]
What do I do? Wait.
Do an accent.
Hello?
Is that Mrs. Asante?
Hi. Yeah, I'm calling from
Saint Cormac secondary School.
Yeah.
Um, I'm afraid you're
gonna have to come
and collect your son.
Yeah. Um, because, uh
-He's been suspended.
-He's been suspended.
What for?
-Swearing.
-For swearing.
Lots and lots of swearing.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Yeah. I think you're gonna
have to come right away.
Yeah. Okay. Goodbye.
♪
Woman:
Oh, my God, are you serious?
Sorry.
We're not actually the
That's a kind of cheese.
I cannot believe it's
your first choice.
I'm lactose intolerant.
Please tell her
she's being unreasonable.
Uh, the system's down.
What's your name?
Maybe we'll use yours.
It's, uh, Tuppence.
It's short for Prudence,
it's a family nickname.
-Oh, that's so
-Lovely.
I can't find anything
for Archie Saint Vincent.
There's not even
a birth certificate.
Try, um Try Malay. Malay.
Um, Vincent was a stage name.
Tommy: Okay, nice.
-Yeah.
-There's a couple.
-Okay. Print them.
-Yep.
Okay, I think we've decided.
I'm afraid we're on a break.
-I'm so sorry.
-Sorry.
Grab 'em and let's go.
Okay, so we have
a birth certificate.
-Mm-hmm.
-Mm. Nothing unusual here.
God, did he look good
for his age.
Tommy: What? What is it?
It's a marriage certificate.
I don't know Archie had
been married before.
Yeah,
but look who was married to.
♪
It wasn't exactly a secret,
just not anybody's
business that we're married.
Sorry. You're still married?
So he was about to be a bigamist?
Well not exactly.
It's just we never got round
to getting a divorce.
Mainly because the tight-fisted
bastard never wanted to pay me
half or sell the house.
Look, it was an arrangement
of sorts.
It was the '90s.
I'm struggling
to see what you got out
of this arrangement, Miranda.
Work. That's what I got.
High-profile work.
As long as I never made a scene.
But then with Gilda,
it was different.
He finally wanted a divorce.
So him asking for a divorce
and getting engaged to Gilda
-a beautiful, talented
-Debatable.
Younger woman
didn't spur you to murder him,
resulting in you
inheriting all of his money
before he could make
her his wife?
Well, when you say it
like that, it does sound bad,
but I honestly had
no hard feelings
towards his upcoming nuptials.
Fine.
I was angry with Archie,
and I hated that parasite, Gilda.
Especially when the silly
girl lost those damn pearls.
Pearls which were once mine,
by the way.
But the reason
I'm still married
The real reason we never got
divorced was because
You still loved him.
And you'd do anything
to be near him.
Miranda: He had this way
of making you feel so special.
That's why I put up with the
hordes of stage-door groupies,
the endless gossip of affairs.
I was happy to take anything
I could get,
even the bloody hand soap.
And now I'll never see him again.
We know that Omar
was digging into Archie's past.
Did he know about the marriage?
Yes, but he never outed us.
Now, we have to be out
of this theatre by tonight,
so if you'll excuse me
Thank you.
♪
It makes you realise, doesn't it,
how people can lose
themselves for love.
Can you look at me or?
To be honest,
we knew it was a long shot.
Okay?
Miranda certainly wasn't the one
that I chased from Miles
last night.
Yeah, it doesn't mean
she didn't hire someone, though.
But we know from before,
with Alice and Sebastian,
that suspects can work together.
True, but as Miranda said,
Omar knew about the marriage,
so that wasn't his
big secret story about Archie.
It was something else.
Yeah, I don't think
you're supposed to steal
condolences for the dead.
"These wretched, eminent things
leave no more fame behind them
than should one fall in a frost
and leave his print in snow.
As soon as the sun shines,
it ever melts."
That's intense.
It's a line from the play
about the bad guy's death.
How he's not noble.
His fame won't precede him.
He's just
He's nothing special.
It's not exactly a rest in peace.
It's more of a good riddance.
Oh, maybe this isn't
from a super fan,
but a super hater.
We just have no way
of knowing who left them.
Hang on, let's have a look.
I think I know
where they bought them.
Tuppence: I'm guessing
you don't have CCTV.
[ Scoffs ]
Tommy:
Okay. Um, well, thanks.
Thanks anyway.
Look.
How about you buy a bunch
for your beautiful girlfriend?
Oh, no, we're not.
And that might just jog
my memory as
to who bought them irises.
♪
She prefers lilies, actually.
[ Card reader beeps ]
There was a woman, young.
She had a tattoo of irises.
I think that's
why she bought them.
She had loads of tattoos,
come to think of it.
Uh purple hair.
[ Knock on door ]
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-You wanted to talk?
Tuppence: Yeah. Please. Thanks.
Mary: Sorry. I was teching
that new show last night.
Haven't had a chance to clean up.
[ Whispers ] So she had an alibi
for last night.
Mary
You wrote this for Archie.
The florist, she
remembered your tattoos.
And?
And you acted
like you were his biggest fan.
I mean, you said you were
desperate to work with him.
That's what you said.
And I did work with him.
And to be honest,
I was disappointed.
He wasn't the man I was
expecting him to be.
Disappointed enough
to make you want to kill him?
No.
He was just [sighs] a let-down.
It wasn't about the art.
It was just reputation,
money, ego.
But no.
I got no reason to kill him
just because he's a cliché,
but I couldn't leave him
with a rest in peace, either.
I thought it was poetic.
Never meet your heroes.
He really was yours, wasn't he?
Look, you're a mega fan.
Was Ssega staying
here last night as well?
Actually he didn't.
No idea where he was.
But I am worried about him.
The show was taking its toll.
Archie was hard to impress.
He did say that Archie
was tough on him.
Mary: On all of us.
I actually think Gilda
was bearing the brunt, you know?
Thanks, Mary.
Oh, and what's the show
you're going on to?
-"Sweeney Todd."
-Nice. Good luck with that.
♪
[ Tommy and Tuppence sigh ]
Hang on.
What if they're just, like,
all working together in some big,
elaborate pearl heist gone wrong?
Even Gilda?
Yeah.
I mean, Mary did just say
that she was bearing
the brunt of Archie's ego.
Okay, so hang on.
What if Gilda found out
that Archie was still married
and was about to be a bigamist?
Okay. Okay, so
So planting the oil
in the lipstick, et cetera,
and making herself the weapon,
that was just, like,
an elaborate double bluff.
Remember when we interviewed her,
she had that tiff with Omar
on the doorstep.
What was that about?
And he said, "You
can't keep ignoring the truth."
Right. The truth about what?
Like, Miranda?
Okay. Alright. Hang on.
What if it's nothing
to do with the marriage
to Miranda?
Forget that.
What if Omar was threatening
Gilda about something else?
Yeah. It's possible.
Poss Yeah.
Let's get those e-mails out.
The ones she was cancelled for.
Let's see who we're dealing with.
Okay.
So this is the website
that the e-mails were
first leaked on.
Just as she was about
to break America.
Total trash, very my vibe.
Okay, here's what she said
about her co-star.
"A talentless tumour that needed
cutting out of the production."
Charming.
Big Bad Hype.
This is the website.
Yeah.
I've seen that somewhere.
Hang on.
I think it was
in Omar's obituary.
Omar Bevington, here we go.
"Omar had a varied
journalistic career,
briefly launching an
entertainment gossip site"
Both: "Big Bad Hype."
Wait, wait.
So Omar was the first
to out Gilda,
but Archie still invites him
to the theatre
to write about their new show?
What if
Hear me out.
Archie leaked the e-mails
to Omar,
and that's what the NDA was
about?
Yeah,
but why would Archie do that?
Because some men, sadly, have
a problem with powerful women.
She was about to supersede him,
and he wanted to cancel her.
I thought I had
relationship troubles.
Right. What would you do
if you found out
that your fiancée was
not only married,
but had destroyed your career,
only to be the one
to kick-start it?
It's the ultimate power move.
I mean, I'd fucking kill him.
I'd kill him.
-Yeah.
-Let's go. Come on.
You think I killed Archie
because he leaked
those terrible e-mails?
And then what? Killed Omar
for good measure?
Right.
Let me explain something to you.
This is the first play
I saw Archie in
over 30 years ago.
I was a newbie, all excited.
He had everyone
in the palm of his hand.
It was magic.
Then years later,
I met him and we fell in love.
And then we make
this show together.
And then he invites Omar, the
man who had destroyed my career,
to write about the Duchess.
I was stunned.
I went and talked to Omar.
He was so annoyed with Archie.
He told me
that the leak had come from him.
I didn't want to believe it,
but Archie looked so guilty
when I confronted him.
You were angry.
At the dress rehearsal,
I saw that you shrugged him off.
I was, but I'm a professional
and I needed the show to go on.
It was the only chance
to get back to that magic.
It was also the chance
I had to outshine him.
A much better revenge.
So why on earth would I kill him?
Where were you last night?
Here. Alone. Grieving.
He may have been a bastard,
but he was still my fiancé.
Would you still have married him?
Oh, he was already married.
Didn't you know?
The lawyers told me yesterday.
This is all Miranda's now.
Good for her.
[ Tommy sighs ]
Well, that was
another insight into Archie's
sordid little life.
Let's just say
his Wikipedia page needs
a few little amendments.
Just don't get it.
I just thought he was different.
I genuinely thought
he was one of the good guys.
Yeah, well,
I hate to say I told you so.
Yeah, but you don't.
You love it, don't you?
Oh, God.
We're just going round
in circles.
And someone is lying
about what happened last night.
Listen, why don't
we slow down a bit, hmm?
You look like you need a break.
Stop telling me what to do, please.
Can't help caring about you.
Please don't do this right now.
Please don't do this.
What? And just keep ignoring
this massive thing
that's happened between us.
Really?
-[ Mobile phone ringing ]
-Oh, for fuck's sake.
Tuppence, I know
I know you're avoidant,
but this is just a joke.
I have to go.
You know,
you can talk to me about this.
You can talk to me.
We're not at university anymore.
-We're adults.
-I know we're adults.
Don't you think I know
we're adults?
My husband wants a divorce,
Tommy.
And you're right.
We're not at uni anymore.
-I have a proper grown-up life.
-I know.
And I just don't know
that I can implode it for you.
Well, I'm not the one who
keeps trying to do exactly that.
Oh, fuck!
Where are you going?
[ Engine starts ]
♪
So no Tuppence this evening?
Nope.
-Her husband's in town.
-Ahh.
That's all very drama,
as they say.
Yeah.
Just as the case is getting
pretty difficult.
Mmm.
I mean, after all,
another person's dead.
And I find that once a killer
gets a taste for these things,
the body count can
really rack up.
They nearly got Tuppence.
She likes a bit of risk,
doesn't she?
Ahh. Yeah.
No matter who gets hurt
in the process.
You are allowed one more
cocktail's worth of wallowing.
Deal?
Deal.
You're feeling jealous, I get it.
You know what can help?
Just stirring in a little
complication of your own.
[ Mobile phone dings ]
♪
Thanks, Ada.
As usual,
you're right about everything.
Well, duh.
Now I must get back to a little
puzzle I've been working on.
♪
Thank you for agreeing to talk.
Yeah. You're welcome.
Got a lot of work
to do on the case,
but, you know, needed to eat,
so here we are.
Did you have time
to look over the settlement?
We can get the ball rolling
on this as soon as you like.
God, you're an absolute prick.
You knew that this
would confuse me, didn't you?
You knew that it would force me
to have to
Julian: To make a decision.
You know, to tell me what
you're feeling and thinking.
Yeah.
Forgive me if I'm a little
confused here, Tuppence,
okay, but you did run away
without saying anything.
And then you ghosted me
for a month.
So you like ultimatums.
So that's what I'm here
giving you.
I I just
I just wanted things
to change between us.
-I just wanted you to
-To what? To fight?
Yes. To fight.
Yeah, to fight.
Actually fight.
Or throw in the towel.
And then I could
just blame it all on you.
Wow.
London's made you honest.
I've been talking to people
all day about secrets.
They don't tend to end well.
Julian:
Okay, so which should I do?
Should I fight
or should I throw in the towel?
And how worried should I be
about this Tommy guy?
So you do know his name?
Of course I know who he is.
You reread his books every year.
I just didn't like hearing
from your sister
that you're now living together.
You're running around
solving crimes
like some kind of Shaggy
and Scooby-Doo.
Fred and Daphne, more like.
-That's much better.
-It's not the point, is it?
It's not the point.
The point is that I'm
not myself in L.A.,
and you don't even notice.
You don't even notice.
All you do is work
all the time.
I get carried away, okay?
And I am sorry.
No, you you talked about
God.
You talked about, like,
leading-lady energy.
-That's why you married me.
-Okay.
I've just become this
I don't know, sidekick or
Hey.
Okay, okay.
Alright, so what we do is
we set you up some meetings.
I will make some calls.
No! Julius, I don't want
you to buy my career.
I want to do it myself,
like I have been doing.
With Blunt's Brilliant
Detectives with Tommy?
Yes! With Tommy. Yes.
Okay. Yes.
He's an ex, okay.
He's He's a very distant ex.
And it's not We're not
Because hiding in the past
would be a very,
very Tuppence thing to do.
I just think
we should get a drink.
Shall we get a drink?
Albert,
a couple of G&T's, please.
Hey. I-I love you,
but if you're not happy
you just sign the papers
and I'll leave for good.
♪
Thank you.
I like your scarf.
Haven't seen you
wear that before.
Since when do you wear a scarf?
-Since a guy called Igor.
-It's a great scarf.
Can we have one second, please,
to finish this conversation?
I'll make these doubles.
Thank you.
♪
[ Whispers ] Psst. Tommy.
Act like you don't know me.
Okay.
Yeah.
Peanut oil was in the lipstick.
You guys were right.
We owe you one.
Okay, great. Thanks.
Is that
I mean, should I go now,
or is this the point where you
hand me the secret briefcase?
Sorry.
I thought it'd be cute.
-It was a reference.
-To DI Dashford.
Yeah, no, I got it.
It was cute.
So I thought I could tell
you something as a thank you.
Okay. Yeah. Go on.
Omar was working
on a story about Archie.
We know. Yeah.
He wanted Archie to sign an NDA.
Well, we obtained
a copy of the certificate
he ordered for his story.
The one that tells us he was
married to Miranda.
No. Wait. What?
He was married to Miranda?
Yeah.
God, that guy really was
a piece of work.
No, sorry. No, that's
That's not the certificate
we intercepted at the flat.
Got you a copy.
I mean,
we're still looking into it,
but I thought maybe
you could do something with it.
Please don't tell anyone
about this.
Obviously. I mean, it really
It could cost me my job.
Of course. Yeah. Thank you.
I should go, but, um
This was fun.
Yeah.
Uh, well,
maybe next time we could
we could do it inside,
like a pub, maybe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd like that.
Okay, cool.
Um I'll text you.
Cool.
Yeah. Um
-Bye, Tommy.
-Bye, Draper.
♪
Are you feeling better?
Yes. Much.
Well, at least
you haven't taken it off.
What?
Julian: Your wedding ring.
We're good together.
Yeah, we were good.
Yeah. So we can try again.
Don't we owe that to ourselves?
You're not a quitter.
You never have been.
-And I
-Tommy: Hey.
-Tuppence: Tommy.
-Yeah, Timmy.
Nice of you to join us.
Can I get you a drink?
Read this. It's from Draper.
She gave it to me.
-To us.
-Thank goodness for groupies.
Well, speaking of groupies,
it's the certificate
that Omar ordered
from the registry office.
It's not about Miranda.
This was the dirt
he had on Archie.
It's a death certificate, and
it's nothing to do with Archie.
It's about a woman.
Not just any woman.
Read the name.
-Oh, my God.
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God. Wait.
They're all gonna be
at the theatre tonight,
aren't they, doing the get-out?
Tommy: Yeah,
but just because we know who
doesn't mean we know how.
♪
I think I know
I think I know how to prove it.
We have to go now.
We have to go now.
Albert, can you give us your
shit test bottle of whisky?
-Albert: Always.
-Can I can I come?
-Probably not.
-Yeah, fine. Yeah, yeah.
♪
You know the rules.
They're all here. Perfect.
Who's the new guy?
Uh, work experience.
Uh, Marvin,
could you pop the intercom on?
I have a message
for the cast and crew.
And who made you boss?
That's a call for everyone
to the stage, please.
A call for everyone
to the stage, please.
Now go get 'em, Poirot.
Mary.
Uh, would you care to join us?
Sure.
♪
Uh, what's this about?
What's going on?
-And
-Marvin?
Tuppence: Great. We're all here.
Um we knew you'd all be here
for a final time,
and we just wanted to do
something special for Archie.
We just wanted to commemorate
what a huge inspiration he was.
Yeah.
Uh to Archie.
-To Archie.
-Archie.
[ Coughing ]
Oh, wow.
That's a really bad whisky.
And, uh, we know who killed him.
Him and Omar.
-Who?
-Tuppence: You're right, Ssega.
That is really
gross-tasting whisky.
It's actually a type
of peanut whisky.
That's a bit of a low blow.
Mary: Sorry, sorry.
Um, Mary, you're looking
a little bit puffy.
Did you know that if one of your
parents is allergic to nuts,
then you have a higher chance
of also being allergic?
What the fuck have you done?
Tuppence:
Except that I'm bluffing.
This is just shit-tasting whisky.
No peanuts, I promise.
Miranda: Wait.
One of your parents.
So Archie was your father?
[ Laughs ] So what?
That doesn't give me any reason
to kill him.
No, it doesn't, but
this is your reason.
This is a death certificate
for Iris Ventnor.
You have a tattoo of irises
on your arm.
You left irises for Archie.
-So?
-Because Iris was your mum.
You talked about a mum
who hung out at stage doors
-in love with the theatre.
-The ticket to Macbeth.
Yeah, please.
Bit late for superstition now.
The ticket on your corkboard.
I wondered why it kept irking
me. And then
And then I got it.
Thanks to you, Gilda.
You talked about being a newbie,
watching Archie
in that production.
So you, Mary, you weren't born.
That was Iris's ticket.
Your mum's ticket.
Iris met Archie in
this very theatre 30 years ago
and had you.
Tommy:
Isn't that right, Miranda?
After all, you spoke
about having to share Archie
throughout your
marriage, rumours.
But lots of women
claimed they had his kids.
Lots of them were lying.
He said he never wanted children.
You You took his DNA, right?
A hair from a costume, maybe.
And you sent it off for testing.
That post
that Marvin reprimanded you for.
Do you remember?
That arrived the day before.
And I'm guessing
that that was the DNA results.
Yeah. And those results
confirmed exactly what
your mum told you
before she died.
And you took them to Archie,
and you were hoping for
a beautiful homecoming.
But he did not react
well at all, did he?
Once a bully, always a bully.
-This means nothing!
-Archie, it's right there.
You are fucking delusional!
He
He was cruel.
[ Sighs ]
Yeah. You were angry at
how he reacted.
And you realised what
everyone else had.
That Archie wasn't a hero.
He was a nightmare.
So I didn't get a hug.
Boo-hoo.
-I didn't kill the guy for that.
-No, it wasn't just that.
Pearls.
This will start with the pearls.
You know, I always wondered
why he hired us.
I mean, come on.
Like, he could afford
to go for an elite service,
but it's because this wasn't
This wasn't a real robbery.
He was using the pearls
to frame you, to get rid of you.
So he planted them on you.
And I am guessing
that you you found them
-[ Gasps ]
-that morning
and hid them before we got there.
Do you know what? I think
I think I know where.
The sticky hands.
You had sticky hands the day
we met.
Soap.
♪
The cheap hand soap
he bought you guys as a present.
♪
Right. So now you're pissed.
And now you really want revenge.
You pretended
to microwave some oats
so you could actually
sabotage Archie's EpiPens.
Extreme heat does the trick.
It denatures them.
Then you used Gilda's
usual drink order
as an opportunity to go
and buy peanut butter.
Right? Any corner shop.
So you snuck in.
You planted the peanut oil
on Gilda's lipstick,
spilling a little bit
in the process,
giving yourself hives because
you share your dad's allergy.
You're the one
that Gilda was talking about
when she said
that there were other people
in the cast with allergies.
So then you had to hide
the hives.
Hence the wristband you're
suddenly wearing in rehearsals.
Even though you were able to
carry the set out of the theatre
the very next day.
That's because the wristband
wasn't for an injury.
It was to cover the rash.
And then it was showtime.
And all you had to do
was wait for the kiss.
-[ Gasping ]
-Woman: Get his EpiPen!
You bitch!
You made me kill him.
-What did I ever do to you?
-Oh! Fuck's sake, Gilda.
Maybe this isn't actually
about you for once.
Night of the murder,
you were the one
that broke in through the window
and stole the DNA results
from Archie's dressing room,
because they were the only thing
left that pointed to you.
♪
But then there was Omar,
who knew something he shouldn't.
Yeah.
And your alibi didn't check out.
You weren't in a single
production of "Sweeney Todd"
in the entire country.
I made a lot of calls.
Omar messages me.
You overheard Archie
and I arguing.
Archie:
You're fucking delusional!
♪
Always hanging around,
desperate for gossip.
He wanted to tell the world
what Archie was really like.
And anything he said
would make you a very,
very obvious suspect.
So I had to do what I had to do.
♪
And you came running after me
like some budget Lara Croft.
And pushing me
down the stairs was what?
Covering my bases.
You know,
you shouldn't have got me down
when I was working
on the lighting rig.
Those things can be
really dangerous.
-Heads!
-Aah!
-No!
-Oh, my God!
I don't think so!
Get off, get off, get off!
Mary Ventnor,
you're being arrested
on suspicion of the murder
of Archie St. Vincent
and Omar Bevington.
[ Laughing ]
I can't believe it.
Oh, my gosh.
-Oh.
-[ Sighs ]
Well, you were amazing in there.
You were amazing in there.
Oh, my God.
Tommy, the bit with the pearls.
[ Both laughing ]
Oh.
Do you think we're, like,
actually really good at this?
Yeah.
[ Police radio chatter ]
About earlier
so sorry for storming off.
It's fine.
We're fine.
Are we?
[ Door opens ]
Oh, my God. Tuppence.
You were
You were sensational.
I-I mean,
pure main-character energy.
I mean, just as it should be.
You helped.
Yeah, well
She's right.
It was a great tackle.
-Cheers, mate.
-Well, what do you say?
Drinks to celebrate?
They're on me.
Uh
I think, um
I think I'm gonna head home.
Julian: Okay.
What about you, Tuppence?
Where is home?
Narrator: And so, my lovelies,
I give you another cliffhanger
of sorts.
Not quite life or death,
but perhaps just as important.
♪
Love, after all,
is something people kill for.
♪
And love, like a play
is all about fantasy.
The future we want to see
rather than the past
we wish to forget.
♪
But perhaps it's time
we strayed from our leads
and instead focused
on the real star of the show.
Me.
After all,
there's a murder afoot.
♪
Turns out nowhere is safe
♪
and no one either.
♪
[ Cap unscrewing ]
[ Liquid pouring ]
♪
It might be time
for my final bow.
♪
♪
Narrator: Where were we?
Aah!
♪
Narrator: Ahh, yes.
Our cliff hanger.
It was rather a dramatic one.
Tommy: Oh, my God.
Narrator: I'll let you get on,
shall I?
Tuppence? Tuppence?
Ohh.
[ Breathing heavily ]
♪
[ Inhales sharply ]
[ Groaning ]
You alright?
That was a really long,
horrible night.
Yeah. That's why I didn't wanna
move you, in case I woke you.
Mm.
Cup of tea?
Thank you.
And painkiller.
Thanks.
[ Sighs ]
Tuppence:
Omar wasn't our murderer.
And to think
to think that this all started
with some missing pearls.
But what did he know
that got him killed?
Well, Archie said that Omar was
overstepping the mark
when it came to finding a story.
So maybe that story was
about our murderer?
Yeah, sadly we can't ask him
what he was working on,
can we?
Actually, uh
when I was in Omar's flat,
I, um
did something
that was a little illegal.
-Yes. Go on.
-[ Both laugh ]
Well, he had he had
a voice-mail on his watch.
-Mm-hmm.
-And
[clears throat]
maybe I pressed play.
I'm oddly proud of you.
It was something
about a document,
-from a registry office.
-Okay.
Oh.
[ Clears throat ]
Okay.
Registry office.
So, like
a birth or death or a marriage?
Yeah. Maybe it was
Maybe it was part
of Omar's research into Archie.
It's a stretch, but
that's all we have.
Yeah.
Well, then we have to chase it.
[ Inhales sharply ]
Listen
are you sure you want to
keep going, Tuppence?
Perhaps we should stop.
N-No.
This just got really,
really personal.
You know, for a moment
I saw you, um[clears throat]
-I thought, um
-Hmm?
No, no, no.
I'm not.
I'm fine.
Hey, Tommy.
[ Breathes deeply ]
♪
Sorry. Sorry.
♪
[ Knock on door ]
Julius: Hello?
[ Knocking continues ]
Hey, Tuppence?
Fuck!
Oh, my God, that's Julius.
[ Knocking continues ]
Oh, fuck!
Coming!
Oh, fuck! [ Sighs ]
[ Knocking continues ]
Hey!
Tuppence: Hey! Julius.
I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting something?
You know, when your
sister told me that you started
an amateur private
detective agency with an ex,
I thought it was code
for a mental breakdown.
[ Laughs ]
The two aren't
mutually exclusive.
Hey, what happened here?
You okay?
Uh, yeah. I fell.
I mean, well, actually, I was
pushed by a murderous intruder.
Hazards of the job.
Here I thought acting was full
of backstabbers.
This is some great tea,
by the way.
-Uh, Timmy, was it?
-Um, it's Tommy.
Sure. Yeah.
Listen, maybe now is
not a great time to talk.
You know, if there's
a murderer on the loose.
No. It's not.
We've actually got
quite a lot of work to, um,
-to crack on with.
-Yeah.
No, I saw the, uh,
scary-sounding registry.
Can you not touch that, please?
Thanks. Um,
so I was thinking, right,
what if we just waited to see
if
if whatever Omar ordered
from the registry office
was still delivered to his place?
Can we afford to wait that long
when the murderer is
still out there?
I mean
Yeah.
Maybe we can talk later.
Sure. Yeah.
I just wanted to drop these off.
I was gonna send an e-mail,
but it just felt too impersonal,
so I, uh, I printed them off
for you.
Divorce papers. Sorry.
You came all the way from America
to give me divorce papers.
I'm sticking around for a bit.
I'm trying to find
a director for that movie
with Harry styles.
Of course, of course.
Two birds, one stone.
Fucking convenient.
-That's not
-No? It's not
I'm, uh, staying
at the Radcliffe.
Room 209.
Your favourite.
When you want to talk.
Tim.
♪
So that's Julius.
He's, uh
He's tall.
Should we talk about
what happened?
Let's just get on with the case.
♪
We are not naming her
after your mum's hygienist.
-Why?
-Because it's ridiculous.
Okay, here we are.
Births, deaths and
Marriages.
Um, let's find Mrs. Asante.
♪
Wait until I call next.
-Sorry.
-Sorry.
Next.
Tuppence: Hi.
Um, so, my friend here,
-Omar Bevington
-How you doing?
He ordered a certificate
from your archive,
and we wondered
if we could just pop by today
and grab a hard copy
Now, if that's okay.
You're Omar Bevington, are you?
Yes.
Clerk: The dead guy?
Sorry.
God, did I say he's Omar B
What I meant was
we work for Omar,
and it's obviously
really terribly sad,
and we feel like we need to, um,
to finish, um, his work.
It's Was his dying wish.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Oh, we need to get access
to that computer.
We need to find
some kind of a distraction.
So her son goes to
Saint Cormac's.
I noticed the logo on the mug,
and then the photo on her desk
is a school around here.
Okay, great.
So now all we need
is her phone number.
Which I also have, strangely.
Oh, okay. See.
207942
932. Okay.
[ Line rings ]
What do I do? Wait.
Do an accent.
Hello?
Is that Mrs. Asante?
Hi. Yeah, I'm calling from
Saint Cormac secondary School.
Yeah.
Um, I'm afraid you're
gonna have to come
and collect your son.
Yeah. Um, because, uh
-He's been suspended.
-He's been suspended.
What for?
-Swearing.
-For swearing.
Lots and lots of swearing.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Yeah. I think you're gonna
have to come right away.
Yeah. Okay. Goodbye.
♪
Woman:
Oh, my God, are you serious?
Sorry.
We're not actually the
That's a kind of cheese.
I cannot believe it's
your first choice.
I'm lactose intolerant.
Please tell her
she's being unreasonable.
Uh, the system's down.
What's your name?
Maybe we'll use yours.
It's, uh, Tuppence.
It's short for Prudence,
it's a family nickname.
-Oh, that's so
-Lovely.
I can't find anything
for Archie Saint Vincent.
There's not even
a birth certificate.
Try, um Try Malay. Malay.
Um, Vincent was a stage name.
Tommy: Okay, nice.
-Yeah.
-There's a couple.
-Okay. Print them.
-Yep.
Okay, I think we've decided.
I'm afraid we're on a break.
-I'm so sorry.
-Sorry.
Grab 'em and let's go.
Okay, so we have
a birth certificate.
-Mm-hmm.
-Mm. Nothing unusual here.
God, did he look good
for his age.
Tommy: What? What is it?
It's a marriage certificate.
I don't know Archie had
been married before.
Yeah,
but look who was married to.
♪
It wasn't exactly a secret,
just not anybody's
business that we're married.
Sorry. You're still married?
So he was about to be a bigamist?
Well not exactly.
It's just we never got round
to getting a divorce.
Mainly because the tight-fisted
bastard never wanted to pay me
half or sell the house.
Look, it was an arrangement
of sorts.
It was the '90s.
I'm struggling
to see what you got out
of this arrangement, Miranda.
Work. That's what I got.
High-profile work.
As long as I never made a scene.
But then with Gilda,
it was different.
He finally wanted a divorce.
So him asking for a divorce
and getting engaged to Gilda
-a beautiful, talented
-Debatable.
Younger woman
didn't spur you to murder him,
resulting in you
inheriting all of his money
before he could make
her his wife?
Well, when you say it
like that, it does sound bad,
but I honestly had
no hard feelings
towards his upcoming nuptials.
Fine.
I was angry with Archie,
and I hated that parasite, Gilda.
Especially when the silly
girl lost those damn pearls.
Pearls which were once mine,
by the way.
But the reason
I'm still married
The real reason we never got
divorced was because
You still loved him.
And you'd do anything
to be near him.
Miranda: He had this way
of making you feel so special.
That's why I put up with the
hordes of stage-door groupies,
the endless gossip of affairs.
I was happy to take anything
I could get,
even the bloody hand soap.
And now I'll never see him again.
We know that Omar
was digging into Archie's past.
Did he know about the marriage?
Yes, but he never outed us.
Now, we have to be out
of this theatre by tonight,
so if you'll excuse me
Thank you.
♪
It makes you realise, doesn't it,
how people can lose
themselves for love.
Can you look at me or?
To be honest,
we knew it was a long shot.
Okay?
Miranda certainly wasn't the one
that I chased from Miles
last night.
Yeah, it doesn't mean
she didn't hire someone, though.
But we know from before,
with Alice and Sebastian,
that suspects can work together.
True, but as Miranda said,
Omar knew about the marriage,
so that wasn't his
big secret story about Archie.
It was something else.
Yeah, I don't think
you're supposed to steal
condolences for the dead.
"These wretched, eminent things
leave no more fame behind them
than should one fall in a frost
and leave his print in snow.
As soon as the sun shines,
it ever melts."
That's intense.
It's a line from the play
about the bad guy's death.
How he's not noble.
His fame won't precede him.
He's just
He's nothing special.
It's not exactly a rest in peace.
It's more of a good riddance.
Oh, maybe this isn't
from a super fan,
but a super hater.
We just have no way
of knowing who left them.
Hang on, let's have a look.
I think I know
where they bought them.
Tuppence: I'm guessing
you don't have CCTV.
[ Scoffs ]
Tommy:
Okay. Um, well, thanks.
Thanks anyway.
Look.
How about you buy a bunch
for your beautiful girlfriend?
Oh, no, we're not.
And that might just jog
my memory as
to who bought them irises.
♪
She prefers lilies, actually.
[ Card reader beeps ]
There was a woman, young.
She had a tattoo of irises.
I think that's
why she bought them.
She had loads of tattoos,
come to think of it.
Uh purple hair.
[ Knock on door ]
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-You wanted to talk?
Tuppence: Yeah. Please. Thanks.
Mary: Sorry. I was teching
that new show last night.
Haven't had a chance to clean up.
[ Whispers ] So she had an alibi
for last night.
Mary
You wrote this for Archie.
The florist, she
remembered your tattoos.
And?
And you acted
like you were his biggest fan.
I mean, you said you were
desperate to work with him.
That's what you said.
And I did work with him.
And to be honest,
I was disappointed.
He wasn't the man I was
expecting him to be.
Disappointed enough
to make you want to kill him?
No.
He was just [sighs] a let-down.
It wasn't about the art.
It was just reputation,
money, ego.
But no.
I got no reason to kill him
just because he's a cliché,
but I couldn't leave him
with a rest in peace, either.
I thought it was poetic.
Never meet your heroes.
He really was yours, wasn't he?
Look, you're a mega fan.
Was Ssega staying
here last night as well?
Actually he didn't.
No idea where he was.
But I am worried about him.
The show was taking its toll.
Archie was hard to impress.
He did say that Archie
was tough on him.
Mary: On all of us.
I actually think Gilda
was bearing the brunt, you know?
Thanks, Mary.
Oh, and what's the show
you're going on to?
-"Sweeney Todd."
-Nice. Good luck with that.
♪
[ Tommy and Tuppence sigh ]
Hang on.
What if they're just, like,
all working together in some big,
elaborate pearl heist gone wrong?
Even Gilda?
Yeah.
I mean, Mary did just say
that she was bearing
the brunt of Archie's ego.
Okay, so hang on.
What if Gilda found out
that Archie was still married
and was about to be a bigamist?
Okay. Okay, so
So planting the oil
in the lipstick, et cetera,
and making herself the weapon,
that was just, like,
an elaborate double bluff.
Remember when we interviewed her,
she had that tiff with Omar
on the doorstep.
What was that about?
And he said, "You
can't keep ignoring the truth."
Right. The truth about what?
Like, Miranda?
Okay. Alright. Hang on.
What if it's nothing
to do with the marriage
to Miranda?
Forget that.
What if Omar was threatening
Gilda about something else?
Yeah. It's possible.
Poss Yeah.
Let's get those e-mails out.
The ones she was cancelled for.
Let's see who we're dealing with.
Okay.
So this is the website
that the e-mails were
first leaked on.
Just as she was about
to break America.
Total trash, very my vibe.
Okay, here's what she said
about her co-star.
"A talentless tumour that needed
cutting out of the production."
Charming.
Big Bad Hype.
This is the website.
Yeah.
I've seen that somewhere.
Hang on.
I think it was
in Omar's obituary.
Omar Bevington, here we go.
"Omar had a varied
journalistic career,
briefly launching an
entertainment gossip site"
Both: "Big Bad Hype."
Wait, wait.
So Omar was the first
to out Gilda,
but Archie still invites him
to the theatre
to write about their new show?
What if
Hear me out.
Archie leaked the e-mails
to Omar,
and that's what the NDA was
about?
Yeah,
but why would Archie do that?
Because some men, sadly, have
a problem with powerful women.
She was about to supersede him,
and he wanted to cancel her.
I thought I had
relationship troubles.
Right. What would you do
if you found out
that your fiancée was
not only married,
but had destroyed your career,
only to be the one
to kick-start it?
It's the ultimate power move.
I mean, I'd fucking kill him.
I'd kill him.
-Yeah.
-Let's go. Come on.
You think I killed Archie
because he leaked
those terrible e-mails?
And then what? Killed Omar
for good measure?
Right.
Let me explain something to you.
This is the first play
I saw Archie in
over 30 years ago.
I was a newbie, all excited.
He had everyone
in the palm of his hand.
It was magic.
Then years later,
I met him and we fell in love.
And then we make
this show together.
And then he invites Omar, the
man who had destroyed my career,
to write about the Duchess.
I was stunned.
I went and talked to Omar.
He was so annoyed with Archie.
He told me
that the leak had come from him.
I didn't want to believe it,
but Archie looked so guilty
when I confronted him.
You were angry.
At the dress rehearsal,
I saw that you shrugged him off.
I was, but I'm a professional
and I needed the show to go on.
It was the only chance
to get back to that magic.
It was also the chance
I had to outshine him.
A much better revenge.
So why on earth would I kill him?
Where were you last night?
Here. Alone. Grieving.
He may have been a bastard,
but he was still my fiancé.
Would you still have married him?
Oh, he was already married.
Didn't you know?
The lawyers told me yesterday.
This is all Miranda's now.
Good for her.
[ Tommy sighs ]
Well, that was
another insight into Archie's
sordid little life.
Let's just say
his Wikipedia page needs
a few little amendments.
Just don't get it.
I just thought he was different.
I genuinely thought
he was one of the good guys.
Yeah, well,
I hate to say I told you so.
Yeah, but you don't.
You love it, don't you?
Oh, God.
We're just going round
in circles.
And someone is lying
about what happened last night.
Listen, why don't
we slow down a bit, hmm?
You look like you need a break.
Stop telling me what to do, please.
Can't help caring about you.
Please don't do this right now.
Please don't do this.
What? And just keep ignoring
this massive thing
that's happened between us.
Really?
-[ Mobile phone ringing ]
-Oh, for fuck's sake.
Tuppence, I know
I know you're avoidant,
but this is just a joke.
I have to go.
You know,
you can talk to me about this.
You can talk to me.
We're not at university anymore.
-We're adults.
-I know we're adults.
Don't you think I know
we're adults?
My husband wants a divorce,
Tommy.
And you're right.
We're not at uni anymore.
-I have a proper grown-up life.
-I know.
And I just don't know
that I can implode it for you.
Well, I'm not the one who
keeps trying to do exactly that.
Oh, fuck!
Where are you going?
[ Engine starts ]
♪
So no Tuppence this evening?
Nope.
-Her husband's in town.
-Ahh.
That's all very drama,
as they say.
Yeah.
Just as the case is getting
pretty difficult.
Mmm.
I mean, after all,
another person's dead.
And I find that once a killer
gets a taste for these things,
the body count can
really rack up.
They nearly got Tuppence.
She likes a bit of risk,
doesn't she?
Ahh. Yeah.
No matter who gets hurt
in the process.
You are allowed one more
cocktail's worth of wallowing.
Deal?
Deal.
You're feeling jealous, I get it.
You know what can help?
Just stirring in a little
complication of your own.
[ Mobile phone dings ]
♪
Thanks, Ada.
As usual,
you're right about everything.
Well, duh.
Now I must get back to a little
puzzle I've been working on.
♪
Thank you for agreeing to talk.
Yeah. You're welcome.
Got a lot of work
to do on the case,
but, you know, needed to eat,
so here we are.
Did you have time
to look over the settlement?
We can get the ball rolling
on this as soon as you like.
God, you're an absolute prick.
You knew that this
would confuse me, didn't you?
You knew that it would force me
to have to
Julian: To make a decision.
You know, to tell me what
you're feeling and thinking.
Yeah.
Forgive me if I'm a little
confused here, Tuppence,
okay, but you did run away
without saying anything.
And then you ghosted me
for a month.
So you like ultimatums.
So that's what I'm here
giving you.
I I just
I just wanted things
to change between us.
-I just wanted you to
-To what? To fight?
Yes. To fight.
Yeah, to fight.
Actually fight.
Or throw in the towel.
And then I could
just blame it all on you.
Wow.
London's made you honest.
I've been talking to people
all day about secrets.
They don't tend to end well.
Julian:
Okay, so which should I do?
Should I fight
or should I throw in the towel?
And how worried should I be
about this Tommy guy?
So you do know his name?
Of course I know who he is.
You reread his books every year.
I just didn't like hearing
from your sister
that you're now living together.
You're running around
solving crimes
like some kind of Shaggy
and Scooby-Doo.
Fred and Daphne, more like.
-That's much better.
-It's not the point, is it?
It's not the point.
The point is that I'm
not myself in L.A.,
and you don't even notice.
You don't even notice.
All you do is work
all the time.
I get carried away, okay?
And I am sorry.
No, you you talked about
God.
You talked about, like,
leading-lady energy.
-That's why you married me.
-Okay.
I've just become this
I don't know, sidekick or
Hey.
Okay, okay.
Alright, so what we do is
we set you up some meetings.
I will make some calls.
No! Julius, I don't want
you to buy my career.
I want to do it myself,
like I have been doing.
With Blunt's Brilliant
Detectives with Tommy?
Yes! With Tommy. Yes.
Okay. Yes.
He's an ex, okay.
He's He's a very distant ex.
And it's not We're not
Because hiding in the past
would be a very,
very Tuppence thing to do.
I just think
we should get a drink.
Shall we get a drink?
Albert,
a couple of G&T's, please.
Hey. I-I love you,
but if you're not happy
you just sign the papers
and I'll leave for good.
♪
Thank you.
I like your scarf.
Haven't seen you
wear that before.
Since when do you wear a scarf?
-Since a guy called Igor.
-It's a great scarf.
Can we have one second, please,
to finish this conversation?
I'll make these doubles.
Thank you.
♪
[ Whispers ] Psst. Tommy.
Act like you don't know me.
Okay.
Yeah.
Peanut oil was in the lipstick.
You guys were right.
We owe you one.
Okay, great. Thanks.
Is that
I mean, should I go now,
or is this the point where you
hand me the secret briefcase?
Sorry.
I thought it'd be cute.
-It was a reference.
-To DI Dashford.
Yeah, no, I got it.
It was cute.
So I thought I could tell
you something as a thank you.
Okay. Yeah. Go on.
Omar was working
on a story about Archie.
We know. Yeah.
He wanted Archie to sign an NDA.
Well, we obtained
a copy of the certificate
he ordered for his story.
The one that tells us he was
married to Miranda.
No. Wait. What?
He was married to Miranda?
Yeah.
God, that guy really was
a piece of work.
No, sorry. No, that's
That's not the certificate
we intercepted at the flat.
Got you a copy.
I mean,
we're still looking into it,
but I thought maybe
you could do something with it.
Please don't tell anyone
about this.
Obviously. I mean, it really
It could cost me my job.
Of course. Yeah. Thank you.
I should go, but, um
This was fun.
Yeah.
Uh, well,
maybe next time we could
we could do it inside,
like a pub, maybe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd like that.
Okay, cool.
Um I'll text you.
Cool.
Yeah. Um
-Bye, Tommy.
-Bye, Draper.
♪
Are you feeling better?
Yes. Much.
Well, at least
you haven't taken it off.
What?
Julian: Your wedding ring.
We're good together.
Yeah, we were good.
Yeah. So we can try again.
Don't we owe that to ourselves?
You're not a quitter.
You never have been.
-And I
-Tommy: Hey.
-Tuppence: Tommy.
-Yeah, Timmy.
Nice of you to join us.
Can I get you a drink?
Read this. It's from Draper.
She gave it to me.
-To us.
-Thank goodness for groupies.
Well, speaking of groupies,
it's the certificate
that Omar ordered
from the registry office.
It's not about Miranda.
This was the dirt
he had on Archie.
It's a death certificate, and
it's nothing to do with Archie.
It's about a woman.
Not just any woman.
Read the name.
-Oh, my God.
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God. Wait.
They're all gonna be
at the theatre tonight,
aren't they, doing the get-out?
Tommy: Yeah,
but just because we know who
doesn't mean we know how.
♪
I think I know
I think I know how to prove it.
We have to go now.
We have to go now.
Albert, can you give us your
shit test bottle of whisky?
-Albert: Always.
-Can I can I come?
-Probably not.
-Yeah, fine. Yeah, yeah.
♪
You know the rules.
They're all here. Perfect.
Who's the new guy?
Uh, work experience.
Uh, Marvin,
could you pop the intercom on?
I have a message
for the cast and crew.
And who made you boss?
That's a call for everyone
to the stage, please.
A call for everyone
to the stage, please.
Now go get 'em, Poirot.
Mary.
Uh, would you care to join us?
Sure.
♪
Uh, what's this about?
What's going on?
-And
-Marvin?
Tuppence: Great. We're all here.
Um we knew you'd all be here
for a final time,
and we just wanted to do
something special for Archie.
We just wanted to commemorate
what a huge inspiration he was.
Yeah.
Uh to Archie.
-To Archie.
-Archie.
[ Coughing ]
Oh, wow.
That's a really bad whisky.
And, uh, we know who killed him.
Him and Omar.
-Who?
-Tuppence: You're right, Ssega.
That is really
gross-tasting whisky.
It's actually a type
of peanut whisky.
That's a bit of a low blow.
Mary: Sorry, sorry.
Um, Mary, you're looking
a little bit puffy.
Did you know that if one of your
parents is allergic to nuts,
then you have a higher chance
of also being allergic?
What the fuck have you done?
Tuppence:
Except that I'm bluffing.
This is just shit-tasting whisky.
No peanuts, I promise.
Miranda: Wait.
One of your parents.
So Archie was your father?
[ Laughs ] So what?
That doesn't give me any reason
to kill him.
No, it doesn't, but
this is your reason.
This is a death certificate
for Iris Ventnor.
You have a tattoo of irises
on your arm.
You left irises for Archie.
-So?
-Because Iris was your mum.
You talked about a mum
who hung out at stage doors
-in love with the theatre.
-The ticket to Macbeth.
Yeah, please.
Bit late for superstition now.
The ticket on your corkboard.
I wondered why it kept irking
me. And then
And then I got it.
Thanks to you, Gilda.
You talked about being a newbie,
watching Archie
in that production.
So you, Mary, you weren't born.
That was Iris's ticket.
Your mum's ticket.
Iris met Archie in
this very theatre 30 years ago
and had you.
Tommy:
Isn't that right, Miranda?
After all, you spoke
about having to share Archie
throughout your
marriage, rumours.
But lots of women
claimed they had his kids.
Lots of them were lying.
He said he never wanted children.
You You took his DNA, right?
A hair from a costume, maybe.
And you sent it off for testing.
That post
that Marvin reprimanded you for.
Do you remember?
That arrived the day before.
And I'm guessing
that that was the DNA results.
Yeah. And those results
confirmed exactly what
your mum told you
before she died.
And you took them to Archie,
and you were hoping for
a beautiful homecoming.
But he did not react
well at all, did he?
Once a bully, always a bully.
-This means nothing!
-Archie, it's right there.
You are fucking delusional!
He
He was cruel.
[ Sighs ]
Yeah. You were angry at
how he reacted.
And you realised what
everyone else had.
That Archie wasn't a hero.
He was a nightmare.
So I didn't get a hug.
Boo-hoo.
-I didn't kill the guy for that.
-No, it wasn't just that.
Pearls.
This will start with the pearls.
You know, I always wondered
why he hired us.
I mean, come on.
Like, he could afford
to go for an elite service,
but it's because this wasn't
This wasn't a real robbery.
He was using the pearls
to frame you, to get rid of you.
So he planted them on you.
And I am guessing
that you you found them
-[ Gasps ]
-that morning
and hid them before we got there.
Do you know what? I think
I think I know where.
The sticky hands.
You had sticky hands the day
we met.
Soap.
♪
The cheap hand soap
he bought you guys as a present.
♪
Right. So now you're pissed.
And now you really want revenge.
You pretended
to microwave some oats
so you could actually
sabotage Archie's EpiPens.
Extreme heat does the trick.
It denatures them.
Then you used Gilda's
usual drink order
as an opportunity to go
and buy peanut butter.
Right? Any corner shop.
So you snuck in.
You planted the peanut oil
on Gilda's lipstick,
spilling a little bit
in the process,
giving yourself hives because
you share your dad's allergy.
You're the one
that Gilda was talking about
when she said
that there were other people
in the cast with allergies.
So then you had to hide
the hives.
Hence the wristband you're
suddenly wearing in rehearsals.
Even though you were able to
carry the set out of the theatre
the very next day.
That's because the wristband
wasn't for an injury.
It was to cover the rash.
And then it was showtime.
And all you had to do
was wait for the kiss.
-[ Gasping ]
-Woman: Get his EpiPen!
You bitch!
You made me kill him.
-What did I ever do to you?
-Oh! Fuck's sake, Gilda.
Maybe this isn't actually
about you for once.
Night of the murder,
you were the one
that broke in through the window
and stole the DNA results
from Archie's dressing room,
because they were the only thing
left that pointed to you.
♪
But then there was Omar,
who knew something he shouldn't.
Yeah.
And your alibi didn't check out.
You weren't in a single
production of "Sweeney Todd"
in the entire country.
I made a lot of calls.
Omar messages me.
You overheard Archie
and I arguing.
Archie:
You're fucking delusional!
♪
Always hanging around,
desperate for gossip.
He wanted to tell the world
what Archie was really like.
And anything he said
would make you a very,
very obvious suspect.
So I had to do what I had to do.
♪
And you came running after me
like some budget Lara Croft.
And pushing me
down the stairs was what?
Covering my bases.
You know,
you shouldn't have got me down
when I was working
on the lighting rig.
Those things can be
really dangerous.
-Heads!
-Aah!
-No!
-Oh, my God!
I don't think so!
Get off, get off, get off!
Mary Ventnor,
you're being arrested
on suspicion of the murder
of Archie St. Vincent
and Omar Bevington.
[ Laughing ]
I can't believe it.
Oh, my gosh.
-Oh.
-[ Sighs ]
Well, you were amazing in there.
You were amazing in there.
Oh, my God.
Tommy, the bit with the pearls.
[ Both laughing ]
Oh.
Do you think we're, like,
actually really good at this?
Yeah.
[ Police radio chatter ]
About earlier
so sorry for storming off.
It's fine.
We're fine.
Are we?
[ Door opens ]
Oh, my God. Tuppence.
You were
You were sensational.
I-I mean,
pure main-character energy.
I mean, just as it should be.
You helped.
Yeah, well
She's right.
It was a great tackle.
-Cheers, mate.
-Well, what do you say?
Drinks to celebrate?
They're on me.
Uh
I think, um
I think I'm gonna head home.
Julian: Okay.
What about you, Tuppence?
Where is home?
Narrator: And so, my lovelies,
I give you another cliffhanger
of sorts.
Not quite life or death,
but perhaps just as important.
♪
Love, after all,
is something people kill for.
♪
And love, like a play
is all about fantasy.
The future we want to see
rather than the past
we wish to forget.
♪
But perhaps it's time
we strayed from our leads
and instead focused
on the real star of the show.
Me.
After all,
there's a murder afoot.
♪
Turns out nowhere is safe
♪
and no one either.
♪
[ Cap unscrewing ]
[ Liquid pouring ]
♪
It might be time
for my final bow.
♪