Twelve Dates 'Til Christmas (2025) s01e04 Episode Script

1
My mom ripped my dad's heart out.
- Kate's mom.
- That's all in the past.
This is Patrick, the
brilliant brand guru.
Penny's posh pies.
All right, you get out.
I'm not a project sofa.
You maybe talking to Rex
kind of stirred up some stuff.
What do you mean. Talking to her ex.
- Oliver
- Oliver.
Sarah was the ex.
Would you want to
maybe get coffee tomorrow.
Thanks for taking me home.
It was the gentlemanly thing to do.
I have impeccable timing, mom.
I think it's no. ♪
Sure yes.
A yacht in the Mediterranean sounds
far more exciting than
Christmas with your daughter.
Oh I'm kidding.
Mom I'll see you New Year's.
All right.
Gotta go.
Yeah Merry Christmas.
Don't be too angry, Darling.
Don't let it spoil everything.
You love Christmas.
Even though it's going
to be a bit different.
Why aren't you more angry at her.
When two people fall
in love and get married,
there are no guarantees.
She wanted to move on.
I had to let her.
She's not supposed to
move on from me Dad.
Come on. Give me a
hand with the decorations.
Norris sent this little
trinket for your tree.
He wanted me to start
again this year for the holiday.
But I said, if my Darling
daughter can't come to me,
then I will go straight to her.
And yet it didn't occur
to you to send a text first.
Oh, where's the fun in that.
So here I am in Oxford.
Charming place.
So many sheep.
You honey, you didn't have to
send that handsome man away
last night.
Well, believe it or not,
my mother showing up
was actually kind of a buzzkill.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go.
Oh, I just got here.
Yeah, I understand that, but I
have work and other commitments,
- so.
- What?
Just things.
Stuff boring things.
Boring stuff.
Maybe you should take a walk
around Oxford, see the sights.
Especially considering
you've never been here before.
Even though your daughter lives here.
Darling, when you've seen
one quaint English village,
you have seen them all.
But don't you worry about me.
I shall stay busy.
Yes, I'm sure you will.
I think it's possible.
Yeah. Oh, well.
Lookie here. What the cat dragged in.
Yes, I know that we're not
in the best place right now,
but we have a very urgent issue.
It doesn't sound like
much of an apology.
Marian, I'm sorry in sight.
I am sorry, I am very sorry.
I thought that I was
being respectful of you and
your relationship by staying out of it,
but I can see that I really hurt you,
and that's the last thing
that I would ever want.
And you.
I know that your enthusiasm
about my personal life
comes from a good place, and
you only want what's best for me.
And I took out all my
frustrations on you.
And I'm the worst person that's
ever lived in the whole world.
And you're the best person that's
ever lived in the whole world.
But please, can you forgive
me now because I really
need your help with something.
Fine you're forgiven, you silly sausage.
All right. Bygones what's the emergency.
My good morning.
Delilah.
Laura, it's been too
long since our New Year's
in Central Park.
And you haven't aged
a bit, which is criminal.
You must be Cam.
I've heard a lot about you.
Likewise it's good to finally meet you.
Kate didn't tell us you were coming.
Oh, I surprised her.
Oh, Kate loves surprises.
Oh, so do I. And you can imagine how
tickled I was to see my Darling
daughter kissing a handsome man
on her stoop last night.
- Richard.
- Righty.
I think that's my cue.
Have a great day, guys. Try the pies.
They're great.
- Katherine.
- Do you have an opinion on this Richard?
I mean, I try not get
involved in Kate's love life.
Oh that's interesting.
Is it.
Immensely well, this is exciting.
You'll have to give me his
surname and date of birth
for the background check.
I'll have to find out if
he's been naughty or nice.
Well, we know he's been
naughty, but I hope that bit was nice.
You were successful.
I am out of my comfort zone.
And now that I'm here, I
have to navigate it my way.
All right, so let's just
skip the background
checks, the unsolicited
advice, the side chats with Drew.
But I talked to Drew all the time now.
That's great. I love that for you.
Just don't talk about me, OK.
And I promise I will still give you all
the juiciest deets of my dates.
- OK?
- OK, fine.
OK, I love you. You're a psycho.
I have a date now. Bye bye.
Don't forget about the
richer details you just said.
Blow by blow account.
OK, so call me later.
My mother says hi.
You learn a lot about a person
when you meet their parents.
You're here.
- Are you my date 8?
- Sadly, no.
I just finished mine, actually.
Oh is it weird to talk about this stuff.
You like dating other
people after last night.
I mean, I know it's part of the deal.
No maybe it is a little weird, but
I don't really have a choice.
I need to do all 12
dates for the article.
Can't have you pulling
the plug halfway through.
Nope have to see
where the story leads me.
Right.
Stop ogling me as I walk away.
Welcome to date number eight.
It's not very romantic, is it.
Well, that's because
it's a date with yourself.
A chance to connect
with the most important
person in your love life.
You your Canvas.
Now pick your poison.
Premium supplies.
Describe the first person
who broke your heart.
Come on.
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but I don't have some big,
life defining heartbreak.
It could be anyone a
friend, a mentor, a parent.
Felicia, you saucy minx.
There you are.
Good God.
Your door was open.
What are you doing here.
Where's Kate.
I found this in the kitchen.
She tried to warn you.
Well, I don't know how
to use this thing anyway.
Romance?
It's for a book club.
A book club, I guess time
really does change a man.
I was the inspiration for this series.
I'd think about it twice if I
were you before I read the SQL.
What are you doing here.
Wait another marriage.
Another divorce on
the run from Interpol.
I'm just visiting.
I haven't seen you since what?
- Kate's graduation.
- Sounds about right.
You know when she
said that you were close,
I didn't realize she meant
you were literally next door.
It's like you're living
in each other's pockets,
perfectly comfortable for us.
Is that what I think it is.
- Don't.
- Oh, me.
It's just like the one we rode
across the states that summer.
Oh, such good memories.
We had fun, didn't we oh.
I've got to start locking that door.
OK, let's not avoid this anymore.
How are you feeling
on the breakup front.
That's why I poured my heart out.
We have a good cry.
That'd be my preference.
Yeah well, I feel like a
right idiot for throwing
everyone out the pop up.
But I also wonder if Sara
and I should have been
together in the first place.
Oh, come on, she was lovely
and physically perfect in every way.
Look at it this way.
Being single at Christmas is brilliant.
No expensive gifts.
No obligatory visits
to her weird family.
No arguments over Christmas music.
So I'm coming out ahead.
Yeah, exactly.
What's that.
The 13 dates of Christmas.
That's a shoddy imitation.
I'm going to go tell drew
about this fraudulent flimflam
a forthwith.
You going to be all right, Cal.
So, yeah, I think I can sum
this up pretty easily for you.
I am a child of divorce.
The kind where the mother just decides
to quit parenting altogether in
favor of frivolous adventures.
So I learned pretty early
on that no matter how
many times people tell
you that they love you,
you still can't trust them.
So yeah.
You think that makes finding
somebody pretty difficult.
Yes of course.
That was rhetorical.
But the point is that I
like to keep things light,
unless it's really the real deal.
And personally, I think
that my coping mechanism
is my superpower, because
otherwise I would have lost it
on my mother a long time ago.
And I think you're going to
be very happy with what's next.
All of this was headed to
the dump last Boxing Day.
So let's turn this holiday
rubbish into something
more productive, shall we.
To move forward in the present,
you need to address the past.
You have to tell your mom how you feel.
I don't think so.
Well, love requires honesty.
Kate she doesn't know how you feel.
Nothing can change between you.
Do it Kate.
Destroy the old way of doing things.
Break through.
Nah, just make things worse.
But this was good.
I feel better.
Thanks.
So, did you all
have a chance to finish it.
- I hope you did.
- Just about.
Did you like it. Really? Oh, good.
It's quite a.
Can I join.
You want to join the nits?
How would you even knit.
No, not yet, but I have read the book.
It's a bit crap, isn't it, that
you have to buy the next one
just to find out who set fire to
the Villa during the honeymoon.
The jealous billionaire.
Oh, right.
Thanks for the spoiler.
Well, everyone, I think
we have a new knitting.
- Make that 2.
- Please God no.
I am Delilah, Mac's ex-wife.
And everything that
you have heard about me
is probably absolutely true.
Mrs. Talbot loved her tartan.
- That looks like a nervous breakdown.
- Really? No.
It's got movement and vitality.
It's angry, aggressive,
filled with tension.
Like a Cobra ready to strike.
Might work on upholstery or bed linens.
Perhaps a furious pillow.
And that's when the Prince
told me he'd renounce his title
to stay with me in Cappadocia.
And did he do it.
Oh, no I called it off the next day.
There was too much at stake.
Geopolitically fascinating, truly.
So now, does anyone have anything
more to say about the ending.
Well, I thought it was
quite complicated, actually.
Was I supposed to know the
jockey had an identical twin.
Well, I thought that myself.
Sounds like you two
are on the same page.
Don't start.
They were stranded
outside Brighton last week.
Stuck out in the elements.
They barely made it back.
It's absolute rubbish.
The car broke down. It got fixed.
We came home. That's it.
Oh, I thought you'd had an argument.
- No not really
- And spent the night at an Inn.
That sounds like classic
enemies to lovers territory to me.
That is my favorite trope.
And now his ex arrives.
Plot twist.
Enough, enough.
Mac and we. We're not.
Characters romance novel.
We were.
Look I mean, does anybody have anything
they want to talk about.
The actual book.
No well, this meeting's adjourned, then.
So, what book are we doing next week.
When do I learn to knit.
You really want to be part of a romance
book club with women who knit
hats that no one will ever wear.
You're probably right.
Never really was my
thing anyway. Was it.
Hey Laura, what's the emergency?
Is it Kate. Date number 8 was tough.
The 13 dates of Christmas.
What is this.
A cheap copy of your genius concept.
But there's only one
Christmas Cupid around here.
And which is what I told
them when I contacted them.
They folded like a card table,
getting out of the matchmaking
game altogether.
That's what the threat of a
trademark infringement lawsuit
will do.
Honestly, it's the most fun
I've had as a solicitor in years.
Laura thank you.
What's wrong.
Does anyone else
you want me to go after.
I'm happy to oblige.
No but the venue for date
number 9 has fallen through.
I've contacted our
backups, but the hedge
maze has a weevil infestation.
And the hot air balloon sprung a leak.
I'm at a loss, and I can't
cancel because people's
hearts are on the line.
I know a place.
So?
I was half expecting
drew to Bill me for therapy.
You have to trust the
process, as Drew always says.
So I liked seeing you today Did I.
Do you have any plans tomorrow.
I have my annual Christmas
tea with my dad in Covent Garden,
but I think I got spirits of
Christmas for date night.
What did you get.
I have something with a sled.
I think we have the worst luck.
Did you get my gift.
No, I don't think that I did.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I'm looking at it.
Open it.
OK, I'm opening it now.
Oh it's beautiful.
It's not bad.
It's mistletoe.
So whenever you wear
it, I an excuse to kiss you.
Not that we've ever needed an excuse.
Oh, my baby girl has a crush.
- Oh.
- Hey, I have to go.
My mom is hyperventilating.
But thank you for the gift.
And I will talk to you soon.
OK talk to you next time.
OK, bye.
I have been waiting
for this day for ages.
Tell me everything.
Wish I could, but gee, look at the time.
Big day tomorrow.
- Let's go ahead.
- 1 cup of cocoa.
Wish I could.
Just can't go on out of there.
Close it on up.
Thank you.
Oh, boy.
I have an exciting business opportunity.
- No.
- You haven't even heard what it is yet.
I don't need to.
Drew is desperate for a
venue for date number 9.
And the pear tree.
No you saw what happened at the pop up.
No more events, no more
business opportunities,
Kate. Tell Callum that
date number 9 should
be here at the pear tree.
That's actually a really
good idea, because then you
could be my date.
Your date.
I mean, not my date.
Not like that.
OK, I sound disgusting.
I'm not that bad.
No, I just mean I'm supposed
to bring a single friend to be
an option for other daters.
Brilliant then it's sorted.
I didn't say yes.
Back in the early days, your
mom threw parties here all the time.
Maybe we should give the guy a break.
You're just hoping that
drew has to cancel date night.
That's true.
But also, look, he
doesn't want to do it.
Fine I'll do it.
You owe me big time.
How thrilling. It's a shame.
You courtyard. Such a mess.
Would have made a great romantic venue.
Come on.
Kate crumbled like a cookie.
It was a lovely service.
Hey I didn't see you there.
That's just what people
always say in the movies.
What I wanted to say was.
I'm sorry your mom died.
She was really cool
and nice, and I just.
I wish.
So you haven't told
me much about your trip
- to Brighton.
- I haven't.
- Well, I went to Brighton.
- Overnight with Evelyn?
I'm just saying.
I know it was two rooms,
but simply stating the facts.
Should we talk about
the gentleman caller who's
been hanging around your place.
Your mother certainly made quite
an impression in town yesterday.
She knows how to make
an entrance and a mess.
Yeah when she decides
to show up, that is.
She's not staying for Christmas, is she.
Oh, I highly doubt it.
Flexford is going to bore her senseless.
I mean, come on.
She was not going to stick around.
We know how she is.
I think since this is your
first Christmas in England,
that you and I should
make our own new traditions.
But first, my dear, you must
learn to embrace your heritage.
I know how to drink tea.
I'm sure.
But did you know that it's
always sugar before milk.
I know any other way
would be just ludicrous.
But it's all going in the same place.
Who cares what order you put it in.
We do see a good English.
Well, traditional English tea
is all about good arguments.
For instance, what would you call that.
A scone.
You see, in this country,
people will fight you to the death.
And whether it's
pronounced scone or scone.
It's a scone.
The correct pronunciation is scone.
Now you're new to the Homeland, so we'll
forgive your trespasses.
But don't you dare
challenge me on whether it's
the cream or the jam.
First on your scone.
Kingdoms have been won and lost over
such important distinctions.
Love this place.
Love this tradition.
Wouldn't miss it for the world.
That's a bold statement for a man
who was recently in traction.
- Tucker.
- I hope you don't mind.
We already seated your third.
Go on.
Mum how did you even.
You know I have my ways.
Hi.
Thank you.
You were a little hard on Mac yesterday.
Excuse me.
Going with you to the cliffs.
They're Latin aerobics.
Reading that ridiculous book.
Seems like he's making a
big effort to get to know you.
And now you're sending
a message to back off.
Oh, look, I don't Callum.
I love my life now.
I'm used to being alone.
I've had a lot to work through.
I'm just not sure I want to
see it all turned upside down.
Putting yourself out there is hard.
It's worth it.
How do you know that.
I put myself out there plenty.
Sarah, the pop up.
Well, not with everyone.
We know who we mean.
I mean, her name is not Sarah.
Evelyn come on.
I know what, I know what I see.
So don't go spouting off about
how putting yourself out there
is hard, but worth it.
Because we both know that
you're avoiding exactly that.
Well, this is a fun little tradition.
It was.
Hey, just because your mother showed up
without any consideration
for our feelings doesn't mean
we should abandon our manners.
No, no.
Our girl tells it like it is.
Nothing wrong with that.
It reminds me of the time when
she got kicked out of swim class
for refusing to swim in the deep end.
Didn't the instructor
call her insubordinate?
Sorry you would have preferred.
I just trusted a guy in
sandals with a man BUN
to keep me from drowning.
He was Greek.
Darling, I don't have room for this gun.
Do you remember when we took
her to the Museum of Modern Art.
- And she tried to call the police.
- Because she was convinced
that van Gogh was a forgery, and no one
could tell her she was wrong.
OK, you guys don't get it.
There was a brushstroke discrepancy.
I stand by that. The
real one's still out there.
You'll see.
It's true.
I haven't thought about
that for a long time.
Listen, we made it through
her middle school years.
That makes US war buddies.
OK, my turn, my turn.
My fun memory is that this is the place
that dad took me when
we had our first Christmas
as a family of two.
Because you decided to leave us.
Yeah, it was a really
tough time, obviously,
but he made it special
and fun for me, so.
I think we should
probably get the check.
Mark, have you started
work on the bike yet.
Oh, gosh, I'd love a ride.
- He's he's selling the bike.
- Eventually.
It still needs its repairs.
You love that bike.
Yeah, but it's dangerous.
And he's not young anymore, so.
Hey, I'm right here.
You can't actually tell
me that you're considering
ever riding that bike again.
Bad, you were in a serious accident.
All the more reason to get back on.
Conquer your fear.
Well, who said I was scared.
You see, your father's
a very capable driver.
He can decide for himself.
OK, sorry.
That's enough.
You don't get to just come
here and tell us how we should or
shouldn't be living our lives.
You're you're not here.
You're not a part of this.
And we're just fine without you.
- Kate.
- No, dad, I'm going to pretend
that this is normal anymore.
I mean, I'm serious.
Like, if I want to move
forward into the present,
I have to address the past.
Oh, come on, let's go
and celebrate the magic
of the season elsewhere.
And by the way, it's pronounced scone.
Yeah.
I don't know what else you expect.
I've got this.
- Sorry.
- It's OK.
The letter got to me again.
It's a complicated relationship.
You don't have to forgive her, you know.
Well, you seem to have
let her off the hook entirely.
It's funny.
We just slipped back
into being your parents
haven't shared that proud feeling
with someone in a long time.
But I tell you, it's a heck of a
lot easier to tolerate her now
that we're not married.
And you got to remember, she gave me
the greatest gift of my life.
Oh mwah.
Well, just cool it with all
the kindness stuff, would you.
Trying to ignore her so she goes away.
Is that what you really want.
It's just so much easier
for me when she's not here.
I'm just still so angry with her.
And I feel like it's her fault that I
don't trust anybody when they
say that they care about me.
Or you know that when somebody says
they're going to do something,
I just automatically assume
that I'm going to be let down.
I just feel tired of having
to keep my guard up.
You feel what you feel.
Just don't let your wheels spin
so they get stuck in the mud.
I'm sorry about your sister.
Oh, you clean up nice.
Are you sure you can really
take this whole night off.
Oh, yes. Laura's in charge.
And as you she loves
bossing people around.
That's true.
Oh, but every fairy light in England.
You know what we actually did.
Oh, this is crazy.
Welcome to the spirits of Christmas.
As you traverse the
globe sampling cocktails
from around the world, be sure
to meet some fellow travelers
on the way.
No offense, Kate, but
the American eggnog.
- It's not great.
- Your loss.
More for me.
True. Hi.
If you'll excuse me, I'll have to go
and save the wait staff from Laura
and her delightful intensity.
Chin, chin and pie launcher.
Cheers.
All righty.
What do you say we look around
for some attractive candidates
for you and some
attractive cocktails for me.
Wait, this is your thing.
Why am I looking for a date.
Because my hands are
kind of full at the moment.
Richard.
Your mom said a lot about him.
On that note, these spirits aren't
going to drink themselves.
Let's go.
Thanks for helping
me pull off this evening.
No problem.
This is so exciting.
This is such a great space.
Why don't they use it.
Honestly, I don't know.
Callum could clean it
up and use it for events.
Oh, 12 dates next year.
I'm just trying to get
through this year first.
But I do have to say
you are good at this.
I am good at this.
You sure you don't want
to try some of this eggnog.
You're missing out.
Yeah, I wholeheartedly disagree.
How are you, sir.
I'm Teresa.
We love her.
She owns her own dental practice.
You have that wiggly crown.
You guys could be a
match made in heaven.
Yeah I'd like to make
dentistry and romance.
Smart what about.
Ooh what about Rose. You see what.
The red sweater.
Yeah yeah, she's really smart.
She's some kind of
like, theoretical physicist,
whatever that is.
She also has incredible cheekbones.
Yeah, I know what we talk about.
Theoretical physics, obviously.
All right, let's see.
Let's try the malt liquor
full time of the year.
Oh, no.
OK you're right.
That's a headache waiting to happen.
What about the mommy kissed Saki clause.
- Yeah, speaking of.
- Kate, excuse me, sweetie.
You can't just give me one day.
Oh, have you two tried the sugar rum.
Faryad?
It is all but transported
me right back to Barbados.
I wish it actually had.
What are you doing here.
It's literally the only
place in this little Hamlet.
I guess I sort of met in Wexford.
Just because you've
made it so abundantly
clear that you'd rather be
anywhere else with anyone else.
Hey easy, Kate.
You canceled New Year's.
Yeah, that wasn't really an open
invitation for you to come haunt
us like the Ghost of Christmas.
Can't be bothered to call or text first.
Truce I could always
handle Christmas with Norris
or whomever, wherever,
drinking whatever.
As long as I knew.
A few days later we'd be
on our holiday adventure.
When you canceled New Year's, I started
to feel like you would be just
fine pushing me out of your life
altogether.
And Christmas felt. Empty.
- Mom.
- We'll be right back.
Oh, OK.
You want to get out of here.
Because we could just dip out the back.
Kate she's trying.
Don't ignore her or
pretend you didn't hear her.
Let her in.
- Why?
- Because I'm sure she's not here to hurt you.
But you could definitely hurt her.
Oh, for God's sakes. Mother.
This is the second time
today, young lady, that you've
walked away from me.
You are so dramatic.
Yeah wonder where I get that from.
So, listen, obviously I
care about our relationship.
- Really?
- Really.
But I'm kind of busy at the moment,
so perhaps we could pick
this back up later at home.
Good luck with the date.
What?
OK, so save it.
Give me that.
All right, now, let's
go get you a drink.
Pick your poison.
Good choice.
OK, here's the plan.
So we're going to walk past
that big group of girls over there.
And then I am going to
trip and sprain my ankle.
Is that really necessary?
Oh, trust me, this works every time.
Then you'll come over
and you'll help me up
and I'll be like, oh, thank you.
And you'll be like, I got you.
And then I'll sit there
just extolling your virtues.
All my virtues.
Yes, that's right, you have virtues.
OK, well, you don't.
You don't believe me.
Here here they are.
Let's see.
You are a small business owner.
And in this economy.
That's amazing.
You make an incredible oxtail soup.
It's a big one.
And you dress like an old professor.
But some people are into that.
And let's see you surround yourself
with strong, capable, funny women.
And you're a great
friend and a great kisser.
I mean, you're pretty
much the whole package.
A great kisser.
Well, yeah, I mean, it's
part of the sales pitch.
You you can remember it
was like, 15 million years ago.
OK. I can remember that kiss.
OK tell me, when did
you and I become a joke.
I feel hollow.
I mean, he never knew what hit him.
He deserved it.
Love Actually isn't just a movie.
It's a reflection of.
Society.
I love you.
I love this song, too.
I'll be right back.
It's a great party girl, right.
Thank you.
Will you stop avoiding me
and answer the question.
How about the fact that you
told me that you loved me.
And then five seconds later, you were
making out with someone else.
I knew you heard me.
I'm locked out.
Kate won't give me a key.
I wouldn't either.
Tea?
Some things never change.
A lot of things do.
So
I think I made progress
with Kate tonight.
That's good.
And
I'm sure you also must have
some thoughts that you've
been sitting on for 15 years.
Like I ran out on you.
I'm unreliable, and I
only date men with yachts.
Come on.
McIntosh let me have it.
Just don't hurt our daughter again.
Look, Callum.
It's fine.
It's fine that you didn't mean it.
I mean, we were kids.
How do you know. I didn't mean it.
How did you know that, Kate.
Well, what else was I supposed to think.
I mean, you backtracked
almost immediately.
I had to laugh it off.
Then
Let me set the record straight.
Just say, and I. And I kiss you.
It's not a joke.